#Yes he still make his own bread and has chicken

[magicalrocketships]

pretty much every day i just think abt small!max saying "daniel, my daniel" when he sees dan. it's with me forever!! ok that's all

Okay, this awakened something in me, and I've missed Go Small! Max. Thank you, anon!

All earlier parts can be found in this masterpost and on AO3 here.

Five times Max calls Daniel ‘my Daniel’ (and one other time)

One. 

"No," Max says politely but with zero room for negotiation. "I don't want that."

That is a plate of sandwiches that look decidedly soggy, oil softened vegetables leaking out of a thickly sliced sourdough. 

Daniel looks up at the waiter. "Could you do some sliced bread and butter instead?" he asks, moving Max's plate out from in front of him. He finds room for it on the table next to him and opens up the sandwiches, starting to scrape the vegetables out onto the plate. In hindsight, it was a bad order. He'd seen the tomatoes and thought that Max might like them. 

The waiter comes back over with two slices of bread and a pat of butter; Daniel makes yet more room on the table to butter the bread and cut it into halves, then deposits it in front of Max. He goes back to scraping the mediterranean vegetables out of the sandwich, dumps the bread on his plate, then starts to pull out the tomatoes so that they're separate from the rest of the vegetables. He offers the plate to Max, who stares at it dubiously. 

"You like tomatoes," Daniel says. 

"Hmm," Max says. 

Daniel doesn't force him. He sets the plate down and shows Max his fork in case he wants to try anything, then eats his own pesto chicken on toasted sourdough. 

Max picks at his bread and butter, then after eating a piece, he uses his fork to carefully eat two little roasted tomatoes. He clearly considers this enough vitamins and nutrients for this meal, and goes back to his bread and butter. He does, however, drink his apple juice. 

"Is the bread nice?" Daniel asks. His sandwich is decidedly mediocre. 

Max considers. "Yes," he says finally. "Thank you, my Daniel."

Something inside of Daniel's chest shifts. He's changed forever. 

"Good," he says, his voice catching. "I'm glad."

&&&

Two. 

Max hasn't wet the bed in weeks. The nightlights had finally managed to turn frequent into infrequent into barely ever. 

Barely ever isn't not ever, though. Daniel's woken up by an insistent little hand on his shoulder. "My Daniel," Max says, sniffling. 

Daniel blinks away sleep. "What's up?"

"The bed's wet," Max says. 

Daniel sits up. "That's okay, Maxy-Max," he says. "That's okay. Nobody's mad."

Max sucks in a ragged, tearful breath. 

Daniel kisses Max's flushed forehead. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

Max tucks his hand into Daniel's, sleepy and tearful, and holds on. 

&&&

Three. 

"I didn't know where you were," Max says reprovingly, once he's discovered Daniel face down on the sofa, snoring into a Pokemon cushion with the TV on low, and poked him awake. "There's no breakfast bowl."

That is a reprimand. The rule is, no TV before breakfast. TV is allowed with breakfast, but the new rule came into force last week when Max refused to eat anything because he wanted to watch Detective Pikachu through to the end even though his tummy was rumbling. So: no TV before breakfast. 

Daniel didn't go to sleep until after four, though, and he's only out here in the living room because he'd finally got bored of watching the time tick by on his sunrise alarm clock and had resigned himself to pulling an all-nighter. He'd come out here to drink coffee and watch whatever he could find on TV in the middle of the night, then had promptly passed out eight minutes into an old episode of Friends. 

"You have to turn the TV off," Max repeats. 

Daniel obliges. He still feels mostly asleep. He rubs his fists into his eyes. 

"Hmm," Max says. 

"I didn't sleep very well," Daniel says. He doesn't look at his watch but Max likes to be awake pretty early. As an adult Max likes to sleep late, but kid Max doesn't feel the same way. Consequently, Daniel's life has flipped to an early bird timetable. His body hasn't quite caught up, though, and there have always been nights where he's stared at the ceiling for far too many hours. "Might have to be careful with me today, champ." He does finger guns to try and make it cool, but he's just tired. 

Max blinks at him. "Okay, my Daniel." He turns on his heel and disappears out of the living room, before coming back in clutching Pikachu. "You can hug Pikachu," he says. There's a pause. "Can we have breakfast now?"

Daniel laughs. "Sure can," he says, wrapping an arm around Pikachu's round middle. "What are we having today? Would monsieur like a fish? An omelette?" He does his silliest French accent. It's very bad. Max laughs. He always has the exact same breakfast. Max likes cereal. Cereal, and his milk in his own special jug. He won't entertain anything else. "A croissant, Max? A fried egg? Un oeuf?"

"No, no, no," Max says. "Cereal, please."

"Coming right up, monsieur," Daniel says, and as Max pads into the kitchen in his pyjamas, Daniel's heart skips a little soft beat. 

&&&

Four. 

"Daniel, my Daniel," Max calls, barely even waiting for Daniel to get out of the car. Daniel's been into the village to get fresh bread for lunch, and he's come back with wine for him and his parents, a few bits and pieces his dad had wanted for their dinner that evening, and a new bat and ball game for if Max can be tempted out of the pool for any significant period of time. 

Daniel grabs the bags. "Maxy-Max," he calls back, finishing off with his best camel impression just to make him laugh. He wanders around to the back of the house to the pool, where his mum and dad are — predictably — in the water with Max. "Mum, Dad. Everyone present and correct, I see."

"Watch me," Max tells him, clambering out of the pool and getting water everywhere. "Look what I can do now!" 

"I'm watching," Daniel says. 

He watches Max sit down on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water. He puts his hands above his head, shaped like he's going to dive, and Daniel knows what he's going to see. This is how he got taught to go into the water face first. His parents taught him and now they're teaching Max. 

Max tilts forward and forward until he's going into the water in a little seated dive. He emerges from the water, beaming, to Daniel's mum and dad clapping him, and Daniel cheering. Max swims over to the steps, and Daniel's waiting for him at the top of them. He gets a very wet and very excited hug. 

"Did you see?" Max asks. 

"I saw," Daniel says. He blinks away tears. He doesn't know why he's crying. "I saw, and you were brilliant."

"Good," Max says solidly, and follows Daniel inside, little wet footprints all the way after him. 

&&&

Five. 

Max is three. He's sleepy and full, a solid little lump in Daniel's lap. He's demanded three stories already before bed tonight, and Daniel's accommodating because in the morning this little version of Max might be gone. Daniel might get his seven year old Max back, or he might wake up to an empty bed and two missing cats, and Max having left to pick his life back up. 

Daniel kisses the top of Max's head. "This is the last story," he says, but he'll probably stretch it out until Max falls asleep right where he's sitting. There's no rush, anyway. There's nothing for either of them to do with their days. He turns the pages in their little book about kittens.

"My Daniel," Max says sleepily, a little garbled around his thumb. He sucks his thumb when he's three, and Daniel hasn't any interest in stopping him. He'll let Max have anything he finds comforting. He deserves the little kindnesses. 

"My Max," Daniel says softly. Max is falling asleep in his arms, his eyes drooping. It's time to put him to bed. "Time for sleep, my little Max. Time for bed."

Max is asleep by the time Daniel's carried him through into the bedroom. He doesn't stir as Daniel tucks him in, as he makes sure the nightlights are all turned on and that Pikachu's in easy reach. 

He stands in the doorway for a long time before he turns away. 

&&&

(And Another Time)

Daniel is so, so tired. His body feels heavy. His mum had gone with him to the doctor's yesterday, and they'd stopped at a pharmacy on the way home to pick up his new pills. She'd brought him a glass of water and a plate of crackers to have with the first dose. He'd downed them all obediently. 

They're not magic. He's not woken up this morning feeling happy again, or like his chest is more than the black, sucking hole where his heart used to be. 

He doesn't open his eyes. A tear escapes without his permission. He hates this. He hates feeling like he does right now, hates the nothingness, the weight of his body against the earth. 

"Hey, Daniel, my Daniel." It's Max, sleeping next to him for the fourth night in a row. He's big but he hasn't left. He always leaves but this time he hasn't. He's still here. He strokes Daniel's hair. "It is okay. I am here and your mum's here. We will make it all all right again. I promise, Daniel. You don't need to cry." He strokes his thumb under Daniel's eye, catching Daniel's stray tears. He wipes his thumb on the sheets then curls his hand into Daniel's. He laces their fingers together. "We've got you."

And Daniel, desperate, holds on. 

&&&

(thank you to Lin @andwegogreen for reading these as I wrote them tonight 🧡🧡🧡)

[achillesuwu]

Post-return arthur that is so bored that he tries to make some food but he falls miserably because 99% of merlin house work with magic.

Electricity? Gas? Plumbing? Merlin never heard of her. The only non-magical technology in his house is an "cat" (*cough*dragon) toy that his new baby dragon wanted. That's it.

Arthur that got locked outside because the house was cross with him.

Arthur that tried once (1) to go into merlin office and— (Arthur : *glare*we don't talk about it) hem, never went alone in it ever again (hegotbluehairandturnedintoafrog.simultaneously)

Merlin house being strange enough to keep arthur entertained (by frustration) but also familiar enough in its lack of technology to not overwhelmed Arthur

[ghostfaceprincess]

Them Cooking For You For The First Time:

-

TW: Language.

-

Michael Myers:

• I mean… he really did try.

• Surprisingly decent, it’s just a little burnt.

• He decided on steak and mashed potatoes.

• Hey, he’s proud of himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

-

Freddy Krueger:

• Used his glove to cut up everything; and I do mean everything. The meat, the veggies, etc.

• He decided on chicken pasta with salad as a side.

• The pasta is cooked perfectly.

• He pairs it with a nice wine. 10/10.

-

Jason Voorhees:

• He… tried.

• It’s supposed to be spaghetti…

• Hey, the garlic bread is good though!

• Maybe you should do all the cooking and he’ll do the dishes.

-

Billy Loomis:

• He surprised you! The food is so good!

