#You have no choice but to wait until i have enough sleep for this episode to pass

[als-basement]

hghhhhhn-

Words. Can. Not. Express. How. Much. I. LOVE. This

Congrats you have gotten me all giddy and smiling like an idiot

might be the expressions-

-no, definitely the expressions

They got me good- oh they got me good

ughhhhhh me and my yaoi-ridden, sleep-deprived brain

Real convo I had with my gf when we were playing Minecraft BUT it’s Finn and shrimpo because. Sigh. It fits them

Yes I was shrimpo what did you expect

[loveinhawkins]

When he’s really tired, Steve will rub at his left eyebrow bone absentmindedly.

Eddie can’t really pinpoint when he first discovered the habit; it just feels like something he has always known.

Like now, the way Steve’s index finger digs into the arch somehow tells him that Steve had a late night, not through choice—probably lay awake until four in the morning, then began his day with a dull ache radiating from the top of his head.

And… Eddie glances at the clock in his hospital room—yup, Steve’s right on time to crash by four in the afternoon.

He would offer his own damn bed were it not for the fact that he’s more than aware Steve would adamantly refuse.

At this point Eddie almost feels like he has no need of a hospital bed himself, although he knows that’s not true: getting discharged’s on the horizon, but he’s not naive enough to think he’s completely recovered yet—knows his aches and pains will no doubt come back with a vengeance when he returns home.

But that doesn’t change the fact that in amongst the bouts of frustration and boredom, of feeling like all he’s doing is waiting, this little in-between is… nice. He’s gotten into the swing of it by now, knows the pattern.

He’ll keep an eye on the clock, let Steve sleep for a couple hours then gently wake him so he isn’t late: he’s got dinner with the Buckleys tonight followed by a viewing of Murder, She Wrote.

Eddie’s picked up enough to work out that it’s a routine which began last fall; Robin said during their first viewing, Steve sat on an armchair which her dad would usually favour without realising, and her dad cracked an incredibly corny joke about the balance of the universe being disrupted—and she had to privately reassure Steve that the man wearing odd socks, jeans and a faded pyjama shirt at 8pm was, in fact, just kidding.

The routine continued even when things were at their most dire—Eddie knows that he almost caused them to miss an episode at the end of Spring Break.

“Yeah, you really should’ve considered that, dude,” Steve had joked—once they were out of the woods, once he was no longer gripping the back of his chair with white knuckles. (When Eddie could finally breathe a little better.)

“We all have flaws,” Robin said magnanimously; Eddie could feel her hand squeezing his beneath the bedsheets.

A soft clatter of a pencil being dropped onto the floor, rolling to an eventual stop.

Steve’s got a pad of paper resting on his knee. It’s one him and Robin share, taking turns at coming up with more and more outlandish predictions for upcoming episodes.

Eddie can see no such notes on the page right now, not even words: just drowsy pencil trails, getting increasingly faint.

The pad slips from Steve’s knee, slides down to the floor to join the pencil.

Steve reaches for it way too late. Eddie smiles.

“Just leave it, Steve,” he says. “I’ll get it.”

Steve hums in vague acknowledgment. Presses a finger just above his eye, blinks so slowly.

“Mm, why?”

Here’s the song and dance; Eddie could set it to music.

“Cause you’re gonna fall asleep,” he teases, sing-song.

Steve feigns bafflement even as his head’s tipping down to the armrest of the couch. Yeah, another sleepover at Robin’s is definitely in the cards.

“Oh, yeah? How’d you—” a yawn, “—figure that, smarty pants?”

“Guess I just know you,” Eddie says.

Steve’s breathing starts to deepen; his hand gradually falls away from his face, lips already forming unintelligible murmurs. Heavy eyes shut.

And here’s another pattern Eddie’s come to know, like sheet music memorised—engraved on his heart.

Because I love you.

[xjoonchildx]

kanalia | jhs x reader | final chapter: because i couldn't stay away

banner by the amazing @kth1 💕

⚜️summary: secrets and uncertainty plague a young queen in her arranged marriage to a kind but distant king. the farther she drifts from her husband, the closer she gets to one of his most trusted men.

⚜️pairing: queen!reader x royalguard!hoseok

⚜️rating: mature, 18+

⚜️genre: royal AU, historical AU, smut

⚜️warnings: infidelity (it’s complicated, y’all) mentions of pregnancy, fertility issues. OC struggles with depressive thoughts and episodes. smut warnings in effect.

⚜️word count: 10.2K

⚜️author's note: happy birthday month to my forever muse, jung hoseok. i hope that i did this poor, tortured version of you some justice. and yes, it did take me years to finish this story (😭) , but i did. thank you to every single who has ever taken an interest in this story and cared enough to stick with me through long delays and rough writing spells. once again, i have to shout out the OG @hobi-gif who lent her eyes to part of this story. i appreciate you all so much and if you enjoyed it, i would very much appreciate a reblog as well as your feedback.

thank you guys so, so much 💕

previous chapter masterlist

Love doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep loving anyway We laugh and we cry and we break And we make our mistakes And if there's a reason I'm by her side When so many have tried Then I'm willing to wait for it I'm willing to wait for it

– “Wait for It”

Hamilton, An American Musical 

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

One perfect loop is followed by another. And another. And another.

You need not look back and check your work, not anymore. Now you know simply by the pull of the thread that each stitch you place is snug and uniform. You sit in your chair by the fire and repeat the motion over and over again, staring unseeing into the pattern in your lap. 

“It’s a beautiful day, Your Grace.”

Hyeri’s voice taps at the edges of your consciousness, muffled as though she’s standing outside the chamber door instead of seated right beside you. You ignore it and push another loop through the fabric.

“Not a cloud in the sky,” she persists, gentle. “Perfect conditions for a walk, if you feel up to it. I could even accompany you, if you wish?”

There was a time, not long ago, when Hyeri’s prodding would have set your teeth on edge. But you do not have the energy to muster any such emotion. And so you give Hyeri the same answer you’d given her the day before. And the day before that one. The same hushed words, spoken in the same decisive tone.

“I’m content to stay in today, Hyeri. Thank you.”

“Very well, Your Grace.”

She drops the matter with a quiet sigh.

It’s unlike her. The Hyeri you know would fret and fuss for as long as it took for you to relent; until you had no choice but to quit your chamber simply to enjoy a moment’s peace. The Hyeri you know would be shooing you away from the fire, prattling on about how one errant thread could catch and send your entire dress up in flames. 

But the Hyeri seated beside you does none of those things.

So you sink deeper into the plush chair perched in front of the hearth and watch the flames dance. The embers at the base of the fire glow deep red, putting off a heat blistering enough to scorch your bare feet. 

But you cannot feel it. You cannot feel anything.

You’ve surrendered to the weariness now; let it consume you. Allowed it to fuse itself to the very marrow of your bones. For days you’ve done little beyond sleep and spend your few waking hours seated by the fire, needle in hand. 

Twice you’ve left your chamber and neither time by choice, but rather because the King had insisted on your presence at dinner. To what end you still cannot be sure seeing as you’d taken both meals in stilted, awkward silence. Apparently His Grace is far less bold without a bit of ale in him.

“The hunting party leaves in three days' time,” Hyeri says. “There’s been quite a fuss in the kitchens over it. They’re taking enough supplies to travel for months, by the looks of it.”

You make a non-committal sound under your breath. Hyeri forges on, undeterred.

“There will be a send-off in the courtyard, of course. Will you – “ she pauses to choose her words carefully. “ – Well, I assume that you’ll want to see the King off.”

You do not want to see the King off. Were it not for his pigheaded adamance that you keep up appearances for the sake of this sham marriage, you’d be content to never see him again. But you’ll not tell Hyeri that. Not when she’s made it clear where her loyalties lie and not when she still holds on to the delusion that one day you’ll decide to embrace your role as the placeholder by the King’s side.

So you say nothing at all. The fire pops as one of the logs crumbles in the hearth.

Hyeri clears her throat. “Your Grace, I only want what’s best for you. Surely you know that by now? And I don’t want people casting aspersions, which they most certainly will do if you’re not there to see the King off. The staff is already asking questions about why you’ve not been seen in days.”

“Has he asked for me?”

Hyeri blinks. “The King?”

“Yes, Hyeri,” you say slowly. “The King. Has His Grace requested my presence at this send-off ceremony?”

The color seems to drain from her soft face as she admits, “No, Your Grace. He hasn’t.”

“Then I see no point in worrying yourself over the matter.”

You return your attention to your needlework and place another yellow thread in the center of your Mugunghwa flower’s pistil. The flames crackle in perfect, undisturbed silence. 

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

“It’s cold out there today,” Hyeri says. “But if you bundle up tight, it’s quite pleasant in the sunshine.”

“Thank you, Hyeri,” you reply evenly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It’s a lie, and you both know it. You have no intention of leaving this chamber today and much to your relief, the King did not require your presence at his evening meal the night prior. Hyeri had ordered your dinner sent up and then proceeded to dine with you herself. An insidious voice inside your mind whispers she’s afraid to leave you alone.

You ignore it.

Instead you try to focus on your Mugunghwa flower. You study it, blinking until the riot of colors before you has clear, defined boundaries – fiery crimson at the center which slowly bleeds into a subdued pink which in turn dissipates into a milky white. You pull fresh white thread through your needle and set to work on the flower’s edges.

“Your needlework is much improved, Your Grace,” Hyeri notes. “You’ll be finished with that pattern by the end of the day, as I see it.”

You thumb over the fabric and consider her assessment. She’s right, you’ll be done with this pattern in a matter of hours. And the only thing that awaits on the other side is another pattern. And another. On and on and on. 

“Perhaps when you’re done, you’ll consider mending this for me,” Hyeri says, gesturing towards her lap. “My eyesight is not what it used to be. I’m terrified of ruining the old man’s beautiful design.”

You set your embroidery down and turn to look at Hyeri, gaze falling to the opulent plum fabric in her hands. Slowly, the details sharpen into focus. The rich velvet trim. The gold threads glinting back at you in the firelight. The room begins to tilt.

“A footman found it in the woods last night,” Hyeri explains, her cadence slow and deliberate. “By the stables.”

You are keenly aware of the way she watches you in the weighty seconds that follow, one gray eyebrow lifted as she awaits a response. You do your best to appear calm despite the panic clawing its way up your throat.

You’d lost that shawl in your mad dash back to the castle. You’d been tearing through the dark, paying little heed to the branches that tugged at your dress and occasionally scraped at your hands and face. One of them had caught the shawl, but you’d been so desperate to reach the refuge of your chamber that you’d hardly noticed when it was wrenched away. You’d had, after all, your humiliation to keep you warm.

And you’d earned it, hadn’t you? With your drunkenness. With your recklessness. You’d let every one of your baser emotions take control. You’d risked every advantage of your carefully curated life just to throw yourself like a wanton at the feet of one of your husband’s closest confidantes. Like a fool. 

When Lord Jung turned on his heels that night and abandoned you in the woods, he’d done far more than just rebuff your clumsy advances. 

He’d finished you. 

“Your Grace?” Hyeri’s curiosity is evident. “Are you alright?”

Hardly. Your mouth waters as your stomach threatens to cast up what little you’ve eaten today. One glimpse of that garment had been enough to bring a torrent of memories rushing back; vivid, awful memories that you’ve worked hard to banish to the deepest recesses of your mind. You grip the arm of your chair hard enough to make your knuckles go white. 

“Your Grace?”

You don’t answer until you’re sure that you won’t retch the very moment you open your mouth. Hyeri studies you in the interminable silence, lips parted in an expression of concern. Your tongue is thick when you finally collect yourself enough to speak.

“Please do thank the footman for me, Hyeri. And I think it best to leave the more intricate needlework to you.”

Hyeri stares as you reach for your needle and thread with trembling hands, but you don’t dare look her way. You try to place a loop at the edge of your flower but the Mugunghwa’s colors have gone blurry again and you’re forced to back the needle out and start over.

Perhaps there was a time when the Mugunghwa was as vivid as a rose. With petals of rich orange-red, opaque from pistil to tip. But perhaps it was asked to weather too many storms. Too many droughts. Too many winters. 

Perhaps the Mugunghwa looks the way it does today not because of how it was made, but rather what it’s had to endure. 

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

The first snow of the season arrives early.

You stand at your window and watch it fall, noting how quickly the fields turn from green to white. You press your fingertips to the windowpane and the cold seeps through it, chilling you instantly.

In the courtyard below, the horses are draped in heavy blankets. Stablehands scurry around them; dusting snow off their muzzles and checking their shoes. Footmen work in teams, sharing the weight of the heavy trunks they load on to waiting carts. 

“I’ll wear the blue walking dress today, Hyeri. The one with the white flowers on the bodice.”

“Your Grace?” Hyeri is on her feet at once to join you at the window. “You’ll see the king off, then?”

“I’ll need the matching cape too,” you direct, brushing her question aside as you watch the newly-packed trunks take on a layer of white snow. “If the conditions are as awful as they look.”

“Yes of course,” Hyeri breathes, hurriedly whirling about the chamber behind you as she gathers your things. In a matter of minutes she has you dressed and seated, fingers twisting your hair into a plait at the base of your neck. She loops the plait and pins it into an elegant bun, fingers smoothing the hairs into place before her hands come to rest on your shoulders. She squeezes them gently.

“I’ll not ask you why you’ve changed your mind, Your Grace,” she says softly. “But I’m so glad for it. It’s important that people see you. For them, of course, but for you most of all. And besides, you look so lovely.” 

You don’t feel lovely. In fact, you don’t feel anything at all. And if Hyeri had pressed you as to why you’ve changed your mind, she’d not be satisfied with your answer. You’ve changed your mind because you cannot bear to cause more conflict with the King. Because you have no desire to create a scandal that you’ll somehow have to fix. You’ve changed your mind because you have no fight in you left. This is the path of least resistance.

You rise from your seat and Hyeri’s hands fall away. She clutches them to her chest, rheumy eyes soft with sadness as she watches you take your place at the window once again. Outside the snow falls harder, and you watch the footmen leave deep divots in it with their boots.

“Tell me when it’s time,” you say quietly.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

You can scarcely recognize anyone in the throng of well-wishers gathered outside the castle.

They’re all bundled tight in winter coats and pelts; some wear hats and scarves. The snow doesn’t help either, and from the moment you enter the courtyard you’re grateful for your cape. Not only for the warmth of its thick lining, but for its hood, too. It affords you a bit of privacy in this otherwise very public affair.

You weave your way through the crowd and do your best not to make eye contact with anyone. Surely Boram is among those gathered with sweet Yeona in tow, here to see Lord Min off on his adventure. But you cannot bring yourself to seek her out – not when she’s already called on you twice without so much as an explanation for your disappearance. At any rate, you don’t think you could bear to look at her right now. To see the worry and concern you know you’ll find written all over her face. 

So you keep your hood pulled tight and your eyes down as you set off in search of the King. And you have no trouble finding him despite your reticence to make your presence known. It’s not just that he stands a head taller than most. It’s in his stature, in his stance – in that self-assured air that seems to come naturally to those born with power. He catches sight of you as he’s speaking to a footman and pauses, gaze locking on yours.

Your legs feel heavy. Your boots sink into the snow as you approach, each step more tiring than the last. When you are finally standing before the King you bow, dipping your head as you peer at him from beneath your hood.

“Your Grace,” he murmurs, lips twitching into a cautious half-smile. “I wasn’t sure you’d come down to say goodbye.”

“And yet I have,” you respond evenly. A snowflake lands on one of his long eyelashes and you resist the urge to reach out and sweep it away. “So I do very much hope that you are pleased.”

“I am pleased.”

The King reaches for your gloved hand. He waits a heartbeat before bringing it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to your leather-clad fingers. Beneath your hood, your cheeks burn. You withdraw your hand quickly and let it fall to your side. 

“Well. Then. I wish you a comfortable journey,” you say. “As well as a safe return.”

The two of you stand there for an awkward moment, the King’s expression expectant as though he’s waiting for you to say more. But you have no more to say. The words you’ve already offered him will do. They’re as empty as the vows you’d exchanged little more than a year ago.

“We ought to head out, Your Grace. We’re losing precious daylight and this weather will slow us as it is.”

The voice comes from somewhere in your periphery, but you need not see the man to know exactly who it is. Suddenly each breath you draw is painful, the frigid air pricking your lungs like a thousand tiny needles. You will yourself not to turn towards it, not to react in any way. 

“You’re right.” The King acknowledges Lord Jung with a brusque nod. “Have the stablehands check over the horses one more time.”

You won’t look at him. You can’t look at him. Not when the sound of his voice reverberates through every wounded place inside of you. Not when you can close your eyes and still feel the hot trickle of embarrassment that slid down your spine that night in the woods. But then he leaves you with no other choice.

