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makeste · 4 years ago

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“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua and @class1akids’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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decepti-thots · 3 years ago

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Hello! So, I had a dream in which instead of Megatron it was Optimus/Orion who joined the Lost Light. And I’ve been thinking about it... how different would everything turn out? Megatron staying on Cybertron and confronting decepticons (because I believe he would have joined the autobots in this AU?? too) and maybe even going to Earth along with Prowl, Arcee and co, his conflict with Starscream (and Windblade?), his conflict with humans after AHM (awkwaaaard), trying to redeem himself but kind of failing (like remember Optimus annexing the Earth?).

And Orion (who may or may not become a co-captain) dealing with his deeds (because he, too, directly or indirectly killed a lot of people), Brainstorm maybe actually trying to kill him instead of Megatron, Rodimus vs. Optimus, Getaway’s conflict with him (he (believed) that he was “worthy” of the Matrix, after all).

There’s just so much that can be explored!

first off, you guys continue to have way cooler dreams than me, and i continue to be jealous.

second of all, i get that you probably meant this from an in-universe perspective, but my brain immediately jumps to 'what if Megatron was in exRiD and Orion was in MTMTE/LL', which tbh is something i have thought about before, haha. the way the storylines on Cybertron vs the LL go is so tied not just to in-universe plot events but also the genres those comics are in and the approaches they take, it's hard for me to imagine without considering that element.

some not-very-connected thoughts i have, given all the above:

barber is a loooot less sentimental than jro about many TF characters. i don't say this as a value judgement, just an observation. in particular, his approach to OP as a Big Iconic Character TM in exRiD is to make OP central to the lives of other characters and explore his impact on them, rather than necessarily making OP a very conventional protagonist. which definitely fits with a ton of what you bring up here, and ESPECIALLY the stuff re: humans on Earth if Megatron was there, rather than off in space. the entire element of what atrocities Megatron committed during the war mostly being towards non-cybertronians by numbers that gets brought up in EC becomes a lot less hypothetical and lot more immediate with Megatron on Earth. i think that's a storyline for Megatron that would have a very ambiguous tone and be a lot more about how other characters feel about him than in MTMTE/LL, where much of the focus comes from his perspective more directly.

i think megatron-prowl would have been a FASCINATING parallel in this context btw. AND megatron-arcee. honestly, i think megatron would have fit into exRiD surprisingly well thematically. arcee, prowl and megatron in IDW all represent different questions about surprisingly similar themes IMO: culpability, change, agency over your circumstances and actions, and exploitation vs. being explioited. and prowl-megatron especially is very personal, and really brings into focus the 'war left every side with dirty bullshit to deal with', versus arcee having been largely uninvovlved and having a very different outsider perspective, so.

by contrast i feel somewhat less enthusiastic about OP in the LL? partly because I am not sure jro is great at committing to IDW OP as flawed. i won't get too into it here because one day i really want to write meta about it, but the backstory jro fleshed out for OP (the 'one good hero cop' stuff we see first in Chaos Theory and then in Shadowplay, etc) has always been one of the weaker parts of phase two for me. also, I don't think OP fits as well into the themes of MTMTE/LL as megs does for exRiD… there's a lot about what it means to make significance in your life when you have become insignificant, but OP never actually becomes insignificant in IDW. he sort of… tries to, and the issue he has is that he fails. imo anyway.

still, there's definitely some interesting possibilities. for a start, the rodimus-OP stuff would be WILD. the chance to really address some of that Autocracy stuff is so tantalizing, and something there was just never room for anywhere else. likewise the Getaway stuff you mention, especially regarding the MTO subtext coming full bore with the guy who approved that for the autobots right there. OP is not just the guy who has the matrix, he's ALSO the guy who approved the program which created getaway AND the guy who presumably approved it being so… you know. awful and a war crime and all that. (i would totally love a version of events where getaway preys on roddy's insecurities re: OP to depose him, only to turn on roddy himself.)

anyway jkfhjss yeah it's very interesting!! i will say, i didn't mention the starscream-windblade stuff because i genuinely am not sure where i think that would go... mostly because there are kind of two versions of those plots in idw and they have, imo, very different starscreams in particular. barber and scott were kind of telling different stories, especially re: that history with starscream, so... idk.

#i wrote this on lunch break so sorry it's so off the cuff klfjsdfs i had like 15 minutes

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dango-milk · 3 years ago

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forever and always (zhongli’s version)

One second it was perfect, now you’re halfway out the door.

an ode to heartbreak masterlist: (x)

word count: 6321

genre: fluff to angst

pairings: zhongli x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for zhongli’s backstory, the liyue archon quest, and liyue’s history in general

want to be tagged when future oth works come out? click here!

additional notes: this fic was so hard to write omg. tense consistency? I don’t know her

You believe it was a Tuesday when you caught Zhongli’s eye.

You were starting to think that Childe had permanently moved to Liyue after he’d invited you out for lunch on that fateful day, promising to make up for what had happened at the diplomatic ball all those months ago. Begrudgingly, you’d agreed, solely for the fact that you were starting to enjoy finding ways to rile the Harbinger up.

“Ah, I’ve invited a friend over, if you don’t mind,” you heard him say behind the partition of the Liuli Pavilion. You raised an eyebrow, surprised that Childe had other friends besides you (if you could even call yourself his friend at all).

“Master Childe, your guest is here,” the waiter announced, and you nod in thanks as you make your way over to the reserved table. You raised your eyes, first to meet Childe’s in greeting, and second to look at his other visitor.

(Dear Celestia, he’s beautiful.)

You’d fought the urge to gape at the tall stranger enjoying a cup of tea adjacent to where you were standing. His eyes had peered over the rim to give you a quick once-over, which normally you would have found rude, but there wasn’t a hint of disrespect emanating from him—just pure curiosity.

Actually, you weren’t sure if he had the capacity to be anything negative, despite having just laid eyes on him for the very first time.

“Allow me to introduce (Y/N),” Childe said, breaking you out of your thoughts. “A very dear comrade of mine.”

“We only just met a few months ago,” you corrected him rather curtly, taking a seat and trying not to overwhelm yourself with the eyes you could feel practically boring into your soul.

“Yes, but all circumstances considered, I feel like I’ve known you forever by now.” Childe waggled his eyebrows in the most unattractive way possible, pulling a snort from you. “(Y/N), this is Mr. Zhongli, a consultant for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” the man named Zhongli finally spoke, and you nearly wanted to keel over from the deep timbre of his voice. His voice sounded like entire mountains moving, and all you’d managed was a small smile and a polite nod.

“(Y/N) here’s from the Adventurer’s Guild,” Childe continued. “All the way from Mondstadt.”

“Interesting.” Zhongli set his cup down. “What do you specialize in?”

“Specialize—” you squeaked, before clearing your throat and shaking your head in embarrassment. “Well, I take on commissions like any other Adventurer, really. But I’m a...a scholar of sorts, so it’s my job to learn as much as I can about a region to add to the Guild’s intel. Help Adventurers know the lay of the land and the culture that surrounds it.”

“Impressive,” Zhongli mused, and you could tell that he meant it, by the way his eyes softened marginally. “And what made you move to Liyue?”

Childe snickered as he dug into his food. “Funny you should ask, because—”

You crushed his foot under yours. “Well, I’ve already learned much about Mondstadt, so I’ve decided to move on to different nations to expand my research. And the, er, pay is marginally better here, so it was a rather easy decision to make.”

You didn't explain any further, having already learned the dire consequences of running your mouth willy-nilly from no less than the person struggling with chopsticks sitting next to you.

The memories of your last visit to Mondstadt didn’t help either, with their endless picking at your heart and at your conscience.

Thankfully, Zhongli had only nodded, murmuring “That sounds practical” before turning his attention back to his food. You’d taken it as a sign to start preparing your own dish, picking steamed buns and vegetables from the revolving center of the table.

As much as you had wanted to hear from Zhongli a little more, you couldn’t find the words to speak. Thankfully, Childe was happy to fill the void with anecdotes from his travels, as well as some other remarks that kept the lunch from being uncomfortably silent. It was jarring to see someone as rambunctious as him converse so easily with someone as serene as Zhongli, who acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

An image came to you then, of an orange-haired dog sprinting around in circles, its tail occasionally smacking into a black cat trying to sleep. A giggle slipped past your lips before you could stop it, and your cheeks burned when Zhongli and Childe turned to look at you.

But all good things come to an end, and it came in the form of a Fatui member coming over to whisper in Childe’s ear. The Harbinger’s face fell briefly, before sighing and waving his subordinate away. "There goes the rest of my afternoon plans," he complained, setting his chopsticks down and standing up.

"You're leaving?" Zhongli asked.

"Some new members thought it would be funny to mess around with some lawachurls, and now they've lost most of their supplies for the month." Childe pinched the gap between his eyebrows in annoyance. "I'd reckon some bone-breaking is in order—if they aren't already broken, that is."

You shook your head, knowing all too well what lawachurls were capable of, and wondered how they would compare against one of Childe's harsh reprimands.

"The bill's covered, so please stay as long as you like." He bowed slightly to Zhongli, before turning to you with a grin. "I'll be seeing you around, lovely."

His gloved hand reached out to swipe lightly against your cheek, and you smacked it away, hearing nothing but an amused chuckle as he left.

As soon as Childe had left, it took you a while to realize the situation you were in.

Your breath stuttered.

Zhongli sighed. "I'm not opposed to punishment in response to reckless behavior, but Childe does have some interesting ideas in that department." He looked at you, and his eyes seemed to be smiling. "How long have the two of you been together?"

You choked on your drink, spitting it out rather unattractively before coughing the rest of the liquid out of your lungs. You accepted the napkin that Zhongli passed to you, cheeks warming uncomfortably as you patted your mouth dry.

"We aren't together," you finally said. "Not in that way. I just owe him something."

"In that case, you have my deepest sympathies," Zhongli replied, raising his glass to you with a humorous look on his face.

You elected to say no more beyond that, believing your character to be as good as ruined in the eyes of such a dignified gentleman, and instead focusing on the slice of pie you'd taken for dessert.

For better or for worse, it seemed Zhongli wasn't keen on letting you off so easily. "So, a scholar at the Adventurer's Guild," he started again. "It seems like a very interesting job indeed. Were your parents Adventurers, too?"

"My mother was, yes," you replied, and your throat tightened a little at the mention of her. "My father was a hunter at Springvale."

Zhongli hummed. "I'm sure your mother is proud of you for having progressed so far in your career."

"I doubt it."

Zhongli only looked up at you in confusion.

"My mother left me to go on an adventure and never came back." The words had come out as a spit, as if the words mixed horribly with the crumbs in your mouth and your natural reflexes had kicked in.

"My apologies," Zhongli said. "I was not aware."

"It's alright," you'd replied, wanting nothing more than to change the subject.

"Forgive me, but...your father?"

"He passed away a few years ago."

"I…" Whatever Zhongli had to say, it quickly died in his throat. "I am deeply sorry for your loss, (Y/N)."

You smiled at him, partially to assure him that he'd done no harm and partially to lift the heavy atmosphere that had settled over the two of you. You didn't want your first encounter with this man to be over your deceased father and absentee mother.

"You're right, though," you told him. "I have progressed quite a lot. And there's nothing I love more than learning about new things. The true spirit of adventure lies in the knowledge that you gain, the enemies you defeat, and the friendships formed along the way."

Zhongli nodded solemnly, a faint smile on his lips. "I couldn't agree more."

"There's so much more to see, so many sights and sounds to experience. And Liyue…" You sighed dreamily. "I stuck around for a couple of months for some commissions prior to my moving here, but I feel like I've yet to scratch the surface. The land is just teeming with stories and rich in history; some of the libraries here hold scrolls dating from even before the Archon War!"

Zhongli set his cup down yet again, lacing his hands together and propping his chin up against them. For the briefest of moments, you'd noticed his deviance from basic table manners, but all you were thinking about was what you've learned so far from the Nation of Contracts.

You were practically vomiting words at this point. "I even got myself into a little tiffy with some scholars at one of the tea houses...they were waxing poetic about how the first Mora ever created by Rex Lapis was something extra special, and it should be stored away in a museum.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“I said it wasn’t anything special. Just your average Mora, much like the ones we use every day.” You spun one of the coins Childe had left on the table. “I believe Rex Lapis would rather every single Mora be used in the way it was intended to be used.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Zhongli took another sip of his tea. “I have been making the same argument for quite some time now.”

“Oh, you must not be popular at tea houses now, either.”

Zhongli laughed with you, and it was a warm, fluttery feeling that spread throughout your entire chest.

Soon, you'd made your way out of Liuli Pavillion, having eaten your fill and having exhausted all of your stories with Zhongli.

"I can help with your research, if you'd allow me," he suddenly said, before you parted ways. "I do not wish to flatter myself, but I do know a thing or two about Liyue."

"You certainly do, judging from our conversations earlier," you agreed. "That would be very helpful, thank you. But how is it that you know so much, Mr. Zhongli? Did your father teach you?"

"Just Zhongli is fine." His eyes seemed to glow like molten gold. "And yes, my dear. My father taught me."

And so began a new chapter in your life in Liyue, one that had you spending your days with the educated—if not a little eccentric—consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. He made good on his promise, freely offering you his aid and declining any attempts of yours to pay for it. You were getting worried that you were practically taking advantage of him, as you found that you needed his help quite a lot, but he would always simply wave off any of your protests with a fond smile on his face, assuring you that your understanding of the city was enough compensation.

