#Would not recommend to people with morals

[gsirvitor]

1. Support our Veterans. 2. Support the politician who dodged draft 5 times and called soldiers killed in action "suckers" and "losers". You can only pick one.

I support our Veterans, I also understand that the statement you're quoting is a lie.

A White House email from a U.S. Marine Corps official proves a “bad weather call” was the reason for President Trump’s canceled visit to Aisne-Marne American cemetery in 2018; further evidence refuting Biden’s claim includes U.S. Navy records obtained via a Freedom of Information Act request — and even John Bolton's book.

Unequivocal denials came from virtually every official on the trip:

Zach Fuentes, former deputy to Chief of Staff Gen. John Kelly: “I did not hear POTUS call anyone losers when I told him about the weather. Honestly, do you think General Kelly would have stood by and let ANYONE call fallen Marines losers?” (Breitbart, 9/7/20)

John Bolton, former National Security Advisor: “I didn't hear either of those comments or anything even resembling them. I was there at the point in time that morning when it was decided that he would not go Aisne-Marne cemetery. He decided not to do it because of John Kelly's recommendation. It was entirely a weather-related decision, and I thought the proper thing to do.” (Fox News, 9/4/20)

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, former White House press secretary: “The Atlantic story on @realDonaldTrump is total BS. I was actually there and one of the people part of the discussion - this never happened … I am disgusted by this false attack.” (X, 9/3/20)

Hogan Gidley, former White House deputy press secretary: “These are disgusting, grotesque, reprehensible lies. I was there in Paris and the President never said those things … These weak, pathetic, cowardly background ‘sources’ do not have the courage or decency to put their names to these false accusations because they know how completely ludicrous they are. It's sickening that they would hide in the shadows to knowingly try and hurt the morale of our great military simply for an attack on a political opponent.” (X, 9/3/20)

Dan Scavino, White House deputy chief of staff for communications: “I was with POTUS in France, with Sarah, and have been at his side throughout it all. Complete lies by ‘anonymous sources’ that were ‘dropped’ just as he begins to campaign (and surge). A disgraceful attempt to smear POTUS, 60 days before the Presidential Election! Disgusting!!” (X, 9/3/20)

Jordan Karem, former personal aide to President Trump: “This is not even close to being factually accurate. Plain and simple, it just never happened.” (X, 9/3/20)

Johnny DeStefano, former counselor to President Trump: “I was on this trip. The Atlantic bit is not true. Period.” (X, 9/4/20)

Stephen Miller, former senior advisor to President Trump: “ A despicable lie ... The president deeply wanted to attend the memorial event in question and was deeply displeased by the bad weather call." (Washington Examiner, 9/3/20)

Derek Lyons, former staff secretary and counselor to President Trump: “I was with the President the morning after the scheduled visit. He was extremely disappointed that arrangements could not be made to get him to the site, and that the trip had been cancelled.” (X, 9/4/20)

Dan Walsh, former White House deputy chief of staff: “I can attest to the fact that there was a bad weather call in France, and that the helicopters were unable to safely make the flight.” (White House Press Briefing, 9/4/20)

First Lady Melania Trump: “@TheAtlantic story is not true. It has become a very dangerous time when anonymous sources are believed above all else, & no one knows their motivation. This is not journalism - It is activism. And it is a disservice to the people of our great nation.” (X, 9/4/20)

Jamie McCourt, former U.S. Ambassador to France and Monaco: “In my presence, POTUS has NEVER denigrated any member of the U.S. military or anyone in service to our country. And he certainly did not that day, either. Let me add, he was devastated to not be able to go to the cemetery at Belleau Wood. In fact, the next day, he attended and spoke at the ceremony in Suresnes in the pouring rain.” (Breitbart, 9/7/20)

Mick Mulvaney, former acting White House chief of staff: “These claims are simply outrageous. I never heard the President disparage our war dead or wounded. In fact, the exact opposite is true. I was with him at the 75th Anniversary of the D-Day invasion in Normandy. As we flew over the beaches by helicopter he was outwardly in awe of the accomplishments of the Allied Forces, and the sacrifices they paid.” (X, 9/4/20)

Trump very much respects the armed forces, and those who gave their lives for those who live today, now, this is not a day for politics, this is a day of Remembrance, respect.

Don your poppy and pay your respects to the fallen, and those who serve.

[respectthepetty]

Hi, I'm Respect the Petty, and I love mess.

Bad subtitles and sometimes no subtitles, zany product placements, dodgy plot lines, shoddy audio, amateur acting, crass dialogue, inexplicable pacing - LOVE!

