#Why is cardio important?

[risaceofhearts]

I keep being like damn. When I started exercising I should have measured circumference, and not weight. I have not lost a meaningful amount of weight in kg since I started exercising a lot in January, but I've gotten smaller. (Well, I lost about 5, 5.5kg in 10 months, but I lost that weight at the start of the year, didn't regain it, and now I keep fluctuating in the same 5kg range)

But much more importantly than the number on the scale, I feel much better in my skin, I feel stronger, I AM stronger, my stamina has increased significantly, I am more flexible, and my back/neck/shoulder pain has decreased significantly.

Who the hell cares about the number on the scale? I am not going to starve myself for a number to change. And besides, I'm gaining muscle mass, so that number is bull anyway. I don't want to starve myself and I don't want to keep myself from having my little treats, so I watch my protein intake and call it a day. A wonderful way to live.

Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

[restricted-access]

in my macro freak era & constantly torn between “i don’t have caffeine after noon!/try not to have after 10am!” and wanting to drown in celsius/gfuel every day for the appetite suppressant

[productivefairy]

your guide to build a morning routine:

So, do u wanna build a morning routine because it can give your day a structure, boost productivity and just makes you feel better? Here is how :-

start your day atleast 2-1.5 hour before your work or school. so u are not in a rush.

your morning routine should be realistic so that u can stick to it. cause' lets not lie the morning routine u see your fav wellness influencer have is hard to do.

Consistency is the key. The more days you follow your routine the more it becomes as habit.

Dont use phone or social media during mornings There are four pillars essential to have a morning routine which is healthy for your body and mind.

1.Things that keeps your body healthy.

2.Things that keeps your mind healthy.

3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.

4.Things that you enjoy.

Lets talk about each one, one by one:-

Things that keep you healthy :-

i) Drink water first thing in morning. If you dont like the taste of water. Add lemon or lime in it or maybe citrus infused water. But please drink water it'll help you sm.

ii)Do stretching, yoga, cardio, pilates, hot girl walks. Basically anything that keeps your body moving. It boosts productivity and puts you in good mood.

iii) eat healthy. Well it doesnt mean count all your calories or drink nasty juices NO. This means eating a healthy breakfast that will keep you full.

iv) Do your skincare and take shower in mornings.

v) Brush and floss your teeth. Oral healths are often neglected but hot girl like you shouldnt do that.

2.Things that keep your mind healthy :-

i) Meditating. Meditate for atleast 5-10 mins before starting your work day. It just stops the rush going in your mind. you can do guided meditation.

ii) If you believe in this then you can do affirmations in front of mirror. universalitgirlblog2 has some amazing affirmations you should check it out.

iii) Journal. If you are someone who enjoys journal then do it as it can set the tone of your day.

iv) . Make to do lists in morning it helps you declutter your day.

3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.

i)If you happen to have windows in your room then open them up. Lets the wind and sun come through.

ii)Make your bed. Its a kind gesture toward yourself and a less messy bed can fasten up your productivity.

iii) wash your breakfast dishes. or atleast the plate you ate in. It helps you not have a pile of dishes.

iv) optional but take a dusting cloth and play a song as your timer and just clean the surfaces which seems to have dirt. Just 3-4 mins and you'll feel better.

4.Things that you enjoy:-

This part is super important cause' if you follow a morning routine you deserve a reward and if one someday when u are not your best even then you deserve pamper. I dont know you or your intrest but you do so just add what you like in your routine. You wanna read that book go ahead read it, grab a starbucks drink on your way home, cook yourself a beautiful breakfast, get dressed as main character, water your plants or maybe just stare at the sky admiring them.

What do you do when you are not in the mood or you are on your periods or feeling underweather?

i) Make an altearnate easy routine to do which mostly consist of things that you like.

ii)Do only first step of your regular routine like you dont wanna excercise then just play the video of routine that you follow.

Additional tips-

ROMANTICIZE. This is the key. Enjoying and being grateful for most mundane moments of your day. Buy yourself a flowers. Acts as you are on vogue while doing skincare. Blast your fav playlist in morning.

Dont overwhelm yourself. You cant change your life in a day but you can add habits each day one by one.

Remember why you are doing this. You are doing this cause you love yourself thats why you wanna give everything to your body and your mind to make it its best version.

I try my best to make these post as concise as I can but I just feel like everything is necessary and dont wanna miss out on anything. I hope this helps.

[readsaboutreid]

Everything To Me | S.R.

summary: Spencer is in love with his coworker and best friend and goes all out to celebrate her birthday on the day after when she catches her boyfriend in bed with another woman when they arrive home from a case.

this is 100% season 1 spencer

warning: cheating, making out, angst/comfort

“(Y/N)! Wait up!” Spencer stumbled, tripping over his feet as he hurried to catch the elevator with his friend. He covered the distance from his desk to the elevator doors in record time as (Y/N) hit the button to presumably hold open the doors for him. He slid in and stood next to her while panting lightly. He really needed to do some cardio, he noted to himself.

“Wow, with speed like that I should start calling you Barry Allen,” she giggled, making Spencer's heart flutter in the best and most terrifying way and drawing a laugh out of his throat (even though he didn’t really get the reference). He couldn't help it when all he could think about was how much he wanted to hear that laugh every day for the rest of his life.

“Sorry,” he flashed a sheepish smile at her and ducked his head a little bit as he felt his cheeks heat up slightly.

“Hey, uh, I was wondering if you had any, uh, any plans for the evening? There’s a Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon and I know that’s your favorite Star Trek series so I was thinking maybe we could hang out and maybe get some takeout?"

"That sounds like it would be a hell of a time," she began. Spencer could already feel the incoming, "but I promised Warren I'd spend the evening with him since it's my birthday and all." Spencer had to keep himself from making a face at the mention of her asshole of a boyfriend, not wanting to upset her, and so instead he opted to skip over that and react to the next part of her statement.

"Wait it's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything? We all would have done something to celebrate before going home today," Spencer started kicking himself internally. How could he not have known today was her birthday? The two of them had become attached at the hip pretty much since she started at the BAU 4 months ago. She had even celebrated his own birthday with him and the rest of the team.

“Hey, it’s okay! You don’t need to feel bad or anything, I tend to just treat my birthday like it’s any other day so I often just don't even tell anyone when it is,” she shot him a sweet smile in an attempt to assure him that it was okay but it didn't make him feel any less guilty.

Spencer's heart sank a bit at the thought of not being able to celebrate (Y/N)'s birthday with her, but he knew Warren was important to her regardless of how much Spencer and the team disliked him. He mustered a smile and nodded, "No worries, spending time with Warren sounds great. Happy birthday, (Y/N). I hope your day is as wonderful as you are."

(Y/N) blushed at the compliment, waving it off modestly. The elevator dinged softly, indicating they had reached the ground floor. As the doors slid open, they stepped out into the bustling lobby of the FBI building. Spencer glanced at his watch and realized it was already late in the evening.

"Well, I should let you get going. Have a fantastic birthday night with Warren," Spencer said, trying to hide his disappointment behind a cheerful facade.

"Thank you, Spencer. I really appreciate it. We should definitely catch that Star Trek marathon another time," she replied with a warm smile before turning to head towards the exit.

Later in the evening, Spencer found himself sitting on his worn-out couch, a container of lukewarm Chinese takeout resting in his lap as he absentmindedly watched reruns of Star Trek. His mind kept wandering back to the encounter in the elevator with (Y/N) earlier that day. The missed opportunity to spend her birthday with her weighed heavily on his heart.

