#Yes he still make his own bread and has chicken

[achillesuwu]

Post-return arthur that is so bored that he tries to make some food but he falls miserably because 99% of merlin house work with magic.

Electricity? Gas? Plumbing? Merlin never heard of her. The only non-magical technology in his house is an "cat" (*cough*dragon) toy that his new baby dragon wanted. That's it.

Arthur that got locked outside because the house was cross with him.

Arthur that tried once (1) to go into merlin office and— (Arthur : *glare*we don't talk about it) hem, never went alone in it ever again (hegotbluehairandturnedintoafrog.simultaneously)

Merlin house being strange enough to keep arthur entertained (by frustration) but also familiar enough in its lack of technology to not overwhelmed Arthur

[demonic0angel]

Random idea of Jazz and Jason living on a farm in the country together. Caring for the animals, making their own food, domestic sunsets on the porch.

(*starts tap dancing in joy* this got very long lmaooo)

Jason stared into the horizon, as the sun began to set, casting the world into golden yellow and fire red hues. He was still standing, just holding his scythe in one hand as he heard the rustle of wheat behind him.

Jazz stood next to him, watching the sky alongside him before she turned and leaned against his shoulder. "You shouldn't stare into the sun."

Jason hummed. He wrapped an arm around her and finally peeled his eyes away from the approaching nightfall. He kissed her forehead and said, "I know. Shall we go inside?"

She nodded and they walked together back to their home, a little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. A barn and a mill were also nearby, providing them with more food. They were surrounded by fields on two sides, a large stretch of forest on the other, and a river weaving in between. Shadow was waiting for them at the door, their tail wagging as it watched them approach.

Jason closed the door when they were all inside, locking the several chains and deadbolt locks. Jazz closed all of their windows and blinds. Shadow disappeared in and out of their namesake, hopping in every dark corner of their home before coming back, confirming that it was safe and locked tight.

When they were done, Jazz pushed him to his seat and began dishing out food. He smiled at the sight of her bringing out the pheasant he had hunted on a plate, before she brought bowls of soup and bread over.

"Has anything happened while I was taking care of the fields?" He asked.

Jazz paused and then nodded. "Yes. I saw a straggler, so I killed them before anything could happen. They were in the woods, and I think they were alone, but I can't guarantee it."

Jason's heart sped up a beat at the thought of Jazz being alone while a straggler had been far too close to them, before he took a deep breath and calmed down.

"Alright. If that's true, we should comb through the woods one more time to make sure it's clean. I don't want anything to ambush us."

Jazz nodded. He reached over to brush her hair from her face and lay a kiss on her forehead. She smiled and he relaxed at the happiness on her face before they both went back to eating.

"What about you?" She asked. "How's the fields? And livestock?"

"Our chickens are doing well," he said thoughtfully. He looked down at his food and praised, "You've outdone yourself again, princess. This tastes amazing."

Jazz beamed again. Jason continued, "I think we have enough food to last us awhile. I'm not sure what winter is going to look like, but when we investigate the woods, we can look into the nearby towns and see if there's anything left to salvage."

Jazz nodded. Then she began slowly, "By the way... about Alfred..."

Jason paused, eyes wide. He looked at her and her expression was worried. "What about him? Did he get out? Did he do something to you?"

Jazz looked at her soup, mostly watery with carrots and potatoes and the barest amounts of herbs. "... he spoke to me today. He called me Miss Gordon."

Jason couldn't help his intake of breath and the hand reaching out to cover his mouth. "What?! But— But isn't he supposed to be..?!"

She nodded quickly. "That's what I thought too. But I think, he's either starting to remember things and might've recognized my hair or... or he's learning to imitate human speech." She winced from her words, but Jason didn't really notice.

He was thinking of the possibilities.

Ever since that faithful day, it had only been him, Jazz, and Shadow all on their own. Shadow had helped them both get away from the chaos and deaths, but they were pretty much isolated. All they knew was that the entire world had gone to shit and no one could reach them.

He had no idea if his family or friends were okay. Not even Jazz could reach out to her own family. She had no idea what was happening, and all they had was each other.

Things hadn't really changed even when Alfred had stumbled onto the slice of paradise and peace Jason had carved out for himself and Jazz. They had to lock him in the basement, but since there was nothing they could do about his condition, this was their only way of handling it without killing him for good.

Jason focused back on Jazz, who was nearly wilting from some misplaced sense of guilt. He reached out again to hold her hand, squeezing as he said, "I don't blame you for anything, Jazz. No matter what he says... protect yourself first, okay? Your safety matters most to me. I think for now, let's just continue observing him."

She nodded. Jason turned to Shadow and asked, "Hey, could you keep an eye on Alfred for me? If he does anything or gets out, wake us up."

The ancient looked up and nodded, and that was settled. Dinner continued in quiet chatter as the tension eased, and eventually they prepared for bed.

Jason had never expected to live such a strange life of domesticity.

As night fell and Jazz slept in his arms with her long limbs wrapped around him like an octopus, Jason could not help but marvel at the situation, in a house with the woman he loved, peaceful and without any heroics, with his grandfather in the house somewhere too (although Alfred was not really the same.)

Even if the world was ending, with the people he loved most around him, Jason did not feel worried.

His eyes began to droop.

Soon, he too fell asleep. As the world around them continued to move, Jason felt secure in his bed with Jazz in his arms and Shadow curled up by their feet.

The earth would continue spinning.

[ghostfaceprincess]

Them Cooking For You For The First Time:

-

TW: Language.

-

Michael Myers:

• I mean… he really did try.

• Surprisingly decent, it’s just a little burnt.

• He decided on steak and mashed potatoes.

• Hey, he’s proud of himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

-

Freddy Krueger:

• Used his glove to cut up everything; and I do mean everything. The meat, the veggies, etc.

• He decided on chicken pasta with salad as a side.

• The pasta is cooked perfectly.

• He pairs it with a nice wine. 10/10.

-

Jason Voorhees:

• He… tried.

• It’s supposed to be spaghetti…

• Hey, the garlic bread is good though!

• Maybe you should do all the cooking and he’ll do the dishes.

-

Billy Loomis:

• He surprised you! The food is so good!

• He made chicken with mac and cheese, corn bread, and green beans.

• He did not make dessert though.

• He was hoping you could be dessert. 😏

-

Stu Macher:

• THIS MAN CAN COOK IDC WHAT ANYBODY HAS TO SAY

• A full meal plus dessert.

• Everything is cooked and seasoned perfectly.

• Yes, you heard me, s e a s o n e d.

-

Charles Lee Ray:

• He gave up before he even started.

• He ordered Chinese takeout and then plated it.

• He also paired it with beer.

• He didn’t think about dessert.

-

Tiffany Valentine:

• Oh, she went all out!

• She made you like four different meals and desserts to go with them.

• “I just wanted you to have options.” What a cutie!

• “The rest can just be meal prep!”

-

Bubba Sawyer:

• He made you the beeeeeest fucking soup you’ve ever had. Well, it’s more like a gumbo, but still.

• He made dessert as well; just classic chocolate chip cookies.

• He did ask his brothers for help.

• He smiles proudly as he presents it to you.

-

Thomas Hewitt:

• Did everything all on his own.

• Made ribs with fries.

• Literal 10/10.

• He knows how to add some flavor!

-

Art the Clown:

• Cook?

• Yeah, no. He gets take out and does not try to take credit for it.

• He does plate it very nicely though.

• Pats your head as he hands you your plate.

-

The Creeper:

• He let you pick what he made.

• And he did it perfectly too!

• There’s so much seasoning and flavor.

• Though, he can’t perfect all meals. Just this one and a few others.

-

Thanks for reading! 🦇🖤

[annaphoenix1994]

Price and Evie

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

After Soap had given his information to the saleswoman about the ring, he avoided his embarrassment by offering to pay for lunch. Choosing a local cafe, they were seated at a booth next to a window in the corner of the restaurant, Simon keeping Kiera on the inside of the booth so that he could keep an eye on the point of entry just in case he needed to offer protection. "I'll be right back, L.T. I'm going to go find a restroom." 

"Alright." 

"If the waitress comes back and asks for drinks, just get me a water." 

Simon nodded, watching Soap leave before he turned to Kiera, "I'm going to help him out with the ring." 

She grinned, "And to think you've always despised him."

"Some of the shite he does drives me up a wall," He chuckled. "But I want the best for him and Teeter makes him happy. The least I can do is help him out." 

"I think that's a good idea, babe," She encouraged. "He's been talking about proposing for a long time." 

"Trust me, it's been the topic of our conversations for months." He scoffed. 

"Has he told you how he was going to do it?" 

"He said something about taking her on a trail ride to somewhere she said she loved to see. Some overlook. He said he wanted to take all of us on this ride so that we'll all see it and that she wouldn't suspect anything, and he wants either me or you to pretend to take their picture but really be filming the entire time to catch the proposal on video." 

"That's so cute!" 

"He'll probably chicken out," He chuckled. "I thought I was going to when I proposed." 

"You seemed like you had it all under control." She hummed. 

"Trust me, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest." 