>Insert Hit Bite Love episode 2<

It's not a simple mess. No. It's a strategic hot mess:

There is a stepbrothers plot that won't be introduced until the third episode, when this is only a six-episode show because the team behind this show already knows some people are Judge Judies out there.

There is a plot that involves a sweet kid, Shokun, and his two toxic options, but it's a kink-shame free zone.

Then there is the A+ plot between these two - Burger and King

King is the BEST BOY and Burger is an idiot.

No, really, King has the brain cells in this pair. Burger ate paper and thought he was going to die, and now he is talking to King's mom, who is a nurse, about his poop.

King, with his brain cells, knows what he wants, is always helpful, and cares for his best friend (the sweet kid with the two toxic options in the kink-shame free zone)

He thought (for good reasons) that Burger liked him and decided to embrace it.

But Burger doesn't like him...yet

Like I mentioned - A strategic hot mess. 2/10 would not recommend to people with morals and actual standards.

But for my fellow trash pandas - 8/10 so far. It lost a point for having five parts each week, and another point for attempting to have a murder plot. Give me more of the art student with his paint though, and I'll give back a point.

[the-busy-ghost]

Me normally: Let people love what they love

Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE

[eggymcdegy]

He is wanted dead for interdimensional hijinx

[clockworkcheetah]

anti[character] posts are already insufferable especially when the person decides to fucking tag it, but when its that kinda post combined with 'this character bad. but this character good' are even more annoying because its a double whammy of the worst character takes youve ever seen

[storytellering]

if it's okay, would you mind sharing your art process? your style is SO gorgeous dude. keep it up spardacest nation!!!

Thank you so much anon, and of course! I kinda posted about it on twitter a while ago, but for anyone not also on there, here's a paraphrasing of what I said there! (under a cut bc it's gonna get a bit long)

(speedpaint video from procreate mostly bc like I also said in that post, it's one of the few pieces I've done entirely on procreate and thus entirely recorded kdfjhdk I usually don't do the sketching + painting parts on there but every now and then I get lazy and want to get it all done quick in one program lol! It's not as good as it would look if I were using krita to render (which is what I normally use) but it gets the idea across decently of what it is that I do)

The short version of my process is: sketch, clean up sketch for lineart, then flat colors, then paint over the flats (i make the flats my shadows and paint on the light), then a multiply layer for skin details (like lips, eyebags, etc), then an overlay layer for skin transparency details (red over the ears/nose/fingertips etc), then i do hair over the lineart, then a multiply layer with the contact shadows in a light beige/grey/neutral tone on top of everything else, and then i unify layers, paint over the details, and color correct the HELL out of it The longer version is: SO, first of all, I will say, my entire process for a finished/fully redered piece is pretty scattered and uses a lot of different apps, because after many years of trying out different drawing apps I found that I just worked better when I could incorporate the parts I liked best from each individual one rather than having to adapt to another app entirely! In total, what I use is: autodesk sketchbook and procreate for the first half I do on my ipad, then krita and photoshop on my computer when I'm actually rendering (but any photo editing app instead of ps will do, I'm just used to photoshop bc that's what I learned as my first drawing app WAAAY back in the day lol), and then meitu on my phone for color filters (also any phone editing app with filters in it will do), AND also optional just for references: blender and daz3d on computer + magicposer on my phone The actual step by step of what I do: First of all, if I want to do a detailed, well rendered piece I will start by getting my references ready. That means either just grabbing a screenshot from the game if it's like, a simple portrait, or a photo reference, taking a picture of myself in the right pose/lighting, and if it's something more complex I will recreate the scene in Daz3D to simulate a realistic lighting, OR even just blender (i have the game models for the dmc characters downloaded, so I can just pop them in, pose them and change the lighting to get a realistic idea of what shadows their faces will cast in that specific angle/lighting.) Note: references are pretty essential to me, and there's nothing to be ashamed about for using them! Personally I don't struggle a lot with the drawing/sketching part of art, but my tiny little pea brain cannot fathom how to make an object 3D in my mind, and how to visualize shadows realistically... thus the reliance on 3D programs to do that for me, and then all I have to do is draw what I'm seeing lol. My art improved significantly ever since I started making 3D refs so I could get /exactly/ what I needed - there's still a lot of leeway you need to learn though, because as realistic as the lighting will be in a rendering program, you'll never really get a fully natural looking image, as far as stuff like the body stretching/squishing/pulling when it's in movement, facial expressions, folds in clothing/fabric, etc... so really it's more a guide than something meant to be followed 1:1.