The only consolation that you got from never being able to repay him in kind was the fact that he seemed more than happy to talk about anything with you. You were an eager student, and it helped that Zhongli was a wonderful teacher, never once dismissing any of your thoughts as foolish or far-fetched. He spoke with a refinement that most men could only dream of having, his patience seemingly stretched all the way to the heavens, and his wisdom seemed beyond what was expected of anyone his age (which, you never really got to ask about).

His line of work was more than enough material to work with, as he constantly dabbled in different ceremonies for the dead, one of the key practices in Liyue’s culture. Initially, he’d been a little reluctant to let you in on some of the more morbid aspects of the job. He later relented, after you assured him that you were able to handle them, though he still kept you out of the room during the more “hands-on” moments.

When you weren’t out on commissions, you could always be found in one of Liyue’s many libraries, your nose buried in a book or a scroll you’d dug out of the deepest recesses of the bookshelves. Zhongli sometimes joined you, offering explanations on articles you didn’t understand and deciphering characters you found difficult. On days that work called his focus away, he would write some recommendations and leave it at the Guild for you to find. Other times, he would catch up with you over dinner, speaking about Liyue and debating historical facts until the night melted into the morning.

Though Mondstadt was forever in your heart, despite the memories attached to it, it was incredibly easy to fall in love with Liyue. You loved watching the sun rise above the harbor, painting the city with vibrant shades of red and gold. You’d remarked that perhaps this was the reason why Rex Lapis had moved his people here, of all places.

(“Aside from it being an ideal place for trade, yes,” he’d replied, sounding oddly wistful. “That might be one of the reasons.”)

You enjoyed milling through the market, hearing the merchants inviting people to look over their wares and the exchanging of gossip (which you admittedly indulged in on your many grocery trips). But the marketplace, apparently, was not the best place for Zhongli; your eyes had nearly popped out of their sockets when he told you that he’d given over a month’s worth of his salary to a gentleman who promised him a tenfold return in six months.

(“He was rather persuasive, you know,” he later told you.)

Days stretched into months, and it seemed like you knew Liyue as well as you knew the back of your hand. Your expertise eventually got you a promotion at the Guild: a top spot in the Intelligence Department, which allowed you access to more of the Guild’s files detailing experiences from other Adventurers. You were over the moon when you told Zhongli the good news, and though he didn’t squeal and jump up and down as you did, his smile was worth a million Mora. Childe was also in town then, and the three of you celebrated over a lavish dinner and some drinks on the side.

Even with Childe constantly getting on your nerves, Zhongli acted like a balm of sorts to ease the tension in the air. You found your bond with the Harbinger slowly turning into a real friendship, taking his constant challenges and snide remarks as harmless jokes that you easily passed back to him. Zhongli was only too happy to be a spectator, occasionally laughing whenever you and Childe exchanged playful jabs.

He looks so much better when he laughs, you thought.

As if he’d heard your thoughts, Zhongli tilted his head in your direction. You dropped your gaze as soon as it met his, and forced a laugh at one of Childe’s stories.

(You pray he doesn’t hear the hammering of your heart in your chest, either, as he walks your drunk asses home.)

“Xiangling!”

“Ah, (Y/N)!” The Wanmin Restaurant’s youngest and most talented chef returned your call just as she served a steaming bowl of black-back perch stew to a delighted customer. “Come in, come in.”

“Please excuse the intrusion,” you announced, waving at Chef Mao with a smile before taking a seat at your usual table. Chongyun and Xingqiu, two of Xiangling’s closest friends, sent you a friendly wave before going back to whatever novel Xingqiu had with him.

“Here you are,” Xiangling said, setting your order down in front of you. “Careful, it’s still hot!”

“Anything else I should be careful about?” you teased, alluding to the time she had served you an experimental dish that had your stomach in knots all afternoon.

Xiangling’s cheeks turned pink. “That was the first time I used a combination of Dendro and Pyro slimes. I thought it would give a little more of a kick.”

“I’m kidding, Xiangling. It looks great.”

Xiangling finally beamed, and seeing as there were no customers to serve at the present time, she allowed herself to sit in front of you as you ate. “So, what have you got for me this time?”

As soon as you’d swallowed your first bite, you dug around in your bag and brought out your notebook, the one reserved for recipes you’ve discovered around Liyue. Most of them were from the library, others from restaurants seeking to preserve their cuisine, and a small percentage were from locals who were willing to sit down and chat about some of their favorite recipes. You weren’t a bad cook, but you needed the input of a local chef, which Xiangling was only happy to fulfill.

It had surprised Zhongli when you’d told him of your intention to document Liyue’s cuisine, with the idea that food was just as important as buildings, attitudes, and language when it came to culture. Liyue, the center of trade and divided into two warring cuisines, was practically a holy grail for culinary enthusiasts. He of course agreed wholeheartedly, and handed over his own specialty, a slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup.

“Hmm.” Xiangling scanned your notes. “I’ve heard about some of these, but the techniques are pretty dated. You could probably make do with some modern supplies, like using cuihua wood instead of rosewood...aw, but it isn’t going to have that sweet tangy note to the soup...well, unless you add an extra teaspoon of sugar…”

“Hey, (Y/N),” Chongyun came over and sat at your table, all smiles as he bit off a part of his popsicle. “Lost Xiangling already?”

“Yeah,” you sigh in amusement, watching Xiangling mutter to herself, fully engrossed in your notes. “Liyue’s cuisine is a lot more complicated than I thought. Where’s Xingqiu?”

“He was called back home. Something about the cor lapis supply...I have no idea how he’s involved in that.”

“Cor lapis!” Xiangling snapped her fingers. “Have you considered stone boiling, but with cor lapis instead of your normal everyday rock?”

Chongyun sighed.

“Ah, well, if it works…” You weren’t too enthusiastic about going all the way to Mt. Aocang to harvest some cor lapis on a whim, but who were you to know? “In any case, I feel I need a little more hands-on help. How about a barbecue on Saturday night? I’ll bring all the supplies you need.”

“Ooh, that sounds—ack!” Xiangling yelped, her hand darting down to massage the foot that Chongyun had crushed under his heel. If you hadn’t checked to see what happened under the table, you would have seen Chongyun gesture sharply at the entrance of the restaurant, causing Xiangling to cough loudly.

“I—I mean, I’m sorry, (Y/N), I just remembered I have a large delivery on Sunday! Yeah, lots of spicy chop suey…maybe Mr. Zhongli can go instead!”

“Zhongli?”

“Me?” A smooth baritone voice cut through the conversation, and you turned in your seat to see the man himself, the director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor peeking from behind his arm.

“Right, Hu Tao?” If you hadn’t again been so distracted by Zhongli’s mere presence, you would have definitely seen Chongyun and Xiangling frantically gesturing for Hu Tao to play along. “A barbecue to help (Y/N) figure out how to create this recipe!”

“Hmm.” Hu Tao crossed her arms, her usual devilish smirk playing across her features. “I don’t know…”

“Hu Tao!” Chongyun hissed.

“Hehe, of course!” Hu Tao patted Zhongli’s arm like they were best buddies, and you had to laugh at the way Zhongli stiffened at the contact. “You’ll go, Mr. Zhongli, right? It wouldn’t be nice to keep (Y/N) all alone in the dark at this time of the year.”

“Whatever do you mean, director?”

“Aiya, I’m just saying, a gentleman as refined as yourself should be able to keep (Y/N) company and keep them safe at the same time, right?”

“R-really, it’s fine,” you laughed weakly, waving your arms. “Zhongli’s busy, and he’s probably tired after all the work he’s done today, so…”

“Not entirely,” Zhongli said. “I always have time for you, (Y/N).”

Silence fell. With rapidly warming cheeks, you turned to see Xiangling pursing her lips, evidently trying not to laugh, and Hu Tao’s signature shit-eating grin lighting up her entire expression.

“Well, then,” Chongyun coughed, trying to break the tension. “That settles it! Ah, Xiangling, you have a customer waiting…”

“That—that’s right!” Xiangling finally said, in between giggles. “Hu Tao—right this—hehe—right this way, please!”

You had no other choice but to watch Xiangling, Chongyun, and Hu Tao dash out of the restaurant’s premises, giggling up a storm and slapping each other’s arms.

Zhongli turned to you. “Have I said something?” he asked.

“...and...there!” You stabbed the last of the vegetables through the stick, and held it up to the glow of the moonlight. “How are you doing, Zhongli?”

Zhongli hummed in response, clicking the tongs as he flipped the meat he was grilling to its other side. “This is almost done,” he replied. “How do you like your meat? Well done?”

“A little on the rare side, please.”

“Alright.”

You placed the last skewer onto the plate, before leaning back and stretching. You’d figured that the best you can do in exchange for Zhongli agreeing to your little getaway was to let him pick the location, and you were so glad that you did—he’d picked out a spot on Mt. Tianheng that overlooked Liyue Harbor, letting you see the city in all its gilded splendor. Admittedly, it was a little difficult getting all the way up to it (even more so for Zhongli, who insisted on carrying the brazier that Xiangling had lent you), but the view at the top was completely worth it.

Soon enough, you had set down the basket and spread out a large table cloth (that you’d unceremoniously yanked from your dinner table when Zhongli came to pick you up) onto the grass, and you began grilling away, with no regard whatsoever for the recipes that you were supposed to be following.

Zhongli set the tongs down, and leaned over to check the skewers. He nodded in satisfaction. “Excellent work,” he noted. “I suppose we can grill half of these and leave the other half for you to grill by yourself at home.”

“Don’t be silly, Zhongli,” you said, nudging his arm playfully. “You’re getting a portion to take home, too.”

“Of course, of course.” Zhongli held up one of the first sticks you’d skewered with a slight grin, remarking without words the haphazard way you’d cut up the vegetables. You scowled and attempted to snatch it away, but he held it out of your reach—which, even as he was sitting down, was practically miles away from your arm’s length.

“Zhongli.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re being mean.”

Zhongli chuckled. “My apologies. You’re adorable when you’re angry.”

You snatched the failed skewer away from him and quickly turned away. “You...you shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Like what?”

“You know what.”

“I truly don’t.”

(Is he being serious?)

You snuck a look at him over your shoulder, and when you found the amused smirk still on his face, you huffed and crawled over to the grill, retrieving the meat that was about to go up in smoke.

“Oh?” You glanced over to see Zhongli flipping through one of your notebooks. “I know this song.”

“Seriously? Archons, just how old are you, Zhongli?”

Zhongli just smiled, as he’s always done when faced with the question of his age, and instead began to sing one of the lyrics off the page.

You didn’t expect to hear his singing voice now, of all times, under the glow of the moon and surrounded by the smell of barbecue and osmanthus wine. It was just as smooth and velvety as his normal speaking voice, washing over your entire figure like water over stones.

Before you knew it, you were singing along with him, as if you’d known the song all this time. The alcohol in your veins occasionally kicked your voice off-key, which only sent the two of you into hysterics; paired with full bellies and the cool winds of spring, you felt as if you were flying.

You weren’t sure if Zhongli was riding the same high as you were, given his typical reserved nature, but all doubts were dispelled when he leaned towards you, right as you were about to hit the chorus.

You wondered then, why those words sounded louder than the notes bouncing off the walls of Mt. Tianheng.

When you glanced over at him, your breath hitched; his eyes looked just like the setting sun.

The rising sun bathes the entire room in a soft light, but you feel none of its warmth.

The coldest area was, in fact, next to you; the only indicator that someone had occupied the space was a cup that had not been there the night before present on the nightstand. That aside, Zhongli’s side of the bed was pristine, clean, and—ultimately—empty.

You sit up with a tired grunt, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and letting the dawn of a new day settle on you. You stare at the cup on the nightstand and sigh, the initial hope that this morning would be different from all the mornings prior to today quickly turning to resignation.

Still, it would not do for you to mull in your sadness, so you push the covers off you and make your way to the kitchen. It all seemed predetermined to you, the way that you just knew that there would already be breakfast on the table, covered with a net to keep the flies away. You also knew beforehand that the house would be, just like his side of the bed, free of dirt and grime (only for them to accumulate once more, given that neither of you were ever truly home all the time).

If he has time to clean the house and make breakfast, he has time to kill in the mornings, you think bitterly.

Instead of sucking it up and eating anyway, you sit at the table, refusing to touch a single ceramic—in a quiet sort of defiance.

You sit there for seemingly hours, watching the sunlight filter through the broken window in the kitchen, illuminating the dust particles dancing in the air like snowflakes. The house is quiet, except for the chirping of birds, sweeping in the streets, and the occasional idle chatter. It was the noise you were used to, having lived alone for months prior to when he came along, but for some reason, it was different this time.

This silence was louder, more deafening. Void. Empty. Like the hole that’s made its home in your heart, festering and growing in size over the weeks. If you listened closely, you could hear the wind whistling through the gap, like a canyon void of all life; as a child of freedom, a child of Mondstadt, the wind had always been your source of comfort. Now, all it did was remind you of just how much you’d carved yourself out for the people you held most dear.

Wordlessly, and as if guided by some unknown force, you place your hand over your heart. It beats, as of course it must, but the crater presses against your lungs; now, you no longer wonder why it’s been so difficult to breathe lately.

It was perfect. Everything had been so perfect, but looking back, you had most likely baited yourself into it. But who could blame you, with a lover that felt like the first spring after eons of winter?

You would cry, but no tears spring to your eyes. They must have fallen into the abyss, too.