"Well, I can say that you definitely pulled it off." 

"That was the goal, love." 

"Hello! My name is Nancy and I'll be your server this afternoon. What can I get you two to drink?" The waitress smiled, blonde hair framing her face as she clutched her notepad. 

"She'll have a Dr. Pepper, and I'll have a water," Simon answered. "Oh, I'll need another water, too." 

"Okie dokie. Do you need a few more minutes to look over the menu?" 

"Yes, please." 

"Okay, I'll go get those drinks and be right back with some bread for you. Any lemon for the water?" 

"No thanks." 

She nodded before turning on her heel to retrieve her customer's request, Soap returning before she could return. 

"Thought we lost ya." Simon poked.

"Yeah, I was beginning to think that you fell in." Kiera giggled. 

"Holy hell," Soap chuckled, shaking his head. "Had to drop a bomb if you know what I mean." 

"Fuckin' hell, Soap. We're about to eat." 

"What? It's not like you two have a weak stomach." 

"We might." 

"I doubt that. With all the shite we've seen, hearing about me dropping a deuce should be the least of your worries." 

Kiera felt Simon's leg bouncing up and down impatiently under the table, knowing that he felt empty without the presence of their children to accompany them. He knew that it wasn't such a bad thing to take a brief break from constantly tending to his children knowing that they were in good hands, but in a way, he felt guilty and selfish - he felt like he had pawned them off just so he and Kiera could spend time together. The more he thought about it, the more he worried about their honeymoon, wanting to make it special for Kiera, but knowing he'd be unable to worry about being too far away from their children possibly more than how Kiera would. 

Once their food came, Soap wasted no time in digging in while Simon barely touched his food, still not used to eating as much at a certain time of day due to his former military agenda. Kiera didn't eat as much either as her appetite wasn't as big as it used to be, resorting to just a simple chicken sandwich and fries, sitting back in the booth after finishing the sandwich, blushing at the sensation of Simon's palm cupping her knee, craving her warmth to soothe his own anxiety. 

Simon's eyes darted towards the sound of a baby crying, immediately hoping that either of his children haven't cried since they had left them with Kiera's parents before his attention turned to Kiera after hearing her gasp. "What's wrong, love?" 

He watched her complexion change to embarrassment, clutching her jacket over her chest as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Let's just say my body is reacting to hearing a baby crying..." 

He furrowed his brows at her explanation, following her hand as she moved her jacket to show him the damp area of her shirt. 

"What happened?" 

"It's a letdown reflex." She sighed, embarrassed. 

"What's that? Do we need to leave?" His tone was low and concerned, never hearing about a letdown reflex before, but slowly putting the pieces together that Kiera had begun to leak her own breastmilk at the sound of another baby crying. 

"Soon, but I'll have to pump as soon as we get home." She replied, leaning closer to him to whisper her response into his ear. 

"What happened, K?" Soap asked, his eyes on his phone screen as he had been checking in on Teeter, texting her to let her know - more like ask - if they'd like to play Big Chief later.

"I-It's nothing," She replied. "Just... New mom things." 

"Oh, okay."

She kept her jacket clutched over her chest as she zipped it closed, resting her elbow on the table out of embarrassment, her face flushing as Simon had put his hand on her knee, rubbing small and reassuring circles against the fabric of her pants with his thumb. 

»»-------¤-------««

Kiera couldn't help but giggle as she noticed Simon's impatient driving on the way back to the ranch. He was desperate to get home to his babies. Kiera was, too, except she felt she was able to wrap her head around the fact that she was able to take a brief break while knowing her babies were in safe hands while they were away. The drive was nearly silent once Simon had turned the truck onto the road that led to the driveway to the ranch. "I hope they've been on their best behavior for your mum." He sighed. 

"They're babies, L.T.," Soap snickered from the backseat of the truck, tucked between the two car seats. "They're either sleeping or eating from a bottle. I'm sure I could watch them with no issues." 

Simon scoffed, "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I trust you with our children." 

"Why?" 

"I don't want their first words to be shite or fuck, and I especially don't want my son to have a mohawk by the time he turns two." 

"You are stone cold, Simon." Soap chuckled, knowing that Simon was exactly right when it came to his children accidentally learning a curse word with their vulnerable and sponge-like brains. 

"Gladly." 

"Would you at least consider it, though?"

"No." He huffed. 

"Who's going to watch them when you and K go on your honeymoon?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He grumbled. 

"Is it bad that I haven't thought about planning our wedding yet?" She giggled. 

"Not bad at all, love. Take your time." 

"I love weddings," Soap said excitedly, leaning forward to where his face was too close for comfort. "Do you at least have colors in mind?" 

She sighed, "I was thinking about having our wedding in the fall. Where the colors are so pretty and it's not too hot outside. I was thinking about the colors being like a maroon or burgundy." 

"I like that, K."

"Me too. I'm leaning closer to burgundy because it's one of Simon's favorite colors." She admitted, glancing over at him to watch his face tighten with a grin at her admittance. 

"I figured it would be black," Soap scoffed playfully. "It's a shock to know that he likes another color besides black." 

"Just full of surprises, Johnny." He huffed. 

"I bet you have a red room in y'all's house." 

"A what? And y'all? Speak fuckin' English." 

"You know what a red room is, L.T.," He smirked. "Don't act like you don't know. And y'all means you all put together."

"Let me guess, you learned that from Teeter?" 

He breathed a laugh, "I've learned a lot from that lass. So much that I'm putting a ring on it so I can learn a lot more." 

"Fuckin' hell," Simon grumbled, rolling his eyes as Kiera began to giggle at their antics. "I regret even asking." 

"You still didn't answer my question." 

"What question?" 

"That you have a red room." 

"No, we don't." 

"Thought you didn't know what a red room was, L.T.?" He snickered.

Simon grumbled as he put the truck in park, removing the key from the ignition before getting out to walk around the front of the truck and opening the door for Kiera, offering his hand for her to take, her grip tightening as she sorely moved her weight onto her feet. "Alright, love?" 

"Yeah," She sighed. "I wish I wasn't so sore." 

"You're working on getting better. Those exercises have been helping." 

"They have. Although I do miss when you help me stretch." 

"I can fix that." He smirked. 

"Hey! You gonna open the door for me too, L.T.?" They heard Soap shout from the backseat. 

"You have two hands." 

"The door is locked!" 

"It's called a child lock, Johnny." Simon grumbled. 

"But I'm not a child!" 

"I beg to differ." 

The couple watched as Soap grumbled to himself, moving to where he pulled himself over the console and out through the passenger side, keeping his feet tucked to avoid scuffing the leather seats with his shoes as Simon stepped aside to open the rear door purposefully. 

"Really? You wait until I found my way out to open the door?" 

"Delayed timing." He shrugged, a smirk threatening to appear on his face, amused. 

Kiera shook her head at their bickering, rolling her eyes as Simon locked the truck, offering his arm for her to grab as he escorted her towards her parent's lodge with Soap splitting off to search for Teeter after seeing she had texted him back regarding his request:

»»-------¤-------««

Once Kiera and Simon entered the lodge, they were greeted by the warm smell of apple cider and a ham that was cooking in Eva's crockpot. Immediately, Simon's eyes scanned the interior of the lodge, searching for the precious beings Kiera had given him to obsess over. Eva smiled from the kitchen, wiping the flour from her hands onto her apron before approaching her daughter with a warm smile and open arms. "Dinner should be ready in a few hours," Eva smiled, kissing Kiera's cheek. "I'm making honey ham, mashed potatoes, macaroni for your continuous cravings, and some sugar cookies to accommodate Simon's sweet tooth." She explained excitedly as she walked past her to greet Simon, seeing the relief in his eyes now that he was able to see his children. 

"Sounds good, momma," Kiera smiled. "Where's our little ones?" 

"Jacob is down for a nap in your father's lap and Evie is being spoiled by Simon's Captain." 

Kiera felt Simon's shoulders tense out of jealousy instead of anger. "Where is he?" 

"He's in the living room with Bud."

Simon nodded, his fingers grazing the small of Kiera's back before he escorted himself into the living room, seeing Price smiling down at the infant in his arms, his free hand holding the pacifier comfortably in her mouth with his index finger at the base of the nipple, Price not yet sensing Simon's presence coming near, Simon hearing Price's soothing words that calmed his anxiousness about someone else tending to his children. 

In fact, he grew to appreciate it. 

"Look just like your father, little lass. You're going to break some hearts when you get older." He grinned down at her, admiring at the perfection in his arms, making him wish he had a child of his own. 

"She's forbidden to have a boyfriend." Simon commented as he took a seat in the empty chair across from the couch Price was sitting on, keeping his tone low as Bud was fast asleep with Jacob nestled between Bud's leg and the arm of the recliner, snug and secure as he slept - pacifier between his lips and Bud's index finger clasped in Jacob's little hand.

"I have a feeling that she's going to be a firecracker like her mum," Price chuckled, glancing towards Simon. "If that's the case, you're going to be running a muck, mate." 