Then, once I'm confident I know exactly what I'm gonna draw/have the idea in my head, I start sketching it in sketchbook. Not really getting very in depth, just blocking out rough shapes - I like sketchbook and to be on my ipad for that because it feels very reminiscent of traditional sketching on paper to me, which while I'm not super confident on my traditional art abilities, I do get the most natural/fluid/non-stiff figures out that way. Then when I think I have the general idea ready, I export the sketch layer as a png and import it into procreate - which is where I kinda start picking at the sketch and polishing it like i'm carving it out haha. Lots of liquify tool, flipping the canvas to check if it's even, blending out some of the lineart to help out with the rendering later, and then polishing up what was once the sketch into serviceable lineart. I usually reimport it back into sketchbook at this stage - while I like procreate for drawing I don't love the brushes I can use for lineart there, and so I usually only draw the "base" naked figure in there - when I'm in sketchbook I use a hard pencil to refine the details, then on a separate layer add all the things "on top" like hair, clothing, etc - usually I can get it pretty easily in one go, and once I'm satisfied I erase the naked body under the clothes and unify the lineart layers. Then I will just do the flats with a hard brush, turning the lineart layer into an overlay layer and coloring things in with the shadow colors. At this point, I export the file as a psd and import it on my computer - I give it a once over in photoshop first to see if there needs to be any adjusting (like whether any layer that has an effect needs to have a different effect, if all the colors look right since the ipad screen isn't the most faithful, if i wanna change the background color, etc), and once I think it's ready enough, I open it up in krita, where I do the actual bulk of the painting/rendering (as to why specifically krita: it's because I've gotten very comfortable with the brush/painting brush dynamics there and cannot seem to get as good results anywhere else, it's just the goldilocks spot of a brush for me haha.) If anyone's curious, here's the brushes I usually use for painting:

The one in the middle is my go to painting brush, left one for tinier/more refined details, right one for blending out soft shadows (though I learned the hard way to not overuse it, or it will look like I went ham with an airbrush tool lol). (I don't change any of the settings on these brushes, so if you wanna try out the exact ones I use! Just fresh off how they come out the app haha) I paint on the lights on top of the shadows, and just focus on that for the time being - once I'm done with the basic painting, I'll make a separate multiply layer for details like lip color, eye waterlines, makeup if there is any, eyebags, etc, and then adjust the opacity until it feels right - then I'll make an overlay layer with skin translucency details (like, when you hold your hands in front of a light and see the tips of your fingers become bright orange - many parts of your body are always a bit translucent to the blood underneath, specifically parts where the skin is thin like noses, cheeks, joints, knuckles, etc, and I found it makes the character look a lot more alive to add that subtle coloring in) - then usually I do hair on a separate layer on top of the lineart (because that way I can add small flyaways, more details, etc, and just use the lineart as a guide) After that, I'll usually make a multiply layer on top of everything where I'll add contact shadows in a neutral color (usually pretty pale, it'll be darker anyway since it's multiply), and once I feel like I've rendered everything out properly, I save the psd and re-open it on photoshop.

In photoshop, I'll mess around with the layers a little bit more (changing hue/saturation, opacity, etc), fuck around with the background to make it look pleasing, and once I'm happy with it, I'll unify the layers and start color correcting - usually by duplicating the unified layer and messing with the curve/hsl of the image and then changing the opacity of that edited layer until it's as strong or muted as I want it to be - then I also edit the RGB curves individually and adjust the opacity of that also (because I just really like how it ends up looking if I give a bit of a red/warm tint to the shadows lol), and at that point often I will reimport the finished image into procreate for some finalizing touches! Like, blending out shadows that came out too harshly, painting over anything that came out not the way I wanted it, redefining the lineart if it got messy during painting, and adding any extra small detail that might have gotten lost like catchlights, hair shines, hair flyaways, tears, etc. I also do one last round of flipping the canvas and liquify if needed! At this point, I export the finished image both to my computer and my phone - on my phone I open it up on the photo editing app, and add a bunch of different color filters - I don't hesitate from going completely balls to the walls here, and just kinda applying as many filters as will make an image look pleasing to my eye. Once I think it looks good, I'll export the edited image to my computer - and then open both the version without filters and the one with them on photoshop, and use the filtered version as an opacity layer, and adjust it until it doesn't look as crazy anymore lol. One last step I recently started incorporating was also changing the image to grayscale after I'm done, and doing one last round of curves in greyscale to make sure the values look right, and nothing is getting too lost because the values are too similar (because i know i get a bit swept up in getting repulsed by harsh contrasting lighting and can end up washing out all of rendering if I don't check myself kjdfgk) AND that's it! Yes it's a pretty long and chaotic process, but it's coming from years of trial and error and realizing I can just let myself fo whatever makes me happier with the results, and I don't have to stay constrained to one program if I don't like every tool it has to offer/don't have to accept the final image fresh off the painting app as the "finished" image with no adjustments allowed after, lol. I don't find it takes a lot more time than if I didn't do it this way, but YMMV. Hope this was helpful and sorry for taking so long to explain! I just wanted to give a thorough explanation dfhdkhkx

