#Yes this is how I motivate myself to get stuff done-

[grison-in-space]

you know what else fucks me up about the US election? one of the things that has left me reeling in bewilderment and grief this month?

I'm a scientist, y'all.

That means that I am, like most American research scientists, a federal contractor. (Possibly employee. It's confusing, and it fucks with my taxes being a postdoctoral researcher.) I get paid because someone, in the long run ideally me, makes a really, really detailed pitch to one of several federal grant agencies that the nation would really be missing out if I couldn't follow up on these thoughts and find concrete evidence about whether or not I'm right.

Currently, my personal salary is dependent on a whole department of scientists convincing one of the largest and most powerful granting agencies that they have a program that is really good at training scientists that can think deeply about the priorities of the agency. Those priorities are defined by the guy who runs the agency, and he gets to hire whatever qualified people he wants. That guy? The Presidential Administration picks that one. That's how federal agencies get staffed: the President's administration nominates them.

All of the heads of these agencies are personally nominated by the president and their administration. They are people of enormous power whose job is to administer million-dollar grants to the scientists competing urgently for limited funds. A million dollars often doesn't go farther than a couple of years when it's intended to pay for absolutely everything to do with a particular pitch, including salaries of your trainees, all materials, travel expenses, promoting the work among other researchers, all of it—so most smart American researchers are working fervently on grants all the time.

The next director of the NIH will be a Trump appointee, if he notices and thinks to appoint one. NSF, too; that's the group that funds your ecology and your astroscience and your experimental mathematics and physics and chemistry, the stuff that doesn't have industry funding and industry priorities. USDA. DOE, that's who does a lot of the climate change mitigation and renewable energy source research, they'll just be lucky if they can do anything again because Trump nigh gutted them last time.

Right now, I am working on the very tail end of a grant's funding and I am scurrying to make sure I stay employed. So I'm thinking very closely about federal agency priorities, okay? And I'm thinking that the funding climate for science is going to get a lot fucking leaner. I'm seeing what the American people think of scientists, and about whether my job is worth doing. It's been a lean twelve years in this gig, okay? Every time the federal government gets fucked up, that impacts my job, it means that I have to hustle even harder to get grants in that let me support myself—and, if I have any trainees, their budding careers as well!—to patch over the lean times as much as we can.

So I've been reeling this week thinking about how funding agency priorities are going to change. I work on sex differences in motivation, so let me tell you, the politics reading this one for my next pitch are going to be fun. I'm working on a submission for an explicitly DEI-oriented five year grant with a cycle ending in February, so that's going to be an exercise in hoping that the agency employees at the middle levels (the ones that know how to get things done which can't be replaced immediately with yes men) can buffer the decisions of those big bosses long enough to let that program continue to exist a little while longer.

Ah, Christ, he promised Health & Human Services (which houses the NIH) to RFK, didn't he? We'll see how that pans out.

I keep seeing people calling for more governmental shutdowns on the left now, and it makes me want to scream. The government being gridlocked means the funding that researchers like me need doesn't come, okay? When the DOE can't say fucking "climate change," when the USDA hemorrhages its workers when the agency is dragged halfway across the country, when I watch a major Texan House rep stake his career on trying to destroy the NSF, I think: this is what you people think of us. I think: how little scientists are valued as public workers. Why am I working this hard again?

This is why I described voting as harm reduction. Even if two candidates are "the same" on one thing you care about, they probably aren't the same level of bad on everything. Your task is to figure out the best person to do the job. It's not about a fucking tribalist horse race. A vote is your opinion on a job interview, you fucks. We have to work with this person.

Anyway, I'm probably going to go back to shaking quietly in despair for a little longer and then pick myself up and hit the grind again. If I'm fast, I might still get the grant in this miserable climate if I run, and I might get to actually keep on what I'm trying to do, which is bring research on sex differences, neurodivergence and energy balance as informed by non-binary gender perspectives and disability theory to neuroscience.

Fuck.

[wayfinderships]

I WILL get this assignment done and I WILL get f/o kissies as a reward!

[hungrykeaton]

Have a belly busting video everyone ;) They seriously make these burritos damn HUGE! Like they are the size of my arm its insane. And I just love watching them make it too because they keep just walking down all the ingredients and asking what else I want on it. And I just keep naming everything my greedy eyes can see. Got to see that burrito grow bigger and taller with each plop of extra ingredient ughhhh.

Also when I was ordering this time the burrito maker kept asking if I wanted extra brisket too and like of course I have to say yes to that. Plus literally everytime I order it someone always mentions how its so big and they can't quite finish it. But they don't know me, they don't know that I'm a greedy hog deep down who is never full. Its definitely meant for 2 or more people but I know that's how much I always wanna shove in my gut. (Also plopping down and watching exercise videos for a bit while eating also is kinda 'fun' for me. Something about the encouraging motivation to keep going and stuff...)

Ugh it just tasted so good too. Like even though its the size of my own forearm unwrapping it and chowing down on it was delicious. I just wanted to keep on stuffing it down more and more with each bite. Even though each just made my big gut swell up bigger with burrito and fat.

My gut's gotten big again I think... I wasn't trying to blow up too big again but I may have messed up because it feels so big. I had to get a bigger wardrobe already and we're not even done with December yet! I'm getting nervous my big gut is gonna make me look like fucking Santa by the end of the year...

But I just want more, more burritos, and burgers, and just more FOOD all the time around me. Just let me lean back and gorge myself so that there isn't a literal inch of room left inside of my massive ball gut. I just wanna eat and gorge and watch movies and TV like a mindless bottomless pit. Unable to stop cramming the food in my mouth which only makes my belly even bigger.

I can't stop eating, can't stop getting fatter. I just want bigger and bigger portions each time. Always ordering the most, eating it, and asking others to finish their plate too. I just can't stop filling my gut with food, it needs more it always needs more. It sometimes feels as though something primal inside of me to just feast and eat at every opportunity. To keep asking for more food, to keep trying to eat more and push more inside of me. I NEED more inside of me. Doesn't matter if we just ate, lets get another burger so I can keep forcing food down into me. Hey are we going to the arcade? They have pizza there right? Just every where I go addicted to eating and feeding myself.

It's not even hunger anymore. It's just something more than that. Because I'm definitely not hungry after eating an entire gut busting burrito. But still I want more. I want more cookies, or pasta, or burgers, or pizza. My gut is groaning with all that food crammed in it and I'm patting it just saying I wish I had more. Why? Why do I want more?! Why can't I just stop? My gut won't let me stop eating until it feels like its going to burst. Until I literally am gasping for air because my GUT cannot physically stretch anymore.

Also going to see Buttonspop again too tomorrow and I think we're gonna have another food filled time that's going to really put the strain on my new pants...

[blackbleedingrose]

Long Lost Morningstar - Part Four

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing(s): Seven Virtues' x reader (platonic), Charlie x reader (platonic), Lucifer x reader (platonic), Lilith x reader (platonic)

Genre: Angst/Betrayal

Warning(s): Cursing, lies, betrayal

Notes: FINALLY! I'm sorry this took me forever to post. I was, and still am, dealing with some school stuff. Truthfully it was a little rough trying to get this one out - along with school and work, I am losing motivation to write this. It could be that I burnt myself on Hazbin after reading so many fanfics for days on end until I eventually got tired. I'm still going to be writing this either way, I'd feel bad to suddenly stop out of nowhere. Funny thing is I'll probably feel motivated again once the second season airs. Oh, well. I'll post part five when I can and am able, so please bare with me and hopefully enjoy this long part for the time being. Thank you for your support - I'm really writing this for the ones reading this series and am grateful for your patience.

Words: 3,298

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?".

After learning about the exterminations (Y/N) wasted no time flying to the archangels' castle - her home.

She needed to know if they knew about the exterminations, and if so. . .

No, there's no way.

The Virtues' duty were to help remain peace and order - there's no way they'd be okay with the murdering of sinners.

Still, the fear and pain she felt for Charlie and Sera's betrayal made her impulsive.

So much so, that she flew past the archangels' secretary and burst through the doors of the meeting room where they were discussing important matters.

The archangel's were shocked to see (Y/N), who had just interrupted their meeting, looking completely disheveled and breathing heavily.

This behavior would normally be unacceptable, and if it were any other seraphim or angel they would be scolded and punished depending on severity of the offense.

But this was their little (Y/N), whose never interrupted their meetings without reason (or when she was a curious infant who somehow wandered in).

Michael stood up from his seat and flew over to his distressed daughter, "(Y/n). What's the matter?".

(Y/n) struggled to catch her breath, her mind and heart racing.

Michael placed his hands on her shoulders, "Deep breathes, sweetheart. Try to calm down". He gently cooed at her trying to help her find her breath and calm her nerves.

When (Y/N) had finally caught her breath she looked up at her father staring right into his eyes, "Did you know?".

Michael furrowed his brows confused, "Know what, sweetheart?".

(Y/N) took a deep breath before looking at him with sorrowful eyes, "About the exterminations."

Michael and the other archangels' were even more confused than before, "What exterminations?".

"The exterminations of the human souls in Hell."

The archangels' eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Michael looked down at his daughter with slight sternness, "What do you mean?".

(Y/N) went on to tell them all about what had happened at the trial from Charlie's hotel, Angel Dust, Sera's betrayal, to Adam's threat towards her cousin.

To say the archangels' were pissed would be a gross understatement.