“Your Grace.” 

The low timbre of Lord Jung’s greeting makes the fine hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end. You turn to him, slowly, and his dark eyes briefly connect with yours before he bends into a shallow bow. Your knees nearly give way when you return the gesture, along with a subdued, “My Lord.”

What must this man think of you now? What has he told the King? The nausea you’ve managed to stave off for days returns at once. 

You startle when a gloved hand wraps around your forearm and the King beckons you to face him. You flick your eyes up to meet his and find that they – along with his countenance – have darkened. By now Lord Jung is yards away, tending to his horse as the hunting party readies to embark. Your lungs ache with each deep pull of cold air.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Not at all,” you insist, contriving a weak laugh. “I’m not accustomed to this kind of cold, is all. I’ll need to go back inside to get warm.”

The King’s brows furrow as he studies you. But you maintain your mild expression until his face relaxes and the disquiet subsides. He leans in to place a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

“Hyeri assures me you’ll be well taken care of in my absence.”

You lift the corners of your mouth in a gesture that you hope will pass for a smile.

“Thank you, Your Grace. Be well.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Hyeri does not protest when you ask to undress upon your return to the chamber. Nor does she fuss when you climb into bed with the morning sun still high in the sky. She simply presses a soft kiss to your hair, draws the curtains tight and leaves you with a whispered rest well. 

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Your chamber is dark when you wake but for the soft glow of a fire. 

As you come to, so does an ache in your temples, a quiet thud that pulses in time with your heartbeat. Your muscles protest as you roll onto your side to find Hyeri seated at the hearth. 

She’s yet to realize that you’ve roused and so you lie there for a while, studying her. She has a strange, far-away look in her eyes as she stares into the flames, her grip tight on a book in her lap. After a few minutes she opens the book and begins to thumb through it and you watch, curious, as she pulls a worn piece of vellum from between its pages.

She unfolds the missive and reads over it, face crumpling as she fights back a sob.

“Hyeri?”

The older woman nearly jumps out of her skin when you call out to her.  She hastily folds the vellum and slips it back into her book, smoothing down her dress as she stands at attention. “Your Grace,” she says, voice huskier than usual, “I hadn’t realized you were awake.”

“It’s alright,” you say absently, voice rough with sleep. You steal a look at the book left lying in Hyeri’s chair as she hurries over to bring you some water. Her countenance is that of someone who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t have. You stare at the glass she offers you, watching the water slosh back and forth. 

Is she trembling?

“You ought to eat something,” she admonishes gently, waving a hand towards the food waiting on the table nearby. “You slept through the evening meal. I had my mind made up to wake you if you’d gone much longer, but thankfully I didn’t have to. So come,” she beckons, “Eat something. It will do you some good.”

Your stomach twinges at the mention of food. It’s been in upheaval for days now, and as such it’s been far too long since you had a proper meal. But whatever awaits in the dishes nearby smells enticing enough, so you allow Hyeri to help you out of bed. Your muscles are stiff with disuse and you grimace as you make your way to the table. Your eagle-eyed handmaid takes note.

“A long, hot bath will do you some good, too,” Hyeri remarks as you spoon lukewarm bulgogi onto your plate. You eat slowly as she busies herself with lighting the torches and stripping the linens from your bed. “I’ll have the maids bring up the water after you’ve had a chance to eat.”

You’ve only managed a few bites of the bulgogi before there’s an army of maids filing into the chamber, flitting about the room like a swarm of bees. You watch the entire affair in a daze as the maids make quick work of the tasks set before them: tidying and sweeping the chamber, draping your bed in fresh linens, filling the tub with steaming hot water. And when all the commotion is finally done, Hyeri dismisses them with strict orders not to return unless they are sent for. 

You are grateful at once for the silence that immediately falls over the chamber. Even Hyeri leaves you for a while, disappearing into the antechamber to prepare your toilette. But when you glance over at her chair, Hyeri’s book is gone. Along with whatever was written on the vellum inside.

“Come now, Your Grace,” Hyeri says, at last. “I’m ready for you.” 

She leads you into the bathing chamber, where the air is humid and sweet. Then she helps you out of your rumpled nightgown and holds out her hand. You accept it, leaning into her as you step over the tub’s steep rim. Slowly you ease yourself down, sucking in a breath as the heat blazes a path up your feet to your legs and thighs. The water is hot almost to the point of pain but you withstand it, sinking until it laps at your shoulders.

“I used rose oil tonight,” Hyeri says, kneeling behind you and cupping your head in her hands. “I thought you could do with a bit of pampering.” 

The delicate fragrance envelopes you, carried on the curls of steam that rise just above the water. You breathe in the soft, floral scent and close your eyes; try to clear your mind. Hyeri presses her thumbs to your temples and starts making firm, soothing circles. 

“I remember the very first moment I saw you,” Hyeri muses softly. “I’d been so impressed by your poise.” Her hands move to the column of your neck and she kneads at the tight muscles there, pulling the tension from them with each pass. “You were little more than a girl then, but I could still see that you were lovely, inside and out.”

Were you? You’re not sure that you would even recognize the girl that stepped out of that carriage so long ago. You’d been so idealistic – so certain of the comfortable life that you would find here. Of the affluence and status and yes, perhaps, even love that you’d enjoy once you’d ascended to the throne. But that girl had been a nitwit. The woman you are now will never entertain such foolish notions again.

“I know that so much of this has not been easy for you,” Hyeri continues, setting to work on your shoulders. “I know that there have been days when you’ve struggled to put one foot in front of the other. But you have. And that means something.”

It does mean something. It means that your mother’s great work is finally complete. She’d spent her entire life molding you into the polished, empty creature you are today. If only she could see you now; see how biddable and pathetic you’ve become. It would fill her to overflowing with joy.

“Anyhow, when you’ve lived as long as I have you realize that nothing is forever,” Hyeri says thoughtfully. “Same as what you’re going through right now, Your Grace. It won’t be forever.”

Nonsense. Hyeri cannot change the King’s heart. She cannot save you from a lifetime of awkward exchanges and forced smiles simply because she believes things can change. And she cannot will a child into your womb simply by decreeing that it should be so. The swell of emotion that surges inside you is more powerful than anything you’ve felt in days. And it’s anger. 

“Hyeri, stop,” you order tersely. “No more.”

Her face falls at that, features going slack with dismay. But she heeds you, holding back whatever she’d meant to say next. Then she reaches for the soap and begins to wash your hair in silence. You chase the beads of oil that float along the surface of the water with a fingertip, cheeks hot with embarrassment. You hadn’t meant to be ugly to Hyeri. 

But then you’ve done many things of late that you hadn’t meant to.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“It’s alright, Your Grace. I know you meant no harm by it.” Hyeri dries her hands off and then rises to her feet, looking down at you with a kindness you do not deserve. “I’ll leave you to soak for a bit. You can have a few minutes of peace before I return.”

You’ve been unfair to her, haven’t you? The realization cuts you deep as you watch her retreat from the antechamber. She’s served you in so many ways since your arrival here: as caretaker and as advisor and as confidante. And how have you thanked her? By being cold and distant. By unleashing all the frustration and resentment you feel towards the King on her. And what of the tears you’d seen her hold back while she’d been sitting by the fire? Have you been so mired in your own anguish that you’ve neglected to see hers? 

The water has begun to cool and your skin has begun to pebble by the time Hyeri returns.

“Forgive me, Your Grace,” she says upon her return, helping you out of the water. “The time got away from me. You must be freezing.”

“Only a little,” you lie, teeth chattering. Hyeri sets to drying you, throwing the damp linens on the floor to catch the rivulets of water that fall from your hair. Her dark eyes dart from your shoulders to your neck to your ears, but they do not meet yours. 

“Is something wrong, Hyeri?”

“No, no. Not at all,” she answers quickly, “Just a bit tired.” Her reassurance rings hollow because she keeps her eyes trained on the floor as she bends to reach for the rose oil. When she straightens, you catch her hand with yours, stilling her. 

“What were you reading tonight?”

Hyeri’s mouth opens in surprise and then quickly closes.

“I saw you sitting by the fire,” you admit. “You were reading something that looked to upset you.”

“And here I thought you were sleeping,” Hyeri grumbles, taking her hand back. She pours the oil into one palm and then warms it before pressing it to your neck, letting a long moment pass before she speaks. 

“It didn’t upset me,” she explains. “Not in a sad way. Those were happy tears, I suppose.” She pours oil into your hands and begins to gently massage it into your fingers. “It was a letter from my Sanghun, back when he’d been courting me so many years ago. You might find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t always the old woman you see now. I had more than my fair share of suitors.”

It’s not hard to believe. Time has been kind to Hyeri. Her features, though soft with age, are still striking. She must have been quite fetching as a young woman. 

“What made you choose Sanghun?” you ask.

“I don’t know that I had a choice in the matter at all,” she laughs as she helps you slip into a nightgown. “The moment I saw Sanghun, no other man existed for me. It was him or no one.” Her eyes go soft with a faraway look as she recounts the memory. “The other girls thought him too practical, too serious. But I saw a side of him that no one else saw. A part of him that was just for me.”

“You must miss him,” you say gently.

“Every day,” Hyeri admits. “Ten years he’s been gone and I think of him every day. Those letters remind me of what it’s like to be young and so in love that you’ll not see rhyme or reason. But –” she trails off and waves a hand as if fending off fresh tears. “Never mind that. Come sit.”

It’s unclear which of you she’s sparing from the memory. But as Hyeri begins working her comb through the lengths of your hair, you’re struck by how shortsighted you’ve been. There is suffering in never having the chance to love and be loved, certainly. But there is a different kind of suffering that comes with having that kind of love and then losing it. The thought humbles you.

Hyeri comes to stand behind you and begins working your wet hair into a loose plait.

“I’m sorry, Hyeri,” you say softly, gaze dropping to your hands. “I’m sorry that I haven’t thought to ask you about Sanghun. I haven’t been myself and I’ve just – “

Hyeri silences you with a soft hush. She secures your braid with a piece of linen and then drops to her knees to look her in the eye. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she says softly, stroking a hand down the side of your face. “Nor do you owe anyone an explanation for feeling the things you feel.”

Her warmth thaws the frozen places inside you. It causes tears to spring to your eyes. And when she takes your hand in hers, you squeeze it gently — hoping that the gesture can convey the feelings you can’t put into words.

“Now put all of that behind you,” she says, smiling through her own unshed tears. “And come sit with me for a while.”

Hyeri leads the way into the chamber and you follow, only to stop short when the hearth comes into view.

When your gaze falls on the silhouetted figure near the fire, you nearly scream. You try to scream. But fear seizes your body, inch by inch – rooting your feet to the floor and closing around your throat like a shackle. You have no choice but stand there, staring in horrified silence as the figure begins to emerge from the shadows. In the span of one frantic heartbeat, the figure has a shape. In the next, it has a face. 

And in the next, it has a name.

“H-Hyeri?” you stammer, swaying on your feet as your legs threaten to give way. Your handmaid doesn’t answer and so you call out again, voice quivering. “Hyeri?”

You cannot take your eyes off the man standing before you. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, and so you stare as the firelight flickers over his stark, beautiful features. Shadows dance across his clenched jaw and knit brow. And his eyes – those dark eyes you know so well are fathomless, inscrutable – smoldering coal set in unblemished, unforgiving stone.

“Hyeri!“ you call out to her again, desperate – reluctantly tearing your gaze from the man to look for her. And when your eyes finally land on Hyeri, you find your handmaid standing near the chamber door, hands clasped together tightly. Streaks of color running up the thin skin of her neck and into her soft cheeks.

But she’s not surprised, is she? Not flummoxed in any way by finding Lord Jung lying in wait inside your private rooms. The realization comes over you slowly, wholly, until a strangle tingle runs from your scalp to the tips of your fingers. She’s arranged this, hasn’t she? 

“W-What is this?” The words leave you as more air than sound, but they ring out clear enough in the silence of your chamber. Lord Jung and Hyeri exchange a long look, but neither utters a sound.

“Someone speak!” you cry, wincing at the hysteria in your voice. 

Hyeri finally clears her throat, her face now fully aflame. “I believe the two of you – “ she pauses, swallowing hard. “Well, I believe the two of you have some things you need to discuss.”

Discuss? You and Lord Jung? Suddenly the panic you feel metastasizes, growing into something much darker. Has he come to admonish you, then? To punish you for your disloyalty? Has he come to lay bare every humiliating detail of that horrible night at the stables for Hyeri to hear? 

“No,” you whisper. You do your best to appear composed, despite the way your knees tremble. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Hyeri. I have nothing to discuss with Lord Jung.”

“Yes, you do.” The man in question speaks for the first time, his voice little more than a low rasp. “And we will.”

“No,” you repeat your refusal, shaking your head as though the movement will help sort your jumbled thoughts. “No. You have no right to turn up here and say what I will and will not do. And where did you come from? I saw you leave. I saw you mount your horse and ride off with – “

You stop yourself before you can finish the thought, flushing fiercely at the unspoken mention of the King. Your tedious, disinterested husband would be anything but if he had any inkling of this clandestine encounter.

“I was called back to the castle,” Lord Jung explains evenly. “A palace rider came bearing a missive bidding that I return at once to address an issue at the stables. I was but an hour’s ride away at the time.” Once again, he looks to Hyeri and they exchange another one of those maddening looks.

“But there was no issue at the stables,” you deduce quietly, the pieces falling into place, one by one. “Was there, Hyeri?” Your handmaid seems to shrink beneath the weight of the accusation in your eyes. 

“No, Your Grace,” she confesses weakly, “There was not.”

Oh, but your head is truly spinning now – each new revelation more disorienting than the last. How long have these two been conspiring together? What does Hyeri know about what’s transpired between you and Lord Jung? What does he know about the many private things you’ve shared with Hyeri? Both thoughts cause the bile in your stomach to rise.

“You can leave us now, Hyeri,” Lord Jung says. “Thank you.”  

Leave you? Has the man lost all good sense? You open your mouth to protest, but when met with the intensity in his glittering dark eyes, words fail you. You just stand there, mouth agape, rendered mute and immobile with shock. You look over at Hyeri, who has fixed her pleading eyes to your wide ones, her expression urging you to comply. And though you cannot make sense of a single thing that you’ve witnessed tonight, you do.

“Very well, My Lord,” she says quietly. “Rest well, Your Grace. The staff rouses at dawn.”

And with that Hyeri takes her leave, the chamber door closing behind her with a heavy thud that echoes the one in your chest.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Once you are alone with Lord Jung, you realize how truly vulnerable you are.

With little more than a thin nightgown to cover you, he can see far more of you than would ever be considered proper. All it would take was one shout from the man to bring the guards running, to compromise you both to the point of expulsion. Perhaps worse.

But the situation is far weightier than that. 

You’ve been vulnerable to this man from nearly the first moment you saw him. You’d been weak to his attention and charms. You’d allowed him to see you in ways that no one else has: not Chaehee, not Hyeri and certainly not the King. And the only time in your life that you’d thrown caution to the wind – and acted with abandon, not restraint – he’d mortified you. The memory of that night is a wound that’s just barely begun to heal, and now here Lord Jung stands, poised to pour salt on it. 

You’ll not allow him to devastate you again. 

“Go on then,” you say, lifting your chin and speaking with feigned bravado. “You’ve gone to great lengths to speak to me, so speak. I assume you’ll enlighten me as to which matter is so pressing that you felt the need to steal into my chamber and risk ruin for us both.”

“I know what I’m risking,” he growls. Then he stops to collect himself, exhaling deeply as he shoves a hand through his hair. “I know what we both stand to lose. But I could not come to you any other way.”

“Why have you come to me at all?” you demand. “You made your feelings quite clear the night of the festival, did you not?” You can no longer contain your bitterness and it drips from your every word. “You should go back to your sovereign, My Lord. Back to your King.”

Lord Jung looks stricken when you use his own words against him. There is a despair in his dark eyes that might have pained you once, but not now. Not anymore.

“You have every right to be angry with me, Your Grace,” he acknowledges. “And if you bid me to leave, then I will do so. But not without telling you the truth. You deserve to hear the truth.”

“Everything here is a lie. Perhaps you, most of all.”

He looks at you for a long moment before turning towards the hearth to gaze into the fire. Orange-red light illuminates his profile, sweeping across his smooth brow, over the elegant slope of his nose and down to his strong jaw. He is still the most beautiful – and most terrible man you’ve ever known.

“The King said he would give her up,” he says woodenly, staring into the flames. “When your marriage was announced, he swore it. And I believed him.”

Every muscle in your body pulls tight.