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

[onawhimsicot]

AHHHH my coworker who also works at the place i interviewed for last week told me she found out i applied there bc they asked her there if she knew me/what she thought about me (to which she gave a glowing recommendation bc we work hellish sunday shifts together LOL) and when i told her i thought i did poorly on the interview, she was like "??? youre in the top 2 applicants" holy shIT thats anxiety for yall LMAO

[bastard-sweet]

The point of A Christmas Carol was not to teach morals by example; it was to teach morals directly. Ebenezer Scrooge was specifically made to be a reader insert. The lessons of A Xmas Carol can mostly be divided into 'you don't want to be this guy (he's suffering)' and 'you don't want to be this guy (he's evil, like ultimately, Biblically, very un-Xtian)', afforded by the third category of Basically Everything In The Book 'you don't want to be this guy anymore (he's deeply relatable to the upper-class Victorians the book is targeted at)'. The fact that he doesn't spend money on himself is not a sign that he needs to care for himself more; it's to show that he's so greedy to the point that it is useless, to show that valuing money this much is bad and senseless. The fact that he were to die if he didn't change for the better is an example of Cosmic punishment. Maybe the story does have a hint of teaching Scrooge to take care of himself, but that's only for the same reason that Scrooge is given a 'workaholic billionaire' backstory. The rich like(d) to see themselves as hard-working, and were the target audience, and Dickens didn't want to insult his target audience while trying to teach them basic human decency. So he also took the opportunity to slot that into the 'you don't want to be this guy (he's suffering)' method of teaching.

[wizzardhat]

Im rereading nona and i am baffled anew by people who listen to jod recount every single agonizing step in his slow and terrible descent and are like, "wow John was always an awful irredeemable liar and his reluctance to admit that he set off the nukes was not, in fact, him struggling to accept the magnitude of how completely and terribly he failed and became the very person he was trying to stop, but was just another calculated lie because he's a Bad Man. if it were me i would have simply not done that." I have to assume these are the same people who read "**When our backs are against the wall and everything is falling apart we rarely become heroes" and were like "huh i wonder who thats for"

**approximate quote from memory because I cannot for the life of me find the exact excerpt but it was one of Wake's "letters" that only Harrow could read while they were in the bubble

[wellhalesbells]

LIAR YOU TOTALLY WATCHED ONE SEQUEL!!! 😉💜

https://www.tumblr.com/wellhalesbells/736050291745652736/friendraichu-jackironsides

HAHAHAHA, I should clarify that I just mean for super hero-y ones. I mostly watch the first one and rarely watch the second (or anything after...... or remakes, lol), I think the only Marvel one I've seen in recent history is Thor: Ragnarok. Actually, the Spider-man franchise pretty much encapsulates how I interact with Marvel properties: I saw the first trilogy because it was new and exciting at the time, then they remade it too fast and I refused to pay for something I just saw, that was so recent in my memory from the release date I could still remember exact scenes from it (THERE WERE ONLY FIVE YEARS BETWEEN SPIDER-MAN 3 AND THE REBOOT - THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN. HOW IS THAT ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYONE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN???), then I watched the first Tom Holland one (fourteen years I can vibe with) and nothing that followed because that's generally when the gimmicks and cameos start in lieu of good story-telling, or they make it dark and gritty because that's the only way to ground this superhuman, right (I assume a random white guy: "Should we fridge a lady? Yeah, we should probably fridge a lady"). The first one generally at least tries to have a soul because they have to introduce the character and make you care about them but many of the ones that follow (the few I've seen from when the MCU was just starting out and I had hope *coughs*Iron Man 2, Thor 2, etc.*coughs*) are just cash grabs that don't try because you already love this character and there they are, right there, so money please!

Meg 2 however..... EPIC, NO NOTES. It knows if I was a shark girl, I was probably a dinosaur girl and it gambled correctly. That's what you're watching this for? Have three sharks and an unnecessary (probably stupid expensive) dinosaur intro that is nearly completely irrelevant to the story but that you will also not want to live without and for an extra special bonus: oblivious husbands and their brilliant daughter. Like. You got me nailed, my dude. Will watch every subsequent sequel, no questions asked.

[cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong]

I finally compiled my masterlist of mmni quotes

It's pretty long so it's below the cut

Lasers and Quasars

“I really think they shouldn't have a thing for brooms. I think it's unfortunate that our movie hinges on them having a broom fetish”

I Found it in the Bushes

“Sean, I'm Keith. Sean. Sean. Sean.”