How dare Sera and Adam play God and order such an atrocity right under their noses - and for it to be going on this long!

They were embarrassed to have been so ignorant.

Michael felt very uneasy about (Y/N)'s interaction with the Princess of Hell.

Yes, he had been aware his brother had birthed a child in Hell and hadn't seen an issue of (Y/n) of knowing as he was confident the two would never meet.

Well, that back fired horribly.

He couldn't discuss that with (Y/N) right now because, other than letting curiosity get the better of her once again, she hadn't done anything wrong.

She was clearly out of sorts with worry. She didn't need anything else but reassurance and comfort.

"Thank you for telling us. Don't worry, we'll be sure to handle this," Michael said trying to comfort his daughter.

"B-But, Charlie," (Y/N)'s breathing spiked, "A-Adam threatened t-to, to!". Tears flowed down to her red cheeks, her eyes red and puffy.

Michael gently shushed her wiping her tears, "Calm down, sweetie. We'll handle everything, especially Adam. Just go to your room and try to relax. I'll tell the staff to get you some tea."

(Y/N) shook her head, "B-But I need to help Charlie. I-I need to do something -,"

"No." Michael's tone was stern but gentle. "This is for the higher ranking angels to handle and you're too emotional right now to think clearly. Let us take care of this."

"Listen to your father, (N/N)." Azrael said his grin more menacing than usual. "And don't fret over Adam, we'll make sure to deal with him personally."

The other archangels' agreed without question. Adam wouldn't get away with making their precious niece cry.

(Y/N) realized her father was right, she was too emotional right now.

She was in no condition to deal with this as she was.

After saying goodbye to her family, (Y/N) went to her room to try and calm down.

Feeling completely exhausted and emotionally drained, (Y/N) passed out the second her head hit her pillow.

The next day (Y/N) woke up later than usual and saw a note on her beside table.

It was from her father telling her not to worry about her duties that day and to just rest.

(Y/N) was grateful to her father, but she was so restless about the trial and the upcoming extermination.

She got ready for the day and went down into the courts archives.

Maybe there was something she could use in the courts records to help Charlie.

Since she was a stenographer, a seraphim, and Michael's daughter no one questioned her being there.

In fact, many of the simps angels there were more than happy to help her.

(Y/N) declined most of their help, not wanting to garner unnecessary attention to what she was looking for or why.

She continued doing this for days making sure to cover her tracks so her father and uncles didn't catch wind of her little excursions.

Which was why most of them were in the dead of night.

She hadn't heard a word of what her father or uncles' were going to do about the exterminations.

But the times she's seen Adam and Lute, the two were still their cocky and douchey selves.

So, she knew the extermination was still on.

Why?

Why haven't the archangels' done anything yet?

What were they waiting for?

A small part of her wondered if they ended up agreeing with Sera and Adam and wanted to keep the exterminations on, but she quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

The archangels' duty was to follow the laws of Heaven, and the exterminations clearly went against that.

There's no way they'd be okay with keeping it going.

Still. . . they weren't working fast enough.

The month was almost over.

So, she continued researching wanting to find anything that would prove Sera and Adam wrong about Hell and prove Charlie's hotel worked or could work.

One night while everyone had turned in, (Y/N) snuck into the ancient archives - court records that dated over billions of years ago.

Maybe there was something in the older court records she could use.

She spent hours going through file after file, pulling out possible references to use, and making piles based on the dates.

The long hours started to get to her, the bags under her eyes more prominent with each passing minute.

Without realizing, her eyes lids shut and she slowly drifted to the side accidently knocking over a large pile she hadn't checked yet.

*THUD*

The sound of the falling files scared her awake.

"Oh shit!"

(Y/N) rubbed her eyes awake before going over to the scattered files. She really hoped no one had heard that thud.

As she was gathering all of the loose documents, there was one file folder that caught her eye. Labeled on the tab was 'Morningstar vs Heaven'.

Morningstar? That was Charlie's last name but this file was in one of the older court piles meaning this file was about -

"Lucifer. . .".

She's never read her uncle's trial record before. . . but if he was anything like Charlie then maybe there was something in those documents that could help her prove her cousin's dreams and beliefs.

After all, it was because of Lucifer's desire and dreams to show humanity free will that gifted humans the ability to dream and choose to be better.

She knew her father would frown at her view on Lucifer, but she had always thought there might have been some merit behind her uncle's choices.

She started to collect the documents, sometimes glancing over certain parts that caught her attention. However, as she was going through the files she saw something in one of the documents that she had never expected to see.

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?". (Y/N) bit her lip deciding if she should look through it or not.

In the end she decided to go through with it and read the document. It was probably nothing, just her mind playing tricks on her. She had been up for hours, after all.

However, the moment her eyes scanned through each line her heart dropped into her stomach.

Sera: Take the child.Court angels: (takes the infant (Y/N) Morningstar from the arms of her parents, Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith)

"P-Parents?".

The rest of the documents recounted Lucifer and Lilith's guilty verdict, their sentencing to Hell, and the courts final proceedings.

(Y/N) wanted to refuse everything she had read, wanting to call it all lies.

But stenographers, especially in Heaven, cannot lie when recording. The magic imbedded within the typewriter wouldn't allow it.

Still, it just couldn't be true. . . Maybe this was another (Y/N), one she's never met. There was no way it was talking about her.

However, before (Y/N) could attempt to convince herself even more she noticed one final document lying on the floor. She recognized what kind of document it was immediately.

It was a Heavenly Ordinance.

She slowly reached for the golden paper and started to read it.

"By Heavenly decree, it is now ordered that all residents, and new ones to come, are forbidden from tempting humanity or breaking Heaven's rules. All residents must obey and turn from all misguided thoughts, dreams, and or endeavors. All violators will receive punishment. It is also ordered that the Heavenborn seraphim, (Y/N) Morningstar, is now under the care of the Seven Virtues; specifically Archangel Michael Demiugros. The infant's name will be changed to (Y/N) Demiugros. The child will have no connection to Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith, and will be told Michael Demiugros is her father/parent who crafted her from stardust. All Heavenly residents aware of the child's true lineage are forbidden from speaking on the matter. All violators will be punished severely."

(Y/N) felt like she couldn't breath.

Her hands were shaking, her heart pounding in her chest.

Oh, God.

She wanted to deny it and believe all of this was some sick prank.

But even she knew no one in Heaven would dare fake writing a Heavenly Ordinance, let alone play such a cruel prank or joke.

Besides, the Heavenly Seal at the bottom of the document was proof of its authenticity.

Heaven would never allow a fake to be placed with the court records.

It took a while for her to calm down.

Looking at the clock mounted on the wall, she saw how late it was.

The court angels who had the early morning shift would be here in two hours.

Wiping the tears that had gathered in her eyes, she used her magic to help clean up her mess and put all of the documents back into their original places - except for one.

When she started to put Lucifer's file away, she stared at the ordinance.

She paused for a moment before folding it up and shoving it into her pocket.

After everything was put away (Y/N) went back to her room with her mind buzzing and heart racing.

She woke up five hours later to the sound of her alarm.

She felt absolutely exhausted.

At first she thought it had all been a dream, a really bad dream.

But when she checked her pockets and pulled out the folded up golden paper, she knew it wasn't.

She was heartbroken.

The feeling of betrayal and hurt plaguing her soul.

Why?

Why did they lie to her?

Why did they do all of this?

Now everything made sense.

Why she was so restricted from practically everything.

Why everyone in her family kept her so close and away from any of the higher seraphim duties.

Why she really looked like Lilith. . .

To top it all off, the person she had believed to be her father this whole time was actually her uncle.

She truly didn't know how to feel, and she wondered if Charlie knew.

Probably not given how shocked the Hellborn had been to hear she had a 'cousin'.

Though, now she knew why she felt such a strong connection to Charlie.

They were sisters.

And if Charlie hadn't known about her, she doubted Lucifer or Lilith did.

She wondered what else Heaven has lied to her about.

. . . Did they even love her?

If she really was the spawn of the ones who damned humanity, did they only keep her for their own benefit?

Have they actually hated her this entire time?

These thoughts brought tears to her eyes.

The rest of the day as she continued on with her duties, she thought back to her family and her newly discovered ones.

Whenever she interacted with her family in Heaven, she did her best to keep up appearances.

There was no way to tell what would happen if they found out what she knew.

So, she decided to bite her tongue.

No matter how much she wanted to scream and cry.

She wondered if they were even going to do anything about the exterminations.

She was starting to doubt it since she hadn't heard anything new; though, would they even tell her?

And Adam and Lute were as smug as ever.

That made her angelic blood boil.

Did they really hate Lucifer, Charlie, her, and sinners so much that they would allow this atrocity to continue?

Even though it went against everything Heaven stood for?!

No.

(Y/N) wouldn't stand for this.

If she was going to help Charlie, she would have to take matters into her own hands.

Luckily, Michael and her other uncles' taught her basic combat.

Hopefully that would at least help her fed off a few exorcists.

The next few days leading up to the extermination, (Y/N) secretly stole some angelic armor and weapons.

She eavesdropped on Adam and Lute trying to find out their plans and the exact time of the extermination.

She even continued to gather information for Charlie to help prove her hotel could work.

She acted as she usually did in front of others to avoid suspicion.

She planned to sneak out the night before the extermination to help Charlie and her hotel prepare for the fight.

