#all the moral greyness you can imagine

[clockworkcheetah]

anti[character] posts are already insufferable especially when the person decides to fucking tag it, but when its that kinda post combined with 'this character bad. but this character good' are even more annoying because its a double whammy of the worst character takes youve ever seen

[rnelodyy]

"why are bells hells still arguing about what to do they should make a decision already" no!!!!!!! this is the "fly by the seat of your pants" party. this is the "we panicked and made porn" party. this is the "concussion theatre" party. i want them to not make any choice until they are At the fucking controls, hem and haw and argue for an hour and then panic and do something insane.

they are faced with an impossible choice that will affect the lives of the entire world. there's eight people in their party, all of whom have different opinions and perspectives, and they are on a MASSIVE time crunch. their options are risk the world to chase off the gods or go back to the status quo, and there's no way orym would agree to the former, and there's no way dorian and/or ashton would agree to the latter. this kind of debate is what you can make a career out of arguing about and they had to figure this shit out in like a month. Just yesterday they got another option they hadn't previously considered and they're having to talk about it in the middle of All The Other Shit they have to do, but if they pause to debate it NOW the decision will be made FOR them.

^^^^^ that is literally the juiciest fucking character drama imaginable. and you want it to stop??? you want them to just agree on a course of action and stick with it??????

look this is just what a morally grey narrative does to a mf. the mighty nein and vox machina didn't argue like this bc they didnt HAVE to, their villains (while absolutely deep and complex characters) had all the moral greyness of a saturday morning cartoon, so the only options they had were "stop them or dont and if you dont you're fucked". i fucking love VM and especially the M9 but istg im going to personally add five more minutes of God Arguments to the next episode for every person i see complaining that BH doesn't have the simple solution to the complex problem yet.

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

what exactly about inscryption do you like, I don't remember asking

Inscryption has many, many good individual ideas in it. It has many ideas in it in general; every time I think about it I come up with another essay on the spot. They were perhaps accidental, but they're still there, and the dev's willingness to commit to the (usually kind of gauche) concept of sentient video game characters creates a story that you couldn't find anywhere else.

Act 1 (along with the demo) has an atmosphere that's unmatched by any other card game I've seen. It's this beautiful yet ominous chiaroscuro world with nothing but you, your playing pieces, and your captor sitting in a log den. And with how small it is, your imagination gets to run wild with the tales of the woods you're told, the sound design, and the lighting, as you die over and over again trying to find a way out. It's so good at building up mystery and suspense as you the mechanics start to shift and the cards in your deck change, and you prepare for the world to change.

The demo, Sacrifices Must Be Made, has an entirely different story and nails it. It has the same atmosphere as act 1, but because it's shorter and was made as a complete entry for Ludum Dare, its got a much steeper difficulty curve which really weaves into your desperation to survive and not starve. The self-mutilation mechanics that it has are so much more impactful than the main game because the matches are so rigged that you have to use them. There's so many small yet hard-hitting implications in each piece of dialogue. And the ending is a cruel but fitting one.

The Scrybes are compelling characters. They don't have much dialogue, but you can deduce a lot about them by their gameplay styles, and the way they treat their subordinates and/or the players. None of them are truly good or evil; even Leshy and Grimora are driven by selfishness and the belief that everything needs to burn respectively. It's a level of moral greyness that I never would've expected out of the guy who made Pony Island of all things.

The Scrybes also double as really interesting commentary on game design. P03 is basically a personification of the guy who won't stop min-maxing to everybody's detriment, Leshy values lore above balance, Magnificus loves spectacle but his deck is godawful to set up unless you have a super-mega plan in action. And even when one Scrybe takes over, they always have a secondary mechanic from one of the others in their campaign. I think it's accidental, but it's an amazing example of ludo-narrative assonance.

The post-game DLC has a small but heartfelt story about a game developer's work accidentally coming to life, and her finding a lot of solace in pouring her time into this new world in her computer even as her company threatens to burn all the work. It's far less intrusive than the lore-dumps in the main game, and the character Kaycee Hobbes is written as a much more realistic audience stand-in than the previous guy.

One of the last entries (which I haven't gotten to yet but have seen amazing art for) is just a wish from Kaycee that somebody out in the world will find her work and enjoy it. It's a poignant story about a creative field which isn't usually discussed in popular media, with uncomfortably real parallels to how the game industry works today. It doesn't entirely condemn getting obsessed with your work either, since it's clear that the disc is a sort of evil artefact and Kaycee continues to isolate herself as she works harder on it.

It's done in like. 12 paragraphs.

After playing one of the creator's most recent works, Voir Dire, it's clear that the guy works really well when he's focusing on a single concept and not trying to recreate that one creepypasta game of his that got big. The problem is that he seems to prefer to trying to tie everything together into an ARG/mystery multiverse thing above all else.

But that doesn't mean Inscryption doesn't have other parts of it to enjoy. Sometimes you just stumble into brilliance by total accident ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[yvqip]

Another rant abt gojo bc yeah except this time its of the moral greyness of his character

‼️slight spoiler warning‼️for ppl who haven’t read the manga

In my last post abt gojo i was talking about his parallels to jesus but ONLY in the aspect of having to suffer for others as a sort of ‘duty’ and their relations to divinity. While yes, gojo did care for his students, riko, suguru, and his friends/coworkers and wanted to protect them, protecting others wasn’t why he was a sorcerer- he even said it himself multiple times that protecting the weak was tiring and that you can only save those ready to be saved- like in the Shibuya arc where he doesn’t hesitate to kill all those mutilated humans whereas someone like Yuuji would’ve struggled to decide what to do in that situation. I always characterized him as some sort of ‘hero’ because of the way he took in yuta, yuuji, and megumi and cared for the rest of his students which isn’t exactly wrong but it’s not completely right. The reason he did all of it was so he could help the next generation become as strong as him or as close as possible so that 1. He wouldn’t be alone at the top 2. To transform the world of Jujutsu and 3. So that the kids’ youth isn’t taken away from them (obv trauma comes with the job but it’s more about preventing unnecessary tragedies like the higher ups sending weaker sorcerers to handle curses that they aren’t ready for). His morals are more self centered as he uses Jujutsu more for self gratification than protecting the weak. Idk if ppl would agree w me on this but it’s been confirmed in the manga panel where he’s speaking with suguru and nanami in the afterlife ->

while gojo’s goals/intentions weren’t inherently selfish they weren’t for a heroic cause, his morals were based on his own emotions and self interests unlike geto whose morals were based on the institutional belief that sorcerers should protect the weak because they’re the strong but unfortunately his morals were founded in his faith within jujutsu society hence the reason why his morals weakened in correspondence to his faith in the institution. Although that’s why I think gojo is a good example of one of the most apparent philosophies in jjk which is, ‘do what has to be done’. This doesn’t mean i dont love when ppl characterize him as sweet and silly and clingy tho!! I adore it and think it really is a part of who he is just buried under the trauma and pressure, i imagine he’d be a lot more like that in another world where jujutsu sorcery didn’t exist! he deserves sm better </3

[wordslikesilver]

Playing baldur’s gate 3 with my gf has made it so much more palatable to play an Oath of Vengeance Paladin. Like I do not look at people like auntie Ethel and think to myself oh nooo but what if she could change?? I’m just like no you are unquestionably ontologically evil and I’m going to smite you so hard it removes you from the samsara of life and death, buckle up you son of a bitch. Playing Durge is ESPECIALLY fun for the moral greyness of what am I and how long can I hold back the red tide? Multiclassing into warlock is so fun too, I really feel like I’m playing as a Spirit of Vengeance, this is how I’ve imagined my character so far

I only wish I could be an Aasimar but Tieflings are so wicked cool as well. It’s interesting being in D&D and looking at all these enemies and realizing the world here doesn’t have to feel so paralyzingly grey anymore since it’s a fictional setting where you’re supposed to have fun and feel empowered enough to fight the great evils you face. IRL I firmly believe everyone has a right to live and rehabilitative justice is the only real justice but here, I come face to face with genocidal racists and actual bloodthirsty demons from hell and fuck it! I’m killing all of you! I will sleep all the better for it too! I see the suffering of the weak and I will rise to protect them with my own bare chest as their shield if that’s what it takes, and then I’m coming for Vengeance. There is nothing you can do to stop me. No matter how far or fast you run I will find you and I will kill you and you will learn what the ones you hurt felt when you hunted them.