• He made chicken with mac and cheese, corn bread, and green beans.

• He did not make dessert though.

• He was hoping you could be dessert. 😏

-

Stu Macher:

• THIS MAN CAN COOK IDC WHAT ANYBODY HAS TO SAY

• A full meal plus dessert.

• Everything is cooked and seasoned perfectly.

• Yes, you heard me, s e a s o n e d.

-

Charles Lee Ray:

• He gave up before he even started.

• He ordered Chinese takeout and then plated it.

• He also paired it with beer.

• He didn’t think about dessert.

-

Tiffany Valentine:

• Oh, she went all out!

• She made you like four different meals and desserts to go with them.

• “I just wanted you to have options.” What a cutie!

• “The rest can just be meal prep!”

-

Bubba Sawyer:

• He made you the beeeeeest fucking soup you’ve ever had. Well, it’s more like a gumbo, but still.

• He made dessert as well; just classic chocolate chip cookies.

• He did ask his brothers for help.

• He smiles proudly as he presents it to you.

-

Thomas Hewitt:

• Did everything all on his own.

• Made ribs with fries.

• Literal 10/10.

• He knows how to add some flavor!

-

Art the Clown:

• Cook?

• Yeah, no. He gets take out and does not try to take credit for it.

• He does plate it very nicely though.

• Pats your head as he hands you your plate.

-

The Creeper:

• He let you pick what he made.

• And he did it perfectly too!

• There’s so much seasoning and flavor.

• Though, he can’t perfect all meals. Just this one and a few others.

-

Thanks for reading! 🦇🖤

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Reiji ver.]

Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [レイジ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 8 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: Honestly, Reiji deserves so much more respect than what he gets. Not only does this man get up early to get chores done because his other five brothers won’t do jack-shit, he even goes out of his way to do extra groceries and make a first-class breakfast for his girl. I feel like most of the other Diaboys could barely even toast a piece of bread without burning it lol. 

*Cling cling*

You enter the kitchen.

“...Hm? What is the matter? It is still too early to be getting up.” 

You ask him why he is up already.

“Unlike the other people at this home, I happen to have an extensive to-do list, so I must get started with all of my chores early, or else I will regret it afterwards. ーー More importantly, you mentioned something about not being able to sleep? If you are feeling unwell, I can get you some medicine.”

You explain.

“Do not tell me...You cannot sleep because of the hunger? How unfortunate...I cannot believe your stomach is growling despite getting three proper meals a day. You should know better.”

You apologize. 

“Well, I shall forgive you this once. I suppose it is partially my responsibility as well for not looking after you better. ーー I suppose it cannot be helped. We still have time before we have to leave to school, so I shall make you an early breakfast.”

You seem excited. 

“Yes. If you have any requests, go ahead. As you should be aware, I am quite confident in my own cooking abilities. No matter how complex or luxurious of a dish, I will prepare it to perfection. Well then, what is your order?”

You make your request.

“What did you...say just now?”

You repeat it.

“You are asking me to make...tamagogake-gohan, out of all things? You crack a raw egg (1) over the rice, add some soy sauce and you’re done. You want me to go out of my way to make something so simple?”

You ask him if he won’t make it. 

“No, I never said that I will not make it. ...Very well! I shall show you what a real plate of eggs over rice looks like!”

*Thud*

“In which case, we must first gathered the necessary ingredients. There is no time to lose! I shall call the limousine at once. Off we go!”

You seem surprised.

“What are you doing!? Come on, make haste!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Clatter clatter*

*Rustle*

“It is truly a blessing that there are stores which are still open in the middle of the night.”

You offer to pay for the parking fee since he has his hands full with the groceries.

“That would be a big help. This is the money. Here you go.”

 You ask Reiji what is inside the bags in his arms. 

“Excuse me? Can you not tell? They’re bags of rice. There’s high-quality rice inside.”

You seem surprised.

“You came along not even realizing why we took the car? Haah...You truly need to do something about how slow-witted you are. One cannot cook without the right ingredients, so we shall we going around to gather all of the necessary things. ーー The very best ones available!

Tamagogake-gohan consists of a perfectly balanced combination of eggs, soy sauce and rice with each ingredient being brought to its full potential. We cannot afford skimping on any of them. ...I happen to be a regular at this store, you see. The rice sold at this store has been selected by a rice connoisseur of which only a few exist in this country, so it is of the highest quality!”

You tilt your head to the side.

“You do not even know what a ‘rice connoisseur’ is...? Take should be common knowledge. Make sure to do your research afterwards, understood? Anyway, we are headed for the chicken farm next. I know it is quite late, but I am sure I can arrange something by using my connections.”

You frown.

“Why the hesitation? We are talking about the eggs which are the main star of the dish! I will not make any compromises!”

*Rustle*

“No more dawdling! Let’s go!”

*TIMESKIP*

The two of you return home.

*Thud*

“...Haah. That ended up taking more time than I anticipated.”

You admit being glad that you’re finally done. 

“What nonsense are you spouting? We finally gathered all necessary ingredients! If we’re ‘done’, why did we get these fresh ingredients in the first place? But we must make haste, or else the others will wake up.”

*Rustle*

“To the kitchen at once! We shall start cooking!”

The two of you go to the kitchen.

“We shall start by cooking the rice. I believe that I can skip over the instructions for this one.”

Reiji gets the rice cooker started. 

*Beep*

“Next we must choose which bowl to serve it in.”

You ask if that is important.

“Why of course. A high class meal is not only defined by the food itself. One must choose a plate which will truly bring the dish to life.” 

*Cling cling*

“Let me think...Usually I would go for something a little more ‘art nouveau’, but how about we use this bowl today? I am glad I decided to purchase this one for moments like this.”

You note that it is quite plain.

“What are you saying? A plain bowl is a fine piece of silverware as well! Just look at the gloss and pattern, simply marvelous!”

You raise one brow.

“Why are you giving me that look? I do understand that I might sound rather out-of-character right now, but look at it like this. I even went out of my way to buy a home-style takoyaki grill to hold a takoyaki party at home, so I must keep the name of the Sakamaki household high. ...More importantly, we should finish setting the table before the rice is done cooking. Well then, please lend me a hand.”

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji opens the rice cooker.

“It turned out rather nicely. The rice looks shiny and has the right amount of fluffiness to it. As to be expected of a dish made with a product from a true rice connoisseur!”

You point out that his glasses have fogged up. 

“Do not worry about my glasses being fogged up. It is only natural for this to happen when exposed to hot steam.”

*Cling cling*

“More importantly...Let us get started! ...Allow me to show you my skills! ーー I shall start by scooping the fluffy rice into the bowl. Rather than filling it to the brim, I will serve a moderate portion. This is the most elegant way to serve it. Then on top I will sprinkle some cod roe, dried seaweed and yuzu salt. ...It would be rather boring to stick to the basic recipe, no? This is my personal interpretation of the dish, do not worry. I can assure that it will taste sublime.”

He cracks an egg.

“Well then, last but not least we crack in a fresh, raw egg and pour some of this special soy sauce on top. ーー It is done. This is the Sakamaki household’s version of tamagogake-gohan!”

*Thud*

“Well then, here you go. Please dig in while it is hot.”

 You take a bite.

“How is it?”

You tell him that it’s delicious. 

“Why of course. It is a dish which was carefully crafted to bring out all of the aromas, flavors and textures to their fullest after all. The rich eggs and the deep flavor of the soy sauce go perfectly with the fluffy rice. However, right when you think that it might be a little blend and one-toned, the cod roe, seaweed and yuzu salt kick to add a new flavor profile so you never get tired of eating it. 

This is how tamagogake-gohan should be. Do you comprehend?”

You nod.

“Pleasing your palate is child’s play. ...Well then, usually I would go wake up the others around this hour, but I suppose we can postpone it a little for today.”

You ask Reiji if he will have breakfast as well.

“Yes, I figured this was a fine opportunity for me to enjoy a meal alongside you. You could say this is my award for all the hard work I put in. You do not mind, do you?”

He joins you at the table.

“Usually there is always someone making a fuss. I rarely ever get the chance to enjoy a meal in peace. In that regard, perhaps I should be grateful to you. However, make sure to warn me before you get peckish, okay?”

You nod.

“Very well. Let us dig in then.”

*Cling*

“...Mm. I suppose having a meal together with just the two of us like this is quite enjoyable every now and then.”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Raw eggs are commonly consumed in Japan since the country has no history of salmonella being found in eggs. By cracking the egg on top of steaming-hot rice and instantly mixing it together, the heat from the rice will also slightly cook the egg, so it’s not 100% raw when you eat it. Still, the consistency of the dish is quite ‘goopy’ - for lack of a better word - so I understand why a lot of people (myself included) would not find it very appetizing. :p

[felinisnoctis]

Bonded Pairs: Food and Fondness

Zariel belongs to @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan and Cedric is @sleepyfan-blog's of course. They're a good apothecary duo.

And of course @nightshade-victorian for the bonded boys.

Tags: @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @egrets-not-regrets @sleepyfan-blog @kit-williams

“Hi, I need to speak to Apothecary Zariel?”  The ultramarine at the desk eyed the baseline human standing in front of him.  They were carrying a large cooler that to astartes senses smelled of meat and bread and onions.  “I have a delivery for some of his patients.” It was late, and the waiting room was nearly empty.

“Please have a seat in the visitor lounge, I will ask him to come down when he has a moment.”  The ultramarine sent a quick message off to the apothecary, who came down to the lounge after several minutes.  “I have a break in my rounds?  Oh, that smells good.”

Robin nodded.  “I made some astartes-sized chicken pot pies for Gerhardt and Asariel, if it’s ok for them to have.  There’s a couple marked for you and the other staff here too.  They’ll just need heating up real quick before you eat them, I made sure to make them in cardboard trays so they can be microwaved.”

