#Wonderful food. wonderful sign. 10/10

[moose-driving]

Armenia sign

[winwintea]

underneath the tree

PAIRING ↬ co-worker!lee jeno x female!reader (ft. bm from kard, ningning from aespa, yeri from red velvet, julie from kiof, mu from epex)

GENRES ↬ social media au (smau), fluff, romance, some angst, very fun no tricks i promise okay (im very serious pls trust me yall)

WARNINGS ↬ profanity, alcohol/drug consumption, sexual jokes, sexual content, (nothing explicitly written out) maybe some stalking but it’s okay it’s jeno, i probably have a love actually obsession, bm is a questionable(?) boss, jackson wang is here to throw a party

SUMMARY ↬ you’ve heard enough of the word ‘christmas’ and it was only the beginning of december! sometimes you’d wish people would just throw their cheerfulness out the window and focus on reality. unfortunately for you lee jeno has just drawn your name for the company’s annual secret santa swinter swap and he’s going to make sure you get a gift you’ll never forget. (and maybe even get you to appreciate christmas along the way?)

UPDATE SCHEDULE ↬ everyday starting the first of december! merry christmas!

TAG LIST ↬ OPEN at the bottom (send me an ask or request here if you’d like to be added! + those tagged will be in the tag list of all chapters of this series!)

PLAYLIST ↬ here!

AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ it’s tiiiimeee! been working on this for ages… planning since like july (i’m just a girl…) very very very inspired by love actually. jeno is a self insert atp???? i love christmas too much??? movies??? songs?? food???? drinks?? sign me up i need jackson wang to throw me a party rn. thank u to everyone who helped when i was stuck with ideas 🙏 yall are the best <33

the chorus groups:

one | two

carols:

track. 01 ↬ white winter hymnal

track. 02 ↬ we need a little christmas

track. 03 ↬ it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

track. 04 ↬ jingle bell rock

track. 05 ↬ sleigh ride

track. 06 ↬ winter wonderland

track. 07 ↬ the first snow

track. 08 ↬ be there for me

track. 09 ↬ run rudolph run

track. 10 ↬ the polar express

track. 11 ↬ christmas don't be late

track. 12 ↬ all i want for christmas is you

track. 13 ↬ snowman

track. 14 ↬ christmas time is here

track. 15 ↬ mary, did you know?

track. 16 ↬ love actually

track. 17 ↬ a nonsense christmas

track. 18 ↬ officially christmas

track. 19 ↬ do they know it's christmas?

track. 20 ↬ christmas time is here

track. 21 ↬ wonderful christmastime

track. 22 ↬ carol of the bells

track. 23 ↬ believe

track. 24 ↬ snow dream

track. 25 ↬ christmas is all around

track. 26 ↬ underneath the tree

track. 27 ↬ christmas canon

track. 28 ↬ ???

[vampirekiramman]

GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL | caitlyn kiramman

synopsis: caitlyn catches you watching her sleep in the early hours of the morning, red-faced and red-handed.

details: caitlyn x fem!reader | fluff, established relationship, morning cuddles, and gentle sleepy kisses

word count: 1.5k words

a/n: i’ve always headcanoned that caitlyn would be an early bird. she most definitely gets up at the crack of dawn and gets right down to business in my mind, so this is based heavily on that!! if you’re a night owl, this one’s for you hehe

You’ve been planning this for weeks.

You love waking up next to Caitlyn every morning. Usually, she’s already up, dressed, and working in bed next to you by the time your body pulls you out of sleep, and you catch her smiling at you and stroking your hair with her free hand just as you gain consciousness. Sometimes, though more rarely, you’ll flutter your eyes open at the exact time and just smile at each other, pulling each other in close and lying intertwined before you have to start the day.

Once, and only once, did you wake up before her. You had just had a bad dream and jolted awake in your bed, sitting up to catch your breath. To your left, Caitlyn stirred at the movement, letting out a little groan before settling back down into the pillows beneath her. For a moment, you considered waking her up to comfort you. But the moonlight streamed in through the windows and hit her face just right, illuminating the soft curve of her lips and sharp edges of her nose. You realized then that you had never seen her sleep before. You went to bed at the same time each night, but she was always up first.

So, you fell back down into the mattress and laid on your side, facing her. You took in the way that her eyelashes rested on her high, sharp cheekbones, how her lips were slightly parted as she inhaled and exhaled slowly and rhythmically. During the day, she was always busy with something, always taking care of someone, always moving and always worrying. While she slept, she looked so peaceful. Her eyebrows were relaxed and unfurled, jaw unclenched. You touched her cheek and felt her nuzzle into it instinctively. This was Caitlyn in her purest form, and it was the most perfect thing you had ever seen.

You wanted to see it again. Every night for many nights, you went to bed hoping that your body would wake you before hers did again. And every night for many nights, she woke up long before you like she usually did.

It was over breakfast one morning that you decided to ask, “What time do you usually get up? You’re always up so early.”

She finished chewing her food and swallowed before she answered. Always so polite.

“Well, it depends, but usually I’m awake by five. Sometimes four if I need to get some work done,” she said.

You nearly spit out your coffee.

“Four? As in four in the morning?” you said, incredulously.

Even more incredulously, she said, “Well, certainly not in the afternoon.”

You laughed together over your breakfast, but, inside, you were already crafting a plan. It would be difficult, you realized, but it would be worth it. You never were an early riser, always getting up around 9 or 10 o’clock. Waking up at 4, maybe even 3 o’clock, would be no easy feat for you.

Which is probably why it took you so long to do it.

For the past few weeks, you went to bed earlier and earlier, slowly altering your internal clock by a couple more minutes each night. First, you started waking up at 8, then at 7, and so on until you finally woke up one morning, rolled over to check the clock on your nightstand, and saw it read: 3:55am. Your plan had worked.

You glanced over your left shoulder and saw Caitlyn, still in bed and still fast asleep, no signs of stirring or extra-early rising in sight. Quietly, you inched closer to her face and, for a moment, you just stared. She looked to be deep in REM, her eyes twitching beneath her shut lids. You wondered what she was dreaming about. Were her dreams pleasant? Did she ever dream of you?

You imagined her taking a day off in her dreams, something she rarely did when she was awake. Maybe she would allow herself to wake up later, even later than you, giving you a chance to finally rush into the kitchen and make her breakfast in bed like you've always wanted. You'd walk into your shared bedroom with a silver serving tray carrying all her favorite foods: Crepes with blueberries, rosemary and thyme egg frittata, and lemon ginger tea. You would extend your morning together well into the afternoon, posted up in bed together without a care in the world just for one day.

But, then, maybe that was your dream more than it was Caitlyn's.

You watched her whole body rise and fall as she breathed. You studied the way her body moved with her breath. Her features almost seemed to soften with each exhale. Slowly, you lifted your hand to her face and pushed a strand of navy blue hair behind her ear so you could get a better look.

You let your fingers run through her hair, then traced them down the side of her face and jaw, noting every detail of her outline. Her skin was so soft. You remembered, then, when you first met and she sent you a gift basket of skincare to apply, writing in a note that it was all imported straight from Ionia, and that her father had actually been the one who started her on her own skincare routine when she was a teenager. You used those products every day, thinking of Caitlyn with every serum and cream you applied. You never did get your skin to be quite as soft as hers.

You looked a little ways over her shoulder and saw a number of half-empty creams sitting on her bedside table that she applied nightly. One for her face, one for her elbows, and one for her hands. You smiled and traced your fingers down her arm, feeling every inch of skin. Despite her best efforts, her hands were still calloused from carrying her gun around all day. You didn't care. You grasped her hand in yours anyway.

Just then, you felt her squeeze your hand a little bit too tightly for a sleeping person. Your eyes shot up and met hers, which were very much open. You felt your face grow hot.

"Good morning, beautiful," she said, groggily, "Watching me sleep, are we?"

"N-No," you stammered, "I just got up a little early, that's all."

She looked over your shoulder and at the clock behind you. It now read 4:15am.

"Very early, it seems," she commented with a smirk.

Shit. She caught you. Your first instinct was to duck your face under the covers, hiding the obvious blush on your cheeks. Then, you remembered it was so dark that she probably wouldn't have seen it anyways, but it was too late now. You had to commit.

You feigned a yawn and said, "Is it? Well, I'm going back to bed. 'Night."

"Not so fast," she said, pulling the covers off of the both of you. She slipped her hands into the pockets of your pajama pants and pulled you in close enough for your bodies to press right up against each other's. She slid her hands up your waist, sides, and arms, until she could cup your face in them.

If you weren't red before, you certainly were now.

"You think I didn't notice you getting up earlier and earlier lately?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

You buried your face in the crook of her neck, embarrassed and flustered like you never have been before. Of course she would notice. Most days, she had to fight you just to get you awake.

"How long have you known?" you groaned into her neck.

"From the start," she said. You could feel her smiling against your ear as she spoke, "I didn't know why, but now I do. You thought you were being sneaky, weren't you?"

You sat there for a moment, debating how to answer. Eventually, you just nodded, hesitantly and shamefully.

You heard her laugh as she pulled you in tighter. She reached for your face again and guided it away from her neck, forcing you to look at her. You could barely meet her gaze, but, when you did, she just looked... Happy.

"I have to admit, you've beaten me at my own game. I've been having all the fun watching you sleep this whole time."

Your eyebrows shot up.

"Really?" you asked.

"Of course," she giggled, "You didn't think I actually needed to be up at five o'clock every morning, did you?"

You felt the embarrassment come back, this time at the fact that you had failed to catch on to her own sneaking around. She always was more perceptive than you.

"Jerk!" you said, slapping her arm playfully.

"Creep," she bit back, kissing the tip of your nose.

You rolled your eyes and pulled her in for a gentle kiss, this one on the lips. Her lips felt like pillows on yours, reminding you how tired you really were. Halfway into the kiss, you yawned, and she laughed.

"Go back to sleep, little night owl. You can watch me sleep again later," she said. She pulled the covers back over you both, rubbing circles on your back.

"You promise?" you mumbled, burying your head into her chest.

"Promise," she whispered, her voice lulling you back to sleep.

[lqfiles]

SCORE THAT GOAL! — smau

after your college had announced that all the students were required to join a club and attend it twice a week, you were planning on either a) dropping out, or b) join the art club and pretend to be sick most of the times. that was before you discovered that park jisung is a long time member of the football team. change in plans: you LOVE football.

or in which you mindlessly join the football club in hopes of catching your crush’s attention (and to maybe secretly check him out too) who cares if you can’t even kick a ball up in the air?

football-player!jisung x fem!reader

genre ; rlly just humour, football / sports au, fluff, some angst, pining and eventually mutual pining, probably slow-burn, college au, strangers to lovers.

extras ; teasing and profanity | sexual and death jokes | reader is down bad | jisung kinda dislikes reader and closed off at the start | my knowledge on football isn’t the BEST but i know above basics and enough for this fic | idrc if some of these subject clubs don’t exist this is for entertainment 😸

notes ; 😭 mostly posting this for myself cos i’ve wanted to try a smau for a while now but i hope anyone else enjoys too.