He huffed, "I already have my hands full with Kiera. Last I need is to see her grow up and have boys begging her to take her on a date." He grimaced at the thought, dreading the day that Evie would come home to say she has a crush on a boy that possibly likes her back - going on her first date, going through her first heartbreak, her first post-relationship depression, losing her self-esteem - everything. He couldn't stand the thought, knowing it would hurt him just as much as it did to see Kiera go through her depression and tears. 

"You know it's going to happen, mate," Price chuckled. "But you have several years to prepare for it." 

"Thanks for the assurance." Simon scoffed, tapping the heel of his foot against the wood floor out of anxiousness and impatience. 

"It's what I'm here for," He chuckled, adjusting the blanket around Evie's little shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Simon."

The words caused his neck to straighten and goosebumps erect on his forearms. He's proud of me? "You are?" 

"Of course. I've known you for years as a man who only had one mission: to get things done. I never saw you as someone who would let someone else tear down those walls you've worked so hard to put up. But look at you now: a family man and significant other to someone dear to you. You managed to turn your whole life around." 

He nodded subtly, accepting the compliment from a person who had a major impact on his life as, aside from Kiera, Price had been the only other person to see Simon during his worst times, being there to be a listening ear for when Simon needed someone to talk to. "T-Thank you. I owe you and Kiera a lot for listening to my heartaches-"

"You don't owe us anything. Seeing you happy is enough for me, especially spending time with these little ones." He smiled, his heart swelling at the sensation of Evie's mouth clasping over his finger that held the pacifier securely in place, letting him know that she was either dreaming or growing hungry, a slight grumble leaving her little mouth. 

Simon's lips spread into a grin. 

He watched as Price turned his head to look over the back of the couch, watching Kiera help her mother in the kitchen as they playfully tossed flour at each other. "How is she doing?" He mouthed. 

"Still sore from the C-Section. Had a bit of postpartum depression and am afraid that she still does."

"Still having the night terrors?" 

"Rarely now, thankfully," He sighed, keeping his voice low to avoid waking her father who was sleeping in his recliner nearby, not wanting him to overhear and worry about his daughter. "She's more open about it now and I think it's been helping."

"Good. I've been keeping her in my thoughts. How are you doing?"

He sighed, "Barely had any nightmares. Can't remember when I had the last one. And honestly, I've slept better since the babies were born." 

"I think it's because you feel complete with yourself." 

"It's because I feel like I've found my purpose."

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Reiji ver.]

Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [レイジ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 8 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: Honestly, Reiji deserves so much more respect than what he gets. Not only does this man get up early to get chores done because his other five brothers won’t do jack-shit, he even goes out of his way to do extra groceries and make a first-class breakfast for his girl. I feel like most of the other Diaboys could barely even toast a piece of bread without burning it lol. 

*Cling cling*

You enter the kitchen.

“...Hm? What is the matter? It is still too early to be getting up.” 

You ask him why he is up already.

“Unlike the other people at this home, I happen to have an extensive to-do list, so I must get started with all of my chores early, or else I will regret it afterwards. ーー More importantly, you mentioned something about not being able to sleep? If you are feeling unwell, I can get you some medicine.”

You explain.

“Do not tell me...You cannot sleep because of the hunger? How unfortunate...I cannot believe your stomach is growling despite getting three proper meals a day. You should know better.”

You apologize. 

“Well, I shall forgive you this once. I suppose it is partially my responsibility as well for not looking after you better. ーー I suppose it cannot be helped. We still have time before we have to leave to school, so I shall make you an early breakfast.”

You seem excited. 

“Yes. If you have any requests, go ahead. As you should be aware, I am quite confident in my own cooking abilities. No matter how complex or luxurious of a dish, I will prepare it to perfection. Well then, what is your order?”

You make your request.

“What did you...say just now?”

You repeat it.

“You are asking me to make...tamagogake-gohan, out of all things? You crack a raw egg (1) over the rice, add some soy sauce and you’re done. You want me to go out of my way to make something so simple?”

You ask him if he won’t make it. 

“No, I never said that I will not make it. ...Very well! I shall show you what a real plate of eggs over rice looks like!”

*Thud*

“In which case, we must first gathered the necessary ingredients. There is no time to lose! I shall call the limousine at once. Off we go!”

You seem surprised.

“What are you doing!? Come on, make haste!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Clatter clatter*

*Rustle*

“It is truly a blessing that there are stores which are still open in the middle of the night.”

You offer to pay for the parking fee since he has his hands full with the groceries.

“That would be a big help. This is the money. Here you go.”

 You ask Reiji what is inside the bags in his arms. 

“Excuse me? Can you not tell? They’re bags of rice. There’s high-quality rice inside.”

You seem surprised.

“You came along not even realizing why we took the car? Haah...You truly need to do something about how slow-witted you are. One cannot cook without the right ingredients, so we shall we going around to gather all of the necessary things. ーー The very best ones available!

Tamagogake-gohan consists of a perfectly balanced combination of eggs, soy sauce and rice with each ingredient being brought to its full potential. We cannot afford skimping on any of them. ...I happen to be a regular at this store, you see. The rice sold at this store has been selected by a rice connoisseur of which only a few exist in this country, so it is of the highest quality!”

You tilt your head to the side.

“You do not even know what a ‘rice connoisseur’ is...? Take should be common knowledge. Make sure to do your research afterwards, understood? Anyway, we are headed for the chicken farm next. I know it is quite late, but I am sure I can arrange something by using my connections.”

You frown.

“Why the hesitation? We are talking about the eggs which are the main star of the dish! I will not make any compromises!”

*Rustle*

“No more dawdling! Let’s go!”

*TIMESKIP*

The two of you return home.

*Thud*

“...Haah. That ended up taking more time than I anticipated.”

You admit being glad that you’re finally done. 

“What nonsense are you spouting? We finally gathered all necessary ingredients! If we’re ‘done’, why did we get these fresh ingredients in the first place? But we must make haste, or else the others will wake up.”

*Rustle*

“To the kitchen at once! We shall start cooking!”

The two of you go to the kitchen.

“We shall start by cooking the rice. I believe that I can skip over the instructions for this one.”

Reiji gets the rice cooker started. 

*Beep*

“Next we must choose which bowl to serve it in.”

You ask if that is important.

“Why of course. A high class meal is not only defined by the food itself. One must choose a plate which will truly bring the dish to life.” 

*Cling cling*

“Let me think...Usually I would go for something a little more ‘art nouveau’, but how about we use this bowl today? I am glad I decided to purchase this one for moments like this.”

You note that it is quite plain.

“What are you saying? A plain bowl is a fine piece of silverware as well! Just look at the gloss and pattern, simply marvelous!”

You raise one brow.

“Why are you giving me that look? I do understand that I might sound rather out-of-character right now, but look at it like this. I even went out of my way to buy a home-style takoyaki grill to hold a takoyaki party at home, so I must keep the name of the Sakamaki household high. ...More importantly, we should finish setting the table before the rice is done cooking. Well then, please lend me a hand.”

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji opens the rice cooker.

“It turned out rather nicely. The rice looks shiny and has the right amount of fluffiness to it. As to be expected of a dish made with a product from a true rice connoisseur!”

You point out that his glasses have fogged up. 

“Do not worry about my glasses being fogged up. It is only natural for this to happen when exposed to hot steam.”

*Cling cling*

“More importantly...Let us get started! ...Allow me to show you my skills! ーー I shall start by scooping the fluffy rice into the bowl. Rather than filling it to the brim, I will serve a moderate portion. This is the most elegant way to serve it. Then on top I will sprinkle some cod roe, dried seaweed and yuzu salt. ...It would be rather boring to stick to the basic recipe, no? This is my personal interpretation of the dish, do not worry. I can assure that it will taste sublime.”

He cracks an egg.

“Well then, last but not least we crack in a fresh, raw egg and pour some of this special soy sauce on top. ーー It is done. This is the Sakamaki household’s version of tamagogake-gohan!”

*Thud*

“Well then, here you go. Please dig in while it is hot.”

 You take a bite.

“How is it?”

You tell him that it’s delicious. 

“Why of course. It is a dish which was carefully crafted to bring out all of the aromas, flavors and textures to their fullest after all. The rich eggs and the deep flavor of the soy sauce go perfectly with the fluffy rice. However, right when you think that it might be a little blend and one-toned, the cod roe, seaweed and yuzu salt kick to add a new flavor profile so you never get tired of eating it. 

This is how tamagogake-gohan should be. Do you comprehend?”

You nod.

“Pleasing your palate is child’s play. ...Well then, usually I would go wake up the others around this hour, but I suppose we can postpone it a little for today.”

You ask Reiji if he will have breakfast as well.

“Yes, I figured this was a fine opportunity for me to enjoy a meal alongside you. You could say this is my award for all the hard work I put in. You do not mind, do you?”

He joins you at the table.

“Usually there is always someone making a fuss. I rarely ever get the chance to enjoy a meal in peace. In that regard, perhaps I should be grateful to you. However, make sure to warn me before you get peckish, okay?”

You nod.

“Very well. Let us dig in then.”

