#hot take. i dont think that actually good for you

[eicsferrari]

never met - op81 smau

summary: people start making up rumors about oscar and yn. problem is they never actually met

face claim: random girls from pinterest

a/n: this is chaos but it was fun to write hope you like it

masterlist

જ ♡ જ

gossipf1 singer yn and oscar piastri are reported to be dating according to inside sources

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user5 please let this be true

lando rue, when did this happen?

user14 helppp what is lando doing here

user3 my two worlds colliding

user7 she's not good enough for him

user8 ?? he's not good enough for her

yn inside sources who??? i never saw this man in my life😭😭

user10 he's a formula 1 driver

yn oh i only know lewis hamilton aka the goat aka the loml

user10 fair

yn he looks cute tho👀

sabrinacarpenter no yn!

yn 😊😊

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yn posted a story

caption: this is the man yall think i pulled? Damn thank u

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↪sabrinacarpenter you are insane😭

↪lando +61 12345678 text him

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yn jazzy nights are my favorite

♡liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

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user6 best night of my life

sabrinacarpenter i'm in love with you😍

yn me when i see you

user1 oscar liked...

user4 don't start

user1 i just stated a fact

user9 obsessed with your voice, i want you to sing me to sleep every night

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gossipf1 yn and oscar spotted hanging out after her concert

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user8 i fear this couple would be too iconic

user4 just... no

user5 i dont know this man my ass

yn in my defense i really haven't met him then!

lando it's true i can confirm

lando i can also confirm yn was oscar's most listened artist last year

oscarpiastri why are you here?

lando gossip is my bat signal

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yn trip made it out of the groupchat

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lando groupchat and it's only two people

yn get off my comments

lando i got you his number and this is how you repay me?

user9 lando tell us who it is🙏🏼

user3 if lando set them up it has to be oscar

user7 i'm in love with her aesthetic

user5 white shirt=oscar

user14 stop we don't know

sabrinacarpenter did my invite get lost in the mail?🤨

yn babe i'm sorry he means nothing you are the love of my life

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oscarpiastri posted a story

caption good company yn

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↪user4 gossipf1 ended up setting you two up huh

↪sabrinacarpenter i remember when i was the one taking her pictures...💔

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yn sorry osc i go where lewis goes🏎️

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oscarpiastri 😐

user4 osc🥺🥺

scuderiaferrari everyone is a ferrari fan ♡liked by author

francocolapinto hamilton fan first, a girlfriend second. i respect that

user5 did he just confirm that they are girlfriend and boyfriend?

mclaren 💔

yn sorry😔

charles_leclerc i approve son oscarpiastri

yn forza ferrari!

user26 we lost her to a sports guy...

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oscarpiastri posted a story

caption prettiest girl is in fact my girlfriend

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↪yn giggling blushing throwing up kicking my feet🥺🫶🏼

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yn posted a story

caption he's still mad i did not wear orange

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↪lando it's papaya not orange😡

yn same fucking thing

lando it's not !!

yn ok but the word papaya is so ugly

lando YOU TAKE THAT BACK

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yn the rumors are now true, i'm his favorite artist and he's my (second) favorite driver

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user18 she's gorgeous😍 he's just there😐

francocolapinto yes yes you might kiss but did he ever say he wanted to learn your language just to understand your jokes? i don't think so

yn call me when you are his top artist on spotify loser

user12 don't mind me i'm just patiently waiting for the love songs this will inspire

oscarpiastri you are never going to let me live this down, right?

yn you are stuck with me and my bad jokes sorry bro

sabrinacarpenter just remember she was mine first papaya boy

oscarpiastri noted🫡

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oscarpiastri she finally wore papaya

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user2 she's so hot🥵

yn not that word again😭

lando i will block you if you keep hating on the papaya

yn do it i dare you

yn i look so good tho

oscarpiastri you always look amazing

yn i love me a boy who can sweet talk

lando god stop being cheesy on main🤢

yn weren't you going to block me??