PLAYLIST ; Rising , TripleS — Hype Boy , newjeans — Awkward , SZA — Gasoline , ROSY (FT. LILMONEY) — Attracted To You , Pinkpantheress — Cognac Queen , Megan Thee Stallion — Goodie Bag , Still Woozy — Eyedress , Something About You .

STATUS ; completed! (24.02.24)

profiles (1) | profiles (2)

1 ) donghyuck’s fault

2 ) 20% more insane

3 ) it’s the voices again

4 ) yes captain!

5 ) invest in a priv account

6 ) peach lipton ice tea

7 ) no suicide EVER

8 ) always believe women

9 ) grape & lemon drink

10 ) favourite teammate

11 ) wingman

12 ) jeno’s food provider

13 ) no lunch

14 ) awkward tension

15 ) a simple conversation

16 ) an even more normal conversation

17 ) under my umbrella

18 ) a canon event (ft. Renjun's Black Friday offer)

19 ) feeling submissive and fragile

20 ) woman hobbies & failed courseworks

21 ) man up and break it

22 ) make-up brush vs subway sandwich

23 ) OFFICIAL FRIENDSHIP!!!

24 ) a nice gesture

25 ) NOT my boyfriend

26 ) business exchange

27 ) what about mark?

28 ) winter wonders with you

29 ) JISUNG vs MARK

30 ) my princess (very lame)

31 ) riddle me this

32 ) do you like her? (probably)

33 ) wtf does QUORA know?

34 ) JISUNGxY/N: plan A

35 ) evil out the way, GOOD RIDDANCE

36 ) basketball incidents.

37 ) JISUNGxY/N: plan B (the jisung quiz)

38 ) E-DATING 🔛🔝🔥

39 ) wise words from renjun

40 ) that one sign

41 ) guess it’s a date

42 ) (unofficial) couple goals

43 ) the y/nle argument

44 ) professional over-thinker

45 ) executing major girlboss energy

46 ) the confession prep

47 ) knock some sense into them

48 ) war is over

49 ) knock some sense into JISUNG

50 ) an overdue confession

51 ) be your boyfriend?

52 ) scored that goal!

BONUS:

jisung the blonde

JISUNG vs MARK pt.2

jaemin’s hit tweets

the jeno quiz

one huge polyamory relationship

rating my boyfriend’s hair colours

thank you for reading!

[tia-shay]

Astro Observations 2.0

Thank you all for 222 followers! <3

Take these observations for what they are: personal observations.

Super duper long because I love you all. :)

Aries moons tend to always be on the move. Often times, these natives have something energetically "off" at home which results in them not even wanting to be there. They're the type to always be at work or at their friend's place. May have parents they want to get away from. At least one of their parents leans toward a more masculine energy.

You cannot be in your feelings when you talk to a Virgo moon. Their love language is literally telling you all the ways you can improve yourself. It's not necessarily that they're trying to make you feel some type of way, they genuinely don't think there's anything offensive about it. They're naturally attracted to "fixer-uppers" and they love a good project. Only problem is, people are not your projects and your loved ones are allowed to be flawed.

On the note of Virgo moons, they also have a tendency to be permanently unimpressed. My mom has this placement and my sister and I always wanted grand reactions to the stuff we did as kids, but we never got them. Even to this day, my mom is the queen of giving absolutely nothing extra energetically lol. They literally look like this emoji --->😐. Unless they have fire placements, they tend to be the definition of stoicism.

I've been studying the relationship between Scorpio moons and their mothers for a while now because it is such an interesting dynamic. I noticed in the past, that Scorpio moon natives may experience a rather controlling mother figure, but I've recently noticed that this controlling nature goes both ways. Yes, their mother has control over them and their actions, but they have just as much control over her too. They're almost like puppets to each other. It's an incredibly intriguing dynamic that honestly leaves me speechless. Makes you wonder, in these specific situations, "Is anyone here truly the victim?"

We've talked about how moon signs can manifest and what your mother may have taught you, but what I have yet to touch on is how your moon sign reflects your mother's pregnancy experience. I've studied this a bit and I think my mom is the perfect example! My sister and I have opposing moon signs: Cancer and Capricorn. I've spoken to my mom in-depth about both her pregnancies and here is how she describes them:

-Pregnancy with Cancer moon: she was overweight, gained 50+ lbs during her pregnancy, used food to cope with her abusive relationship, was on bedrest, too depressed to do or go anywhere, spent most of her days in the house crying.

-Pregnancy with Capricorn moon: she was in amazing physical condition, gained less than 20 lbs during pregnancy (10 lbs of that was baby), had endless energy, worked out every day, worked overtime at her job, was broken up from my dad, lived alone, was in her bag.

Opposite moon signs and two completely different pregnancies!! Crazy, right?!

I've heard the theory that Capricorn moons are the eldest child, which is true in many cases. However, in my experience as a Capricorn moon, I'm the youngest and my eldest sister is a Cancer moon. But that doesn't debunk my "big sister" energy lol. My sister has always referred to me as her "big little sister" and when we were younger and my mom left us home alone, she always left me in charge. My Cancer moon sister was known for her big emotions and ability to quickly lose control. This dynamic has always been funny to me. Ex. We had a tornado watch (super rare where I live) and my sister was running around the house screaming and crying. While I was calmly in my bedroom playing dolls keeping it kosher. 🤣

God really did give his toughest battles to Virgo, Scorpio and Capricorn moons. No one else is doing it like us! We came equipped with everything we needed to handle ALL the bs in our families.

Don't scorch me fire moons, but where is the personal accountability? I've seen water signs talk their way out of some situations, but the way a fire moon will dance around the truth really needs to be studied. I made this observation before and a Sag moon came for me which is how you know it's true. 😭

Moon sign compatibility is so real y'all. As an earth moon, I mainly form deep connections and bonds with other earth moons and *some* water moons. The other elements just don't do it for me. Even with my fire placements & degrees, I still struggle to understand fire moons.

I've read before that Leo moons have a tendency to be selfish, which I concur depending on the situation. But I think the reason why some of them act like this is because often times, they are either the only child or the favorite child. So they literally don't know what it means to compromise or not get their way. I've only met 2 Leo moons (that I know of) years apart and they both had the same tendencies and personality. Let me know if you've had a more positive experience with this moon sign!

Fixed moons may have mothers who are very controlling over their lives. Their mothers have a “fixed” idea of what their child’s life should look like. They have a tendency to have a puppet & puppeteer relationship. I’ve noticed that because of this, these natives tend to have one area of their lives that their mother can’t control and they spiral out of control in that area. Kinda like a “look mom, you can’t control me in EVERY way” type thing. The most common areas I’ve noticed this in is their sex lives and drugs/alcohol use.

Of course the above note is based on personal experience. I’ve heard quite a few mothers of fixed moons say to other people: “I made them do this” “there was no way I was gonna let them not do this…” like the kid has no choice in the matter.

Okay, enough about moon signs. For now...

This may not be too popular with the astro girlies buttt I believe we have a tendency to attract the versions of signs we speak into existence. For example, when I first started studying astrology, I was sick to my stomach to see that I was a Sagittarius rising because I had back-to-back experiences with Sagittarius suns stabbing me in the back, so I told myself they were the worst. In time, I wanted to accept all of my chart which included my own Sag placements. I had to heal my understanding and perception of them to see them differently. Now, I attract the funniest and kindest Sag suns! It all started with me. This is your sign to heal your trauma with that placement. 🤍 (yes, this is also a message to myself). What you see won't change until you change what you see!

If there's anything a mutable rising is gonna do it's change their physical appearance.

Earth risings, rising at earth degree, or chart ruler in earth house: these people are less likely to take bold chances and risks with their appearances. Not really the type to dye their hair crazy colors, although they are quick to get visible tattoos.

Virgo in big 6 appears naturally put together. They don't really have to get ready because they stay ready. And they expect the same from you, especially if you're their romantic partner. This is amplified if they have Libra or Leo placements.

I’ve noticed Virgo suns and risings are much less likely to wear makeup. I see them with it maybe once a year and even then it’s like one coat of mascara and some highlighter. One thing I have heard a lot of Virgo women say is that they literally don’t know how to do their makeup which may factor into why they don’t wear it. Virgo moons however do tend to wear makeup.

Aries and Scorpio placements are very protective of their loved ones. One wrong look in their direction and they're ready to pounce.

Gemini-Sagittarius axis: if there's one thing these placements are gonna do it's laugh at absolutely nothing for an extended period of time.

Taurus and Libra placements, do you really need that new blouse? Or that new stationary knowing dang well you have more than enough? No, put it back. Aht! PUT IT BACK. And keep your receipts, so when you get home from that impulsive purchase, you can bring it right back where you got it from.

Something about Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn placements in dark academia that really does something to me chile...dark academia was made for us!

Saturn rules teeth. Saturn placements and aspects can describe your teeth’s appearance and health. Saturn aspecting Jupiter may have larger teeth. Aspecting Mercury may result in the native having smaller teeth or possibly getting veneers. Saturn aspecting Venus can manifest as the native receiving many compliments on their teeth/smiles. In the case of harsher aspects, the native can feel their teeth directly hinder their perceived beauty.

I’ve noticed people with prominent Gemini/Virgo/Mercury placements are much more likely to have gaps in between their front teeth. Often times, this is a result of their teeth being on the smaller side.

Virgo placements (esp. moons) can have naturally “perfect” teeth that don’t require braces. But upon closer inspection, you can see their teeth are not perfect, but rather, the imperfections are so minuscule you have to truly look to find them.

Libra Suns typically go for either the relaxed look (very natural appearance, not much makeup) or all the frills (makeup, couture, luxury). I have yet to see an in between. Libras with Scorpio/8th house influence enjoy darker colors and go for a much more relaxed look. More likely to portray a dark feminine embodiment of Venus or a more natural feminine. Especially if they have Virgo placements.

Aries suns (males and females) are the BIGGEST sweethearts and I don’t see enough people praise them for their pure hearts. 🥹

DO NOT under any circumstances copy, paste, reword, rewrite, translate, or repost my work.

All Rights Reserved to astro-enthusiast.

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Void - Part 10 - Wednesday

title banner by @rude–jude♡

Genre: Sci-fi with a little angst and a LOT of smut

Pairing: BTS x Reader (yup - all seven)

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 9 /?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Warnings: very short chapter

Mercifully, Taehyung does not wake you up with a thumb in your mouth. You wonder if you will even see him today, given he only signed the form to hide his feelings for Jimin. 

You head straight for the greenhouse, determined to avoid Hoseok for as long as possible. Will you ever be able to face him again? Maybe you should start working nights.

Luckily, there’s plenty to do in the greenhouse and you manage to work all day without interruption. Dinnertime arrives and your stomach grumbles, but you procrastinate heading for the kitchen out of fear of who may be eating there. You can’t stomach bumping into any of the men you’re fucking or any of the men you aren’t.

At a little past seven o-clock, Taehyung sticks his head into the door of the greenhouse. He furrows his brow to see your hands covered in soil. “I thought we had a date?”

“Huh?” you ask, wiping the dirt from your hands onto your pants. “I thought that was pretend. For the benefit of the crew.” 