She was a little nervous about seeing her newly discovered sister, and possibly her biological father, but she knew she would have to suck it up and wait until after the battle was over.

The morning before the extermination, (Y/N) felt more than prepared - she had everything she needed before tonight.

Everything was going according to plan.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Michael asked the court angel who seemed to be a bit out of sorts.

"W-Well, sir, there seems to be a document missing from one of the court records".

Michael rose a brow, "Okay? Which records?".

"U-Um. . . one of the ancient records, sir."

'Ancient records?'

Michael's brows furrowed - why would a document be missing from one of the oldest records in Heaven? Hardly anyone uses or reads them. They're mainly there as historical records now.

"Strange. . . Which record was it then?"

The court angel gulped, "U-Um. . , i-it-"

Michael glared slightly annoyed, "Just say it!"

"I-It was from Lucifer Morningstar's, s-sir!"

Michael's eyes widened, "Lucifer's?"

"Y-Yes, sir. We noticed some of the court records had been a little out of place the past couple of days, but thought nothing of it as everything was neatly put back. But this morning one of the court angel's found a feather between Lucifer's record, and when they opened it they saw one of the documents inside was missing."

Michael frowned, "Which document?"

". . . The Heavenly Ordinance, sir."

'The Heavenly Ordinance? Why. . . Why would anyone take that?'

"This was the feather that was found inside the court record."

The court angel presented Michael a singular feather. It was beautiful and the design looked very familiar -

Michael's breath hitched as he looked closely at the feather. He snatched the feather out of the court angel's hand looking at it even closer.

'No, no, no - it can't be!'

Without another word Michael flew out of the room leaving very confused and concerned court angels'.

'There's no way! She cannot possibly know!'

Lost in his own frantic thoughts, Michael failed to notice a certain archangel in his path, and proceeded to crash right into him.

"Woah, Michael! What's the rush?" Azrael asked wincing from the impact.

Michael looked at his brother, fear in his eyes, "Azrael. I-It's terrible. . . (Y-Y/N). . . S-She-"

"(Y/N)? Did something happen to her?" Azrael asked worried. He's never been his brother so distressed before.

"S-She. . . She knows."

Azrael furrowed his brows, "'Knows?' Knows, what?"

"About Lucifer. . . the truth about Lucifer and Lilith."

Michael proceeded to tell Azrael the events that happened taken place in the courts archives.

"That's strange," Azrael hummed. "Just as strange as the report I just got that some angelic armor and weapons are missing."

Azrael saw Michael's expression morph into one of absolute horror and waved his hands trying to dismiss his brother's thoughts, "But it could all just be a coincidence!".

Placing his hands onto Michael's shoulders, Azrael looked into his eyes, "Michael. You know (Y/N). As curious as she is, she's not reckless or stupid. She knows her place in Heaven and wouldn't dare ruin that. Have more faith - after all, you are the one who raised her."

Michael calmed his nerves as he listened to his brother's advice. He's right. (Y/N) was raised right and she would never do something that would jeopardize her place in Heaven. Someone else had to have misplaced the document, armor, and weapons.

. . . Still. . .

He couldn't shake off the ugly feeling in his gut.

Hours had passed and it was now late into the night.

To everyone around her (Y/N) was her normal graceful, polite, and dutiful self.

Almost like she hadn't been stressed out the entire month worrying for her cousin, who she recently discovered was actually her sister, and finding out her entire life has been a total lie.

She really played the part of the obedient seraphim quite well.

But right now, she was anything but.

Right now she was the sleep deprived heartbroken, scorned girl who no longer knew who she was or who she could trust here.

But, she was going to find out.

While the rest of the castle was asleep, (Y/N) changed from her night gown into light but durable angelic armor.

She wore her long blonde hair in a high ponytail and carried a long angelic spear on her back (along with a few angelic daggers and a whip on her hips).

Once ready, she quietly unlocked her balcony door trying to make as little noise as possible.

She could feel her nerves shake.

She's never been in a real fight before.

She knew what she was doing was dangerous; and if found out, could lead her into a world of trouble.

Looking back behind her she glanced over her room.

Her eyes landing on a picture frame found sitting on her vanity.

It had a photo of when she was little.

In it she was hugging Michael with her favorite duck plushie in her arms.

They both had such big smiles.

Sadness filled her heart as tears pricked her eyes.

Had it all been a lie?

Well. . . either way, she would find out later.

Charlie needed her right now.

She smiled sadly at the duck plushie laying in her bed silently wishing for luck.

Steeling her nerves, (Y/N) internally prepared herself for the battle ahead.

What she wasn't prepared for was to come face to face with Michael the moment she turned around.

Taglist:

@soobryu @kyo-kyo1 @miyako-night20 @charliecharlie65 @unknow-sama @myluckymoon @lbcreations-blog @moonchaos18 @sirenetheblogger @jagharamira @el-hajj @azharyy @glowymxxn @itsmonicabc @lxkeee @aria-tempest @glowinthedarkbones1150 @sashaphantomhive @0strawberrysorbet0 @serenity-loves-red @snowy-violet @aishallnotbefound

[continuumitgirl]

hi!!

so i’ve known ab subliminals, manifesting, shifting for a while, but always had minimal success. i was never able to get the ‘big’ things i wanted.

but since being on tumblr, i learnt about STATES. which i had previously known about when i had read the power of awareness by neville goddard. unfortunately, that didn’t last long as i started watching manifesting gurus on youtube and got clouded with information again. (no hate to sammy ingram) But i watched her a lot. and i never got that much movement even tho i was consistent, it would make me feel guilty if i was t affirming enough. and i would beat myself up, saying to myself “if u really want this, u need to affirm more”. i would do the 10k challenge, 10 min stuff, but it was soooo overwhelming. so much stress because i wanted so many things, and i felt like i didn’t have enough time, i had other stuff to do, so even tho i was consistent, i would stress myself out, wondering if i was doing enough, doing it right, etc.

this mindset was toxic, although i didn’t realise it then. i just would get so upset because i trying to hard. which is why it also took me a min to realise.. that i shouldn’t be trying that hard to get something … u either have it or u don’t! so anyways, one or two weeks ago, i came on here because i was done. i wanted my desires. enough. At first i got swayed by the void stuff, which made me put it on a pedestal . which made me angry, i was like bro not this shit again. i don’t wanna waste another months or years. and somehow i stumbled across states. i’ll admit it took me a second to grasp. i re read the power of awareness. and realised it is simple, once i understood it, i deleted tumblr and focused on my life, while occupying my ideal state.

One thing that i’ve been wanting a lot is to travel this year. I travelled last year a bit with my friend and spent 3 months in another country during the summer and it was phenomenal: i wanted this again for 2023. I want to live my life yk.

Well this morning my mum woke me up to tell me we are going on 2 holidays. one next month and one in easter. Athens, Greece and Verona and Venice, Italy.

i was like omg this is amazing ?? we had talked a bit about it and every time we did i was like “yes. we’re going” in my head. and today we booked those holidays.

Now what’s so special about this? Well i made a pinterest board end of 2022 with places i wanna go def this year!! every time i looked at this board i was like “it’s done” [just the way i think ab every desire, because it is done, it’s mine, it literally comes from my consciousness so it’s inseparable to me]

and yeah!! i have 2 other places on this pinterest board but it’s literally the 31st of January 2023 rn and we’ve already booked for 2 of them so that’s a fucking success. i’m so confident more than ever about my power and how the 3D truly is just a reflection of my consciousness/ state i dwell on often!!!!!

yeah as u can see i literally have athens, venice, paris and amsterdam pics on here as a vision board :))))

i want to thank @0t0mie @lotusmi and @angelsinluv (also to twitter users that explanation states v well and posted motivating content . i don’t rlly use twitter for loa stuff cus my irl friends follow me there but there’s a community over there i would lurk on that encouraged states and helped me understand that the mindless affirming in aim to TRY and get ur manifestation was pointless)

anyways i cannot wait to post more loa success stories. this way of manifesting not only makes so much sense once u grasp it. it literally is so fucking easy and effortless 😩 cannot believe it took me this look to figure it out but honestly its fine. my desires are already mine now. that’s all that matters 😎💪

[silverwolf-108]

Yandere TF141 + König x Fem!Reader

Summary: You the new recruit of military, you dream to become a military. The higher ups found you fascinating and amazed seeing your skills and beauty. But they saw you being held by your ex, they plan to kill him from touching their girl.

Warning: Strong language, violence, obsessive behavior, possessive, blood

Y/n POV:

I stand in straight line of military men’s, wanna know why? Because I’m a military too. Reason why I’m here is because my grandfather is a military too. I was amazed the story he told me when I was little, he talk about himself that he save dozen of people from the enemy, take down down the enemy base, and stuff like. I wanna follow my grandfather footsteps because military are amazing. They serve homes and save people lives from danger.

“Attention!” The men who is the boss of military ground shout as we all stand straight “Alright rookies! Today the higher ups are gonna teach you how to be a soldier! Seems like they’re coming right now.” We look up see a helicopter coming down. The helicopter landed on the ground as the door slide open, coming out are five mens. “These man’s are Task Force 141! What ever you fellas do, don’t let your guard down! Understood?!” We shout ‘Yes Sir!’

“Alright rookies, let’s get to practice.” The man with fish hat and cigars said. He pick few mans and tell them what group they be before he pick next. All mens are now in their groups and for me, I’m in the Ghost group. I heard he’s a lieutenant that the mens talk about before we got pick. They say he’s a mysterious and serious guy.