lando i should have

yn just do it you coward

user23 yes yn put the car guy in his place!

lando why are you supporting her when your page is dedicated to me??? are you a fan or a hater?

user23 i'm your biggest fan! but i support women's rights and women's wrongs so i'm with yn

yn HA even your fans like me better😛

lando you stole my teammate and now my fans what else do you want from me😭😭

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lando posted a story

caption disgusting

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↪yn disgustingly cute yes

lando whatever helps you sleep at night

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oscarpiastri posted a story

caption dont let their online banter fool you, they are friends

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↪yn babe don't expose us like that😔

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oscarpiastri 🧡

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yn DELETE what if lewis sees this?

user21 she's so real

lewishamilton i feel betrayed

yn nooo💔😔 you will always be n1 in my heart

oscarpiastri 😐

yn deal with it

yn i am so incredibly proud of you and i love supporting you🥺🧡

oscarpiastri thank you for being here<3

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yn posted a story

caption i'm going to tell my kids this is their dad

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yn posted a story

caption just kidding, i love you oscar

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↪ oscarpiastri i love you more❤️

[darlingdaisyfarm]

Listen I’m going insane from how you write Stan and been rereading your spicy chatting headcanons and…. Am I too greedy if I’ll ask for sex call with him?? 🥲

when the pervy old man meets his match

tags: smut, nsfw, fem reader, phone sex, competitive dirty talk, established relationship, reader is just as much of a menace as Stan

hey honey thank you so much! here it is! it's honestly just full of dialogues lmao. sorry i wrote this in a depraved frenzy and did not look back. if there are mistakes, pretend you don’t see them. if it’s too filthy, no it’s not<3 mb I'll correct it later

your phone rings and it's midnight. a little devilish smile appears on your lips. you know exactly who it is.

“finally,” you purr, picking up. “was wondering how long it’d take for you to crack, old man.”

“tch. crack?” Stan scoffs. “sweetheart, i was givin' you a chance to call first. figured you’d get too desperate to wait.”

you smirk, rolling onto your back. ”oh, is that what you think?”

“i know it.” he laughs. “ain’t had my hands on ya in three whole days. bet you’re losin’ your goddamn mind over it.”

cocky bastard.

“hmm,” you hum in amusement. “who said i haven’t had my hands on myself instead?”

“heh, sure, doll, then you just laid there all frustrated, wishin’ it was me instead of your hand.”

“oh, no, Stan,” you interrupt innocently. “i came.” he stops breathing. “mm, and it felt so good, too, made such a mess. you would’ve loved it.”

Stanley goes silent. oh, you’ve got him now. “. . . the fuck’d you just say?”

you stretch out on the bed, imagining the look on his face. jaw tight. eyes dark. grip white-knuckling his phone.

“you heard me,” you coo. “been keeping myself nice and satisfied while you’re gone.”

a lie. a blatant, filthy lie. of course you want him. but you won’t say that. not yet.

“what’s the matter?” you murmur, teasing. “dont tell me. . . you jealous of my fingers?”

Stan lets out a harsh breath. “yeah, actually,” he growls. “bet they don’t even get the job done right and you still finish all needy and desperate, just wishin’ it was my cock instead.”

fuck. your breath hitches slightly, so tiny, but Stan hears it.

“. . . ohhh, that gotcha, huh?” his voice dips, turning low. “ya can play all confident, sweetheart, act like ya ain’t fuckin’ sufferin’ without me, like ya ain’t practically drippin’ just hearin’ my voice—“

you swallow. hard. your smile fades from your confident face

“but we both know the truth, don’t we?”

no, you don't give up. “you sound real worked up, Stanley. do you need me to take care of it for you?”

a sharp inhale from the other end. “heh,” he grits out. “you wish.”

“yeah, sounds like you’re getting all hot and bothered over there. you’re already touching yourself, huh? couldn’t help it?”