Taehyung laughs, stepping further into the greenhouse. “Well, some of it was, but I did actually make dinner.”

“You did?” You aren’t dressed for a date. Not that you have anything else to wear. Just a different slightly less dirty jumpsuit. At least none of your clothing is covered in semen today. Yet. 

Taehyung is wearing the same jumpsuit from the accident with the rover. It’s still missing a sleeve from where it was cut off of him. It’s quite flattering on him, no surprise. His exposed upper arm has just enough muscle definition to draw your attention. It’s still in the sling but the bruising has faded. The asymmetrical look with its rough unsewn edge makes him look rather roguish. 

“Come on! The food’s getting cold!” He ducks back out of the greenhouse, waving for you to follow him.

You clean your hands with a cloth and follow him. You're surprised when he veers away from the kitchen and heads for the hangar instead.

The overhead lights in the hangar are off. The room looks so different, it takes you a minute to process what you are seeing. The Europa rover sits in the middle of the room, glowing from the inside with soft blue light.  Scattered around the room are little twinkling lights of white and blue and green. 

“Taehyung!” you gasp. “What is all this?”

“A date!” he answers triumphantly. He clambors up onto one of the large wheels of the rover and opens the door. Even from a distance, you can see a white tablecloth covering the center console, topped with more twinkling lights. He reaches down a hand to help you up. “Your chariot, m’lady.”

“This is…” You are at a loss for words as you take his hand and climb up into the rover with him. “This is so…” You examine one of the twinkling lights on the make-shift table up close. It’s one of the LEDs intended for lighting your paths down on the Europa ice sheets. At least it was rechargeable. "Taehyung, this is so much work for a fake date.” 

Taehyung laughs. “Just because we’re not bumping uglies, doesn’t mean it can't be a real date. I like dates.”

He pulls out a reusable water bottle from behind one of the seats that makes a surprising pop when he opens it. Then he pours something golden and bubbly into two champagne glasses. 

Without thinking, you take accept glass as he hands it to you, then do a double-take. “Is this champagne? Where on Earth did you get champagne? Or champagne glasses?”

He laughs, enjoying your surprise, as he takes a sip from his own glass. “Unfortunately, it’s not the real stuff, just some apple juice I ran through the carbonator.” He clinks his glass to yours as you hold it, still suspended in shock. “The glasses are from Earth though. Packed them for a special occasion.”

He stares a bit wistfully at the glass in his hand and you get a little pang of sadness. “Were you planning this for Jimin?”

He looks up at you and shakes his head, waving your concerns away. “No, no, no. I did this for you.”

“For me?”

He nods. “I’m trying to make amends.”

You’re surprised. “Amends for what?”

He sighs. “For the tape, for the jealousy, I feel like…” He gestures around at the ship in general. “I feel like a lot of this is my fault.”

“What? No.” You shake your head. “This is my fault. I started all this.” 

Taehyung gestures to one side of the console table welcoming you to sit down. “It seemed like you and Jimin were happy though, until I broke my arm and messed everything up.”

“Yeah…” You sigh as you sit down across from him. You sip your fake champagne as you remember orgasming with Jimin inside you, but Yoongi’s voice in your head. “Mostly… but there was something missing…”

“Ah,” Taehyung gives a bit of a teasing smile. “A certain flight engineer, perhaps?”

“Yeah,” you shrug nervously, running your finger around the rim of your glass and teetering on the edge of admitting your real problem. “And not just him…” 

Taehyung nods knowingly. “We do have a devastatingly attractive crew, don’t we?”

“Yes!!” You exclaim, laughing in relief at someone who finally understands. “Why did you all have to be so fucking hot?!”

“All of us?” He places a hand on his chest in fake surprise. 

“Oh shut up, you know you’re hot.” The bubbles in your glass make you feel a little tipsy even if there's no alcohol in them.

Taehyung gives an exaggerated wink, then laughs. "You are very good at seeming uninterested in anyone though. I couldn’t believe how well you held it together when Jungkook stripped in front of you for that haircut.”

A lightbulb goes off. “Oh my god, you put him up to that, didn’t you?”

Taehyung bursts into delighted giggles and you smack him on his good arm. “You did! You maniac! Are you trying to kill me?”

“Not my finest moment, I will admit. Perhaps I had ulterior motives for throwing the hunk at you. Sorry. Just one of many reasons I owe you apologetic fake champagne.” He takes another sip and smiles as he recalls the memory. “Still, you kept your cool remarkably well. If it were me, I would have had his dick in my mouth well before the end of that haircut.”

Your mouth falls open. Fuck. That’s… that’s a very attractive mental image. Your pelvic muscles flinch with a twinge of arousal. 

Taehyung sees your surprise and his eyes widen. “Oh shoot, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He takes your glass from you and sets it down on the table, before turning to rummage with something in a cooler sitting under the seat next to him.

“Oh no.” You squirm in your seat. “I’m not… you didn’t…” you stammer. Fuck. What are you even trying to say? “I just didn’t realize you were attracted to Jungkook as well.”

Taehyung turns back to you and smiles. “I mean… how could you not be? That smile… those abs…”

You both sigh in unison, then laugh. “It’s deeply unfair,” you agree.

He nods, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “What’s deeply unfair is how you have this crew wrapped around your finger.”

“What? No I don’t.”

He arches an eyebrow.

“I don’t!”

He sips his apple juice skeptically.

“No seriously! Hoseok and Namjoon won’t have sex with me even though I practically begged them…” 

He shakes his head. “I still don’t think you realize the power you hold.”

“What power?”

“I saw that video you made with Yoongi. That was incredible. When you let go of all the fear and stress and were so open and vulnerable, that was beautiful. It’s no wonder they all love you.”

Something about hearing it from someone you’re pretty sure doesn’t want to have to sex with you makes you feel like it might really be true. But the whole thing is still too embarrassing and uncomfortable to think about for too long. 

“They’re not in love with me. They’re just… I don’t know… can we talk about something else?”

“Sure.”

Taehyung sets down two plates of what looks like fine dining. Red beets sliced thin and drizzled with balsamic vinegar and a rounded mound of rice pilaf topped with a whole chicken breast.

“My god, where did you get all this?”

He smiles, pleased with himself. “Jin helped me with a bunch of it. I’ve technically given up two of my Christmas dinners for this, but it seemed worth it.” 

You are shocked again that he would go to so much effort. “You didn’t have to do all this just for the sake of our pretend relationship…”

He reaches over the table to take your hand in his. “I do want a real relationship with you though,” he says and your heart starts racing. His dark eyes hold such warmth even as the rest of him is so statuesque. But then he draws back. “Even just as a friend.” he says and you’re a bit disappointed. 

The two of you chat the rest of the evening as you savor your meal, both relieved to find someone you can be honest with. 

At one point you offer to mend his jumpsuit sleeve for him, but he declines. “I like it," he says, shrugging. "Reminds me of important lessons."

You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. "I suppose it is rather dashing," you admit, trying to fill the silence. "But I suppose you would make a dish towel look dashing." You can't even blame the fake champagne for your loose tongue.

His eyes widen in delight and he laughs as he pours the last of the bubbly apple juice into each of your glasses.

“So…” he says as you take a last bite of your dessert, a delicious chocolate cake designated for some future New Year’s Eve. “Fuck, marry, kill: Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi.”

You gasp in horror. “Taehyung, I can’t answer that!”

“Too violent? How about fuck, marry, kiss?”

“No way, not answering.” You mime zipping your lips closed. 

“I’d marry Jimin, obviously.” He continues, undeterred. “And I think I’d have to fuck Yoongi. Those hands… my god.”

“Ugh…” Just the memory makes you groan and collapse onto the table in front of you. “Tae, he’s so good with them. It’s terrible. Those goddamn hands are what started this whole mess.”

Taehyung is pleased to have finally cracked through your facade. “Though the commander… he just carries himself like he has a big dick, you know?”

“Agh…” you groan again, laughing as you stand up. “I think that’s my cue to go to bed.”

“Allow me, m’lady.” He stands up and takes your hand to help you out of the rover. He’s still holding your hand as the two of you reach the floor of the hangar. 

“Thank you again for all this.” You gesture at the twinkling lights spread over the floor, looking especially lovely now that most of the ship has gone dark. 

“Would you mind a platonic goodnight kiss?” He asks, tapping his cheek.  

You bite your lip and shake your head, feeling a whole storm of butterflies in your stomach that do not feel platonic at all. He leans in and gives you a soft kiss on your cheek. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” he murmurs close to your ear.

“Same time next week?” you ask, trying to fight down how on fire your face feels now. “I’ll cook next time.”

He grins. “Looking forward to it.”

______

Thursday is next! And it's going to be dramatic. Hopefully it will be ready soon! Thanks for reading!

[psychemochanight]

Dick being neurodivergent, because why not? (Am I projecting myself onto my hyperfixation character of the moment? Absolutely).

Dick finds the weirdest possible positions to be absolutely comfortable. We already talked about how he likes to hang upside down, but besides that, he's always sitting in a strange way.

Bruce doesn't have any opinion on any of this, but sometimes wonders if Dick is trying to give himself some kind of cramp. The others just wonder if the boy has actual bones.

Bruce thought Dick couldn't be a picky eater, but he's totally wrong. Alfred taught Dick to cook because he knows that if he depended solely on food prepared by other people, the boy would starve. (Worse is when they discover that if they don't remind him, this guy won't eat at all. He just totally forgets that humans need food).

He also taught him other things for sensory issues that he doesn't want to acknowledge. (Yes, there are ways to keep his sheets soft enough, to prevent his shirts from getting lint, even cleaning the slab so it doesn't have weird textures).

Bruce always purposely gave him more work than he needed to do, otherwise he would never get the boy to concentrate. Nothing too difficult, he didn't want to overburden him yet, but seriously, even if he liked math, he would never sit down for more than 10 minutes to do his homework. Organizing his tasks didn't always work, but a deadline? It was his best strategy. Even out of ten minutes, eight were just him thinking about something else and only two to complete the job, he would complete it anyway.

(He never gives him the same task twice in a row. God knows that will never be complete. Have you seen how many jobs this man has? He can't stay in one place for more than a few months).

His thoughts also jump from one situation to another as much as he jumps on rooftops when he is on patrol. Bruce never understands his line of thinking, but it is extremely helpful in solving cases.

Despite appearing extroverted, Dick was still more of an ambivert, sometimes even seeming more introverted, he's just not that shy. His social battery runs out pretty quickly, even if he pretends it doesn't. He still needs time to himself in order to move on, and as a child his best way of pointing this out to Bruce was by hiding under tables in a dark place, or instead, climb to the highest places, farthest from people. Bruce learned that although Dick was used to the noise of people, he was used to seeing it from above, not in the middle of the crowd.

It's not that he's non-verbal, but there are still days where just talking is a no-no. As a child he had better control, but as an adult he just doesn't want to talk, and he's not going to talk.

Weighted blankets? Yes please. Noise cancelling headphones? He would love to, but he is too paranoid to completely isolate himself from his surroundings. (If his friends notice that his leg is bouncing more than usual, they assure him that they will keep watch and ask him to wear his headphones for a while, if they need to talk to him they use sign language).