Just as Captain Picard was about to make a diplomatic decision that could change the course of an entire star system, Spencer's phone rang, jolting him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the screen to see (Y/N)'s name flashing brightly.

With a mixture of confusion and worry, he answered the call. "Hey, (Y/N), is everything okay?" His heart clenched at the sound of her quiet sobs on the other end of the line.

"Spencer," her voice cracked, "can you... can you come pick me up?"

Without another word, Spencer sprang into action. "Of course, (Y/N). I'll be right there. Where are you?" Spencer's voice was filled with concern as he quickly grabbed his keys and rushed out the door, leaving behind the half-eaten container of Chinese takeout and the flickering TV screen showing Star Trek.

As he drove through the quiet streets towards (Y/N)'s location, thoughts raced through Spencer's mind. Why was she crying? What had happened? He couldn't bear the thought of her in distress, especially on her birthday.

Finally reaching the spot where she said she would be, Spencer spotted (Y/N) sitting on a bench outside of a sketchy looking apartment complex, her head buried in her hands. He parked the car and hurried over to her, his heart breaking at the sight of her tear-streaked face.

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" Spencer knelt down beside her, gently placing a hand on her back. She looked up at him with red, puffy eyes, and he felt a crack in his chest

as her trembling voice filled the cool night air.

"I... I waited for Warren at my apartment, but he never showed up or called. I got worried and went to his place," she paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, "I let myself in with my key, and... and I found him in bed with another woman."

Shock rippled through Spencer as he struggled to process her words. The image of (Y/N) standing in the doorway of Warren's apartment, witnessing such a betrayal, tore at his heart. Anger flared within him, directed not only at Warren but at the unfairness of it all. How could someone as kind and genuine as (Y/N) be treated so callously?

Without hesitation, Spencer pulled (Y/N) into a tight embrace, offering her solace in the warmth of his arms. He felt her tears soak into his shirt as she clung to him, seeking comfort amidst the storm of emotions raging within her.

As she sobbed into his chest he felt tears pricking his own eyes. He gently cupped her head and started stroking her hair in an attempt to soothe her before saying, “let’s get you into the car, okay?”

As Spencer led (Y/N) to his car, he couldn't shake the image of her devastated face from his mind. The weight of her heartbreak hung heavy in the air, suffocating him with a sense of helplessness. He opened the car door for her, watching as she settled into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N)," Spencer murmured softly as he started the engine, casting a sympathetic glance her way. "You deserve so much better than this."

(Y/N) let out a bitter laugh, devoid of any humor. "I should have known better than to get my hopes up. This is why I never celebrate my birthday. It’s more trouble than it’s worth," she confessed, her voice laced with resignation and nothing more than a whisper by the very end. Spencer's heart clenched at her words. He wanted nothing more than to ease her pain, to show her that she deserved all the love and happiness in the world.

"You deserve to be celebrated, (Y/N)," Spencer said with conviction, his eyes meeting hers in the dim light of the car. "No one has the right to make you feel otherwise. You are kind, beautiful, and deserving of all the love and joy that life has to offer."

Spencer's words echoed in (Y/N)'s mind as they drove through the quiet streets of the city, the soft glow of streetlights casting a serene ambiance over the car. The heaviness of her heart began to lift ever so slightly, buoyed by the sincerity in Spencer's eyes and the comfort of his presence beside her.

As they reached a stoplight, Spencer turned to (Y/N) with a tentative smile. "How about we make a detour?" he suggested gently. "There's this little ice cream shop a few blocks away. Maybe some ice cream might help lift your spirits."

(Y/N) managed a small smile in return, touched by Spencer's thoughtfulness. The simple gesture felt like a ray of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds that had gathered around her heart. "That sounds nice," she replied softly, her voice still tinged with sadness but with a glimmer of gratitude shining through.

They parked near the ice cream shop, its cheerful neon sign beckoning them inside. The bell above the door jingled as they stepped in, greeted by the sweet scent of freshly made waffle cones and a colorful display of ice cream flavors. Spencer guided (Y/N) to a cozy booth by the window, where they could watch the world pass by as they indulged in their frozen treats.

As they savored their ice cream, the heaviness in (Y/N)'s heart began to thaw, melting away with each spoonful of creamy sweetness. Spencer listened attentively as she shared snippets of her favorite childhood memories, her voice soft and wistful against the backdrop of cheerful chatter from other customers.

Once they had finished their ice cream, Spencer suggested another detour. "There's this little vintage store down the street that always has some classic movies on sale. How about we pick up one of your favorites and head back to my place to watch it?”

(Y/N) hesitated before saying, “I don’t know about picking up anything from a store but is that Star Trek marathon still on?” The slight amount of hope in her voice made Spencer’s heart flutter with a mix of relief and warmth. He had been longing for a chance to make her smile, to see a glimmer of happiness light up her eyes once more.

Nodding enthusiastically, he replied, "Absolutely! We can swing by the store another time. For now, let's head straight to my place for that Star Trek marathon." The anticipation in (Y/N)'s eyes was palpable as they made their way to Spencer's cozy apartment. The familiar scent of old books and fresh laundry greeted them as they stepped inside, the soft glow of string lights casting a warm ambiance over the living room.

Spencer turned the TV back on, dimming the lights to create a cozy home-theater atmosphere. They settled on the couch, surrounded by plush pillows and soft blankets, basking in the nostalgic thrill of the sci-fi classic unfolding on the screen.

As the episode played on, Spencer got up and reheated the Chinese food from earlier and putting it on plates for each of them. He grabbed himself a fork and got one of the sets of chopsticks from the restaurant for (Y/N). As he made his way back to the living room he saw (Y/N) happily rocking back and forth as she watched Data and Geordi share another one of their intriguing engineering discussions. Spencer couldn't help but smile at the sight, a flicker of contentment lighting up his own heart as he handed (Y/N) the plate with her food and settled back onto the couch beside her.

Between bites of General Tso's chicken and sips of hot tea, Spencer couldn't help but feel a sense of peace settle over him. The soft glow of the TV cast shadows across the room, creating a cocoon of warmth and familiarity around them. The gentle hum of the spaceship's engines on screen seemed to lull them both into a comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional chuckle or comment about the characters.

After a few episodes, Spencer found himself stealing glances at (Y/N) out of the corner of his eye, admiring the soft curve of her profile as she watched intently. He could see a spark of joy in her eyes, a fleeting moment of escape from the weight of unspoken emotions that lingered between them. Sensing a rare moment of vulnerability, Spencer cleared his throat softly before turning to (Y/N) with a gentle smile.

"Hey, (Y/N)," he began, his voice soft and tentative. "I was wondering... If you could have done anything for your birthday today, what would it have been?"

(Y/N) paused, her gaze shifting from the screen to Spencer. Her expression softened as she considered the question, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. "You know, I've always wanted to visit the Smithsonian," she murmured, her eyes distant with longing. "And maybe the Botanic Gardens too... It's on my list of things to do someday."

Spencer nodded, committing her words to memory as he filed away the simple desires she shared. He made a mental note to himself, silently vowing to make those dreams a reality for her someday.

As they finished the last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Spencer noticed the clock on the wall ticking closer to midnight. With a sense of reluctance, he turned to (Y/N) and said, "I hate to cut this short, but it's getting late. I should call a cab for you."