*Cling*

“...Mm. I suppose having a meal together with just the two of us like this is quite enjoyable every now and then.”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Raw eggs are commonly consumed in Japan since the country has no history of salmonella being found in eggs. By cracking the egg on top of steaming-hot rice and instantly mixing it together, the heat from the rice will also slightly cook the egg, so it’s not 100% raw when you eat it. Still, the consistency of the dish is quite ‘goopy’ - for lack of a better word - so I understand why a lot of people (myself included) would not find it very appetizing. :p

[felinisnoctis]

Bonded Pairs: Food and Fondness

Zariel belongs to @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan and Cedric is @sleepyfan-blog's of course. They're a good apothecary duo.

And of course @nightshade-victorian for the bonded boys.

Tags: @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @egrets-not-regrets @sleepyfan-blog @kit-williams

“Hi, I need to speak to Apothecary Zariel?”  The ultramarine at the desk eyed the baseline human standing in front of him.  They were carrying a large cooler that to astartes senses smelled of meat and bread and onions.  “I have a delivery for some of his patients.” It was late, and the waiting room was nearly empty.

“Please have a seat in the visitor lounge, I will ask him to come down when he has a moment.”  The ultramarine sent a quick message off to the apothecary, who came down to the lounge after several minutes.  “I have a break in my rounds?  Oh, that smells good.”

Robin nodded.  “I made some astartes-sized chicken pot pies for Gerhardt and Asariel, if it’s ok for them to have.  There’s a couple marked for you and the other staff here too.  They’ll just need heating up real quick before you eat them, I made sure to make them in cardboard trays so they can be microwaved.”

Zariel smiled.  He’d already deduced that this baseline was bonded to Gerhardt, and it looked like the bond was settling in well.  “I’m sure they’ll be happy to know you’ve been thinking about them.  And thank you for thinking of us apothecaries as well, I’ll be sure to deliver these appropriately.”

He lifted the styrofoam cooler onto one shoulder and headed back towards Gerhardt’s room, smacking away the hands of some of his grabbier brothers on the way.  “These are for my patients, not for you.  You’re not suggesting that you’d like to take food away from your injured brother-cousins, are you?”  He reached Gerhardt’s room and entered.

The room was empty.  Shit.  He’d just found Asariel and now his other patient was gone?  He sent out a quiet alarm call to the other medical staff, indicating anyone who wasn’t urgently busy should help  him look for the patient, and then rushed over to check on the newly returned blood angel.

The mystery was solved as he opened the door.  Asariel was in his bed, dark eyes burning holes in him.  Gerhardt was slumped next to the bed, fast asleep with his head against Asariel’s chest as the other’s arms wrapped around his shoulders.  Zariel sighed and cancelled the alert and called for someone to move Gerhardt’s bed into the room.

“If I keep you two in the same room will you please stay in bed?” he scolded, beginning to examine his patient to ensure there was no further damage from his escapade.

“Yes sir.  I just need to be with him.  Especially when he has his seizures.”  Gerhardt sounded apologetic but Zariel could tell he’d do the same again if they were separated.

An assistant entered with Gerhardt’s bed and Zariel carefully eased Gerhardt back into it.  Asariel scooted over to the edge of his bed and reached a hand across to his brother, eyes still watching Zariel suspiciously.  Zariel sighed again.  He might need to speak to the salamanders about having a double sized bed made.  And maybe see if one of Cedric’s brother-cousins could be spared to keep an eye on these two.

“Robin brought you some meat pies, would you like one?” He said, instead of what he was thinking?

“Wait, why would they do that?” Gerhardt sounded legitimately bewildered.  “You’ll have to ask them later, but they smell good,” Zariel replied, dodging the question for the moment.  “Shall I have some heated up for you two?”.

Gerhardt thought for a moment, before responding “Yes please.”  After another long moment and a suspicious look, Asariel signed “Yes” as well.  Soon the pair were both settled back eating; the protein and carbs would do them some good.

Zariel settled back into his office to eat his own treat, calling Cedric in to talk to him.  The young apothecary gave a very wide-eyed hungry look at the meal.  “Yes, there’s one reserved for you as well.  Come in, I have a favor to ask of some of your brother-cousins."

[qtssvnwoo]

hii ik ive requested before but could i request a neville x huff!reader where like the reader is really loud and extroverted and has adhd but neville is his quiet self and he loves listening to her ramble about everything and anything? <333333 love your work bestie

You can request as many times as you'd like bestie <333

Prompt List-If you wanna request!!!

Masterlist- All my fics in one places for you!!

His (Chatty) Hufflepuff-Neville Longbottom

Neville wasn’t exactly the most extroverted person. He was typically quiet and didn’t say too much in class unless called upon. He had very few friends, and he honestly kept to himself a lot. Neville was picked on and teased for being ‘forgetful’ and sometimes, it made him sad, but he knew that what the people said was true, so he didn’t mind all too much. 

You on the other hand were like a bouncy ball. You’d talk and talk and talk until you physically could not. You were very energetic and tended to convey that into your words. You had quite a few friends and you were known for talking really fast. People liked you, and knew you as ‘the energetic Hufflepuff’. You had a habit of telling everyone everything and some found it quite annoying, but you didn’t care. 

Thats why, when Neville asked you out one day during fourth year, people were surprised when you said yes. They were even more surprised when you two continued to date for the years following. You and Neville were polar opposites and people found it odd that you two had been together for so long. 

“His quietness would send me through the roof.” Some people would say.

Or

“She’s too loud, and she is quite energetic. I would get annoyed quickly.” Others would say.

But, you never listened to them. Probably because you were too focused on talking to Neville. 

“OH OH OH OH OH. AND THEN, and then Cathrine told Henry that she never actually liked him! Can you believe that? After seven years together you think she would’ve truly liked him. I mean, if it was me, I would’ve never been with Henry because I’m convinced his favorite food is garlic bread! He always smells like garlic. I actually like Garlic I think it's yummy. And I like dipping it in pasta. Do you like Pasta Neville?” 

Neville smiled up at you from where he was sitting. He was trying to do his herbology homework but he was so engrossed in listening to you that his homework had made its way back into his bag. You two were sitting underneath the tree in the courtyard, and Neville watched as you laughed and smiled. Truth is, he was more paying attention to your lips moving and the sound of your laugh than your story, but he still answered you. 

“I like Pasta.” 

“Oh that's good because I LOVE Pasta, if I could eat pasta everyday I could. Well, maybe not everyday because I would get sick of it, and if I got sick of pasta I would be so sad because I LOVE pasta Neville. I really like when they put that white sauce on the pasta too, with the chicken. OH speaking of chicken, did you know my brother has a chicken farm in Italy! He raises chickens, Neville! Can you believe that?”

“I cannot.” 

“Me either, I could never be around chickens. They smell and they are very very loud. Kind of like Henry. OH OH OH Did I tell you that Henry and Cathrine aren’t together? They broke up because Cathrine said that she never liked him.”

You continued to talk, all your stories and little speeches always got mixed and tangled together, but you somehow managed to always bring it back to the main point. 

Neville sat in the courtyard listening to you rant about everything for the next hour, but he didn’t mind it. He loved the way your voice sounded, how you would laugh at your own jokes and the way you always asked him a question every now and then to keep him interested in the conversation. 

People walked past and they wondered how you two could stand each other. But you knew that with Neville’s quietness, and your chattiness, you were a perfect match. And no one could ever make you think otherwise.

[baileys-3]

NEW CHAPTER ONLINE on AO3

It's Date Night and First-Kiss-Night.

Little Sneak Peak below the link.

Half an hour later she is standing at the food truck, thinking about what to order. She could be mean and get something vegetarian with tofu. But she is not that mean. She decides on a salad with breaded chicken strips. Because she doesn't know exactly when Tim is coming, and she doesn't want the food to get cold until he gets here. And with salad, that definitely can't happen. She buys two more drinks in a red can and hopes it's something along the lines of Coke.

Then she takes a seat at the only table still free. Which is right next to the pavement. But at least there is still one table free. The truck seems to be more popular than she thought. But it's also a nice place. The neighborhood is quiet. Many nocturnal walkers use the adjacent park, and it even has a slightly romantic touch. She didn't just imagine the fairy lights, they're real.

Lucy pulls her phone out of her pocket and sees a message from Tim, who texted her five minutes ago that he is just leaving now. She puts her phone back and leans back in her chair. And then just watches the people on the road. The cook of the food truck. How he prepares his dishes. The cars driving by.

Suddenly a hand comes to rest on her shoulder and gives her a quick squeeze. She looks up and sees Tim standing next to her. She just smiles at him, and he just smiles back. Then he pulls the chair that is on the opposite side of the table from there next to her and sits down on it, wide-legged. So that his knee touches her thigh. It is almost impossible to get any closer. Otherwise, he would have to sit on her lap.

He looks around briefly.

"Treats of Vietnam. That's where we ended up." He says and she must laugh. Yes, this is definitely a different location than the n/naaka yesterday. "So, I guess this is our official first date."

"Mm, last night was, for sure. I mean, it's a better story for the grandkids."

Oh Shit. Did she just say grandkids? Yesterday she was making it clear to him that she wouldn't go to bed with him right away and now she's telling him about grandchildren.