He also has blackout curtains. And we all know his comfort object is a stuffed elephant, come on. (I love the fandom for this idea. Give the guy his stuffed elephant, give him Zitka.)

Yes, Dick, people have hobbies, but normal people don't change hobbies after mastering them once, much less change them every three days. No, gymnastics is no longer your hobby at this point, it's literally your life.

A special interest falls short when you spent a week without sleep to continue researching your new hyperfixation.

[fuck-customers]

Imagine trying to work in pet nutrition, sounds easy at first. Until you realize that 99% of America doesn’t even understand how to feed themselves so imagine what morons they are when they try to feed their dogs.

These are the issues I see on a daily basis:

Calories. Everyone has misinformation on what calories in food even are, idk how many times I’ve explained this one .

Fat content. Everyone with an obese dog thinks their dog needs a low-fat diet, when it’s the caloric surplus that is making them obese.

Carbs. Same as fat, everyone with an obese dog swears that carbohydrates are the culprit even though there are plenty of athletic prize-winning dogs that are on high-carb diets, which brings up the next concern…

Physical Activity. People think walking their dog around the block once a day is enough to count their physical activity as “high” when it’s actually a mere 10 minute walk, and then they wonder why their dog won’t lose any weight even though he’s on a low-fat diet.

Water content. When I explain to people that the food we are going to give them has a high water content, they go “well why do you guys add water to the food for?” So I explain that we aren’t adding water, all food just naturally has water in it. Somehow this leads them to believe that I’m lying to them and making up false things because they cannot fathom that chicken breast has moisture in it and moisture = WATER.

Poultry. It’s actually common that people need me to explain what poultry is because they simply never even heard of the word. Which I don’t understand because even at the grocery store there are signs labeling the poultry apart from the fish, red meat etc.

Welcome to America, where even the dogs are morbidly obese because no one can do simple research on nutrition without falling down some fad-diet rabbit hole.

Posted by admin Rodney

[fuctacles]

<< 10 | - | 12 >>

Robin finds them sprawled on the grass, resting after their play break. Steve notices her first, his head raising and tail wagging excitedly, though he doesn't move from his spot warming Eddie's thigh. 

"Steve?" 

That's when his friend realizes what got him so excited and he waves to Robin as she spots them in the middle of the yard. Their eyes meet and he knows she's surprised to see Steve in his other form again, but she doesn't say anything. Their werewolf friend yips happily and stands up, away from Eddie's petting to greet his best friend. 

"Hello, Buckley."

"Hello, Munson." She puts her hands on her hips in a perfect mirror of Steve. "I see you two are hard at work?" Robin quickly folds when Steve sits at her feet, his tail moving so fast it is barely visible. She squats down to scratch around his ears. "Hi, dingus."

"Exactly, and we're taking a well-deserved break right now," Eddie says with a smile, sitting up. "The barbeque is out and cleaned up, and we're almost done with the pool and chairs," he sums up their work so far, pointing vaguely to where everything is. 

"Damn, it's like you don't need me at all, huh?" she asks mostly towards Steve with a tilt of her head. He nibs at her fingers in retaliation before trotting away. "Hey, I was joking!"

But Steve picks up the ball still lying next to Eddie's leg and brings it back to Robin. She looks at him in confusion, so Eddie quickly swoops in with an explanation.

"We were playing fetch!"

The yellow, damp ball falls away from Steve's mouth like he might have just gotten self-conscious about the thing. But Robin takes it in stride, grabbing the toy and straightening up. Her friend quickly forgets his inhibitions and straightens up, hyperfocused on her raised hand. 

"Fair warning, I'm not the best thrower. But I guess I can't be much worse than Munson."

"Hey!"

She proves her words seconds later when the ball barely misses his head and Steve jumps right over his body, making him yelp. 

"Jesus H Christ you two!" he yells at them, but is genuinely happy for his friend enjoying his dog form without second guessing himself. 

He idly picks at the grass, observing them and dodging Buckley's shitty aim, wondering how he would feel if he could shift to a creature loved by everyone and with simple needs and ways to express himself. It sounds freeing, but he likes too many things his opposable thumbs can do, like playing the guitar, petting a dog, or playing fetch. 

Does Steve have things he needs his thumbs for? Is he still playing basketball? Maybe Eddie could teach him the guitar. Or Maybe Steve just needs a healthy balance between human and animal treatment. 

Eddie is so preoccupied with his thoughts, that the next ball Buckley throws boinks right off the side of his head. 

Steve skids to a stop in front of him, eyeing the skittering ball like prey, but in the end, jumps up to Eddie and starts licking at the sore spot, while Buckley yells her apologies in the background. 

"Okay, okay, I'll live! It's just a flesh wound!" he laughs, while Steve's hot tongue is ruining his already questionable fringe. The dog boops his cheek with a cold nose and goes to pick up the ball. Eddie takes it as his clue to stand up and fix himself up a bit.

"It pains me to say it, but I guess it's our sign to get back to work," he sighs, dusting off his knees. Steve shows up next to him, eyes huge and the ball between his teeth. "Nuh-uh, man, we can play more later. We gotta finish the yard today so we only have the food to worry about tomorrow."

Steve huffs, the ball falling from his mouth with a sad thump, but he walks away towards the house, bumping Robin's leg on his way to the back door. While he disappears inside, Eddie jogs up to her. 

"Hey," he says again. "I'm trying to help Steve out of his funk." 

Robin raises her eyebrows. 

"How?" she crosses her arms. 

He suddenly feels uneasy, shifting his weight while trying to give his theories and plans shape. There's no one better to talk it out with than Stev's best friend, so he pushes through. 

"Well, he likes how we treat the dog-him, so I think we should treat him more like that on a daily basis. You know, scratches, praises, and shit," he looks up at Buckley hoping he doesn't sound completely insane. "So he likes being human a bit more."

She hums, glancing back at the house.

"You're right," Robin says to his surprise. It's not something he hears often. "Though I think it works best with you."

"What do you mean?" he asks with a frown. 

But she waves him off, turning to where Steve is emerging through the back door wearing loose sweatpants and with his hairy chest on display. 

"Robs!" he greets his friend with a grin, gathering her for a side hug that quickly turns into a friendly chokehold. 

Eddie hopes Buckley can sense his menacing glare despite their roughhousing.

Tags: @noodle-shenaniganery @jaytriesstrangerthings @imaginary-maggie-waggie @samsoble @croatoan-like-its-hot

@dragonmama76 @storyranger @scoops-aboy86 @ollyxar @estrellami-1

@stevesworldxx @ajeff855 @live-laugh-love-dietrich @thelittleclare @wheneverfeasible

[wondersinwaynemanor]

when Lian started calling Bruce "Grandpa", his kids didn't want him to forget it.

Bruce passing by outside of Dick's room.

Dick, announces in his loudest voice: Ay, there's Bruce Wayne! The best Grandpa in town. No wait, second best, after Alfred.

Bruce gives his eldest a look.

Dick, lowers his voice: Sorry B, Alfred is the best in everything.

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce stands up from his chair at the dining area to get more tea.

Cass, smiles as she hands Bruce the teapot: Here. Don't tire yourself.

Bruce: Thank you, Sweetheart. But I can get my own tea-

Cass, signs "Grandpa" and leans down to kiss Bruce on the cheek.

Bruce, can't help but smile: Hn.

Steph, peaks through the door of Bruce's study room: Oooh, what's this I hear? Brucie Wayne, famous billionaire and playboy, is now a Grandpa? What would the ladies say? What would the male nation say now?

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose and focuses on the papers on the table: Hn.

Red Robin, speaks through the comms: I'll drive the Batmobile to you.

Batman: RR, I got it. Stay there-

Red Robin: Nah, I heard you complaining about your back pains the other night.

Batman: It's a regular occurance at this point of my life.

Red Robin, smirks: And we don't want it to be worse, right?

Batman sighs through the comms.

Red Robin: Exactly. ETA 10 minutes. Grandpa.

Batman, growls: Hn.

Duke: Just checking if you need anything before I head out for patrol, B.

Bruce, smiles: I appreciate it. Thank you Duke, but I'm good.

Duke: Steph and Tim said-

Bruce, narrows his eyes: What did they say to you?

Duke, grins: Nothing!

Bruce thinks Duke has left the Batcave but he suddenly shouts,

Duke: Watch your steps carefully when you come back up here, Grandpa. Maybe put more lighting in your cave.

Bruce: Hn.

Damian: How does it feel to be a Grandfather now, Father?

Bruce, smiles instantly: Really good. Lian is wonderful.

Damian, tries to hide a smile: I'm aware, Father. Does this mean Richard gets to be Batman again?

Bruce: What makes you say that?

Damian: Cus I don't you working too hard like Grandfather. That was unhealthy.

Bruce: I'm perfectly healthy, Damian. No need to worry-

Damian, turns off the batcomputer: I insist, Father. We shall put you to bed now.

Bruce: Isn't that my job?

Damian: I don't want to hear another word.

Bruce: Hn.

During breakfast

Jason, turns to face Bruce: Lian has been asking when she can visit her Grandpa.

Steph, howls: Brucie Wayne, the famous Grandpa of all time.

Tim, snickers: Batman, the greatest detective? More like the greatest Grandpa.

Duke, raises his glass of water: Hear, hear.

Cass, giggles as she covers her mouth.

Dick, laughs : Children, not in front of our food, please. Learn how to respect your elders.

Damian: Eat some more, Father.

Jason, laughs: They still at it, huh?

Bruce, sighs and covers his face behind the newspaper as his kids continue to tease him.

[inkdrinkerworld]

hellooo!!

i was thinking about poly!marauders seeing r’s natural hair for the first time? i’ve got curly hair but i straighten it most of the time bc it’s so annoying to take care of, i was wondering if you could write something abt this??

i’ve never requested before lmao i’m sorry if i did this wrong

Omg babe I too wear my curly hair straight 9/10 cos the volume?! Insane!! I actually just did a keratin treatment too cos I could manage

You’re fresh out the shower- well in a bathrobe when you hear the signs of your boys being home.

There’s some arguing- which you know is James and Sirius, and some softer words, Remus trying to placate them.

“We’re home angel!” Comes James’ voice, you listen as you put on some clothes.

“We got that soup you wanted.” Remus supplies- you wait for Sirius’ voice and don’t find it.

Instead, you’re met with the black haired man, scruff and all, present as you pull your towel from your hair.

“Hi puppet,” his lips meet your forehead, and then your lips. “I like the curls.” Sirius inked hand hovers just below the curls at your shoulders, fingertips collecting the water like dewdrops.

“Thanks Siri, I like ‘em too. If only they weren’t so finicky.”

“What’s finicky?” James asks at the door, pausing swiftly after looking up. “Your hair looks lush, angel!”

Your cheeks heat under both men’s attention and you know you don’t have long before Remus comes in and is making it hard to stand before them all.

“I brought the soup in here, didn’t want it to get too cold.” He’s holding a tray with two bowls on it- one for you and him you presume, James and Sirius prefer pho to yours and Remus’ wanton soup.