Zariel smiled.  He’d already deduced that this baseline was bonded to Gerhardt, and it looked like the bond was settling in well.  “I’m sure they’ll be happy to know you’ve been thinking about them.  And thank you for thinking of us apothecaries as well, I’ll be sure to deliver these appropriately.”

He lifted the styrofoam cooler onto one shoulder and headed back towards Gerhardt’s room, smacking away the hands of some of his grabbier brothers on the way.  “These are for my patients, not for you.  You’re not suggesting that you’d like to take food away from your injured brother-cousins, are you?”  He reached Gerhardt’s room and entered.

The room was empty.  Shit.  He’d just found Asariel and now his other patient was gone?  He sent out a quiet alarm call to the other medical staff, indicating anyone who wasn’t urgently busy should help  him look for the patient, and then rushed over to check on the newly returned blood angel.

The mystery was solved as he opened the door.  Asariel was in his bed, dark eyes burning holes in him.  Gerhardt was slumped next to the bed, fast asleep with his head against Asariel’s chest as the other’s arms wrapped around his shoulders.  Zariel sighed and cancelled the alert and called for someone to move Gerhardt’s bed into the room.

“If I keep you two in the same room will you please stay in bed?” he scolded, beginning to examine his patient to ensure there was no further damage from his escapade.

“Yes sir.  I just need to be with him.  Especially when he has his seizures.”  Gerhardt sounded apologetic but Zariel could tell he’d do the same again if they were separated.

An assistant entered with Gerhardt’s bed and Zariel carefully eased Gerhardt back into it.  Asariel scooted over to the edge of his bed and reached a hand across to his brother, eyes still watching Zariel suspiciously.  Zariel sighed again.  He might need to speak to the salamanders about having a double sized bed made.  And maybe see if one of Cedric’s brother-cousins could be spared to keep an eye on these two.

“Robin brought you some meat pies, would you like one?” He said, instead of what he was thinking?

“Wait, why would they do that?” Gerhardt sounded legitimately bewildered.  “You’ll have to ask them later, but they smell good,” Zariel replied, dodging the question for the moment.  “Shall I have some heated up for you two?”.

Gerhardt thought for a moment, before responding “Yes please.”  After another long moment and a suspicious look, Asariel signed “Yes” as well.  Soon the pair were both settled back eating; the protein and carbs would do them some good.

Zariel settled back into his office to eat his own treat, calling Cedric in to talk to him.  The young apothecary gave a very wide-eyed hungry look at the meal.  “Yes, there’s one reserved for you as well.  Come in, I have a favor to ask of some of your brother-cousins."

[qtssvnwoo]

hii ik ive requested before but could i request a neville x huff!reader where like the reader is really loud and extroverted and has adhd but neville is his quiet self and he loves listening to her ramble about everything and anything? <333333 love your work bestie

You can request as many times as you'd like bestie <333

Prompt List-If you wanna request!!!

Masterlist- All my fics in one places for you!!

His (Chatty) Hufflepuff-Neville Longbottom

Neville wasn’t exactly the most extroverted person. He was typically quiet and didn’t say too much in class unless called upon. He had very few friends, and he honestly kept to himself a lot. Neville was picked on and teased for being ‘forgetful’ and sometimes, it made him sad, but he knew that what the people said was true, so he didn’t mind all too much. 

You on the other hand were like a bouncy ball. You’d talk and talk and talk until you physically could not. You were very energetic and tended to convey that into your words. You had quite a few friends and you were known for talking really fast. People liked you, and knew you as ‘the energetic Hufflepuff’. You had a habit of telling everyone everything and some found it quite annoying, but you didn’t care. 

Thats why, when Neville asked you out one day during fourth year, people were surprised when you said yes. They were even more surprised when you two continued to date for the years following. You and Neville were polar opposites and people found it odd that you two had been together for so long. 

“His quietness would send me through the roof.” Some people would say.

Or

“She’s too loud, and she is quite energetic. I would get annoyed quickly.” Others would say.

But, you never listened to them. Probably because you were too focused on talking to Neville. 

“OH OH OH OH OH. AND THEN, and then Cathrine told Henry that she never actually liked him! Can you believe that? After seven years together you think she would’ve truly liked him. I mean, if it was me, I would’ve never been with Henry because I’m convinced his favorite food is garlic bread! He always smells like garlic. I actually like Garlic I think it's yummy. And I like dipping it in pasta. Do you like Pasta Neville?” 

Neville smiled up at you from where he was sitting. He was trying to do his herbology homework but he was so engrossed in listening to you that his homework had made its way back into his bag. You two were sitting underneath the tree in the courtyard, and Neville watched as you laughed and smiled. Truth is, he was more paying attention to your lips moving and the sound of your laugh than your story, but he still answered you. 

“I like Pasta.” 

“Oh that's good because I LOVE Pasta, if I could eat pasta everyday I could. Well, maybe not everyday because I would get sick of it, and if I got sick of pasta I would be so sad because I LOVE pasta Neville. I really like when they put that white sauce on the pasta too, with the chicken. OH speaking of chicken, did you know my brother has a chicken farm in Italy! He raises chickens, Neville! Can you believe that?”

“I cannot.” 

“Me either, I could never be around chickens. They smell and they are very very loud. Kind of like Henry. OH OH OH Did I tell you that Henry and Cathrine aren’t together? They broke up because Cathrine said that she never liked him.”

You continued to talk, all your stories and little speeches always got mixed and tangled together, but you somehow managed to always bring it back to the main point. 

Neville sat in the courtyard listening to you rant about everything for the next hour, but he didn’t mind it. He loved the way your voice sounded, how you would laugh at your own jokes and the way you always asked him a question every now and then to keep him interested in the conversation. 

People walked past and they wondered how you two could stand each other. But you knew that with Neville’s quietness, and your chattiness, you were a perfect match. And no one could ever make you think otherwise.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

how do the m6 act when they're feeling petty??? and how does mc deal with it?

The Arcana HCs: M6 being petty

~ how do I begin to say how much I love writing about these lovely characters being typically human? Thanks for the prompt anon, enjoy! - brainrot ~

Julian

He acts petty about the smaller things as a way of being silly. He can hold onto a hurt, but he prefers to deal with that stuff more directly

You see it come out the most with his younger sister Pasha

She'll be rolling her eyes at him, telling him he's an idiot and she doesn't need his help

He'll be cleaning up after dinner with her and put everything away on the top shelves

She'll get annoyed and start telling him to pull them back down for her: "I know you know what you're doing wrong, Ilya!"

"What's that? I'm just your idiot older brother, Pasha, since when do I know what I'm doing?"

"I mean it! Take them down for me now, you know I can't reach up there!"

"I thought you didn't need my help."

He'll be giving her his usual rogueish grin, casually dodging her swipes at his kneecaps as he pulls everything back down

He wants to get his point across though, so he'll use the opportunity to reorganize her kitchen while she's distracted

Now the dish towels are in the oven and the sugar and salt are mixed up. He might even dose Pepi with some catnip on the way out

Asra

For someone with such a chillaxed approach to life, they are surprisingly easy to annoy

And yes, he gets petty when he's irritated

It rarely happens with you (usually when you're trying to annoy them on purpose), and then his petty retaliation prank is just for show (or to make a gentle point)

But if it's someone being genuinely maddening, maybe a Karen in the market place or a self-important jerk cutting in line?

Barely detectable spells designed to make them question reality in a decidedly unpleasant, but harmless way

The Karen screaming about the pumpkin bread being overbaked is suddenly under a 30 minute enchantment that makes her say the opposite of what she intends to

You've never heard anyone serve compliments so angrily: "Exceptional service! This bread is flawless! You're not being unreasonable, I am!" All while slowly turning purple with rage

And oh no, look at that, the guy who shouldered his way in front of you moments ago just made a beeline for the public lavatory, almost like he has sudden diarrhea

"Oh no, MC," Asra whispers quietly in your ear, dimples dancing, "Oh nooo ..."

Nadia

She gets petty when she feels like she's been insulted or underestimated

It's not her best look, but she has a lot of pent-up resentment about feeling constantly humiliated by her older sisters

So of course, that's what she does to the unfortunate nobleman who tries to mansplain his way out of taking care of his tenants in front of her court

She'll pull out the file of information she's gathered and grill him with no mercy: "You currently own 4 properties valued at ____, correct? And you charge your tenants ____ per month?"

You watch him go pale and gulp, "er, yes, Countess. But with the rain, building costs-"

"Your maintenance to date is estimated at costing you ____, leaving over 50 separate complaints unaddressed, some of which are several years old. If my numbers are correct, (and they are always correct, nobleman) you still have _____ in profits. That should easily cover the estimated ____ required to restore acceptable living conditions. I expect to receive a glowing report from your tenants next quarter. Will there be any issues?"

She usually feels guilty afterwards, but you can't blame her. It's just so gratifying

Muriel

He can hold a grudge, but his brand of petty is hard to notice until you get to know him better

It'll only happen with people he trusts, when they do something he disapproves of

For example, the time Asra visited and decided to feed the chickens some breadcrumbs soaked in mead. Just for fun

Watching tipsy poultry stagger and drunkenly cluck around your front yard was hilarious, but also a little sad

And Muriel doesn't appreciate it when someone disrespects nature. Even Asra

He'll sulk. It's a little comedic to watch a full grown man give someone the cold shoulder and huff and stomp his way around the hut, but it's surprisingly effective

Especially when Inanna joins in, skulking by his side and shooting the occasional disdainful glare

Asra crumbles when Faust sides with them, riding on Inanna's back and blepping at her master reproachfully

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have -" *giggle* "I shouldn't have intoxicated your chickens! It was very rude of me."

Really the apology is all Muriel wants, he'll stop sulking and maybe laugh about it later

Portia

She gets petty when someone comments on an insecurity of hers without meaning to

Being the younger sister of a charismatic older brother means that she *hates* being compared to him

She'll be enjoying drinks with you one evening at the Rowdy Raven, and one of the local regulars will make the wrong comment

"Hey, it's Devorak's little sister! Look at you carrying all those drinks, I bet you can hold your liquor almost as well as he can."