(Y/N) looked up at him, a mixture of disappointment and understanding in her eyes. She nodded quietly, gathering her things and slipping on her coat. As Spencer dialed for a cab, he couldn't shake off the feeling of missed opportunities hanging heavy in the air.

The subdued sound of the approaching cab echoed through the quiet street outside. Spencer opened the door for (Y/N), his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer than necessary. "I'll be picking you up at 11 am tomorrow so be dressed and ready," he said, surprising both himself and (Y/N) with his sudden declaration.

Confusion flashed across her face as she stammered, "But... why? Where are we going?"

"Just make sure you’re ready,” he smiled, ideas blossoming in his mind as he decided he was going to show her what her birthday meant to him. He closed the cab door behind her and waved as the car drove off before turning on his heel and heading back inside, preparing to show his best friend the time of her life tomorrow.

Spencer woke up at 8 am the next morning to the soft rays of sunlight filtering through the curtains, illuminating his room in a golden hue. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stretched his arms above his head and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Today was going to be special; he was determined to make it a day that (Y/N) would never forget.

Remembering her mention once that morning glories were her favorite flower, Spencer decided to start by weaving a delicate flower crown out of the vibrant blooms he had picked from his backyard garden. As he carefully intertwined the petals and vines into a crown fit for a queen, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing (Y/N) wear it.

After finishing the flower crown, Spencer's thoughts drifted to a memory she had shared with him long ago. Before her parents had passed away, they used to build her a pillow fort and hang fairy lights in it on special occasions. Determined to recreate that sense of childhood magic for her, Spencer set about constructing a fort in his living room. He gathered every pillow and blanket he could find, stacking them strategically to form the walls of the fort. With a bit of effort and creativity, he managed to fashion an elaborate yet cozy hideaway filled with soft cushions and twinkling fairy lights. His PhD in Engineering was finally seeing some use.

As he stepped back to admire his handiwork, Spencer's heart swelled with a mix of emotions. The soft glow of the lights cast a warm, inviting aura over the fort, creating an atmosphere of whimsy and nostalgia. He could almost picture the look of wonder on (Y/N)'s face when she saw it, and the thought filled him with a sense of anticipation.

With the fort completed, Spencer glanced at the clock and realized it was almost time to pick up (Y/N). Quickly changing into a clean shirt and vest and grabbing the flower crown he had made earlier, he made his way out the door, excitement bubbling in his chest.

As he drove to (Y/N)'s apartment, Spencer's mind was a whirlwind of nerves and anticipation. He parked the car a few blocks away, wanting to give himself a moment to compose himself before their day together began. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out onto the sidewalk and started the short walk to her building.

The street was alive with the sounds of the city waking up - the distant hum of traffic, the chatter of early risers going about their day. But in Spencer's mind, all he could focus on was the image of (Y/N) in his mind, wearing the flower crown he had made for her.

Finally reaching her apartment building, he climbed the steps to her floor, his heart pounding in his chest. Standing in front of her door, he took one last deep breath before lifting his hand to knock.

The sound echoed through the hallway, reverberating in Spencer's ears as he waited with bated breath. After what felt like an eternity, he heard footsteps approaching from inside the apartment. The soft shuffling of footsteps grew louder, and Spencer's pulse quickened in anticipation. Suddenly, the gentle click of the door being unlocked filled the air, and it slowly swung open to reveal (Y/N) standing before him.

She looked breathtaking. (Y/N) was wearing a simple yet elegant dress with cute buttons lining the front and a delicate peter pan collar. Her chin length bob was slightly curved under her chin and her bangs fell across her forehead in such a perfect way and Spencer looked away quickly, his cheeks burning when he realized he was staring. For a moment, they stood there in silence, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.

Then, Spencer slowly brought forward the flower crown he had hidden behind his back, holding it out towards (Y/N) with a shaky hand. “Happy birthday," he finally whispered, his voice barely above a breath as he nervously offered her the crown. The soft petals of the flowers brushed against her fingertips, and (Y/N)'s eyes widened in surprise and delight as she took the flower crown from Spencer's hand. A small gasp escaped her lips as she held the delicate creation, a mix of awe and gratitude shining in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Spencer, it's beautiful," she murmured as she gently placed it atop her head, her voice soft with emotion. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a golden glow that illuminated her features, making her look even more ethereal. In that moment, caught in the gentle morning light, Spencer felt a swell of affection for her that threatened to overwhelm him.

After a beat of silence filled with unspoken words hanging in the air between them, Spencer cleared his throat and offered a hesitant smile. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, his heart beating a little faster at the prospect of spending the day with her.

(Y/N) returned his smile with a nod, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she looped her arm through his, the flower crown perched delicately on her head. They strolled down the bustling street, the city waking up around them with a cacophony of sounds and scents. Spencer couldn't help but steal glances at (Y/N), her presence beside him filling him with a warmth he hadn't felt before.

Their first stop was a cozy bookshop just across the street from her apartment building. The bell above the door chimed softly as they entered, and the scent of aged paper and ink enveloped them in a comforting embrace. Rows upon rows of books lined the shelves, each one whispering promises of new worlds and adventures.

"Pick out as many as you'd like," Spencer said, gesturing to the endless array of titles surrounding them. (Y/N)'s eyes widened in delight, a soft gasp escaping her lips as she wandered through the aisles, her fingers trailing over spines in search of stories. He watched as she made her way through the shelves until she reached the SciFi/Fantasy and Horror section and begin removing books from the shelves, reading the backs and either adding them to the stack in her arms or placing them back on the shelves.

Spencer couldn't help but admire the way (Y/N) immersed herself in the world of books, her eyes alight with a passion that made her even more enchanting. She moved with purpose, carefully selecting each book as if it held a piece of her soul within its pages. His heart swelled with fondness for her, her love for literature reflecting a depth to her character that he found endlessly captivating.

As (Y/N) returned back to him, her arms filled with a stack of books that seemed to reach towards the sky, she gave him a sheepish smile. "I might have gotten a bit carried away," she admitted, a hint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “Could you help me narrow things down a little bit?”

Spencer chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement. "No need to apologize. Let's see what treasures you've found," he said, reaching out to take a few books from her arms. Together, they perused the titles she had chosen, discussing the plots and themes. After they had no luck in narrowing down the pile, Spencer scooped them all up into his arms in a stack and began making his way to the checkout stand.

"Why bother narrowing it down?" Spencer's voice was filled with a playful lilt as he carried the stack of books towards the checkout counter, (Y/N) trailing behind him with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Impressive selection," the bookstore clerk commented as he rung up the stack of books, each title a window into (Y/N)'s interests and desires. (Y/N) beamed at the compliment, her eyes shining with confusion and gratitude as Spencer pulled out his wallet and paid before she could even reach for her own from her bag.

As they left the bookshop, the sun had climbed higher in the sky, casting a warm glow over the crowded streets. The sounds of the city swirled around them—honking cars, lively chatter, and the distant rumble of a passing train. Spencer glanced over at (Y/N) walking beside him, her face illuminated by a soft radiance.

(Y/N) quickly unlocked the door and placed the bags of books onto her dining room table before they walked back outside. Spencer patiently waited as she locked her door before holding his arm out again for her to grab on to as he lead her to his car.