GOD it’s so fun to let loose and indulge in the righteous fury against monsters and the very worst that come crawling out of the darkness. Fucking LOVE getting to role play as Ghost Rider, this game FUCKS.

[well-dressed-sewer-rat]

SPEEDRUNNING A (PROBABLY MILDLY INCORRECT) DOA TRIO COLOR PALETTE ANALYSIS BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY LIFE HERE WE GO

okay here we go entire essay under the cut btw prepare yourself

made a diagram so you can see what i’m talking about, if it just looks like lines thats because it absolutely is don’t worry it’ll make sense later (i hope)

ok so. to start it off all of them have quite a bit of clearly visible black and white on their design, so black and white have to mean something they all have in common. colors like purple and crimson are shared between some, but not all of them, so those have to mean things that two of the three share but the one remaining does not. lastly, all of them have at least one color that is only seen in their design and not in any other member of the doa trio, so these colors mean something that is unique to them, a quality that none of the others possess.

let's start with black and white, which are the most obvious to me. i think those two colors together represent moral greyness; white and black are often associated with good and evil, and the first thing that comes to mind when trying to think of traits that fyodor, nikolai, and sigma all share is the fact that all three are wonderful examples of morally grey characters.

crimson is visible in quite a lot of small places in nikolai’s design, and in one big place in fyodor’s; sigma, however, has none. this is why i believe crimson represents violence. nikolai is by far the most violent of the three, hence why crimson appears in almost every corner of his design. unlike him, fyodor isn’t a very violent person upon first glance. when he is violent, however, he is VERY violent, usually ending lives right away rather than hurting or torturing anyone. he is quite well-known for this, which is why the color appears in a very large and noticeable area on his design; enough to make you remember it’s there without popping up every five seconds. sigma, as previously mentioned, does not have any noticeable crimson in his design (other than his eyes, which are more of a light pink, but are still technically on the reddish spectrum). he is introduced (in the manga) as a kind and considerate person who cares deeply for his customers, and right away it’s very hard to imagine him carrying out any acts of violence at all. he only does when it is absolutely necessary (to stop the hunting dogs from discovering too much about/attempting to stop the doa’s plan, when threatening taneda wasn’t enough and he was forced to stab him instead, etc.). this could be why his eyes are somewhat on the reddish spectrum without being entirely crimson, as seen in the other two.

now for purple/magenta, which is seen most often in fyodor and sigma; it is in nikolai's design if you squint, but we'll get into that later. because of this, purple could represent something like patience/knowledge/seriousness. it’s seen most often in fyodor, in his eyes and everywhere along his shirt thing, and second most often in sigma, in his hair and under his coat. his hair, which is a very prominent piece of his design, is a really light shade of purple, symbolizing how he is viewed from the outside; people see him as a serious and respectable person, in a good way. under his coat, however, is a much darker shade of purple, which represents how he is serious, but in a much darker light than people paint him in. it doesn’t jump out at you immediately, and the purple can often be mistaken for black, just like how his darker side is buried far below the side he lets the people of his casino see. this more serious side of him is also a big part of his moral greyness, hence it being mistaken for black, which we’ve already determined represents the morally grey side of the doa trio. the purple in nikolai’s design is also under his coat, hidden in a similar fashion to sigma’s, with one key difference; there isn’t any prominent purple on the outside. this is because upon meeting him, you don’t think, “wow, what a wise, serious person!” you think, “what the hell is that guy doing running around in a joker costume from the dollar tree?” the more serious side of him isn’t visible unless you really look for it, but it’s definitely there.

as for the colors that appear individually in their designs, fyodor’s is the yellow on his coat and buttons (it is worth mentioning that nikolai also has a gold chain near his neck, but it doesn’t really matter anyway since i haven’t been able to figure out what the yellow represents lmao), nikolai’s are the bright green and blue in his eyes, and sigma’s is the blue-grey on his lapels (woah new coat terminology acquired), his tie, and lining his giant coat tail thing.

i wasn’t really sure what nikolai’s blue and green could mean based on color alone, so i thought more in terms of traits that he has that fyodor and sigma do not. the answer here is fairly obvious; his longing for freedom. freedom is seen as a bright and pure concept, which could be why the colors are so vibrant, but i think the main thing about nikolai’s eyes in relation to his character is the fact that they are two different colors. not only that, but one of them is hidden and the other has a noticeable scar over it. the eye with the scar could represent the broken/twisted/insane side of himself he presents to the world, while the other hidden eye symbolizes the side of himself he keeps buried underneath all that, similar to the purple under his coat we already went over.

now, sigma’s blue-grey color is the interesting part. it can’t mean the same thing as nikolai’s eye, since the themes in nikolai’s eyes are tied more to their physical state rather than their colors (and also sigma has hardly anything in common with him lmao). sigma’s non-violent tendencies are the biggest difference he has with the others, but that was already covered with his lack of crimson. after a while, a really obvious detail smacked me on the back of the head; blue is the color often associated with the armed detective agency. at the time of writing this, i’ve only read up to about chapter 82 in the manga, but i’ve seen many caught-up manga readers talking about how sigma might join the detective agency in the near future. so with whatever’s going on right now in the manga and the desaturated blue in his design, i think it’s safe to say there’s a pretty good chance of this happening.

as previously mentioned, i’m not too sure what fyodor and nikolai’s gold could represent. the closest thing i got to a possible explanation was it symbolizing their characters’ strange and seemingly out-of-place, yet beautiful relationship, but i’m not sure where that ties in to the color gold. if anyone else has any better ideas feel free to rb with your theories lmao i’ve done enough thinking for one day

also the guy ever @geo-metric added some stuff and i asked him to shove it on here and he was like yeah sure so here’s that

“theres another part i didnt see you mention for the black and white parts and that is the way it is portrayed on each character. fyodors coat is the primary black part if his design, with nearly his whole outfit underneath being white which can symbolize the way how, from an outside perspective, its like 'woah this dude is really evil with all his murder and stuff' but then you look further beneath that and you see oh wait no hes got a point and hes doing this in the name of justice and not just 'hey you know what would be so silly of me to do'.

SIGMA, ON THE OTHER HAND IS THE OPPOSITE. his vest and shirt thing (idk wtf its called) are the primary white parts of his outfit, and his pants are the black part. in his case, the white doesnt fully cover the black like fyodors, but you still first see the white, the same way you first look at him and go 'yeah this guy is morally good' and then go just a smidge deeper and go 'oh wait. no. no hes not.'

for nikolai, he actually has a bit more of black and white just spread throughout his design, which shows the difference compared to dostoy and sigma, because you can see both sides easily. in one of his first scenes where he does more than point a gun at mushitaros head, hes talking to atsushi, and, upon being asked about all the. the uh. terrorisms. he responds with two main points: 1.) its fun. he likes to do it. he gets pleasure from killing people. thats like woah major. evilness. moral red flags. but then he brings up his second point: he knows murder is evil. he knows its wrong. hes guilty about it. he does it to be free. he doesnt feel free when hes abiding the law. he feels it to be wrong. he HAS a moral conscience, but it still comes out looking to be evil. because he explains those two things in the same paragraph, you understand both the morally good and bad sides of him pretty quickly

in conclusion: colours amirite. i spent 25 minutes typing this its not even that long”

everyone give a round of applause to the vertically challenged rock for his wonderful insight 👏👏👏

thank you for taking the time to read this all, you have the attention span of a. uh. a person that probably doesnt have adhd (if you do though i’m even more impressed, congrats on not dying halfway through this post)

anyway yeah. im so normal about them i swear to god i mean fyodor i’m the normalest guy you ever did see when it comes to them just the normalest

[transfemlogan]

idk if you can see asks again yet BUT

i kinda wanna talk abt what that anon was saying with people adding non-side characters into fanworks and how that could be connected to other analyses of the fanbase (i haven’t been here as long as u have though so mb there’s some stuff idk abt)

for me it’s symptomatic of the way this fanbase treats the characters in general- they like. boil them down to one simple trait, one little personality thing that becomes how they’re viewed in fanon. so like patton is just sweet/innocent/stupid, but all other aspects of who he is, what he does, etc are kinda they out the window.

people add characters like picani and sleep even though they’ve had no canon overlap with the sides because their fanon personalities are simple enough to imagine with the sides. this fanbase ignores canon events so often that they can just like. add characters in and it feels the same to them

by making them into these one-note characters, it’s easy to imagine them interacting with one another as if they are from the same series because they’re so one dimensional and shallow in fanon. they can basically be made into whatever you want them to

i just think it kinda says something abt the way this fanbase warps it’s characters beyond recognition tht you can straight up just add these guys in and it doesn’t change the dynamic much, it doesn’t seem super out of place, and they’re just kinda. there

idk if that made any sense, im really tired, but my thoughts on this change all the time so i might look at this later and decide it’s bullshit lol who knows

I do agree that people boil down the sides into one specific trait & dont have any nuance to their character, however every fandom has crossover AUs. Every fandom boils characters down to their characters into one specific trait. I don't feel like there's anything to discuss there, because if I wanted to talk about how fandoms function as a whole, I'd just talk about that. But I don't want to. I want to talk specifically about the SaSi fandom and how it correlates to the series.