“The actor playing the vampire is now openly laughing at the guy playing igor.”

-

“Yes dad.”

 “I'm reminding myself. Sean.”

“Dad, Keith.”

“Yes. Thats me I'm Keith you're Sean.”

“I'm Sean you're Keith.”

“Yes”

“You're the fireman.”

“I've come to the conclusion that it is infact a fire and you should put it out. Good day.”

“The firemen in Versailles don't put out the fires themselves?”

“I'm just Piecing together to story of petunia. So she was a woman who did not believe in vampires but died at the hands of a vampire which meant that Keith delivered his life to try to kill a vampire but seconds before she died - of a vampire - he divorced her.”

“Nope, they're not allowed to.”

-

Who Bun It

“Are you alright? Your beak fell off your face. Must you possibly see a doctor.”

Flat Pack Attack

“May I have a moment alone with the boy?”

“What I like about Steve is only 2 seconds ago he was called ben.”

-

“No need to be angry, no need to grieve. Hello, Steve.”

“Of course I'll be upstairs preparing my finger.”

-

“It's Ben.”

-

“You look like you could use some advice well I'll tell you something extra special nice.”

-

“You have a feeling like the tightening of a sphincter. well that's probably just the feeling of amygdala”

-

“Theres a jar of preserves inside me. That's right I must get it out as fast as I can the only way I know how. I'm gonna use some of these things at the IKEA store to get it out of myself.”

“That was Delta Von Tassle: The Man With No Name (Self-managed).

-

From Russia with Gloves 

“You've surely got a family koala. You could go away with them. You're such a good friend of mine.”

“Koalas are polygamous y'know... Polyamorous”

-

“You want to drive a speedboat to the amazon?”

“I love the full body glove, makes you're whole body look like hand and I like big hand.”

-

“I do”

“It'll take all bloody week”

-

“Sometimes I've wondered about slipping a hand in your pouch but then I've thought no, don't - resist”

“You are a useless man but you're damn fast on Expedia and I appreciate that.”

-

“Yes I've thought the same thing about you.”

-

“Im so sorry Georgina. You said they would all be adopted and looked after but instead they've been stuffed full of drugs and slit ear to ear. I don't know what to say really.”

-

“Together we got rid of the glove and now I'm ready for some interspecies love”

“It doesn't bother you that I'm all skin and no fluff....or a bit of fluff.”

-

A Cat in the Habit 

“No, you don't have horses in america do you?”

“I love the moment where sister Penelope really thinks this scene has ended and the camera will cut away from me but then she is answered by God.”

-

“I've seen you up at that convent, riding around on your horse with your top off, all oiled up.”

“No no only camels”

-

“She's teaching me about how to be a person in the world. How to love somebody else. No matter who you are.”

“You know I like to be smooth dad.”

-

“How to do erotic drawings of men.”

“God can do all of that son.”

“Yes, God not massively known for his eroticism in his artwork”

-

“Celeste is it? I can smell you a mile off. Named after the sky but stinking of hell.”

-

“Perhaps instead of the harpoons, we could read scriptures from the ok! Magazine and pray for her.”

“You may try your harpoons but it will not work if you've a rogue nun on your hands.”

-

“Katie Price breaks up with her latest boyfriend”

“Victoria Beckham redecorates her kitchen”

“Pregnancies....galore”

Careless Whisper 

“Well you know often these things first time round are tricky. Maybe you just need to give it another go. You know what they say, give things another go.”

“Listen I know you're my special special special boy”

“That's what they always say.”

-

“I'm 4 specials and nothing more.”

Dressed for Danger 

“I must be alone with each and every one of you.”

“Do you need thin translucent cloth that is almost completely pointless? Well then you need muslin cloth”

-

“And if you must do that then you've gotta find us first cause we do that via the game of hide and seek.”

“OK 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1″

“Tony I see you behind the umbrella”

“Damn it you're good!”

“I know. I am French.”

-

“Yes you are moist and sad from crying”

-

“I am afraid you are in the midst of a murderer”

“This is not case closed. This is case wide open, like a clam.”

-

“I'm in the midst of a murder?!”

“Murderer!”

“In the - you are - as in -”

“I'm in the midst of a murderer?”

“No you are like-you are standing in the same room as a murderer.”

“There's a murderer in the midst?!”

“I am going to do scene 2 of the show. Celia opens the show and now you will show me what came next. And by showing me what came next, you will show me what went before.”

“Yes. Your midst! In our midst!”

-

A Cop in the Ocean 

“I never stopped being dastardly in general did I?”