As they arrived at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, Spencer's steps were light with anticipation. The air was alive with the promise of discovery, and he couldn't wait to share this world of wonders with (Y/N). The museum loomed before them like a giant treasure trove, its grand architecture a testament to human ingenuity and ambition.

Stepping inside, they were greeted by a vast hall filled with aircraft suspended from the ceiling like metallic birds frozen in flight. (Y/N)'s eyes widened in awe, her gaze flitting from one exhibit to another as Spencer led her through the maze of history and innovation.

"This is the Wright Flyer," Spencer said, pointing towards the iconic biplane that started it all. "It's incredible to think that this simple machine paved the way for all modern aviation."

As they moved deeper into the museum, Spencer's voice became a gentle murmur of knowledge and passion. He regaled (Y/N) with stories of astronauts who dared to venture beyond Earth's atmosphere and the technological advancements that made it all possible. (Y/N) listened with rapt attention, her eyes shimmering with wonder and admiration for both the exhibits and the man beside her.

Each artifact held a story, a piece of history waiting to be unraveled. Spencer's explanations brought life to the static displays, turning them into vibrant tales of human courage and scientific progress. He pointed out the intricate details of each spacecraft, each spacesuit, each photograph, as if they were sacred relics in a grand temple of human achievement.

As they entered the lunar module exhibit, (Y/N) gasped in awe at the sight of the actual spacecraft that had touched the surface of the moon as well as a piece of rock from the moon that was free for visitors to touch. She reached out a hand as if to touch it, but stopped herself, as if afraid to disturb the fragile connection between past and present.

Spencer noticed her hesitation and smiled softly. "It's okay, you can touch it," he encouraged. "Feel the history in your fingers."

(Y/N) tentatively reached out and brushed her fingertips against the cool, pitted surface of the moon rock. A jolt of electricity seemed to pass through her as she made contact, connecting her to a distant world that had once seemed so unreachable. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, overwhelmed by the weight of history and the magnitude of human achievement.

Spencer watched her with a mix of admiration and fondness, his heart swelling with a bittersweet ache at the sight of her emotional response. He longed to reach out and comfort her, to share in this moment of vulnerability and connection, but he held back, knowing that some experiences were meant to be felt in solitude.

As they moved on to the space shuttle exhibit, Spencer's voice took on a reverent tone as he explained the intricacies of space travel and the courage of those who dared to venture into the unknown. (Y/N) listened intently, hanging onto his every word as if they were precious treasures. The stories of the astronauts and their daring adventures resonated with her in a way she couldn't quite explain. It was as if each tale of exploration and discovery tugged at something deep within her, awakening a yearning for the stars that had long been dormant.

After exploring the wonders of the cosmos in the Air and Space Museum, Spencer suggested they visit the Museum of Natural History next. (Y/N) eagerly agreed, her curiosity piqued by the promise of delving into the mysteries of the natural world.

The moment they stepped into the museum, a wave of earthy scents enveloped them—the musty aroma of ancient fossils, the fresh green fragrance of preserved plants, and the tangy scent of minerals. (Y/N) took a deep breath, savoring the rich tapestry of odors that surrounded her as they ventured deeper into the exhibits.

Spencer guided her through halls filled with towering skeletons of dinosaurs, exotic taxidermy specimens, and sparkling gemstones that seemed to whisper tales of ancient worlds and forgotten creatures. His voice, now a gentle hum of fascination, wove intricate stories of the natural wonders before them, each exhibit a chapter in the never-ending book of Earth's history.

With every step, (Y/N) felt herself being transported back in time, her senses overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, and scents of a world long gone yet preserved within the walls of the museum. She marveled at the sheer diversity of life that had once inhabited the planet, from the majestic bones of a towering T-Rex to the delicate wings of a butterfly frozen in time.

As they reached the Butterfly Pavilion, (Y/N)'s eyes lit up with childlike excitement. She walked among the lush greenery, her fingers gently trailing over velvety leaves and vibrant petals as she inspected each plant with keen interest. Spencer watched her with a soft smile, his admiration for her knowledge and passion shining in his eyes.

"It’s like stepping into a living kaleidoscope," (Y/N) breathed, her voice hushed with wonder. "Each butterfly and moth, every plant here tells a story of adaptation and survival. Look at this one," she gestured to a plump monarch butterfly sipping nectar from a bright orange bloom, "did you know they migrate for thousands of miles to escape the cold?"

Spencer was happy to listen intently to her spout knowledge that he already held, captivated by the gleam in her eyes and the animated gestures that accompanied each explanation. He found himself falling even more deeply under her spell as she shared her wealth of knowledge, her voice growing more animated with each tidbit of information.

As they wandered through the pavilion, (Y/N) pointed out the intricate patterns on the butterflies' wings, explaining their purpose and significance with a mix of scientific precision and unbridled enthusiasm. Spencer couldn't help but be swept up in her passion, feeling a warmth bloom in his chest at the sight of her so fully immersed in her element. Her rarely used PhDs in Botany and Microbiology shone brightly through her words and actions as she explained the importance of every living thing within the enclosure down to the network of fungal mycelium in the dirt, making Spencer see her in a whole new light. The way she spoke about each species of butterfly or moth, each plant or fungus they saw, showcased not only her expertise but also her deep love and respect for the natural world.

Spencer found himself hanging onto her every word, just as she had done with his tales of space exploration earlier. He admired the way her eyes sparkled with excitement, the way her hands gestured animatedly as if conducting a symphony of knowledge and wonder.

As they reached a secluded corner of the pavilion, (Y/N) knelt down beside a cluster of milkweed plants, her voice soft and reverent as she explained their importance to the monarch butterflies. Spencer watched her intently, a sense of peace settling over him as he observed her in her element. He then checked his watch, his eyes widening in realization as he saw the time. They were going to be late for the dinner reservation he had managed to secure at the new Italian restaurant (Y/N) had been longing to try for months. With a gentle touch on her shoulder, Spencer interrupted her explanation about the symbiotic relationship between the milkweed plants and monarch butterflies.

"(Y/N), as much as I hate to interrupt your fascinating lesson, we should start heading out. We have a dinner reservation," Spencer said apologetically, a hint of regret in his tone.

Startled by the mention of dinner, (Y/N) straightened up, her eyes widening in surprise before a sheepish smile crossed her face. "Oh gosh, I completely lost track of time! I'm so sorry, Spencer. Let's go."

They hurried through the Butterfly Pavilion, their steps quickening as they made their way to the exit. Spencer opened the passenger door for her as they approached his car, and they soon found themselves seated inside as Spencer started the engine. The warmth of the setting sun bathed the interior in a golden glow, casting long shadows across (Y/N)'s face as she fastened her seatbelt. She glanced over at Spencer, her eyes shining with a mix of excitement and anticipation for the evening ahead.

The drive to the Italian restaurant was filled with comfortable silence, the only sound the soft hum of the radio playing a mellow jazz tune in the background. Spencer stole glances at (Y/N) from time to time, admiring how the fading light accentuated her features, casting her in a soft, ethereal glow.

Arriving at the restaurant, they were greeted by the tantalizing aroma of garlic and tomato sauce wafting through the air. The cozy ambiance of the place enveloped them as they were led to their table, nestled in a corner with a flickering candle casting dancing shadows on their faces.

As they perused the menu, (Y/N)'s eyes widened in delight as she scanned the offerings, her excitement palpable. Spencer couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm, feeling a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with the romantic candlelight surrounding them. This moment, this simple act of sharing a meal with her, felt like a glimpse into the life he had always wanted but never dared to reach for.