[kai-anderson-whore]

I heard someone needs Colin Zabel suggestions and I GOT YOU. I literally CRAVE Colin fics. Im probably gonna send multiple submissions but this is the first one.

Colin x Reader cuddling up on the couch watching something about hoagies (it’s a sub sandwich if you’re wondering what it is. East Coast dialect 😚) food network on the tv. They both start craving it and decide to make one. But Colin and reader do not agree on meats/cheese/veggies/condiments that should go on to make the “perfect” hoagie. So they have a silly food battle on who could make the best hoagie like they’re on a competitive cooking show. After their both done they try each other’s hoagies and then their own. Colin hates to admit it but reader was right.

This one was short sorry but more Colin fics coming in the next few days 😊

Hoagies (colin zable x reader)

A/n; I don't know what actually goes in a hoagie in other countries so sorry if its not accurate the hoagies you get in Scotland where I'm from consists of chapti bread, Donna meat or chicken tikka, fries with cheese and chilli sauce so that's why I wrote that

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

It was your usual Friday night laying on your boyfriend's lap on the sofa watching food network on the tv, a thing about hoagies on making you absolutely crave one "Oh I could go one of them tight now with donna kebab meat fries with a load of cheese and chilli sauce" you groaned on colin's lap who looked at you with a chuckle "no thats not a hoagie y/n it has to have deli meat like salami and ham with salad" he protested making you sit up from his lap in shock.

"No it's not trust me my way of a hoagie is the best" you insisted you tried the hoagie you prefer when you and your best friend went on holiday to Scotland and tried one you never looked back learning how to make one of your own, "you thinking what I'm thinking?" Colin asked raising an eyebrow at you, "food battle" you smirked getting off the sofa you and Colin zoomed straight to the kitchen grabbing all the ingredients you needed for your food.

You and Colin now stood at either side of the kitchen island you cooked the fries in the oven, before preparing the meat, Colin was busy telling you he would win whilst preparing his hoagie, "Oh your so going down" he smirked cutting the bread up, "no your going down zable" you smirked back now cooking the donna meat.

"East Coast vs scotland" you laughed throwing a bit of lettuce at Colin who tried to catch it in his mouth but failed miserably, making you laugh your ass off almost falling to the floor, "I can't believe you completely missed that it was almost in" you said in between fits of laughter, "I could have gotten it if you knew how to throw better" Colin teased tossing another piece of lettuce which you caught in your mouth.

It didn't take long for the meat and fries to cook coating it with cheese and salad with chilli sauce you took your knife cutting the food in half for you and Colin and he did the same with his one, "be prepared for your taste buds to have a orgasm" you stated giving colin his half.

Colin gave you his half of the hoagie he made you took a bite you had to admit it was good but you still stood by the fact that your one was better, you watched as Colin took a hesitant bite of your hoagie chewing the food his eyes almost popping out of his head a moan of delight let his lips.

"This is really good wow okay you were right it is like the best thing ever" he mumbled his mouth full of food,"Colin don't talk with your mouth full but yes I told you so" you laughed about to take your half of the hoagie you made, "Hey what are you doing?" Colin asked looking a bit disappointed that you took the rest of the hoagie.

"I'm taking my half col" you chuckled taking another bite of the hoagie, soon enough you and Colin were full laying back on the sofa cuddled up almost falling asleep from being too full, "I don't think I can watch anything about food tonight" Colin chuckled his eyes closed with you laying on his chest, legs tangled together as the tv still played food network.

"Me neither I could sleep for a hundred years right now" you mumbled almost drifting into slumber neither of you wanted to get up too comfortable on the sofa, "that doesn't sound too bad right now" Colin yawned holding you closer to him drifting off to sleep.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #396

Though I went to bed early specifically for the purpose of waking up with enough time to eat before work... I still somehow managed to not have enough time to eat before work. I woke up a whole hour before I had to leave, even. I'm not really sure what happened.

I think maybe the combination of waking up at a weird hour and not getting enough hours left me feeling pretty groggy. I think I got ready more slowly than I otherwise would have. But nonetheless, I went to work! I had a nice time toodling around the little bakery space with Tr, putting breads in bags, putting labels on things, and putting cookies on cookie sheets! Unfortunately though, things were so busy that I couldn't get any yummy pictures of snacks for you; I'm sorry about that.

I did get these, though – perks of waking up earlier than usual:

I'm... not sure what possessed me to do this, but... An of the meat department visited today. And... J and I were supposed to meet up at Eggcellent after my shift and after I got supplies to make baked chicken leg quarters. So... suddenly, and for reasons unknown to me, as he was leaving, I awkwardly blurted out an invitation for An to join us.

Even more shocking than the fact that I mustered up whatever it was that made me ask in the first place... was the fact that he said yes.

...I am accustomed to people responding to my invitations with discomfort, rejection, and even occasionally disgust. My expectations were defied, and... this was very delightful. I was very excited! And also very worried. Because I'm always very worried.

So I got the things I could from the grocery, dropped them at home (though there was only asparagus and no chicken legs... I'll have to go elsewhere...), got changed, and asked M to drop me off at Eggcellent!! And then J showed up during his break at work!!! And then An showed up later, and it was very good!!!

We talked about a variety of things!!! An is knowledgeable about a great many subjects, but one of the subjects that he is most knowledgeable about is chemistry!! I have only a very basic understanding of the subject, but he spoke to me about a number of different fascinating (and very dangerous!!) compounds in terms that even I could understand!

I wish you could have seen the way his whole being lit up as he spoke about it!! Oh my goodness, but it was positively radiant!! To witness his joy as he spoke on these things was absolutely lovely!!

We talked for a very long time – I think for over 4 hours! I had an amazing time!! And... what also struck me was that when I spoke, he listened and tried to understand. Offered up relevant lived experiences of his own to try to bridge the gap. And when I mentioned lilac syrup... he went and looked up the compounds that are responsible for its scent... and offered me a better way to extract them than water.

...I was utterly floored. I...

…

Those at work spoke about his quiet kindness. It was marvelous to see it for myself.

...I want to spend more time with this person. His presence and bearing are delightful. But at the same time, I don't want to accidentally be overwhelming or annoying. I'm not really sure what to do. I have memories of asking for people's time, having them feeling obligated to say yes even when they really want to say no, or spending more time with me than they wanted to, and then resenting me and thinking I'm weird for it later.

...I don't want to mess everything up by being clumsy. I don't want to mess everything up by communicating poorly and being misunderstood.

Well in any case. Eggcellent has cream puffs now! I split one with J before An arrived!

It's like... a crispy outer pasty filled with untorched crème brûlée. It was FABULOUS. And then I got the usual suspects after An arrived:

...And now I am home. And there are lots and lots of things on my mind. And once again, I am up too late.

...I can at least fix the “up too late” part. I'll do that right now.

Hey. I love you. And I'm over here hoping you're well. Or... as well as you can be, all things considered.

Please stay safe. Because there's so much for you to look forward to. If I can go and awkwardly make new friends, then certainly you can do it, because you're a lot cooler than I am. If even a random derpasaurus like me can find people who can enjoy me, then certainly you can find people who will enjoy you, as kind and clever and gentle and witty as you are.

Good night. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[miniherodesktales]

Advent 15: Home Alone Cat: Part 5

'They said they'd blown up the Starbug and the crew into itty bitty pieces!' said Chicken Soup Vending Machine No. 12.

'You mean...they're all dead?' Cat asked.

'Well, yes,' said CS.

'I can't believe it...my only friends....all gone...'

'There, there,' soothed Talkie. 'Would you like some toast?'

The Cat sniffed loudly. 'Yeah, I'd like some toast.'

'Coming up.'

The Cat waited. The toaster remained silent.

'Is it done yet?'

'It may be a while....you see you have to actually put some bread in me before I can toast it. As the old saying goes: you can't make toast without bread.'

The Cat slammed the wall with his fist. 'Nothing is going right today!'

'Easy,' said CS. 'You don't know anything for certain. Someone may have survived.'

'You think so? How can I be sure?'

'I have a suggestion,' said Talkie.

'Shut up! No more toast talk! It's up to me now to save the Dwarf. It'll take cunning and it'll style. Now let me go change clothes.'

He strode purposefully down the corridor, turned around, and strode purposefully back in the right direction.

'So what was your idea?' asked C.S.

'Rimmer is always in connection with the Holographic suite, right? If I can get there, I can send a message. Find out if the boys are alive.'

'That's an idea but how you going to get there?'

Margo the Scutter came rolling past.

'Ah,' said CS.

***

'Ok,' Lister breathed. 'Let's take stock. I have a pineapple and you have a platypus.'

'Correct,' said Rimmer.

'Not quite,' said Kryten. 'You have a concussion and Mr Rimmer has a glitch.'

'That's what I said.'

'He did say that, Crouton, you should pay closer attention.'