Your eyes flicker to the sitting room instead, and try as you may, you see no signs of Zhongli having occupied any of the cushions. You scoff—in scorn or in sadness, you no longer know.

But something else catches your eye: the book sitting dangerously at the edge of the coffee table. Usually, stray books lying around are a common occurrence in your house, but you know why this one piques your attention.

“Who’s Guizhong?”

When you received no immediate reply, you glanced over your shoulder in questioning. Your lover stood in the kitchen with his back to you, shoulders taut and back stiff, even more so than usual.

“I would have thought you’d come across that name sooner,” he replied. “It’s basic Liyue history.”

“Mm.” You returned your attention to the book that one of the older scholars had recommended to you. “I just never really went in depth with the subject. Who better to ask than—”

“I’ve forgotten.”

You glanced at him again, this time in surprise. For a moment, you hear nothing but the sound of the kettle clinking over the fire.. The silence that had fallen over you felt as heavy as mountains, and you opened and closed your mouth, trying to find the words to shake them off you.

“I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” Zhongli turned on his heel sharply, patting his hands dry on his pants before walking over to you to kiss the top of your head. “I’m going out.”

You scrambled to your feet, tossing the book back on the table as you watched Zhongli pull his coat on. “Zhongli, please, I’m sorry—”

“No, my darling, that’s not it. I just remembered I’d be meeting a client today.”

“At this hour?” Your throat was rapidly closing, sending you into tunnel vision as Zhongli stepped down to slip into his shoes.

(Where have you seen this scenario before?)

“It can wait until tomorrow, surely…”

“I’m afraid not. I just remembered at the last second, and I don’t want to risk the director spiking my afternoon tea with Jueyun Chili again.”

That drew a small laugh from you, but that was all it took for Zhongli’s features to soften. He gathered your face in his hands and kissed you gently, reverently, so much so that your knees felt as if they were about to give out at any time.

When he finally pulled away, he studied your face for a minute, before closing his eyes again and sighing.

“Don’t wait up,” he whispered, before pecking your nose and disappearing out the door.

You stared as the door closed in your face, the sound of the kettle screeching fading to white noise in the background.

Two days.

He’d been gone two days after that.

“Don’t wait up,” he’d told you. And he had the audacity to look surprised, when he finally came home, to see you nursing a cup of tea in the sitting room, with heavy bags under your eyes.

And so the cycle had begun. He’d disappear for days on end, under a new excuse every single time, though the work-related ones had quickly disappeared under a concerned Hu Tao’s thumb. When you had spoken to the director, you prayed she wouldn’t notice the quiver in your voice, nor the slight panic that had taken over your expression when she’d disclosed the truth—Zhongli had suddenly picked up the habit of skipping work.

But of course, he denied it all when you’d confronted him.

He’d come home every now and then, and though it left a bitter taste in your mouth, you attempted to check for signs that he’d been with someone else—lingering perfume, marks on his immaculate skin, anything—alas, there were none. For now, at least.

Zhongli, in his infinite wisdom, honestly believed that keeping the house neat and tidy and leaving food on the table would be enough to make up for his frequent absences. You would’ve told him that a single conversation would be enough to help you make sense of things—if he was ever home whenever you were.

It had gotten so bad that you yourself had lagged behind on your own work, instead spending the nights as you had when you first arrived at Liyue all those years ago: drowning your sorrows in bottles of wine. And then you’d stumble home alone, the lanterns hanging around swirling like comets in the sky as you attempted to navigate through the streets.

If only finding him was as easy as making your way home after one too many drinks…

...you slowly sit up straight.

You didn’t need to wait for him—not when you could just go out and find him yourself.

How simple. You chuckle to yourself, feeling light-headed at the utter absurdity of the whole situation. You know Zhongli wouldn’t question it this time. You’ve been known to follow him around, after all, knowing you were bound to learn something new from your encyclopedia of a lover when you were out in the open.

When your hands finally find themselves around the now cold teapot, you wonder what you would learn from him this time around.

And if it was something worth learning about, you wonder again, when you find him all by his lonesome in Guili Plains, your front covered in blood from clearing the hilichurl camp you’d come across on your way.

You grunted as you hauled yourself up, marking the end of your arduous journey to the spot Zhongli had requested to meet at. Liyue sprawled out beneath you, glittering under the blanket of night, but you barely spared it a glance—not when the person you were aching to see stood right in front of it.

Standing there, you found yourself at a loss for words. The weeks following the incident on Mt. Tianheng had you avoiding Zhongli like he was the plague, which he did in return. For a while, you attributed it to the sudden increase in commissions as a result of the events of the Rite of Descension; the assassination of the Prime Adeptus, Lord of Geo, Rex Lapis himself had shaken the entirety of Liyue to its core. But once the dust had cleared, and Zhongli finally came knocking on your door this morning, you couldn’t kid yourself any longer.

Your thoughts had been a mess; the weight of Zhongli’s words that night lurked in the deepest recesses of your mind, and you couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was true. Had love, which left you crying by the front door grasping at tailcoats, come back for you once more? Had it finally settled in your life, after years of skirting around the edges and endless promises of never falling prey to its clutches forevermore?

The questions disappeared, seemingly into thin air, when Zhongli finally turned around.

For a minute, you two just stood there, as if time had stilled and all that was left in the world was the weight of his gaze.

“(Y/N).” He spoke your name with a reverence that one typically reserves for prayer.

You only stared at him in response, heart hammering in your throat.

“I don’t think I’ve ever really tested just how much you know about Liyue.” The wind picked up, and you caught the faint scent of Glaze Lilies. “Are you in the mood for some questions?”

You finally found the courage to speak. “Ask away.”

Zhongli turned back to the sight of Liyue beneath him, and to you, he looked like a god turning his divine gaze on the people below. “The amber on Mt. Hulao is said to be the work of the adepti, intended to trap intruders, monsters, and humans alike. True or false?”

You frowned. “It’s not an adeptus power. Amber is created by karst crawlers, most probably as a defense mechanism when something steps on it; the exploration team I sent out came back with a sample.”

Zhongli only hummed, and you worked up the nerve to walk over by his side. The familiar scent of incense quickly overpowered the sickly sweet aroma of Glaze Lilies, and you relaxed in its embrace.

“The goddess of salt, Havria,” he continued. “The gentle and kind deity who ruled over Sal Terrae who was said to be murdered by Morax at the height of the Archon War. Any thoughts on how this might have come about?”

“I…” You blinked in confusion. “I don’t...Zhongli, what is all this about?”

Zhongli remained silent, seemingly unaware of your bemused state.

You waved your hands helplessly. “The Archon War was a power struggle between deities of great ability. Fatalities were inevitable.”

“So you don’t believe that Morax, who slew countless other gods, gods that he once considered friends, had it in him to cast down another one if it meant clearing the way to becoming one of the Seven?”

“It may not have been Morax at all. Everyone was fighting against someone or something. What does the Lord of Geo have against salt?”

Zhongli chuckled, though it sounded a little distant. When he finally turned to you again, his expression was equal parts warm and wistful. He offered you his hands, and you placed your shaking ones in them.

“Last question.” He ran his thumbs over your skin. “You were there when you saw the Exuvia fall out of the sky at the Rite of Descension, yes?”

You nodded.

“Then Rex Lapis is dead.”

You felt your skin crawl, like lightning had started coursing through your system from your interconnected hands.

“True…” Zhongli cupped the side of your face, cradling it gently. “...or false?”

Looking into his eyes, you already knew the answer.

taglist (those in italics, I can’t seem to tag you :< ): @izayanna @onigiree @thetwinkims @cybersnotonline @decaffeinateddragonbananagoth @candyqueen10 @littlefluffbunz-4208 @xuenn @crushmylimbs @axerrri @idkwhattonamethis1000 @foelup @rasasvavda @themoonalienhere2000 @catharia-catharsis @catboyjesus @that-jax @xcherriess14 @friend-ofcloud @berryunderscore @xiao-chao @flerpdederp @bugtim3 @kelly339 @pinaplemess1 @ch1och1o @blissmal @saeran-g @gloomdoomraccoon @casey852-blog @oxptify @the-dreaming-city @nadav-ii @simpforgojousatoru

#🎶—oth #🍡—dango-works #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #zhongli x y/n #zhongli x gn!reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x y/n

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archived-kin · 4 years ago

Text

genshin modern au cheat sheet

i’m planning to do more pieces set in this au, so i’ve put together a quick list of the characters i'm planning to write about/include!

there are three main groups here - the zhao family, the ragnvindr family and friends, and the Miscellaneous Pals™

(the next volume in this au is going to be a xiao piece, and that should be up within the next two or so days!)

1. the zhao family

zhongli, 36: history professor at the local uni who also plays the guzheng very well, tea-enjoyer, a very proud and supportive dad who loves his kids more than anything in the universe - probably unironically has so many pictures of them in his wallet

xiao, 23: taking a degree in psychology at the local uni, has a cool motorbike, bit of a control freak, doesn’t like surprises, will drop-kick you if you look at him or his sister funny, wants a cat but his dad’s allergic, never really grew out of his emo phase

yanfei, 19: baby of the family, prodigy lawyer-in-training, far smarter than many people give her credit for, likes building snowmen, has to protect her unsuspecting dad from Evil Salespeople looking to make some extra money

xiao and yanfei are biological siblings, and zhongli adopted them when xiao was 11 and yanfei was 7. the circumstances of this adoption is a mystery that none of the zhao family members seem willing to divulge…

the zhao siblings can have a little bit of tragic backstory. as a treat.

basically they were born into poverty and often went hungry for days on end. biological parents were distant and neglecting (though not actually physically/emotionally abusive - yet.)

when xiao was caught shoplifting bread and fruit from a local grocery store so that he and yanfei could actually eat, both parents went ballistic and kicked him out the house in the middle of one of the coldest winters the town had seen

poor kid was practically freezing to death out there, and yanfei raised such a fuss back in the house that mum slapped her square in the face to get her to shut up, which xiao saw through the window, and he promptly decided that he Was Not Putting Up With This Shit for any longer

immediately went to a neighbour’s house and told them what was going on, neighbours promptly called cps, and an investigation was launched

parents were deemed unsuitable for raising kids and (after a lot of back and forth) the two kids were taken into care

meanwhile zhongli was kind of sad because he had no friends or family in this town and all he really did was write articles, read books, and mark work

then one of his co-workers mentioned hearing about xiao and yanfei’s story and it hit zhongli so hard that he immediately rang up the adoption centre and ended up taking them in

and from then on both yanfei and xiao were very happy and healthy because zhongli was literally the best dad ever and put everything into taking care of them

2. the ragnvindr family (+ friends)

diluc, 29: budding businessman who still works at his dad’s cafe but is looking to open up his own company some time soon, still buys himself juice in those little cartons with the straws, still doesn’t know how raising bread works?? how does it get bigger???

diona, 7: diluc’s adopted daughter who has her father firmly under her thumb, bit of a spitfire but can also be the sweetest kid ever, enjoys making ‘potions’ out of grass and flowers and water (diluc can and will actually drink these potions because his love for his daughter knows no bounds)

kaeya, 25: diluc’s idiot little brother who’s changed majors at least five times and still doesn’t really know what he wants to do, practises fencing and horse riding in his spare time like a nerd, spoils his niece rotten

lisa, 26: the first of kaeya’s three roommates, has a degree in english and could easily have gone on to become a leading scholar but chose to instead open a bookshop that gets way more business than expected because she’s pretty and men and women alike are all simps

albedo, 23: the second of kaeya’s roommates, bit of a genius, has already started his chemistry phd, is almost concerningly pale and exhausted at all times, has not gone a day without breaking one of the cups for at least two years

venti, 21: the third of kaeya’s roommates, studying music, acts way older than he is sometimes but is mostly just a child, asks at least one of his roommates to marry him every day without fail, was and still is both a music and a theatre kid

lisa’s actually the one who owns the roommates’ residence because it’s on top of her bookshop

i was going to keep the whole ragnvindr family trauma thing but i decided that diluc deserved to be happy in at least one au so the brothers are still happy brothers :D

unfortunately that means that i’ve transferred a lot of the family trauma over to diona

essentially her mother died when she was a baby and her father, draff, turned to alcohol to get him through the stress of raising a child alone. unfortunately this led to him drunk driving one day, and he crashed the car into one of the wall’s of diluc’s dad’s cafe.

draff died on impact since he was in the front seat, but three-year-old diona managed to pull through despite her injuries. one thing led to another, diluc ended up taking care of her for a bit while the authorities sorted the whole thing out, but then he got too attached and decided to adopt her permanently

now diona has a dad, three uncles and an aunt who are all willing to shower her with all the love she deserves :’)))))

3. the Miscellaneous Pals™:

xiangling, xingqiu, chongyun, 17: local high school kids, they’re all kind of dating each other, low-key got adopted by xiao at one point, guoba is xiangling’s guinea pig and they all have joint custody over him

barbara, bennett, razor, 17: also local high school kids, also kind of all dating each other (but a lot more tentatively), regulars at diluc’s cafe, almost never seen apart

lumine, aether, ??: they keep showing up here and there around town to climb a tree and just sit there throwing leaves at people on the streets, then disappear. no one knows who the fuck they are

tartaglia, 23: nicknamed childe by his friends, also known as Mr Moneybags, is always just hanging around the local uni campus but doesn’t actually study anything there. his real name is ajax, but he thought that was lame so he gave himself a cool new one

eula, 24: new teacher at the local high school, her father used to be headmaster and was notoriously cruel to his students so everyone’s kind of wary of her, but she’s just really sweet and wants the best for her pupils :(((

amber, 21: number one eula defender, teaches the younger kids at the local primary, likes bunsen burners a little bit too much, still can’t remember how to spell the word necessary

hu tao, 25?: shady local mortician who may or may not practise illegal things, was kind of dating yanfei at some point but zhongli sent her packing as soon as he realised who she was, no one knows what her deal is

xiangling’s already a budding master chef and has received several offers from culinary schools, xingqiu is planning to study literature/language at uni but also might just go straight to trying to get a book published, chongyun is going to continue the family tradition of studying the supernatural with maybe a side job at xiangling’s future restaurant so that he doesn’t end up with no money if he doesn’t get any supernatural work

barbara is planning to go to medical school and also sings/dances in her spare time, bennett still doesn’t know what he wants to do but is considering carpentry among other things, and razor is dead-set on working at either a zoo or an animal shelter when he’s older

tartaglia never leaves the house without at least three pocket knives and a water pistol. he’s never had to use them yet, but you never know...

eula and amber live together and are probably dating but they’ll both just dodge the question if you ask them about it

they’re most definitely together though because on eula’s birthday amber brought her entire class of little kids to say happy birthday and bring her flowers

(incidentally amber is diona’s teacher)

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

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Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is.