Uh oh. It's on.

She'll turn, smiling sweetly, and challenge him to a drinking contest in front of the whole tavern. He'll need help getting home

She won't stop there, either. After that it's arm wrestling, darts, even an insult war in which you hear some of the most creative roasts you've ever come across

All as her Nevivon accent gets thicker and thicker, curls flying and eyes sparking with triumph as she demolishes poor fool after poor fool

She'll be embarrassed about getting so carried away the next morning while she's nursing her hangover

It's worth it because Julian is now known at the Raven as "Miss Portia's older brother"

Lucio

In the same way that he only throws his tantrums cathartically, his pettiness is his other method of handling his short temper

On one hand, you're proud of him. It's a big improvement from ordering someone's execution because he didn't like what they said about him

On the other hand, it's hard to take him seriously when his response to an unwelcome comment is to mimick it back in their faces because he can't come up with a witty comeback

He'll be passing back by a merchant he tried to haggle with earlier when their shop assistant makes a friendly jab at him

"Hey, Mr Adventurer! You back for that deal, or is it still too much?"

He'll barely miss a beat spluttering before he whirls around and responds in a squeaky mocking voice at the top of his lungs:

"Hey shopkeep! You back for that deal, or am I still too much?"

Apparently, the teenaged assistant in question is gifted in both good humor and snark. There's a crowd gathering for the free entertainment and it's fueling both of them

Neither of them seem afraid of being immature in public so you wait it out at the nearby tea stand until they're satisfied

(If you liked Lucio's part, I highly recommend the meme my lovely mutual sent me based off of it here)

[baileys-3]

NEW CHAPTER ONLINE on AO3

It's Date Night and First-Kiss-Night.

Little Sneak Peak below the link.

Half an hour later she is standing at the food truck, thinking about what to order. She could be mean and get something vegetarian with tofu. But she is not that mean. She decides on a salad with breaded chicken strips. Because she doesn't know exactly when Tim is coming, and she doesn't want the food to get cold until he gets here. And with salad, that definitely can't happen. She buys two more drinks in a red can and hopes it's something along the lines of Coke.

Then she takes a seat at the only table still free. Which is right next to the pavement. But at least there is still one table free. The truck seems to be more popular than she thought. But it's also a nice place. The neighborhood is quiet. Many nocturnal walkers use the adjacent park, and it even has a slightly romantic touch. She didn't just imagine the fairy lights, they're real.

Lucy pulls her phone out of her pocket and sees a message from Tim, who texted her five minutes ago that he is just leaving now. She puts her phone back and leans back in her chair. And then just watches the people on the road. The cook of the food truck. How he prepares his dishes. The cars driving by.

Suddenly a hand comes to rest on her shoulder and gives her a quick squeeze. She looks up and sees Tim standing next to her. She just smiles at him, and he just smiles back. Then he pulls the chair that is on the opposite side of the table from there next to her and sits down on it, wide-legged. So that his knee touches her thigh. It is almost impossible to get any closer. Otherwise, he would have to sit on her lap.

He looks around briefly.

"Treats of Vietnam. That's where we ended up." He says and she must laugh. Yes, this is definitely a different location than the n/naaka yesterday. "So, I guess this is our official first date."

"Mm, last night was, for sure. I mean, it's a better story for the grandkids."

Oh Shit. Did she just say grandkids? Yesterday she was making it clear to him that she wouldn't go to bed with him right away and now she's telling him about grandchildren.

[kai-anderson-whore]

I heard someone needs Colin Zabel suggestions and I GOT YOU. I literally CRAVE Colin fics. Im probably gonna send multiple submissions but this is the first one.

Colin x Reader cuddling up on the couch watching something about hoagies (it’s a sub sandwich if you’re wondering what it is. East Coast dialect 😚) food network on the tv. They both start craving it and decide to make one. But Colin and reader do not agree on meats/cheese/veggies/condiments that should go on to make the “perfect” hoagie. So they have a silly food battle on who could make the best hoagie like they’re on a competitive cooking show. After their both done they try each other’s hoagies and then their own. Colin hates to admit it but reader was right.

This one was short sorry but more Colin fics coming in the next few days 😊

Hoagies (colin zable x reader)

A/n; I don't know what actually goes in a hoagie in other countries so sorry if its not accurate the hoagies you get in Scotland where I'm from consists of chapti bread, Donna meat or chicken tikka, fries with cheese and chilli sauce so that's why I wrote that

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

It was your usual Friday night laying on your boyfriend's lap on the sofa watching food network on the tv, a thing about hoagies on making you absolutely crave one "Oh I could go one of them tight now with donna kebab meat fries with a load of cheese and chilli sauce" you groaned on colin's lap who looked at you with a chuckle "no thats not a hoagie y/n it has to have deli meat like salami and ham with salad" he protested making you sit up from his lap in shock.

"No it's not trust me my way of a hoagie is the best" you insisted you tried the hoagie you prefer when you and your best friend went on holiday to Scotland and tried one you never looked back learning how to make one of your own, "you thinking what I'm thinking?" Colin asked raising an eyebrow at you, "food battle" you smirked getting off the sofa you and Colin zoomed straight to the kitchen grabbing all the ingredients you needed for your food.

You and Colin now stood at either side of the kitchen island you cooked the fries in the oven, before preparing the meat, Colin was busy telling you he would win whilst preparing his hoagie, "Oh your so going down" he smirked cutting the bread up, "no your going down zable" you smirked back now cooking the donna meat.

"East Coast vs scotland" you laughed throwing a bit of lettuce at Colin who tried to catch it in his mouth but failed miserably, making you laugh your ass off almost falling to the floor, "I can't believe you completely missed that it was almost in" you said in between fits of laughter, "I could have gotten it if you knew how to throw better" Colin teased tossing another piece of lettuce which you caught in your mouth.

It didn't take long for the meat and fries to cook coating it with cheese and salad with chilli sauce you took your knife cutting the food in half for you and Colin and he did the same with his one, "be prepared for your taste buds to have a orgasm" you stated giving colin his half.

Colin gave you his half of the hoagie he made you took a bite you had to admit it was good but you still stood by the fact that your one was better, you watched as Colin took a hesitant bite of your hoagie chewing the food his eyes almost popping out of his head a moan of delight let his lips.

"This is really good wow okay you were right it is like the best thing ever" he mumbled his mouth full of food,"Colin don't talk with your mouth full but yes I told you so" you laughed about to take your half of the hoagie you made, "Hey what are you doing?" Colin asked looking a bit disappointed that you took the rest of the hoagie.

"I'm taking my half col" you chuckled taking another bite of the hoagie, soon enough you and Colin were full laying back on the sofa cuddled up almost falling asleep from being too full, "I don't think I can watch anything about food tonight" Colin chuckled his eyes closed with you laying on his chest, legs tangled together as the tv still played food network.

"Me neither I could sleep for a hundred years right now" you mumbled almost drifting into slumber neither of you wanted to get up too comfortable on the sofa, "that doesn't sound too bad right now" Colin yawned holding you closer to him drifting off to sleep.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

So…forgive me if you’ve done something like this before but Steve/Nat/Bucky have been living rent free in my head for a while now and I thought…what if Nat was just having a really lousy time and Steve and Bucky just cooked her an authentic Russian meal to cheer her up but they can’t cook. So they keep practicing and tasting until they get it right…putting on weight as they go because…decadent cuisine, amirite? She notices her little pelmeni getting bigger but she doesn’t mind. She keeps tasting, taunting them, saying it’s not right, try again. Until they get it right, only they’re not the only chubby ones anymore…but Nat doesn’t realize it until she indulges in one of their truly amazing meals and ends up popping a button. Sexy times!

Completely ignores the fact that the last writing I did here was all but a month ago and returns like nothing happened.

I haven't done something like this before! I dig it! It's giving this scene between Wanda and Vision

Also, it reminds me of this Steve and Natasha fic that I adore "Shaping Happiness"

Inspiration/reminders aside... yes! This idea is great!

I went off the prompt a little bit because I couldn’t help myself, I hope it’s still enjoyable!

Warnings for Steve × Natasha × Bucky belly kink below the cut. Unbeta'd. Stuffing, weight gain, dirty talk, etc.

At first, all the food Steve and Bucky attempt to cook for Natasha to cheer her up is truly terrible.

Steve has never been much of a cook, so he claims it’s not his fault. Listen! He's unlucky enough to burn water! So, as Bucky rediscovers Steve’s kitchen ineptitude, he's quickly relegated to boiling water at most and tasting as Bucky cooks at least. Steve cannot be trusted with knives and veggies most of the time (Bucky will never understand how he’s a superhero who can hold his own in combat), nor can he be trusted to measure something correctly (he’d much rather just "eyeball" it), and there is never a time where it is acceptable to allow Steve to cook something. He will turn up the temperature, thinking it’s not cooking fast enough, and accidentally attempt to burn the entire apartment to the ground. So, Steve gets to taste.

Only taste.

Bucky will give him spoonfuls or bits and pieces, and Steve will greedily take them. Praising Bucky’s cooking ability (re: his non-disaster existence in the kitchen that Steve occasionally envies, lmao) and asking for more, please? Weaponizing those pretty baby blues when Bucky’s successful enough for things to be edible.

Obviously, Bucky is a better chef between the two of them, but he's out of practice (years of being the fist of HYDRA will do that to you) and unfamiliar with these kinds of foods. So, even though he's still got a few of his Ma's recipes in the very back of his brain (not that Depression-era foods to keep the family fed are very good compared to a lot of these Russian delicacies), nothing is really… right… when they first begin making comfort food for Natasha.

They try all the staples:

Solyanka (sweet and sour beef stew), zharkoye (beef (or whatever extra meat you have around the house) and vegetable stew), zharkeo (chicken stew), etc.