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with laughter and shared stories. (Y/N)'s eyes sparkled with joy as she recounted a hilarious mishap at work, and Spencer found himself hanging onto her every word once again. It was moments like these that made him forget about his own worries and fears, immersing himself in the present moment.

As the waiter brought out their food, the table was soon filled with plates of steaming pasta and fragrant sauces. The first bite sent a burst of flavors dancing on (Y/N)'s tongue, and she couldn't help but close her eyes in bliss. Spencer watched her savor each mouthful, her expression a symphony of delight and contentment. The flickering candlelight played on her face, accentuating the curve of her smile and the sparkle in her eyes.

Spencer's gaze lingered on her, a sense of longing tugging at his heart. He wanted to freeze this moment in time, to etch it into his memory forever. The warmth of the restaurant, the soft glow of the candle, the sound of (Y/N)'s laughter – all of it wove together into a tapestry of perfect happiness.

But beneath the surface of their shared joy, Spencer felt a pang of bittersweet realization. This was just a moment, a fleeting interlude in their lives. Tomorrow, they would return to their separate paths, their separate dreams.

As (Y/N) reached for her glass of wine, her hand brushed against his, sending a jolt of electricity through him. Their eyes met, and in that brief moment of connection, Spencer felt a surge of courage wash over him. As they finished their meals, the waiter returned to their table with a flourish, presenting a tray of decadent desserts that Spencer had secretly ordered while (Y/N) was in the bathroom. A smile played on his lips as he watched her eyes widen in surprise and delight at the unexpected treat.

"Spencer, you didn't have to do this," she murmured, her voice soft with gratitude.

"It's my pleasure," he replied, his tone gentle yet tinged with a hint of nervousness. "Would you like to enjoy it here or take it to go and eat it while watching something?"

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment, her gaze flickering between the cozy restaurant ambiance and the promise of a quiet moment elsewhere. After a brief pause, she decided, "Let's take it to go."

Spencer nodded in agreement and politely requested the bill. As he settled the payment, a sense of resolve settled in him, guiding his actions as they left the restaurant. The cool night air caressed their skin as they walked towards Spencer's car parked just around the corner. He opened the passenger door for her, a gesture that was both chivalrous and intimate.

As they drove through the city streets, (Y/N) couldn't shake off the feeling of curiosity that gnawed at her mind. Why were they headed to Spencer's apartment instead of hers, as she had anticipated? Her thoughts raced, trying to find an explanation for this unexpected turn of events.

Upon arriving at his apartment building, Spencer handed her the to-go boxes with their desserts before unlocking the door. A sense of bewilderment washed over (Y/N) as she followed him inside. Before she could voice her confusion, Spencer moved behind her and gently covered her eyes with his hands, guiding her further into his apartment.

The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air as (Y/N) let herself be led by Spencer through the dimly lit hallway. Her heart raced with a mix of anticipation and curiosity, her trust in him unwavering as he guided her with careful steps. The soft shuffle of their feet echoed in the corridor, creating a rhythm that seemed to match the beat of her own pulse.

After what felt like an eternity of darkness behind her closed eyelids, Spencer's hands finally left (Y/N)'s eyes, revealing a mesmerizing sight before her. As she blinked away the temporary blindness, a gasp escaped her lips at the magical scene that unfolded in front of her.

The room was transformed into a whimsical wonderland – an elaborate pillow fort stretched across the space, twinkling with fairy lights that cast a warm, inviting glow. Soft blankets cascaded down like waterfalls, creating nooks and crannies that held the promise of cozy comfort. The air was scented with old books, eucalyptus, and lavender, adding to the ethereal atmosphere that surrounded them.

Spencer watched (Y/N) with bated breath as she took in the sight before her. The flickering lights danced across her face, illuminating the awe and wonder reflected in her eyes. It was a moment frozen in time, suspended between reality and a dream.

"Happy birthday, (Y/N)," Spencer's voice was barely a whisper, filled with a vulnerability that he had never dared to show before.

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes, moved by the effort and thoughtfulness he had put into creating this enchanting surprise. She turned to face him, her heart overflowing with emotions she struggled to put into words.

"Spencer, this is... it's perfect," she finally managed to say, her voice trembling with emotion. She reached out to grasp his hand, holding onto it as though afraid this magical moment would slip away if she let go.

As they settled into the cocoon of blankets and pillows, Spencer grabbed his laptop from his desk and popped a DVD into the disc player. The opening to a movie he had never seen but had heard her talk about multiple times, Clueless, played in the background but all he could do was look at her. Under the twinkling of the fairy lights he could almost swear she had to be a fairy herself. That’s the only thing he could think of that would explain her beauty.

As the movie played on (Y/N) explained to Spencer that it was actually an adaptation of her favorite novel by Jane Austen, Emma, which did little to make him feel the main character was more likeable but watching her happily chatter about the movie filled him with a sense of comfort and affection. This is how it should always be, he thought to himself, wrapping his arms around her as she settled against his chest.

They sat and cuddled in a comfortable silence until it was broken by her voice, soft and timid as she said, “hey Spence?”

“Hm?” He hummed into her hair, his eyes closed.

“Why did you do all of this?” She queried, sounding like she was on the verge of tears, which immediately pulled Spencer from his half asleep haze.

Spencer thought about his next words carefully, taking so long that (Y/N) was about to ask if he had fallen asleep before he finally responded. “After seeing you so heartbroken last night and seeing how Warren just tossed you aside like you didn’t matter I just felt like I should show you how much it means to me that you exist." His voice was gentle, barely a whisper as he confessed the depth of his feelings for her.

(Y/N) felt her breath catch in her throat at his words. The vulnerability in his voice touched her heart in a way she had never experienced before. She turned to look into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and care reflected back at her.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she reflexively leaned into his hand as he reached to cup her cheek, caressing it with a tenderness that spoke volumes. "Spencer," she murmured, her voice filled with emotion, "you didn’t have to—I’m not worth all this—I-I don’t—"

He placed a finger on her lips, silencing her words. "That’s what I’ve spent all day trying to show you, (Y/N). You are worth it. You are worth everything to me," he whispered, his gaze unwavering.

In that moment, (Y/N) felt a rush of emotions swell within her, a mix of disbelief and overwhelming gratitude. Her heart pounded in her chest as she gazed into Spencer's eyes, seeing a depth of love and sincerity that she had never expected to find. The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, wrapping around them like a warm embrace.

As they sat there, suspended in time, (Y/N) felt a gentle tug at her heart urging her to lean forward. She hesitated for a moment, uncertainty clouding her mind as she debated the implications of such a gesture. Could she allow herself to be vulnerable again after everything she had been through? Was it worth risking her heart for the possibility of something more?

But before she could overthink it any further, Spencer's gaze softened even more as he leaned in towards her. In the briefest moment of hesitation, his lips hovered centimeters away from hers, silently asking for permission. And just as he began to pull back, (Y/N) plunged forward, closing the distance between them as she pressed her lips against Spencer's. It was a tender, tentative kiss filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that had lingered between them for so long. The world seemed to stand still as they shared this intimate moment, their hearts beating in harmony.

Spencer was momentarily stunned by the sudden turn of events, but as he felt (Y/N)'s warmth against his lips, all doubts and insecurities melted away. When they finally pulled away, they were both met with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. There was a charged energy in the air, a newfound connection that sparked between them like a flame igniting in the darkness.