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school.

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister.

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive. You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family. If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back.

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted.

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child. She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta.

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade.

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful.

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what?

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is “uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.”

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them??

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know?

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her.

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this.

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling.

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose.

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her.

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now.

#twdg minerva #twdg clementine #twdg sophie #twdg tenn #twdg violet #twdg louis #twdg marlon #twdg lilly #twdg aj #twdg

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cayenne-twilight · 4 years ago

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Professor Layton Iceberg Explanation

As I said in the tags of the original, the iceberg I made was a meme consisting of both real theories and satire/parodies/fandom memes. If anyone is interested, I can work on an unironic version that only has real theories.

Buckle in because this post is LONG and heavily saturated with lore and information.

Actual theories

Parallel universe 1960s where the world wars didn’t happen. There’s an unused file in Curious Village that shows the year as 1960 and the time machine from UF is set to 1973, ten years into the future. The series canonically takes place in an undefined time period (hence the technological inaccuracies and fantasy elements), but it’s based off the 60s. There’s more evidence but we don’t have time to go over every little thing. I linked my “no wars” theory below but TL;DR the outdated airplanes and underdeveloped medicine in the Layton series imply that the world wars may never have happened. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632205992162099200/outofcontextdiscord-timegearremix-zonosils-war

The real meaning behind the statue in Future London. In UF, the purpose of the statue is to spark Layton and Luke’s conversation about their friendship. Luke is stressing out about moving overseas and sees himself and the professor in the story behind the statue, but in the bigger picture, Clive must have been the one to commission it. Some theorize that the little boy is Clive and the man is either his father or the professor. One idea I’ve seen is that Clive wishes he could be Luke for real, while another is that he wishes he died ten years ago, and another is that he’s literally terminally ill explaining why he doesn’t care about consequence. Personally, I think “the boy succumbed to his illness” refers to his mental illness seeing as he wanted the professor to save him from his madness as he saved him all those years ago.

True location of Monte D’Or. there are no deserts on the British isles to my knowledge, so it makes the most sense for Monte D’Or to be in Southwest USA where English is the default language, they have a desert, and there exists a city famous for flashy hotels, casinos, and entertainment. What makes it odd is that nobody ever mentions overseas travel, and all the major characters are from England.

Loosha’s origins are not explicitly explained if I remember correctly, but the implication was that her prehistoric (supposedly) species was sealed away along with the garden, allowing them to survive all the way to the time of LS until Loosha was the only one left. The garden provided a good habitat and protection from predators, and it’s logical that they’d slowly die out anyways, but there’s no explanation of any specific factors that led to Loosha being the last.

Beasley is not a bee I wrote a post about this one as well, but TL;DR Beasly lacks several defining bee traits whilst having several human ones. He is not human, yet, by definition, not a bee. It’s possible that he is the result of Dimitri’s testing, but whatever his untold story is, he remains an enigma of nature. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632381715250282496/theory-beasly-isnt-a-bee

Subject 2’s identity is currently unknown. There is a subject one (parrot) and subject 3 (rabbit) so there has to be a second. For a long time, people suspected Beasly to be him seeing as he’s a bit of an amalgamation and definitely not a regular bee (see above). After the release of LMJ, though, people began to suspect Sherl, the intelligent hound who could speak to certain people but not others. That being said, it’s possible for one to be subject 4. Sherl’s memory of a bright flash matches up with subject 3’s memory of being electrocuted. They never explain why the animals were being experimented on, but it was probably Dimitri making sure the conditions of his machine were safe for humans before reliving the incident from ten years ago.

Lady Violet died from the plague from DB. There’s no evidence for this or anything, it’s just an idea. People say she died from the flu but I don’t remember them saying that in the game, at least the US version. Extending off my “no war” theory: it’s theorized that the Spanish Flu was spread by the travlelling soldiers, so if that’s true, it’s possible for the epidemic to have been averted for some decades. Maybe the Spanish Flu reached England later than in real life. The hole in this is that DB’s plague must’ve been close in time to 1918 while Violet’s death was much later, so it would’ve had to stick around.

Bill Hawks is working with Targent and Arthur Cantabella. There was a force in the shadows buying the time machine technology from Bill. Someone with a ton of money who helped him cover up a freak accident and get away with it completely, a feat that involved shady means like violence by hired thugs. Some theorize that it was Targent, seeking power over time in exchange for a little mafia magic. The Labarynthia project was sponsored by the UK government, so as the PM, Bill must’ve known about it. He probably supported dubiously ethical, high stakes (witch pun) psychological experiments like Cantabella’s and helped him stay in the shadows.

All the NPCs in St. Mystere and Folsense are dead. I make fun of this type of theory later, but they’re admittedly captivating. I’m pretty sure the canon in CV is that the villagers are Bruno and Augustus’s OCs that they made robots of and built a town around, but it’s more interesting to think that the village was there before, and the townspeople died of a plague and were replaced like Lady Violet. In Folsense, there really was a plague and they never explain the NPCs there. They’re either real people who appear way younger than they are due to hallucinations (even the ones who already look old ?), or they don’t exist at all, which is pretty spooky. This part of the story is a gaping plot hole. In a similar vein to CV, the edgy yet plausible theory is that they used to live in Folsense but died of the plague and now live on as hallucinations.

Hershel seeing everything as a puzzle is a coping mechanism for all his trauma. This was a joke but I thought about it for more than five seconds and it makes way too much sense.

Plot holes and unexplained questions that we like to overthink because it’s fun

The downfall of the Azran was vaguely explained in canon by people being so greedy that it lead to the civilization collapsing. It’s not a stretch to imagine that happening, but it would’ve been more interesting with a little more detail.

Layton and Luke are programmed to routinely forget how to walk. I didn’t know whether to list this in the joke section or not, but it’s odd that the characters actively participate in the walking tutorial (as opposed to showing a little memo to the player) as if they didn’t know how to before, especially when they go through this several times a year.

The truth behind Pavel. He’s simply a joke character who teleports, is a polyglot (sort of, at least he wants us to think he is) and is mega confused all the time. He’s a fun character to make crack theories about because of his cryptic nature that even he doesn’t seem to understand.

Miracle Mask deleted scenes. The first trailer for MM featured animations that were not in the final game. One was the Randall falling scene, except in a slightly different style than the one we know. Others were completely foreign, like Layton and Luke pacing across a theatre stage as if Layton’s about to expose someone with a dramatic point. Cut content and “could’ve beens” are always curious to think about.

Evan Barde: secret mastermind. Arianna and Tony’s dad is a mysterious character who died under mysterious circumstances. I think the canon is that his death was a genuine accident, but concept art of him making a creepy evil face suggests that maybe he originally had a larger role in the first drafts of LS than the finished game.

The secret to how Paul and Des pull off their disguises is unclear and will remain unclear. There is no plausible explanation for their shape shifting. Unless Paul is just a little dude wearing a human suit like that one Wizard of Oz species and Des is the best quick-changer ever and hides his naturally feminine legs under his cloak.

Alfendi’s mom. When LBMR came out people scrambled to piece together who Hershel had a kid with, but there’s no way alfendi is his biological son. This happened with Kat as well and her biological parents turned out to be brand new characters, so I’m sure Al will get an adoption backstory if his arc continues, be his parents old major characters or nameless, faceless NPCs.

Granny Riddleton and Stachenscarfen are omnipotent deities. Idk which section this fits best under, but these two characters have some serious power. At first introduction, they’re implied to be robots, but they appear everywhere in later games. They follow the Professor wherever he goes and assist him on his adventures, GR collecting puzzles and housing them by some odd magic, and Stachen teaches you how to walk. They both introduce and supervise the gameplay. By extension, I guess this idea could apply to Albus as well in the prequels. GR and Stachen even had the power to appear in LMJ, something no major character could do. I consider them akin to the velvet room attendants from the Persona games.

Clive’s kill count is a vague subject in the game for the sake of keeping it PG. I don’t know if anyone’s ever mathematically estimated the damage he caused, and I sure don’t want to try, but the game appears to push the idea that he didn’t kill anyone at all, saying they stopped him in the nick of time and things like that, even though we watch him raze the city. If they ever want to bring him back post-time skip, I can see them twisting it so that the mobile fortress cutscene wasn’t a linear sequence of events, but instead a compilation of scenes over the course of hours so that London neighborhoods around him could be evacuated and have it make sense. Knowing Level-5, it’s more likely that they wouldn’t think this deep and do something more lazy, though.

Memes and references

Post-time skip Flora is real references the famous L is real theory from Super Mario 64. Like Luigi in SM64, Flora was also a highly anticipated character who didn’t appear in a new game, in this case LMJ or LMDA. In the end, Luigi did become real in the DS port so hopefully Flora is real will be realized as well.

Hershel can’t read is a veteran fandom meme referring to how in the first few games, especially Curious Village, Layton asks Luke to read every document out loud for him. Perhaps this was an exercise to improve Luke’s reading skills and independent thinking, or perhaps he was just too lazy or preoccupied to do it himself, but this grew into the joke that our genius Professor was actually illiterate this whole time.

Layton’s smash invitation is hidden in PLvsAA. It’s no secret that the fandom would kill a man to get the Professor into the smash brothers franchise. In PLvsAA one of the puzzle artworks features a goat eating a familiar white envelope with a red stamp, sparking the joke that either Layton or Wright got the invitation their respective fans desired, but it got lost along the way.

The science board is the mysteriously vague organization Don Paolo got kicked out of for the crime of being evil. It’s the epitome of liberal arts majors and art school graduates trying to bs their way around not knowing any science and failing miserably. “He was very good at all the sciences, but then the CEO of science told him to stop because he was using the power of science for evil science”. They do this again when “Dr. Stahngun” describes his time machine what with the soolha coils and whatnot.

Hoogland is death cult initiation is a parody of “Mario 64 is Freemason initiation” which is ridiculous, just like the creepy human sacrifice subplot of AL.

You can see the reflection of someone watching you in Aurora’s eye references the famous, creepy Talking Angela theory. In retrospect it would’ve been funnier if I said Angela instead of Aurora.

Every copy of Professor Layton is personalized references the famous “every copy of Super Mario 64 is personalized”

Clive’s fat ass in HD is a meme that originated from the announcement of UFHD, saying that half of the excited fans wanted to cry again while the other half were simply attracted to Clive. If we want to enter real bottom-section-of-the-iceberg-chart territory then let’s say Clive’s character has some sort of psychological siren properties that draw people to him like a magnet and/or Harry Styles.

Things I pulled out of my ass for shits and giggles

Infinite hint coin hack: I’m sure a tech savvy cheater could hack the game for infinite hint coins, but there’s no easy or interesting way. I don’t know why someone would do that though, considering a lot of the hints suck and there are puzzle guides on the internet.

Cringy, unused Randall villain monologue. This joke is derived from the actual scrapped MM content as well as deleted content being a popular element of iceberg charts, but it’s sadly not real. Would’ve been hilarious, though.

Last Specter Puzzle 031: Light Height tracks and records children’s intelligence level. It doesn’t, but it’s always fun to make fun of arguably THE most ridiculously difficult puzzle in the franchise. (Seriously, do they expect 7+ year olds to know trigonometry???)

Hershel struggles with tea addiction. Hershel from the games drinks tea in moderation, but the manga begs to differ. He has a tea set in the Laytonmobile, and an attempt at teatime while driving causes him to crash.

Folsense is a metaphor for Alzheimer’s. This is inspired by those edgy kids’ show theories where everyone’s in hell or something, but nobody has ever said this.

London Life is reality and the plot of the games is all in Luke’s head. That’s one way to fill every plot hole. How funny would it be if Luke made up crazy characters and stories based off his fellow townspeople Sharkboy and Lavagirl style. “This dude who lives in a castle and asks people to give him all their money for nothing in return is a vampire from 50 years ago involved in a tragic love story”.

Secret ending encoded into Tago’s Head Gymnastics. It’d be crazy if there was, and Dimitri would hound Tago for the secret to time travel. If you didn’t know, the Layton games started as an adaption of Akira Tago’s puzzle series, except they decided to add a story to make it more interesting and marketable.

Daily puzzles datamine your DS. I’m bad with technology but is it even possible to datamine a DS??? Idk, but I think my DS lite from 2008 is safe.