“I knew that he loved her. We all did. But he vowed that he would respect his father’s wishes and I’ve never known him to be a duplicitous man. I’ve never known him to say one thing and do another. And when I realized that he’d been deceiving you, deceiving us all, I – “ he stops and shakes his head at the memory. “ – I wasn’t thinking clearly. I confronted him at once and demanded that he explain himself.”

The argument in the courtyard. The memories come back to you in an instant. The way they’d both looked so irate, the way their voices would rise and then fall. Lord Jung turning his back on the King and stalking away into the dark. 

The tightness in your chest is unbearable now, viselike. 

“I was so damned angry,” he whispers, more to himself than to you. “Never once in my life have I imagined putting my hands on the King, but in that moment – I don’t know. I don’t know what I might have done had I not walked away. But I confronted him because I had to know why.”

He rips his gaze from the fire and turns to you, eyes flashing.

“And do you know what he told me? Do you know what he said when I asked him why he would insult you by keeping a lover? He told me that he couldn’t stay away. That he’d tried to do the honorable thing but he couldn’t stay away.”

“Why are you telling me this?” The tremor in your voice belies your pathetic attempt at composure. “If you mean to cause me pain, it’s too late. I’ve known about the King’s lover since the early days of this marriage, and I’ve accepted it. Just as I’ve accepted that I’ll never amount to more than a trinket he dusts off to show to his people.”

Lord Jung takes a step towards you, his beautiful face hard in the firelight. There’s a maelstrom behind his eyes, a polite violence that sets you to shiver.

“I’m telling you this because I need you to understand,” he says. “I want to hate him. I have tried to hate him. But I cannot. I have no position of honor to stand on. No rightful claim to virtue. I have no right to condemn the King for his sins when I have so many of my own to account for.”

“I – I don’t understand,” you say weakly.

“I have no right – “ his voice breaks, thick with emotion, “-- I have no right to denounce the King for coveting another woman.” He drags a hand down his face, distraught. “Not when I have spent every single day since you stepped out of that carriage coveting you.”

You stop breathing entirely.

“So no,” he continues, voice graveled. “I cannot bring myself to hate the King. And you were right to think me a liar. I’ve pretended that my nearness to you was benign, nothing more than an act of service. I’ve tried to make myself look honorable to you, when I have been anything but. I’ve been a liar since the moment I met you.”

You are trembling now, head to toe. Rendered speechless by Lord Jung’s confession. Slowly, the maelstrom in his eyes starts to recede. He looks as vulnerable now as you feel. 

“You deserved to know the truth,” he says quietly. “If from no one else, than from me.” 

There is a heavy silence in the seconds it takes you to find your voice.

“My Lord, I – “

“Don’t call me that,” he pleads. “Please. Not now. Not when I’ve come to you like this.”

“Very well, Hoseok. But you sent me away. In the woods that night, I’d asked you to – “ you stop, not wanting to say the words aloud. “What’s changed? Why are you telling me this now?”

“I have tried to leave you alone.” His voice is ragged now, anguished. “I thought if I could just put some distance between us – if I rose earlier and worked harder and retired later – that I could exhaust this need out of me. But I can’t.” Torment is etched into every line of his beautiful face. It makes you want to reach out and touch him but you resist, uncertainty keeping your hands pinned to your sides.

“I cannot war with myself any longer,” he says hoarsely. “I cannot continue to lie to you or myself. And if he is not willing to give you the things you desire, then I will.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks, your neck. It gathers in your belly, too.

“So if you’re asking me why now?” he says, taking another step towards you, closing what little distance remains. “It’s because I couldn’t stay away.”

He touches you then, takes your face into one warm hand and strokes his fingers down your temple, smooths the pad of his thumb over your lips. The featherlight touch raises goosebumps all over your skin. It’s more intimate than anything you’ve ever experienced with the King. 

“Do you still want me to kiss you?” he murmurs. 

“No,” you breathe. “I want so much more than that.”

He looks at you with such heat that the warmth in your belly goes molten. Then he presses his mouth to yours and slowly coaxes it open with gentle strokes of his tongue. He tastes of whiskey and smells of fine, heady soap and he does not relent until you are panting. Moisture gathers at the juncture of your thighs, beneath your thin nightgown.

But suddenly you are apprehensive. You’ve no idea how to kiss a man properly, much less satisfy him as a lover. And you’re not sure that you could ever live down the shame of disappointing him. When he finally pulls away to look down at you with heavy-lidded eyes, you have no choice but to confess.

“There’s something you should know, Hoseok,” you say, the sound of his given name still foreign in your mouth. “It’s just that – well, I am by no means a maiden but in some respects, I might as well be. I know almost nothing about how to please you.”

Anger flashes in his eyes, and for one terrifying moment you fear it’s for you.

“That is through no fault of your own,” he says darkly. “And if he’s been too much of a fool to see to your needs, then so be it.” He dips his head to press a kiss to your ear, then whispers, “Your pleasure will be mine and mine alone.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Hoseok spends an inordinate amount of time tending to the fire. 

You sit on the edge of your bed and watch him, feverish with anticipation as he moves the weakest logs and adds fresh ones. Once he’s satisfied, once the chamber is glowing with fresh flames and warmth, he cleans his hands and comes to you.

Your heart rattles harder with each step he takes towards your bed. 

When he’s finally standing at the foot of your bed, he takes off his belt. And then reaches behind his head to pull his tunic away. The sight of his bare chest is enough to make your mouth go dry. His body is lithe and sleek and strong, his muscles rippling as he puts his hands down on either side of you and lowers his mouth to yours for a kiss.

“Tonight is about you, pretty bird,” he murmurs, trailing more kisses across your cheek, down your neck. “So I want you to tell me everything you want.”

“I want to see you.” The words leave you in a rush an account of the way his mouth moves from the juncture of your neck and to the hollow of your collarbone. “All of you.”

Hoseok wastes no time in straightening to his full height to remove his breeches, and then his smallclothes. And try as you might not to stare, it cannot be helped. You’ve never been able to study a man like this. Not even the King.

“Can I touch you?” 

“Please,” he groans.

And then you are cautiously reaching for him, wrapping a hand around the length of him, marveling at the way he pulses in your palm. You run your fingertips down the skin of his shaft, awestruck by how silky and warm he is. But when your fingers reach the blunt head of him, he flinches.

“I don’t – I’m sorry,” you say quickly. “Did I hurt you?

“No, no. You didn’t hurt me,” he assures you, his voice sounding a bit strangled. “I’m just sensitive there, is all.”

“Will you show me, then?” you ask, curiosity far stronger than any self-consciousness you might feel. “Show me how to touch you.”

“Of course.”

He sits down on the bed beside you, taking hold of your hand. And then you watch with a heady mix of confusion and excitement as he takes your fingers into his mouth one, by one. He finishes the unfamiliar preparation by licking a long stripe up the palm of your hand. The stroke of his tongue sends a bolt of desire racing through you.

“It’s easier like this,” he explains, guiding your hand back to his length. You take hold of him again and this time he wraps his hand around yours. He moves your hand for you, up and down the length of him, until you can feel him growing hotter and harder in your hand. You’re fascinated by it all – by how firmly he wants to be touched, by how labored his breathing becomes, by the way the muscle and sinew in his legs seem to twitch at your command.

He leans over to capture your mouth as he begins to buck into your hand in earnest. And after a while his own hand falls away, leaving you to take control of his pleasure. And what an intoxicating power he’s given you – taut muscles in his abdomen flexing with each of his strained breaths.

“That feels so good, pretty bird,” he groans, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. “Just right. Your hand feels so good around me like this.” 

The wetness you’d felt between your thighs when he’d kissed you the first time returns, and each sound of pleasure he rewards you with makes you wetter and warmer. He is rock hard in your hand now, the dusky head of his manhood shiny with moisture. You watch a bead of it appear at the tip and you slide your fingertips over it, transfixed by how smooth it feels. Beside you, Hoseok shudders.

“I think that’s enough for now,” he says, breathless. “I’ll be of no use to you if you keep that up for much longer.”

You have half a mind to protest, but then his hands are sliding over the thin material of your nightgown, cupping your breasts through the gauzy fabric. He takes one of your nipples between his fingers and teases it until it’s standing at attention. You sigh.

“Can I take this off?” he whispers, pulling at the nightgown. 

You hesitate. Not even the King has seen you nude. Not once has he ever asked you to remove your nightgown and so for a long time, that is what you’d assumed he preferred. That is, until you’d caught him in bed with his lover. 

“Look at me,” Hoseok says, sensing your anxiety. He tips your chin up until your gaze meets his own. “I’ll not ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to use my mouth and hands on you. On all of you.”

You inhale deeply, flustered by the way he speaks so plainly about his desires. But that’s what you want, isn’t it? What you’ve longed for all this time. And that’s what he’s promised you, isn’t it? Pleasure. Pleasure that will be his and his alone. 

You draw your nightgown up to your thighs and then raise up to pull it even higher. When you’ve finally discarded it, when there is nothing left between you and Hoseok you flush, looking away.

“You have nothing to hide,” he rasps. “You’re beautiful. Believe me, pretty bird – you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

Emboldened by the praise, you draw nearer to him and trace the outline of his heart-shaped mouth with one finger. And then it is your lips that find his; your tongue that moves past the seam of his lips and your teeth that find the shell of his ear. You thread your fingers in his hair, and he groans, gathering you close.

“You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve dreamed of you like this,” he says, gently laying you back on the bed. “You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve taken myself in hand to these fantasies.”

Oh, but you can imagine, can’t you? The few times you’d dared to try and seek your own pleasure, it had been him in your mind’s eye as your hand was between your legs. It had always been him. 

Hoseok’s mouth leaves yours and when it  finds the tip of one aching breast, you gasp.

“Do you like that?” he goads, laving your nipple with his tongue, taking it between his teeth. The pang of pleasure he incites in you is so sharp, you cry out. “Your body is so responsive,” he murmurs. “So damned responsive.”

There is only so much of that particular torture you can take, and so when his mouth finally leaves your breasts you exhale a sigh of relief. But then his mouth is on your sternum, and then your stomach, and then –

You freeze.

“I want to kiss you here,” Hoseok explains, cupping your mound with one large hand. “I promised you pleasure and this is the surest way to it. Will you let me?”

He looks up at you from the edge of the bed, his dark hair wild and his dark eyes glossy with desire, his mouth hovering over your most secret place. Your pulse skitters, heart pounding erratically at the thought of him kissing you there.

“Is it – is it proper?” you ask, chiding yourself at once for asking such a stupid question. Your face flames when Hoseok raises a brow. “I don’t know that I’ve ever thought to consider the … propriety of such an act,” he says slowly. “But I know that you’ll enjoy it if you allow me to show you. And if you don’t enjoy it, I’ll stop.”

In the seconds that follow, you think about the way he’d let you take him in hand. How he’d showed you how to bring him pleasure, without reserve. How powerful you’d felt when he’d been shuddering under your touch. He’d trusted you, hadn’t he? Just as you now must trust him.

“Alright,” you whisper, nodding your assent. “I trust you.”

He grins at you then, wickedly, before lowering his mouth to your mons. And then he is kissing you there, softly, each brush of his lips moving lower and lower still. Until you feel the heat of his breath at your entrance. You tense.

“Relax for me,” he instructs, licking a long, wet stripe up the length of you. The touch sends a frisson of sensation shooting through your limbs. “Close your eyes and try to think of nothing but this.”

And then he sets his tongue to the tiny pearl at your entrance. 

And at once, you see stars.

“H-Hoseok!” you gasp, your hips flying off the bed at the contact. The urge to snap your legs shut is almost as strong as the urge to push deeper into the pleasing press of his tongue. Almost.

But he pins your legs down with his arms and continues the onslaught, stroking and licking at you with his tongue, nipping at you with his teeth. You grab fistfulls of the duvet as though it might ground you somehow, keep you from bursting into flame.

And then he slides one long finger into you.

You are incoherent now, moaning and begging in broken sentences that do not make sense. But your body is responding in ways that your words cannot, hips moving in time with his mouth. Each pass of his tongue sends sharp spikes of pleasure to your core. You’d thought you’d known what this pleasure felt like, that perhaps you’d be able to reach it on your own someday, but never once had it been like this. 

And then you can feel it – the coil turning inside you, the desperate ascent to the one place you’ve never been able to reach. And it’s so close, so so close – the promise of whatever awaits on the other side strong enough to sate this nameless craving that you’ve felt for so long. It’s within your reach now, if only you can just hold on.

And then it stops.

He takes his mouth and tongue away and the pleasure vanishes. “Hoseok, no,” you cry, sapped of all energy, robbed once again of the relief you so desperately seek. “Please,” you beg weakly, “please.”

But he’s at your side now, the length of his body resting against yours, his manhood hard and hot against your leg. “Come now, pretty bird,” he soothes, “I didn’t bring you this high just to let you fall.”

He presses his lips to your ear at the same time he presses his fingers back to the aching bud between your thighs. “Go on then,” he whispers. “Fly.”

He brings every sensation he’d wrought from you rushing back with his fingers. His mouth hovers at your ear, whispering his encouragement until the coil inside you snaps. He must have known that you’d not be able to contain yourself when you came apart because he covers your mouth with his own, swallowing the sobs he wrenches from you, bringing you down slowly as you come apart.

And when you finally come to your senses again, when your breathing has evened and your heart has slowed and every part of you feels liquid and languid, he smiles.

“I couldn’t risk you waking the entire castle,” he explains apologetically, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” you shudder through your quiet laughter, aftershocks of sensation rippling through you. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I’ve never – never experienced anything like that.”

“That’s mine,” he murmurs, going up on one elbow. “Just as I told you it would be.”

Indeed. But what about his pleasure? The firm reminder of it remains pressed against you, the rigid length of it leaking onto your duvet. You reach for it and he draws a sharp breath through his clenched teeth.

“I want to feel you inside me,” you say softly, noting the way a muscle tics in his jaw. You wrap your hand around him and squeeze, astounded by how feverishly hot he feels. “Please.”

Hoseok nods, climbing over you and settling his hips between your thighs. He takes himself in hand and when you feel the blunt head of him at your entrance, you tense again. But he doesn’t enter you right away. Instead he looks down at you, his dark eyes brimming with emotion.

“Are you certain,” he breathes, his brow dotted with a fine sheen of sweat. “I need to hear you say it.”

You lift up to kiss him, pressing your lips to his. “Take me, Hoseok,” you whisper. “Now.”

And in one sure stroke, he’s buried to the hilt inside you. 

Bodies sealed, fates sealed.

The force of his entry steals the breath from your lungs. And though you’ve been breached before, it’s never felt like this. You’re still sensitive from the pleasure he’d given you only moments before and each of his thrusts only heightens the sensation. 

You cling to him as he rocks against you, closing your eyes to revel in the fullness. He buries his head in your neck and thrusts harder, the sound of his skin meeting yours just as gratifying as it is lurid. And when he reaches between you to press his fingers to your pearl once again, impossibly you feel fresh pleasure begin to bloom.

Broken phrases fall from his lips, a string of curses and blessings and everything in between. And his coarse language doesn’t scandalize you; in fact it only causes you to hurtle towards the peak faster. And then you’re flying again – flying apart, scattering into a million pieces. Crying into his mouth as your release explodes into color and tiny wisps of fire slowly drift back to the earth.

But you come back to yourself just as his rhythm has started to falter, just as the steady cant of his hips becomes so frenetic that you know his own release is near. You have only a moment to mourn the loss of his weight and his warmth before he’s on his knees before you.

You’ve never seen anything more erotic. Firelight flickers over him as he throws his head back, the cords in his neck clenching as he takes himself in hand. And then he is groaning, long and low, as his release spills on to the duvet.

Then he collapses onto you, wrapping you up in his arms, turning you both until he’s on his back and your head rests upon his chest. And then you both lie there for a while, skin to skin,  watching the flames cast shadows on the stone.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Neither one of you sleep, the threat of dawn too near to indulge in any such luxury. 

“What happens now, Hoseok?”

You ask the question after he’s made love to you a second time, both of you too exhausted to move. Hoseok inhales and exhales deeply. “I don’t know. I have no control over the world outside of that chamber door, pretty bird.”

You map the lines of his chest with one finger, thoughtful.

“You told me earlier that if the King would not give me the things I desire, you would. Did you mean that?”

“I did,” Hoseok says, pressing a kiss to your hair. “If it’s within my power, then I will. I will give you anything I can.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. “Thank you.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

You sit by the window and take in the afternoon sunlight, eyes drooping as you fight to stay awake.

You cannot ever remember being so tired. You sleep in fits and starts now, two or three hours at a time. And your body is too fatigued to talk up walking again, though the fresh air and exercise would do you some good. But you will walk again, soon. It won’t be long before you’re sitting with your birds and reading in the gentle Spring breeze.