There's a difference between

"the series is about morally greyness and how there is no 'good' or 'bad' in the world, but the fanbase completely ignores that to treat the sides one-dimensionally" (and because of the lack of content and large stretches of time)

&

"the fanbase creates crossover AUs, like every other fanbase, and tends to make the characters one dimensional to fit them into the AU"

Every fandom has the same issues, but it's very interesting when it comes to SaSi specifically, because they are actively ignoring the lesson in Sanders Sides. It's the same with the Undertale fandom. People were actively ignoring the point of the story to make a child out to be the villain, because they couldn't comprehend, or want, the idea that it was them/the player who was fault

(also, it's less the one dimensional thing, & more that they are all creations of Thomas. People are adding in shorts characters and cartoon therapy characters because it's all by the same creator. I'm sure it's also because their fanon identities are so shallow it's easy to imagine them interacting, but that's not the main reason why it's done. It's done out of love for the other creations Thomas has.)

[jackiebrackettt]

(Major PD spoilers)

here's the summary of the beginning confrontation with Dakota if you still want it ^_^ if you want me to summarize the rest of the episode i can do that too, but it might take me a bit longer. i don't mind either way :D

☹️❤️

thank you so much!!! also you don’t have to summarise any more of the ep lol I’ll use the intrigue to try to convince myself to watch it o7 but ty for this!!! god they’re all soo… they’re a family !!!!!!

i imagine if William didn’t find out he killed cantrip things could’ve gone more along the lines of an argument over what’s “right” like we were predicting but !! I am so glad this is how it went… this is like. the good ending for them imo - like wrt the push n pull of William’s moral greyness versus dakota’s steadfast morals but willingness to go along with William this is like.. the sweet ending of that (..hopefully.. there’s still time for it to flip but I would say tthis has really shaken William..)

also: guys when they have falling trauma.. “don’t let go”/“I’ll catch you”.. the “I’m not going to run away again”.. william looking to Dakota for morality.. this!! Scene!! Has!! Everything!!

anyway between this + the bit of convo I saw that Vyncent had with William about this I am!!!! they’re so!!! they’re a family :]<3 I fucking hope it turns out okay o(-(

“I’m not going to be a hero with you. Or you, Vyncent” ☹️❤️ they r a family.. anyway wishing William the best with this arc seems like he’s going to be dealing with a lot o(-(

Every day what ifs for them becomes more and more real ✌️

[leatherbookmark]

that being said, and i'm sorry for being a cunt, but

it's... very irritating to read mxtx gushing about how utterly likeable wwx is, how cute lwj is when he's got wwx on his brain, how xy is "trash yang" (this is not from the interview but from the chapter comments), or... whatever she said about jgy... is the interview in japanese or chinese? i've seen chinese terms brought up by the translators and i just ???

it's just like. girl? are we all stupid for reading like, moral greyness, unreliable narrators, Layers into your work? her answers can sound so... idk, shallow? at times. the part abt her "feeling bad for jgy, but please go die now" stayed in my mind for obvious reasons, and now the 狡猾, because: no, wait, hold up, why? i want to hear more! you wrote this character, this antagonist who isn't even working against the protagonist, who's similar but different, whose circumstances are tragic and understandable as such, and you just go... cool motive, still villain, go die? like, seriously?

on top of that, i always wince when people describe jgy as cunning, crafty, plotting, treacherous, manipulative great actor etcetc, because it paints him as this... confident grey eminence who's got everything under control, rather than a guy who just... tries to survive... there was a post abt wwx's manipulation -- literally pissing people off into doing what he wants them to do -- but he's never called manipulative. but someone who doesn't know jgy would think his moustache is a thing straight out of uzumaki. it's like boiling xy down to an insane psycho who's so craaaazy and evil! 100% deranged! it's just incorrect. it's not even "well yes, but it's actually deeper than you think", it's just wrong.

...and then i see the author doing the same. AM I INSANE.

similarly, it's kinda strange to read her gushing about wwx and lwj, because while i understand on a technical level that People Are Different, most of the fic writers i know/have read are drawn to characters because they're fucked up, complex, tragic; they're a puzzle, a fascinating mechanism. not a great guy who's so great and amazing, seriously, who wouldn't like him. have i mentioned that he and his boyfriend are in love that's stronger than everything else in the world? like. did you... write wwx being supremely obnoxious as a teen while thinking he's the coolest guy imaginable?

there was a time when i, still in the clutches of cql wgxn, saw a couple of novel excerpts and decided i hated them. wwx was so annoying! lwj was so different and unappealing! i'm not gonna read this book, it's going to ruin the characters for me! and i mean. it kind of did, but also it didn't. and i sort of... feel this way about the word of god. like, yeah, some of that stuff is interesting, although it's not anything i'd consider invaluable or even particularly enlightening -- but mostly. it's just annoying

[v-arbellanaris]

oh God this is gonna come off sounding so hostile but I promise it's a genuine question sjfjsksks but you have a tabris that spares Loghain iirc right? how did they reconcile the whole slaver thing with finding comradery and/or loving him?

(the slavery in the alienage thing is something I usually just. make not happen in my canon because it feels like it was lazily tacked on to make the Loghain issue more "morally grey" even though it was already, (which I wouldn't put past them even in dao, did you know they straight up call genocide morally grey on the back of the disc box?) and ended up just making the situation LACK in moral greyness actually, (and it just. doesn't really ever effect anything. the only purpose it serves is making you and ultimately (TO ME PERSONALLY) it makes Loghain more of a one dimensional villain, which doesn't interest me at all. this is all a very unnecessarily long winded way of saying the way other people handle the alienage situation is interesting to me because bioware did it badly and without weight ajfhjsksjsjs)

it doesn't sound hostile at all, so i'm more than happy to assume you asked this out of good faith as well! thank you for the ask, i DON'T get to talk about kal enough (<- talking about kal constantly for the past year)!!!!

yes, kal does spare loghain. and the reasoning behind why she does it, how she comes to live with what he did, etc, is sort of the kind of stuff i am exploring in my fic.

i can definitely understand why you went down that route! and i've definitely read metas and things like that, which do make similar arguments, and i suppose i did consider whether or not to retcon it, but ultimately, i didn't because:

loghain was a villain in dao. he can, should & does villainous things; he exists as an antagonistic force;

i don't want to cheapen the strong feelings fandom has about him. he's done horrific things, that's why he's such a polarising character, and the fact he can & does many horrible things and then tries to atone for them later is part of the draw for me;

ultimately, i felt like i should keep it in because it's somewhat out of character.

by the end of origins, loghain's headspace is in a place where he can justify selling fereldans into slavery - why? how do we unpack that?