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starstruck-shima · 4 years ago

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❄️Kaeya meets a Bunny Girl Senpai❄️

Notes: Kinda crack, references to Kaeya’s backstory, fem reader, heavily based off of/inspired by Bunny Girl Senpai.

“In which Kaeya questions his sanity over a wild bunny girl that only he could see.”

Sometimes, he wonders if he’s finally lost it. After all those years of working in the knights, experiencing the shithole that was his early childhood, and the split that happened between him and the man he still saw as his sworn brother, you’d be pleasantly surprised to see how Kaeya still persevered and became the infamous cavalry captain we all know and love today.

And yet there he was, taking a double take on the sight before him during his rounds around the city. More specifically, the sight in question was that of a girl, just around his age--yet unlike him, who at least considered donning on some type of protective wear (wether it was for the weather or public decency, perhaps both), she opted for a less... conventional outfit. It was the bunny ears that really caught his attention though.

He’s less intrigued by the black leotard, tights, and heels and more interested on who you are and why are you doing this. A wild bunny girl, with a vision strapped onto your collar too... you were most certainly a big deal. Yet why did no one bat an eye at you, or at least your appearance?

“You’re staring.” Those were the first words you said to him, and Kaeya blinks--seeing bunny ears nearly obstruct his vision. You could talk. He’s either imagining things even more or it was a sign that you had a mind of your own. Either way, he’s still a bit taken aback. “Huh, you can still see me.”

“Forgive me, I just couldn’t help but notice you. What brings you to Mondstadt?” He tries to carry on a conversation--a surmise way for him to ease someone into at least spilling a bit of info on them.

Your next answer caught him off guard. “I live here.” That certainly raised his suspicions. He’s been patrolling around Mondstadt for years, to the point where he knows the familiar faces of regulars at the Angel’s Share bar, and even the names and schedules of the knights who guard the city walls. Who exactly were you? Perhaps you were new? But you didn’t look like an outsider either... you felt right at home in Mondstadt.

“I’m (Y/n) (L/n), part of the Knights of Favonius.” His eyes widened a bit at the revelation. You were part of the knights? “Forget what you saw today. Farewell.” Before he could inquire further, you had disappeared right there and then.

Kaeya takes it upon himself to immediately read up on you. Records, testimonies from fellow knights, checking your rank, asking Lisa, he did it all. His findings surprised him even more--not much was known about you, and from what he heard, you’ve barely even showed your face--or rather, not much have actually seen you around. Some can’t even recall your appearance. Yet the records state otherwise. You definitely existed.

And so, Kaeya’s trip down down the rabbit hole had begun. After all, someone had to get to the bottom of this, and frankly, he was pretty much the only one who could, considering the circumstances.

It wasn’t long until you noticed his behavior, and it led to another chance encounter. This time, in front of your house. You knew he would’ve eventually found out in the records, yet you were surprised at his perseverance nonetheless. What was his deal? “Cavalry captain, why are you so persistent?”

He chuckles. “So you do know me.”You roll your eyes a bit. It was nothing, really. He was a huge a name here after all.

When you ask him why he cared for your case so much, he simply responds like it was common sense. You still don’t understand why. ”It’d be bad for me to let you run off on your own, you know? Especially in that.” His eyes gesture onto your clothing. Right, you almost forgot. “Consider it a favor.”

And thus, began your strange friendship with Kaeya.

It started a bit rocky, but as time passed, the two of you started to see past your differences. Petty remarks turned into playful banter, and suspicions were cast aside into genuine fondness--though none of you openly admitted to that.

Kaeya soon learns more of your predicament, after patiently waiting for you to be ready to open up. It started with an incident in your lab--you were testing the limits of elemental reactions, which led to an explosion.

At first, you thought there wouldn’t be any side effects, however, you quickly learned that the opposite was true, when Sucrose came to check up on the noise... yet didn’t notice you in the room. It only got worse from there.

So, you tried to test another theory. People were sure to notice and have a bigger impression of you in their memory if you caught their attention, right? Perhaps by making a huge impression, it’ll trigger a memory--hence causing them to remember. So, you opted for something that would definitely be a sight worth seeing (and remembering, to an extent). That was how you ended up as Mondstadt’s wild bunny girl, hopping around the city as a phenomenon waiting to be seen.

Yet somehow, only one man did. And amidst the time you had to bond, wether it was during a quiet meal in your abode after he helped you in getting groceries, or looking through the library for hints to solve your predicament, Kaeya and you proved to be quite the close pair.

Time was ticking however, and you knew that if Kaeya and you couldn’t find a solution, then sooner or later, you’d be gone for good. Left to be forgotten. A failed experiment.

It was something you never told Kaeya--something you kept hidden in your many papers dedicated in solving your predicament. You kept convincing yourself that it was better this way. He could go back to his knightly duties and continue protecting Mondstadt without an extra burden.

But what you didn’t know was that he found out. It was all adding up, really--the way you started to distance yourself from him, how you began stocking up on food, and the notes he read behind your back when you were away.

...Which meant he also read about the details of your planned experiment to make him lose his memory. And he didn’t like the idea one bit. He’d never abandon you after all you’ve been through. He hates the very idea of such.

So one day, when you asked him to meet you in front of the gates, wearing that same old bunny girl suit for shits and giggles, he knew what he was getting into. He calculated the time you’d finish prepping your little memory loss experiment, and today was the day.

You thought everything was going as planned. Kaeya didn’t once suspect the drink you gave him. Your first mistake. Your second was letting your guard down... as Kaeya had immediately chucked the drink into your lips, forcing you to gulp it down, choking in disbelief. Wait... did you see him spit it out right as he did that?!

“You--” coughing, you look at Kaeya in distraught. “YOU KNEW?!”

But the man merely chuckles, quoting a friend that helped him solve the mystery. Of course, in return, he had to submit a full, detailed report on your entire predicament, but he could care less. Thank you Albedo.“With equal force comes equal reaction.”

“I still don’t get what you mean--” you stiffen, suddenly feeling eyes on you, several people saying your name. Wait... if they remembered your name, could they see you?

“So that was where you ran off to,” You almost cry tears of joy when Albedo actually talks to you, walking alongside Sucrose to where you were situated. “I expect a huge explanation on how all of this happened--” he briefly turns to Kaeya. “--And everything in between.”

Still in the high of euphoria, you don’t notice the cold night air until Sucrose brings you back to reality. “Um... Ms. (Y/n), not to be rude, but... aren’t you cold in that?”

You stiffen, your mind wanting you to slap the blue haired man behind you for laughing hysterically in response. Right, almost forgot about that.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin kaeya #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #genshin impact kaeya #albedo #sucrose #genshin albedo #genshin sucrose #fem reader

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frostfireft · 4 years ago

Note

Can we have more Bickslow headcannons? And maybe Evergreen, Freed, and Lexus too?

Fuck yeah you can! I’m gonna start with a lot of angst and then move into their dynamics as a team. (this got REALLY long but I’m not sorry)

-I gave you all my HC for Freed’s backstory in my last post and mentioned that Freed is the reason that Bickslow and Evergreen joined the guild, so have both their backstories too!

-Bickslow grew up in a travelling circus with several other child performers. It wasn’t exactly a nice environment. There were lots of issues and safety hazards and abuse going on behind the scenes, but they were forced to keep smiling and performing through it all.

-Bickslow was especially targeted by the ringmaster because of his magic allowing him to look into people’s souls. The ringmaster is the one who forced him to wear a helmet when he wasn’t using his ability on the crowd for money.

-Because of that, he only had five friends back then, all children younger than he was, who looked up to him both for his tricks and the fact that no matter how upset he was, he had a smile for them.

-one day the tent caught fire during a practice. Bickslow was the only one to make it out alive.

-but considering all the traumatic events they went through, most of the children kept there weren’t able to move on, and their spirits lingered in the area... Except for the five kids who were most fond of Bickslow. They stayed near him and talked to him all the time, especially once they realized he could see them. You still have a soul as a spirit after all.

-the town he was in began to think he was crazy because he was “talking to the air” all the time, and they would continuously call child services to try and take him to an orphanage. The five spirits however, would warn him before they could, and Bickslow used his years of acrobatics skills to stay away from anyone who tried to move him away from where the circus burned down. It may have been a place of trauma, but there were good memories too, and it’s all he had.

-So the town tried one last gamble. Who better to adopt a child with mysterious magic that Fairy Tail?

-And Makarov, in an attempt to get Laxus to be more social, decided to send him and Freed.

-It went about as well as you’d expect. Laxus tried to fight him while Freed did research on the area and what happened to him.

-Laxus didn’t have as much control over his magic as he thought he did at that age, and Bickslow was kicking his ass before Freed showed up and trapped him so they could talk.

-Freed shared his story with him and offered the same thing Laxus once offered him: a home.

-Bickslow cracked soon after that, and told them everything after Freed started asking questions about the town thinking he’s crazy while they were on the train back to magnolia.

-While many members of Fairy Tail were unnerved by him, those around their age did their best to make him feel at home. Natsu listened to all his stories about the circus and about the five ghosts who followed him, and Bickslow listened to his stories about the dragons.

-Freed used this time to research Seith magic extensively, and he eventually came across the idea of putting the souls into objects. He and Bickslow worked for weeks to figure out how to do it, and the five spirits became his five main “dolls.”

-He of course, asked them if they were okay with being alongside him before putting them inside the tiki dolls, and if he cried when they said there was nowhere else they’d rather be? Well Freed and Laxus weren’t going to tell anyone about it.

-Evergreen was both harder and easier to get back to Fairy Tail.

-Like Freed, She was once a part of the noble class, but under a name she never wants to use again.

-When she gained her eye magic, she accidentally turned her mother to stone, and it was all downhill from there. Her father tried to keep her locked in a room, and it worked for a long time.

-Eventually though, she had decided she’d had enough, and snuck out and ran as far away as she could. She kept a ribbon tied around her eyes any time she had to go into town, and learned how to walk while completely blind. This did some damage to her eyesight after several years of doing it.

-it felt like it was too good to be true. She was free and she did odd little jobs in a town far from her original home to earn money for food. it was all she needed..... Until a child tore the ribbon from her face.

-the second she made eye contact, the little boy turned to stone. There was nothing she could do about it except cover her face up again and run.

-her father, however, had notified several guilds about her disappearance and claimed she was dangerous if left alone, so when stories spread about a homeless child turning a boy to stone, it became their first lead in months.

-there was a lull in fighting missions at the time, and something about her magic intrigued Freed. It was an eye magic like his and Bickslow’s first magics, and they aren’t exactly common. Freed, Laxus, and Bickslow took it upon themselves to take the mission to bring her home.

-She very quickly figured out how to hide herself in the woods and away from people. Freed had to trap the entire area and make it so that eye magics don’t work within his barriers before they could even get close to her. It took almost a month.

-And much to their surprise, she was nothing like what they were expecting. After all, they were supposed to be hunting down a nobleman’s son, not a daughter.

-Bickslow almost immediately asks her about why she ran away, and Ever looks up at him- then panics as she slams her eyes shut- but he doesn’t turn to stone because of Freed’s runes, and he explains as such.

-They have a long conversation about why she ran away, and she tells them everything her father did to her, from being locked in her room to being terrified to tell him she’s his daughter and not his son because of his anger issues.

-They realize then and there they can’t give her back to him, and Freed comes up with the plan to tell him that they didn’t find his son, but rather a random girl with a similar magic, and she can join Fairy Tail instead of staying on the run.

-The only reason she doesn’t agree immediatly is because of her eye magic. She couldn’t control it, and the idea of turning someone to stone again scared her.

-Freed sent Laxus to buy a pair of glasses without a prescription and a nice dress for her to wear, and he etches runes into the glasses to block her eye magic when they’re on.

-She’s sold from that moment on, and the raijinshuu’s friendship is sealed with that secret.

-Laxus helps her chose her name before they get onto the train, and they solidify the story before then too

-Makarov Accepts the story without question, even though they have a sneaking suspicion he knows.

-They become a tight knit group in no time.

-Then they learn about Ivan and all he did to Laxus, and they start to jokingly refer to themselves as the Laxus protection squad. It’s a lot less of a joke when Ivan’s actually around though, and the guild definitely notices. Makarov even starts to officially call them that in some reports.

-No one remembers who suggested the name “raijinshuu,” but they all privately agree it’s dumb. Especially since it insinuates that Laxus is the team leader. Freed’s the captain of their team for a reason.

-Dispite the fact that Bickslow is the tallest of them, both Laxus and Freed are both physically stronger than him. That’s not to say he isn’t strong, but Laxus can carry freakish amounts of weight due to his slayer biology, and Freed does the same due to his demon biology.

-Freed can carry all of them at once. No one knows how.

-Freed puts new runes on Ever’s glasses every time she gets new frames or a new prescription. He knows she doesn’t need it anymore, but she’s always grateful for the option.

-if they share a bed, Freed and Ever cannot sleep next to each other. Their hair tangles together and they’ve only had to make that mistake once.

-Ever and Bickslow are not under any circumstances allowed to cook, Freed can make fancy meals, and Laxus makes homemade stuff that would make your mouth water. He also stress bakes in secret at four am.

-That’s how they always know he’s stressed when he doesn’t tell them. It’s kind of hard to miss 6 batches of cookies that spontaneously appeared overnight

-Freed has an unsharpened rapier that feels like getting hit with a slap bracelet at full speed. Naturally, this is the sword he chases Bickslow with when he pisses him off.