“Thanks Remmy, though you didn’t have to I was coming out soon.”

He shrugs, sets the tray down carefully and then fakes you in. “Are you wearing it curly this week?”

“Today and tomorrow,” you say, an almost insecure hand reaching to touch the curls.

“Looks good, dove.” Remus stalks towards you, hand cupping your cheek as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Think you ought to keep it curly if you’re gonna get kissed like that, huh angel?” James flirts, all three of them taking turns kissing you silly before you find the voice to remind them about your food.

[r3starttt]

ROOMMATES

PAIRING: ellie x abby

CW: fluff. modern au. hc's.

SUMMARY: Abby and Ellie and the begging of their roommate era <3

DON'T BUY TLOU | PALESTINE MP PALESTINE LINKS | DAILY CLICK

TAGLIST | PERM: @twopeoplee @Kaimythically @greysontheidiot @levilvrr @sapphic-ovaries @girlkisser168 @bilsvlt @tlouloser @marsworlddd @1-800-fantasy @ellieswifee232 @prwttiestbunny @thesevi0lentdelights @lvlymicha @stickycherritart @rob1nbuckl3ys @abbys-muscles @dinakisser @lott6i @imagoddess1

Ellie who was awkwardly checking her phone when she first met Abby. Her fingers nervously tapping random stuff on her notes app, on the calculator, sending desperate messages to anyone just to avoid small talk.

there's this blonde girl I'm probably gonna be roommate with she's massive lol

Abby who would glance at Ellie here and there just to make sure the girl was keeping up with the whole tour and to get any sign that could let her know if she was actually interested in the whole roommate thing.

"The girl that came to see the place is a nerd, she's being all awkward and not talking at all. She's also wearing those black converse everyone likes for no reason."

"abs u listen to classical music to study stfu"

Abby who had to speak to Ellie first and directly ask if she was interested or not. And Ellie who struggled to talk but eventually managed to make the deal with Abby.

"Ellie, right?" the freckled cheeks hadn't been that red in a while. Not that she got scared or anything, she just felt extremely panicked thinking the blonde girl in front of her was about to start small talk- plus, she caught her off guard. "So, what do you think?" Abby crossed her arms, an habit- just there she realized how annoyed she looked. She wasn't, of course, but how could the auburn tell?

Abby, who Inmediatelly put the rules. No eating in the couch unless you have visits, and if so, you clean. No noise after 10 pm and no visits without warning nor after 10 pm either. You wash your dishes, you cook your food. bla bla. bla

"Hey so... uhm" Ellie's hands felt sweaty, her fingers fidgeted with each other as she let herself rest comfortably against the doorframe of Abby's room, who looked attentive.

The blonde's arms and legs crossed as she rested against her chair, seemingly frustrated by some stuff she was working on in her desk. "My... uh, I'm bringing someone? I was wondering- it's Friday, maybe I-"

"Yeah, I dont mind it. Just try to keep it quiet"

Abby who was also the first to break the rules

And there she was, flirting with the girl Ellie had fought so much to gain the smallest attention- "Yeah? is that so? oh... really?" currently one am and whatever stress she'd gathered along the week long forgotten.

Ellie who eventually put her own rules. And who got humbled every time because she didn't really care so Abby was the one reminding her about it.

"Why don't you just take mine?" the auburnette spoke with her mouth full, her phone in one hand and her bowl of cereal in the other as she watched the blonde walk all over the small kitchen.

Abby had been around five minutes trying to find a clean tupper of her own, almost having a crisis because oh she was one long minute late already. "You told me not to touch your stuff"

Abby who's super cool to Ellie's eyes, and Ellie who brags about her very cool roommate who's also very smart and strong and nice and sweet and nerdy and many cute stuff.

"didn't you say you wanted to find other place last week?"

"shut up jesse, she just- she was so annoying that day, okay? we are good now"

"we? bro she doesn't even talk to you"

Abby who made it feel illegal to even walk pass her room if her door was open? she was so strict over privacy matters. And Ellie who couldn't care less, taking any chance she had to glance at the room.

"You don't like star wars? what's with the poster then-" and only there, with Abby's look and the awkward silence, Ellie realized she had just fucked the little chance she had to get along with the blonde.

Abby, who eventually stopped caring so much about privacy matters and rules, it was practically impossible. Ellie was charming in her own way, and Abby wasn't so serious after all.

"The movie was lame" the auburnette spoke with her mouth full of a mix of chocolate and whatever else. Abby’s fingers stopped their track between the blonde locks being unbraided- her face into a frown as she met Ellie’s eyes. "You don't like anything! it's the fifth-" Their voices overlapped, Ellie denying whatever statement the blonde was trying to explain or prove. "You choose the next one and better keep quiet-" and again, shouting and anxious eating from Ellie who couldn't feel more comfortable suddenly.

[luminoustarlight]

As Fate Would Have It | Chapter Two

It's your first day of work at Skywalker Enterprises.

◂ chapter one ▸ chapter three

rating: mature | pairing: dilf!anakin skywalker x afab!reader | wc: 3.7k | read on ao3

warnings: swearing, age-gaps, sexual fantasies

The moms at St. Lucas Preparatory School are shameless. Single, divorced, and married women (and some men) alike can’t help but hold their breath when Anakin Skywalker steps onto campus. The dads are intimidated by him and the moms… well, let’s just say the moms have less than school appropriate thoughts about the billionaire. 

Anakin detests the end of the year. He hates being involved at the school. He doesn’t want to spend 2 hours of his day off packing meals in a crowded gymnasium with other parents who also don’t want to be there. 

He doesn’t want to make small talk or ask about Luke and Leia’s classmates because frankly, he doesn’t give a crap. The only children he likes are his own and he won’t pretend otherwise. 

“Mr. Skywalker,” Leia’s teacher, Ms. Clark sighs, “you are the only parent in my class who has yet to sign up for a slot at this year's Cranberry Sauce.” Cranberry Sauce is just the name the school gives the Thanksgiving Drive to make it sound more “fun”. 

Anakin gives his children a kiss on their foreheads and sends them through the school gates. Once they’re out of earshot, he addresses Leia’s teacher. “I already wrote a check to buy the damn food. Isn’t that sufficient?” 

“Mr. Skywalker,” Ms. Clark repeats with annoyance. If it were up to her, she’d let Anakin donate all of the money he wants in order to keep him from volunteering at school events. She thinks he’s arrogant, stuck-up, and far too handsome for any man to be. So she decides to loathe him since she can’t fuck him. But Headmaster Franklin is adamant Anakin attends the event. 

“I really insist that you participate for at least an hour at Cranberry Sauce next weekend. It is important for your children to see you involved at the school. At their school.” 

Anakin’s tall and broad stature seems to grow even larger at this statement. How dare this woman insinuate anything about him as a father? 

“You think I’m not involved in my childrens’ lives?” Anakin has just enough self-control not to completely raise his voice at his daughter’s fourth grade teacher. Especially since parents are continuing to drop off their kids. “You think I’m an absent father who gives the school money to compensate for my lack of paternal instincts?” 

“I didn’t say that,” Ms. Clark answers cautiously. “There is no need to make a scene. I have no doubts you are an excellent father, Mr. Skywalker. I don’t think Leia would be the young lady she is if you weren’t. One hour. That's all we ask.” 

Anakin raises an eyebrow. “We?” 

“Oh, um, well-” Ms. Clark stammers. Busted. She sighs with defeat. “Headmaster Franklin would very much like to see you there.”

“I’m sure he would,” Anakin replies smugly. Headmaster Franklin wants him there for publicity. Anakin should be more pissed about that than being accused of not being a present parent, but he’s not. He likes his ego stroked every now and then. “One hour.” 

“Thank you,” Ms. Clark smiles tightly. “Does 10-11 work for you?” 

“Fine,” Anakin waves his hand dismissively as he gets a message on his phone. 

Ben Kenobi 

Your new secretary is here. 

Shit. It’s Anakin’s first day without Dorothy. No wonder the morning has gone the way it has. Between Luke spilling orange juice on his shirt, Leia’s uncooperating French braids, and his conversation with Ms. Clark, Anakin can’t help but fear the change in routine with a new assistant. He types his response. 

Anakin Skywalker

Assistant. Not secretary. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. 

Ben Kenobi 

If you say so. 

Ben Kenobi is Anakin’s closest friend. Some might even call them brothers. Ben is fifteen years older than Anakin, married to the mayor, and enjoys fly fishing on the weekends. He’s also Luke and Leia’s godfather. Should anything happen to Anakin, there is no one else he’d trust to raise and watch over his children than Ben Kenobi. 

And Ben knows better than anyone that Anakin doesn’t like change. He’s been dreading Dorothy’s last day since she told him she was retiring a year ago. How was he going to find someone as good as her? Someone who anticipates his needs before he does? 

That’s why he tasked her with finding her own replacement. He’s just too busy to interview a replacement for Dorothy himself. He wouldn’t know what to look for, anyway. If he doesn’t know what he wants in a woman to date, how is he supposed to know what he wants in a new assistant? 

.

.

. 

“Mr. Skywalker is not in at the moment. Can I take a message?” You’ve uttered that exact sentence at least seven times since you arrived at the office at 8:00 a.m. Now, as it nears 9:00, you expect to see your new boss very soon. 

Each time you hear the elevator ding, you look up with hopefulness at the arrival of the esteemed Anakin Skywalker. What will you say to him? How will you introduce yourself? Will he be nice and welcoming? God, you hope so. You’ve read just about every article, watched every interview, and listened to every podcast he’s done to prepare yourself for the job. The consensus is the same in all of them. 

Anakin Skywalker is generous, he’s polite, and generally gets along with everyone— if you don’t get on his nerves. And, according to Dorothy, he’s a charmer. 

“Yes, absolutely,” you say while taking notes of the message on a legal pad. Your head is down so you don’t notice Anakin walking out of the elevator. He stops 5 steps away from your desk. His ribs feel like they’re collapsing around his lungs because of that voice. Why does he know that voice? 

“I will let Mr. Skywalker know you called as soon as he gets into the office.” You hang up the phone and as you look up, there he is in all of his gorgeous glory. 

You actually have to tell yourself to take a breath because he’s even more handsome in person. Faint lines around his eyes represent years of life he lived before you were born. His dark blonde hair is combed back effortlessly and is it wrong that you want to run your hands through it? Yeah, probably. He’s your boss and over twenty years older than you. 

“It’s-” Anakin can’t even say more than that because holy fuck. Is he dreaming? He squeezes his eyes and then opens them, only to see you now standing with your hand extended to him. “It’s… you.” 

“Um, yes,” you say while awkwardly returning your arm to your side. “I’m Y/N. Your new assistant. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Skywalker.” 

“I- um, yes,” Anakin clears his throat. Christ, that wasn’t even a sentence. “I need to take care of something,” he says on his way towards his office. “I am not to be disturbed until I come out. Do you understand?” 

“Y-yes. Yes, sir,” you barely answer before Anakin’s office door is shut violently. Well, that certainly wasn’t the introduction you were expecting or hoping for. You’re starting to think not meeting him beforehand was a bad idea. It honestly should’ve been a red flag but Dorothy insisted it was fine. 