(there's another point here entirely to be made about how often bioware invokes THEY'RE A SLAVER!!!!1!!! as the most easy knee-jerk way of getting people to identify A Villain/Bad Guy/They Used To Be Evil and shut down any discussion around it, and just how insulting - and white - that kind of narrative signalling is, but that feels like another point entirely.)

to be clear: i say somewhat out of character because i don't think his prejudice against elves comes out of nowhere; it's there, in undertones, even in the stolen throne - the way he talks about the elven guy in their group in the beginning, and i personally believe, his suspicion/treatment of katriel is also related to this. he does not really consider elves ferelden the way he's ferelden, or maric is ferelden, or anora is ferelden, and it shows in this instance. (as a sidenote, i am always wondering how much of his loyalty to ferelden is entirely nationalism/patriotism and how much of it is to do with this is the thing maric cares about. this is the thing maric gave so much of himself for. this is all that's left of maric; i have to defend it at any cost. because that also has suchhhh great implications for his morality as a whole.)

so, how does kal come to terms with it? i suppose, in part, sparing loghain at all is part of her trying to come to terms with what he did, and to look past it - for herself, for anora, for the wardens and ferelden as a whole. i don't think it's an easy road for her by any stretch of the imagination, and early on, i don't think loghain's apparent lack of remorse/annoyance about the whole thing helps. i.e., when she demands remorse from him, he dismisses it as how he has bigger things to have nightmares about, as if the elven lives he's ruined are nothing in comparison to that. but he doesn't dodge accountability about it, even if he wasn't hand-delivering people to tevinter or howe was overlooking the entire project, he doesn't dodge that he was the one responsible for it.

but their relationship grows, and changes, out of necessity. loghain should be entirely willing to let kal make the sacrifice and kill the archdemon and die doing it, but he does the dark ritual, which saves her life. loghain is there for her and with her as they fight through denerim, and he's right there next to her when she kills the archdemon - she's not alone. loghain works with her, reassures her, supports her. and even then, i think she's got a very careful wall around herself, wary that he still thinks less of her.

kal ended up being a very strange mirror of loghain, in retrospect (it was entirely unintentional, i assure you); there's discomfort and shame for him, realising that he (and the human nobility at large) play the same role in her life that orlais played in his. they've both outlived their narratives, their uses and purposes, and they're both left together to try and figure out how to piece a life out of what's left. trying to apologise for what happened before won't mean anything for either of them, because it doesn't erase or fix what happened; it's already too late to make any kind of sweeping change that could be necessary for elves to show his remorse, too late to go back and change the laws to show that He's Different. her forgiveness is irrelevant because she's not even the one he wronged, not really, and in the same way he can't undo ostagar, he can't undo what he did to the alienage.

and i think ... like, in kal's canon specifically, she puts bhelen on the throne in orzammar and pushes to preserve the anvil. she fights and kills caridin. she knows bhelen will use the casteless dwarves to fight against the darkspawn; she can more or less predict exactly where the souls for the golems are going to come from. with the kind of poverty that casteless dwarves live under, any "choice" given to them about it is an illusion and frankly, a joke. but the dwarves of orzammar are not her concern. orzammar needs golems but more importantly, the grey wardens need golems. she makes the choice to preserve the anvil, knowing full well the potential & capability bhelen has to abuse it, knowing the cost. in the end, is she really any different? so she comes to reconcile it because she understands it. she hates that she does, but she understands how easy it is for right and wrong to become so muddy when you're driven by pure desperation.

idk if this answered your question? i think there's a lot of complicated factors involved, and not one easy simple moment where she goes yep! im over it! i don't even think it's a linear progress between the two of them, but it's a closeness hardwon.

[autumn-foxfire]

WHOOOO I FIGURED OUT HOW I'M GONNA EXPOSE HAWKS!!! It's supposed to be one of those fics where he gets outed and dropped by the heroes, and that leads to all sorts of chaos, but written by someone who isn't a shipper and doesn't care for Hawks joining the LoV for real lol. So I would say the first of it's kind. It was a lil hard to do because in what universe would the villains cause that sort of trouble for themselves on purpose esp when the PLF already exists at this point in time, and in what universe would the HPSC despite their moral greyness and our personal grievances against them, drop Hawks like a sack of potatoes when they need him OK so they can prevent an all out war? Easy, Dabiiiiiiii~

We've got a few funny layers to the situation. Because what happens is after employing Skeptic's help in finding Tomie, Skeptic here is 👀 about that because JACKPOT and finds the connection to the HPSC cause big ol house, occupant doesn't work, paychecks coming in from somewhere, connection to a villain, to Hawks? He hacks their database, whooo Lady Nagant huh??? But he doesn't get too far, because this is where Dabi comes in like "hey what gives, you were supposed to be the DJ to my dance party in hell" and Skeptic is all "can it wait, I found a really good scoop here" because sure, Dabi's story is good, but it really only worked because society was already uneasy, people wouldn't care enough on it's own + Dabi's main goal was to have all the blame that was bound to result from the war be directed at Endeavor because of it. Originally they wanted someone like Toga or Twice's story, but since PLF also wanted to take down heroes, Dabi's was pretty impactful too especially for taking down "the old" in society, who cling to past ideals Skeptic wants gone, which does include Endeavor and Jeanist from what we were told. So? Targeting the HPSC who are the "head" of the old order? Can we get a "hell yeah" in the chat? *insert a little something for ReDestro's sake and Skeptic never liking the League taking over or being Dabi's new phone girlfriend*

This is something strictly for the MLA's benefit, rather than Dabi's as well. It's targeting the very center of what governs hero society, that makes heroes "lawful" rather than vigilantes, exactly what they need for their "everyone is a hero, and nobody is" agenda. So Skeptic is up editing a video expose of his own, Dabi's will still be used but he's more invested in this currently, but then Dabi is like "delete that shit, it's conflicting with my story" because he was all "lmao look, we all become our fathers huh?" pitying Hawks in his video so he can pity himself "it's really no wonder since his own father was a villain!" looking all solemn and stuff to hammer in the fact "if your No.2 ended up like this because he couldn't escape the violence in his upbringing, can you imagine what that says about Endeavor? poor me, right?" and before someone reading this gets on my ass about it, Dabi is all about self-pity here, he asks Izuku too as well in 293 in response to "you aren't Endeavor!" "lmao yeah duh, but you still gotta pity me right?" so back to the story, the thing Skeptic's making is gonna make Hawks the Wrong Kind Of Victim for Dabi's needs here, it's getting off-topic from the connection he needed to make to Endeavor too. Instead of a guy who hid his name out of wanting to lie to the public about his connection to a villain, "pretending to be a hero," this is becoming "an innocent kid who had his name forcefully taken away." But the MLA love their martyr stories, as they first tried to do with Toga.

Skeptic isn't budging when this can accomplish so many of their goals for a lawless standstill, so they end up tussling for the laptop when Dabi accidentally hits the wrong key and OOP the video gets posted and they both look at each other like "well shit." And the icing on the cake is that Skeptic didn't quite get to finish what he was working on so the HPSC Expose Video only tells HALF the story, that they had Lady Nagant working as an assassin for them, her kill count, and that Hawks was her replacement, what the HPSC trained Hawks for, without the part of "since what age" it all paints him as a cold person as the HPSC's reports are all objective and detached. And Skeptic didn't get to the part where Nagant killed the former Chairman, and that's why "she's in Tartarus for killing a hero" combines with people going "HOL UP so you mean Hawks snapped like his Senpai and that's why he killed Jeanist?!" Wow! How awful! They're so alike! Citizens having a breakdown over the Wrong Kind Of Expose "Wow I Can't Believe How Ruthless Hawks Secretly Was All This Time, We Were Fooled Into Idolizing Him When He's Probably Been Plotting To Kill All Our Favorite Heroes" so they get all angry at the HPSC for Being These Kind Of People, aka "that fic moment where people think Hawks is the face of the HPSC and make him also carry all their crimes" tho it's more of a fandom moment isn't it?

So when Hawks is uh "great news! I found Shigaraki's location!" the HPSC is all *dial tone noises* because they're a lil too busy with the heat of the public, understaffed, and can't come to the phone right now because what's the best way to get Hawks desperate enough to ask the LoV for help in a way that isn't disappointing for a Hawks stan who thinks canon Hawks wouldn't give in that easily? ESPECIALLY considering who the LoV are? Can't exactly waltz up to them like "haha Twice, my man! So the truth is I'm a spy but I really like you guys so please stop killing?" Easy. Cut off his correspondence with the HPSC so he's thinking "well fudge nuggets, now what." He can get all the info the heroes need, but he can't exactly GIVE it to them, nor any other hero, he needs someone to plan the raid, organize the heroes because they'res lots of them and they can't do shit on their own without orders and the police coordinating raids. Being public enemy No.1 makes that tricky + too much info to pass onto Endeavor with another book, but not even Endeavor alone can coordinate that many heroes who are already stingy about working with each other without probable cause, they ain't gonna listen to him when they can be stealing cases off their co-workers to increase their ranking. Big PLF war who? + He can't go investigating WHICH hospital in Kyoto by the mountains here with the cameras on him, that was supposed to be the HPSC's job. So yeah, he really feels like crying right now.