-Laxus likes to pretend he’s one of the smartest members of the guild, but the raijinshuu knows he’s actually kind of a himbo.

-Bickslow is really close friends with Loke, and when he noticed the man was dying slowly, the others comforted him despite not knowing what was going on.

-Bickslow often helps ghosts pass on from the mortal plane.

-Evergreen keeps up with all the latest fashion, but she still considers Freed to be more fashionable. Because of this she always double checks her outfits with him.

-Evergreen’s always the first to sass someone when they’re being rude to her team. It’s earned her her reputation as a “bitch” but she’s far too proud of it to be offended.

-One Laxus was open about his dragon slayer magic, they pushed him to talk to the other slayers to learn about himself and his magic. Freed and Bickslow pushed the hardest though, since they’re friends with Natsu and knew that he would be all too willing to drag Laxus into his little family of dragon slayers.

-Laxus was much happier oncce he accepted that he was more dragon that human anyways, and the more he learned, the happier he was.

-In case it wasn’t clear: mtf Trans!Ever (she/her exclusively), he/they Freed, and wtf is gender, is it a food?” Laxus and Bickslow (any pronouns).

#fairy tail #fairy tail headcanons #bickslow #evergreen fairy tail #Laxus Dreyar #freed justine #the raijinshuu #trans evergreen #enby Freed #Gender ? Laxus #Gender ? Bickslow #it's kinda angsty #but there's som esoft headcanons at the bottom!#I'll do more soft headcanons if anyone wants them #<3 #frost speaks

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roger-that-cap · 4 years ago

Text

meet me in the gardens

summary: y’all know the drill

warnings: reader is sort of bitter/cynical because of circumstances, unedited, two girls bonding as they should

word count: 4.5k

this is part four! all other parts are available on my masterlist!

The first time you met with Natasha in your gardens, you felt like you were committing some sort of heinous crime. You constantly checked over your shoulder to make sure that no one was watching you, to make sure that no one was going to see that you were heading to meet someone, and especially that no one knew who you were meeting.

You were quiet as you rounded the area and saw no one waiting for you, your hopes of meeting with Natasha sparking out with more vigor than they had been sparked with, and before you could make yourself turn around, you sighed and then inhaled, trying to keep your nerves at a minimum. She wasn’t late. She couldn’t be late if she was doing you a favor. Before you could get too far in your thoughts, you heard the soft sound of a footstep coming, a stomp so loud that it almost felt intentional. You turned around and saw Natasha approaching, and for the first time, you saw the woman out of her armor.

It was like you were seeing something illegal, at first. You almost shied away, almost averted your eyes, but then you realized that you just… couldn’t. She was too pretty. She wasn’t delicate kind of pretty, and nor did she try to be or not to be, but she was just gorgeous. The moonlight, once again, was her ally as it worked to make her features pop, and illuminate her already bright eyes. Her lips were curved upwards in a hesitant smile, almost as if she didn’t expect for you to be there, let alone before her. And then it dropped, like she expected you to lose nerve and leave her there. The small sliver of vulnerability in her eyes made you take a small step forward and offer her your own awkward smile.

So, you spoke. “Thank you,” was all you were able to get out, but for the moment, that was enough. You expected her to playfully milk it, to ask you, “for what?”, and have you play some humbling game that was both passive and aggressive and teasing. But all she did was smile softly, as softly as the light was hitting the dew on the grass, and tell you that you didn’t have to thank her.

“Have you tried refuting it?” She asked, her voice a little less soft in the night.

“I told you, it’s useless.” You stood up straighter and walked past her slowly, implying that you wanted to walk with her through your garden. “The High Priest’s word is practically law.”

“The King is fond of you,” Natasha said, and you gave her a look. “If you ask him to challenge it, he will.”

“He may, but I doubt he would think differently than any of the others. They think I should be married. They don’t think that a woman should be in charge of all of the things that I am in charge of.” You kicked a rock. “They think we’re useless.”

“I know.”

“That’s why I looked at you like that, you know,” you blurted, and she narrowed her eyes at you as she tried to understand what you were talking about. “When we first met, do you remember how I stared at you?”

“I thought you were going to turn me away.”

“No, not at all. And I apologize for my rudeness,” you added, and she gave you that curt knight’s nod, the nod that told the receiver of it that everything was fine. That whatever happened could be considered buried. “But I looked at you like that because… I’ve never seen a woman be a knight before. I’ve never seen a woman with rough hands, nor have I ever seen her natural desire of battle be fulfilled. I’ve seen common women get dirty and scoop fertilizer and gain muscles, but never for themselves. Always for the good of the family, the good of the farm. I had muscles on the farm when I was young because I had to, not by choice. But you… you look the way you do and behave the way you do by choice. You chose to be a knight, to be a protector, and to have calloused hands. Unfortunately, I never grew up having choices, but after my husband died, for a while I finally did. But now they’ve left me again, and it’s even worse now that I’ve become a lovesick romantic for the idea of free will.”

You were more than embarrassed by your speech. You had hardly taken breaths throughout it, but miraculously, your words flowed together and you didn’t sound half as nervous as you felt on the inside after finally revealing a pathetic part of yourself. You waited less than patiently for her response as seconds ticked by with just the sounds of feet hitting and leaving the dirt, and the occasional drag of one foot against the ground.

“So, you’re jealous?”

You almost laughed. “Of course that’s what you got from that.”

“And you were a commoner?”

You frowned. You were sure that she had heard it from someone else if not by you. And if not by the sword of someone else’s mouth, you assumed that she could spot another commoner from miles away, beneath all the layers of skirt and manners that you forced yourself to keep. “Of course I was, you can’t tell?”

“Sometimes you use language that isn’t very… noble, but I wouldn’t have guessed that you were a commoner before.” You hummed and nodded to yourself. Your etiquette teachers always told you that your language and the accent that you so desperately tried to hide would be your downfall. That, and the way you used to stare at hot food in the beginning like you had never seen a slab of meat in your life. “You seem like you’ve adapted nicely.”

“I had no choice but to,” you said softly. “I was isolated. If I failed as a wife, there was no one that was going to be able to dig me out of the grave.”

“How did you meet Lord Mirellis?” You made a displeased sound, one that caught her attention. “You don’t have to answer.”

“You owe me a backstory,” was all you said before clearing your throat and continuing to walk, staring at the flowers that you tended to while you spoke. “He saw me while I was working on the farm. I was feeding the pigs, I’ll never forget. He didn't really say much the first time he saw me, just watched and loomed over me like a shadow. I didn’t think much of it at the time besides to give him a curtsy because he was a high lord and I was close to nothing, and then I kept doing my work. I was young, I smelled like mud, and I was feeding pigs from my hand. I never thought twice about the way he looked at me, with his narrowed eyes. I assumed he was looking at me in disgust, like most nobles do to commoners. I didn’t think twice.”

“I went back into my house, a little brick thing, and there he was. I remember curtsying a second time, and my hands shook because the air between him and my father was so thick. I remember feeling something in my bones, feeling that things were about to go terribly wrong. So there I was, standing on the hay doormat with mud up to my knees and straw in my hair, smelling like pigs. And then he asked my father- no- told my father that he wanted to take me to his home and wed me, and that he would have it no other way. My heart stopped there. He told him no, and for a moment, I believed that he would keep refusing, until the lord started giving offers. My heart stopped again, and it died when my father gave me one long look, and then looked at the man in front of him, who was much more powerful, much stronger physically, and able to ruin our family with one stroke of a pen. And then, without even talking to my mother, he told him yes.”

“Oh…” Natasha said, and you nodded your head and sighed, almost like you were recounting another’s boring tale and not your own.

“It felt like before I could even blink, he took me home, here, and married me. It was quick and expensive and I remember wearing a beautiful dress on that day, probably the prettiest dress I had ever seen at that point. It was everything I wanted as a child, because luxury was my first choice, even though it had gone unanswered and unfulfilled. And then I learned that luxury and the prettiest dresses that came with it didn’t mean anything if I didn’t have the choice to go with it. It was hard for me to learn, but I learned. But I didn’t learn to settle with my husband. I warmed his bed because I had to, I held his hand in front of others because I had to, I mingled with his family because I had to and because he kept me from mine. But I was never his, like it said in the vows. And he was never mine.”

“Did you want that?” When there were a few beats of seemingly impenetrable silence, Natasha spoke again. “Did you want a relationship like that?”

You scoffed, but it wasn't mocking, It was a sad sound, a sound that you wished you could have taken back the second it left you. “Not with him,” you scoffed again. “With someone else. As a girl, I always wanted to be married to someone who loved me, and someone I loved just as much. It was my dream, maybe even more than luxury was. I wanted love. Not true love, because everyone knows that doesn’t exist, but I wanted to fall asleep and wake with someone I could actually stand, someone that made me smile. He singlehandedly killed that dream. I don’t think it can ever be revived, but I also didn’t think that it could die a second time in the form of Brock Rumlow.”

“So you don’t like not having a choice, and a part of you is still holding onto the idea that you could find love?”

“I suppose that I said all that to say what you’ve said in a few words.” You admitted softly, looking at your hands that used to have calluses. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Natasha insisted, shaking her head slowly. “I asked for you to tell me. I was honored to get the whole story.”

You scoffed again, covering your arms with your hands as a gentle breeze blew. “You’re… you’re gentle with me.”

“Am I?”

She was. It was something that you thought about, and also tried not to think about. You often caught yourself watching her wield her sword and exercise and walk into the woods only to return hours later, and claim that she was on some soul searching hunt. The look in her eyes was always hungry, always challenging, always looking for something deeper. But there, in the night with you, she looked just as gentle and delicate as the flowers you were both surrounded by.

“You’re so fierce during the day, I see it. And I can see it brewing under your eyes, and I can hear it under your words. You’re not typically like this, are you?”

She waited a minute before she responded. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re not like this usually. It’s in your nature to be … harsh. This isn’t you.”

“It is,” she corrected. “But it’s not the way that most people deserve to see me.”

Your heart constricted. “And I deserve to see you this way?”

“I think you deserve a lot of things.” She answered vaguely, and you stopped your walking to take a look at her and her face of indifference. “I think you deserve more kindness than you receive. I think you never got it to begin with.”

“And you’re trying to make up for lost time?”

“I’m trying to let you know that the world isn’t out to crush your spirit,” she said, sounding slightly exasperated. “You’re so burnt out that you hardly even know it, you know? You’re so tired with the world and the people in it and the wicked ways of both that you don’t even realize that you only have two more inches of rope. You don’t realize that you’re burning both ends of your candle, and it’s horribly tragic. You could be so much happier, if you would just let yourself.”

Your mouth could have been shown shut at that moment. Your eyes were bugging out of your head, and you doubted that they were dry. Her words were nearing desperate, tone past begging. Did she truly care that much? It was so odd. Even odder, was she right?

“Both ends of a candle, huh?” You asked, the visual coming to rest in your mind and you nodded, trying your best to keep it together. “And if I was? What would you have me do?”

“I would have you go and sit alone by yourself, and find what truly makes you happy. The twins would be glad to help you. You don’t have to burn during the daytime when you’ve got a perfectly good sun working. Two of them.” You let out a small chuckle.

She was right. As brutish as she seemed, Natasha was proving herself to be correct over and over again. But your head was starting to pound, and you were close to tears again. You couldn’t let yourself cry in front of her.

Not yet.

“I think I’ll retire,” you said softly, voice flowing as gently as the breeze as you watched her nod her head. “Is there… is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I’ll save my backstory for the next time.”

“Next time,” you repeated, somehow, the words sounded foreign on your tongue. “Okay. I’ll be counting on it by the day,” you said, your voice a little too heavy to be a lighthearted tease, but she indulged you anyway.

“I’m sure you’ll hardly even make it to four.”

§§

Natasha was right, you hadn’t made it to four. Next time came in the form of two nights later, after you had cried your eyes out in your room for two days straight all by yourself, not even allowing Wanda in to come and dress you. Your eyes were puffy and your palms had little crescents indented in them from your nails digging in out of nerves and to distract you from the ache in your chest. The moon had barely finished rising in the sky when you trudged out of your room, gave four knocks on Natasha’s door and hoped that she would take the hint, and then took off towards the gardens.

While you waited, you couldn’t help but to watch the flowers sway in the breeze. The weather was constantly warm yet breezy in your region of the kingdom, and it had always been one of your favorite parts of living in Riverstone. The moonlight changed their colors, made them look somewhat eerie in the night as you waited by yourself for a knight that may or may not show.

“I assumed this was what four knocks were for,” Natasha’s voice mused from behind you, and you didn’t even jump. “I assume you don’t just want to-”

“Can you tell me about yourself?” You interrupted, glancing at her and giving her a dejected look that you didn’t even realize you were wearing. “Please?”

“Um, yeah,” Natasha muttered, and then she cleared her throat. Her blue eyes connected to yours while she started to tell her story. “I grew up in the slums, you know that. Near the castle, in the capitol.” You had assumed that much. “I grew up watching knights, and I realized that was what I wanted to be when I was young. And unfortunately for me, I never stop going after the things that I want.”

“That’s a gift,” you said, and she shook her head.

“It depends on the things that I want. More times than not, it’s a curse.” Her eyes trailed over to a rose that was working on blooming, and then back to you. “Two other kids I grew up with felt the same way, Steve and James, but he always went by “Bucky”. They’re older than me, but it felt like I was always looking out for them. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. They’re knights now, they passed their quests.”