“hah,” Stan scoffs, but his voice sounds weaker now. oh, you’re winning.

“c’mon, baby,” you whisper in a honey-sweet voice. “tell me. are you hard?”

he exhales through his teeth. “maybe.”

“aw, poor Stanley, been away from me too long, huh? you must be so worked up, all desperate and aching. . .”

Stan grins. “sweetheart, i’m a grown-ass man. i ain’t desperate for anything.”

you pause long enough to make his skin prickle. then softly and slowly you say quietly “so you’re not hard right now?”

fuck. his body betrays him instantly. because, obviously he is. painfully so. has been since the second he heard your voice, if he’s being honest. but like hell is he gonna admit that to you.

“nah,” he lies too quickly.

you giggle. “liar.”

“shut up,” he mutters.

“sorry, Stanley, i cant shut up, thinking about how i’d drop to my knees for you, pull your pants down real slow, press my tongue right up against that thick cock and—”

“oh, for fuck’s sake—“

“you’d be so sensitive, all needy and throbbing for me. i could get you begging in five minutes.”

“like hell you could!”

your laugh is pure evil. “oh, really?” Stan knows that tone, he’s in trouble. “wanna prove it, old man?”

Stan grits his teeth. “you little minx,” he growls. “fine. you wanna play? we play. wanna know what i think?” your stomach tightens, you're so not ready to hear that. but it's so damn sexy when he gets like that. “i know you’re sittin’ there all wet and needy, waitin’ for me to take over.”

your breath catches as your fingers start moving faster.

“aww, see? can hear it in your breath, baby. you love lettin’ me take control, huh? love bein’ my little plaything?”

you grip the sheets.

“y’think about my cock, huh?” that bastard teases. ”you ache for it and dream about me splittin’ you open, fuckin’ you deep ‘til you cry.”

your thighs press together as you try to bring yourself to orgasm while he talks.

“tell me, baby, what’s your favorite way for me to fuck ya?”

you stop for a second, breathing. “. . .i dunno, you tell me.”

Stan groans and laughs. “that’s what i thought. you like it every way i give it to ya. you like gettin’ thrown around, pinned down, bent over. like when i take my time, when i tease, when i make you beg for it. like when i spread your legs and fuck ya slow, so deep your little cunt flutters around me, just tryin’ to suck me in.”

you let out a quiet sob, rubbing your clit harder. shit. okay. he came prepared.

“remember the last time i had ya?” fuck. he's dirty for this. “spread ya out on the kitchen table, pushed those pretty little legs open, had ya beggin' for my cock while i just tapped it against that messy little cunt.”

heat spikes through your belly. your brain melting

“and you were so fuckin’ wet, so messy for me. couldn't even hold still. had to pin ya down, keep ya in place, make ya take it nice and deep. and god, the way ya screamed when i finally gave it to ya,” he groans, pumping his twitching cock. “cried so pretty for me, took every single inch like a good fuckin’ girl.”

you exhale.

“aw, babyy,” Stan mocks. “gettin’ all squirmy over there? miss me poundin’ that tight little cunt open? miss feelin’ my cock knockin’ up against your cervix?”

oh, this bastard. he knows exactly what he’s doing. knows how to talk you into a goddamn frenzy, how to drag you through every memory, making you feel it all over again. but you won’t let him win.

“eh, big talk for a man who passed out immediately after a blowjob.”

Stan huffs.

“it's just,” you muse. “i think i might need to find someone who can actually keep up with me.”

“sweetheart,” he growls. “don't fuckin' start with me.”

you grin. “what, old man? afraid someone else could fuck me better?”

“honestly, you're such a fucking brat.” he mutters resentfully.

“and you're all alone, jerking off to the thought of me like some pathetic old pervert.”

Stan groans and that sound makes you clench around nothing.

“hehe, you stroking it, old man? pumping that fat cock real slow, thinkin’ about how tight my pussy is?”

his eyes widen. wow. . . you're too brave today. he likes that. “sweet moses,” you hear him groaning.