“Alright you punks, let’s go for a target range.” We follow him as we headed to the target range where we practice to shoot the enemy. We listen to Ghost explaining about the target we need to aim to shoot the enemy. The mens take their turn to shoot the target. Some of them miss and some of them didn’t miss.

I stood in front that it’s my turn, I held my gun taking a deep breath to calm myself. One of target appear, I quickly shoot it as another appear. I shoot every target that appear fast and didn’t even miss one. After I’m done shooting I turn around and see all mens stares at me, even lieutenant Ghost stare at me too.

Next is crawling under the bar wires, it sound hard but I had to get through it. I crawl under the bar wires and ignore the stain of wet dirt on my military uniform. We did few practice and training and it was like an hour. I didn’t give up that easily, I had been training a lot since I was a teenager because I wanna train my body before becoming a military.

After we finish training and practice we head to our cabin to get some rest. I head to the girls cabin because here of the military ground we have our own separate cabin. “Y/n!” I met by a hug of my friend, Nina. Nina is a friend of mine, we went in same high school and became great friends. She told me she wanna be military too because her father died in war two years and wanna be just be like him.

“How’s your first time?” She ask. I told her it was great and easy. Nina told it was a bit difficult but I told her never give up and never let your father down. It gave her motivation because I see fire in her eyes. We hit the shower, dry ourselves, change into our pajamas, and went to sleep.

Narrator POV:

“What?! That woman went every practice training well and didn’t think it’s hard?!” Soap said. “Yes Soap, she didn’t think it’s hard. She never gave up.” Ghost explain. “You know I really wanna see that woman skills.” Gaz said sitting next to Price. “S-same.” König join in.

“What’s her name?” Price let out puff of smoke “Her name is Y/n L/n. She is a rookie but somehow she take things well.” Ghost told him. “Hey Price! Is it okay you pick her to my group the next day? I Really Wanna see what she capable of.” Price think for a moment. He puff out another of smoke and said “Okay Soap, I’ll pick her for you.”

——————————

Next Day

You put on your military uniform in early morning before heading outside to get some fresh air. You sat on the wooden crates by the door listening to the birds chirping and stare at the sky. “Y/n L/n” you brought out your dagger from your thigh holster held it to intruder neck but you only met Sergeant Soap MacTavish .

You gasp quickly put your dagger back in holster “Sergeant MacTavish! I’m so sorry I almost hurt you! I thought you were-” she was cut off by his laugh “Don’t worry, anyway that was pretty cool. You got sense of danger. I’m impressed.” Soap grin. “Anyway I wanna say you did amazing yesterday. Ghost told me and the others that you were amazing. Tell me, why you join the army?” Soap ask.

“My grandfather was a military soldier so I follow his footsteps and I wanna become just like him. He had a history” you explain. Soap pat your shoulder “I see, well, your grandfather is gonna be so proud of you.” He gave you one last pat before he walk away.

——————————

It’s been almost a year you train every impossible practice training on every morning and evening. You were getting the hang out it, being pick by one of the Task Force 141 members are not bad because they always treat the rookies some hard way to get them stronger for the war.

You pant heavily after finish running ten laps in the field and head to the cafeteria that is time to eat for lunch. You got your tray of food and sat by your friend Nina talking each other. You finish your food and head to the dirty pile that the tray should be put away but someone grab your waist made you drop your tray and brought your body closer to someone chest.

You look up to meet a guy, your eyes widen in shock only to meet your ex, Daniel. You and him were great couple back in high school but you caught him cheating with another girl at the hallway. You decided you don’t wanna see him and focus on your schoolwork. You got missed call and text message from him, when you saw him walk toward you, you show him the picture you took about him with another girl kissing each other. He was shock and try to make up excuses but you didn’t listen but slap him and walk away.

Now you see him again as a military soldier, you try to push him away but he held you tight. “Y/n listen I wanna talk to you.” He pleaded. “No! I don’t wanna listen to you after what you done to me since high school. If your girlfriend is here, go with her. Leave me the fuck alone!” Daniel try to hold you from breaking free but he was pull away cause him to let you go.

You look whoever is behind Daniel only to see Ghost and Gaz holding Daniel shoulders. “The lady said leave her alone.” You look over who’s behind you only to meet König, Soap, and Price. Daniel know who they are and he’s started to shake in fear.

“Take him to my office.” Gaz and Ghost nodded their heads and drag Daniel to Price office. “You okay?” König ask worry. You nod your head “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” Price pat your head “By the way, I check your results from training practice and we want you to be in our team.” You gaped in shock what you heard from him.

“R-Really?” He nod his head. You couldn’t help but hug him, Price didn’t mind and hug you back. You quickly pull back what you did “Sorry! I couldn’t help it!” Price chuckle “It’s fine. Now go back to your eating while me and my team are gonna have a talk with your ex.” He and his mens exit out the cafeteria. You hurry back to your seat and talk to your friend what happen.

—————————————-

Price Office

The Task Force 141 stood front of Daniel who lay on the floor cover in bruises and scars. “W… what do you want?” He groan in pain. “You touch what’s ours.” Ghost growl. “And we don’t want you get closer to her.” König growl. “Who?!” Daniel yell. Soap knee down front of him “Y/n L/n” Daniel gasp in shock what Soap said.

“Her? Look what you saw is- Ah!” Soap break his wrist. “You don’t deserve her.” Gaz join in pull out his dagger and stab Daniel both ankles causing him to scream in pain. Daniel scream for help as loud as he can “Scream all you want but this room is soundproof.” Price puff out a smoke. Ghost and König join in too as they all work together killing Daniel.

[agirlwithglam]

Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3

literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3

how to work hard + actually study (realistic)

forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link

use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.

ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!

parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.

honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.

( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)

You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.

And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!

And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.

Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)

dealing with social media:

put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.

screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.

more *extremely* helpful resourses:

tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying

how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)

studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls

more blogs i recomend:

@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery

xoxo, vanilla

[mylittlesecrethaven]

I'm Making Fluff Headcannons Cause I'm Sad: Savanaclaw

I've gotta remember how I set this up.

Otherwise it'll turn out like shit.

Oh well. Let's just see how it goes.

Leona:

I hope you like sleeping a lot

Cause this man will pull you into so many naps

Ruggie's gonna have to start making excuses for you in class

Also, this mans in loaded, so if you need anything, ask him

He'll just hand you his card

(with a sidenote of something he wants you to buy for him)

Not a pda guy

It's not that he's not ok with it

It's just that he doesn't feel the need to do it

Yes, he cuddles

But he's not into lovey dovey stuff

So you're gonna have to do it first

Teasing teasing teasing

I really hope you're ok with teasing

Cause unlike Ace, he won't lay off

And if it hurts your feelings, he probably won't know what else to do besides take a nap with you

But trust me, if he thinks you're asleep, he's whispering the nicest, most loving shit

And if you're awake when he does it, you'll just know he loves you, even when he can't say that stuff to your face

Ruggie:

Get ready to learn some life skills, my friend

Ruggie will teach you everything he knows

Haggling, thieving, speaking in different languages

You are gonna be well learned in the ways of the streets

Will always look out for you

He's a family guy

And a pack animal

So he's constantly checking on you

And making sure you're eating

And that you have enough money

And if you're feeling down, he'll ask Leona for some money and bring you your favorite food

And if you're favorite food is something Ruggie makes, you best bet he'll make it for you

Some days he'll be attached to you at the hip

And others you probably won't see him at all

But when he comes back after disappearing, he always brings you something (usually food)

And he'll be right by your side until he disappears again for whatever reason

But you never miss him

You just feel happy whenever he's with you

Jack:

You're about to get some muscle

Mans is gonna get you a workout routine

Y'all are gonna go on runs

(But if you get tired, he'll carry you)

You're gonna sweat together

(Outside and inside the bedroom hehehe (sorry, couldn't help myself with that one))

And you're gonna get a cactus

And your cactus and his cactus are gonna be friends

And they're gonna have matching names (probably named after some Spelldrive players who are friends)

He will keep you motivated

No procrastination with this guy

You not feeling up for schoolwork?

He'll hype you up!

You don't feel like working out?

Get ready to be motivated!

(unless you're really not feeling it, in which case he's ok with break days every now and then)

Also, nobody's gonna mess with you

Trust me

Jack's got your back

And even if you just need help, he'll be there

I'm gonna be honest, Ruggie's was kinda hard.

But anyway, we'll see when I get the next part done.

Hope somebody enjoyed this.

[finnbbl]

Hyunjin X M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 4

Ch. 4 - Meeting Stray Kids | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

| Story Masterlist |

Written: Yes

Smau: Yes

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I decided to go with Hyunjin for this story. Something about his personality draws me in and motivates me to write. I hope you guys will stick with me throughout it 🥹 (Feeling really inspired, so maybe a triple update today)

Warnings: Not much I don’t think, swearing maybe?

A couple weeks later..

Reading over that paper that previous week, you noticed it had said you would be leaving with Stray Kids within a few weeks. You weren’t sure if your eyes were working correctly. So you re-read it for what felt like a thousand times before you finally came to the conclusion that, yes, you would be leaving with them in only three weeks. Those few weeks were spent with nonstop rehearsal, which you didn’t mind. Dance was such a relaxing hobby for you. However, those few weeks left no time to actually practice with the idols yet. It was assumed you’d be doing that the few days before the first concert.