Hyeri charges into the room like a bull, the tea tray in her hand clattering loudly. You narrow her eyes at her as she approaches and she fixes you with a sardonic look.“Oh, hush you,” she grumbles, setting the tray down on the table and walking over to you. “I wasn’t that loud.”

But her scowl falls away as her gaze locks on the baby at your breast, her muted eyes glowing with admiration. 

“That’s a fine Prince you have there, Your Grace,” she says softly. Then she looks up at you and her scowl returns. “Though at the rate you’re going, I’ll never get to hold him, will I? You’ve an entire staff to help you with him, and still you refuse. You’re going to make that boy rotten.”

You chuckle under your breath as you stroke your hand over the tuft of downy hair at your son’s crown. He blinks up at you with his huge dark eyes, and your heart is filled to overflowing with a love that you once you thought you’d never know. 

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

y,all i finished it! hahah okay so listen. if you'd like to talk to me, i'd love to hear from you. please consider reblogging and dropping me an ask 💕

[bunnivez]

Episode 1… A Crazy Night

The rays of sun peeking through the curtains hit your warm skin. Peace— is what you felt. Your mind was completely out of the world forgetting about everything; reality.

The smell of some expensive cologne filled in your senses— wait.. expensive cologne?

Your eyes shot wide open only to get jump scared by the person sleeping peacefully besides you, their face facing yours.

Who..?

Long Lashes, white hair, purple tattoos, piercings… Is she naked?

“What the fuck..” you quietly said before sitting, were you this sore before?

‘Wait… WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?’ you quickly panicked at the realization that not only were you in the same bed as a stranger—but you both are fucking NAKED. THIS PLACE ISN’T EVEN YOUR PLACE.

“Hmm. You awake now?” You heard the woman groan. Startled you looked down at her once again with wide eyes. There she was, a hand ran through her hair putting it back as she opened her eye revealing a pretty blue.

You felt your heart stop at the realization. The relation that this wasn’t just a woman you most likely slept with, but Zoya …. WHAT.

“WAIT… You are…” You went pale as your eyes didn’t leave hers.

“Yeah? Do you not remember me or somethin’?” She teased with a smirk.

What even happened last night?

…

It was late and you went out to go clubbing with your friends. Not only that but your favorite band The Legion were playing there tonight! It wasn’t too rare for them to perform in clubs, and during those times the clubs would end up packed. Even to the point that others can’t even enter due to how full it is. Luckily for you, your friends managed to be one of the ones to enter first meaning you got first row as well!

Zoya, the lead singer of The Legion was your favorite member. She had a beautiful voice, was skilled with the guitar, absolutely attractive and hot, what girl wouldn’t fall for her?

Throughout the whole performance your eyes were glued on her. Taking in the sight of her exposed muscles, the sweat dripping down her forehead, the way her fingers pressed on the guitar’s strings, the way her lips moved.

And strangely enough— you’d notice the quick glances she gave you.

…

“Are you alright?” Zoya asked and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “Y-yeah” you replied and quickly got up in search for your clothes which were scattered on the floor. You felt her eyes look at you while you tried to put your clothes back on, but no words were exchanged between you two. What were you supposed to even say? ‘Thank you for the lovely time last night even though I don’t remember shit! ’.

Until the silence was finally broken, “Hey.. Want me to drive you back home?” “Um… No i’m okay.” “Please. At least let me get you an uber or something.”

Things were already too awkward, her driving you back home? Might as well die. Yet walking your way back home alone not knowing exactly where you are isn’t the smartest choice either.

“.. Alright, thank you.”

‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞ ୨୧ ‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞

She guided you outside the hotel, again, no words were spoken between the two of you. But she was even nice enough to open the car’s door for you and close it before saying goodbye and “have a nice day”.

What else was there to say?

“Where to, miss?” The driver asked looking at you through the mirror. Once you gave them your adress the car started.

You remembered you haven’t checked your phone earlier, so when you turned it on you find it filled with so many messages and missed calls from your friends from last night— some from earlier around 5:00.

After finally arriving home, you took a shower, changed into some clean clothes and sat on the couch the whole day watching movies, doing a bit of cleaning, cooking something— anything to get your mind off of her.

Yet despite your efforts nothing seemed to work. It’s not like you slept with some random girl— no, this is Zoya. Bai Yi and K.K weren’t joking; if anyone saw you and Zoya leaving the hotel together there will be reports and pictures taken by the paparazzi all over the internet; something that has been done before with other girls that have been seen with Zoya.

Another thing that occupied your mind was; how did it all happen?

…

The concert ended, people were starting to leave, some stayed to call for a ride, others trying to get autographs from The Legion. You weren’t drunk, just had a few drinks but you were fine along with your friends… Surprisingly Bai Yi didn’t get too drunk.

“Guys ima use the restroom, are you coming?” You asked, Bai Yi and K.K shook their heads, “Nah, i’m good. I will try to get an *hic* autograph from The Legion for ya!” Bai Yi winked.

K.K sighed as she looked at a sleeping Deren snoring loudly taking up the whole couch “It was a bad idea bring her. We should’ve taken Che with us instead.

“You know he would decline in a second.” You laughed, “Anyway I will come back in a bit.”

“Don’t take too long! I don’t want to stay for too long with these two, especially since Chelsea left early.” You heard K.K exclaim.

Oh yeah, Chelsea did leave pretty early; she said something about how she promised one of her sugar babies a night together or something along those linee.

Quickly you opened the restroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and makeup a bit before you heard something else enter, and much to your surprise when you looked at the person through the mirror you saw her— and she was staring at you.

“Hey, tonight was hella crowded huh?” She smiled at you as if she has met you before. She was so much more attractive up close, you couldn’t get your eyes off of her, you even forgot how to breath because holy shit— THIS IS ZOYA TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

“U-um, yeah haha, there was so many people that came to watch you guys.”

Zoya started washing her hands which gave you the opportunity to take a peek, her fingers were long, nails painted black, she wore those chunky silver rings—

“Hm. I think I have seen you in some of my previous concerts.” Zoya suddenly spoke.

You quickly looked away to the side flustered and surprised that she even noticed you, “Yeah! I am a very big fan. I try to attend to every concert you guys hold, I’m surprised you noticed.”

She chuckled “Well it’s kinda hard not to notice a pretty girl like you.”

Did she.. just call you pretty!? OHDSHABAHAJAHAJ GAUSHWTAJAGAUWGWHSBGSHSVWSHAJjsywj

“Me? Pssshh, nah.” You rolled your eyes yet you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at the compliment.

Once she finished washing her hands she turned around to look at you properly; getting a bit closer even, “Nah, I’m being for real. You’re very pretty— almost couldn’t take my eyes off you back there.” she smirked. “I even wanted to go and talk to you and stuff.”

“Oh? Then could it be that you came here because I was too?” You joked. Zoya shook her head and smiled, “No, that was just pure luck. I didn’t expect you to be here honestly.”

You hummed and stood there awkwardly. You were nervous that is no doubt, but who the heck wouldn’t? Especially in the presence of one of your favorite artists.

“Mind joining me for a drink? I’ll pay.”

You accepted the offer. The rest of the night went smoothly, some fans that stayed asked Zoya for autographs or pictures, but her attention was all on you. That night you learned many things about her. She liked her liquor strong, had a high alcohol tolerance, wasn’t good at driving but is great with motorcycles, loves her band and see’s the members as her own family.

You both talked like you’ve been friends for a long time, like this wasn’t Zoya from your favorite band, but just Zoya. Before you knew it, you both kissed, and soon you were in her bed; and on that moment you forgot about everything, like your friends, telling them you left, you were only focused on her.

The way her lips felt against your own, the way her hands roamed across your body, touching— grabbing you everywhere. The way she made you scream her name, arch your back, scratch her back with your nails. It all felt heavenly.

Suddenly nothing mattered, not even the consequences, not even the fact that you two didn’t know each other well, that she didn’t even know your damn name.

…

Oh fuck.

No you really did it this time (Y/n).

“Holy shit.” You groaned and buried your face on the pillow.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

You did fucking sleep with her…

Oh god you’re now one of the girls she has slept with, why!? Why would you do that knowing it would be a terrible mistake.

After cursing yourself for some time you decided the best thing to do at the moment is sleep, rest your mind, get your head off of things.

‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞ ୨୧ ‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞‿͞

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. With a groan you turned around and reached for your phone, squinting your eyes due to the light of the screen as you tried to read the message Bai Yi left you along with a missed call— then she called you again.

You answered..

You: Whats up?

Bai Yi: HAVE YOU CHECKED THE NEWS YET!?

You: What do you mean? I just woke up.

Bai Yi: GIRL YOU’RE EVERYWHERE, THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU AND ZOYA.

You: *sits up quickly* WHAT!?

Bai Yi: Someone saw you and Zoya leave the hotel she was staying at TOGETHER, they took pictures and people are now making rumors that maybe you two might be in a secret relationship or just another nightstand.

You: You’re joking, bro this is actually not funny—

Bai Yi: I’m not, here, i’ll even send you a damn report that has been published not too long ago.

And much to your horror, she truly wasn’t joking. The link she sent leaded to a news report and there you were with Zoya, her helping you get inside the uber with words in bold that read “Lead singer of the band The Legion has been found with a mysterious woman”.

You: What. The . Fuck.

Tag List: @uzumakioden , @kairorow , @bumbercar , @aesculapi , @anashouto , @watashiwaglr38 , @almond11milk

Comment on this post if you wish to be on the tag list for this series! This way you’ll be easily notified for when other episodes are released.

[acanth3]

The Sound Of The Stars English Translation

EPISODE 3/8

Mika: Fuuu…what a relief the landlord arrived and Oshi-san regained his sanity ♪ 

Shu: How rude, I didn’t lose my mind.

However, it is true I caused problems for the owner of the flat, it wasn’t like me and I apologised for causing a fuss.

I was too absorbed in reading and now that you’ve interrupted me I can reflect on my actions.

Mika: The book that Oshi-san is readin’ looks creepy, whatcha doin’?

Shu: Didn’t I tell you before? I won't explain it twice to someone not listening.

Mika: Well, as I said earlier, why are you studyin’ about the universe?

Shu: I’m working on a piece related to space as its theme.

I’ve worked on many different art categories but I’m not as familiar with astronomy. 

I’m studying all types of literature from ancient times to modern history, all about the universe, its creation, the Earth, extraterrestrial beings, all as reference.

Mika: I see… that explains the books about aliens……

Wait, huh~!?

Shu: Non! Don’t raise your voice so suddenly while I haven’t had any sleep it’s uncomfortable! It’s echoing through my head.

Mika: I forgot why I even came here in the first place

I’m here to question you Oshi-san, why’d you send me to space travel without askin’ me?

Shu: W-what? Why are you so angry Kagehira?

Mika: Of course I can get angry! It’s not like in the past where I was a miserable doll!

Oshi-san never learns, does he? I’ve told you before Oshi-san, don’t do to others what you don’t like!

When I say I would do anythin’ for Oshi-san, there are obviously limits as to what I’d do!

If you were asked to go to space without bein’ told before, even Oshi-san wouldn’t agree with it, would you?

Shu: Ugh…that’s true, however…

This was a gift for Kagehira, and I wanted to do it secretly

Mika: Present…..?

Shu: Do you remember that movie we saw? 

Mika: Of course, it was hosted by your grandfather

Shu: My grandfather loved that performance very much, didn’t he? 

As an addition for the winning prize there was a choice if we wanted something else. 

Mika: Wow~ Even though your inheritance is already a large amount and considered as a reward, your grandfather is generous too, isn’t he?

Shu: That’s why it’s also important to my grandfather. 

After figuring out the truth surrounding my grandfather, I stored those memories away.

I figure my grandfather was more pleased with what we did than I thought. 

Mika: So that’s why it was an additional reward, and you chose the story about me going to space?

Shu: That’s why I asked my grandfather and no one else, right?

If this is considered an additional reward, I’ll have no idea what to do when I get my grandfather’s inheritance.

So that’s why I told my grandfather I wanted to use the reward to make Kagehira happy. 

Mika: …Yeah? No, wait, why did you choose space travel as a gift?

When I never asked for somethin’ like that?

Shu: You don't have to be so shy, Kagehira. I remember how you used to talk in your sleep.

Mika: What~...I dont remember that at all!,

…..Oh! You remembered what I said durin’ the festival?

It’s true that I told Oshi-san “I want to be star~” but…

Shu: How could I forget? I don’t make empty mistakes

That was during the festival when ‘Fine’ defeated us and we lost everything then failed. 

Mika: …..?

Shu: No way, you really can’t remember!? That night you told me the dream you wished for in the future while watching the night sky, yes?

Mika: Nope, can’t remember it.

But it’s true my childhood dream was to go to space, it’s not strange the word might have gotten around…

Shu: Oh, is that right? Well, even now that dream hasn’t changed.

Mika: Um well…now my dream is to be an artist who can stand side by side together with Oshi-san. 

Until now, I forgot all about my dream of goin’ to space. 

Shu: N-no way..!?

So, what you're saying is I initiated too quickly without even thinking!?

For Kagehira’s dream, all my effort I worked hard on has been in vain…..?

Because my grandfather’s money wasn’t enough for travelling into space, I thought of all other types of plans to fund money…

Mika: Nghh, dont look so sad, Oshi-san! I’m happy you thought of me and got a present ready

When I was little, sure I had a dream to go to space, but now…

Shu: I don’t need your comfort! It’ll only bring out more of my salvation and misery .

Now, I’m the stupid man! As if I’m on a solo comedy stage!

Mika: Noo~! Don’t be so discouraged Oshi-san!

Ah, it’s noisy again, the landlord is back!?

Shu: “I’m sorry for creating noise again.”

Nagisa: …..Bonjour. Valkyrie’s so innocent, it makes me smile like a baby ♪ 

Jun: I heard loud voices outside, I thought it was a rave~?

Mika: Huh, Ran-senpai and Jun-kun?

[misc-obeyme]

for the event thingy.. barbie x (your mc or just generic mc depending on what youre comfortable with) !!! authors choice but i do have a very strong preference towards hurt/comfort

🐈‍⬛

Hello there, 🐈‍⬛ anon!

I apologize for the wait on this. I went back and forth for a bit. I couldn't decide if I wanted to actually use my MC or not... but then I had ideas for a general MC, so I ended up doing that lol. However, I admit that I've never written anything involving Ciaran headcanon style. Maybe I should? I've also never posted any writing featuring Ciaran on this blog. I dunno, if people want to see it, maybe I will. They do have their whole own story. ANYWAY, I quite liked writing this one but as usual I am Barb biased lol and I went with hurt/comfort!

Thanks for participating!

COZY COMFORTS EVENT

GN!MC x Barbatos

Warnings: none

There was a time long ago when Barbatos let himself be unrestrained. It was a path that led only to heartache, so he closed himself off. By the time you arrive in his life, he is used to being in the background. He's used to helping, to supporting, to observing, never stepping into the spotlight himself or only at the request of others. You fascinate him, just like you fascinate every demon you seem to come across, but he's content to watch you from afar. He will indulge himself with tea party invitations and learning your favorite foods, but always he keeps that distance between you.

Sometimes Barbatos wonders what would happen if he was more proactive in his feelings for you. At night, when the world is sleeping, he thinks about having you there in his arms. He thinks about how full his heart would feel with you there, snugly pressed against him, slow sleeping breaths and a soft heartbeat. It's painful when he snaps back to his reality - his empty room, alone without you. It's at these times that he considers things like a confession or simply a way to indicate to you that his feelings extend beyond friendship.

Barbatos always shuts that down come morning. When he's bustling about the castle, working to look after the Young Master, preparing for another day at RAD, fulfilling all of his butler duties, it's easier to push all those thoughts and feelings aside. He can focus on who he knows he is, who he chose to be, holding it all in so he can be the very best at his job. There's too much for him to do and he finds he doesn't have time to worry about such silly things as feelings. And anyway, he's always been happy with helping you from a distance. He still gets to see you, to watch you flourish, to spend some time with you. It's more than enough.

But it isn't. And he knows it. And he doesn't admit that to himself until he starts to notice some little things. They don't pass him by, not for a second, because he notices everything about you. That's why he sees it the instant there's something new in your eyes when you look at him. He hears the change in your voice when you speak his name - it's become softer, more profound. These are subtle things and he watches them for a time before you make some bolder choices.

One day you show up at the castle unexpectedly with some tea for him. The little Ds usher you into the kitchen where you blush and stammer your way through presenting him with your gift. He smiles at you and accepts it graciously. He's about to offer to make some for you, but you run away like a startled deer - to nervous to stay with him anymore. His reaction to this episode is complicated. He had noticed your change, but this…

Barbatos agonizes over what to do next. He never once suspected, in all those lonely nights of longing for you, that you might end up returning his feelings. But he can't deny it now. The sweet blush on your face, the way you couldn't meet his eyes, and when you practically sprinted out of the kitchen, it was all too much for him to ignore. He couldn't just pretend he didn't know anymore. And his own heart wouldn't stop thudding whenever he thought of your smile.