'Maybe I'll take over,' said the android patiently. 'Starbug is a wreck but the fire is out. We're stranded but at least we're on a planet with breath-taking sea views. Mr Lister has a broken leg, while I've lost a leg. Mr Lister also has a head injury, while you, Mr Rimmer, have suffered damage to your Light Bee and are floating two inches above the ground. Thankfully we have two scutters to help us. Now that we're in a more stable situation I suggest that you two rest while scutters build a shelter. In the mean time I'll try to contact the Dwarf. It's possible that the Cat could also be in danger. Now, does that sound like a plan?'

'I feel strange,' Rimmer moaned.

'Try and sit down,' Lister suggested.

Rimmer sat down, still two inches above the beach. His eyes flashed purple.

'You guys look like toast!' he said in a voice that was not his own. 'Speaking of, would anyone like some toast?'

'Rimmer?'

'Talkie is that you?' Kryten asked.

'It sure is and, boy, am I glad to see you guys! We have a situation here.'

'We're not doing so great, either. How about you send out Starbug 4 to us? We'll need a team of medi scutters and engineering scutters to help us.'

'I'll do my best. But don't worry I guarantee there'll be fresh toast on board too! Signing out!'

Rimmer drew in a deep breath as he regained control of his body again.

'You OK?' Lister asked.

'I can taste burnt toast. It's not the worst but not the best either.'

[usaigi]

💕🏳️‍🌈 For the media hyperfixation asks!

YES THIS IS THE ONE I WANTED ILY TY

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Mateo Murdock 🥺 He's cute, angsty, funny, a hot mess, witty, mommy and daddy issues and has the mental illness sparkle ✨ Something about a character so filled with rage and hurt and so dedicated to help others. Mhm martyrs.. He and Loki were my first MCU blorbos and while I still like Loki, he's lost his blorbo status in my heart. He's my number one.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? (I got this one twice so I'm going to split up my response, here's the other half)

Heroes for Hire + contractors MK and Layla & Kingpin Felicia Hardy

Colleen - Her mom is Okinawan w/ connection to K'un-Lun/the mystical cities/Seven Capital Cities of Heaven and dad is born and raised in Hawaii with chinese, filipino, korean, japanese, white, hawaiian ancestry. Colleen being Okinawan and growing up in Hawaii exposed her to how indigenous people are treated like second class citizens on their own land and how outsiders/colonizers exploit the land and its resources and that why she's so protective of the K'un-Lun/mystical cities. Also she's a lesbian for Misty

Danny - Half white, half chinese. Some family and business partners and other rich people from Rand's side thought Danny's mom was a foreign gold digger but her family is China Rich™ British boarding school, met Wendell at fancy Ivy League etc. and still not "like them" So when Danny was born, he got exposed to a lot of racism and specifically Sinophobia/anti-Chinese comments all through childhood

And ADHD King 🏃 undiagnosed though, all his sifus thought he just liked to jump.

Claire - Afro-Latina (canon) Did I make this up or does Claire talk about experiencing a lot of anti-blackness growing up? Anyways, if that's canon, cool!(not that anti-blackness in the latine community is cool but for Netflix to acknowledge that's something afro-Latinos often experience) If not, it's canon now.

Matt - Mexican Matt etc etc. i know u know this by now but also trans masc Matt who thought he used to be a lesbian and is now a straight cis passing white passing guy despite being disabled poc and queer and the identity and religious meltdown he must have had when he went to college. Also I changed my mind, I do like BPD Matt

Jessica - wonder bread white but she's like self aware about it. She brings a store bought cake to the office potluck. She keeps her mouth closed when the others wash their chicken in the sink. PTSD is canon but I also think she has DPDR. Also Bi.

send me a ask about my media hyperfixation

[thessalian]

Thess vs A Return to Normalcy

Updates from the workplace, and the news is ... for once, not terrible.

See, turns out that Scruffman came in on Sunday, along with the other part-timer (who has been petitioning for more hours and I think she's going to get them at this rate), and really registered the massive dent I made in the backlog. Because seriously, that whole week we went from just under 300 to just under 150 and that was about 95% me. So we're finally back down to the low-mid double digits in terms of the size of the typing queue, and I have a feeling Scruffman had a general sense of, "Ooh. [Thess] did a lot. [Thess] should not have been doing that much, I know that."

Scruffman does not have the best communication skills, mind - especially not over email. He sent an email going, "Give me a bell ASAP" and actually included his number, which I have had stored on my phone for literally years, so I thought there was going to be something urgent and horrible. Because, you may recall, he was going to touch base with me today about potentially having to drag my poor fibro-riddled carcass over to fucking Hampstead owing to lack of bums in seats. I was concerned that this was going to be a call where Issues were brought up.

However, no, this was his way of saying, "I has a concern and want to make sure you're okay after the hours you put in last week". I didn't pull punches, either. He asked how I was doing, which is how he starts all telephone conversations, really, and I just told him, "I seriously overdid it last week". I could hear the gears turning as he was going, "Oh. Yeah. Oh, right" before moving on to the whole thing about the various unexpected absences.

So ... turns out that Violet, Goblin, and Temp are all out at the moment, though Goblin and Temp are apparently coming back on Friday. He's got Other Part-Timer coming in tomorrow, so it's really only Thursday where there might be a requirement for me to come in. But apparently that's only if Scruffman himself takes ill or something else goes entirely to hell. It was pretty clear that he was trying desperately hard not to make me go into the office, particularly after the couple of weeks I've already put in. He also recognised that I do more typing when I'm at home than I do at the office, and then surprised me further by going, "I don't necessarily mean overtime or anything!" like he very much doesn't want me to have to do any more of that either.

So the overall gist is, "Things are back to normal, we will try to manage things without forcing you on to public transport, thank you for all the help and we promise we're not going to make you do too much more of that!" I'm not sure what happens with my overtime - whether it's Time Off In Lieu or actual money, but I think I'll find that out when Head Honcho comes back from his own holidays ... or rather, when I come back from mine because he's away until next week and I'm off next week.

I very much need to be off next week. I haven't fully recovered yet. But at the very least my house is full of nice foods to have that don't require too much in the way of cookery. I did up a pork roast last night so I have leftovers from that. There's a roast chicken that's good in the fridge until Friday, which gives me time to do things with the leftover pork roast and with the duck legs and pork chops I got on sale with this month's grocery shop. But tonight, since I am exhausted (whoever was typing with me today also left me with the longer bullshit - thankfully there were no ten-minute atrocities but if I see one more placenta report this week I'm going to lose my damn mind), it will be leftover roast pork with mashed potato and an asparagus/tenderstem broccoli medley, with an appetiser of gluten-free mozzarella sticks (which, yes, still have the lactose issue but I have Lactaid so I can still have my breaded hot cheese) and possibly a salad. I did actually eat today! Okay, not lunch, but two pieces of gingerbread as breakfast went really well with my morning coffee.

[inkpot-ghost]

The Ritual in Yellow Hill CHAPTER 3: The Blacksmith

(1,700+ words, fpov, medieval, low fantasy, supernatural)

CWs: None

Tag list: (lmk if u want to be removed or added I DON'T BITE >:3)

@knabunny @lunesartsworld @frouvia @totally-actually-really-exist

I went to my house after smithing a bunch of pickaxes, shovels, and hoes, and the occasional sword or two, like everyday of my life since I started smithing instead of farming a little while after I lost my brother. My house still stood there, same as it always was, except it's all old, worn down and almost rickety. Just goes to show the place has experienced years of memory; some good; some bad. 

The situation in Yellow Hill now… is terrible; horrifying, one might say, because the once bright and big fields got more and more little every year. The chickens and pigs were disappearing and getting sick a few hours after being born. Population’s way fewer than years before, and it's just going to decrease with all the starving people. But despite everything, I managed, my mama managed, a few of my friends who are still alive managed, and that was all that mattered to me when I walk up to my doorstep. Instead of my happy and young mama making dinner for us, she was bedridden because, like the house, she had gone old and worn down. Even though she’d gone skinny and starving, she was still fighting. 

“Don't worry about me, Garrett dear. I'm just having a little rest, then I'll cook dinner.”

“No, no, Mama, I insist. I'll cook.”

She gave me a tired smile as I did exactly that. My cooking wasn't as great as Mama's but she taught me well in the little bit of time we had free time together. I'll admit, mostly everyday I woke up, it was immediately work, then right after work I sleep, then the cycle went on and on. I did it to distract myself from thinking about that ritual incident, and yet it was still there, in the back of my mind, haunting me. 

After setting the two, sadly small roasted chicken pieces on our table, I helped Mama off the bed, and eventually she walked on her own. We talked a bit over dinner.

I said, “Mama, I’m heading off to the town of Westgate by the morn.”

“Oh,” she looked disheartened, “is it for work?” 

“Yes, ‘was recommended by some middle-classers to become an apprentice there for bigger coin; told me I had a natural hand and would do well there.”

A smile tugged at her wrinkled lips before she said, “Ah, yes, you do and you would, dear. That's lovely.”

We didn’t say much after that, but we still enjoyed each other’s company while it lasted. Then, in the morn, I met Peter, a friend, who was also going to Westgate and asked him if I could catch a ride in his cart. He said yes and helped me pack up all my stuff and necessary equipment. We shared bread crumbs and some stories together while I bounced up and down in the cart as we rode through the woods, as I went outside of Yellow Hill for the first time in my life.