“Oh my god, a clown with a Squeegee”

-

“I guess not boss”

“No I just continued to be moist and dastardly but what I wanna do is get a whole crew of girlscouts fiddlin' cookies all over the good part of town.”

“Do a blood test on them and a urine test and you'll find blood in their system. Blood and- and drugs.”

“I can whip up some girl scouts for fiddling if you want that boss.”

-

High Tide School

“Kids have the spirit of a thousand... Enlightened Buddhists”

Suicide Squid 

“I just believe fish shouldn't make people rich”

-

“Their horrid squid outward is my horrid squid inward.”

“Some people wanna be rich. Some people want fame. But others just wanna kill fish.”

-

“You were hurt, you were lost, so you killed all the fish. We've all been there.”

“It’s too late for us we are outward squid”

-

Now Museum Now You Don’t

“Don't try anything boys. My teeth are faster than a nun’s nugget”

-

“My teeth are definitely faster. Your nugget is essentially stationary.”

-

“Never try to take revenge on a small bitter man when its gone past his bedtime cause he will just make you go ‘shlum’ for 15 minutes”

“I'm not who I was and you are who you were”

-

Light Over the Rocks 

“You know what they say, you know what I say your father he just-he just rubbed the rock and roll right out of me he ruined rock and roll for me forever when he ran off and left you and I and you and I, you”

“Us”

“Us that's the word I was looking for, us.”

-

“Y’know what they say about Oranges... They never stop being juicy. And that's why my hair is orange so I'm always juicy y'know what I mean. I've always been like this. Y'know what they say about lights... They're bright and they burn”

“Ooh dear oh dear oh dear. That's how it always goes down at the open mic night. Some people get recognised. Some people get left behind. But what do I know, I'm just Chesney Hawkes.”

-

The Quest for Escape a Lot 

“How did you know my one weakness was nets Arthur?”

“Everyone's weakness is nets, tim. That's why they're called nets. It stands for not easily traversible.”

“What about the s?”

“System. Not easily traversible system.”

Look Out 

“I only ever picked up sticks because I loved you. But now I'm scared. I'm scared, without any sticks, I'll have nothing. I won't be the same man I was before”

“Paul there is always a stick. The stick within Paul. Don't you know about it? Think about it, it runs all the way from your head to the bottom bit of the spine thing”

Enter the Elephant 

“Well you know what they say about cockneys. Fly pluckers, the lot of em.”

“The Young one is foolish. Only a rash man snatches ovaries at a fight."

-

Love Behind Bars 

“Yes you did your tax things and I did that thing where I stole... Hair... From the hairdressers... The floor...i took all the hair no one even wants that y'know”

“I know and here we are on the maximum security wing in prison”

-

“In what way is good mental health like a walnut latte? Like that-no! You can't just have a song and jig enough that it all makes sense. The next verse explains from a scientific point of view. How a walnut latte and mental health are in any way alike.”

“You know what, I always find walnuts so romantic. The way they look like a tiny brain. It makes me think of my brain connecting with your brain.”

-

“Well it makes perfect sense because, which camera are we on, okay you know I'm gonna explain this scientifically cause if you get a walnut and you like the taste of the walnut and it gives you endorphins which actually improves your mental health so if you're eating the walnut then you make your mental health better that's how a walnut oat milk latte improves your mental health”

Temple of the Red Giraffe

“I’m giving you the jewels”

“I thought you were burning my breasts off”

“No its a common mistake but I wasn't”

Nightmare on Bone Street

“You taught your dog to laugh?”

“pride comes before a fall remember”

“Yes he understands the rhythm of comedy very well.”

-

“yes but I don't believe in gravity”

-

“A wardrobe a wardrobe my kingdom for a wardrobe.”

“The lead less dog stops licking out the cream from that dead man. For God's sake get off the floor.”

-

Wishing for Wishy Washy

“I know most girls want ponies not a horrible sick old horse like me”

“Look at that horrible horse!”

“I've got an udder and I don't know why.”

-

When the narrative gets tough everyone else deserts Harry Kershaw to allow him to carry on on his own

“Congratulations on your womb”

-

Fraud of the Blings

“I've made the rope sentient.. Hello!?”

“You've given us our sense of purpose back. You've made us make sense again.” [just something Jonathan said that made me emotional]

“Help me I am a sentient rope. I have knowledge. For the first time I have knowledge. HELP ME! WHAT AM I WHAT AM I WHAT AM I WHY MUST THE ROPE EXIST. WHY DO I DANGLE SO?”