Borscht (red beet soup), okroshka (vegetables, egg, potato, and meat soup), rassolnik (beef, barley, and pickle soup), shchi (cabbage soup), ukha (fish soup), etc.

Pelmeni (meat dumplings), pirozhki (savory baked or fried puff pastries), blini (wheat crepe-like pastries with sweet or savory fillings), borodinsky (dark rye bread), vatrushka (sweet pastry with cottage cheese and raisins), shashlik (kebabs with cubed meat and vegetables), ikra (caviar on bread/blini), pirozhki (yeast dough stuffed with savory or sweet fillings), etc.

Morozheneo (extra creamy Russian ice cream), pashka (sweetened cheesecake), kartoshka (basically Russian cake pops, often chocolate), kissel (cherry soup), medovik (layered honey and condensed milk cake), etc.

Steve will often spend the time that Bucky is spending cooking by looking up new recipes, and new foods, making sure to take them from credible sources so they don’t end up in a “diner situation”

The diner situation was what happened when Bucky was first recovering and they were surviving on takeout because Bucky was too afraid to allow himself around knives again and Steve was struggling (unsurprising), so no cooking for him, and they went to an “all-American diner.” Hoping for a taste of home and instead finding that the diner served food that was God fucking awful and worst of all, nothing like the actual food of the day it was claiming to represent! It made them both feel worse - lonelier. No one understood what it was like. What the food was, what the culture was, what it was like.

They don’t want that.

They will not be making some bogus “Russian food” that isn’t actually authentic.

Anyway -

All traditional Russian cuisine that Bucky attempts while Steve watches and tastes and researches aren't any good at first.

Like, they suck so much that Steve and Bucky don't even serve them to Natasha. Tasha doesn’t even know what they’re doing. She’s always out on missions or on Capitol Hill with Fury whenever they try their hand at making her familiar Russian foods by their design. While alone together in the apartment, Steve and Bucky quietly try each creation themselves, can barely swallow it at first, and decide… not yet.

Not yet.

They both want it to be perfect.

So, even when Steve begins to use his puppy-dog eyes for evil, begging for more treats, more tastes, because, holy shit, Buck, that’s great! That has to be what that is supposed to taste like! They don’t share the plan with Natasha yet.

Not yet.

Natasha catches onto the fact that something is going on as she starts to squint her eyes and pinch Steve’s hip or ass, gratefully sighing, “at least between the two of you, someone is fully embracing the house-husband lifestyle.”

Embracing the house-husband lifestyle by packing on a few pounds. Just enough to soften Steve’s usually perfect abs into a flat belly (unless he’s stuffed or bloated) and turning his thighs and ass into soft, squeezable shapes.

Bucky and Steve have both retired, giving them all the more time to spend experimenting and practicing recipes for Natasha as house-husbands and homemakers. But Steve is the only one beginning to plump up. He’s stopped going for his morning run and afternoon workouts cold turkey. Bucky still goes to the gym. He finds it meditative. Cooking and working out seem to be some of the only things that completely clear his mind. Steve, on the other hand, has always been single-minded. And it seems like eating has taken up all of his focus.

There's no room for anything else.

Steve tastes as Bucky goes, describing the flavors the best he can, telling him what he might try adding and how the flavor compares to what his research has told him the dish is supposed to be like. Then, when the dish is done, Steve tries it first, while it’s still hot (even if it’s supposed to be served cooled, Steve can’t help but have a healthy serving before it goes into the fridge). He gives notes again. Bucky tries it when it's fully ready. He has a nibble or two, just enough to taste - nothing like the full servings that Steve takes. Bucky has already had his lunch, and he doesn’t want to spoil his dinner. Then, if it’s good, Steve eats the rest of whatever they’ve made.

All of the rest.

Bucky’s taken to telling Steve to “hide the evidence” since they don’t want Tasha to know until they’re ready for her…

Is it really hiding, though, if they both know where the extra food is ending up in the form of a pretty, shaping-up pot belly? Sticking straight out from Steve's well-defined chest.

Food for thought. Ha.

“What is Bucky feeding you when I’m away?” Natasha purrs, on her knees, her sharp, white teeth digging into the new slope of Steve’s belly. He chugged a whole, huge pot of stew when Natasha texted an approximate 10-minute ETA. Getting rid of the evidence except… the stew was full of melt-in-your-mouth meat and potatoes and salt. Heavy. This stew isn't fucking around and it's apparently delectable (Steve's word). So, it’s obvious where the stew has gone. Right into his pot belly.

Swollen.

Once Natasha arrived, Steve was still sweating and just beginning to bloat up like a balloon from the excess sodium. And Tasha's always present 6th sense for knowing how best to drive Steve up the wall, complained about how hungry she was.

A devious grin split Bucky’s face, asking what she was craving because they’d be sure to order lots of it. Whatever she wanted.

She said Indian food.

Perfect.

That’s not something Steve can resist. He loves Indian food. And, sure enough, he wolfed down a whole ‘nother dinner. Getting red in the face from the spice heat and temperature heat, his poor belly gurgling loudly in a fit of digestion.

Steve shrugs in reply to her question, biting his lip out of arousal but also out of desperation to hide the overfull groan that wants to come out of him. He’s been fighting burps and moans and hiccups all evening. Trying to not make his packed state so fucking obvious.

Bucky thought he was into seeing Steve like this - bloated and round - because he loves seeing his fella happy and healthy and fulfilled. Bucky thought he was into cooking and baking and experimenting with food for Natasha because he loves her, and he wants to make her happy and bring her comfort and just do something sweet for her. Those things are true. But, watching Natasha dig her painted nails into Steve’s soft parts…

There’s something else here, too.

Woo, boy.

“Mm,” Natasha is half-asleep, exhausted from yet another mission, yawning, and curled up like a cat in a sunspot between them. Her head is cushioned on Steve’s chest, “‘m pretty sure we could get rid of our pillows and be just fine.” She squeezes the pec that her head isn’t pillowed on in her hand, groping him, “got enough right here.”

Steve inhales shakily, turning bright red.

Bucky can tell by looking at him that he’s not insulted, far from it, that’s his this-is-making-my-dick-hard face. He's squirming, too. Blood going straight for his dick with a vengeance.

“Eh, just wait a little longer 'fore we make any rash decisions, m'kay, doll?” Bucky murmurs, amused, running his metal fingers through Tasha’s fire-red hair.

She grumpily frowns but then snuggles more into Steve’s jiggly chest, taking it as being warned about how tired she is rather than waiting because Steve’s going to get plumper. More cushion.

Good.

The more blindsided she is by the comfort, the better. Bucky wants it to take her out - to make her feel so much better that all she can do is accept it. She has a hard enough time allowing herself simple pleasures.

She deserves it all and more.

“Damn, Rogers, you ever think about doing a centerfold? I’m pretty sure Playboy would make an exception for you if we asked.” Natasha husks, her face all up in Steve’s business. Lips and teeth and tongue working at his little hole while her hands spread his extra full cheeks apart.

Steve simply whines, high-pitched and pathetic.

It’s a damn good response, considering her question and considering how Bucky has his cock rammed down his throat. Stuffing him.

Steve is suspended between them, face-planted onto Bucky’s cock, choking, his arms useless, half crushed under his chest against the bed, and arching back against Tasha. His legs shake under him when Natasha does something special with her sharp tongue. Steve’s in heaven. Choking on dick, throat full, and getting fucked with a hot, wet tongue deep inside his sweet hole.

Now, after weeks and weeks of practice, not just Steve’s big, heavy dick hangs down toward the bed... now his belly does, too. It jiggles when he squirms. Every time Bucky squeezes his growing gut, Steve makes a sound like he’s dying. It’s a different sound to what he makes when Natasha gropes his thickening ass or widening love handles. Also, different from the sound he makes when they feel up his expanding tits. All his sounds are sweet, but the sound he makes for his belly is especially guttural and desperate.

“Curves for days,” Bucky bites out, thrusting in hard. “Better than any of the girls in those pages.”

Steve chokes.

Tasha laughs, just this side of cruel. “Mmm-hmm,” she spanks his ass just to watch the fat flesh ripple, “getting more and more curves these days. I guess retirement is good for somethin’.”

The growl Bucky lets out is unintentional. It’s barely been a year since they retired. So, what will Steve look like in a year? What will Natasha look like when she’s face-first in his ass then? Will Natasha have to buy a longer strap to reach Stevie’s hole, much of the plastic length getting swallowed by his monstrous ass? How fat will Steve be if they keep going, his perfect, little, superhero figure ruined?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Bucky can’t take the thought. He ends up coming down Steve’s throat with a shout from behind gritted teeth.

Steve doesn’t mysteriously grow forever, though...

When they’re ready, Bucky and Steve arrange with Fury for Natasha to have a full three-day weekend off, no interruptions unless the world is literally being torn in two. Then, with the guarantee, they prepare.

First, Steve does research into the traditional Russian foods that would be used for a celebration - a feast - and arranges an entire multi-course menu for the occasion. His poor belly, so used to tasting and now able to recognize most of the dishes he comes across, wails the whole time he works. He’s not hungry. Not exactly. He just wants something in his mouth. He wants to taste. He can’t wait for the feast. Bucky has to remind him again and again that this is Natasha’s feast. She’s going to eat what she wants, and then Steve can destroy the leftovers.

Second, Bucky prepares all the dishes. One last time. Every detail on point. Practicing. Getting everything as perfect as he can. Making sure the dishes and drinks in each course compliment each other well.

Steve gobbles it all up, stuffed like a traditional American Thanksgiving turkey by the end of it. Panting around his bounty, all of it shoved down his throat, turning his belly into a red, tight beachball that Bucky wants to worship.

And for once, Bucky is relieved that Natasha is currently, before her long weekend, on a multiple-day mission. She’s out of the apartment and not returning tonight. He’s relieved because it means he doesn’t have to explain this to her.