"(Y/N)," Spencer whispered, his voice barely above a breath as he searched her eyes for confirmation.

(Y/N) simply smiled, a radiant expression that lit up her face with joy and relief. “I love you, Spencer,” falls from her lips before she crashes them back against his.

[tetzoro]

self indulgent fluff because this man makes me yearn hehe divider by @/cafekitsune ! — WC : 748

“noooo, tetsu.” you clutch onto him tighter, head still resting on his chest. you can hear the rumble of his laugh as he eases back down into his spot right next to you. “don’t go.”

“i have to, sweetheart.” kuroo rubs your back tenderly, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head. it was a weeknight and both of you had to be up early for work in the morning.

“you don’t want to stay?” a childish question that you can’t help but ask, a pout lining your lips. you must look absolutely pitiful judging by the look he’s giving you.

“you know i want to.” his arms tighten around you in a small apology. you can sense the dreaded ‘but’ ready to spill from the tip of his tongue so you beat him to the punch.

“so stay.” you grin up at him, chin resting on his chest. the close proximity has his eyes softening around the edges, mouth opening and closing as he tries to explain his reasoning for going. but all logic gets thrown at the window when he catches the hopeful look you cast at him.

“okay.” kuroo gives in. how could he not? saying no to you was an impossible task. “i’ll just get up earlier so i can go home and change.”

“yay! thank you tetsu.” you jolt up, planting kisses all over his face. he can’t help but laugh at your sudden burst of energy, relishing in all the love you pour onto him.

“of course.” kuroo gives you a kiss on the lips, pulling back just so he could see your smile. “im the best boyfriend ever after all.”

“yeah, yeah.” you giggle.

the two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, your mind beginning to wander a little as an idea pops in your head. it’s almost like he can see the gears turning, a little lightbulb popping up and demanding attention.

“maybe…” you start but trail off, losing whatever nerve you had.

“maybe?” kuroo gently caresses your cheek, encouraging you to continue.

“maybe you could keep some work clothes here? you know…” you trail off again. “you know so you don’t have to rush home to change in the future.”

“and show up to work together?” he grins, sitting up, back resting against the headboard as he pulls you into his lap. “my my, what a scandal. what will the people say?”

“tetsu, i’m pretty sure the whole office knows we’re dating.” you roll your eyes.

kuroo’s eyebrows dramatically shot up far behind his bangs. he was well versed in whatever drama was circulating around the office, a secret fiend for gossip so you knew damn well he’s heard the rumors too. and yet…

“oh yeah? how do you know?” the pads of kuroo’s fingertips patter down along your back as he watches you carefully — catlike instincts trained onto you.

“because people gossip and we aren’t exactly the most discreet.”

“we are discreet!” kuroo looks mildly offended and if you didn’t know him so well, you think you’d had actually struck a nerve.

“babe, they caught us kissing at the the last work party.” you poke his cheek. “not to mention what some of them have been subjected to at happy hour.”

“you make it sound like we’re going at it 24/7 in the office, jeez.” he pouts, looking off to the side.

“i’m just telling you how it is.” you shrug, a teasing smile gracing your features. “i suppose you just can’t keep your hands off me.”

“why you little…” he tickles your side, causing you to giggle and squirm in his lap. after a moment he shows mercy and relents, nuzzling his nose against your face.

“so yeah, i don’t think it would be a big deal if we started going to work together.” you conclude, your voice just above a whisper now. kuroo pretends to ponder it for a moment before something else shifts in his amber eyes.

“noted.” he smirks, half lidded eyes set on you. “you know, you kinda owe me now for staying the night.”

“how’s that?”

“i’ve got to get up extra early, forgo my run and everything. you know how important cardio is to me.” he leans forward, lips ghosting your own as you suck in a bated breath.

“i guess we’ll have to find a suitable alternative for you then.” you pivot, straddling his lap and running your hands through his messy ink hair.

“oh i have a few ideas.” kuroo smirks, closing the gap between you as his lips touch yours.

[p0orbaby]

Squirrel? Squirrel!

summary: at this point, people just let you do what you want

warnings: nil

a/n: thanks for the request !

word count: 1.1k

-

You don’t remember the exact moment you decided that today was the day to catch a squirrel, but here you are, sprinting across the training grounds like a maniac. The squirrel, to its credit, looks mildly concerned, as if it didn’t sign up for this level of cardio.

Which it didn’t, but that’s none of your business.

“Why are you chasing a squirrel?” Leah shouts, barely managing to keep the exasperation out of her voice. She’s sometimes captain, which means she’s sometimes responsible for keeping things under control, a job made infinitely harder by your presence.

“I’m trying to help him,” you yell back, leaping over a stray football like you’re in some kind of Olympic hurdling event. “He looks lost!”

“Does he? Does he really?” Leah sounds like a woman on the edge, which is fair, because you’ve spent the last week convincing the new physio that the ice baths were secretly filled with pickled onions.

You’re aware that you’re the class clown of the team. If there were a formal title for it, it’d be embroidered on your jersey right under your number. The physio had been an easy target—too earnest, too eager to believe that a teenager could be trusted with serious information. You had explained with a straight face that, at Arsenal, there was a tradition of bathing in vinegar to promote circulation, and you had never seen someone look so horrified in your life. To your credit, you almost felt bad.

But not really.

Beth jogs up alongside you, her face equal parts amused and concerned, which seems to be the default expression of everyone when you’re around. “You know you’re gonna have to explain this one to Kim, right?”

“Kim loves me,” you reply, ducking as the squirrel makes a sharp turn towards the goalposts. “I’m like the daughter she never wanted”

“That’s definitely one way to put it,” Beth says, laughing as she matches your pace, which is not difficult because the squirrel is now dodging the goalposts with all the grace of a drunk toddler. “But seriously, what’s the plan here?”

The plan, if you could call it that, involves cornering the squirrel, giving it a lecture on the importance of proper nutrition (because that acorn it’s gnawing on looks suspiciously expired), and then setting it free like a wildlife warrior.

You don’t tell Beth this, though. You’ve learned that it’s best to keep your more ambitious plans to yourself until the very last minute, preferably right before they inevitably fail spectacularly.

“Improvisation is key,” you say instead, sounding like every PE teacher who’s ever tried to make dodgeball sound like a legitimate sport.

The squirrel skids to a stop by the water cooler, possibly considering hydration as a valid life choice, and you seize the opportunity to lunge at it. You miss by a good three feet, landing on the grass in a sprawl that would be embarrassing if it weren’t so common in your daily life.

From your new vantage point, you notice Lia sitting on the bench, watching the entire scene with the air of someone who has seen too much to be shocked by anything anymore. She’s eating an apple, slowly, methodically, like this is just another Tuesday.

“Need a hand?” she calls out, voice dripping with the kind of dry humor that you both appreciate and aspire to.

“Nah, I’m good,” you reply, dusting yourself off as you get back to your feet. The squirrel is now halfway up a tree, looking smug, which feels like a personal attack. “I’ve got him right where I want him”

“Yeah, sure looks like it,” Leah says, finally catching up to you. She’s slightly out of breath, and you make a mental note to tease her about her fitness levels later, but right now you’ve got bigger fish to fry, or squirrels to catch.