So now if Hawks wants to prevent the essential doom of Japan, he needs to somehow make the villains quit from the inside. That makes him desperate enough to change tactics and this is where I'm gonna try to find a way to appeal to Twice's "gotta save my friends" nature, get some better communication between these two because canon didn't exactly let them sit down and discuss it over a pot of tea, though it's still gonna be subtle because Hawks isn't a leaky faucet with words, he's gonna try and start with worried comments about Tomura and the doctor until we get the LoV off their butts and checking in with what Ujiko is doing re: Toga. I have yet to decide what to do about Dabi lol, but I do want Tomura-Hawks' "creation" parallels to play a major role in this somehow. One thing's for sure, it's gonna be hella messy with Tomura's "I gotta destroy everything, nothing makes me happy" depression being a major rejection risk as well as a "get Hawks dusted from preventing his power-up" risk + sounding like a shifty rat there, and idk HOW Hawks is gonna appeal to him with "backstory reasons" when Hawks is…still sorting things out. But we'll figure it out!! OFA-AFO is also a major gap in intel, and it's not like Tomura isn't aware that AFO was manipulating him, he just stopped caring and thought he could overpower his Sensei's will, so heh talk about a mental exercise to figure out 🤣 the resulting conversation dialogue between them is def gonna be GOLD tho, they're just those kinds of suspenseful characters.

I really, really love this idea nonnie and I'm saying that earnestly. This sounds like a fic I would love to read because the HPSC and their role in all of this was completely shafted by Hori to focused on AFO so it's always a pleasure when fics take the time to focus on them instead and how that affects Hawks and his life.

I love the twist of Skeptic planning to use Hawks "victim" story to have the HPSC discredited (especially because the PLF could then use the "we're sooo sympathetic and stand against the rule of the HPSC and you should too" and that conflicting with Dabi's own plans (as Dabi did paint Hawks as that heartless killer in canon but with less affects because people didn't really care for the life of a villain who was going to kill them all) and that resulting in a half-truth that is posted.

I like the idea of Hawks being isolated from everyone and all of the support he once had, having to earn the trust of people by being himself and that's how he confronts the villains. Going down this route and focusing on the bonds of the LOVs (something that isn't done well in canon sadly) in order to take them down in a kill them with kindness situation is a good idea and would be a good way to demonstrate the themes Hori wants in his manga and for his heroes.

If you've gotten around to writing this, please send me the link! I'm already very intrigued and would love to read more <3 <3 <3

[m1ckeyb3rry]

FHE JUSTIN BIEBER GIF CRYINNGGGGGG LAMAOAOAOAOAO im assuming its the sae oaeu cooking rn

LMAOSOA YOUR POST trust I take all of your ramblings as rewards your brain is fr so big all of these fire ideas >>>>> ok but the pokemon au is so good…extraordinary….exquisite….remarkable (if you’ve watched as much pokemon as i have you’ll probably get this but if not just take it at face value) the Barou sibling angst is actually my fav

LMAOO YOUR MOM AND HER BROTHER THATS SO ACCURATE

ISAGIS HAIR I feel bad for his hair and his hair alone they always weirdly slick it back or comb it up and he looks like a middle aged man

IM CRYING “I cry but because I have to deal with his shit” LMFAOOO yuki fr tweaking atp or repeatedly saying his mantra in his head trying to keep his sanity like “god never gives us more than we can handle god never gives up more than we can handle god never-“

LMAAOA NO IT MAKES SENSE my brain just grouped up the letters that way that I had to double take ok so we’ve had kaneshiro possesses Mira moment and we get canon characterization of kiyora it’s time to freaky Friday reverse you should take over kaneshiro and write bllk i fr wish Karasu actually scored more literally my exact thoughts like “ARE YOU A STRIKER???” Channeling my inner ego…..but agreed glad he still at least has SOME presence and is consistently shown active in game

Bro kurona was so random…like with epinagi and s2 you can see them sneakily trying to add him in the bg cameoing to make him feel relevant but he fr was dropped out of nowhere like wdym the one who ranked fourth in second selection who we’ve never even seen a glimpse of and didn’t do anything in u20 is suddenly good friends with Isagi and others and gets field time HUH his first appearance is quite literally in BM when he’s holding the iPad showing Isagi Kunigami new stats (yk it’s bad when I rmr this info off the top of my head) something about the wording “using religion and blindness” has me laughing so hard LMAOOOO it’s giving that one meme “I’ve got the power of god and anime on my side” except it’s god and optic neuropathy UAHSHSHA ok but on a serious note that fr would go so hard like let’s expand on his character please….id honestly love to see more of him as he was shown in the LN because nel yuki is SO diff than what he actually seems to be based off the LN but anyways…

Kunigami being the main rival makes sm sense tbh when I first read I thought he WAS going to be the main rival but no it’s Kaiser ig….wait the morally greyness of wildcard being discussed would fr be so interesting…..guys….also ness is one of my least fav characters tbh so slander him all you want LMAOO gotta agree w some dudebros he’s fr a Kaiser glazer you’re fr cooking though….we gotta get you in touch with kaneshiro asap

LMAO REAL I also (clearly) enjoy bllk quite a bit but yes many things to be improved…sometimes I think to myself if only I was an Isagi Rin or Kaiser stan I’d be having the time of my life but alas we cannot be MEDIOCRE

Wait the terminally ill route fits his character fr….where he’d be unwilling to tell his family about it because he wants to strive to be the best despite it and won’t settle for a comfy life…I can also see him getting murdered though LOL either way I’m sure it’ll be good (even though he’s dying oops)

Yeah I lowk forgot people who have such audacity exist the Tullia hate kinda insane and just generally when people comment “he’s mine [chafacter] better get away from my man” ICK imagine in the tags you just put every reader pairing possible as a jic disclaimer like “reader and Tullia talk to men so beware!”

I always found the rival characters so funny like why are you jumping me when I’m trying to get to the next city no I don’t wanna battle you rn LMAOO it’s funny in how like every version you end up teaming up and double battling the villain team somehow but the way they come and go was always so funny to me

When you first said may I thought you meant May from pokemon but now I realize…anyways love Tullia sooo glad to have her alive!!

LMAOOOO Lowk I had a subconscious thought like galvanthla interesting choice (i personally collected joltiks bc they looked cute LMFAO) Isagi the most basic of basics so an all basic team is perfect for him LOL I mean hey you gotta have an op basic pokemon somewhere right I already consider infernape relatively more niche amongst most popular pokemon too LOL

Otoya using his pokemon as chick magnets is so real LMAOO I wanna analyze the breloom yuki vibe like why does it work so well

Nagi fr got the short end of the stick omg LMAOO ofc it had to be a fire type too for once thank you reo for spoiling him HSHSH

SHSHSBD THATS TOO CUTE I bet chigiri would take sm time grooming and caring for his rapidash too (in line with what we talked about for his hair and skin LOL) sometimes I forget you make money from battling LMAOOO like yeah I just beat your pokemon up now hand me my check

REAL BUT LMAOOO the light blue team never fails for him honestly when in doubt just match the hair color I can definitely see him genuinely having an aurorus and ice types though maybe he’s like (I like them calm and cold unlike my parents) hiori running a fossil pokemon conservation wait id never thought of that that’s also so real….atp this should just be an expanded universe that exists time to world build (on that note imagine Aryu grooms and styles pokemon for coordinators and especially furfrou, I forgot exact which gen you were into pkmn until oops I’ll elaborate if you didn’t get to kalos/xyz)

LMAOOOOO i was already linking up aiku and Brock the moment you brought him in lowk that interaction set up you have is so pkmn verse coded its great

I SECOND THAT if no other inspo comes out lowk pokemon au….guys…..also Noel noa being the actual champion while reos dad just holds the title is actually such an interesting dynamic and would work so well

SHSHS sounds like you’ve got it all down still praying for your safety though all those experiences in one lifetime is crazy