Steve. Stuffed. Food-drunk and hard and moaning about it.

There’s no way this would be an accident. No one gets completely, illogically gorged like this without trying.

When did tasting bits and pieces become vacuuming up the entire dish Bucky made anyway? Bucky doesn’t exactly know. But he can’t complain. All he can do is rub Steve’s skin with lotion then jerk him off slow and tight, dragging it out until Steve is sobbing, holding his taunt gut desperately like he can keep himself together, keep himself from splitting at the seams, and then blacking out when he’s finally allowed to come because it feels so good.

Third, they prepare all the food before Tasha is set to arrive home. She’s been in debrief most of the morning, but before that, she caught a cat nap on the quinjet and then showered at Stark Tower. She should be refreshed. There’ll be no reason to delay the feast. Bucky doesn’t want to have to reheat it and ruin some of the delicate flavor.

He wants it perfect.

Steve waddles around, helping Bucky to set the table the traditional Russian way - including the shot of vodka next to the water and wine glasses. Steve waddles because Bucky had to make sure he had his fill of food before the feast. Otherwise, he would’ve probably been helpless not to hoover up all the decadence laid out in front of him. He’s created a monster. Even if it’s been hotter than sin to watch him lose self-control after so many years of being perfectly in control of every little part of himself and his life - but, there needs to be an intervention of that new habit today.

So, Steve is stuffed, barely holding himself together. Panting. Flushed. Sweaty. Aroused. Filled.

Bucky is so focused on the stew in front of him, steaming on the stovetop, as he ladles it into an appropriate bowl for serving that he doesn’t hear Natasha unlock the apartment door. The first thing he hears from her is a pleased moan.

“What is that smell?” She asks, her husky voice bright.

“I think you know what it is,” Bucky chirps back, charming.

“Mm-hm,” she hums. Bucky hopes he isn’t projecting when he thinks that she sounds delighted.

But, before he can get anything else out of her, he hears her gasp. He’s about to round the corner and check on her, make sure nothing is wrong after her mission, when -

“Oh, маленький поросенок,” she purrs, “this is why you’ve grown so plump, isn’t it?”

Bucky shivers, setting down both the ladle and the bowl, quickly stalking toward the dining table. Little piglet. God. Did he hear her correctly? Did - is… is that what she really just called Steve?

Little piglet.

The meaning of the words themselves, along with the sound of smooth, purred Russian in Natasha’s voice, leaves Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest.

This was part of the plan, too. Making Steve irrestiable, putting him on display, was part of the plan. He just didn’t -

He didn’t expect it to affect him so much.

He wanted it for Tasha.

Just for her, he left Steve at the dining table, sitting back in one of the heavy wooden chairs with his big belly wedged between the armrests as a gift. Huffing and puffing, stuffed as he already is. His hands resting on either round, bowed-out side of his tummy, rubbing himself lazily. He’s in a tight white t-shirt that’s been pushed up by his swollen middle, exposing a delicious, pale slice of his lower belly that’s been marked by hot, pink stretch marks. Even the serum can’t keep up with the ravenous appetite inside of Steve. The elastic of his grey sweatpants has been stretched to its limits and crushed under his gut. If his heavy belly is lifted up, jostled enough to make him moan, it becomes obvious just how low his sweats are on his hips because the top of his neatly trimmed, blond pubic hair is right there.

Sweet.

He looks delicious.

He looks like one of the Russian pastries Bucky has prepared. Golden and puffy. Hell, he might look more like the dough for the pastry before it’s baked - he’s certainly doughy and soft and he’s expanding out of his clothes like he’s expanding, growing from too much yeast.

Natasha is standing next to him now, her mouth open, staring at him, trying to figure out where to begin. A cat with a mouse, all hers to play with.

The moment she touches him, Steve arches his back, pushing into her touch. Hungry for even that.

Gluttonous.

He’s so gluttonous.

More. More. More.

More of everything. Anything.

“You gonna sit down, doll?”

Natasha shuts her full lips with a click but nods, almost shy with how her eyes flick toward him, then away. Demure in a way that she never is. Normally, if she wants something. She’s going to get it.

This is a different side of her, and Bucky already likes it.

Bucky pulls out a chair for her, the one directly across the table from Steve. She sits, and he pushes her in. He leaves quite a bit of space between her and the table, hoping her gluttonous side will appear and flourish, too. He wants to see her belly grow until it touches the edge of the table.

Christ.

He wants her to eat until she can’t have another bite.

Maybe she’ll let him feed her like Steve lets him.

Maybe she’ll grow as round and fat as Steve has.

He enjoys having one little piglet as a lover, so what could be better than two?

Fuck.

More than excited, Bucky sits himself at the head of the table after bringing the first course. He serves Steve just as much as he serves Natasha, unable to not feed him when he looks so sweet. Even if the plan had been to stuff Steve beforehand so he would be sated (and also to allow him to sit for long enough that he’d be ready to play by the time Natasha was done eating).

Steve is...

He's perfect. Irresistible. Blue eyes dazed, eyelids heavy, cheeks red with heat, head hanging low enough to give him a full double chin. A preview of what’s to come if he keeps blowing up like a balloon. It’s delicious.

Tasha eats everything that Bucky serves her. Everything. Practically licking each plate or bowl clean. She praises his dedication, obviously noticing the care and preparation of the presentation but also tasting the care and prep. These are not flavors that are easy to attain. It’s not perfect. But Natasha is glad it isn’t perfect. That means they can do this again. And again and again and again. Until they have it perfect. Then. Even after that, they should do it. This is good.

Natasha is enjoying herself because, perfect or not, it does settle her. She feels like she could close her eyes and be in one of the rare moments of her childhood where she felt safe and comforted. Better than that, too. With her eyes open, she’s here with her lovers. Her маленький поросенок [little piglet] and her… her кормушка.

Кормушка.

That feels right.

Her feeder.

That’s what Bucky is doing, feeding her, stuffing her, giving her everything she wanted and beyond. More than she could’ve imagined.

The fuller Tasha gets, the farther they get through the courses, the more settled she feels.

It’s hard, she realizes, to allow her abs to let go and expand with the bulk of the food she’s putting down, but, when they make it to the third type of stew, Bucky pauses to rub her belly over her tightening blouse and she moans and breathes heavy and let's go.

She unrounds.

She didn’t realize she was sucking in every moment of every day. Exhaustive. Letting go makes her toes curl. She watches Steve across the table and does as he does, mirroring him, squirming.

“Oh, Джеймс,” Natasha moans his name in Russian, James. Moving side to side, squirming, she can feel the food sloshing inside her. It’s so akin to the feeling of being fucked that it’s shocking. Full. Every sweet spot inside her hit. No wonder Steve loves this enough to have plumped up so deliciously, so rapidly.

She must be making a wet spot on her chair. The heat between her legs is so intense. She would love to squeeze her legs together and feel the throb of her pussy, stimulating herself, but she’s afraid she can’t move her legs. They’ve fallen apart. Spread. Making room for her belly to grow between.

Grow and grow and grow.

Until it’s inhibited by the size of her shirt and the band of her pants, belted tightly to her skin. Her blouse is too tight. The belt is cutting her in half. Without the belt, she’s sure her pants would be giving her trouble anyway. Together, it’s all agony. And these pathetic sounds she only makes when her lovers spend their day working her up and up and up, not letting her come until the sun has begun to set and all she can do is weakly clutch at them, crying, sobbing, and whimpering for her release. Begging to have it. And making a massive mess when she does, squirting hard enough the first time she was convinced she pissed herself. Just. Drenched. Broken like a dry branch snapping.

Crack.

How does she feel like she’s there already?

Steve is watching her from across the table with this obscene, blatant, animal desire etched into his pretty face. She’s not sure she’s ever seen him look so dumb and dominant at once. Like he wants to take her, to devour her, but he doesn’t know how.

Not a thought in his head.

She doesn't blame Steve, though. It is exquisitely difficult to think when so stuffed. She's full up to her eyebrows, and every swallow is forcing her brain out of her head. No thoughts.

Bucky reflects the look on Steve’s face, just, without so much of the stupid. He’s clearly awed, but he knows exactly what he wants.

What he wants to do to her.

What he wants from her.

Pop.

Before she can even realize what’s happened, Natasha is moaning, gruff and loud, and breathless all at once. She has a mouthful of food that she’s having a hard time swallowing, and her body doesn’t want more food. Her mind wants more food. She needs. More. Just a little more. Please? This feast has to end at some point, doesn’t it? So she might as well take all she can get while she can get it, right?

What happened? She turns her head towards Bucky, feeling entirely shit-faced drunk in a way that she… she hasn’t maybe ever felt.

Tasha swallows her mouthful of food, moaning as it slides into her. Stuffing her more. Deep. And -

Pop. Pop.

“AH!” She moans again, twisting her head too fast when she hears an answering clink, clink.

Her eyes follow the sound and find Steve’s plate and her answer.

Two of the three buttons she’s just popped off of her blouse, each feeling like an orgasm in their own right, has landed on his plate.

Steve is staring at them. Chin doubled. Hungry and dumb with his mouth open.

Oh.

Natasha squirms as much as her overfull, clothes-breaking gut will allow for, crying out when she feels her bare skin come into contact with the edge of the table.

She's grown so huge.

Please, please, please.

She doesn’t know what she’s begging for, what her little, hurt, desperate sounds mean. She just knows she needs.

And the second Bucky pulls out her chair, rips her blouse open to allow her to fully expand, tears her belt out of the buckle, shreds her pants, and gets his head between her shaking thighs, she’s coming. Coming and coming and coming. It feels endless. Steve’s eyes are hot enough on her to feel like a physical touch that throws her over the edge that much more. The hot, wet press of Bucky’s mouth against her, her soaked tight core, is too much.

“Oh, oh, oh!” She can’t stop moaning as she orgasms, entirely swept up by the tide of pleasure and excess.

This is absolutely happening again. She's already -

Yeah.