In the end, Barbatos chooses to confess to you. Your own nervousness indicates to him that you might not be very likely to confess to him. And now that he knows how you feel, he finds himself unexpectedly impatient. He's spent enough time pining after you, even if you weren't aware of it. He doesn't want you to have to pine for him, not when there is no reason for it. He wants to see you safe and happy in his arms.

It's a simple statement. He loves you with all that he is, MC. He loves you more than he ever thought possible. Please tell him that you feel the same. Please tell him that he interpreted your feelings correctly. Tell him that you'll let him hold you, that you'll let him listen to the beating of your heart. If you say yes, Barbatos will never hold back from you again.

cozy comforts | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[earthry]

How to Tempt Your Papas (Headcanons)

How to get your papas home early, inspired by this post (also mentioned in Copia's section).

sfw mostly, a little spicy imagery in some parts, gn!reader

Primo

Primo has such a soft spot for you. All you really have to do is send him some really sappy message telling him that he makes you so happy and you love him very much and he just melts.

He’ll send an equally long message about how he feels the same, how he loves you without requisite and that you make him want to be a better man every day of his life. That’s your hook and line. 

For the sinker, send him a selfie of you in one of his sweaters all cozy in bed with a empty space beside you with a text saying ‘I miss you so much, I’m so cold and lonely without you :(‘ no matter how cheesy you think it is, it will capture good ol’ peepaw’s heart.

He’ll go ‘Oh no :( I left my dearest all alone, how could I? Shall I come home early tonight, amore mio?’ And voilà he’s home in less than half a hour. Mission successful. 

Secondo

You’d think if you send nudes it’ll rile him up enough to come home and have his wicked wiles with you but no. This man is shameless. He’ll get off right then and there to your picture and send one back of his handiwork with a promise to absolutely ruin you later for trying to tempt him. 

The first time you do this you learn that while it is a good motivator, it does not get him home any faster. Kind of backfires because when he sends you a well-framed shot of himself in hand entirely spent and messy, you're the one getting all hot and bothered now.

What really gets him home quickly is your home cooking. Make any authentic dish (especially with his mom’s recipe) and mans will be home in less than 20 minutes because that shit is fire when it’s hot out the oven.

He knows if he waits it’ll either get soggy or cold and he hates re-heating food. If you make his favorite he’ll be back in even less time.

Terzo

Where nudes don’t bring Secondo back, it’ll send Terzo packing for home. He’ll be back so fast you barely have time to put your phone down. He is so enthusiastic and most times it feels like he just can’t get enough of you.

Sure, he could wait until he’s done with his work to go home to you, glance at his phone every so often to motivate himself to finish quicker, but where’s the fun in that? His tesoro’s ready for him and who is he to keep them waiting?

He’ll dump his work onto some poor unsuspecting sibling of sin or ghoul and be out the door in seconds.

While it's very effective, you should be prepared to follow through with this man

Alright. For my ace-spectrum lovelies and those who feel uncomfortable with the idea of sex, I love you and you are so valid. Your method of choice will be Italian Soap Operas.

Every night before bed you'll watch a few episodes of a soap opera together, following along and commenting on outrageous choices or acting and pointing this out to each other.

Tell him if he doesn't come home, you're gonna start it without him. If that doesn't seem to get his butt moving, send another text ten minutes later saying 'do you want spoilers' or 'i did not expect that to pan out this way' or something about the episode coming up and he will respond with keysmashes and be on the way in no time.

Copia

Rat photos. Send him cute photos of his rats and he will cave and want to go home.

He’s a hard worker so sometimes he pulls all nighters and then just stays in the office for the whole next day as well. To lure him back to make sure he’s taking care of himself and getting food and sleep, make pancakes.

Make some for you and him and then tiny pancakes for the rats and take a picture. Tell him they’re waiting on him to eat together! They’re starving! But they really wanna wait for their papa to have breakfast together. Copia is home in minutes. 

You can also send vaguely threatening (but not really) texts with a blurry photo of his beloved rats (like this post that I love very much) with a text saying “come home or she/he gets it”. He’s not worried that you’ll actually do anything to his babies, but he’ll still want to come home faster because fuck that’s really cute and funny of you.

[ms-cartoon]

Reason’s why I gradually started to hate Stolas from Helluva Boss

So some time ago there was a friend that asked me why I hated Stolas so much. At that time, I couldn’t think of a valid reason, mostly because it was just very few reasons. To them, those reasons weren’t valid enough. This was back when episode 2 season 1 was uploaded, but now that we’re already in season two and we’re about to get our 4th episode, HB has now given me PLENTY of reasons to despise Stolas and call him a bad character. So allow me to make a list. I can go from the first to the latest episode;

EP 1 S1, Murder Family

-- Stolas was watching Blitzo in a scuffle through his bath bubbles, which means he knew Blitzo was in danger, but still decided on calling him at the worst time! “Oh, when isn’t it a bad time, Blitzy~~~?” Umm, I dunno.... Maybe when some crazy psychopath is NOT chasing him with a gun!!! Did he even consider that he would’ve gotten Blitzo killed, and all just to make some stupid deal???  And besides, from what I’ve seen in episode 6 (which I’ll get into later) Stolas was so upset that Blitzo and the rest of IMP got caught by humans, he dropped an f-bomb. And now looking back in ep 1, he doesn’t even seem to care when Blitzo is chased by humans. If getting in trouble on earth like that is such a big deal, why couldn’t Stolas just wait to talk with Blitzo until after his job was done? 

-- Speaking of said deal, Stolas agreed that he would let Blitzo keep the book in exchange for taking it back to take care of whatever was necessary and agreeing to spend one night each month having sex with him.

Alright, there are two things wrong with this. So, first off... Stolas decided on making a deal like this while seemingly knowing fully well Blitzo didn’t want anything to do with him. He knows how uncomfortable Blitzo is around him, about how disgusted and disturbed he is by his flirting but will still make Blitzo agree to this deal because he’s just that horny for him, regardless of how creeped out Blitzo’s is. And he knows Blitzo didn’t have much of a choice in that moment because, well he’s stuck in a predicament while on the phone with Stolas. I guess he might as well just go ahead and make it a deal so he could get the call over with (Or just frikin hang up on him). And also because Blitzo really needs the book to make it to the living world to finish his job.

.....And we’re supposed to believe Stolas actually “cares” for Blitzo?

And here’s the second problem; Looking back on it, this deal is completely pointless now!!! As it turns out, the grimoire isn’t the only access to the living world. In episode 1 of season 2, it’s revealed that there are magical crystals that demons could use to appear on earth anytime and any place they want. So in a way, Blitzo DID have a choice. He could’ve used those Asmodean crystals to go to the living world to continue his business. And sure, maybe it wouldn’t be that easy for him to get his hands on one. But even if that were the case, why not hire someone who does have Asmodean crystals?? Like - I dunno... a succubi perhaps???

Heh! No wonder Verosika and her peers we’re able to travel to earth so easily. Asmodean crystals are willingly given to succubi, which means that they also can go to Earth anytime they want with no issue. Blitzo could’ve at least just hired a succubus or something to help him have access to the living world. Why not do that, instead of having to agree to this deal where you have to have to continuously give the book back and get laid on the same night with a horned-up demon prince, especially when you don’t want to, which would only make your job harder than easier???

(And before some of you bring this up if you’re gonna, I know Blitzo has no room to feel uncomfortable with Stolas making advances towards him since that was kinda his fault. HE was the one that came onto him and decided to go through with sleeping with him outta pity. Even if it was to just to distract him so he could steal the book and leave, he still did it. And now that it happened, he has Stolas continuously flirting with him. I only brought up that Blitzo was feeling uncomfortable about it because that’s what the show made it seem like to us at that time. It wasn’t even hinted that Blitzo was the first to make a move. They just totally retconned that fact. I’m only just stating these based off of how I saw it at the time the episodes were aired.)

My whole point about this is, Stolas is pretty much taking advantage of Blitzo, manipulating him into agreeing to this deal, knowing full well that Blitzo (kinda) doesn’t have any choice in the matter since it would cost him to keep his business going and Stolas could drop this deal and never let Blitzo keep the book. 

 -- Calling Blitzo “My little Imp”. It’s not cute...

-- Him describing how he’ll screw Blitzo (eg. every time his words are bleeped out). This was supposed to be comedic, and while I did smile slightly the first time it happened, all it did was make me feel awkward and disturbed. Those were just the start of my disdain for Stolas. Believe me, it doesn’t end there. So, moving on....

EP 2 S1, Loo Loo Land

-- “I can not believe you slept with an imp! IN OUR F*CKING BED!!!”

“It was unexpected! I didn’t have time to book for a motel.”

Dude - what do you mean it was unexpected? That makes no sense, especially now that we learned you invited Blitzo into your room instead of having him kicked out. Even when he tried to make advances toward you, you still could’ve prevented that from happening. You had the full authority to make him stop and kick him out. I don’t care how drunk you were when it happen. And you didn’t have time for a motel?? More like you weren’t planning on it!! And besides, you’re a demon prince!! I’m pretty sure you could’ve opened up a portal to teleport into another location when you wanted.  All this man is doing making excuses to cover his feathers and they’re not even valid!!

-- Stolas, as I may have established more than a few times already, is a terrible father!! There are a few reasons for this, but one of them being that he doesn’t listen to his daughter. And it’s almost sad, because he’s actually trying to bond with her (sorta). He suggested that he and Octavia go to Loo Loo Land because she liked it when she was a kid. But she’s 17 and doesn’t really care for that anymore, so she tells him no. But he still insists on taking her there, not even hearing her out!

“Let’s go to Loo Loo Land!”

“I’d rather kill myself.”

“That’s the spirit, anything better than staying in this house. Let’s go!”

It’s like he completely brushed off what she was telling him!! I don’t know if this was just for comedic effect or not, but this would count as a good example of Stolas being a bad father as he doesn’t listen to his daughter and is inconsiderate of her feelings.

-- Notices that his imp butler is injured (due to Stella’s rage) and doesn’t even bat an eye at it. Once again, probably for comedic effect, but this just goes to show how non-caring Stolas is of the imp race. The only reason why Blitzo is an exception is because he’s good at sex.

-- Didn’t Stolas just say, “Why don’t we go to Loo Loo Land? Just the TWO OF US?” Which would only imply that he intended to spend some time only with his daughter and nobody else?? Well, he just lied straight to her face!

-- The so-called Demon Prince wants to arrange for security for him and his daughter. He knows damn well he don’t need no security, but Blitzo is the one he decides to call for this arrangement. I think we all know why he really called him specifically.

-- “We’re rich and our hot.”

Referring to your 17-year-old daughter as “hot”. Can’t leave that outta my Stolas sh*t list. Not really something you should say in front of her. Or especially about her.

-- “I’m going to call the only man who can f*ck me.” 

“Hello my big-d*cked Blitzy~~”

Again, not something you should say in front of your daughter!!!

-- Y’all I can’t stress this enough, but this is one of his main issues. The whole time he’s supposed to be spending time with Octavia and putting his attention on her, he’s flirting with Blitzo. Making sexual remarks at him, touching him, trying to get his attention while he’s working, “Blitzy” this, “Blitzy” that, “Blitzy” blah blah blah. Not only is he hardly paying attention to her, he’s doing all of this IN FRONT OF HER!! Not even noticing her grudging reactions or bitter behavior! It’s like he thinks she’s totally okay with her father being a flirt in public, especially with the man he cheated with on her mother.

-- Stolas can’t tell the difference between tears of joy and tears of terror with his daughter’s reaction to Robo Fizz.

-- Is saved by Moxxie and Millie, even though he didn’t need to be, and expects to be body-guarded like he’s a damsel in distress.

-- “Where’s Blitzy? He’s my night and shining armor! Not you... little-o ones!”

Bro-? Shut up and go find your daughter!

-- Doesn’t realize Octavia is feeling bad until she’s crying about it.

-- Makes excuses for his actions, but the show is gonna go ahead and make Octavia forgive him and just be worried about him leaving her so we could be okay with his actions and move on.

-- Decides now he wants to go ahead to turn somebody into stone even though he could’ve done it with a flick of a wrist tons of times before. I know he invited Blitzo to be his bodyguard and he was already doing most of the work, but he only invited him just to have him around and be a flirt like he always is. He really didn’t care about Blitzo protecting him. So yeah, he still could’ve protected himself and his daughter at least once before now.

Ep 5 S1, Harvest Moon Festival

-- Father of the Year here is gonna go right back to continuing his affair with Blitzo!!! That whole conversation between him and his daughter was just in one ear and out the other because the writers are just so desperate to want this ship to happen. And we just HAVE to have fanservice.

-- “My Grimoire shouldn’t be lent out to itty bitty imps, like yourself.”

Then maybe you could... I dunno... Drop the deal and stop exchanging the book????

He mentions that his grimoire is oh so important as if it shouldn’t be in the hands of just anyone, but has no problem willingly giving it Blitzo because he’s just that down and dirty. What does he even need that book for anyway??? We rarely see him use it!! When he does have it, he’s mostly just holding it... and that’s it. And we only see him use it for magic that one time at the festival. He doesn’t read it or even study it. If this book is so valuable to you sir, then ACT LIKE IT!! He could’ve used it as a study guide for Octavia, who’s supposed to be the next heir to the throne. If he’s not even gonna use it for himself, he could teach his daughter how to use it or cast spells with it. And no - a stupid Instagram post is NOT gonna cut it (especially when it’s not even canon).

-- Uses Blitzo’s horns to put out a cigar.... not cool.

-- Stolas invites Blitzo to the harvest moon festival for no reason other than to see him there and flirt with him. He says that it will be fun, as if the last time he invited Blitzo somewhere with him was a blast, but nobody was having fun but him. And the whole idea was for him to spend time with his frikin daughter!!

-- The whole time Stolas is talking to Blitzo, it doesn’t even seem like he’s flirting or being cute with him. He’s more or less just mocking him. (eg. pinching his cheeks and using his horns to put out a cigar.) Seriously, why does everyone act like this character is such a saint and is just as sweet as Charlie from hazbin?? He’s frikin awful!! He doesn’t care in the slightest about imps! He’s not even nice to Moxxie or Millie and he hires imps as his servants/slaves.

-- Don’t get me wrong, if y’all wanna love Stolas, then by all means, frikin ADORE HIM!! I don’t want to offend or insult anybody who does like him. But there is no way you can look passed all the bullsh*t he pulls and just act like he’s so sweet. Viv says that Stolas is flawed and is trying to get better and that’s how we’re supposed to see it. But all I see is a character being a selfish douche and staying a selfish douche while acting like the victim of a heinous crime and trying too hard to make us feel bad for him simply by “caring” about his daughter even though he neglects her and pretending he genuinely loved Blitzo all along and simply wants love from him too, even when he doesn’t deserve it because all he ever did was manipulate him and take advantage of him, seeing him as a sex toy and not a person with feelings! And what pisses me off about this is that he rarely gets reprimanded for his actions. When he does, he’ll start crying while feeling bad for himself and the show tries to make us feel bad for him. What’s worse about this is that he never learns either!! For real though, no matter how bad Stolas’s character is, most people in the fandom won’t even take the time to realize it or will probably look past it, as long as Stolas gets his happy ending with Blitzo. Like I said, I don’t wanna offend anyone, but if y’all think the relationship is anything along the lines of healthy or innocent, then your definition of love must be twisted.

-- “I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor.”

I’m not gonna hear this from a dude who uses his imp servant as a stress ball.

-- Lol! Bro just keeps stealing the microphone from Wally and interrupting him.

-- He reads a book about how to f*ck imps at dinner while his daughter is still at the table. And no, it doesn’t matter if she didn’t notice, it’s still not very appropriate.

Ep 6 S1, Truth Seekers

-- Stolas only had like less than a few seconds of screen time. He might as well not even show up.

-- Jumps in to save Blitzo and the others. That’s good, but then he adds on “My Impish little plaything” Reminding us that he sees Blitzo as a sex toy.

-- “Are you little creatures not being careful. If you get in trouble, then I get in trouble! We don’t want that, do we?”

Then maybe you shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to save them???? I mean - we all know you we’re watching Blitzo the entire time like a damn stalker. And besides, YOU’RE the one who agreed to lend them the book. If you’re so worried about them getting in trouble, then you could just FORGET about the deal so they could figure out another way to travel to earth, they could get in trouble on their own, and it wouldn’t be your problem anymore! And if you were just gonna get that irritable about it, why didn’t you jump in to try and save Blitzo the first time he almost got killed on earth.