It wasn’t long before the 3 weeks was up. On the paper was also a list of stuff you should expect to bring with you. God did it seem like a lot, but you managed to fit everything into two suitcases. So there you were, luggage in hand at your front door as you waited for your friends who had agreed to take you. At 4 in the morning. They wanted to bid their final goodbyes before you took off for god knows how long. Soon enough, their car pulled up, one of the doors swinging open almost immediately. Next thing you knew, you were on the ground. “Y/NNN I CANT BELIEVE YOURE LEAVING!!!”

“Ohmygod Lia!” Laughs from the other four girls came from the car as they all watched from inside. “Now you know how I felt!” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah yeah,” Lia eventually got up off of you and held a hand out for you, which you gladly accepted. Not sure if you could see or think straight as your head had just collided with the wall pretty hard moments earlier.

“Guys we better get going if y/n is gonna get to the airport on time!” You and Lia heard Ryujin shout from the driver side window. With that, you two were in the car. “Sooo how do you feel y/n, going on tour with such a big group?” You shrug. “What do you think the answer to that is?” Your head cocked to the side as your eyelids fell, deadpanning at Yuna. “Nervous, as always.” A scoff could be heard from you, although she wasn’t wrong. “I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime y/n got nervous over something, i’d be rich.” Yeji stated as she turned her head around to face you guys in the back seat from the passenger side.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “You already are rich Yeji.” She rolled her eyes at you playfully before turning back around. “Well thanks to Lia I can’t even focus on being nervous now that my head is pounding.” You neared her face with yours briefly. “Not my fault, you started it.” Lia retorted, followed by a pout. Her bottom lip stuck out with her crossed arms, now avoiding eye contact with you.

“Oh just a heads up y/n, i believe you’re flying on the same plane as them.” Chaeryeong told you, this took you a back. “What? But i’ve never done that before, backup dancers have always gone on separate planes as the artists.”

“Yeah well, that’s our company for you.” Chae saw the way your head fell back at this information. “I better not embarrass myself.” Muttering, now with your head in your hands. It didn’t take much for you to get so anxious. You had your anxiety to thank for that. Always worried about messing something up, or embarrassing yourself. “And that’s why I told you now.”

A hand was placed on your shoulder from her, “Don’t worry, they’re really nice. Like we said. Just relax and take a deep breath.” Following her instructions, a few moments later you were able to push it aside. Not only that, but now you were at the airport. Spotting everyone at the designated spot to meet, you could already see the eight boys of the group. “Well, we’re here. Come on get out we want a hug before you go.” Smiling to them, you six stepped out of the car as they enveloped you into a giant group hug. “Tell us all about it. We wanna hear everything.” Ryu told you, as everyone else nodded in agreement.

The eight guys noticed that the members of their fellow group was onto feet away from them outside of their car. “Hey look, it’s ITZY. I wonder what they’re doing here?” Felix grabbed his friends’ attention. “Come on we should go, I wanna say hi to Yeji.” Hyunjin told Felix, who only agreed. Quickly, they were stopped by their leader. “We’re not supposed to leave without a body guard guys.” Bangchan had said as he put a hand on each of their shoulder. The other five, weren’t paying as much attention to anything going on. After all, everyone was tired as it was so early in the morning. Once the five girls had stepped back from what appeared to them as a group huddle, they noticed you standing in the middle of them. Hugging each one of them goodbye. “Wait who’s that?” Hyunjin questioned mainly to himself, but ended up grabbing a couple of the others attention. “Woah that’s y/n l/n. He’s such a sick dancer dude.” Suddenly butting into the conversation, was Minho. He could appreciate a fellow good dancer. After squinting, the other three could realize that it was in fact you.

“Ohh you’re right. Hard to see out here with how dark it is.” Lee Know could only tell by your signature cap you always wore. In fact, the whole group was familiar with you. You were always trending on social media, and you had danced with many great artists. A very well known dancer, but they wouldn’t have guessed you’d be traveling with them.

Just then, all five of the girls began smiling and pointing in their direction. Causing you to look over at them, you waved nervously as Lia started to drag you over to them. “Oh god Lia. Please do not embarrass me.” You haulted her to a brief stop. “Relax oh my god i’m not gonna do anything. Besides, embarrassing you would mean embarrassing me.” Her statement confused you, but maybe that was her plan as you were being dragged over again. Wasn’t long before you were standing in front of Stray Kids, a few other of the backup dancers stood to the side. “Hi guys, this is y/n.” Lia started to introduce you as you yanked your arm out of her grasp. “Lia, I don’t think they nor I came here for an introduction.” You let out an heavy breath and rolled your eyes. This earned a smile from a few of the members, at least the ones who had noticed the six of you. “Well anyways we should get going and so should you guys. We just came here to drop him off.” Chaeryeong stated before they started slowly making their way to the car. “It was nice to see you guys again, bye!!” All the girls called out their goodbyes to both you and the boys.

Moments of silence passed as you all waited for the rest to show up. Then it wasn’t long before you all headed to check in. “So, y/n…” You had heard someone next to you say your name. Hesitantly turning your head towards them, you realized it was Bangchan. After first finding out who you’d be touring with, you decided to do a bit of research on them. Learn their names and such. “Oh, me?” It was hard to believe someone like him would be talking to you. He nodded and chuckled at your response. “So how do you know ITZY? Never seen you dance with them before so i was just curious.” His head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh well uh, I went to high school with Lia.” A small smile fell on your face as you responded quietly. “Ahh gotcha. Well, we’re excited to work with you.” His elbow nudged you lightly, all you could do was smile like a dork. If it wasn’t thanks to your mask, you’d be an embarrassed mess. It was hard for you to take compliments, especially in person. A few more words was exchanged with their leader before you all made it to security.

The next few steps were done efficiently and quietly. Next thing you knew, you were on the plane. Examining the interior was like nothing you had seen before. You never expected the plane to be so fancy. Only having toured with a few other artists, who weren’t under very large companies. Considering how popular this group and company was, it made sense. You had learned from the girls how touring with artists worked, seats would be random but you’d only hoped you wouldn’t be seated next to one of the members. Not that they weren’t nice or anything, but you couldn’t handle sitting that close to someone so famous. They lived an entirely different life, one you’d never experience or understand.

But as your luck would have it, the tallest member of the group took the middle seat right next to you. Trying to avoid any unnecessary eye contact or interaction, mostly for your nerves’ sake, you found yourself staring outside the window. And it worked, for five minutes at least. “Heyyy y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” The member known as Hyunjin, had positioned himself to face you. With no other choice, you decided to turn his direction and face him. “Hey, it’s uh.. nice to meet you too.” Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, a gentle look resting on his eyes. Something about them relaxed you, and for some reason you weren’t anxious. Pulling off your mask, as it was starting to get pretty hot, you shot him a warm smile. Silence enveloped you two. As he was about to say something else, the pilot interrupted with the usual script they followed.

Taglist: @silverstarburst @virluna148

[shrekgogurt]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thank you for the tags! @artsyunderstudy @roomwithanopenfire @youarenevertooold @emeryhall @monbons @larkral I'm eating up reading your answers because we're all so DIFFERENT.

How many works do you have on AO3? 9 (technically 10 but we orphaned one of them out of shame)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 99,978 (mine) + 7,531 (shared) + 9,991 (someone else's) = 117, 500 (total)

What fandoms do you write for? presently, Carry On but back during my high school ff.net days I did some Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus (Percabeth and some separate OCs), Alex Rider (OCs), The 100 (as an elaborate prank), Harry Potter (literally just a My Immortal parody), and Divergent (OCs) and if they weren't oneshots they were never finished.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? YES! I'm currently behind on my replies, but it's so fun! It's like a book club but for stuff I created!!???? Shit rocks. I fully didn't expect anyone to read IKABIKAM (my first fic on ao3) when I first published it and so every comment still feels like a miracle.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I love collaborating because it gives me something to bounce off of. A scene partner. A ticking timer. It's like lifting a heavy object by yourself versus getting someone else to bear some of the weight with you. It's easier. I also find myself constantly seeking collaboration with other people even with my solo fics. I'm all up in those DMs pestering people both as motivation and as external processing. And by GOD, do you fuckers have some good ideas. Y'all make me exponentially better.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? SnowBaz but also in a very real sense...Percabeth. (You never forget your first.)

What are your writing strengths? I got my start with rping, so dialogue is really comfortable for me. I also think my training in other art forms (dance, music, theatre, film, academia) positively influence my approach. When writing action, I often mentally frame it as 'blocking' the scene or 'choreographing' the movement. When crafting sentences, I'm constantly evaluating the rhythm and rhyme and repetition (not to mention alliteration) as if it's a song, always searching for the perfect word or metaphor. I also listen to actual songs and pull the emotion from them, using them as character studies or a musical soliloquy. I imagine shots and then write what I see from the perspective of a director explaining the actor’s motivating thoughts. I constantly revisit my thesis, grounding the narrative in callbacks and a cohesive structure like it's an academic paper. And all those things combined create this kinetic cause and effect style I'm really proud of and tangibly improves every time I write something new.