“Maybe we should let the squirrel go,” she suggests, putting a hand on your shoulder in a gesture that could either be comforting or restraining. You’re not entirely sure. “You know, before Jonas comes out and realises his star winger is trying to wrestle woodland creatures”

You consider this for a moment. The squirrel does seem pretty intent on staying in the tree, and you’re not sure how much longer you can keep up this level of enthusiasm. Plus, your last run-in with Jonas had involved a lengthy discussion about the dangers of free-climbing the goalposts after you’d tried to prove a point about your superior upper body strength.

“Fine,” you say with a sigh that’s more dramatic than necessary. “But only because I don’t want to give Kim another heart attack”

“Very noble of you,” Beth says, patting your back like you’ve just made a grand sacrifice.

You start to walk back towards the training pitch, the squirrel now a distant memory as you begin plotting your next escapade. Maybe something involving the team bus and a few dozen helium balloons.

As you’re contemplating the logistics, Leah pulls out her phone, probably to text Kim that the squirrel incident has been safely contained. “You’re a menace, you know that?”

“I prefer ‘misunderstood genius,’” you reply, grinning as you start jogging backwards, a skill you’ve mastered purely for moments like this.

“Sure, and I’m the Queen of England,” Leah retorts, finally cracking a smile.

“Does that make me the royal jester?” you ask, doing a little bow as you reach the training pitch.

“More like the royal pain in my-”

“Language, Leah!” you interrupt, mockingly covering your ears. “There are children present!”

“Yeah, one of them’s standing right in front of me,” Leah shoots back, but she’s laughing now, and you know you’ve won this round.

As the rest of the team regroups, you spot Kim making her way over, her expression a mixture of bemusement and something that might be resignation. You wonder how many more years you’ve shaved off her life expectancy.

“Y/N, do I even want to know?” She asks, though you suspect he already knows the answer.

“Probably not,” you admit cheerfully, shrugging like the whole thing is no big deal. “But I’m open to discussing it over lunch”

Kim sighs deeply, the kind of sigh that says she’s seriously reconsidering her life choices. “Just…try to focus on the actual training today, alright?”

“Absolutely,” you say with a solemn nod, crossing your fingers behind your back where she can’t see them.

As the team heads back to practice, you catch Beth giving you a knowing look. “What?” you ask, feigning innocence.

“I’m just wondering what you’ll come up with next,” she says, shaking her head in amusement.

“Oh, don’t worry,” you reply, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “I’ve got plenty more where that came from”

[trophyprincess]

Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.

Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.

Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)

One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.

If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.

Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.

Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!

THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)

If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!

When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)

Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.

Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.

[ros3ybabe]

🎀 Overcoming Gym Anxiety 🎀

I got asked about this through my inbox by @sxfiaaa so I figured I'd make a post about it and hopefully help a lot of people with something I too used to struggle with!

🩷 Wear Comfortable Clothing

We've all seen the beautifully dressed people on Tiktok, Pinterest, etc in their matching sets and cutr gym clothes. If that is what you're comfortable wearing to the gym, do it! Wear it, and be confident in it! If you're more of a loose clothes/sweatpants/baggy shirts or hoodie type of person, do that! Wear whatever you feel comfortable (and cute) in, because the better you feel going into a workout, the more you'll be able to focus on your workout!

🩷 Know What You're Doing When You're There

This just means go in with a plan! You don't need to know how to use every single machine or do every single exercise known to mankind. Scroll tiktok or pinterest for some workout videos for inspo (please make sure the video you get inspo from shows proper form!!! Proper form is so important for being safe!!)

If you know you can go certain days of the week, make a workout split to follow that! EX 3 day split: Monday - Leg Day, Wednesday - Upper Body, Friday - Full Body

OR, if you just want to go do cardio, then plan for that! I didn't know how to use a treadmill, but I went to the gym at my university and stood on the treadmill til I figured it out!

🩷 Remember This

No one is going to look at you and judge you or think mean things about you. Everyone is at the gym for the purpose of bettering themselves and their health. If you find people giving you occasional glances, maybe it's because they don't recognize you from the gym (or they do recognize you from somewhere else), maybe their admiring your outfit/physique, maybe their avid gym goers who are watching your form and technique, or maybe their just zoned out and you happen to be in the line of sight.

When I'm at the gym, I look around between sets and take note on other people's form to see if maybe I should tweak the way I do a certain exercise, or I'm admiring another girls outfit or physique because there are a lot of beautiful women at the gym. Sometimes, I'm thinking "dang, they're lifting so heavy, how cool!" or "wow, their form is amazing, they really know what they're doing." I've never thought bad abut someone at the gym because why would I?

🩷 Don't Be Scared To Ask For Help

if there an exercise you really want to do but don't know how and videos aren't helping, ask someone around you who isn't in the middle of an exercise and looks like they may know. The guy at the gym doing upper body who has good biceps may be the right guy to ask about upper body exercises. The girl doing impeccable Bulgarian Split Squats might be the right person to ask for help with those types of movements. Just make sure they aren't in the middle of an exercise, because that can cause some unwanted issues, especially if they're mid-rep, that can turn into a safety issue.

People love to help people, especially at the gym. If you politely ask for help from someone, they may take it as a compliment that you think they look like a person who is knowledgeable on working out. I'd definitely be so flattered if someone asked me for help or advice at the gym!

🩷 Random Advice:

remember your why! no matter how anxious you are, remember why you're going! what are your goals, what do you hope to achieve, how proud will you feel after?

start small if you have to! if it's really anxiety inducing to start working out, make it your first goal to at least step into the gym. then 2nd goal, walk around the gym to get a feel for it. 3rd goal, maybe 5-10 minutes on a treadmill, and then keep building momentum each day.

be careful with the hours you go! there is such a thing as peak gym hours. It varies by place, but a lot of gyms are busy between 2pm and 6pm I've seen. I personally love going to the gym super early morning, it's a little less busy and I'm a morning person so it works out for me! If you can only go during peak hours, bring a friend or keep your headphones on and do your thing!

Bring a friend! If you're really anxious about going alone, bring a friend with similar goals! Sometimes it can be a lot nicer to learn something new with a friend then try and learn it on your own! Plus, it's like extra motivation and accountability!

Have a motivating pre workout routine. Play some music while getting ready, prep your bags, prep your playlist, get your workout itself figured out, and just keep yourself excited to go! I love blasting high-energy music that makes me feel like a baddie on my way to the gym.

I hope this was helpful!! My thoughts were everywhere but I tried to convey them as best as possible! I'm happy to answer any questions or offer more tips and advice, don't feel scared to ask! <3

til next time lovelies 🩷

[kendyzzlewp]

you can do it with a broken heart

summary: jackson broke up with you for no reason, so now you try to survive residency while working at the same place. but you’re a real though bitch, you can handle your shit

tags: fem!reader, jackson avery, angsty, ttpd

tw: mentions of su!c!de

—-

“You seem… okay.”

You looked at Meredith who was staring at you with a concerned expression. You shrugged, spitting the toothpaste from your mouth into the sink.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked, grabbing a towel and wiping your face from any minty residue.

Meredith narrowed her eyes on you. “Well,” she said, entering the bathroom fully. “Avery dumped you.”

Your heart sank at the mention of him. You shook your head, forcing a smile. “So? It’s not the end of the world. He’s literally just a guy and I dumped him.”

Alex entered the bathroom, pushing past you to get to the sink. You locked eyes in the mirror and he shook his head.