It doesn’t seem fine. 

And things definitely aren’t fine. For Anakin, that is. To say he’s freaking out is putting it lightly. He paces the length of his office, shoving his fingers through his hair and muttering to himself. “It can’t be. There’s no way it can be her.” 

Maybe he’s hallucinating. Maybe he’s having an incredibly vivid dream where his favorite OnlyFans performer, who he has known as HoneySuckle for the last three years is his new assistant. What did you say your name is? Anakin couldn’t hear you over the erection that was forming in his pants because he knows your voice. He’s cum from your voice alone. He’s cum because of you so, so many times. 

This can’t be happening. 

He’s never seen your entire face but he knows it’s you. He’d recognize your lips in a police lineup. He hears your voice in his wet dreams. He just knows it’s you. 

And the fact that he has a hard-on is a problem. A problem he wishes you could take care of but you can’t because now you work for him and he’s your boss. This is all so, so wrong. 

Anakin doesn’t so much sit on his leather chair as he does collapse into it. This was never supposed to happen. Yes, he has dreamed about meeting you on more than one occasion. He’s thought about telling you who he is during your countless direct messages so many times. He’s thought about using his infinite resources to find out who you really are on more than one occasion.

But he always concluded that it would be so insanely wrong and borderline creepy if he did that. You were always supposed to remain a fantasy. Just a nameless woman on a screen who doesn’t live in the same country, state, or city as him. 

Yet here you are— sitting outside of his office, taking his calls, calling him Mr. Skywalker and being even more beautiful than he could have imagined. 

You are no longer the woman on his tablet spewing filthy words as you make yourself orgasm. You’re tangible. You have a name- although he can’t remember what it is. He replays the interaction over in his head. The feeling he felt when he saw you was reminiscent of seeing his wife walk down the aisle at their wedding. He was a blundering mess then, just as he is a blundering mess now. 

He doesn’t even want to think about your first impression of him. He’s supposed to be Anakin Skywalker for crying out loud! The suave, handsome millionaire who has the ability to make men cower and women fall to their knees. The embarrassment he feels from that interaction is enough to subdue his hard-on. He pours himself a bit of Bourbon, shoots it back like it’s a normal thing to do at 9 in the morning, and prepares to reintroduce himself to you. 

Anakin smooths his hands down his slacks before opening his door. As his eyes are magnetized to you, his heart starts beating irregularly. Get a fucking grip. 

You stand attentively when you notice Anakin walking towards you. Worried you made a terrible impression on him, you wait to speak. But Anakin doesn’t say anything either and now he’s standing in front of your desk, all tall and lean and smelling like Cedar and Whiskey. He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read. Did Dorothy tell him anything about you? Or did he go into this just as blind as you did? 

His eyes seem to dance all over your body which makes you feel like he’s studying you. Or criticizing every single thing about your appearance. From your simple burgundy dress to the pearl studs you bought with some of Skyguy81’s most recent (and overly generous) tip. 

Finally, because his gaze on you was becoming too much to bear, you are the one to talk first. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Skywalker?” 

Yeah, you can remind him of your name for starters. “Do you have messages for me?” is what he asks instead. 

“Yes,” you answer, picking up the pad you’ve been scribbling notes on for the last hour. “Rex sent over the final schematics for the 0525 project that needs your approval by 3 p.m. today in order to begin production. Mayor Kryze’s office called about the upcoming Gala in December and wanted to know if you would be in attendance. And if so, how many tickets should they reserve? Oh, and someone from St. Lucas Preparatory School called to let you know that your son ripped his pants and needs a new pair brought to school because they don’t have any new pants in his size.” 

Anakin taps his index finger on your desk while he listens to you. He barely registers anything you say because it’s really hard to hear your voice without getting aroused. It’s hard even looking at you without automatically picturing you naked. There’s not an inch of your skin he’s never seen. Well, except for the top half of your face which now, of course, he has seen. And God, does he love what you have to offer. 

You’re still relaying messages but suddenly you’re bent over your desk, gripping the edge of it with pale knuckles as Anakin slams into you over, and over, and over. He’s making you yelp his name so loudly the whole building can hear you. 

“Mr. Skywalker?” 

Anakin snaps back into reality where you’re still fully clothed and definitely not moaning his name. “What?” comes out a little harsher than he intended. And he immediately regrets it when he sees you visibly shrink right before him. 

“What- what would you like me to tell the Mayor’s office?” 

Anakin has gone as a bachelor to the last two Christmas Galas. Ben stays close to Satine the whole night and he really doesn’t see the point in asking a woman he has no interest in to be his date. Plus, going alone lets him leave the party with whomever he wants or to call it a night and go home early to watch ELF and drink peppermint cocoa with his kids. 

“Have them put me down for 2.” 

You nod whilst making another note on the pad. “And what about your son’s pants?” 

“Did they say where he ripped them?” 

“Right down the middle,” you answer. 

Anakin shakes his head. “Oh, Luke,” he mutters to himself. “Alright, I’ll go home and get him a new pair.” 

“Icandoit,” rushes out of your mouth. 

“What?” 

“Sorry, my mouth moved faster than my brain,” you reply, hoping Anakin will find it endearing instead of annoying. “I said I can do it. I don’t mind. It’s my job, isn’t it?” 

Anakin opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. Yes, technically it’s your job to do this sort of errand. But Anakin doesn’t want you going to his house alone, sifting through his son’s drawers, and bringing him new pants to his school. 

Primarily because he’d much rather you be in his home under different circumstances. 

“We’ll go together,” Anakin decides against his better judgment. “I’ll drive.”

.

.

.

So, Anakin definitely didn’t think things through when he said he’d drive. 

In what world did he think sharing a close, confined space with you was a good idea? This whole morning has been a cluster-fuck. Honestly. He’s still struggling to wrap his head around who you are. When you announced Squirting for Sky was going to be your last video, he thought what a devastation it would be to not look forward to your videos every week. Who would’ve thought you’d be the one replacing his dear old assistant the very next week? The odds of it all are overwhelming. 

But isn’t this what he’s always wanted? The opportunity to meet you? To know your name and know you personally? Every wish of his has been granted— except for the fact that he is your boss and you are technically his subordinate. He says technically because Dorothy always felt more like family than an employee. 

You could be family. 

You could be so much more than his assistant.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Anakin. Be reasonable. She’s your employee. She’s practically a kid. 

Anakin looks over to you for the first time since getting in the car. You’re pressed against the side of the passenger door, knees angled away from him and arms crossed over your chest. “Are you cold?” 

“Oh,” you say, looking at him with a tentative smile. “A little.” 

“You should’ve said so,” Anakin turns on the heater and your seat warmer. “My kids call seat warmers butt toasters. Let me know if your butt gets too toasty.” 

You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing. 

There’s an awkward pause as Anakin realizes what he just said. He absolutely cannot think about your butt any longer than he has to because we all know how that will end.

 (A hard cock, in case that wasn’t clear). 

 “I mean, uh- shit,” Anakin briefly closes his eyes to compose himself. Let me know if your butt gets too toasty? 

“Just turn it off yourself if you get too warm.” 

Do you make him nervous? No way. You decide to let it go. “Kids? Plural?” 

“Yeah.” Anakin drapes his right arm over the center console and taps his fingers against the gear shift. Long, dexterous fingers at that. You have to look away before you start thinking about something completely inappropriate of your boss. “I have twins. A boy and a girl. Luke, he’s the silly one. Right now he’s big into archeology. He’s also pretty clumsy, hence the rip in his pants. And Leia, my daughter, she’s far too serious for any 9 year old to be. She says she wants to be a senator when she grows up.” 

This is the longest you’ve been able to look at Anakin without feeling your cheeks burning. Now, they’re just hot because of the heater blasting in your face. “You light up when you talk about them,” you say. “You must love them a lot.” 

“More than anything,” Anakin doesn’t hesitate. “Here we are.” 

You should’ve been paying attention on how to get to his house from the office. Surely, you’ll be running these errands on your own if things go well with your employment. Oh, well. That’s what the Maps is for. 

Anakin’s house is a stunning Eichler. It looks straight out of an Architectural Digest cover. The lawn outside is perfectly cropped and perfectly green but littered with a soccer ball, football, a baseball bat and whiffle balls. You wouldn’t have pegged Anakin for a mid-century modern kind of guy. You would’ve thought he’d opt for an insanely modern, sterile house. 

As you walk through the atrium and into the main body of the house, it’s clear it is a family home. Anakin uses his foot to sweep his kids’ shoes out of the way so you don’t trip over them. “Sorry about the mess.” 

“It’s okay,” you shrug. Anakin’s house isn’t even all that messy. It just looks like a home. There are so many pictures on the walls, it would be impossible to look at all of them in one go. One in particular, though, catches your eye. It’s the largest out of all of them and the only one in black and white. A significantly younger Anakin is at the bedside of who you presume to be his wife with two bundles of babies in their arms. They are both looking down and smiling. His wife was stunning. They definitely made an attractive couple. 

It’s not lost on you that there are no other pictures of Anakin’s kids with their mom. He’s only spoken about his wife’s death in one interview, about a year after her passing. If you remember correctly, she died shortly after the twins were born. 

You can’t imagine the kind of pain and heartache Anakin must have felt losing his wife. You don’t know what it feels like to experience that kind of grief. You want to tell Anakin you’re sorry for his loss, but what good will that do? Is there any consolation in that at all? 

You’re still looking at the photo when Anakin returns from Luke’s room with a new pair of tan pants. You can feel his presence right beside you and the silence is louder than words. 

He shouldn’t have brought you back here. It’s only your first day and you’ve already seen too much of his life. 

“Let’s go,” Anakin orders. You nod without a word and follow him out to the car. 

The tension in the air is palpable on your way to St. Lucas Prep. You feel like you’ve done something wrong by simply stepping foot in Anakin’s house. His whole demeanor shifted when he came back to the front room with Luke’s pants. Does he regret bringing you to the house? If so, why? Dorothy clearly laid out your responsibilities to you. Tending to personal matters at Anakin’s house is part of the job. You are not just a professional assistant, but a personal assistant, too.

You can’t stand not knowing why someone is upset with you. “Did I do something wrong?” 

Anakin’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “No.” 

Wow, how reassuring. “Okay, then why do I feel like I did something to upset you?” 

You’re really pressing your limit with him right now. You’ve only just met 2 hours ago. See, this is why meeting him should’ve been part of the hiring process. You’d be a lot more acquainted with each other than you are right now. 

If only you knew how acquainted Anakin is with you… 

“You didn’t,” is all he says. But with a twitch of his jaw, you still feel like he’s not telling you the truth. 

“Look, Mr. Skywalker,” you begin. “I understand Dorothy meant a great deal to you, and her leaving is going to be an adjustment. But I promise you I am capable of this job. I’m never late, I’m up late all the time so if there was anything you needed, I’d be able to fulfill it. I love kids, I’m a hard worker and I would really appreciate it if you gave me a chance before making any decisions about me.” 