She already knows.

Absolutely.

She gets off so hard on it, stuffed to glutted at their dining table, Steve in the same condition, that Tasha thinks she may never get off on anything else ever. She's been ruined. She already knows.

She's ruined, and this is going to ruin her figure. All she can think about is how decadent Steve feels, fat and soft and lush, and her own body being that? Oh, it blows her mind. Their bodies together, both fat and soft and lush and curvy and round, next to Bucky - all solid, hard muscle. Oh, fuck, that obliterates her mind.

😳

[greypetrel]

HI ARJA I’m so curious about your moby dick AU lol you always have the best AUs

HI ROWAN I'm glad you asked! :D It's gonna be a big ass rant, so it's under the cut. I'm very excited about this AU, it tackles some things I love and have first-hand experience of, so yeah, I'll be chatty about it ahahahah.

I've posted a chapter at random on AO3 and you can find some snippets in the whale au tag!

So, it's "Zoologist Aisling who thinks whales are the best thing after sliced bread saves Cullen, who happens to have survived a shipwreck caused by a whale". Shenanigans happen.

It was an idea of @shivunin (thank you again) and I'm currently trying to give it a little outline not to go totally at random. I am thinking about characters background, it's a non-magical AU and so stuff needs to be adapted. The title of the WIP is old, I realised after that... You know, it's a Moby Dick INSPIRED thing. The first idea was having Aisling as Melville and Cullen as Ishmael teaming up to write Moby Dick. Cullen has the sailing parts, Aisling filling in with conspiracy theories about whalers and spite over naturalists. And both of them inserting a gay relationship because I'm still a big part of the Bi!Cullen agenda, and that book is terribly gay.

I did realise later on that there's a limit to the horrors I'm willing to put characters through and write, and cannibalism is really NOT one. I also moved it to another period and to the 1900s because I already did research for another original project and I'm more familiar with it.

The title of the file will change when I'll have a better one for this AU.

For now I do have a background for Aisling, what she's in Nantucket to do, and I'm so happy to say @melisusthewee jumped on the bandwagon aboard with Quinn and Horatio, but I'm letting her introduce you to them in this. I'll just say that Aisling refers to Quinn as "Mr Arch-Nemesis".

She's in Nantucket for a research over sperm whales behaviour, restore her family's name (dad was a scholar too, but alas, he was caught being a member of the Fenian society and giving money to the Irish revolutionaries... She's the Royal Society's favourite person, yes) and hopefully put a brake on whale hunting (the 1900s saw the peak of killed whales, you can bet miss "I'd adopt a dragon if Bull didn't constantly prevent me to try and befriend one" won't be ok with it). Dorian and Josephine -whom I couldn't fathom being there with her, seriously I can't picture Dorian on a ship if not in first class, unless he was beaten unconscious before boarding and dragged on. Josie finances ships, sure... but being on board of one and working? A whole different thing. So, they're Aisling friends, but they stayed in London to get her fundings.

Cullen needs to find reason to get to the sea again, he was a harpooner and worked on ships all his life... After being the sole survivor, he needs to find his centre back and get on with it. The crazy whale fangirl may or may not help him on this.

And there was only one bed, of course. (have I already said that Moby Dick is VERY gay?) (I had a blast reading it, thank you so much @salsedinepicta for making me curious about it! <3 Also if you want to throw your characters in this GO ON.)

I thiiiink I may change names and design and also do something fully original. I'm particularly enthusiastic about it because it allows me to tackle stuff I experienced in my life (I did some sailing! Very little and purely recreational, but still) and to re-use some research I already did for another original project which I love dearly, but it's definitely more than I can chew on my own. If I don't chicken out because the place is linked to some trauma, I maaaaay add a part in the seaside town I spent a lot of time growing up.

But again, let's see how it goes, researching on Italy isn't the easiest thing ever if you're not aiming at Rome or the Renaissance, and we're talking about a pretty regional side of Italy. I have good hopes because the people are very very very much into their own history and claiming it back, so I may find some good infos without spitting too much blood.

it's a work in progress, but there's gonna be more about this!

[usaigi]

💕🏳️‍🌈 For the media hyperfixation asks!

YES THIS IS THE ONE I WANTED ILY TY

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Mateo Murdock 🥺 He's cute, angsty, funny, a hot mess, witty, mommy and daddy issues and has the mental illness sparkle ✨ Something about a character so filled with rage and hurt and so dedicated to help others. Mhm martyrs.. He and Loki were my first MCU blorbos and while I still like Loki, he's lost his blorbo status in my heart. He's my number one.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? (I got this one twice so I'm going to split up my response, here's the other half)

Heroes for Hire + contractors MK and Layla & Kingpin Felicia Hardy

Colleen - Her mom is Okinawan w/ connection to K'un-Lun/the mystical cities/Seven Capital Cities of Heaven and dad is born and raised in Hawaii with chinese, filipino, korean, japanese, white, hawaiian ancestry. Colleen being Okinawan and growing up in Hawaii exposed her to how indigenous people are treated like second class citizens on their own land and how outsiders/colonizers exploit the land and its resources and that why she's so protective of the K'un-Lun/mystical cities. Also she's a lesbian for Misty

Danny - Half white, half chinese. Some family and business partners and other rich people from Rand's side thought Danny's mom was a foreign gold digger but her family is China Rich™ British boarding school, met Wendell at fancy Ivy League etc. and still not "like them" So when Danny was born, he got exposed to a lot of racism and specifically Sinophobia/anti-Chinese comments all through childhood

And ADHD King 🏃 undiagnosed though, all his sifus thought he just liked to jump.

Claire - Afro-Latina (canon) Did I make this up or does Claire talk about experiencing a lot of anti-blackness growing up? Anyways, if that's canon, cool!(not that anti-blackness in the latine community is cool but for Netflix to acknowledge that's something afro-Latinos often experience) If not, it's canon now.

Matt - Mexican Matt etc etc. i know u know this by now but also trans masc Matt who thought he used to be a lesbian and is now a straight cis passing white passing guy despite being disabled poc and queer and the identity and religious meltdown he must have had when he went to college. Also I changed my mind, I do like BPD Matt

Jessica - wonder bread white but she's like self aware about it. She brings a store bought cake to the office potluck. She keeps her mouth closed when the others wash their chicken in the sink. PTSD is canon but I also think she has DPDR. Also Bi.

send me a ask about my media hyperfixation

[thessalian]

Thess vs A Return to Normalcy

Updates from the workplace, and the news is ... for once, not terrible.

See, turns out that Scruffman came in on Sunday, along with the other part-timer (who has been petitioning for more hours and I think she's going to get them at this rate), and really registered the massive dent I made in the backlog. Because seriously, that whole week we went from just under 300 to just under 150 and that was about 95% me. So we're finally back down to the low-mid double digits in terms of the size of the typing queue, and I have a feeling Scruffman had a general sense of, "Ooh. [Thess] did a lot. [Thess] should not have been doing that much, I know that."

Scruffman does not have the best communication skills, mind - especially not over email. He sent an email going, "Give me a bell ASAP" and actually included his number, which I have had stored on my phone for literally years, so I thought there was going to be something urgent and horrible. Because, you may recall, he was going to touch base with me today about potentially having to drag my poor fibro-riddled carcass over to fucking Hampstead owing to lack of bums in seats. I was concerned that this was going to be a call where Issues were brought up.

However, no, this was his way of saying, "I has a concern and want to make sure you're okay after the hours you put in last week". I didn't pull punches, either. He asked how I was doing, which is how he starts all telephone conversations, really, and I just told him, "I seriously overdid it last week". I could hear the gears turning as he was going, "Oh. Yeah. Oh, right" before moving on to the whole thing about the various unexpected absences.

So ... turns out that Violet, Goblin, and Temp are all out at the moment, though Goblin and Temp are apparently coming back on Friday. He's got Other Part-Timer coming in tomorrow, so it's really only Thursday where there might be a requirement for me to come in. But apparently that's only if Scruffman himself takes ill or something else goes entirely to hell. It was pretty clear that he was trying desperately hard not to make me go into the office, particularly after the couple of weeks I've already put in. He also recognised that I do more typing when I'm at home than I do at the office, and then surprised me further by going, "I don't necessarily mean overtime or anything!" like he very much doesn't want me to have to do any more of that either.

So the overall gist is, "Things are back to normal, we will try to manage things without forcing you on to public transport, thank you for all the help and we promise we're not going to make you do too much more of that!" I'm not sure what happens with my overtime - whether it's Time Off In Lieu or actual money, but I think I'll find that out when Head Honcho comes back from his own holidays ... or rather, when I come back from mine because he's away until next week and I'm off next week.

I very much need to be off next week. I haven't fully recovered yet. But at the very least my house is full of nice foods to have that don't require too much in the way of cookery. I did up a pork roast last night so I have leftovers from that. There's a roast chicken that's good in the fridge until Friday, which gives me time to do things with the leftover pork roast and with the duck legs and pork chops I got on sale with this month's grocery shop. But tonight, since I am exhausted (whoever was typing with me today also left me with the longer bullshit - thankfully there were no ten-minute atrocities but if I see one more placenta report this week I'm going to lose my damn mind), it will be leftover roast pork with mashed potato and an asparagus/tenderstem broccoli medley, with an appetiser of gluten-free mozzarella sticks (which, yes, still have the lactose issue but I have Lactaid so I can still have my breaded hot cheese) and possibly a salad. I did actually eat today! Okay, not lunch, but two pieces of gingerbread as breakfast went really well with my morning coffee.

[diabloindigo]

How are you doing today?

Little tired and sore from surgery last week. I’m also numb in the chest area in the ribs. 

What day of the week is it?

Wednesday. 

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore?

There’s good in everyone. 

What do you admire most in a person?

Honesty and not playing mind games and strength (emotional). 

What’s your favorite dinosaur?

Velociraptor, triceratops, apatosaurus. 

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as?