-- Why doesn’t he go ahead and kill the agents?? Why would he let them live?? Since you don’t want to get in trouble so badly, wouldn’t it be necessary for you to kill them. I didn’t think that DEMON PRINCE would be this big of a softie.

-- Bro uses his hands to open up a portal..... (why does he need his book again?)

-- Expected a “thank you” from Blitzo for saving him. This dude’s life was in jeopardy just now, and you’re asking for sex? Very appropriate of you sir. And why is Blitzo reciprocating this lust for him all of a sudden??? The entire season, all he’s ever done was reject Stolas, back-talking him, and showing him attitude. He responded to his constant flirtatious remarks with disgust. He didn’t even like him and was uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping with him just to keep the book. And now he’s suddenly getting turned on??

Obviously, this scene was only written in this episode by Viv as an excuse for more Stolitz fanservice. 

EP 7 S1, Ozzies

-- Stolas is feeling all sad and lonely, watching some corny soap opera while relating to the fact that the guy he has feelings doesn’t love him back...... Honey, ask me if I care. Blitzo would always tell you to f*ck off and you would respond with giggles and mockery. You should already know how uncomfortable he feels about you and most of the time, you don’t even care. What’s with the sudden depression??

-- Speaking of that, why does he suddenly have genuine feelings for Blitzo anyway?? You can’t tell me that he’s just now starting to love him out of the blue. You can’t even tell me he loved him at all this entire time!! The only emotion he’s ever had about Blitzo was nothing but pure lust!! He simply just wanted his d*ck. Not to mention he would look down on him like he does all the other imps.

-- The whole time during their date, Stolas is trying to converse with Blitzo, which is honestly surprising since the only time he ever talks to him is when he’s being a flirt and harassing him. You’d think I’d actually applaud him for that, except I can’t. Cuz, once again, where did this come from??? We didn’t get to see no type of development with Stolas at all. We didn’t get any episode of him slowly progressing to fall in love with Blitzo. Just more lust talk getting turned on.

-- How did Stolas not realize Asmodeus owned Ozzie’s? I think the title on it’s own should’ve implied as much. And besides, he should know that Asmodeus is a demon that represents lust and they’re in the lust ring.

-- Stolas sees Blitzo is pretty much getting laughed at and humiliated during the whole musical number and does nothing about it. Well, Blitzo kinda had it coming for not keeping his mouth shut and also spying on Moxxie and Millie, but I’m just proving a point that Stolas doesn’t even care about Blitzo like we’re supposed to think. He even hides behind his menu after getting called out by Asmodeus.  We are supposed to feel bad for him here right?? Because the writers are just showing me he doesn’t deserve it.

-- While we’re on that subject, why is he hiding behind his menu? Why is he feeling embarrassed about being seen with Blitzo and Ozzie telling everyone his business about it?? This was NOT the only time he was seen in public with Blitzo!! There was episode 2 at Loo Loo Land and episode 5 at the festival, and he openly flirted with Blitzo in public in BOTH of those episodes!!! Hell, he was holding Blitzo’s hand in front of that guard and the other demons waiting in line!! He was sitting at a table in the open where one or two people could’ve taken a glance at him talking to Blitzo!!! He has NO RIGHT to feel humiliated about getting laid with him! 

-- Trying his best to comfort Blitzo by holding his hand, talking to him, and inviting him in his home. He thinks that now would be the best time to cuddle with him after he tried to hide away from being seen with Blitzo. I don’t care what none of the fans say, Blitzo had every right to turn down Stolas and call him out on his bullsh*t. Most fans would say something like “NOO BLITZO!! DON’T BE LIKE THAT!!! STOLAS DOES CARE!! HE DOES LOVE YOU!!” Where the hell was this “love” you speak of the first few episodes these two were seen together??? No amount of cute nicknames, flirtatious remarks, and nightstands are ever going to sell the fact Stolas loved Blitzo.

-- He sits on his porch and starts to cry. We’re meant to feel bad and pity him, but all I’m doing is rolling my eyes.

EP 1 S2, The Circus

-- I don’t care how cute, uwu, or innocent they try to make little Stolas. Nothing in the world is ever going to make me change how I feel about him. He could be under three years old. Viv is pretty much just trying to force cutesy wutsey stuff onto the audience so we could side with Stolas and feel bad for him. All the writers are trying to do at this point is make excuses for his actions and use this whole episode to say Stolas had every right to cheat on Stella and that he actually really loved Blitzo when he really didn’t.

-- It makes no sense that Blitzo and Stolas are around the same age anyway. I don’t fully understand how the whole age and birth thing works with demons in hell, but first off, Blitzo was initially supposed to be in his twenties, meanwhile, Stolas has lived for a LONG A** TIME. Like he was probably born in 4000 BC. He still would’ve been an adult even before the time Blitzo was born. But now they retconned it to Stolas being the same age as Blitzo and them meeting as children just so Viv could force this ship to happen.

--  No way in hell he fell in love with Blitzo at first sight. Viv and writers are really trying too hard to make this childhood friendship cute.

-- Goes along with Blitzo’s game to steal everything in the mansion and completely falls for his trick (did he ever get grounded for that?). 

-- Instead of having Blitzo kicked out because he should be nothing but a stranger to him at this point, he instead invites him to his room so the two can... catch up. Did Stolas ever find out about what Blitzo did when they were children?? If so, then why are you even being nice to this guy?? You cannot be that down and dirty for him.

-- It has been frikin TWENTY-FIVE YEARS since the last time these two have seen each other. Why’re they talkin’ like they’re old friends? They had that one playdate and never saw each other ever again. If anything, I don’t even think they should remember each other.

-- “I know it’s been a long time, but I have a very good memory.”

“What are you doing? I don’t even remember you’re name.”

“Wait, didn’t your name end in an “O”? I remember...”

Oh my god- DO YOU REMEMBER HIM OR NOT!!!???

-- We jump into this softcore scene way too fast. Kinda goes to show you how rushed this show is.

-- For a demon so powerful with standards, he seems to have no problem being submissive and letting Blitzo seduce him. Stolas is shown to be uncomfortable, continuously walking away from Blitzo when he's pursued and I'm sitting here like....you could just...stop him. Why do you keep running away from him when you can throw him out the window?? He's acting like some shy teenage girl who's about to have sex for the first time but secretly craves it and I couldn't help but cringe!! And the first time he did it was with his wife, which apparently wasn't as good. Like I said, I really don't care how drunk he was at that time. He is such an idiot.

-- These two haven’t seen or talked to each other in over twenty years, but suddenly this kinky owl is all for sleeping with him because he’s drunk and got bit in the neck. 

-- “It means so much that the one who wants me is my first-ever friend~~~”

First off, ew.... Second off, you two were never friends. You met him once, had that one playdate, and never saw each other again until now in your thirties.

-- Back in the second episode of the first season, when Stella found out about the affair, she confronted him about it and he tried to appease her and being submissive, saying that what happened with Blitzo was unexpected and making excuses, all the while being a little nervous at her rage. But in THIS episode, Stolas has the balls to rub it in Stella’s face and laugh, marking the affair as the first action of the divorce.

-- Even though he brought up said divorce, for some reason, these two are still living in the same house. Not even divorced yet!! What was the point in you laughing at her face like that if you weren’t even gonna go along with it??

-- He should’ve known that his book was stolen by the time Blitzo left! This means he should’ve realized that Blitzo only slept the night with him to take it and leave. Why are you even catching feelings for this dude?? He manipulated you twice!!!

-- Literally, screw this musical number....

-- Sings, “Was what we had all a comfortable lie?” or something like that. Basically, he’s saying, “Was your love for me all a lie?” Was it all a lie??? He certainly wasn’t playing hard-to-get, dumbass!! Blitzo was shown multiple times to be disgusted with you! He didn’t love you at all, and I’m sure you knew that!

-- Reads about Asmodean crystals. Possibly planning to give it to Blitzo so he could drop the deal. But he never does.

-- “The only reason why I put up with your constant cruelty was for that girl (Octavia) to live a normal life.”

Says the guy who had an affair and continues the affair, making the drama in his family much worse than it already was. What was the point in you two keeping up an image for Via? You already fight in front of her and that was bad enough. It should’ve been obvious to her from the get-go that you to hated each other. It doesn’t even seem like she cares at all about the divorce after this episode, so this could’ve been done a long time ago.

-- Decides NOW he wants a divorce even though it should’ve been done already.

EP 2 S2, Seeing Stars (are they even trying with these titles)

-- Makes a promise about something to his daughter and breaks it.

-- Doesn’t take the time to listen to Octavia when she’s trying to talk to him and instead wants to continue bickering with Stella over the phone like they’re a couple of middle-school ex-lovers. I mean, he could just hang up on her. He probably never even wanted to talk to her anyway.

-- “Via, can we talk about this later? Your mother is being a real B-I-T-C-H.”

For the third damn time... NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER!

-- Didn’t realize Octavia was gone until he was called about it and even somewhat blamed IMP for her taking the book and leaving instead of taking responsibility since he is the father and wasn’t paying attention to her. If I had to assume, he was probably still on the phone with Stella at the time and only decided to hang up because Blitzo was calling him, not when his daughter is trying to grab his attention.

-- Has the ability to turn into a human, but is useless without his book when it comes to other magic which sounds like total bullsh*t. He can turn people into stone, make portals, use telekinesis, fly, and turn into a giant bird demon. All WITHOUT a grimoire. He even says he can’t remember a spell for turning other demons into a human, but didn’t he say “I have a very good memory.” back in episode 6? Stolas is only useless when the plot wants him to be.

-- The entire episode, he spends more time with Blitzo and helping him with his issues instead of trying to look for his daughter. She had the possibility of getting into danger, but he’s more concerned with his friend with benefits and what he got going on? Some father.....

-- Is back... to flirting... with Blitzo. Clearly, he didn’t learn a damn thing in the last season. What exactly was he even singing about in the last episode?? They didn’t even talk anything out after the whole Ozzie’s incident!! And of course, the writers are gonna have Blitzo get all flustered and gain feelings for Stolas because they and the fans want this ship to happen soo badly.

-- When Blitzo is in danger, what’s the one thing the powerful demon prince does to save him?

-- Decides NOW to continue looking for Octavia?? Literally, f*ck off!

-- Octavia is forced to forgive Stolas despite his selfish behavior for the second time. Because neglecting your daughter, whether it be for your ex-lover or your walking booty call, is just very forgiving.

-- Screw this happy a** ending...

That’s pretty much the gist of why I think Stolas is a terrible character and why I hate him. I haven’t forgotten the recent episode that was just uploaded a couple of days ago. Believe me, that will be saved for another post I’ll be making soon.

So yeah, Stolas is a terrible character, a terrible person, and a terrible father. I don’t care how innocent or pitiful Viv or Adam make him out to be. At this point, all they’re doing is making excuses for his actions, making every other character around him terrible to make him look good, and forcing the Stolitz ship to happen without any progress or build-up. And God forbid Stolas is ever reprimanded for his actions! If he does, the writers will just butcher that in a way where Stolas is the victim and making him feel all bad for himself while not taking responsibility. Is this enough for you, anon???? I hope so, cuz at this point, it’s enough said.

[whyawonderwhatudo]

Okay so I HAVE to talk about the newest ep of Helluva boss, Full Moon.

Spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

I really loved the episode but damn did that last scene hurt! Going into the ep I kinda had the idea that the whole episode would feature around stolas and blitzø, so you can imagine my surprise when we saw the Cherubs!

Ngl, they always seemed holier than thou (pun intended) but its so interesting to me to see how 2 of the cherubs would justify their 'sins' and want for revenge, when angels are all supposed to be about love and forgiveness. Kinda hope Colin has some kind of redemption, the other 2 cherubs treated him awfully.

Loved how badass Luna was this episode tho! Was so worried they'd actually attack Blitzø only for Luna and M&M's to beat them back to the human world.

Also we love Fizz and Blitz' friendship!!

Okay but that whole conversation between Blitzø and Stolas was heartbreaking. It was so clear how apprehensive Stolas was while waiting, twiddling his thumbs and sitting on the bed, and he's been prepping himself for this talk all day.

And so has Blitzø, but he's come with the expectation of their transaction, and added with the addition of what Luna had said about him getting bored and no longer wanting to continue, of course he's scared when Stolas asks for the book back.

Stolas was so determined to make sure Blitzø understood how he felt, no longer wanting to make Blitzø feel obligated to sleep with him to get something out of it when he said 'Please don't say it like that.' Stolas probably felt this was the right choice more than ever when Blitzø said he'd do anything. And then look how sweet stolas looked when he was giving him the crystal.

This made me so sad because Stolas was so clear, in his feelings and intentions. Even with the crystal, Blitzø asked whether he wasn't good enough anymore or not, showing he does care. He was looking forward to his night with stolas, having preparing for it and doing a whole shopping trip. They both care, but because Blitzø could never believe Stolas actually loved him, he thought Stolas was joking.

It was so hard to watch when Blitzø started to mess around, thinking it was some kind of role play saying 'I love you' and all that, you could see the hurt on Stolas' face.

To be fair to Blitzø, he did need a moment to comprehend it was an actual confession, to truly see Stolas' feelings because it was such a contradiction to what he thought, but Stolas was so clear, of course he would take the joking as rejection, as Blitzø couldn't understand what he was really saying, until it was too late.

We can understand why Blitzø may have lashed out, thinking the way he does, but his words, his name calling of Stolas was so heartbreaking, you could hear Stolas' Heart and hope shatter when he said 'I think so highly of you Blitzø. I had no idea you thought so low of me.'

The miscommunication....

It's only after he can hear Stolas crying does Blitzø really get the memmo, he sees how he's messed up, but of course Stolas was so hurt, he wouldn't want to see Blitzø after that.

This was just so in character for them, to me at least. Stolas said everything right, but Blitzø took too long to understand his emotions, he lashed out and only after he lashed out did he understand what he did. By that point it was too late and Stolas sent him away....

I knew this breakup was coming, but I did NOT think it would hurt this much. Poor stolas..

Thanks for reading my ramblings lol, feel free to add to this with your own thoughts and opinions!

[she-karev]

Birth (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Two of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Head canon Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Here’s the final chapter for the story you guys and I will try to post the next one as soon as I can and until then enjoy and I always appreciate and like and a reblog!

Editors Note: Hey guys so I just learned how to make GIF’s and decided to reblog this beautiful chapter with a GIF I made myself. Let me know what you think.

Summary: Amber gives birth to a girl with Andrew by her side and Dr. Montgomery delivering.

Words: 1441

October 20th, 2022

Simone Griffith stands outside Amber DeLuca’s delivery room peeking through the transom on the closed door. It’s been six hours since she and DeLuca found out Amber was in labor. She was curious on how her chief resident was after her water broke causing Dr. DeLuca to have her close after his surgery and couldn’t help but go up and see how they are.

Also, after witnessing her grandmother have an Alzheimer’s episode, she wanted a reminder that there were good things in this world too, like babies being born. Alex Karev walks down the hall with a welcome home baby girl gift basket from him and Jo to give to Amber. He spots Griffith outside the room and clears his throat causing her to stand back and look at him.

“Dr. Karev hi I-I was just uh-”

“Spying on my sister while she’s trying to bring a new life into this world right this second?”

“…It looks weird, doesn’t it?”

“Yes!” Alex confirms causing her to look down in shame, “Is there a reason you’re doing this very weird thing?”

“I just…I just needed a reminder that there’s good things in this world too. And watching a birth happen in real time works more effectively than faith in humanity videos.”

Alex grins at that understanding where she’s coming from, “Yeah there is something magical about my baby sister becoming a mother.”

“That is all I am saying sir.” He motions for her to step aside and she does so. He walks inside the room to find Amber lying on her side in her bed with Dr. Montgomery behind her inserting the epidural catheter. Andrew is standing by her side and holding her hand as she groans at the needle insertion.

“Hey kid how are we doing?”

“Terrible! You’re lucky your ex-girlfriend knows what she’s doing otherwise I would judge her based on her poor choices from sleeping with you.” Alexs eyes widen at his sister’s knowledge of his and Addison’s past relationship. Andrew looks at him in shock as well just learning about this.

“Is this true or is it the hormones talking?”

Addison finishes the insertion and looks up at Alex in disgust, “You told her?”

“No! I swear I didn’t.”

Amber groans and lays on her back on the bed, “Oh please the nurses keep tabs on your love lives and they love to gush with me. They could write romance best sellers with Alex’s disaster of a love life. I mean I’m still at the Ava/Rebecca chapter and it is a doozy.” She turns to Addison, “For the record you could’ve done way better back then.”