-

Over the Henge 

“Yes, I remember our young days, days where we were young, young before we were old but after we were very young. We were young men not knowkng where to go. But we went there, then we came back from there. We were just young of course. Not old, young. Soon to be young - old. Soon to be old.”

“You do speak a tremendous amount of bollocks sir”

“As all kings must”

The Hound of the Wensleydales 

“I was stuffed with a cheese puffed”

“Did cheese Radio just call him a ball bag? I think cheese radio needs to remember that this is a family show.”

-

“Yeah she's dead and it would appear The method of murder was cheese puffed”

Popes on the Ropes 

“Vampires v popes that's how it's always been in the WWE.”

“Always and forever since BC”

“It's an old, old profession.”

“Popes were around BC?”

“That's right.”

“Yeah we were real forward thinking then.”

“All dinosaurs work for the catholic church”

“We knew it was coming.”

-

Zoomania 

“We've got 8 minutes left and we've got story strands everywhere! We've got the elephant with a bomb on about to be dropped onto the earth, they’ve become gangsters about to kill people and our lead characters are frozen still.”

“Who's the tortoise pervert”

-

Singing in the Aisles 

“Asda is a wizard it would seem”

A Dice with Death 

“It is an unusual form of ventriloqy to begin with your mouth wider than when you were speaking yourself”

-

“It was all building nicely but now all of a sudden we found out that one of them is a cloud.”

-

“I’ve got my own show. I disappear into another man's box every night, I get confused, I don't know where I am, and then bang I'm in a curtain call”

-

“I am dissipating. Someone sprayed me with silver nitrate.”

“I am an elemental creature we cannot be together. Our children would be half human half vapour they would not survive.”

-

“No, I don't even know what that means!”

“It dissipates clouds.”

“What?”

“you need to know more advanced chemistry.”

“He's still putting his trust in the mass proposing ventriloquist”

“I don't think I do.”

-

Star Paws

“Of course the world needs intelligence but I'll tell you what else it needs, balls.”

“Which you come with many”

“I bring balls in spades not literally”

“Sir you can't keep your balls in the cupboard anymore you'll have to take them back”

“There we are”

“Did he just put his balls back on? So he's literally a man who has lots of testicles that's what's going on there.”

Angstronauts 

“You make sure that this ship is ship shape ready.”

“Ribena shareth? Yee.”

-

“I was gonna touch your hand but then I thought it would be horrible cause they're so sweaty.”

“It's always in the shape of a ship.”

-

“Mine are like pickled clams.”

If it Wasn't for Those Pesky Kids 

“It's unusual to blackmail someone during a press conference”

Abandoned Love

“I don't know what's weirder, that they didnt book or that the hats belonged to the premises”

“That's jazz.”

Good Guys Finish Last 

“I convinced Dec that he should actually do the double act with a real ant but um...he said no. And that was a good call.”

-

“I am the sea! Deeper than a thousand lakes, wider than 10 lakes, sideways greater in measurement Than 40 lakes. I am the sea.”

“He ain't no friend of yours. He's been using you like toothpaste. Well it's time the toothpaste became the toothpastee”

-

Ipswitch it up 

“These people with their newfangled things, internet, cars! I tell you what, I was very happy with the flip phone and a horse.”

Croydonosaurus 

“That man-ladybird has been the only thing that I've had in my life the last 5 years that has made me feel again. It's why I'm so competitive with my daughter about love.”

“That doesn't seem healthy. Bringing a 6 foot ladybird into the family home.”

“I suppose it's about a 1 all right now.”

Back to the Tutor 

“Nana you don't think my old friends will think it's weird or strange that my date is my grandma do you?”

“Before we went out to do this with a new team the one thing we said was let's keep it simple at the start. Already we have a half car assembled by a woman who is also the radio. Hold on tight everyone.”

-

“It's not weird or strange at all to have your - such a lovely busty lady as your date”

“No you're right. It's wasn't so much the busty as the grandma that I was worried about.”

Pier Today Gone Tomorrow 

“You take a grudge and you nurture it like a small cat.”

-

No. No I don't think she's the strange one in this. It was the parrot, the sleeping bag man and the medieval princess in a tiktok office interviewing for the role of 'friend' they are the strange things! A woman trying to turn over a new leaf - that's pretty regular I'd say.

“What has happened. It was all going really well, I thought this was going to be a quick scene where we saw it was really hard for Mirabel to turn over a new leaf, but she puts some glasses on, suddenly everything changed and now she's meeting the mayor, the princess and a small gentleman in a sleeping bag.”

-

The Man Who Came in from the Cold Storage 

“As we are in east London I got you some olives served on a bin lid with turmeric as requested.”