“tell me, baby, am i right? it's throbbing? just begging to be buried inside me?”

“fuckin’ hell,” Stan hisses. “fuck, f-fuck, shit. . .”

wide cocky smile appears on your face. oh you love this. love how you can hear the tension in his breath, imagining how he’s gripping himself too tight, trying to hold on, trying not to lose.

but he’s gonna. he’s so gonna.

“y’know what i was thinking about earlier?” you murmur.

Stan swallows. “wh-what?”

you grin. “how deep you get when you fuck me.” Stan's response is low whimper when he circles his leaking tip with his fingers. “no, seriously, you stretch me so wide, Stanley. get all the way up against my cervix, push me down into the mattress, just ruining me. i love hearing your groans when i bite your shoulder.”

his breathing is much heavier now, he's already so close.

“Stanley? you close?“

“y-you’re gonna fuckin’ regret this,” he grits out.

“what’s wrong, old man? you were all big and bad a second ago. now ya can’t even keep up? i know how bad you want it, how much you miss the way i take you so deep, so tight”

Stanley is so fucking close.

“you’re leaking, huh? and you’re still trying to hold back,” another mocking sympathy from you. “so stubborn, determined not to let me win. guess i’ll just have to break you, then. oh yeah,” you laugh when you hear another moan from him. “that gotcha, huh? i know you’d love that, you’d love me getting on top, riding you all slow and deep, keeping you right on the edge ‘till you’re begging me for it, begging me to let you cum inside of me.”

“f-fuck, baby, just. . . just like that,” his voice is shaking.

“you gonna cum, Stan? gonna make a mess all over yourself just from hearing my voice?”

“you—fuck—you little—”

suddenly his phone vibrates with a notification. you just sent him a photo.

he barely has time to open it before he sees you, spread out as you fuck yourself open on your fingers.

Stan sucks in a sharp breath. “what. . . the fuck”

“somethin’ wrong?” you coo.

silence, hes silent until you hear choked loud “oh oh oh, fuckkk” and you know he lost, so fucking hard. his orgasm hits hard, violent, brain-melting, his body tensing, groaning your name through gritted teeth. you hear the sharp inhale, the shaky breath, the low, drawn-out moan as he spills messy over his fist.

“awww, couldn’t hold out, huh?”

Stan pants, breathless. “fuck you.”

“you wish,” you smirk, giggling.

“okay okay. you won.” Stanley admits, rubbing his sweaty forehead. “you won, baby.”

“but you put up a good fight, old man!”

he groans. “hot belgian waffles, what the hell am i gonna do with you?”

“maybe bend me over the second you get home and teach me a lesson?”

Stan chuckles. “oh, sweetheart, you have no idea what you just signed up for.”

[buckdiazlafd]

Thoughts on Vampire!Eddie ??? (I'm a little bit in love w the idea rn)

at first he didn’t want to tell buck. he was being all cagey and repressed about it. but buck kinda figured it out, put some of the pieces together. he’s not dumb. and so eddie confessed one night while they sat on his couch.

buck: do you like… need to drink blood? everyday?

eddie: well..ideally yeah but. it’s not like in the movies. we can eat regular food, we can drink animal blood it’s just. not…

buck: it’s like junk food vs organic? lol

eddie (relieved that bucks still buck. not freaked out. not looking at him like something to be scared of): yeah. lol yeah basically

buck: well… you could always. i mean. if i get a paper cut . maybe you could..

eddie: no! no way. no i would never do that. besides once. once I taste it it’s harder to. to go back to..