“That’s wonderful,” you said, and she nodded her head.

“They live together now, out in the country about a hundred leagues west of here.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head. “They- they live together?”

Just like that, Natasha’s almost carefree recollection of ehr memories was sliced through with an iron tone and a steely glare as she watched your expression, protecting her lifelong friends that weren’t even there to hear anything you could say. “Something wrong with that?”

“They- they could be killed for that,” you whispered, eyes fixated on her despite how mean she looked in the moment.

“That’s why they live in the country,” she muttered, turning her head away from you, and you could have sworn that she clenched her jaw in what looked like disappointment. “I didn’t think that you were the type to judge that.”

You weren’t. You were actually judged, especially after some people in the beginning of your stay at Riverstone started to believe that you were having an affair with Wanda. You weren’t, and Wanda was simply your best friend, but that didn’t stop you from realizing how harsh the world was. Sexuality was never your concern, seeing as you never had choices to act on whichever way your heart swayed anyway.

But you couldn't deny that you were getting nervous for the way your fickle little heart acted around Natasha.

“I’m not, I promise,” you said, and she gave you a long look. “I just… I just know that people have been hurt because of… the way that they love. It’s not right, but it happens.”

“And you?” Natasha asked, and you furrowed your brows. “Who do you love?” You knew that she wasn’t talking about a specific person. She was talking about sexuality.

Men. I love men. That was what you should have said, something along those lines and something concrete. It should have been something that would have convinced her and yourself that you were in the clear, that you loved the way society wanted you to. But instead, like Natasha always managed to, you opened your mouth and told the truth. “I don't know.”

You looked away before you could see the pure shock flood her face, and then the mask of understanding that collapsed it.

“It doesn’t matter who you love,” she said quietly, almost as if anything louder than a whisper would frighten you back into being reserved. “Only how you do it.”

“I’m not sure that priests feel the same way,” you muttered, and she snorted a bit. The sound coming from a woman both shocked you and made you grin.

“Those same priests abuse children. It’s safe to say that I have no cares for anything they have to say about me and my lifestyle.” You sucked in a breath at that and looked towards her, eyes wide as you waited for her to say something else so terribly true but all you looked over to find was a knowing smile on her face as she looked right back at you, painstakingly gorgeous. Your breathing stopped for a moment.

“And you?” You dared to ask, but your boldness was erased by the way that your voice trembled. She gave you a look that attempted to convince you that she knew nothing of what you were talking about, but the glint in her eyes gave her away. “Your… preference.”

“I hope my lack of answer keeps you up all night,” she said, and she turned her back to you abruptly, starting to walk away. You sputtered until you could find words.

“Wait, what?” You reached out to grab her, warm hand wrapping around the cold skin of her arm, and she turned her head to look at you, face so close that you got nervous. Your eyes drifted downwards, and then back just as quickly. Your heart raced in your chest when you thought about her leaving you behind by yourself in the garden, and then it ached again when you really understood what your panic was about. You didn’t want to be without her, being alone didn’t bother you any other time. “What made you want to be a knight?” You asked out of nowhere, and you saw her face scrunch up. “If it’s not too much to ask to know.”

“I… it’s not much. I didn’t see anything heroic or watch anyone be saved. There was no knight that saved me either, no knight that I looked up to. In fact, I was the one out of the three of us who wanted to be a knight first,” she said, and you leaned forward, almost like it would make her point come faster. “I read a story… you know the one about Sir Yuriel and Lady Selene?”

You blinked. Of course you did. Everyone knew that story. It was a common one that was read to children right before bed, about a time where the crime for falling in love with someone who wasn’t your intended was punishable by death. “The one where they run away from the people trying to kill him together?”

“Yes,” Natasha said, and you furrowed your brows. It was hardly a positive story. It was a story drilled into young minds about the dangers of not doing what they were told to do, and what could happen if they chose to carve their own paths.

“The knight dies at the end,” you pointed out.

“He dies protecting her,” she corrected, but you just shook your head at her.

“Regardless, he died. Why would you want to die?”

“I don’t want to die,” she said, and you waited for the other part of her answer. “I want to do what he did, but better. As bad as I might still seem to you, I’m still a girl. And I want to love someone so much that I would give everything for them, and I want them to love me back enough for them to give up all the riches that Selene did. Just like you.”

You ignored the pang in your chest at her accuracy, and the knowing look in her deep eyes. “Oh, so you’re a liberator? You save women from unfortunate circumstances?”

“More like I just hate seeing things that are blatantly wrong, and I like to fix them.”

“Then you’re in the wrong profession. You should have tried for a king’s associate.”

“The people who are the true menaces listen to swords, not dried ink.” She patted her hip, right where the hilt of her sword would have been if she was in her armor. “I’m right where I need to be.”

“In the middle of the garden of a widower, who cries herself to sleep every night after learning that she’s to be wed again?” You asked, and somehow, despite the severity of your words, there was a teasing lilt to your tone.

“I think we’re both right where we need to be.”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be something? If the stars lined up kindly for a change.” You couldn’t hold back your scoff. “I’d get on my knees and pray for the first time in years.”

Natasha stared at you for a long moment, her eyes calculating something that was completely lost to you as you crossed your arms and looked right back at her, a quiet and tension free challenge hanging in the air between you. “Have you ever even watched the stars to see if they aligned?”

“I don’t have the time or the spirit for that,” you said, a small laugh edging out the hardness in your voice.

“Interesting.”

§§

You had a day full of Pietro, an evening just sitting and talking mindlessly with Wanda, and then you got a sharp round of knocks on your door, and though you had never gotten them before, you knew exactly what they meant.

Natasha was waiting for you, and the sight of her had you nearly choking. She was in a flowy white gown, the material so thin that it could have been a night gown. Her hair that was typically up during the day was down, and the Riverstone breeze was as evident as ever as she stared back at you, either waiting for an action or a few words to come from you. However, the second you opened your mouth, she shook her head.

“Not a word. We’re stargazing tonight.”

The part of you that was beaten into being mature was immediately turned off by the idea. Stargazing was something that you hadn’t done since childhood, and being a child never got you anywhere you needed to be. But the other part of you, the one that had been buried in dust just like your hands from that time had been covered in mud, wanted to do it. It both excited you and terrified you, because not even Wanda could make that part of you surface, not like how it was then.

You knew, without a doubt, that it had everything to do with Natasha Romanoff.

You pretended to debate,but on the inside, you were already giving the stars love-eyes. “Let’s do it, then.”

It lasted for hours. Mostly, the two of you were silent, but that hardly meant that the two of you weren’t bonding. Every so often, she would turn her head to look over at you, and you would ignore the electrifying feeling of her blue eyes on the side of the face, vision fluttering all around your face. And then, you would look at her the same way, studying her like your former etiquette teachers would stare at your sewing and your posture. You found that with her being so close, you couldn’t deprive your eyes of watching her.

But when you weren’t looking at her for your own benefit or looking at her watching you, you were watching the stars. You laid under the arch of the gardens with her, a few petals blocking the way of a few distant stars. It felt… right. It felt natural, with the silence and all, and above anything, it just felt peaceful. You forgot everything that was troubling you within minutes of just lying there next to her. Feeling the warmth of her skin and the security of her being near was worth more than a thousand words, and you found that in that moment, sitting in silence with her and looking at the stars that had screwed you over so terribly was one of the best decisions that you had ever made.

*****

hi guys! hope you liked this installment!! it’s about to be really fluffy and then we’ll get into what i like the most: drama wjjdjjdjdjx

question!!: i have about 13k worth of hades!natasha x persephone!reader in the vault. would you rather me start posting it now or wait for this series to be finished? we’re getting there with this one, ish.

tags! : @teenwonder @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife

#marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #my fics #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #marvel au #lgbtq #lgbt marvel #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov x reader #natasha fluff

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 4 years ago

Text

on bren and feeblemind.

(cw: lots of caleb backstory. self-explanatory, i think?)

this isn’t something i’ve talked about on my blog yet, but since the campaign has begun drawing to a close, i want to make sure i say my piece on the popular theory that bren/caleb was institutionalized because trent ikithon feebleminded him to disable him.

my piece being that it’s exceptionally unlikely he did—at least as a premeditated plan. this kind of theory also falls prey to the exact beliefs ikithon has tried to exploit in caleb.

for our mutual reference, i’ll quote the spell description of feeblemind.

FEEBLEMIND (PHB) 8th level enchantment

Casting time: 1 action Range: 150 feet Components: VSM (a handful of clay, crystal, glass, or mineral spheres) Duration: Instantaneous

You blast the mind of a creature that you can see within range, attempting to shatter its intellect and personality. The target takes 4d6 psychic damage and must make an Intelligence saving throw.

On a failed save, the creature’s Intelligence and Charisma scores become 1. The creature can’t cast spells, activate magic items, understand language, or communicate in any intelligible way. The creature can, however, identify its friends, follow them, and even protect them.

At the end of every 30 days, the creature can repeat its saving throw against this spell. If it succeeds on its saving throw, the spell ends. The spell can also be ended by Greater Restoration, Heal, or Wish.

considering the characteristics described and implied by actors other than ikithon—caleb and astrid prominently—who are not motivated to deceive on ikithon’s behalf, feeblemind is not consistent with caleb’s mental break.

fact the first: when bren broke, he became violent and spellcasted.

when astrid describes the circumstances in which he was taken to the vergessen sanatorium (e89, 1:49:30), she refers to his lashing out as “creat[ing] a lot of sparks everywhere else” and rubs at burn scars across her neck. she says that they had to subdue him because he was too dangerous. all of these statements add up to a bren who was viciously spellcasting at his friends and mentor when he broke down.

this wouldn’t have been possible if he’d been feebleminded. feeblemind explicitly prevents the affected creature from casting spells or activating magic items. in that scenario, the only thing bren would’ve been capable of is throwing hands. from him? not very dangerous at all.

how do we know astrid wasn’t lying or intentionally deceptive? because she (and eadwulf) still cares so much for caleb that she risked her life multiple times to aid him. no one who would give caleb a map to a secret volstrucker vault with her own handwriting on it (e127, 29:29; and 30:57)—or intentionally fail to counterspell him when ikithon could’ve seen her do so—would lie to caleb about ikithon attempting to permanently feeblemind him if she knew.

to preempt the idea that astrid had set the m9 up: it’s very obvious she didn’t, since trent ikithon had clearly had no forewarning of a break-in. he would’ve at least been waiting in the vault, already prepared to subdue them quickly, if he’d known.

so it’s fair to determine that astrid would either be honest to the extent of her knowledge to caleb or make it clear that she couldn’t answer him. since she didn’t imply the latter, we can assume she was being honest. and because of astrid’s competence, it’s highly probable she would’ve noticed if his behavior was symptomatic of feeblemind over the years.

fact the second: bren’s mental condition repeatedly improved and regressed while he was institutionalized.

astrid states this in the same conversation about their subduing him after his breakdown (e89, 1:50:50). considering this with the context of their romantic relationship prior to his breakdown, her genuine care for him, and her rise to power that included accompanying ikithon frequently to the sanatorium (e127, 31:07)—astrid would’ve had the motivation and the opportunities to visit bren in person. she could’ve also kept well-abreast of his condition.

actual times of improvement and decline in the mental state that astrid first observed during his breakdown wouldn’t be consistent with feeblemind. although it reduces the victim’s intelligence score to 1, they still retain thought and their sense of identity without problems.

this is a maintenance of consistency and (relative) reason. feeblemind does not actually damage a person’s basic perception of reality. but the health of bren’s behavior throughout the years was instead very unstable.

fact the third: caleb doesn’t remember anything from the burning of his home up to his healing by the unknown cleric.

in the conversation with astrid in e89, he asks her what happened when he broke and explicitly says, “the last thing i remember is my home” (1:46:58). when he first tells beau and nott about his past, he explains that he doesn’t remember much of what happened to him there (e18, 2:51:54).

beyond the reduction to their intelligence, feeblemind doesn’t affect the victim’s ability to form memories. caleb’s keen mind feat and established narrative element of his eidetic memory would’ve still been present as well. therefore, feeblemind alone can’t explain such a significant, near-empty gap in his memory. he would still remember something.

even the possibility of trent ikithon altering them directly is precluded by the fact that the cleric’s healing removed the alterations to caleb’s memory. if all those years had been magically blocked away, they’d have returned when he was healed of everything else.

fact the fourth: sometimes, people really do just break.

nothing about caleb’s backstory is inconsistent with just... being a person living their life, even a terrible one. he was a young man that believed so zealously in his country and his purpose, abused by a powerful older man, that he did many horrible things and believed they were right. until finally he did something that he couldn’t process and broke down.

there’s two reoccurring, underlying assumptions i’ve noticed behind why this theory seems to be so compelling and popular:

caleb just seems so remorseful and traumatized by his double patricide. there’s no way he would’ve willingly murdered his parents. ikithon must have known and decided to preempt his inevitable betrayal.

everything we know about bren, especially from the horse’s own mouth, suggests that he had been willing (at least up until his mental break) to murder his parents. he was literally an extreme nationalist—a fascist, if you will. he was lawful evil (twitter source). he gratefully executed many “criminals” put in front of him, more than likely by burning them to death based on his ptsd. victims whom we now understand may not have been guilty of anything at all.

he was glad to do what he thought was best for the dwendalian empire, and he truly thought being volstrucker was the correct path. trent ikithon, his abuser, treated him as his favorite (e110, 3:30:58). because he believed.