“You’re right,” Anakin says. “I’ll give you a chance.”  But he’s already made up his mind. He doesn’t have to ‘give you a chance’ to know that he wants you. He is crawling out of his skin with how badly he wants you. And he knows it’s wrong, probably immoral, but he really doesn’t care. Because now that you’ve been inside of his home, the boundary that should exist between him as your boss and you as his employee feels impossibly blurry.

◂ series masterlist ▸ chapter three

[mermaidchansons]

Divine Indeed: Part Two

Neighbor!Terry Richmond x Divine Wells (black OC)

Story Summary: Divine Wells, a 31-year-old seamstress, deals with waves of change after she picks up her life and moves to San Diego for a new job. She thought she’d finally found peace in her new normal; until Oshun decided to push her path to collide with her fine ass neighbor, Terry Richmond.

Words: 2300+

Warnings: mentions of loss, lust

Author’s Note: Better late than never lmfao. Feedback is always encouraged! Don’t keep your thoughts in that pretty head, share with me, bby <3 - Ashanti

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt.3

Meow! 

“I hear you, T. Just give me 5 seconds, man.” 

Terry looked down at his watch, watching the seconds hand cross over the 12 and stopping the alarm just as it began to ring out. The music in his ears transitioned to the next song on Death’s ‘…For The Whole World To See’ album. It was 7:30 AM, which meant breakfast time for the one-year-old Maine Coon, and he was intent on making it everyone’s problem. He scampered over to where his human was sitting to tie his sneakers and placed his big front paws on Terry’s knees; claws slightly sinking into the outer layer of his owner's skin. Shaking his head, Terry headed out of his bedroom and over to the kitchen where elevated bowls with the name T’Challa written in black. 

Terry tightened the loop of his gym bag at his chest as he briskly walked across the room with his cat in tow; mewling at him in annoyance. He moved to San Diego just over two years prior, intent on putting his past behind him and finding himself again; or whoever he was now that his only living family member was gone. The sense of self that he had felt confident in was shaken and depleted. The Marines instilled Terry with discipline and determination where Michael gave him a sense of adventure and a purpose; a reason to keep going. For years, he had a purpose in two entities. But now that time and circumstance had ripped both out of his grasp, he needed a change of scenery; to get out of the south. Terry was stagnant for once in 10 years and in becoming familiar with the suffocating, muggy feeling of loss, he knew he needed out. Loss would have eaten him whole with no regret or second thoughts.

Terry reached into the tall food container, scooping up dry kibbles and moving to the food bowl. As if on cue, T’Challa stood on his stocky hind legs with his face in the bowl, waiting for the kibbles to drop. Terry attempted to push the cat’s long face away, rolling his eyes at the sound of a very long drawn-out meow. The little man was impatient as hell and acted as if Terry would ever let him miss a meal. T’Challa resisted as always, hellbent on being in the way and Terry poured the food directly onto his head, calling him an ‘asshole’. He would never get over how half of the kibble never made it into the bowl. When he first moved into this apartment, the woman who helped him sign the lease suggested that he’d get a furry companion to help ‘evade the inevitable loneliness’. And yet it was times like this that made him wonder if he should have chosen loneliness instead.

“I better not find any of that food in that damn bed, T,” Terry warned the cat as he walked out the front door, locking it behind him; jiggling the handle for good measure. Bypassing the elevator and heading to the staircase, Terry checked his texts to see that his client would be 15 minutes late. He flexed his jaw incredulously, shoving the phone in his pocket. He’d have to nip that in the bud. Tardiness was something Terry would not tolerate. After being berated by his Creole grandmother in front of her book club for his tardiness, a 7-year-old Terry had decided that he would never be late to anything ever again. And he never was. ‘Cause who would he be if he went against Grandma Thérèse’s orders? A smirk appeared on his face as he landed on the second floor, hearing her voice in his ear saying ‘if you’re on time, you’re late. And if you’re late, you may as well have stayed home, chile’. 

Terry waltzed into gym room #7 with his attention to his phone and stopped in his tracks. The music in his ears seemed to also be playing out loud, causing him to blink at the impending confusion. Pausing the music and taking out his AirPods, he finally looked up. A candy pink speaker sat against the farthest wall blasting the tail end of ‘Politicians In My Eyes’ by Death. Across from the speaker was a person high up on the stair master, squeezing her eyes shut as she stepped up each step. Her pink afro bubble braids were half up, half of them hanging down her back; just passed the cup of her thick backside. 

Terry hid a growing smile when he took a closer look at the gym set the beautiful stranger was wearing. A light blue with water ripples and bright yellow rubber ducks that warped and jiggled with each hike she made. It was almost comical, but not nearly enough to distract him. His mouth went dry as he observed the stranger, taking in every curve and roll as she climbed the stairs to the beat of a new song. He was staring for far too long and he knew it. But she made it hard to turn away; the swing of her plentiful hips with each step was enough to make him drop to his knees and beg her for an ounce of attention. Just an ounce, he knew he didn’t deserve any more than that. No one on earth was deserving of someone like her. Refocus, be cool. 

“My bad, I didn’t know this room was booked up,” Terry yelled over the electronic music. 

Her head whipped to look at him before she scrambled, trying to stop the machine and pause the music at the same time. She stood on the side of the machine, frantically ripping out the safety chord and turning down the music with both hands. Her chest bounced up and down wildly, trying to catch her breath. Terry fixed his mouth to ask if she was alright, but she stuck out her index finger, silencing him. He nodded and walked over to the panting goddess, holding out his hand in support. She gingerly placed her small palm in his, letting him guide her back down to safety. He picked up what he assumed to be her pink, sticker ladened hydro flask and handed it to her. Terry watched intently as she mouthed a thank you. 

“I didn’t mean to barge in on your time,” Terry apologized, one foot behind him, ready to leave her to her own devices. 

“No, no- don’t mind me, we can share for the last 10 minutes.” 

Pink bubble braids swayed around her as she made her way over to a pile of weight plates on the floor, left behind by someone in a rush no doubt. Terry watched as she bent down to pick up a plate, but stayed down. She had to have known it was too heavy, but she continued to strain. 

How long is she going to keep this up? Terry tried his best to quell the bubbling laughter rising in him. With arms crossed, he observed as she finally lifted the plate off of the ground and practically threw it onto the bench. He watched her face contort in the reflection of the mirror, scrunching her cute little round nose at the sudden clanging of metal. Down again she went, moving into a deep squat to lift the next plate. Terry shut his eyes tight, pulling his lips in as the laugh began trickling out of him, making an audible pffft. 

“You could help you know,” the beautiful stranger whined with an incredulous look on her face; which soon melted into a smirk once she saw the smile plastered on Terry. 

“Yes, ma’am.” Terry jogged over, trading laughs between them. He didn’t have much experience in the art of flirting, and never really had the urge to engage in it. Leading as many lives as Terry had, one would think romance must have wiggled its way in at some point. Yet, here he stood, unable to remember how long it’s been since he’d been on a date. It couldn’t have been in the last year, he’d been a hermit since he’d moved to San Diego. 

“It’s hard to take you seriously with all the ducks and cuteness.”

“Listen, you wouldn’t be saying that if you saw the lack of cute workout clothes in size fat. I had to make these myself.” 

Terry took the weight plate out of her hands. “Word? Is that what you do?” He bent down to return the plates, his eyes darting to the rubber duck charms dangling from her blue sneakers.

“Yeah, kinda,” she sighed before taking a long swig of water, “I’m a seamstress so I mostly execute other people’s visions. I don’t get a lot of time to work on my own stuff.” 

“By the way you sound saying that you might need to make some time for yourself. Otherwise, you gone sound like a depressed robot.” 

Terry nudged her shoulder with his and she dramatically swayed to the side. Her tooth gems gleamed in the light when her chubby cheeks squished up into a smile. Warmth radiated in the tips of Terry’s ears and he swallowed dryly to extinguish the growing desire in his abdomen. 

“Marvin? Stop, my mom used to call me that. She loves that movie.” She started to walk towards the door and Terry’s feet moved with hers, no thoughts required.

“That was one of the last movies I saw in theater.” 

She scrunched up her face and stopped in her tracks. Terry stopped with her in tandem and waited in curiosity. He looked down at her with his brow lifted in question. 

“Wait, that was like a bajillion years ago! You gotta get out more, dude. Listen, there’s a theater two blocks away that does $5 Wednesday showings.” 

Terry cheesed hard watching the little deity jump into a myriad of movie titles and where to watch them online. She looked almost offended that he had not had the chance to experience these movies, going into her recommendations for the month. Sure, he hadn’t dated in what felt like a century, but maybe a movie date would be nice. 

“My bad, I’m running my mouth about a special interest and I don’t even know your name yet.” 

Terry blinked away the date ideas swirling in his head and brought himself back to the present, rewinding and replaying the last sentence sent into the air. “You’re good. Nice to meet you, I’m Terry. Terry Richmond. I’m on level 5.”

She slid a small, gold-adorned hand into his larger one and pulled her shoulders back. “Pleasure to meet you, Terry of Level 5. My name’s Divine Wells, first of her name, keeper, and dweller of level 2.” 

He watched her bow into an assisted curtsey, giggling; clearly tickled by her joke. She was an absolute nut and he grew entranced with every word that fell from her pouty pink lips. Her name echoed in his head in a voice other than his own and rushing water sounded in his ears. The voice repeated her name until it melted into the familiar pitter-patter of raindrops against a window. What was she doing to him? Her brown sugar eyes broke away from his to look out the window at the sudden rain. He immediately missed their connection, desperate to be beneath her gaze once more. Looking down at their still connected hands, he felt almost magnetized to her. 

When Divine returned her attention to his face, her eyes grew large with shock and she took her hand out of his. “My bad,” she said in hushed tones.

“You’re good, Divine.” Terry’s eyes racked up and down her body once more before offering her a small, genial smile. She bit her lip and drew her eyes away. Was she blushing? Terry slyly dug into his pocket for a business card, getting one ready to hand to her.

“You know I-”

“Hermano, my bad bro, my alarm didn’t go off and I had this honey over last night. I lost track of time, bro.” An olive-skinned man projected his voice as he tip-toed in, vacuuming away the swells of lust in the air. Terry crossed his arms and pointed his eyes like daggers at the man. Divine’s shot between them and let out a small ‘oop’. 

“Stretch.” 

One word from Terry and the man damn near sprinted to the other side of the gym room, his overly large gym bag rustling loudly with each step. Terry looked over to see Divine gathering her things to prepare to leave. 

A waterfall of pink puffs covered her face as she bent down to her belongings into a bag. Rubber ducks jiggled with her behind as she stepped, drawing Terry’s attention again. He had to stop looking at her like this. If he didn’t, he’d have to step away from his client session to take care of the growing pain below his abdomen. 

Divine walked towards the door waving with one hand, and put on her headphones with the other. “Nice meeting you, Terry.” 

“You too. Hold up.” Terry took three steps forward, his heart jumping a beat as he watched Divine bite her lip once more; those eyes flooding him with heat. “I know we don’t know each other like that but here’s my number. Let me know if you ever need anything, I take this community shit seriously.” 