What are your writing weaknesses? I do not have a firm grasp on proper grammar. I'm also really slow and inconsistent with my output because my process is so physically disorganized and meticulous which often frustrates me. I'm also impatient. I don't do wholesale messy drafts; I edit as I go and when I'm done I want it published immediately. I also fall victim to the white room syndrome with physical descriptions. Establishing shots? Don't know them. What a guy looks like? What they're wearing? Sorry, I haven't told you because it felt weird to jam in there. Outside of fanfiction, I also struggle with creating something from nothing. I'm a theologian rather than a god. I much prefer playing in a sandbox and exegeting meaning from someone else's grunt work rather than conjuring the wood and the sand myself. My writing is also incredibly referential to pop culture which I'm not sure would translate outside of fanfic, but I guess I'll cross that bridge if I ever get to it.

First fandom you wrote for? Divergent (big cringe)

Now tagging! @onepintobean @cutestkilla @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @mooncello @brilla-brilla-estrellita @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @bookish-bogwitch @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @urban-sith @prettygoododds @valeffelees @ileadacharmedlife TELL ME HOW YOU WRITE YOU GENIUSES

[oonajaeadira]

here's what i think

An anniversary is a really good time to reassess.

I really hate the lead up to my yearly job assessment, but every year I leave my boss' desk knowing that I'm valued and I'm actually contributing and innovating more than I can see from my perspective. It's an amazing motivator and helps me to appreciate my work. I hate doing it, but so glad when it's done.

I very much believe that we should have to retake our drivers test every year. It reminds people how to navigate a four-way stop and weeds out people who are not fit to drive for whatever reason. Cars are murder machines and a yearly test ensures most people will think about the choices they make and remember the rules more readily.

On our anniversary, the SO and I take the time to appreciate our relationship and put on the table things we'd like to work on or change, things we'd like to do in the next year together. It helps to get it out at once, shine up the nice bits, sift through the things we don't need anymore. Clears the air, confirms we're on the same page.

Birfdays should be the same. I like to walk through my day as normally as possible--well, maybe with a few treats--and just appreciate what I have, listen and look at the world around me and realize what life is and what's in it--that I"M in it. Try to clear my head of the mundane and see creation for what it is--one big damned miracle.

In a perfect world, I think we should be able to go to a life expert once a year on our birfday and just tell them what we think about anything and everything. Maybe just recount our blessings, talk about what we've learned in the past year, how we've grown spiritually or bodily. Maybe even just be quiet or say, "Yeah, it's good, I'm pretty content." However long or short it takes. Then they say, "Great. Today you are one year older. Would you like to try for another?" And most of the time people will say, "Yes. I will keep having this adventure" or "Yes, I would like to try a different tactic this year" or "It's hard, but I don't think I'm done yet" and they are sent on their way. The point being that they have to say out loud to another human "I am alive and here's how I feel about it and I'm going to live at least one more year if I can." But on the flip side, say you've been suffering illness or you're old and hurting, I think you should be able to say on that day "I've seen some pretty neat stuff and laughed a lot, but I'm not going to get better and every day will hurt a little more. I can't see myself going through another year of this. I think I'm ready to just call it in." And then you would have a medical team to help you shut it all down with ease and dignity and mercy. There's some nuance to every situation, of course. In a perfect world, I'm saying. A world that doesn't and can't exist.

A year is a very short time. It's long enough to forget rules or that things exist outside of routine. I always pop my parking brake when I stop for gas because if you don't use it--if you don't shake it up now and then--it can rust in place and get stuck. It can lose its function and reason for being.

I like to use anniversaries to "pop my parking brake" and "look through the owner's manual." Just to refresh. Just to make sure the system is functioning. And maybe remind myself on a tip or two of how to drive this thing.

Yes, life is very nice. I am enjoying it a lot. It was a good year full of friends and stories and dogs and seeing the world. Yes, I think I shall do another.

[creepylittlelady]

My opinion on Slenderman (INCREDIBLY OPINIONATED POST)

(If you guys are curious about my take on him, check out my post on Slenderman headcanons!)

Alright, I like to call myself a neutral person when it comes to stuff like this but GOD DAMN WILL I DIE ON THIS HILL. Slenderman is one of my favourite characters (Zalgo my love I love you so much), and one of the reasons why I like him is that there is genuinely speaking, NOTHING CANON ABOUT HIM.

It kinda confuses me about how black and white his characterisation tends to be. It's either he's your Dad who is currently yelling at Jeff for getting blood on the couch again, or he's the Heartless Narcisisstic Evil Monster who loves NOBODY and cares for NOBODY. I can deeply appreciate both sides, but claiming one over the other absolutely is kinda dumb.

In fact, trying to claim anything concrete about his character is a losing battle. There's nothing canon you can say about him; he has no backstory, he has no motivations for anything he did, he has no personality, he doesn't even really have a canon relationship with any of the Creepypastas. Sure, you can claim that what he did in Marble Hornets is a sign that he's evil and manipulative; but couldn't you say the same thing for, let's say Kyubey from Madoka Magica?

I don't know if he (Kyubey identifies as a male apparently) is a good example, but the point of Madoka Magica is that at the end of the day you can't call him evil. He's a completely different species with a different set of morals and therefore you can't just slap a 'PURE EVIL' label on him and walk on your merry way.

That's exactly how I feel about Slenderman. You can't call him evil and just walk away; there's so much more to him then that. You can say the same thing about Lord Zalgo, it's just so boring and typical to label them as 'Good' or 'Bad' and then just never try to write them in any nuanced way.

He has no backstory, there's no canonical reason for why he's doing any of this. Is he even aware of what's happening? Is he aware that what he's doing is bad? Is he just a nonhuman who is apathetic to the idea of human emotions? Does he have a good reason for doing all of this, at least, good in his mind?

I get so pissed whenever I hear the 'Slenderman is canonically evil' bs sometimes. Yes yes I get it he's not this wholesome father figure who'll provide for your every need like your own parents never did, but is that REALLY the only other option when it comes to how to portray him? Come on guys lets get creative! My own idea isn't all that creative; it's just a mixture of both versions tied into one, but I seriously wanna see some headcanons of him that aren't either:

Version A:

-Slenderman is cartoonishly bad at being a father figure, or he's just the background character. Some real 'JACK ARE YOU EATING ON THE COUCH AGAIN?!' Shenanigans.

Version B:

-Slenderman hates you. Slenderman will use his evil little powers to manipulate you into like idk being his slave or some shit and you should hate him because that's who he is. HE WILL BEAT YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT YOU WILL BLEED. HE HATES EVERYONE. EVERYONE HATES HIM. COLLECT HIS PAGES NOW.

Yes, he has done shit, but do you know why he did the shit? Do you know this dude personally? Has he literally come up to you and said 'Ahh yes I love abusing mortals it gives me so much karmic joy'. Deadass did Masky tell you that he beats his ass himself? The only thing he wants you to do is collect his pages.

Also don't misinterpret this post because I fucking LOVE AUs that make him into a villain but like in a good way that I absolutely adore. But why slander him for a version of him that doesn't exist? How on Earth do you a slander a character that has no personality? That's personally why Vocaloid Slander is weird as well; because these guys have got no canon personality.

Slenderdad does not exist. Slenderman the evil eldritch does not exist.

Slenderman does not exist.

That's why he's cool. Because he's basically the blankest of all blank slates, write him as whatever you want but don't claim that it's canon or 'realistic' or anything like that. I guess I can kind of see why you could say that evil Slenderman is realistic, but technically that's ALSO a headcanon. I don't believe his actual creator wrote him a personality beyond the fact that he kills people, and thats it.

Have fun with the guy, because he, alongside Zalgo, are characters where you can genuinely say anything about them and nobody can say you're wrong.

Anyways that's my rant post of the evening hope you guys enjoyed, make sure to smash that like and subscribe button >:3

Also feel free to debate with me in any way shape or form, this might be a terrible take and I'm open to changing my mind at any time in the future. This is just my current take on things.

[archetypal-archivist]

Azul-Yutu Thoughts 0.2

Because I have brain rot and I'm enjoying myself, haha. (A bit of house-keeping, two name changes: Fior -> Fiore and Morry -> Mori). World belongs to @yuri-is-online, give their stuff a read, it's very good.

School continues on for Yutu, his first year friends, Mori and Fiore, and his second year friends, Sav and Thrush. After the disaster with the professor of defense failing to protect his charges, Crewel's nixed most field trips off school campus, which has some of the second and third years (who were next in line for trips) going a little stir crazy. Naturally, Sav is among them and he's making that Yutu's problem.

Sav keeps wanting to hear about the time Yutu and the other firsties took down the blot monsters the foolish professor failed to defeat and Yutu is getting sick of it. He already knows where he messed up in his tactics, he doesn't need yet another break down of how it all went, the first three times were enough. Eventually, Yutu decides that if Sav wants to hear about battle, it might be good to hear from other people on campus as well.

He grabs Sav, Fiore, and Mori (who doesn't need much convincing) and parks them all outside for lunch near the old wishing well (where Epel used to sing). Thrush, sensing trouble, comes too and sits atop the well to listen in and watch for anyone coming by. Yutu explains that there's still a lot they have yet to learn about blot monsters; that whole 'replicating from a puddle' thing is just one such example. If they'd known that was a thing, perhaps the professor could have dealt with it properly.

As such, it'd only be prudent to hear about other experiences people have had with blot monsters. Their job, Yutu explains, is to divide and conquer, finding adult mages of a certain age who'd seen life before the apocalypse and have some combat experience. If they can, get their stories of combat, if they can't, it's just another data point. Namely, how many people have actually lived through a blot monster attack? What are the odds?