that fervent faith, in fact, is the key to something like his breakdown in the first place. hearing the dying screams of his parents, bren was forced to confront a violent dissonance between his radical beliefs that condemned traitors (as he believed until the cleric’s healing) and the intuitive horror of murdering his parents that he couldn’t reconcile. this fathomless sense of betrayal is why caleb so deeply despised ikithon and himself.

a young evocation wizard who didn’t want his parents dead would’ve run into that burning house, feebleminded or not. someone magically compelled to set that fire would’ve understood what happened as soon as the charm left him and would definitely remember every detail once the cleric healed him.

caleb is remorseful and traumatized because he willingly murdered his parents. as well as many others.

it can’t be that simple. caleb was institutionalized for eleven years just because his abuser pushed him too far? there must be a more nefarious reason. ikithon even said he basically stored him for later.

putting aside the fact that bren having a breakdown in the way he did makes complete sense for his situation, ikithon’s “claim” that he orchestrated all of caleb’s subsequent years is not only something he never actually says (e110, 3:16:34)—it is a claim that’s patently absurd.

i’ve written meta that discusses this in the past (link here). essentially though, the number of moving pieces and assumptions that would be needed for such a series of events is ridiculously improbable. even assuming that ikithon feebleminded him—so that caleb’s mind would be intact when he ‘woke up’—even assuming that ikithon somehow procured the service of a cleric of the archeart—a banned deity in the empire that would oppose ikithon...

why in the world would he ever reasonably believe that caleb widogast, the man he viciously betrayed and lied to and abused, would do anything to benefit ikithon?

trent ikithon is a mortal man. he has power, yes; enchantment magic, authority, and a history of abuse and manipulation over caleb’s head, yes. but ikithon is a mortal man. not a puppeteer in the sky piloting people’s bodies.

he certainly wouldn’t have led caleb to a whole new family that would change everything about his life for the better. a family that would love him, truly—a family that would help him heal, bear the weight of his guilt, and find a real future waiting for him again instead of a self-destructive end. a family that would fight tooth and nail for caleb’s sake against ikithon.

abusers lie. their biggest lie, the one they always circle back to in the end, is that their victim is unique: that there is something which makes them deserving of abuse, and that their abuser is both right and inescapable.

ikithon is read as honest because he chooses his words carefully and has the self-confidence to believe it. everything he’s claimed about caleb and his past have either been implications that he encouraged others to reach for him or platitudes empty of everything except gaslighting intent.

caleb has escaped. and everything ikithon wants is to convince caleb and his friends that he continues to control caleb’s life, that caleb is special, so he can regain some influence over a man who’s come to command so much power.

the idea that caleb must’ve been feebleminded—that he couldn’t have just had a mental breakdown like so many other prospective volstrucker before miraculously, then strenuously, recovering to create a hopeful future for himself—falls into the trap of validating ikithon’s lies.

trent ikithon didn’t see and believe in caleb’s ‘full potential’ before anyone else did. he didn’t foresee a single ounce of the man’s struggle to put himself back together after what he suffered. caleb was not institutionalized to serve as a toy to one day pull back out of the closet. there was no feeblemind or other secretive plan that could only serve to obfuscate the brutal truth:

ikithon abused a boy until he shattered, and tried to hide the evidence. a crime that he’s committed against countless other children. plain and simple.

so that’s my piece.

caleb widogast—bren ermendrud—was not the victim of a premeditated feeblemind from ikithon, based on the mechanics of the spell. even more importantly, the narrative of his and ikithon’s stories would suffer if he was.

now,

A LOGICAL POSSIBILITY I WON’T DENY.

what if ikithon feebleminded him as a method to subdue him after the breakdown?

this is more or less an alternate theory that’s irrelevant to the points i actually wanted to make. but i want to talk about it anyway because it’s kind of fun.

fact the bonus: bren spent eleven years in the sanatorium.

eleven years is a long time. he would’ve been able to save every 30 days after the initial failed save. the exandrian calendar has about eleven 30-day periods every year. assuming a feeblemind spell cast on him just prior to his institutionalization, that’s somewhere around 121 possible save attempts, give or take a few.

what’s the likelihood of him actually saving? to go through the mechanics:

normally, feeblemind reduces a person’s intelligence score to 1, modifier -5. caleb, as a variant human, possessed the feat keen mind from the beginning both mechanically and story-wise. this would make his intelligence score 2, modifier -4, even after feeblemind.

as a level 1-2 wizard, he would’ve had proficiency in intelligence saves. this would be +2 to his save.

in total, the modifier to bren’s intelligence saves would be -2.

in order to cast feeblemind, trent ikithon would have to have been a minimum level 15 wizard. this leaves two possible proficiency bonuses to determine his spell save dc: +5 or +6.

it’s probably safe to assume that his intelligence score is at least 18–20, likely 20. this would be a modifier of +4 or +5. (his intelligence could be 22+ if matt wanted to be a real dick, but let’s assume otherwise.)

spell save dc = 8 + spellcasting score mod (for wizards, this is intelligence) + proficiency bonus.

this means trent ikithon’s possible spell save dc is somewhere from 17–19.

therefore:

at minimum—17 being ikithon as a level 15–16 wizard with an intelligence score of 18–19 at the time of casting—bren would have to roll a 19 or nat 20 to make the save with his -2 save modifier.

at a dc of 18—ikithon either being level 17–20 or having an intelligence score of 20, but not both—bren would have to roll a nat 20.

at a dc of 19(+), it would be impossible for bren to save without additional bonuses such as bless.

i don’t have the brainpower to calculate some real statistical probabilities, but depending on your opinion of trent ikithon’s probable capabilities at the time of bren’s mental break, he may have been able to save against feeblemind sometime during the eleven years he spent at the sanatorium.

naturally, this has the earlier-mentioned conundrum of remembering that return of clarity once he was healed by the cleric, should ikithon have been retrieved to recast the feeblemind and altered his memories. nevertheless, it may or may not be a fun thought to play around with.

#caleb widogast #trent ikithon #blumendrei #cr #cr meta #critical role #critical role meta #critrole #bren aldric ermendrud #bren ermendrud #abuse cw #mental institution cw #prim post #prim says some things #long post

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 4 years ago

Note

For the “everyone who died is able to wake up” sdra2 au, could you do headcanons of the characters who died reuniting with their s/o who made it to the end? If all the dead characters is too much, you can choose who to do, but if you decide to do Shinji, since he has teenage children, maybe you could include them being there too?

I can do all of them! I think the Void members are the same age outside the simulation so I’ll just leave them at that.

Obvious major spoilers! This took forever to write whew

.........

Yuri

Realizing that you saw each other as high schoolers was quite strange. But now you remembered why Yuri became so attached to you the moment you met on the island.

Everyone who woke up was shook upon seeing how tall and muscular he actually was. But you were just happy to see your boyfriend alive and well.

You tell him everything that’s happened, and he’s understandably bitter about Hajime killing him (you had to distract him with a kiss so he didn’t actually punch him).

In time he decides to forgive the boxer...but only because you asked him to.

He feels guilty about letting Monocrow be used for the killing game. So to ensure his work didn’t hurt anyone else, he destroyed all the data and blueprints associated with the bird.

The simulation reminded you of how short he was back then--and you’d tease him about it often (much to his embarrassment).

Hajime

Wakes up disoriented and confused, until he realizes he’s alive and back in the real world. Though he’s got a bit of a headache.

Then he sees you and smiles. “Were you waiting long?”

“Almost too long, you dumbass.” You just hug him tightly, grateful that his brain wasn’t fried to mush like you feared.

He has genuine regrets about siding with Mikado and offers to let you punch him if you wanted to. But you only give him a kiss and reassure him that’s all in the past.

Despite everything, he manages to joke about being turned into a doll, claiming it could be good merchandise to sell in the future. Though for now you both just wanna go home and recuperate from what happened.

Yep, he’s still got his healthy habits so he’ll be sure to take care of himself (and you, of course, since your mental health is just as important as your physical health).

Kokoro

Has the most nonchalant reaction.

She feels unusually cold, but quickly claims it’s just an “after-effect” of the death she experienced in the program.

If anyone else was her s/o, they would’ve been angry and confused at her neutral reaction. But you’ve known her long enough to know she’s like this all the time.

So you just smile and welcome her back, telling her you survived--like her younger self anticipated.

With both versions of Mikado gone, she isn’t exactly sure where to go with her research from here. But you convinced her to take a long break from her work.

She thought you’d be angry or at least disappointed that she contributed to the simulation’s creation, but you aren’t.

You didn’t have the heart to hate her, even though before that you resented her for using her daughter for human experiments.

Emma

Surprisingly calm...at first. She just acts like she woke up from a nap, relieved “this bad dream” was finally over.

But then she sees her hands--realizing she’s whole again and not some disgusting mess of flesh trapped in limbo--as you hold them and smile softly at her. “Welcome back to the land of the living, darling.”

Everything hits her all at once, and before you knew it, she was hugging you tightly and sobbing into your chest as she apologized for everything she did.

She was scared she’d never see you again, worrying if you’d survive to the end (imagine her relief when you did).

You spend a bit of time comforting her, rubbing her back and reassuring her she was finally free of Mikado’s influence.

You’re close to tears yourself--seeing her slaughtered by horror movie monsters was a grim execution you wouldn’t forget easily.

And after coming home that’s one movie genre you both avoid for a while.

Setsuka

She wakes up feeling disappointed and some back/joint pain that she didn’t see through her mission till the end, but she’s happy to be back with you.

You practically throw yourself into her arms, relieved she was whole again and not just limbs scattered across a haunted house attraction.

If you decide to tell her about the circumstances regarding her death, she might be quite unnerved, at first, though she doesn’t resent Hibiki once you mention how she was basically a puppet during that time.

Her quick forgiveness would’ve been surprising, but you only expected that from her and just smile, giving her a kiss.

“You’re taking a few days off of work. I don’t care what Tsurugi says--you need it.”

“Alright, alright..fair enough...by the way, I’m still as cute as I was back then, right?” She chuckles.

Yep, that’s your sweetheart of a former billiards player alright.

Hibiki/Kanade

(I hc that Kanade’s serial killer backstory was all fabricated, and her obsession over Hibiki isn’t as extreme irl, but she still has some overprotectiveness).

When the twins wake up at the same time, they...honestly aren’t sure what to say to you--or each other for that matter.

Kanade was staring off into space, fully aware of the horrible things she said and did. Meanwhile Hibiki looked ready to yell at her as soon as she spoke. And you were just watching them nervously.

But then you’re surprised when the younger sister reaches over to hug you, starting to cry and apologize for everything. She could never see herself doing any of those things in real life...but she doesn’t expect any forgiveness right away.

To her shock, you forgave her--knowing that the Kanade in that simulation wasn’t your sweet and shy sweetheart. The real one you’ve known since forever was right here, feeling truly remorseful for things she never did.

It’s not long before Hibiki burst into tears too and oops now both of them are crying into your arms.

But you didn’t care. What mattered was that the nightmare was finally over.

Shinji

Your teenage kids were brought to the location of the pods by the KF (as other living relatives of the kidnapped participants were), and they anxiously waited for you and Shinji to awaken.

The relief and joy you felt upon seeing their smiling, tearful faces was immensurable as they practically tackle-hugged you. But when they ask about their father, you decide they’re mature enough to know what happened--and so you explain that he made a sacrifice to protect everyone, including you.

They promise to wait for him, as they did for you...and man is that wait worth it when he awakens to see his beloved family.

It’s a very, very tearful reunion, but it was especially overwhelming for you, considering you still have the image of your husband’s burnt corpse fresh in your mind.

Shinji’s optimism never wavers, even after everything. He points out that the way you two have interacted in the simulation was similar to how you both met in real life during high school (minus the killings, of course).

You regrettably tell him what became of Yuki, but he just hopes the kid’s doing alright, wherever he may be.

Nikei

The moment he wakes up, he takes a few seconds to register three things: he’s alive, you’re alive, and his right hand is back.

But before you can ask him how he’s feeling, a billion and one questions fly out of his mouth.

“Is it all over?? Is Mikado gone?!! What about Utsuro--??"

You do your best to calm him down and catch him up to speed, reassuring him Mikado is gone and won’t hurt him ever again.

Though now that he sees everyone alive and well--including Shinji and Void--he feels tense and awkward, wondering what the future holds now. But you take his right hand to divert his attention back to you.

He gets pretty choked up, realizing that he’s finally free and isn’t doomed forever and can actually go home with you. You just smile and hug him, repeating those reassurances.

Considering his breakdown in the trial where he got executed, you decide you’ll have a long chat about his insecurities when you two get home--with him being the interviewee.

Teruya

Rei and Tsurugi are with you when Teruya finally awakens. Though before he can even properly get out of the pod, you throw your arms around him and he doesn’t hesitate to embrace you back.

He’s already in tears himself, relieved when you tell him you survived.

“That’s good..I’m..I-I’m glad you made it out.”

“I would’ve liked to make it out with you, too, idiot.” You huff, remembering how he refused the antidote you tried giving him for the poison.

He told you why he needed to die so you could escape with everyone. And it hurt him a lot to do that, but you forgive him..though only if he promises to never make a stupid sacrifice like that again.

You decide to leave out how you almost got executed by an incorrect vote. For a while you thought you could never avenge your boyfriend, but with Mikado finally gone..you were now satisfied.

He’ll need a few days off of work after what he’s been through. You already chewed out Tsurugi for calling Teruya a “diversion”, so he begrudgingly allows it.

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