The thousands of trees eventually turned back into plains, and it was very unusual, to say the least, to see these new roads, new signs, new houses– this new world beyond the woods that gated Yellow Hill. After a couple hours I was starting to doze off but Peter yelled at me that we were almost there. I adjusted my tunic and gloves and whatnot, and prepared myself to meet the middle-class people of Westgate. They were nice. Some greeted me and asked some questions as I settled in my master's shop, but some looked bewildered. The local master blacksmith was a tad intimidating but was joyful anyway to have an apprentice. I showed him my various shovels and sickles but he didn't seem interested. Then I showed him my various swords, axes, and ornamental stuff, and he tested them with a surprised look on his face. He told me that they were ‘more than good’ for having been done by a self-taught artist. I didn't exactly know how to take the kind compliment so I said a simple thank you, and since I told him about my history of selling my tools in my hometown, he told me to run the shop for today, then he'll see how I do at the end of the day– if everything will be clean and if I’d make lots of sales somehow. Ah, no pressure, surely. He showed me where everything in the shop was, taught me what to say to certain customers, what reservations were there, and so on. Then after we had lunch together, it was time for my first shift.

I gave quite a few people their reserved items and received their coin. Some weirdly commented their disdain for my poor attire. A good handful gave me some unique orders I aimed to make during, like, weekends. The shop, overall, was busiest in the afternoon, and it overwhelmed me a bit, but I expected the new place to have new challenges. Though, there was a period of time where no one was coming in for a while, so I used that time to start smithing one of those unique orders. The clanging of my hammer to the hot metal was so loud I almost didn’t hear the bell ringing that told me the front door had been opened, then I politely greeted the customer a good afternoon.

She was a knight with a badge on her metal chest that I didn’t recognize, but I recognized that the symbol carved on her chest plate was a tiger with antlers, the kingdom of Ringledan’s flag, so I gave her a silent bow.

“A steel sword, please. The expensive one made for knights.”

I almost chuckled at her words because that was exactly how my master described the swords specifically made for official Ringledanian knights. They were expensive, around a thousand Ringledanian coins, not only because they’re made of high-quality steel, but also because they had a hint of enchantments on them already. Experienced knights usually enchant their swords even more. They have their own swordsmiths and shop within the castle walls but the swords have been distributed all over the kingdom in the shops who can afford to buy and sell them, for easy access for the knights (and other buyers who want them, but official knights have an undisclosed discount– that I didn’t know until my master told me)

“And here,” she said to me as she pulled shattered pieces of a knight’s sword from her pocket and put them on the desk, “Not the full sword but can’t let the steel go to waste. Consider this a donation.”

“Ah! Thank you for your kindness, Lady…?”

“Ethelind.”

“Lady Ethelind, we are indebted to you.”

“Don’t be.” 

She simply waited at my desk, even if there were seats, as I put away the pieces and got her her new sword. She swung it for a bit, gave a nod, then paid me around 800 gold coins.

“Do you know why that sword got so shattered?” she chimed.

Me being a little bored but mostly interested, I said, “Why?”

“A sorcerer’s chaotic magic,” she shook her head and chuckled, and I chuckled along even if I have not met a single sorcerer nor knew much about sorcerers, but what she said seemed true enough.

She continued with, “My little brother simply wanted to help an old lady fix her spectacles but ended up shattering every metal and glass in a five foot radius, which were my previous sword and some shop windows, but, hey! The lady’s spectacles were fixed so that counts for something. I still don’t fully understand how magic works.”

Now I really chuckled at that.

“Nobody got hurt?” I asked.

“Oh, don't worry. Twas all fine and dandy. My brother got a small scar, though. Naturally; healed himself.” 

“Ah, good to know!” 

She gave me an odd look, and that was when the bell rang and the door opened again. The man with an intricate staff, that had a crystal within it that you couldn’t miss, started speaking in the middle of me saying good afternoon.

“Eth! What’s taking you so long? Oh, don’t tell me you’re chatting up the blacksmith, Lady ‘I don’t wanna date anybody’ Ethelind?”

“Shut your rats’ feet-filled mouth, Tavi.” she rolled her eyes, “He was nice and conversational.”

“Don’t call me Tavi!” he replied, somewhat whinily, “It’s Tavian the Great Sorcerer of the West for you, thank you very much!”

I froze. 

Me and the eccentric-looking robed man locked eyes for half a second but I pretended to go back to whatever I was smithing because I couldn’t bear to look at him. I didn’t recognize him; neither did he recognize me, thankfully, so I didn’t know if he really was Mama’s Tavian, so I really shouldn't worry, but the memories… Need to be busy to keep the memories at bay.

“‘Great Sorcerer’; my ass,” Lady Ethelind retorted and rolled her eyes again.

Focusing on the hot iron in front of me helped a lot, because I didn’t wanna ruin it or nothing. Their conversation died out in the background of my mind; that is, before ‘Tavian the Great Sorcerer of the West’ yelled out, “Oooh! Look at this!”

I looked up just to see what he was talking about. In his hand held one of my daggers, ornamented with lots of gold designs on both the dagger itself and its sheath and sharp as ever.

“How much is this?” he basically slid towards me and held it up to my face.

“That would be a good forty silver coins, sir,” I answered with a smile.

“Forty silver!?” he sounded astonished, “Why, this great a craftsmanship and beauty should be worth at least a few gold coins!”

Lady Ethelind, deadpanned, said, “Are you going to pay a few gold coins?”

“No. Just one gold should suffice. Keep the change," he then slid it to me, then I bowed  and thanked him.

“He’s done some good for the both of us, I feel,” the Lady then said, looking at me with that unidentifiable expression again. “What’s your name, good sir? You look new here.”

I answered, “My name's Garrett. I just came here from Yellow Hill today.”

It was Tavian’s turn to be frozen. He stared at me dumbstruck, and I swallowed hard, and that's when we knew; that's when we told each other through our eyes, but I didn’t know how to even mention it to him, even if I wanted to so badly.

My heart… Oh, gods, my heart… It was racing right after I heard his name– and the way he said it; his accent– Could it even be? That after all these years, I’ve finally found my little Garrett? Like this? Guilt panged my very soul. In truth, I wasn’t really trying to look for him. At first, I thought he had fallen into that hole or been taken away from me by those creepy statues, but I hadn't been brave enough to even set foot back in that Yellow Hill. I had become too used to the extravagant life of being the son of a viscount, and my head had become too buried in books of magic and wonder. How my heart raced, oh, so fast. He was alive! My little Garrett! But I now I started to think that he had simply ran away and left me, and the more I thought about that as I looked at his face– his new face; a bearded one with wrinkles of a hard life– I grew irritated, vexed, but I threw water onto the irrational flame on my soul as quickly as I could. He was just a kid; a nine-year-old, I reminded myself. Something must've happened to me to make me black out, and he got scared. That's why he ran. Ran and never came back, or perhaps he tried to come back and got scared, like me– Oh, I could only assume, but I wanted the truth! However, when I tried to speak, ask him if he had an older brother he did a dumb ritual with years ago when they were children, it was like a hot stone had been placed in my mouth.

Instead, my sister, unbothered, spoke, “Garrett of Yellow Hill? You know, Yellow Hill was where I found–”

“Shush, shush, shush!” I shut my sister up. Does she not know how to NOT overshare!?

Right. My sister. Adoptive. She was clueless in this whole situation because I hadn't told her a thing! When she and her father tried to ask thirteen-year-old me questions, I was as mute as a petrified rabbit. I wasn't even able to tell them about the ritual– or half a ritual– that had transpired. So… all of my adoptive family were left in the dark about my origins.

“All right, all right,” she said as she rolled her eyes at me, then continued talking to the man. Gods, when will she be done!?

“Anyway, welcome, Garrett. What brings you here to Westgate?”

His eyes kept glancing between me and her. Eventually he put his attention solely on her. He replied, “Oh, just, y’know, work. Looking to get some more coin for a better life for my mama and me.”

‘Mama…’ I thought to myself, ‘I stopped saying that for so long…’ I felt a lump in my throat and my heart still kept running a useless race. I need to talk to him– I should– I would if I had… just talked!

“Ah, how is your mother?” my sister then asked. Wow! She is too talkative today! 

He glanced back at me and I suddenly felt ridiculous, so ridiculous! So I looked back at all the pretty daggers, shiny swords, and other equipment and simply decided to listen. Maybe I could still talk to him after their little small talk.

“She’s… well. Getting old and I’m worried about her, but she’s still thriving, even if she’s sick from the famine. We all are, but we’re trying.”

Oh, gods…

I turned my head just a bit. My sister also had the same guilty expression as me.

She told him, “I see. I am sorry, but I promise that the knights of Ringledan will do our best to stop this curse once and for all.” Then she lightly hit the insignia with her fist.

Of course, making doubtful promises, like a true member of the state.

“Thank you… Thank you for your service.” He smiled tiredly. I think he doubted that too. “So, you guys think it’s a curse?” he quickly added.