Her eyes lit up as she took the card from his hand and Terry flexed his jaw. He was in agony just looking at her.

“Whatever you say, Terry.” He watched Divine and her rubber duck-lined outfit walk away as the rain picked up outside. He was in trouble.

Tags:

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Thanks For Reading!

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: "What did [orcs] taste like?" {*distant sounds of tanoraqui going feral*}

I'm enjoying Chilchuck more in the manga because I notice him more, because he's less front-and-center talkative but in the background he's visibly thinking about things. I certainly noticed and enjoyed this moment in the anime, too, but it's a good example: Chilchuck is by far the best in this party at people, in terms of reading a room, understanding long-term group dynamics, and considering larger social questions like morality. His pattern recognition skills are obviously superb, and he applies them to dungeon navigation, trap- and monster-disarming, and social dynamics. He understands and gives practical advice on the relationships within a successful vs unsuccessful dungeon parties, and the skills of leaders thereof. He can often be seen eyeing the terrible new food consideringly before eating it. He's the one most often calling Laios out about No Eating Humanoids, including picking up on the fishmen eggs. When Laios complains that that's just based on a "feeling", Chilchuck does think about it - but still, when Marcille says of the dryads that maybe it doesn't matter if the plant is humanoid, Chilchuck says with concern, "Marcille..." He's the first to wonder how to make money from the dragon, but it's a practical concern, not greed. He's the only who realizes and convinces everyone that they have to turn back.

It all adds up to a guy who's never read a textbook of moral philosophy or the makings of a stable society in his life, but who could probably expound on them in layman's terms while drunk off his ass in a bar. He's responsible, including wanting to look out for his people, and very practical, and genuinely whip-smart. I'm not at ALL surprised to learn that he observed the systemic abuse of halffeet in the dungeon-delving trade and organized a union against it.

.

Shuro: Just say the highlights, alright?

Laios: We killed the red dragon, got Falin out of its stomach and resurrected her, but then we ran into the Mad Mage ad were separated.

Shuro and Kabru:

...actually, it's interesting how surprised I am, and was when I watched this, to see how...Normal Human Interaction Laios is in this moment? Upon request, he handily gave an efficient summary of exactly the highlights that needed to be shared - both what the others needed/would want to know, and not what they didn't need to know, lest Marcille be arrested for dark magic. Is he more relaxed around his usual crew, and thus acts "weirder"? Is this just a very specific circumstance, ie, it's reasonable to think the whole party has been considering exactly how to describe their adventures to others?

Maybe more notably, he left out monster-eating, which is also a cultural taboo but one that he's shown no sign of respecting so far. One must ask, for a moment: wait, does he respect that it's taboo in polite company? It's true that Marcille and Chilchuck, who'd both dungeoned with him for [mumblemumbletime], didn't know until the start of the story - he's clearly only just started unleashing all this culinary glee, even if he probably did already share infinite useful monster(-killing) factoids. Or is he aware and respectful of the fact that Shuro's definitely of "highlights" definitely only includes What Happened To Falin? This, too, is a level of character insight rarely if ever seen in Laios before.

.

Laios is like a deer in front of a lion... Yeah maybe I do want to watch Kabru flirt with him and Laios get completely flustered... Only if Laios turns it around by (later, after fleeing the initial scene) bluntly asking if Kabru wants to go on a date and/or have sex, and Kabru.exe stops functioning.

.

One must ask, for a moment: wait, does [Laios] respect that [eating monsters is] taboo in polite company? -my considerations 10 seconds ago in in-canon time

nvm, he's back on his bullshit! :) <3

Which! Indicates that his summary WAS intentionally geared toward Shuro's known preference, with maybe a dash of responsible dungeoneer team leader-to-team leader "fyi the Mage IS around"!

.

Ok now for the bit I'm particularly obsessed with...

Shown: man forcibly slamming down an impenetrable mental barrier called "Doing What I Must" in between Traumatic Memories & Moral Qualms and Words, Tone, Facial Expressions, Body Language & Anything Else Someone Else Could Sense:

Shown: Man with aforementioned barrier firmly in place [but still possibly seeing horrors on the backs of his eyelids]:

(Also shown: Man increasingly wishing that this is all some sort of elaborate hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation and stress:

.

Then this!

Until proven otherwise, I'm pretty certain that this last panel is the exact moment Kabru's brain started bouncing like a yo-yo wrt Laios. Because!

Kabru invited himself into this conversation as part of his overall quest: to look for a decent King for the dungeon. [ABBA playing faintly in the background] He's officially given up "finding" rather than "becoming", but he hasn't 100% ruled it out as an option - the goal is to get one.

Imagine that Kabru's brain includes a little hexagon like the food matrix, but for necessary aspects of the new King of the Golden Kingdom. In order, Laios goes...

- up several notches in "Likely Ability to Kill Mad Mage" by having defeated the red dragon and met the Mage

- down probably 1 notch in Trustworthiness/Honesty(/Readability to Kabru Specifically, who is prepared to Manage a mediocre candidate if that's what it takes)

- plunges down in the meta-category of Will Prevent Another Utaya by plummeting like a Boeing in the technically-not-on-the-chart category of Triggers Kabru's Trauma by admitting - bragging! delightedly! - that he eats monsters. Kabru's trauma is centered around monsters eating people. What sort of horror is a person who eats monsters? (Yet, perhaps already starting to yo-yo: if monsters eating people is the ultimate evil, what is this reversal...?)

Then Kabru asks a few innocuous, friendly questions about this Absolute Horror, because that's what Kabru does: he lies through his teeth about his own opinions and discomfort in order to put others at ease and (thus) achieve his goals. Laios gives innocuous, friendly answers.

THEN: ORCS. This whole comic, we've had the debate about whether it's okay to eat humanoid monsters, with Laios begrudgingly agreeing to his party's refusal. And orcs aren't even humanoid monsters, they're full-on demihumans! Second cousins of tallmen!

Kabru actually has to take a moment to process this new depth of depravity which he swiftly assumes Laios has sunk to. I imagine WWII air raid sirens are going off in his brain. Laios is But then he leaps this horrific chasm, too, itchy though his knife hand may be - interestingly, his face isn't shown in the comic, but in the show, Kabru retains the exact same friendly, eagerly interested tone of voice when he asks, "What did they taste like?"

- (Sidenote: truly, in all of this, I'm most obsessed with Kabru's ability, willingness and determination to seemingly-blithely hopskotch and/or outright running-jump over any moral qualm for long enough to get the other guy to dig their own grave and/or let down their guard. Who even are you under your infinitely shifting mask, sir. Do you even know? Because I think some of what we've seen that's more "real" is part of the mask you wear to be the Hero Who Will Be King.)

And Laios realizes what he'd implied and says, alarmed at the misunderstanding (though it's not clear if that's for moral reasons or social awkwardness) but still smiling with excited pride, "No no!! We didn't eat them! Due to circumstances, we're currently working with them!"

With them! Laios is yoinked out of, if not the depths, then at least the utmost depths - while also snapping unexpectedly upward in Alliance-Building (pref. Interspecies, Local-Centric). Laios had already rated a 2, maybe 3/5 for his party makeup, but given his known lack of people skills, I can't imagine Kabru expected him to go any higher than that - and with orcs! Orcs who are maligned by everyone else; for whom the Island Lord regular offers a bounty!

Now, this IS predicated on the assumption that Kabru considers orcs a people who should be treated with like a legitimate, well, people, rather than killed like vermin. But I think I'm on solid ground, considering a) Kuro the kobold being a (mostly) respected member of his party and their secret late-night study-friendship; b) Kabru's harshly learned skepticism of the stories Elves tell about themselves and other races, which is where we've seen the heart of anti-orc sentiment; and c) Kabru thinks the Island Lord is a moron.

Mind you, I think the yo-yo-ing is relatively subconscious at this point, and won't start reaching an audible fever pitch until Kabru learns about the black magic in, oh, another 5 minutes or so.

...but I really need to go to bed, so I'll see what overanalysis I make of that tomorrow!

[ruinichii]

Yumei as a LI <3

A small in-game like drabble undercut!

You are on Cliff street. Several civic buildings are built here, including the town hall. The Ocean Breeze cafe looks out over the sea. A sign on the window reads: "Help Wanted." There's a path leading down to the beach. There's a lot of traffic. People are driving to work.

A lean woman is locked in the town pillory, she will be released in 23 hours.

Places of interest

(1) Watch pillory (0:10)

🏛️ (2) Mayor's Office (0:01)

🏖️ (3) Beach (0:05)

☕ (4) Cafe (0:01)<<

You are in Ocean Breeze Cafe. Most of the tables are full.

❓ (1) Ask for work

☕ (2) Buy coffee (0:02 £2) | - Stress | - Fatigue

🍾 (3) Buy Autumn Ale (0:10 £7) | - Stress | + Alcohol

🍦(4) Buy Milkshake to go (0:02 £3)

🥗 (5) Buy Fruit Salad (0:20 £5) | - Stress

🥞 (6) Buy pancakes (0:20 £10) | - Fatigue

🥯(7) Buy Deluxe Cream bun (0:20 £50) | - - Stress <<

☕ (8) Leave

You take a seat and order a cream bun, advertised on the menu as using "locally sourced milk." It soon arrives.

It's big, and bursting with cream. It's a struggle to eat without cream squeezing onto the plate at odd angles.

You don't succeed, but you don't mind. It's tasty, and leaves you feeling warm and contented.

(1) That's enough <<

(2) Lick the plate clean | - Stress

Time's are wasting, you stand to leave but a lean waiter slips you a plate of pastries and a tall glass of parfait. You wonder if there was mistake, you don't remember ordering this. There's a note attached to it.

💌 (1) Read the note | + love <<

(2) Leave.

The small letter is written in a pink sticky note. You recognize the handwriting despite how messy it is, you assume it's written in a haste. It reads:

"Hey милый!

I couldn't find the best way to hand this over to you in between tasks Sam hands me, so i had one of my coworkers to fetch it for me. You do not dislike sweet foods do you? If you are, i don't mind if you leave it.

You looked really tired so i decided to whip a parfait for you, hope it's to your liking!

Brush your teeth once you get home, and don't let the sugay treats destroy your teeth... Take care of yourself, kay? Remember to reward yourself with some rests once in a while.

Sincerely yours, Yumei ❤️"

(1) next <<

You unconsciously smile as you fold the note, tucking it into your clothes. You dig in to the pastries, you feel your mouth melting from the sweetness | - - - Stress

You hold the tall glass of Parfait into your hands, it's cold to the touch. Your heart feels light as you devour the Parfait, each bite is savory and addicting. You don't notice that you have finished the dessert in one go. You feel the urge to water the sweetness down. | - - - Fatigue

(1) Leave your seat.

You spot Yumei taking a customers order before she notices you as well. The two of you lock gaze until you blow her a kiss of appreciation. She catches it and rests her hand over her heart. | + Love

You are in Ocean Breeze Cafe. Most of the tables are full.

❓ (1) Ask for work

Yumei is more likely to help a stressed and/or fatigued Player, preventing them from passing out or worse.