With all the grief I've been through, sometimes I think I was a tyrannical asshole in a previous life. 

I would like to be reincarnated as a house cat or a ferret. 

What are 3 scents that you like?

Sandalwood. Pine. That strange cleanser smell in airports and hotels when i travel. Yeah, I’m weird. 

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321?

No, I think of pleasant things. 

What’s the silliest thing you’ve gotten injured from?

My right arm fake falling. It was sore for two months. And I had to muscle through some stiffness when I went swimming. 

What’s the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

Meat and sweet. I marinade ribeyes in Italian, ranch dressings and add honey. I dip chicken tenders and barbecue chicken in honey 

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence?

I’d move into an apartment. 

Do you play any instruments?

No. I bought a Hohner harmonica with the intention of trying to learn how to play over the summer while convalescing 

What is an unpopular opinion you have?

Star Wars and Game of Thrones are overrated. 

Have you ever done a crazy dare?

Yeah, and I want to say nudity was involved....

What’s your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute?

Muenster, sharp cheddar, colby, tilsit, or anything ripe-smelling from the shelves at those boutique grocery shops. 

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood?

Summer. Eating sticky red or blues no-cones in the evening. That chlorine smell from after a swim at the public pool. Cartoons. 

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee?

Coffee. 

What’s the oddest text you’ve received recently?

When I had my “burner” phone, I received a text from some random woman asking me if I liked her blue glasses frames. (I said yes.) 

What’s something you believe everyone should have?

Stability. 

What’s the first thing you do once you get home from a trip?

Pee. Or get something to eat before attempting to unpack my things. 

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you’ve made?

My dog stole a steak from the mini grill. 

Do you know how your parents met?

In high school

Do you believe love is blind?

Yeah

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit?

Some sort of cinema style heist where I concoct an elaborate scheme with a motley crew to infiltrate an event and end up stealing cheese or a golden octopus statue with nobody the wiser. 

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve?

Southern cooking. Fried chicken, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, chess pie, chicken fried steak, okra.  

Have you ever met a president?

No 

What food tastes better than its appearance to you?

Oatmeal. Frito Pie. Tapioca pudding. 

Do you actively post on social media?

Instagram. I still do FB only because 80% of my friends and family still use that hell site. 

What was your favorite childhood book?

The Mysterious Tadpole by Steven Kellogg. A kid is gifted a loch ness monster thinking he’s getting a tadpole. He raises his monster and ends up building a swimming pool next to his apartment so he can house his pet. 

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts?

----------------

What do you consider to be the smartest animal?

Dolphins 

What movies make you laugh the most?

Raunchy comedies 

What’s a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of?

Vitamin supplements. Soap. Deodorant. Gain laundry pods. 

What’s the best name you’ve heard a pet named?

I like it when people name pets after animals. I briefly had a gray-and-white cat named Goose. 

What always makes your day better?

Doing something random and fun. 

“Let’s try this Indian restaurant.” 

“You wanna see this movie? I can get tickets in there mins.” 

“There’s a Bahama Bucks. Want to stop for a snow cone?” 

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion?

1 true passion and 2 hobbies 

Coffee or tea?

Tea.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones?

I watch medical mysteries on Youtube. A grandma eats a pound of chocolate and this is how she has a stroke. 

Would you say you’re good at saving money?

I’ve slipped since I had surgery a few years back. After spending a lot on medical bills, I figured, “well, I spent $XXXX on surgery and medical supplies, so a $15 Disney pin or a restaurant meal isn’t going to make much difference in saving money.” 

I still have a robust savings account. It just hasn't gotten where I want it due to 2 surgeries in the past 2 years. And I worked OT to pad my paycheck before my recent operation. 

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster?

Once but it was a crappy rollercoaster 

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials?

Massages

When was the last time you’ve had an adrenaline rush?

Paddle boating in white water rapids. 

Have you ever used a whole chapstick?

No

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift?

Yes, there’s that one friend who gives me lollipops shaped like genitalia. 

[derangedpepper]

ok for the silly mans birthday im finally gonna make a headcanons post for him,,,,, hhhhh love you nagito /p -he/they/it, although ill probably use he/him mostly -gay demiboy (idk he just,,, always felt kinda distant from himself so his genders not like 100%,,,, idk how to describe it but basically he just is a demiboy,as.f,dds) -rlly likes oversized clothing,,,, him when big jacket,,,,,,, -obsessed over his hair when he was rlly young,,, like he would go insane if a single hair was out of place,,, but now he just doesnt care and will sometimes go weeks w/ brushing his hair until hajimes like nagito wtf please brush your hair -LOVES rats,,,, he finds them adorable and honestly thinks they get way too much hate,,, he probably has like 2 rats,,,,, -but he still loves dogs he just honestly is rlly scared of owning one??? idk how to say it but hes worried what happened to his childhood dog will happen to any new dogs he gets,,,,,, -he id rlly scared his luck will hurt his rats so much so he wasnt even the person that got them in the first place,,,, hajime got them for him and then he was like: "why??? what if something bad happens to them???? what if my luck goes wee??????" and hajime was like: "shut the fuck up" -he actually doesnt like bagels in particular he just likes bread in general,,,, -nagito when he was eating a bagel and his rat went: "mine" -okay im still on his rats but he has two girl rats (there no weird reason svjahmsbm) one named hope and the other faith,,,,, ill let you guess why,,,,, hhhhh,,,,, -anyways hope is a white rat w/ black spots and faith is albino,,,, the two are lil stinkers w/ eachother but actually kinda nice around nagito,,,,,, they hate hajime for some reason tho,,,, -nagito gets rlly overwhelmed rlly easily,,,, hhhhh :projects: -anyways i feel like nagito rlly hates sugary foods (i mean candies n stuff not pastries) and most kinds of meat (he rlly only likes chicken,,,,,) but he will eat smth if its given to him bc he feels like he has to -extremely touch starved and literally melts at the slightest touch -although at the same time if its someone hes not rlly close to he hates being touched (unless he initiates contact),,,, like even if youre one of his friends unless youre like extremely close he will hate being touched,,,,, yes im projecting again,,,,,, yes i kin nagito,,,,,, -he rlly likes gardening and has a whole garden of all sorts of flowers and due to his luck hes actually kinda good at it,,,,, he has flowers based off his friends (a rlly pink one named kaz, a spiky one named hinata, etc etc) -his bed is literally just stuffed animals nothing else thats why he sleeps in hajimes bed -lieks the taste of that fake grass you sometimes get in easter baskets,,,, idk if anyone else got it but it was so weird but i feel like he would like it just bc -hes the kinda person that puts the bowl before the cereal and milk,,,, yes he will say that if someone asks he does say bowl -unironically likes coconut mall -rlly rlly likes clovers,,, he finds them to be pretty plus the whole luck theme,,,,, -doesnt have a definite favorite color but just says green cause its easier and its not rlly wrong

[nimmee]

I have been having Nanamin brain rot for last few days. Okay I couldn't stop all these ideas are absolutely overwhelming me so here we go with part 3 of Nanamin Kento headcanons

Continued from part 2

25. His mother and his maternal grandfather taught him to cook. Let's talk Bread making, baking and all things sweet, he has been making bread since he was 10. His mom owned a pastry shop because she loved baking and he helped around as he grew up. Also he took up cooking classes in high school (that being jujustsu tech, they do provide with more normal forms of education because well, they do train kids for jujustsu sorcery but kids need real life skills too. ), for two reasons he loved cooking and to distract himself from the terrible stress and grief of losing Yu and then Geto.

26. Geto scouted both Yu and Nanamin, even though Geto was too young, yet sometimes Geto, Gojo, Shoko or Utahime would go with principal Yaga to scout kids. Although Geto turned all Conservative after his identity crisis he still absolutely believed in protecting and training sorcerer kids to control their negetive emotions especially those who come from non sorcerer families. The reason being most of those kids would have been labelled schizophrenic or druggies by general public if they weren't properly trained or informed about their shaman powers. Also explains why he lost it when he saw those two little girls abused to the point of death. Geto always liked Nanamin as a junior. He had a soft corner in his heart for Nanamin. (would write more about Geto's pov when I write his head canons)

27. Nanami catches cold easily. And list of his sick food is pretty short. His sick food list includes chicken stew with butter rice with some crushed black pepper. Congi. Tomatoe soup and toast. Cauliflower soup with some macaroni and cheese in it (not in obnoxious amount just the right amount) . Chicken noodle soup. (just imagine : Nanamin wrapped in a fluffy blanket sitting under a kotatsu with a bowl of chicken noodle soup on the table while his comfort movie plays. His hair tousled. Him in his comfiest pjs. *sighs in Cuteness * this man needs a warm hug)

28. He can forge his own knives. His paternal grandfather forged all kinds of knives, from katanas to wood carving knives. He taught a teenage Kento to forge knives. Later he learnt to imbue cursed energy into his knives when he came to jujustsu tech. The blade he uses is handmade by him.

29. The tie he wears was handmade by his maternal grandmother. She was a very skilled seamstress. She had made him two leopard print ties, a small one because he was 7 years old, and a adult sized tie if he wanted to wear it later. Why leopard print you ask, Nanamin loved leopards as a child, that's why.

30. Kento is a man of many interests. Some interests have already been disclosed but this one might seem over the top cliche. He has a knack for photography. It makes sense because photography deals a lot with ratio and given his cursed technique he naturally understands prepectives and angles. Gojo being Gojo, exploits this quality of Nanamin to its fullest, even annoyed Nanamin complies. Half of the Instagram post on Gojo's account are taken by Nanamin. Also his knack for architecture came in handy too. Also...Bonsai ? Yes he loves the idea but hasn't yet come around to practice it.

Bonus : 31. Kento doesn't have a type when it comes to dating. He believes it's pretty spontaneous and doesn't always has to have a set in stone rules to fall in love. As long as they can work together and are compatible he's absolutely satisfied.