Eddie gets a vampire cold. nothing serious but especially since he doesn’t get human blood daily he can’t fight it off as easy. so he feels like shit. bucks in the kitchen chopping vegetables to put in his soup even though.. he’s not even sure it’ll even help but. anyone, vampire or not, likes warm soup when they’re sick. eddie shuffles in asks if he can help in anyway, buck ofc says no but that eddies bedhead is hot even when sick and he doesn’t know how eddie can look that good even with a cold. eddie blushes. not. in a human way but in an eddie way that buck loves. small smile, little head shake that says omg shut up but also. keep talking. it’s all very mundane despite the vampire sized elephant in the room until.

“shit”

buck cuts himself. dropping the knife he holds up his pointer finger. warm red already dripping down the side of it. realization hits buck and he looks up at eddie who looks. frozen in place. no not frozen. restrained. hungry. like it’s taking all the resolve in his weakened body to stay in that spot. he also looks. ashamed. which buck hates the most. eddie should never be ashamed of how he was made. of who he is. bc buck loves him. he would give eddie anything. all of him. what’s mine is yours eddie he had said once. and he meant it.

buck takes a step forward.

“Buck dont” eddie holds his hand out.

“eddie… it’s okay.. i want.. i want to help you feel better i want to help you.”

“buck..” eddie closes his eyes, gathers himself. when he opens them again bucks rounded the kitchen island is now in front of him. he holds out his finger, an offering. if you want this, if you want me, you can take it. use it in whatever way you need.

eddie pauses. stares. then, as if he’s made some sort of silent decision with himself, gently takes bucks hand. buck feels like he can’t breathe. eddie brings it up to his mouth. places the lightest gentlest kiss just above the cut, (which is already starting to coagulate. it wasn’t deep.) and grabs a paper towel off the counter, wraps bucks finger, holds bucks injured hand in both of his and w a small smile, voice rough from the intensity, says, “the soup smells delicious buck, i can’t wait to try it.” he gives bucks hand one last squeeze before letting it go. buck feels slightly shaken. almost like after a close call at work. but eddie looks steady, sure, not fighting himself like earlier. so buck takes a breath. exhales. smiles and says “it Does smell delicious doesn’t it” and eddie laughs. it’s beautiful. grounds buck. settles that nervous energy. “see? ok cowboy, I’ll grab the bowls and then you meet me on the couch. we’ll start a movie.”

buck nods, tends to his finger the old fashioned way, not by your vampire bf sucking the blood out of it, he thinks slightly dejectedly, and puts the finishing touches on the soup.

eddies grabbing the bowls and utensils. but buck. bucks been looking at him bc. actually. eddie had the smallest drop of bucks blood on his bottom lip. from the kiss. he wasn’t even sure if eddie noticed it. Bucks attention is half on the stove but still on eddie. always on eddie. and before eddie heads to the living room, eddie takes a quick glance at buck, sees if he’s looking. bucks perfected the act of obliviousness, so eddie, thinking he’s free from bucks gaze, tentatively and gently brings his finger up to his bottom lip. swipes. and tastes. like when you’re taste testing a dish. small, delicate, efficient. but eddie? he savors. allows himself the quickest of indulgences. closes his eyes. breathes in deep. takes one last glance at buck, making sure he wasn’t caught. and heads into the living room. buck smiles, he’s stirring the soup but he’s not even there right now. he’s on eddies bottom lip, on the pad of his finger. On the tip of his tongue., He feels a rush go through him. electric like lighting. maybe tonight’s not the night. he doesn’t know when it will happen, but somehow he’s going to let eddie know. this isn’t just for eddies sake. this isn’t buck just offering up his body his blood in order to find some absolution, some salvation. buck wants this just as much as eddie needs it. he thrums with this resolution. ladles out the soup. and heads into the living room.

[gooboogy]

u shouldnt listen to people who tell you that it's good to be somewhat inconsolably miserable and hurting a lot so you can push yourself to do things to take care of yourself. every single therapist (and physical therapist) I've seen has told me the same thing: baby steps. take fucking baby steps. small achievable goals. if someone is telling you that it's good for you to suffer a lot and push through it they're probably [redacted] lol. if you are wanting to befriend yourself, a friend wouldn't want you to be suffering so much for them, truly

[midnightclover]

puts bocchi under ur pillow

What's that I see?