Everyone agrees to the plan and they split up, Thrush trailing after his brother, Sav running off to talk to his professors, Mori leaving for the infirmary, and Yutu... Not really sure where to go. See, Yutu kinda has another motive for this plan beyond gaining knowledge and getting Sav off his back- he wants to know more about what's out there and what his chances of survival are.

Having come to Twisted Wonderland against his will, Yutu knows his future is bleak and he doesn't really have a plan for what he wants to do after graduation. Life outside NRC is tough and with Crewel breathing down his neck, he's not sure he'd be allowed to leave the school grounds even if he wanted to. His only plan is a tentative wondering about the chance of killing his overblotted father for good so he can lay him to rest with his deceased parent, Yuu. And that means Yutu needs to find info on Azul... Which is easier said than done.

Jump cutting between the members of Yutu's group, first round is Thrush and Fiore finding a group of recent graduates who'd fought overblotted mages, the stressed 20-somethings sharing about how the Queendom of Hearts is nigh-unlivable and how their attempts to retrieve things from their old homes have all been failures. One of them mentions how they'd heard rumors about safe places, another mentions how there are stories of a dread queen in red with four loyal monsters who is laying waste to the Queendom.

Fiore is fascinated, having been born at NRC and never having traveled beyond the borders is what's allowed. Thrush is far more wary, asking if the stories about the dread queen are true. The oldest of the group admits that yes, they likely are, and that the dread queen is Riddle, an alumni of NRC who's magic could shut down the magic of others. The dread queen has a similar power, which is why encounters with that overblotted mage are so deadly. Thrush feels a shiver go down his spine at the thought.

Sav is talking with professor Trein, attempting to put some of Yutu's lessons on getting others to tell you things to use. Of course, he's butchering it slightly and Trein is the last person to try this on, so eventually Trein asks Sav to cut to the chase. Sheepish, Sav asks about what it's like to fight an overblotted mage and Trein sighs before detailing his experience covering the retreat from the Shaftlands.

See, the Shaftlands are haunted by the monster of one of his old students, Rook Hunt, who makes sure no one lives within the borders of what he considers to be his 'Queen's' territory. Who the queen is, no one knows, but only parts of the snowy North and the driest parts rugged deserts/plains are safe, too difficult for Rook to travel. Trein hesitates for a moment, recalling Vil, before moving on to talk about the actual fight and how deadly it was. The only reason he survived was because he stepped over the border and Rook stopped attacking.

Mori is in the infirmary, greeting the healers there by name, who ask him if he's there for his 'usual'. He turns them down, then goes to talk to the patients, asking them about what landed them in the infirmary. They confess having tempted the outskirts of Briar Valley, bringing aid and supplies to those still trapped behind the massive walls of thorns. You'd think a kingdom where the most dangerous mage was asleep instead of a blotted ghoul would be safe, but that's not even close to the case.

When attacked, mages default to using their magic to defeat other overblotted mages, which drives them into over-blotting too. Since Briar Valley has the highest concentration of mages, it's a very, very dangerous place. Camps of survivors exist on the outskirts where Draconia's sleep spell is weakest, but news from them is rare and often consists only of casualty reports. As for Castle Draconia? Forget it. Briar Valley's king is asleep and everyone hopes he stays that way. Mori listens to all this in silence.

Cut to Crewel and he's being brought up to speed by someone off camera, learning that Yutu and his friends are looking for information on overblotted mages and how others have fought them. He frowns, looking serious, before sweeping out of his/Crowley's office, speaking over his shoulder that he needs to go talk to someone. Camera pans around and we see Sam take Crewel's place in Crowley's old chair. Only now, Sam is a withered husk of what he once was: estimated age, over 80 years old. Cut to Yutu and we see him enter Octavinelle from the main entrance just as we see Crewel enter the mirror for the Octavinelle dorm.

Cut again to Thrush and Fiore and the duo are play-shoving each other in the halls as they head for dinner. Fiore comments that he wasn't aware that there were 'boss mode' overblot mages, Thrush pokes back that Fiore's been spending too much time with Mori if that's how he's thinking. At this point, a passing old man chimes and claims that yeah, Fiore has about the right of it- some blot monsters really are 'Boss level.' As in, they control other overblotted mages and monsters.

The old man explains that he's from the Sunset Savannah, which is relatively safe thanks to the actions of their second prince, Leona, who had sacrificed himself to save the land. See, the prince had smarts, had figured out that there's a source for all this nonsense: a group of super powerful beings called Phantoms, twisted ghouls of the Great Seven. And Leona? Leona died to kill one. Thrush points out that if this was true, then more people would know about it, but the old man points out that it's not the amount of people who know, it's who knows. And trust him, he says, the right people know.

Back to Sav, he comes up to Fiore and Thrush's table with a troubled look on his face. He sits down with his tray of food (something canned and reheated with a side of fresh vegetables) and explains what the professor of botany said to him: that there are no blot monsters in the Scalding Sands. Apparently there's some sort of 'master mage' who rules the territory and demands fealty of all who live there, attacking anyone who gets too close to the palace. Those who are disobedient will die, monster or not.

Thrush startles then admits that such a mage sounds a lot like a 'phantom', proceeding to describe what the old man from earlier had told him. This troubles Sav further and he wonders aloud why they were never taught about these phantoms and why no one ever put together a strike team to go deal with them. If this Leona could kill a phantom, why hasn't anyone else tried. Fiore is excited by the prospect, Thrush is wary, pointing out that there has to be a good reason and it likely has a lot to do with not getting anyone killed. Fiore wonders aloud if it wouldn't be worth it though, to save lives, Thrush dope-slaps his younger brother upside the head, and the table resolves into silence.

Mori hadn't made it to dinner and is instead buying some instant noodles from a vending machine in Ignihyde. He turns to look up at a camera peering down from the ceiling corner and he gives it a little wave and a smile. He then tells the camera that he's found his 'party' and they're doing reconnaissance on the overblot phantoms. Mori waits for a moment, as if hoping for a response, but he gets nothing. Then he shrugs, muttering to himself with a smile that he supposes 'he can't always be watching' before turning on his heel, heading for his room. Through the window, the moon is rising, casting dark shadows across Mori's retreating figure.

Yutu steps into Octavinelle and immediately feels at home- which conversely has a shiver running up his spine, putting him on edge. Feeling at home in a place he's only just now visiting? Yeah right. Wary, he steps forward, caught up in admiring the colorful reefs and underwater scenery as seen through the glass tunnel to the main lounge area. As he walks, however, Yutu notices that there's a lot of people here and many of them look deeply unhappy. Couples staring up at the water, hands plastered to the glass, ignoring each other entirely; children sat in a line watching the fish in utter silence; then faces, empty faces, scars and sharp teeth and rough patches of dry, picked-at skin... It hits Yutu that these people are all merfolk, civilians displaced by the apocalypse that made the seas unlivable.

Stumbling through this tableau of both natural beauty and grieving humanity, the camera arcs over Yutu's head to catch the glass ceiling before returning to focus on his gently sad expression- then it zooms in over his shoulder to a bar where Crewel sits, talking to the bar tender. Cut to Crewel, he's drinking something fruity while Jade, the bar tender, cuts up slices of apple for other people's drinks.

Crewel tells Jade that Yutu has been settling into Savanaclaw nicely, Jade hums, waiting for the real reason Crewel is here. The headmaster keeps making leading small talk about Yutu's investigation and his parentage before sighing, finally asking Jade if there's going to be any... Problems. Jade's knife slams hard through an apple, leaving a neat half behind as he murmurs that at last, the truth comes out. Jade stands to full height and tells Crewel that no, he won't have any problems with Yutu coming to talk to him. Indeed... (And here he looks over Crewel's head to Yutu, who's standing, shocked, behind the headmaster).

Azul was one of Jade's dearest friends. Yutu fights back a gasp, not wanting the vulnerability of shock, and Crewel spins in his seat at the sound. He goes to introduce Jade but Jade beats him to it, coming from around the bar to stand in front of Yutu, hand over his heart as he introduces himself, explaining his place as Azul's friend and longtime business partner. And- here Jade pauses, tilting his gaze up to look out the window to the sea beyond- he believes he and Yutu have a lot to talk about.

[artist-issues]

Hello, brother/sister (sorry I found out you existed today lol) in Christ! I just started my own blog yesterday, and I wanted to ask you two questions!

how did you come to Christ? (I am a sucker for testimonies, lol)

how can I preach the gospel on Tumblr with gentleness and grace and love for others? (and how do I not get involved in a keyboard smashing session, haha)

thanks for your time, God bless and have a great day! :)

I came to Christ when I was 15. I’m a Pastor’s kid. So the truth in the Bible was about as impactful to me as reciting my ABCs. But when I turned 9 I started to tune in to the parts about Hell and eternal damnation and freak out about it. So I believed God was real, and Hell and heaven were, too, even though I was living for myself. I started asking questions and praying for my salvation around that time, but it was only to “get out of going to Hell.” I had zero interest in the things of God, or submitting to Him. My top priorities were getting everyone to think well of me, especially my family. So I was super good at saying all the right things and doing all the right things, then behind closed doors I did whatever sinful stuff I felt like doing without a shred of thought for God.