“You know I’m in the room, right?” Alex points out before putting the pink basket on the table.

“I’m gonna check how dilated you are.” Addison sighs and feels the need to clarify to Amber while she does her cervix exam, “And for the record I didn’t date him. I found him attractive, I was horny and he was there. It was one time and I judge myself for it enough as it is.”

“I’m his sister I know how shameful you’d feel sleeping with him when he was an intern and an asshat.”

Addison grins at that and looks back at Alex who averts his eyes from the exam looking at the wall instead, “I like her.”

Andrew asks trying to comprehend it, “Wait you slept with your sister’s OB and you didn’t think to mention it?”

“You slept with my sister and I had to find out after the fact.” Alex bitterly points out.

“I didn’t even know she was your sister man.”

“And I didn’t think my ex was gonna be delivering my sister’s baby over ten years later but here we are.”

Amber inhales and exhales in annoyance at their petty squabble, “Hey boys?” They turn to her and she looks disheveled while Addison checks her cervix, “I need you two to read the room because I have enough on my plate right now, I don’t need to mediate an argument between my husband and brother.” They quiet and look at her concerned as she continues, “I am just trying to squeeze a giant Escalada out of a compact FUCKING PARKING SPOT!” The boys look scared by her last exclamation.

“Very good.” Addison calmly says, “Swearing helps a lot, you’re at 7 centimeters.” Addison stands back up covering Amber with a blanket.

“Ugh I hate you tell me when I can start pushing this sucker out. Speaking of suckers exiting, Alex get out.” He looks offended by that as Amber continues, “You dropped off the gift and unless you can transport my daughter out of my body you are useless to me. And do me a favor. Let it be known that the only people allowed in this room are Dr. Montgomery and the people who provided genetic material to this baby otherwise they are gonna be in a world of hurt, now out!” Amber points at the door causing Alex to nod and pat Andrew on the back seeing the road ahead of him.

“God speed.”

Andrew nods, “Yeah.” Alex gets out of the room and closes the door behind him.

TWO HOURS LATER

I scream out loud as the next contraction comes and push per Dr. Montgomery’s instructions. While this happens, Andrew is by my side holding me encouraging me. My lower region is covered by blue tarps with Addison behind the curtain delivering my daughter, out of all of us I think she has the easiest job in the room because Andrew is no doubt in pain from me holding his hand with monster strength that’s coming from being in labor.

“Good Dr. DeLuca! Okay at the next contraction I’m gonna need you to really bear down but not until I tell you.”

I whimper at the never-ending cycle, “Oh god come on! I know my brother rejected you but don’t take it out on me!”

Andrew rubs my arm to soothe me, “It’s gonna be okay, you’re doing great, it’ll be over soon.”

I am too in pain and too mad at him to take in his soothing words, “If you think we’re having sex again after this you got another thing coming Andrew DeLuca!”

He chuckles at that and kisses the top of my head wiping the sweat off my forehead, “I think we’re stalled in the sex department until this kid goes off to college.”

I chuckle lightly at that but then I stop and gasp as I feel another contraction coming, “Oh god not again!” I scream as the pain courses through my body.

“Okay one last push Amber!” Dr. Montgomery instructed me and even though it hurts I do as she says, pushing with all my might. Andrew is holding me and encouraging me to push through my piercing screams. After what seems like forever, I feel relief in my body and slump back down on the bed panting for breath. I hear a baby crying and I felt my heart stop as I look down to see Dr. Montgomery holding our small, wriggling and bloody daughter already crying her lungs out. Addison is smiling and laughing in joy, “There she is!”

I’m so shocked by what’s happening I’m laughing and crying at the same time, “Oh my god.”

I can see Andrew laughing in joy too with tears glistening in his eyes, “Look at her oh my god you did that.”

“You helped.” I remind him. He takes the scissors from Dr. Montgomery and cuts the umbilical cord. After that Addison takes the baby to get her cleaned up and comes back a few moments later with our baby daughter wrapped in a baby blanket. She’s crying on the way until she reaches my arms and I hold her shocked at how tiny she is. I smile down at her still overcome with so much love and awe over this tiny human that made the last eight hours of pain I’ve endured so worth it, “Hi. Oh my god she’s…she’s…”

“She’s perfect.” Andrew finishes and I nod as he smiles. I can see the love in his eyes and grin at him.

“Here let’s go to daddy.” I carefully place the baby in Andrew’s arms and he handles her so carefully, no doubt shocked at how light she is too. He croons at the baby speaking words of affection in Italian cradling her head, “Ciao bambina, sono tua mamma e tuo papà.”

I sniffle and grin at the sight of both of them before cooing at our daughter, “Hi welcome to the world. Right now your the only pure and innocent thing in it at this very moment. And I promise we are gonna name you by the time you come home.” Andrew chuckles at that and we just enjoy this moment together as a family.

The Babys Name Here

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 31

word count - 1.2k warnings - none Summary: The team gets called in for another case, and Penny tries to give Lina some advice.

After being lulled into a routine with another delightfully boring week, Spencer and I spend Saturday afternoon on my couch, watching Doctor Who. Just as we're about to start our third episode of the night, Spencer's phone rings.

"Hello?" he answers, then continues. "Hey, Hotch. We do? I'll be in as soon as I can. Bye."

He looks at me with a bit of a tight smile, and says, "Well, we got two episodes in. I'd say that's still a success." I let out a small laugh as my phone rang.

Answering, I see it's Penny. "Time for us to uphold peace and justice again, my young padawan," she says over the phone.

With a small grin, I stand up and start preparing to come in, then say, "I'm on my way, Master Yoda."

There's a small huff on the other end of the line and Penny half-whines, "Awww, I was hoping I was Obi-Wan..."

Snorting, I say, "I'll see you soon, Pen." then hang up as Spencer and I finish getting ready.

Rushing to catch the Metro, we quickly board, and I slide into an empty seat near Spencer.

On the way in, we discussed the episodes we managed to watch. "Y'know, I think I remember a movie that had a similar solution to aggressive alien life coming to Earth, only they were nitrogen-based and destroyed by selenium. They wind up defeating the invasion using dandruff shampoo, since selenium sulfide is the main ingredient used!" I say with a giggle.

He raises his eyebrows and asks, "Oh? Is the movie any good?"

I flush and say, "Ah, well, 'good' is subjective...I think it's 'entertaining', at the very least..."

He chuckles and says, "Well, do you have this 'entertaining' movie?"

I grin and say, "I believe I do. Why, did you want to see it?"

He nods and says, "Yeah, I think I do. If only to see if the science checks out. And to see how 'entertaining' it is."

I snort at that, and say, "Alright, maybe we can watch it sometime. Sound good?"

Spencer grins and says, "Yeah, that sounds good."

Making our way through the building and to our floor, Spencer asks, "So, you're starting your training soon, right?"

I nod and say, "Yeah, probably after this case. I'm nervous, I hope I can learn quickly enough,"

Spencer gives me a small smile and says, "I don't think Hotch would have offered you the choice if he didn't think you were capable. Trust me on that,"

Unsure what to say to that, I just nod and give him a tiny smile back. As the rest of the team started trickling in, we headed to the Round Table to hear the details of the case.

*************

After we finish up the case, Penny gives me a ride home. As she drives and sings along with the radio, I text Spencer.

How was Philly, Doc?

I look out the window, watching the lights blur as we pass by until I hear my phone go off.

Alright, I suppose. Spent more time in the police station than anywhere else, though. How are things back there?

Smiling, I text back:

Oh, same old, same old. So, what was it like working with THE Max Ryan? You sounded really hyped about it when we first came in.

As I wait for a response, I lean my head back and briefly close my eyes. I try to stifle a yawn, and Penny mutters, "Oh, don't you start doing that now..." making me giggle. As soon as I hear the notification, I pull out my phone again.

It was...an experience. He's so knowledgeable. And while I'm glad to have gotten the chance to work with him, I'm ALSO looking forward to sleeping in my bed tonight. And thinking about anything other than the case...

I smirk slightly as I type out my reply.

Fair. I think I'll still be seeing you Monday, at least for the ride in. Hope you have a good night, Doc.

After a few minutes of silence, Penny's voice breaks through my thoughts. "So, how's the Mighty Professor?" she says, smoothly steering the car around a corner.

"He seems ok. Tired, but what else is new?" I say, rubbing my temples to alleviate the tension that grew as the day wore on.

She nods and hums, staying silent for a few minutes. As she slows down to stop at a light, she asks, "So, when do you plan on asking him out?"

I open my mouth to say something, close it, then think for a moment and say, "Probably never. Pen, I have no idea if he likes me like that, and I'm not asking without knowing if he's at all interested in me. I've been burned before, trying to ask out someone I liked without knowing if he liked me back. Pretty sure I'd rather have a root canal than go through that again..." 

She sighs and says, "Lina, come on! You two are practically inseparable, what'll it take for you to realize he likes you?!" 

I huff out a small laugh and say, "For him to actually say those words? That way there's nothing to misinterpret?" 

Penny shakes her head a little and says, "Oh, sweetie. You should probably say something soon, or someone else will come along and snatch him right up..."

"I..." I begin, trailing off as I try to think of how to finish my thought. Sighing, I continue. "I know, but I just...can't, not yet at least. I don't know, it's only been a couple months, and Spencer seems like the kind of guy who takes a while to really warm up to someone. I can understand that, and I don't wanna push him. I just...hope I can tell when he's ready..."

Penny hums and nods her head, and my phone goes off once more. 

I'll try. Have a good night, Lina. See you Monday.

I sigh as I read the text, looking out the window. The car starts to slow down, and I realize we're in front of my apartment building. I turn to Penny, and she says, "Well, you're here, baby doll. Remember what I said. I don't know how much more pining I can watch."

I give her a small grin and a hug, and as I start to get out of her car, I say, "Thanks, Pen. I...I'll try not to wait too long before making a move. I just...really want to be sure, y'know?" 

After sighing, she gives me a nod and waves goodbye to me, and I head up to my apartment for the night.

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Story masterlist

[rxyhiraeth]

SO PJO CAME OUT TODAY

and i have a lot of thoughts

this is just me screaming into the void about this show that i’ve been excited about since it’s been announced.

i haven’t personally really read the books in a bit, so if i am remembering things incorrectly or forgetting if something was in the books or not, forgive me (and correct me and my terrible memory)

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD

EPISODE 1: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

first off - chapter titles. i knew about this a while ago but im so happy we are doing this

getting the whole speech from percy in the beginning oh we are so back

blackjack??? that was blackjack right??

MYTHOMAGIC CARDS

if this gets us actual mythomagic cards we can buy, so help me god. i’m gonna spend all my money on them

i will never be able to speak highly enough about sally jackson. best fictional mom ever and i love her with all of my heart.

the “hold fast perseus. brave the storm” parallel at the beginning and end of the episode oh i’m sick to my stomach

the fountain scene felt a little… goofy? from what i remember percy just remembers her ending up in the fountain,like it sounds like he kinda blacks out. maybe that’s actually how it was in the books, but i did imagine it differently.

grover and brunner being the KINGS of gaslighting

percy is stronger than i could ever be if grover exposed me like that i couldn’t talk to him for like a year.

the biggest issue i’ve seen everyone talk about: gabe. i understand WHY they made him how he is in the tv show. it’s a disney show, they can’t have him be completely book accurate putting his hands on sally and threatening percy for money so he can play poker, but i feel like this doesn’t fit with how he ends up at the end of book 1. maybe we will see a more ‘evil’ side to him through the news interviews and stuff, or he will have a different ending, but i feel like the way he acts now doesn’t justify his end in book 1 that i expect to see in the tv show.

sally in the rain listening to olivia rodrigo i love her so much 😭😭😭

d’angelos??? it’s spelled differently but reference perhaps? i cannot WAIT to see nico i hope we get to see him in the casino

i didn’t get this until i saw someone point it out but the cuts to black were ends of chapters!! and it makes so much more sense. i will say it feels a bit odd?? but i honestly prefer it more as someone who has read the books.

i find the whole sally explaining the gods to percy interesting. it fits for the tv show more, but i love book percy just getting forced into camp half blood without any real knowledge just like “what the fuck is going on”

“Like… like Jesus?” PERCY PLS

i love this grover reveal, but the BEST will forever be the musical

“She was a fury!” “YOU’RE a furry, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?!?”

grover dropping the fact he is 24 in a super intense scene is very grover

that first shot of thalia’s tree lit up by the LIGHTNING gave me CHILLS

the entire minotaur scene was incredible. sally’s speech to grover and percy. percy killing the minotaur. insane

not to mention sally taking percy’s jacket to throw off the minotaurs scent? such a cool choice

EPISODE 2: I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

"you droll when you sleep" YUPPP MHMM YUP

ik that the whole 'Mr. D trying to use percy to get a drink' thing is supposed to be a little joke, but its also such a good way to explain the whole "gods can get their kids to steal shit for them because they can't do it themselves" without having a whole dramatic moment explaining it.

in my head I imagined the entire camp being very heavily wooded, maybe that's just the movies having some influence over me when it comes to visualization, but it was cool to see the camp in the actually valley in a very book accurate portrayal.

OH THE CABINS MY EYES WERE GLUED THE WHOLE TIME

THEY LOOK SO GOOD

this tv show has already captured the two personally traits of percy jackson: 1. he loves his mom 2. he hates the gods

the jelly beans

seeing Luke befriend percy and be his first friend at camp luke I am in your fucking walls

I personally feel like the way they have chosen to portray clarisse is quite different from the books, but I absolutely love it. i was not a fan of her for a while in the books, but I love her immediately in this version.

also did we get to 'see' the cloven council in tlt? I don't think we did, and I like seeing it in prep for sea of monsters.

the entire scene of percy praying to his mom breaks me. oh my god. favorite scene in the entire show so far. it breaks my heart he loves and misses her so much.

"I think I've made some friends here. like real friends" luke I have a gun

the whole bathroom scene. that's it.

ANNABETH

maybe its just different seeing all these characters portrayed well on the screen, but she feels super different than book annabeth but also exactly the same. im not 100% how to explain it but there is no one better to play annabeth than leah

I am so excited to see this slowburn all over again

"she my little sister" luke please

thalia name pronunciation how are we feeling team

i have 100% been pronouncing it the other way this whole time but oh well

"sunshine" hey! when we get the first "seaweed brain" I am going to go crazy

"percy's on it. when its time he's gonna be ready" are you sure about that luke

in the books the main 'introduction scene' we got with clarisse was the bathrooms, but this scene with her in the woods feel much more like an introduction scene and im not sure if this was done on purpose, but I love her and this scene.

annabeth. I cannot stress my love for her enough

annabeth pushing him into the water instead of him falling. love her

percy FINALLY finding a place he belongs only to be forced out on a quest for his dad that he fucking hates

"good kid" from tlt musical was so right

"I am Sally Jackson's son!" what if I just started eating glass rn

anyway I am absolutely obsessed with this show already. I am so sorry to anyone who doesn't want pjo on their feed you are getting it anyway.

if this show is your first introduction to the series. read the books! or at least the lightning thief. and for the love of god LISTEN TO THE MUSICAL. I cannot stress enough how good of a portrayal of the book it is and it is my all time favorite interpretation of the books (although this show may take that top spot soon).

[dandelionsxies]

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meowwww mew mow meow I LOVE SPRIGATITO

guess who i am and make me a little scenario with a fictional character 😈

Hi there @bung0u-pr3sch00l ! I think… a nice bungo stray dogs scenario for you!

CG!Chuuya and younger regressor reader

Getting ready for bed

Chuuya was a busy man, as an executive of the port mafia. But after meeting you, he always made time for his baby.

You, being the brave kiddo you are, managed to spend a lot of days at play dates or having fun on your own, but your papa would always be back for dinner time!

“Open up little one, say aah” he smiles softly at you while waiting patiently. He knew you struggled with food, so he always took his time and made sure you were okay. Even when you couldn’t manage to finish your meal, he would scoop you up into a hug, and whisper in your ear, “I’m so proud of you sweetie. You did so well! Papa is so proud of you for trying!”

Chuuya always trains in the mornings, which was perfect, because it means he’s always strong enough to carry you around! Picking you up from your seat at the table, and carrying you over to the couch.

“There we go, kiddo. We can watch a cartoon before bed, how’s that sound?” His smile is always gentle, and his voice is lowered while you start to get sleepy. He turns on your favourite cartoon and lets you snuggle up to him while you watch the episode.

“Okay little one, it’s bedtime now.” He says as the end credits roll. You whine a little, it’s too early and you’re a big kid! You can stay up later than this! But your little yawn tells Chuuya that it’s bedtime, and he picks you up gently and carries you to the bathroom.