HAHAHA I LOVE THE CHATTER reading the convo responses brings me just as much joy as reading ur actual fics im always down for yap sessions

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO that’s just me irl tbh like i hope that’s what you picture when you think of me 🤩 surprisingly it wasn’t in reference to the oaeu!! someone had just posted that they wished there were more otoya fics because they’ve read all of them already and i was like “just working…working hard to please you” because i am an occasional otoya writer for sure

OMG MR REMARKABLE (i forget if he had an actual name KFNSJSN my brother and i always just called him mr remarkable he’s like that elderly man who has a tv show or smth right??) and HAHA tyyyy 🥹

maybe they do it like that to distinguish him from rin or smth?? idk but it’s specifically only isagi who gets the horrendous hairdos they don’t give ANYONE else that treatment 😭 i fr feel bad for the guy even though idgaf abt him…

bllk karasu’s like “can we switch places” because a universe where otoya’s not as much of a dumbass AND he has the chance to rizz up reader is the universe for him (he def is so pressed that hollyhock karasu never made any moves LMAOOO “wdym you lost her to OTOYA” and hollyhock karasu is like “i never wanted her in the first place 🤔” so bllk karasu is like “WHAT”)

HAHAHA possessed by kaneshiro fr i felt his energy flowing through me in that moment 😭 someone needs to get me on the phone with him like idk much about soccer BUT i can definitely cook in terms of characters and plot!!

I REMEMBER WHEN KURONA FIRST SHOWED UP I HAD TO REREAD THE CHAPTER BECAUSE I THOUGHT I JUST MISSED HIS INTRODUCTION 😭 agreed there’s such a discrepancy between ln/third selection/u20 yukimiya and nel yukimiya!! especially with that rlly cool panel of him in the u20 game where they’re like “his style of soccer is street soccer 😰⁉️” and he looks gorgeous af i was looking forward to more elaboration on that!! like really showing how he plays differently compared to the other players (maybe giving him some special weapon because of that kinda like metavision) it also could’ve been a really cool point of connection between him and kaiser given that both of them kind of learned how to play soccer in unconventional ways…but alas…here we are

NO BECAUSE KUNIGAMI VS ISAGI RIVALRY COULD’VE BEEN SO GOOD it would’ve built up the hype for kuni sm more and him feel much more relevant imo!! honestly along with wanting to know what wc is all about i’ve always wanted to know noel noa’s reaction to it…like his biggest rival from the past has destroyed this child’s body and life and future in order to make a copy of him THAT’S LEGIT INSANE??? kaneshiro could’ve given us such a scrumptious kuni and noa dynamic and then he just didn’t 😭

honestly i think one of the main problems w bllk is that kaneshiro is spreading the cast too thin and making people care about too many characters but it’s impossible to effectively manage such a huge cast given the premise of the story and still have emotional impact when stuff happens to them and that also means that characters aside from the protagonist aren’t given a ton of fleshing out (this is relatively common in shounen sadly…jjk had a similar issue but almost to the next level) where by focusing on lesser characters and just giving them insane depth the story would’ve felt much stronger ☝🏻 like realistically there’s 0 reason for kurona to exist in nel when reo (as per our earlier convos) or yukimiya could’ve easily taken that role and had their characters developed much more!! kiyora could also have been replaced with yukimiya (as much as i love him) and tbh?? get sendou out of ubers and focus more on aryu (how’d he go from number 2 in scoring goals to a defensive player?? flesh him out more instead of sendou literally nobody cares abt him…hot take but only memorable u20 players were aiku sae and shidou the rest did not need to be there), get rid of tokimitsu entirely (show how his nervous personality doesn’t jive with egoism) and give zantetsu + karasu more opportunities to shine in pxg (honestly if they wanted to keep the cutthroat feel of second selection then get rid of nanase too and show how kindness doesn’t cut it in bllk where you need to be insane; that way the cast is still large but these characters aren’t fighting for a main spot they’re more naruhaya-esque) 😰 and another hot take but they should’ve saved all of the other ng11s besides sae until the world cup arc (so no kaiser and lorenzo in nel) to really build the hype and stakes of the wc because rn it’s like…ok the bllkers have already managed to beat lorenzo and the whole kaisagi rivalry is going on so the ng11s don’t feel as threatening?? whereas they could’ve been a really cool obstacle in the wc and would’ve provided a baddie of the week feel and higher stakes without it being boring or random since they’ve been so foreshadowed already with sae

i agree i rlly like the terminally ill aspect it also explains why his pokémon are willing to go along with his possessed body (they’re not able to accept that he’s gone) as well as why isagi knows so much without him being a villain…it’s also just sad to think about like he didn’t want his family to worry about him but he wanted to accomplish his goals so he just pushed forward until he literally couldn’t anymore 😭 also now i’m realizing lowkey kunigami would fit better in barou’s role (given the whole canonical wildcard thing being similar to the possession) however idc because i like barou more

yeahhh unfortunately fandom people can be a little weird to say the least and especially now that i have a decent amt of followers i know there are going to be interesting individuals in my comments so it’s not even worth it to not tag…okay but hear me out i wasn’t even thinking about this when i assigned teams (nagi got his team based on cuddly fluffy vibes and barou got his team as all dark types because of his “villain king” thing and reader was forced to have one of the same pokémon as him for the sibling theme…of barou’s team i liked houndoom the most so that’s what reader got) BUT the parallels between nagi’s starter being arcanine and reader’s being houndoom kinda go crazy?? like they both have huge fiery dogs but as per the pokédex arcanine symbolizes loyalty justice protection etc and houndoom is like death hell horror and whatnot 😭 however as we know nagi’s aura is death and reader’s character’s main theme is love (for barou, for her pokémon, etc) so narratively nagi x reader would be so good…especially if they’re each other’s “rivals” but they’re not really rivals and half of the time are helping each other out…there’s a vision here and it’s cooking imo 🤩 ALSO i’m thinking…hear me out…karasu reminds reader of barou so he becomes like her surrogate older brother while they’re searching for barou and reader is the annoying little sibling karasu never had which makes him respect yayoi more and teaches him responsibility and maturity which in turn makes yayoi finally respect him too 🤔

honestly galvantula is such a random pokémon but realistically in terms of type matchups it’s absolutely CARRYING reader against barou’s team considering dark is weak to bug 😭 honestly it’s such a cool little pokémon i think it’s so fun for her to have it on her team!! and the gyarados plot line is going to be so entertaining (basically she gets scammed into trading a freshly caught pokémon for a magikarp and shenanigans ensue) that i think the basicness is excusable

otoya constantly getting girls via his fairy type pokémon vs reader and tullia being like “ladies STAY AWAY” who wins 😭⁉️ and agreed breloom + yuki goes so hard…tbh i rlly like steelix and yuki too it works surprisingly well

no literally justice for nagi 😭 the way the government did NOT gaf abt him is crazy like they could’ve at least given him a water type (although tbf he’s meant to show how the pokémon training system takes advantage of people so it makes sense) honestly though i love his character in this au he goes through sm development and his slowburn w the reader will be legendary fr

YOU KNOWWWW chigiri’s rapidash is SPARKLING he def takes such meticulous care of all of his pokémon (same w reo) whereas nagi’s just like eh as long as they’re healthy 😄 KFNJSSB so like manshine trio will be chilling and in their downtime reo will be brushing his cinccino and chigiri will be polishing his rapidash’s hooves meanwhile nagi’s arcanine is rolling in a pile of mud somewhere having the time of its life

hiori and ice types just go so well together (even though he only has one on his team I think 😭) and agreed i can see him retiring from battling after his arc w reader and co and following his actual passion of helping endangered pokémon instead of listening to his parents (maybe karasu inspires him because he also stood up to his family [yayoi] and that gives hiori the courage to do the same)

gen six is where i left off!! i played gen seven (namely moon and a bit of ultra moon) but i didn’t like them that much so as far as i and this au are concerned the pokémon verse ended with xy/oras 🤩 omg wait aryu as a pokémon groomer slays…maybe he’s the one yuki takes his pokémon to before contests?? and perhaps the itoshi bros are mentioned in passing as gym leaders in another region…kaiser as noel noa’s apprentice who’s going to be a new e4 member like isagi (but a bitchier one who never knew barou and never directly interacts with reader) and same with bachira + kunigami (kaiser to replace noel noa, bachira to replace lavinho, kunigami to replace chris prince, and isagi to replace snuffy) there’s just so many different roles that characters can play!! the world building would be so fun