-

“You double killed Samson”

“Right,it's very very important - never thought I'd say this one - it's very important we don't shoot an unborn baby during the matinee. I think that's like, a theatre rule. If it isn't, it should be.”

-

“I don't care about Samson. His pool was tiny and not chlorinated.”

“But his heart was big and also not chlorinated.”

Fielding of Dreams

“Enjoying the fact that this is our life! There ain't no ups but there sure as heck ain't no downs. And that's fine with me.”

“I said one domesticated sheep. There's a flock of them. Ones a policeperson, ones a miserable old woman called Mabel and one appears to be smoking.”

“This really is the story of a child called felix who settled.”

-

Fire In the Hole

“A woman with independence is as strong as an oxen full of iron and a fire full of oxygen is as strong as that woman”

It's up to you, Newark Newark 

“Here's a newark hotdog. It's made entirely of meat. Meat bun, meat dog, meat onions.”

“Here are the 4 horsemen. You are the apocalypse.”

-

“Dog meat?”

“Your old 15 year old hips can't handle it anymore.

“No no comma, meat, dog”

-

Ah I take olive oil every day.

Cause you have to. We just produce it naturally.”

-

“They see! We don't see. We don't see the pooing. I'm sorry I forgot about I forgot about the pooing. Pooing? Outrageous. That stops. That stops now and she goes somewhere private. But it's awful. And of course jiminys dad, is David really going to be proud of them now?”

“The books have gone away. How awful. They threw a family of books into the famous Newark River. He knows what it's like to have his mum kicked into outer space. That's how dark this gets, that's how dark sports get man.”

-

“Gillian wait - wooahhh”

“Susan quickly-”

“We gotta help we need to just- wooahha”

[general screaming and shouting]

“PAUSE. PAUSE. PAUSE. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I SAY NO!I CANT HANDLE THIS. I'M GETTING LIGHTHEADED CAUSE I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH THIS FILM AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. BUT OF COURSE THEY STOP FALLING OVER IN IT NOW RIGHT.”

“Gillian Gillian come on inside the medical tent.”

“And these were these were the highlights from day one at the games I mean I think it's fair to say that the Olympic games have been well and truly soiled in reputation. What an awful thing to happen”

Ashopocalypse Now

“My names Jack I'm a car mechanic and I've lost my companion”

“Control yourself Sybill Peacock Penis”

-

“Thank you for that précis”

“Who are you? Can you give me a précis of you?”

“I'm Jolene my husband is a slightly crazed military man who seems to have lost perspective on real human connection. Then there's a man whose actually a woman. There's a happy birthday prophecy. They're searching for me but I've lost them but mostly I'm looking for my daughter who loves Jane Austen and she got lost in a Waterstones I think she may also be somewhere else so that's who looking for.”

“It's time! For... Other characters.”

“We come from quite different worlds.”

-

Ashopocalypse Next 

“Remembering when morrisons wasn't boarded up. People could go inside and-”

“Look at the fresh vegetables.”

“This sample isn't going to be enough to create an antidote. We're going to need all of your blood.”

“Moderately fresh yes.”

-

“All the brilliant characters we had and all we're left with is a guy who can't remember which character he is unless his peacock penis is out. I don't care anymore. Family friendly? I don't care anymore. We stop tomorrow. We stop tomorrow that's it. In for a penny in for a pound. Get your peacock penis out as much as you want. If you're not gonna try and stop it I'm not either. [...] what are you all applauding? Are you that culture starved that an umbrella penis gives you that much joy? What has happened to civilisation??”

“One second we'll - we'll need to get authorisation from the local council for that.”

-

Ashopocalypse Then 

“You're one of those weird people aren't you?”

“Nothing weird about us. I'm simply a man who gets involuntary erections and this is Andrew Garfield”

“I'm a pigeon”

“Dressed as a Pigeon.”

The Day Harry Got Cut in Half 

[Not a quote just a note that Lauren does a Scottish accent for 90% of her characters in mmni but the one time the film is actually set in Scotland she ends up doing a welsh accent.]

“Pray don't be fickle. Pray she won't be no pickle.”

[seapasture]

So, this is weirdly specific, but does anybody have any recommendations for anime/manga/books/video games etc. which feature characters who struggle with moral perfectionism/scrupulosity? Bonus points if they mask their self-hatred with silliness afsfsgsgs but it's not a requirement.

[pa-pa-plasma]

just watched Across the Spiderverse. literally cant stop thinking about Pavitr

[novawinter]

I really hate the trope "This real life historical woman had MAGIC but her life turned out exactly the same". Bonus points if the magic undermines her achievements in the real world.

[attila-werther]

every day I watch another show where a character is named Dino and at this point I feel like it's either a sign or an extremely funny cosmic joke