My, my. How did such a cute little thing get in here?

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

[obliqueletterkennyreference]

i think what bothers me about zukka is it just feels like such a reach. it feels like a crackship that everyone treats like its not and it's everywhere. like yeah they have some interesting parallels and some funny ship-bait moments in the show, but otherwise they dont really... interact meaningfully... at all...

[tommygotwrittenoff]

okay buck would definitely be like hey eddie let's spar together and eddie would be like okay!! sparring is so much fun!! and so they would go to a gym after their shift and spar and it would be Fine for about 5 minutes. before buck realizes he's in over his head and his size is Not an advantage with eddie because eddie is able to pin him down no matter what buck does. and buck would be so horny and frustrated the entire time and eddie would be confused because I thought you could fight buck??? why are you giving up once I pin your hands down??? and buck would try to be all ha ha I guess I can't compete against a former street fighter while actively trying to hide his erection

[doctorwhoisadhd]

also another reason i play picc despite it causing my migraines is because i can use it to win arguments. Like any other instrument you have no right to complain about piccolo being "too high" when i am playing it and it gives ME migraines. like. ok coward. what do u even have to complain about

[fivefeetfangirl]

convention money is crazy. i wish i could make that kind of cash just from taking pics with people and signing my name on shit. lord what misha and jensen made in two days would feed and house me for a decade easy. madness. i bet they got free food all weekend too. fuck my entire life aint worth $250k. i could literally sell everything i own, a kidney and my ass to a dozen dudes and still be 90% short of what misha and jensen made this past weekend.

you and me nonny, you and me 😔

personally im good. i dont need their money. i'll wear my wool sweater and wool socks and keep warm etc etc but it just feels so unrealistic sometimes. like they really do be living such a completely different life than most of their fans. thinking about con prices and such really is crazy. im not gonna come on here and say they should do this and this with their money but i do hope they do feel some resposibility to do something useful with it

[fiendishartist2]

stop blazing your (wrong) personal opinions about analogue horror. no one cares

[freebooter4ever]

ignoring everybody in my phone, sorry not sorry ;_;

[skrunksthatwunk]

1 and 17 for the ask game :]

1. hmmm i think akiyama tbh? i feel like people boil him down to shweepy lil malewife (and I'm guilty of this too) a little too often when he's literally a loan shark who makes desperate people jump through bizarre reality tv bullshit to get help from him, stuff that's kinda unnecessary when he's got scrooge mcduck money. it's literally his main shtick as the lifeline of kamurocho. i think he's fundamentally meritocratic and odd and also he was volunteered to kill a guy so kiryu didn't have to which is just. he's down to kill ok you random civilian you. and i think it should be explored more!! i don't think that i have a great grasp on his character but i feel like he's more sleazy and cold and weird and maybe even shallow than people make him out to be? let him be morally gray. if you love him love him anyway, those bits included, yeah?

17. i am SHOCKED there is not more haruka-centric content??? like stuff from her perspective, about her life, exploring her experiences and feelings, etc. she's a pretty important character and yeah she's like young and whatever but that's OUR girl y'know. she's our sweetie pie give her the spotlight. doesn't even have to be fluffy either go make her be angsty and/or evil idk. i think ppl wanna focus on kiryu in their interactions and i get that bc i love kiryu being a father stuff but she's a person too is all. also saejima is quite important and he's barely in short form content??? he gets more attention in fics but no one wants to draw him. are you scared of his big bald head???? well I'm not. should go draw him he's funny

[arosebyan0thername]

You mean t*ylor sw*ft didn't win artist of the year for "sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby"?

[non-binary-lil-star]

I'm so so sorry, like genuinely, but I think an anthill has better democracy than the United States.

People are getting really really fascist about peaceful protesters and it’s getting scary lol

[autism-corner]

nvm