LMAOO honestly aiku trying to be the rizzler but getting cock blocked by big bros otoya and karasu is so funny to me 😭 also speaking of brock link ups since we know karasu and reader are like a sibling duo i’m imagining otoya and tullia to have that brock and croagunk dynamic where she just punches him whenever he flirts with girls because he’s so cringe it’s embarrassing 😰 speaking of tullia atm i’m think she’ll likely end up with either chigiri (since he’ll probably pull up quite frequently as a nagi companion so there’s ample time for development), isagi (since he’s a classic tullia pairing and all), or maybe even hiori?? like her and hiori really hit it off and after the main story is over instead of becoming a show/competition breeder like she planned she decides to go back to his nature preserve and help in breeding for species conservation or something 🤔 many many options fr

NO BECAUSE LISTEN THE TIK TOK AUDIOS ARE BURSTING WITH POTENTIAL FOR THE POKÉMON AU i’m getting soooo many ideas for the story now!! like the entire gyarados arc, the aegislash arc (this one goes crazy because it’s basically “reader and nagi somehow end up in a period drama for an entire arc” yet it makes perfect sense given the pokémon verse and the backstory), EVERYTHING with barou especially the final fight between the cousins (i’ve decided they’ll be cousins but as close as siblings!! so y/n’s mother is barou’s father’s sister and her houndoom is barou’s houndoom’s sister so it’s like three generations of brother/sister-esque bonds making up the story), the random evil team encounters…i’m sure you saw but i put requests on hold for a few reasons: so i can finish the ones i have, work on the oaeu, AND also start this story hopefully!! also i want to deny people from requesting for a bit so the hype is built for my 1k event whenever we reach that milestone FJDJSJSJ

LMAOOO the craziest thing is that’s not even scratching the surface unfortunately i have had many insane experiences with men i’m sure you’ll hear about more whenever they’re relevant to the convo 😭 and YESSS i love chatting w you hehe always a little rush of dopamine when i see the little “anonymous asked you a question” notification on my phone (when tumblr isn’t an OPP and actually gives the me the notifs) 🥹

[zeon-twilight]

Perpetual Exhaustion

It feels as if so many people I know have come under a blanket of exhaustion which brings out the worst in them. I can hardly blame anyone for not being their best selves in a world that is indeed demanding to the point of being overwhelming. I've found that I don't know what to do with that energy anymore. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I tend to transmute that energy into action. Often semi-related action, tangential if you will. If someone is stressed about the environment, I will try to clean it, if they are stressed about money I will try to make some, if someone is worried I might offer advice. Even this blog is an attempt for me to turn nervous mental energy into something else, something outside of me. But I'm not sure what to do when a person is filled with a misery they have no inclination of what to do with. When someone is filled with a frustration which is deeper than the one which they gave voice to. Often it seems it is the turbulence within which eventually is placed into something else as a means of externalizing the feeling. That addressing the externalized source of frustration is ineffective, because if one is struggling with a deeper frustration, the root is still there, and it will simply grow out another weed of frustration and another, each thing complained of also not REALLY what is going on.

Perhaps the scary thing is how many things "REALLY" going on are outside of our control, or even influence. Any given person may find themselves distressed about all manner of struggles both real an imagined. One may work themselves into a frenzy over a problem that another person could resolve within minutes stress free. There's a message in here somewhere about the beauty of the variety of skills which exist and how we should be working to aid each other with the skills we excel at, and working to get past our shortcomings, but it is often lost in the haze of "I'm too tired" The things we know we should do, because they are right, or at least in line with our moral code are often tested by this metric. I suppose morals aren't really morals if you compromise them when they are inconvenient to you, so in this too one can learn a great deal about themselves and others. It's not as if I'm not tired, I'm deeply exhausted myself. Worn out by the world, worn out by disappointments and guilt. Worn out by losing many of the things which were once restorative to me. Worn out by a persistent sense of "Oh god, is this it? Is this all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?" I try to resist that line of thinking personally. I've found it really doesn't lead anywhere but to more misery, and that my energy is much better spent trying to at least address the superficial grievances of those around me, in the hopes that maybe with time the deeper ones will be visible. I can't help but wonder about a solution to this, as it seems if someone is determined to see the world as a difficult place and all the things which come up that aren't to plan as a problem, there can't be much in the way of joy for them. As I get older, it's harder to endure the joylessness of the world, and I miss the joy that used to be a part of many who I fear have lost sight of it. Perhaps even more I fear losing sight of joy myself, even as I have usually been able to rally and meet the struggles of my life head on, there's a greyness to my emotions which I have been struggling with for some time now. A sense that I am not as present as I once was, and I cannot deny it, but I do try and resist it. Suppose there's not much to be done but to try our best and hope that it gets us through another day, and that perhaps tomorrow will be brighter. In the meantime, I think it's very important to try and find the things which bring you some measure of joy in this world. There's plenty that must been endured, no avoiding it. But we must find that which makes it worth enduring, or spend a great deal of time and energy trying to recover through practices that do not serve us. I hope you find what makes you feel rested, Who/What/When/Where-Ever you are. ZT

[larebiscornue]

AYO??? Heavy season 4 spoilers discussion under the cut

Sooo that blogpost about eva's past mentioning her living as a kid with her mother, father and Cleophée, and then getting sent to train as a sadida bodyguard, with no indications of her and cleo not necessarily having a tough family life.. (and unrelated I think the dad? rode a dragodinde. Sorry I had no clue where to write this vital fact)

Are now effectively obsolete.

I wonder if the rest of blog stories (such as that about az having a lil adventure before even hatching, or getting the closest to a kind of a rough estimate of armand's age (afaik) as he was a teen when amalia was a young kid (also their mother's spirit watched over them thanks to the tree of life I think?. That was so sweet :'( ) are obsolete too.. I don't think they necessarily need to be.

I'm watching the toross episode, and while I am obviously sad the cra sisters had this sad background, part of me is kinda glad cause while happy, the little blog perfect family was a bit underwhelming when compared to.. everybody else's family quirks

It seems all guilde des murmurs members were family but not all were cras (or at least they were rare not bow using cras which would be neat) which does make sense worldbuilding-wise.

HOOO THE SADIDA KING BEING ONE OF THEIR MOST LOYAL CLIENTS THOUGH OGHHHH GASP. I thought he was fully "good" but this adds a new depth and moral greyness to the king, as many krosmoz esp royals do in the franchise which is an exciting addition! Now I'm not saying he's like. Secretly evil, but instead of an always good-presented king, it's heavily implied he hired assassins against his enemies. VERY frequently at that. We don't know if his enemies were truly evil but still this is quite a surprise and layer! IF AMALIA N ARMAND LEARN ABOUT THIS I WILL LOSE IT... Dunno if the queen was a part of this, she was more laissez-faire on royalty stuff. Not that means she was a BAD queen, as far as we know for now she was good and loved, but much as her daughter, she loved to sneak and go on adventures. Maybe the king stopped his merc-hiring thing time ago and repented about it, he changed his ways, but, yeah this adds more depth and a twist.

Did the king always plan having eva as a bodyguard for amalia since he might have guessed she had a great potential as per her kin does? I don't necessarily think so, again, not going on the EEEVIL KING REAL tirade. For now we have no proof. Eva seemed to regard the sheram sharm family well. I wanna think the reason why madagaskane chose the king wasn't fully out of his loyal client or king status, but because he supposed he could be caring.

Of course if you wanna go gritty you can imagine eva getting picked as a bodyguard was deliberate, that the slightly older, talented with the bow kid was a good helping hand for the king's youngest child. Armand probably had his own bodyguard(s). And this could help build loyalty to the princess but... Too cynical for me, really.

Wonder if, going by this though, cleo not getting picked was cause of her less standing talent compared to eva or her being more childish n clashing w amalia. Idk. That's my last addendum.

Also I'm sooo glad they explained why eva and cleo have always had this extraordinary bow talent even for a cra. Don't get me wrong I'm the biggest hater of "oh there was not any hard job only magical talent" situations, but, aside from talent not being equal amongst the sisters, I feel it's a question of hard work. We can see it imo in Evas training ethic with Flopin. She has always tried to teach him hardwork.