“The king thinks so. He theorizes that some rebel must’ve purposefully greatly upset the gods. He also thinks that a rebel wizard cast this curse upon us. It is my job and my brother’s to figure this out.”

“Ah, all right.” He nodded. “Good luck to you both and to all the knights and wizards. ‘Hope Ringledan could go back to the prosperous kingdom like it used to be.”

“Thank you, Garrett, kind stranger. Long live our kingdom.”

My sister thanked the man for the conversation and his service and was ready to head out. I didn’t care how weird it must’ve looked when I gawked at the swords for so long but didn’t end up buying any; I quickly walked up to the counter and twiddled my dagger between my fingers. I'm sure I looked like the same, stupid, petrified rabbit as I stuttered out nonsense. He gave me an empathetic look, and what I didn't like was that he was silent, but I get it… I spoke but couldn't even talk.

“Tavian!” Ethelind shouted, sounding impatient, startling me.

“I-… Uh–” I mentally berated myself as I struggled for the words, then like a spark of magic I forced myself to say at least one sentence, even if it was slightly slurred: “Where do you stay?”

“Lady Satchel’s Tavern.” he answered just as swiftly and slurred as I, but we understood each other perfectly.

With my heart feeling like it would burst out of my chest if I stayed any longer, I stormed out of that shop.

this one was my favorite chapter but unfortunately i hitted a block as i was writing the fourth sighhh 😭 updates will prob be extremely slow now but stay tuned nonetheless (if you want to !)

[diabloindigo]

How are you doing today?

Little tired and sore from surgery last week. I’m also numb in the chest area in the ribs. 

What day of the week is it?

Wednesday. 

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore?

There’s good in everyone. 

What do you admire most in a person?

Honesty and not playing mind games and strength (emotional). 

What’s your favorite dinosaur?

Velociraptor, triceratops, apatosaurus. 

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as?

With all the grief I've been through, sometimes I think I was a tyrannical asshole in a previous life. 

I would like to be reincarnated as a house cat or a ferret. 

What are 3 scents that you like?

Sandalwood. Pine. That strange cleanser smell in airports and hotels when i travel. Yeah, I’m weird. 

Do you ever use the grounding technique 54321?

No, I think of pleasant things. 

What’s the silliest thing you’ve gotten injured from?

My right arm fake falling. It was sore for two months. And I had to muscle through some stiffness when I went swimming. 

What’s the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

Meat and sweet. I marinade ribeyes in Italian, ranch dressings and add honey. I dip chicken tenders and barbecue chicken in honey 

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence?

I’d move into an apartment. 

Do you play any instruments?

No. I bought a Hohner harmonica with the intention of trying to learn how to play over the summer while convalescing 

What is an unpopular opinion you have?

Star Wars and Game of Thrones are overrated. 

Have you ever done a crazy dare?

Yeah, and I want to say nudity was involved....

What’s your favorite type of cheese or cheese substitute?

Muenster, sharp cheddar, colby, tilsit, or anything ripe-smelling from the shelves at those boutique grocery shops. 

What are things you still enjoy from your childhood?

Summer. Eating sticky red or blues no-cones in the evening. That chlorine smell from after a swim at the public pool. Cartoons. 

What smells better.. fresh baked bread or fresh brewed coffee?

Coffee. 

What’s the oddest text you’ve received recently?

When I had my “burner” phone, I received a text from some random woman asking me if I liked her blue glasses frames. (I said yes.) 

What’s something you believe everyone should have?

Stability. 

What’s the first thing you do once you get home from a trip?

Pee. Or get something to eat before attempting to unpack my things. 

What has been the worst kitchen mishap you’ve made?

My dog stole a steak from the mini grill. 

Do you know how your parents met?

In high school

Do you believe love is blind?

Yeah

If you could get away with it, what crime would you commit?

Some sort of cinema style heist where I concoct an elaborate scheme with a motley crew to infiltrate an event and end up stealing cheese or a golden octopus statue with nobody the wiser. 

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve?

Southern cooking. Fried chicken, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, chess pie, chicken fried steak, okra.  

Have you ever met a president?

No 

What food tastes better than its appearance to you?

Oatmeal. Frito Pie. Tapioca pudding. 

Do you actively post on social media?

Instagram. I still do FB only because 80% of my friends and family still use that hell site. 

What was your favorite childhood book?

The Mysterious Tadpole by Steven Kellogg. A kid is gifted a loch ness monster thinking he’s getting a tadpole. He raises his monster and ends up building a swimming pool next to his apartment so he can house his pet. 

Do you ever experience intrusive thoughts?

----------------

What do you consider to be the smartest animal?

Dolphins 

What movies make you laugh the most?

Raunchy comedies 

What’s a product you use everyday that you wish you could get a lifetime supply of?

Vitamin supplements. Soap. Deodorant. Gain laundry pods. 

What’s the best name you’ve heard a pet named?

I like it when people name pets after animals. I briefly had a gray-and-white cat named Goose. 

What always makes your day better?

Doing something random and fun. 

“Let’s try this Indian restaurant.” 

“You wanna see this movie? I can get tickets in there mins.” 

“There’s a Bahama Bucks. Want to stop for a snow cone?” 

Would you rather have multiple hobbies or 1 true passion?

1 true passion and 2 hobbies 

Coffee or tea?

Tea.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones?

I watch medical mysteries on Youtube. A grandma eats a pound of chocolate and this is how she has a stroke. 

Would you say you’re good at saving money?

I’ve slipped since I had surgery a few years back. After spending a lot on medical bills, I figured, “well, I spent $XXXX on surgery and medical supplies, so a $15 Disney pin or a restaurant meal isn’t going to make much difference in saving money.” 

I still have a robust savings account. It just hasn't gotten where I want it due to 2 surgeries in the past 2 years. And I worked OT to pad my paycheck before my recent operation. 

Have you ever ridden in the front of a roller coaster?

Once but it was a crappy rollercoaster 

Would you rather have free massages for a year or facials?

Massages

When was the last time you’ve had an adrenaline rush?

Paddle boating in white water rapids. 

Have you ever used a whole chapstick?

No

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift?

Yes, there’s that one friend who gives me lollipops shaped like genitalia. 

[derangedpepper]

ok for the silly mans birthday im finally gonna make a headcanons post for him,,,,, hhhhh love you nagito /p -he/they/it, although ill probably use he/him mostly -gay demiboy (idk he just,,, always felt kinda distant from himself so his genders not like 100%,,,, idk how to describe it but basically he just is a demiboy,as.f,dds) -rlly likes oversized clothing,,,, him when big jacket,,,,,,, -obsessed over his hair when he was rlly young,,, like he would go insane if a single hair was out of place,,, but now he just doesnt care and will sometimes go weeks w/ brushing his hair until hajimes like nagito wtf please brush your hair -LOVES rats,,,, he finds them adorable and honestly thinks they get way too much hate,,, he probably has like 2 rats,,,,, -but he still loves dogs he just honestly is rlly scared of owning one??? idk how to say it but hes worried what happened to his childhood dog will happen to any new dogs he gets,,,,,, -he id rlly scared his luck will hurt his rats so much so he wasnt even the person that got them in the first place,,,, hajime got them for him and then he was like: "why??? what if something bad happens to them???? what if my luck goes wee??????" and hajime was like: "shut the fuck up" -he actually doesnt like bagels in particular he just likes bread in general,,,, -nagito when he was eating a bagel and his rat went: "mine" -okay im still on his rats but he has two girl rats (there no weird reason svjahmsbm) one named hope and the other faith,,,,, ill let you guess why,,,,, hhhhh,,,,, -anyways hope is a white rat w/ black spots and faith is albino,,,, the two are lil stinkers w/ eachother but actually kinda nice around nagito,,,,,, they hate hajime for some reason tho,,,, -nagito gets rlly overwhelmed rlly easily,,,, hhhhh :projects: -anyways i feel like nagito rlly hates sugary foods (i mean candies n stuff not pastries) and most kinds of meat (he rlly only likes chicken,,,,,) but he will eat smth if its given to him bc he feels like he has to -extremely touch starved and literally melts at the slightest touch -although at the same time if its someone hes not rlly close to he hates being touched (unless he initiates contact),,,, like even if youre one of his friends unless youre like extremely close he will hate being touched,,,,, yes im projecting again,,,,,, yes i kin nagito,,,,,, -he rlly likes gardening and has a whole garden of all sorts of flowers and due to his luck hes actually kinda good at it,,,,, he has flowers based off his friends (a rlly pink one named kaz, a spiky one named hinata, etc etc) -his bed is literally just stuffed animals nothing else thats why he sleeps in hajimes bed -lieks the taste of that fake grass you sometimes get in easter baskets,,,, idk if anyone else got it but it was so weird but i feel like he would like it just bc -hes the kinda person that puts the bowl before the cereal and milk,,,, yes he will say that if someone asks he does say bowl -unironically likes coconut mall -rlly rlly likes clovers,,, he finds them to be pretty plus the whole luck theme,,,,, -doesnt have a definite favorite color but just says green cause its easier and its not rlly wrong