He wipes your face gently using a warm flannel, and asks if you feel okay to brush your teeth tonight. When you aren’t sure, he coaxes you with some words of encouragement, “can you be super duper brave for me, baby? I’ll make it super quick.” In the end, you manage to let him brush your teeth for a few seconds before you can’t take any more, and he wipes your mouth clean whispering to you, “good kid, well done, you did so well! I’m so proud of you, little one, so proud”.

He picks you up and smooths your hair while he carries you to your bedroom. “Can you pick out your pajamas, little one?” He puts you down and points to your dresser. You pick out your favourite set and hand it to him.

“Good choice! Let’s get you changed, huh? All cosy for bed.” His warm smile is there again and you don’t fuss (much) as he helps you change out of your day clothes and into your comfy pajamas. “Look at you! You look so comfy!” He says to you, guiding you to your bed. He moves the sheets back and lets you crawl in, before covering you back up and tucking you in.

“All cosy?” He asks, but you whine. He notices immediately what’s wrong. Your stuffie is still sat on the blanket from your picnic earlier! He takes extra care picking it up and bringing it to you, tucking it in right next to you. “Do you want a paci, baby?” He asks. When you nod your head, he pulls one out from the drawer by your bed, slipping it into your mouth. He ca see that your eyelids are heavy, and he leans down and kisses you on the forehead.

“Papa’s gonna stay here until you’re asleep, okay baby?” His voice is low and comforting, as he turns the main light off and your nightlight on. Sat on the edge of your bed, he hums a lullaby to you while you drift off to sleep.

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Rewatch "The Vanishing of Will Byers" (Part 2 of 2)

Disclaimer: This is NOT a traditional review/analysis, but a collection of observations, brief commentary, favorite moments, and so on that I'm noting as I go through these episodes. All of these are just my opinions and/or theories, and can be subjected to change as the rewatch continues.

Observations:

I was under the assumption Brenner used food as a means of getting El to act the way he wanted her to, and would starve her as punishment if she dared to disobey him (hence Benny's comment here about El not being fed enough). This is the same guy who was willing to deprive Kali/Eight of sleep in Suspicious Minds when she refused to tell him something he wanted to know, so I wouldn't put anything past Brenner when it came to the abusive way he treated these kids.

It's hard to tell how much of El's behavior with Benny here is because she's having a hard time processing and understanding what's he's saying, if she's reluctant to trust him because he's the first person she's met outside of the lab, or if she's been conditioned so thoroughly by Brenner to not talk about who she is or what she does with other people who aren't him (or the Orderlies/Lab Staff) that she still can't overcome that mental block despite having escaped.

Also, major props to Benny for being the first adult to show El any kindness. I like to believe that when El killed Connie Frazier in the season finale, she was thinking of avenging Benny in that moment.

The idea of Lonnie dating girls who are underage (or that Joyce seems to think he would) is just.......🤢 🤮 As if this show didn't give enough reasons for why he's a loathsome creep. 😒

I'm curious if the dog was able to sense the presence of the Upside Down, or if it's continuing to bark at the shed because that was the last known location of Will and the Demogorgon. Or maybe he can sense that Will is there somehow, but not physically present, which is confusing him.

Canonically, from this conversation, this is the first time Mr. Clarke and Hopper introduce themselves to one another. They apparently had the same science teacher growing up (Ms. Ratliff), but never interacted with each other while going to school. Hopper explains his distaste for science that Mr. Clarke doesn't share. There's also the implication that social status during their school years played a part in why these two didn't interact prior to this point. Mr. Clarke would likely have been a nerd growing up, and dialogue indicates Hopper was a ladies man and likely popular during his heyday (similar to Steve).

Speaking of Steve.......

This entire interaction between Mike and Steve speaks for itself. 😂

RIP Benny Hammond. You deserved better! 😢

I've questioned the logic of Connie killing Benny, especially because of how it drew unwanted attention (especially from Hopper of all people) when that's likely the last thing Brenner and Hawkins Lab wanted. At this point, Benny was fully cooperating with Connie, and was about to give El to her since he believed Connie was from social services. There's nothing in his conversation with Connie prior to his death that would've made her suspicious that Benny saw something he shouldn't have, or that he believed there was something abnormal about El.

It's also notable that El doesn't run when she first sees Connie at the door with Benny. She runs AFTER Connie shoots Benny. That implies that Connie was someone El hadn't seen before, meaning Connie could have gotten El to come with her without fuss (and without arousing Benny's suspicions) and then later hand her over to Brenner before El realized what was happening. If Connie had been ordered to kill Benny just for seeing El and wanting to keep her existence a secret, then at the very least, she should have waited until after they had El in their custody so that she wouldn't be able to run away. Connie really screwed up here.

I love the song choice of "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane for the scene where El escapes Benny's restaurant. The lyrics to the song were inspired by the book Alice in Wonderland, and the natural curiosity Alice has when she explores Wonderland (similar to El's curiosity about the world outside of the lab). However, it was also about the type of drug-induced "trips" you take when you get high on psychedelics. Grace Slick, frontwoman for Jefferson Airplane, argued Alice in Wonderland contained metaphorical drug references, like the catepillar on a psychedelic mushroom smoking opium, or Alice eating something that causes her to become "too big for the room." The song itself was written and released in the 60s when psychedelics like LSD were being used, and those same psychedelics were taken by El's mom, Terry Ives, during the experiments she did at Hawkins Lab while pregnant with El. This factored into El obtaining the abilities she has. Symbolically, the song does a great job describing El's situation and how she came to be.

Another song choice I liked was "Africa" by Toto for the Steve and Nancy scene. There's always been a debate about what the lyrics mean (and from what I've heard, the band meant for the song to actually be about the continent of Africa rather than as just a metaphor), but when I first heard the song years ago, I interpreted it as about a man being enamored by a woman, anticipating the moment when they get together, and wanting it to be a special moment. Given Steve's interest (and flirtation) with Nancy in this scene, as well as his insistence to her that he doesn't just see her as another notch under his belt and is truly invested in her, both he (and Nancy) want it to be a special moment as well.

For the people who complained in S4 about how OOC it was for Joyce not to notice that Jonathan was high, they establish from the first episode that Joyce can get distracted when she has other stuff on her mind. Whether it's working to provide for the family, or trying to come up with a convincing cover-story for her kids so she can go to Russia to rescue Hopper. It doesn't mean she doesn't care for Jonathan or Will (not that I should have to say this to anyone who's been paying attention to this show).

Finally, this iconic moment still stands out after all these years:

The moment Mike claims he fell in love with El. And the moment where El met the first people she could truly call her friends.

On an unrelated note, today it rained, similar to how it rains in this episode. That detail is irrelevant to this discussion, but I thought it was a nice coincidence! :)

Thank you for reading my thoughts on the rewatch! :)

Coming Soon: Stranger Things Rewatch "The Weirdo on Maple Street."

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 4 Swaying

Again late for day 4 whumpril, even though i wrote this mostly at the same time of day 3

a direct follow on from Day 3 and a glimpse into Tristan view of his relationship with Elias

Again warnings for implied Sexual content, Elias doesn't have much of a choice in things but assumes that's normal. This is a very abusive situation as Tristan has been playing mind games with Elias since he found him.

----

Elias did have his own room but Tristan had come to enjoy sharing a bed, during sleep Elias had no mask, so everything was laid bare and at times Elias reached out in his nightmares and would sink into his touch, pliant and trusting. 

So Elias only used the bed in his room when he was healing, having one of his episodes, when Tristan was away.

So Tristan waited in his bed for Elias to arrive after Lucien was done with him.

The boy arrives at his door swaying, the angry raw wounds covering his neck, and likely more hidden by the gown he wore, clearly the cause of it.

 Lucien had taken it too far it seemed, he knew it was a likely possibility when he had agreed, Lucien hated Elijah as much as he and his sister did and there was a reason he had no intention of letting Aurora ever meet Elias.

He smothered his annoyance by calling Elias over to the bed with a wave.

The sight of Elias following his orders alway soothed away his ire.

Which is why when Elias stopped at the edge of the bed he frowned, had tonight damaged the trust he had been growing in the boy more than he had thought it would. 

He had enjoyed seeing the spark of betrayal in the boy’s eyes, when he had turned to look at him for reinsurance. The sight of Elijah Mikealson looking at him with pleading and betrayal was something he would keep in his mind until the day he was able to get the real thing, however Elias wasn’t Elijah, for all they looked the same.

In the beginning it wouldn’t have been there, it was proof his pet had gotten comfortable around him and learned to trust him, it had taken him months to convince the boy he could say no.

Tristan as started to look forward to those time to enjoy the shock Elias couldn’t hide at the idea of being listened to and the punishments afterwards Elias accepted without hesitation.

 It would be a pain to have to do all that work again but then again it could also be a new punishment he could use.

“Are you angry at me, Elias?” he asked, keeping his tone mild and without judgement, the boy was very observant.

“No sir,” Elias responded with the slightest shake of his head. “I have no reason to be angry, it was your choice.” came the common answer, one he hadn’t had to train into him, and after speaking to him had come before his time on the street.

Sometimes Tristan wished he could meet the boys parents, just to see what they were like, maybe to shake their hands before he killed them.

He wondered how Elias would react if he showed him after, did he have the same loyalty to his blood Elijah had?

“Then why are you still standing there?” he asked after a moment.

“I should shower.” Elias explained making him blink, that was a fair point, Tristan really didn’t want anything of Lucien in his bed. It was bad enough he allowed him to use Elias at all, but the boy was barely able to stay standing.

“You're barely keeping yourself upright,” he told the boy shaking his head, “what else should have been expected of the manners of a servant's son.” he muttered to himself as Elias started to move again. 

He watched as Elias climbed into the bed, the side he had started to label Elias's in his head, the careful way he moved proving Lucien had likely left bruises besides the bitemarks, it was going to takes days for him to heal.

“Who is Elijah?” Elias asked moments after he had settled, Tristan stared at him. The boy didn’t look like he had any more of an idea than he normally did when he corrected him, of the rare times he slipped and used his sire’s name instead of his boy’s.

“An old enemy of ours,” he explain shortly adding “yes he is the one you resemble.” before the other could say another thing, he was still unsure why the boy looked so much like his sire and the Strix witches had nothing to help him with the question.

The most any of the Strix could get on their absence Sire was dagger, besides his siblings in the coffins Klaus kept them in it seemed from the outside Klaus had exchanged one older brother for the other.

“-why you took me in?” Elias' question brought him from his fantasies on what had caused Klaus to dagger his favourite brother for over a century now?

“Yes. What? You have more to ask?” he demanded as he noticed Elias was still clearly questioning something as he bit his lip, Tristan narrowed his eyes as Elias seemed to have to work himself up to ask.

“Whose Klaus- Niklaus?”

“Where did you hear that?” he snapped, came out sharped than he planned but why would his boy ever hear- Lucien-

“Mr - he told me to call him that.” Elias stumbled over his words, not meeting his eyes instead looking at his hands, he blinked at the oddness of the behaviour before the full meaning hit him.

Tristan laughed, the confused frown on the teenager’s face deepening but Tristan didn’t bother to stop it as the picture built in his head, taking one of Klaus’s most important things, using Klaus himself to debase the image of his brother.

He found himself laughing so much it ached and Elias's expression shifted to concern.

“Pay it little heed, you won’t hear it again.” he managed to speak once the laughter lessened, he would never tell Lucien but it was brilliantly played if only either the true Elijah or Klaus could have seen it.

[ride-thedragon]

RHAENYRA AND LAENOR IN THE SHOW DOESN’T WORK.

(MY DETERIORATION INTO MADNESS OVER A SHOW)

One thing about Rhaenyra and Laenor's marriage in the show is how quickly she moves on to Harwin after the wedding.

Let's say for the sake of continuety, Jace was born in late December. 9 months from then would be late March, early April.

Another benefit of the doubt, let's say, they get in late January, early February because flowers are blooming, but it's still raining and looks cold, so it's not exactly spring just yet.

So that's about two months they try to conceive before she's with Ser Harwin, and Jace is conceived in the show's canon.

This is also us assuming that she conceived in the first month she was with Ser Harwin. It took a month to convince a man to commit treason to the crown.

That's why I don't get the people who say Laenor didn't do his duty like he should have. Gay people can have bio kids. Gay people throughout history and now have kids.

Rhaenyra takes two months to decide to step out of their marriage and conceive an Heir instead of staying at her grieving husband's side.

Laena marries Daemon shortly after the wedding, based on the ten year gap between the episodes. So Laenor's sister, that he obviously loved and depended on leaves with her husband to another continent, leaving him in King’s Landing with Rhaenyra.

I also understand that Rhaenyra will feel pressured to have a baby because she is the heir. Her mom had fertility issues, and so she's dealing with a lot of stigma while Alicent is about to have her third son. That stress and pressure, along with an unwilling and grief-stricken Laenor, is difficult.

However, two months is probably not the best distance of time to wait. Joffrey was brutally murdered infront of Laenor, he and Rhaenyra had agreed to do their duty but now Laenor has to live along side the killer of the man he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with.

Then Rhaenyra does what she does with Harwin( we'll speak on his ass soon), gets pregnant, and follows through with it.

When Jace is born, even if Laenor is okay with doing his duty, he can't. It puts Jace, Harwin, and Rhaenyra in danger if they have a bio kid that doesn't look like Jace. Their kid probably wouldn't look like Jace. Rhaenyra and Laenor know this, I assume she tells him, and she shortly after conceives Luke.

Luke, although not from Laenor, will be the heir and future the Lord of the Tides. Laenor knows he has been a disappointment now and starts to sleep around, party and drink.

Luke does not look like anyone before him who inherited Driftmark. Rhaenyra doesn't contemplate again, and Luke is born looking like Jace, so the matter is settled. They don't need any more kids. If they have bio kids, the seven know Alicent will run through the seven Kingdoms calling Jace and Luke bastards so Laenor does what Rhaenyra does and entertains lovers.

When Joffrey comes, he claims him as he does for the others and raises them as his own. Then Rhaenyra says he hasn't done his duty or kept his promise when it becomes clear that the boys may not be from Laenor and Alicent is continuously pushing for a treason charge.

What opportunities did Laenor have to do his duty? Through grief, lonliness, declaring treason, and adultery from Rhaenyra?

Those boys are clearly protected from the rumours, Jace doesn't question it until he's ten. Alicent says she doesn't want to marry Helaena to Jace, fair enough on her part. She wants House Hightower to hold a lot of power through the next two kings. But that's when Nyra starts to tell Laenor he hasn't done his duty. He wants to go back to war because the place they had agreed for him to hold has been taken up.

So when he points out that the boys are not his, and she says she did what she had to, I was confused. According to the timelines, Laenor didn't have much of a choice, and Rhaenyra didn't give him one.

Now on to Ser Harwin.

Two months to commit treason? Are you insane?

Rhaenyra, at this time, has lost Alicent and Criston as the people close to her. Laenor is obviously not in the best space, and Harwin is clearly willing to fill voids in her life.

So I understand in the haze of the moment that they would conceive Jace. But to keep him?

That's insane.

Then Laenor agrees to claim the kid so she doesn't have to worry about the heir thing for long until Jace comes out looking like Harwin. Then she gaslights, gatekeeps, and girlbosses her way out of Treason accusations thanks to Vizzy t.

But instead of leaving for Harrenhall after, he doubles down, and they do it again. Fair enough, maybe this time the kid will look Valyrian or that he'll at least look like Jace. Fine. Lie to the Velaryons and actively make enemies that your husband can only protect you from on paper.

As a collective, are we insane?

Laenor protects the boys and starts doing what you are doing. That's what it seems his duty is to claim your kids as ours, and clearly, we aren't trying to question it.

Then, Ser Harwin stays and continues the affair until they conceive Joffrey. He wanted to die clearly. The people at court think you are too close to the princess, that her heirs look like you, so you stay close to the princess to show that her heirs look like you and that you care about them a lot more than you should.

Are these people so stupid, or are they insane.

We may never truly know because of the time skip.

Then Laenor, in another time of grief, recommited himself to his family only to, in his next scene, let's those boys grieve the knight they were clearly close too and their dad, all to run away to Essos. Because Daemon, who actively denied the sister he clearly loves wishes, all while she died carrying his kid wants to now screw his wife about a week after Laena, his sister's death.

Am I insane?

I think the writers wanted many things in a short time to happen and none of it made sense looking back.

I think that's why I never got behind a relationship Rhaenyra had in the show.

We have the murdering incel, the gay grieving husband, the predatory, treasonous knight, or the man who sleeps with her after watching her grow from conception at his wife of ten years funeral.

They left me with crackships and her abusive, scorned, sapphic counterpart

I am insane...

I do hope we learn to take time when it comes to upcoming seasons because I have more questions than I should, I think.