Whenever I panicked about verses like “depart from Me, I never knew you,” I’d pray and ask the adults around me how to tell if I was “really saved,” (again, making zero connection between “saved” and anything except “get out of Hell,” in my heart) and they’d try to explain. But I always just latched on to phrases like “it’s not some sparkly feeling,” and quit panicking and went back to living for myself. But that really is what I was missing—a feeling. Specifically, passion about God, and what He loves, and what He wants, and who He is. That, and submission & repentance 😅

So that pattern went on till I was fifteen and old enough to go to this summer camp. And I was finally away from my usual circles, where I only thought about God in the context of “what does everyone here need to see me doing to think well of me?”

At this camp, the counselors and the teachers cut through all that in like 24 hours. They were like, “yeah, you don't have to give me the correct answer; I know what the teacher just said, but what about you? What do you do, in your life, on your own? What is it like when it’s just you and God?” And between that, and the crazy “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me except God” culture of the whole staff and everyone at that summer camp, God started getting ahold of me.

He started making me think about how everyone else wasn’t just “living for God” as part of their social bubble. They actually felt something genuine about Him. And I didn’t feel that. I didn’t feel anything, and I couldn’t *think* or *reason* or *force* myself to feel what they all seemed to be feeling.   They did this skit, and it was all about how broken sin makes us, and feeling the weight of that, and how Christ is the only salvation, and then that was followed up with this no-nonsense authoritative preaching from God’s Word, about how being “saved” isn’t just from your sin. It’s from yourself. It’s from your *lack* of caring about what is good, of caring about God.

I actually finally realized that when everyone else was out of the picture and it’s just me and God, I don’t care about Him. Even though I know what He did for me. And that felt like the most crushing vile sin of all of them, of my whole double-life. And I couldn’t get out from under it. But then it was super clear: He said He’d give me a “new heart.”

So I asked Him to save me and make me care about Him, and I’d live the rest of my life doing what He tells me to do.    He has done that! Not all at once, but gradually. I care more about doing what He wants, even if nobody in my favorite circles comes with me, than I ever thought I would. And there’s no explanation for it, because I had all of the circumstantial and situational reasons to have that kind of motivation for the first 14 years of my life—and I still didn’t. The only explanation for the change is Him. 

As far as how to talk about it here on tumblr...I've never really started a conversation specifically to lead someone to Christ online. I don't think online is the place to try that—but sometimes the topic comes up naturally because it's relevant to what I'm talking about in a post, like values in movies or if an important truth comes to mind and I feel like posting about it.

If you don't want to get into arguments, the best thing to do is not reply. People here tend to intentionally re-phrase everything you say into something they can buck and kick at, even if you choose your words super carefully. It's because they don't want to have a discussion. They either want to be right, or they want to make you look like a fool. It's impossible for them to do either of those things if what they're arguing against is truth—but they tend to just keep trying if you reply.

I only reply if I feel strongly that others might read the interaction and get the wrong idea about God, or truth, because of the word-twisting of my opposition. However, it's up to your personal conviction! 

My main advice is, don't ever stoop to returning insults. If someone calls you stupid, don't call them stupid back. If someone says something that's just a personal attack on you and has nothing to do with what you're arguing about, you can call it out--"what does that have to do with anything?"--and move on, or you can totally ignore it. And if someone just keeps on re-phrasing everything you say, like this:

Me: There's always more to learn, you don't know everything about what all Christians believe.

Them: I can't believe you're telling me you know more than me, lol, I've got forty years of experience

Then just block 'em. They either don't have good reading comprehension, or they don't want to actually debate in order to highlight truth. They want to debate to hear themselves talk, to convince themselves that they're right, to look like they're right in front of their followers, or to make a fool out of you. None of those are good reasons to debate.

They're looking to discredit you by any means necessary—including twisting your words. See how I said nothing about how much more *I* know than the other person? But somehow they took the point of my phrase and twisted it into a personal attack. That sort of thing isn't worth wasting your time on.

My dad likes to say, "nobody wins people to Christ by arguing them into it." I don't know if that's true, but it has been based on my experience. That said, I think truth is worth defending, and I think we're commanded to stand up against what is wrong. However, there comes a point when it's really just falling on deaf ears and continuing is a point of pride instead of humility.

For your questions, I'd see what the Bible says! 

[scarlet--wiccan]

Is there a stated (specific) reason why the high evolutionary kidnapped the maximoffs, experimented on them, then gave them back? Did he have a specific goal in mind or was it just general mad scientist stuff? Were they targeted for a specific reason (beyond the implied racism ofc), or would any babies have worked? Were there other babies experimented on? Was it Bova’s, Natalya’s, or someone else’s efforts to get them back to their original family? (because it seems kind of out of character for THE to make an effort to return the children he stole and then experimented on…)

Yes. Wyndham's motives are clearly stated in Scarlet Witch. The timeline of events after the children were taken is left somewhat more ambiguous, but we can piece it together from context.

In Scarlet Witch #11, the priest, Drobnjak, explains to Wanda that the Evolutionary had been sending his Knights out on raids to locate human subjects-- specifically children-- with latent powers or supernatural abilities for him to study and augment. Drobjnak was aware, at the time, of a witch's family living in the area and figured that the children would have inherited some of their mother's power, so he gave the Knights their location in the hopes that they would leave the area once they found what they were looking for.

In other words, he sold them out. There's a pretty clear undercurrent of racial and religious prejudice on Drobnjak's part, and Wanda explicitly points out that he was comfortable sacrificing her and Pietro to ensure the safety of his own community and parish. But for Wyndham, the twins were viable test subjects because they had latent powers.

A lot of people-- myself included-- forget this detail, but the twins were already living with Django and Marya when the Knights abducted them. Natalya had apparently left them with her brother and his wife while she was off doing, you know, dangerous superhero witch stuff. So, the twins were actually taken directly from Django and Marya, and later returned to them. This contradicts previous accounts of their adoption, but it's also a lot easier to believe that Wyndham basically put them back where he found them, rather than going out of his way to locate their family. It lines up with Wyndham's account in Uncanny Avengers (2015) #4, as well, which was probably important for Robinson since he was building directly on top of that retcon.

Here, he states that Django and Marya are their "true parents," but it's a discrepancy that's easy to forgive if the twins were already living with them before Natalya's death.

It's worth noting that in most older versions of the story, he actually shows a lot more concern for the babies' well-being, and he's the one who goes out of his way to find them a loving home with parents who'd recently lost their own children. Obviously, that's a very different character treatment from what we see in these mid-2010s stories, but my point is, it's not impossible for me to believe, based on what we already know about Wanda and Pietro's origins.

I think it's probably safe to assume that Bova did urge Wyndham to return the twins to their family when he was done with them. That's what happened in their previously established backstory, and there's nothing here to contradict it. But Robinson makes no effort to justify Bova's now-false accounts of the twins' birth or explain how and when Chthon got involved-- I don't think he's mentioned once in the whole series-- and Natalya's death is still a mystery. I suppose we don't even know if Wyndham was aware of Natalya's identity or knew that he she tried to get her kids back-- it just never comes up, and nobody's touched this storyline in nearly ten years.

[oobbbear]

Hi again. I hope you’re doing alright and I hope I personally didn’t make you feel upset or uncomfortable or anything. I feel part of it is my fault that you feel down about your art…

But I want you to know that you and your art are truly special and wonderful. Even if it is simply just a hobby…

You and your art mean a lot and I hope you know that you are important and you matter very much! ❤️

First thing first, it’s not!!!!! I love your questions it’s just I had some hard time coming up with answers, it’s never your fault don’t say that :’) !!!!!!

I’ll do my best to answer some of your questions, please take all of these with a giant cart of salt I don’t know anything

Do I study art? Yes, I’m currently in college studying animation. Is it worth it? Depends, most of the stuff they teach you can learn online for free, companies don’t really look at their education level when hiring an artist they focus more on the person’s portfolio, if you can get the job done then they would hire you👍 most people here are to build connections and have a environment and peers to motivate themselves to study.

For the second question, how do I balance art and life? The answer is no I don’t :’) the problem with turning your hobby into work is that you don’t get a hobby anymore, I draw for school then I draw for myself it’s all I do I draw, non stop… I’m trying to get into new hobby lately so I don’t burn my passion away it’s a bit hard but it’s going

Third question is it an alright source of income? I don’t have an answer for it yet since I’m still in school, but from what I heard it really depends. Animation jobs are gig based, it’s not a stable career you’ll be running around finding new jobs every few months. Most artists I know have a side job that they can lean onto when they’re in the middle of job hunting, either an Etsy shop or commissions. The pay depends on the studio you’re working for, if it’s a big company then they can pay you okay, it’s a big company at least they have policies and regulations. if it’s small production then it’s hard to say, many are too much work for too little pay.

The animation and gaming industry are not doing well either, so many experienced people are getting laid off lately leaving little chances for newbies it’s a burning dumpster of a industry and don’t even get me started with ai art … I don’t want to sound negative and kills someone’s hopes and dreams but it’s really not the best place to be at the moment, I don’t even know if I want to do animation in the future it’s kinda frustrating

I’ll leave the final decision to you ofc, I’m not saying don’t study art, just that you need to think this through, there are positives like you’re gonna learn so much new stuff to better your work, and you can do something you enjoy as a job, it’s so much better than spending your life doing something you don’t like. But there’re also negatives like it might kill your passion and a job is hard to find