So, I believe Eva is quite talented, perhaps even quite talented for a regular guilde des murmurs relative's standards, but she for sure has and keeps quite working on her abilities too

[katyspersonal]

OP, I am very impressed with how keen your understanding of both the way Soulsborne stories work (especially the phrase "And not choosing to get what you want can be as bad as choosing opposite.") and of the way fandom is fucking shit up on regular basis. Dark Souls trilogy fandom is the most safe from this cancer, Bloodborne is quite deep into this trouble by now (with only fans of very messed up characters such as Alfred or Micolash doing the service to the community xd) and Elden Ring is ALL about this.

"This leads to something like Marika fans writing essays on the topic You Can In Fact Deserve Genocide"

This reminded me of a very annoying situation from a couple of months ago where my friend wrote very based post ( x ) about how fandom treats Hornsent as this evil race that is evil just to be evil thus painting Marika as a hero "cleansing" the world from this "filth". And what happened was EXACTLY what you've mentioned! The first reblogger jumped in to not only excuse genocide of Hornsent but also add excusing genocide of Fire Giants for the good measure, the popular artist jumped in to confirm all of that was based when they didn't even read the original post, and then they both continued to gloat in their blog about how ridiculous this "Marika hate" was.

Marika HATE, dude. How. Literally how this fandom always, always, ALWAYS keeps drawing the connection of 'pointing out bad shit character did = hating the character'? Before DLC, the similar problem happened with Mohg! Whoever painted him as sexual offender was viewed as just hater by his fans. Also before DLC, whoever pointed out pettiness of Malenia or Miquella's sinister traits (Bewitching Branch) was seen as just hater. It only got worse after the DLC too! These are just interpretations and analyses! ....And yet, at the same time, there ARE people who hate Marika, hate Miquella and Malenia, and hated sa!Mohg interpretation. And they hate not only the characters, but also their fans. As if these fans just subscribed to condoning any of that shit in real life.

I just think that this endless morality contest is so dumb. Like...

"Oh if you like Godrick/Rykard/Post-DLC Miquella / Seluvis then you’re moral pervert/ lover of Dark."

Like, where are the DOWNsides? xD /j

And seriously, what is the goddamn POINT of engaging with fiction, where any person and any dynamic can be examined within the safety of fantasy, if ALL you're gonna do with this is to just express how you would act in real world? There is a much, MUCH better place to apply opinions and morality as you would in real world. ....IT IS THE REAL WORLD! 🤦‍♂️ Go outside and form correct opinions, and only like good people. This IS what real world is FOR! Fictional world is for doing ANYTHING, and yet you choose to just re-simulate what you already have!!! How little imagination, curiousity, wonder and passion do you have? What is WRONG with you, people!

Really. Elden Ring fandom's creativity and imagination suffers very badly from the fact that when someone simps for a morally grey character or is just a huge fan, 90% chance that they will wash out all that moral greyness from them and make sure they're pure, innocent, and always in the right. Who cares if the story has to become so one-dimensional and pointless as 'race is evil just to be evil and exterminating them is net-positive for the world', right, Marika and Messmer fans? And when you can't distort the story this way, you can always just declare writers to be incompetent and ruining the character and insist on """pre-DLC portrayal""" as if it was an entirely different character, right, Miquella and Malenia fans?

All could have been way more fun, interesting, deep, developed, and above all, respectful to OTHER fans, had we as a fandom just abandoned the mentality of 'if you like a character that did something bad then YOU are bad, so nullify this bad thing at all cost if you want to prove you are NOT bad'.

I think we really should understand that engaging with fiction is NOT about translating and advertising ourselves as people! No, as PRODUCTS!! Purge that stupid corporative brainrot out of your system with Messmer's Flame!!! Engaging with fiction is about experiment, imagination, curiosity, creativity and extending emotions and wishes without any harm to real people! Well, we should ALSO understand that the more war crimes the character did the hotter they are because again, we ALREADY have real world to target liking the kind, nice people so what is the point of doing the SAME shit here fsdfhds But I digress

Ok about moral greyness in elden ring fandom

I feel like it’s mostly treated as either some kind of badass cosmetics for a GoodGuy (like “my blorbo is cool and good and kind but you know they kill people - bad people, so it’s not bad but it’s not also your Jesus guy which is normal bc who would give their second cheek”) or some kind of euphemism used by bad/problematic/pseudo intellectual people to erase morality

I’m bad problematic pseudo intellectual person so take my opinion with grain of salt, but I think it’s a great misunderstanding or what a morally grey character is in ER especially

It’s usually based on the that understanding of goodness that to be good you just need to do good things and don’t do bad things (which is of course extremely vague and not defined but anyways). It’s seems pretty straightforward and because of that brings a lot of confusion

It’s quite easy for a character to be GoodGood (even with murders but I digress), you can see it in many fix-it fanworks where often every trouble finds its own, well, fixing, and there’s always a way to set things right, maybe just with some sad deaths along the way, but characters often will find this correct way because in these universes there’s always at least one

(It’s not a rant on fanfiction I like it and I like fix-its very VERY much)

And when same logic is applied to the game itself, often arises treatment of characters as GoodGood, MisleadedGood and BadBad ones

But in the stories we see in Elden Ring context is usually such that when a character wants to get something, even something good, like for example make people live forever or cure their own sister, there’s sometimes no way of resolving their trouble without facing some kind of moral choice, even if you’re a literal half-god. You either get what you want with a price, or don’t get it… also with a price. Because fromsoftware stories are build on conflict, tragedy and irony

That’s what makes character grey, the fact there’s no third option or that you don’t have third option just because world is that way and you’re unlucky. And not choosing to get what you want can be as bad as choosing opposite. And that’s what usually makes situation complex and twisted and inherently grey

I don’t want to say that like every person in fandom should treat all the characters as mostly good ones without making some way less sympathetic than others. Making characters twisted and horrible is fun! I’m just tired of the way how people 1) don’t realise there’s often HUGE room for interpretation and make it problem of others 2) hate characters with such a passion as they were real humans who live in your neighbourhood on planet earth 2024 3) sanitise characters into strictly Good and Bad ones etc etc etc

My whole vent on Miquella’s hatebase is in fact divided into two parts, one being me thinking many people just lack understanding of the DLC/base game ideas and plot, but that’s ok we all have different opinions (I’m just the only one who is correct. LIVE WITH THAT.), and second being that vague ??rudeness?? and hatred which accompanies division on Morally Good and Morally Bad, because there’s this subtle idea like. Oh if you like Godrick/Rykard/Post-DLC Miquella / Seluvis then you’re moral pervert/ lover of Dark. Which is rarely true and really annoys me

I also have no trouble with GoodGood characters being GoodGood because, well. it’s comforting and cozy stuff. But often it turns into token of moral superiority, like look I love GoodGood guy because I’m good too and also not stupid. This is also annoying and I wish we had less of this in fandom.

It’s often also a lie to oneself, because even if we approach elden ring from I Can Simp Only Morally Pure ones (which is very boring and butchers the whole thing in my opinion) then we would probably be left with only Boc, Hewg and maybe Roderika. What do you mean you want to simp LITERAL murderers?? What do you mean you want to simp those assholes demigods who think that people are just dolls for their games, who turned the land into land of the dead because they just couldn’t stop war after war after war to decide who will make new order? What do you mean you want to simp the demigod who quit the war to do literally nothing to stop it???? CRINGE

Also GoodGood character headcanon making without self-awareness often results in very weird moral twists of its own, because in this logic character is allowed to make only GoodGood decisions, therefore all the stuff character made in canon MUST be good and morally justified. This leads to something like Marika fans writing essays on the topic You Can In Fact Deserve Genocide

Enough for today have a good day fellow dlc lovers 💪

Upd posted this on main by accident got jumpscared it’s so hard to copy past on mobile for some reason. No edgy on main I promised!!

[yngai]

as much as i adore plague doctor/monster hunter ada wong & her unused design (& have tried to fit her within the game’s narrative & general timeline), the role of a mysterious helping hand guiding ethan through the events of RE8 would be much better served by mia, hell, the game would be benefit greatly with her in the leading role,