“Pretty boy was not just a guy,” he grumbled, grabbing his razor. “He was like your person or twin or whatever it was you called him.”

Meredith hummed in agreement, sitting on the toilet with her eyes fixed on you. “He wasn’t just a guy, he was your guy.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Your stomach twisting like a wet rag at the topic of conversation. It had been two weeks since Jackson decided to end things after months and months of the stupid will they, won’t they dance. It wasn’t even a viable reason, he needed to focus on plastics and you needed to focus on cardio. It wasn’t you, it was him. After the boards things were going to be different.

Blah blah blah.

“I’m fine,” you said in a failed attempt to convince both of them and maybe even yourself.

Because you were the complete opposite of fine. You were completely ruined. They were right. Jackson wasn’t just a guy, he was the love of your life. Your best friend and one random fight escalated to the point where you turned back to strangers.

Derek popped his head in the bathroom, catching your eye with a sympathetic smile. “Hey,” he said softly. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” you exclaimed, pushing past him to get to your room. “Perfectly, fine.”

——

“You gotta fake it, till you make it,” Arizona said as she masterfully dissected a burst appendix. “Break ups suck. The important thing is though that you win, you have higher ground.”

You had the faking part down, now making it? That’s a whole different story.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, your eyes on the cavity in front of you. That seemed to be your new phrase lately, it had variations but fine was becoming your old faithful.

For some reason, you decided to look up at the gallery. Your eyes meet green ones. So green yet so blue at the same time. Like a watercolor painting of a beach paradise. You swallowed the lump that blocked your throat. Knowing the intercom was turned on by the red light, you decided to prove it once and for all.

“I actually have a date,” you lied, your eyes darting back to Arizona’s hand as she finished sewing up the kid.

She looked up at the gallery with wide eyes before landing her eyes on you. “A date? With who?”

“Um…” you racked your brain trying to come up with a convincing answer, your eyes briefly meeting Jackson’s. “A lawyer…yeah.”

Arizona dropped the subject when the monitor started beeping wildly, the attention shifting towards the patient. You look up at the gallery again. He was gone.

You’re fine.

—

“He said he’d loved me all his life,” you sobbed one into your arm one night at Joe’s. Lexie rubbed your back sympathetically. “He lied.”

She sighed, passing you another napkin. “You are going to be just fine,” she said, taking your drink away. “No more tequila for you though.”

You shook your head, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I’m fine,” you said, forcing a smile. “I can handle this, this is nothing.”

——

“It’s kind of ironic,” Alex said one day, watching you repair an aortic aneurysm in the gallery. “She wants to fix hearts for a living but can’t get her own shit together.”

Cristina mumbled an agreement, her eyes focused on the surgery. April shook her head, feeling sad for her friend.

Meredith shrugged. “She says she’s fine,” she said, taking a bite of her apple. “If that was me, I would’ve drowned myself in the bathtub by now.”

Cristina raised an eyebrow, turning back to look at her. “That was you and you did almost drowned.”

“She’s on the verge of a mental breakdown,” Lexie said, her eyes focused on a medical journal. “It’s a matter of time.”

“Avery is a dumbass,” Alex stated, earning a chorus of agreement from the rest of the residents.

All of them were blissfully unaware that Jackson was standing at the entrance of the library. His eyes focused on you as you performed your magic. The way you laughed as you bantered with Altman. His heart sank.

He really was a dumbass for letting you go.

__

You sat in the gallery with the rest of the group, your eyes focused on the surgery below. You mentally took notes. You hadn’t slept in days, food would not stay down no matter how much you tried.

The anxiety ate away at you constantly. The emptiness follows you everywhere you go. The hospital became your home as you dreaded going to bed alone.

Jackson entered the gallery, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up. You still couldn’t be in the same room as him, no matter how cool you tried to play it. With a curt nod, you stood up.

As the tension mounted within you, a sudden wave of dizziness washed over, causing you to sway slightly in your place at the gallery. Cristina, noticing your unsteadiness, reached out a hand to steady you.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked, concern etched in her voice.

You forced a smile, nodding weakly. "Yeah, just a little tired," you replied, though the lie tasted bitter on your tongue.

Lexie glanced up, furrowing her brow at your demeanor. "Are you sure?" she remarked, her voice tinged with worry.

Before you could respond, Meredith interjected, concern evident in her eyes as she set her half-eaten apple aside. "Maybe you should take a break, get some fresh air," she suggested, her tone gentle yet firm.

“I just need to leave,” you whispered, hurrying out of the cramped room.

You’re fine.

—

“Hey.”

You looked up from your study notes. Jackson stood in front of you, shifting from one leg to the other. His hand gripping the strap of his backpack tightly.

Your heart was pounding. “Yeah?” You cautiously asked, closing your notebook.

“I just wanted to check in on you,” he admitted, taking a step closer. “You looked rough in the gallery earlier.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, a mixture of emotions swirling within you. Anger, hurt, longing—each fighting for dominance as you struggled to maintain your composure.

"I'm fine," you replied, the words coming out more sharply than you intended. "Just a rough day."

Jackson's expression softened, his eyes searching yours for a hint of the turmoil raging within. "You know you can talk to me, right?" he said softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. “I know you. I know you haven’t been eating or sleeping. Meredith told me you barely go home nowadays.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips, surprising even yourself. "Talk?" you scoffed, the words dripping with sarcasm. "About what, exactly? How you broke my heart?"

His eyes widened, a pained expression crossing his features. "I never meant to hurt you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought I was doing what was best for both of us."

"Best for both of us?" you repeated, incredulous. "How is dumping me, without a single good explanation, the best for me?"

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. You blinked them back, refusing to let him see your pain. "You don't get to waltz back into my life and act like everything's okay," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. "I'm not your consolation prize, Jackson."

He reached out a hand, as if to touch you, but you flinched away, the pain of his betrayal still too fresh. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt you. I just... I thought it would be easier this way."

"Easier for who?" you shot back, your anger simmering just below the surface. "Not for me, that's for sure."

With a heavy sigh, Jackson took a step back, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Fine. I'll leave you alone," he said, his voice filled with resignation. "But just know that I'm here if you ever need me."

As he turned to walk away, you felt a pang of regret, a part of you longing for the comfort of his presence. But you pushed it aside, steeling yourself against the pain. You had survived his absence once; you could do it again.

You’re good. You can do it with a broken heart.

[justbelievinginmagic]

˗ˏˋ do you even lift, bro??ˎˊ˗ : CHANGBIN X READER

pairing: changbin x plus-size fem!reader

summary: changbin loves showing off for you.

warnings/tags: pg-13, insecurities surrounding weight, exercising, so many pet names, fluff fluff fluff! this is so self-indulgent. the fact changbin can lift 280 lbs haunts me in the best way.

wordcount: 1.5k words

You always liked to watch your boyfriend work out in his personal home gym. Sometimes you’d join him in exercising (he loves the idea of being a gym couple despite your gentle disagreement) but most times you’d lounge across the couch (that he had put into the space just for you, of course) and work on something on your laptop. Time with Changbin was always limited – between tours, practices, recording sessions, producing sessions, and, of course, company work – any free time shared was bonding time. And Changbin loved spending time with you no matter the activity.

Working out wasn’t your favorite activity – at least not how Changbin approached it. As an idol, he was quite regimented when it came to… anything. He saw it as an accomplishment. Why just make the usual count of reps when its Better if he did more? He went harder and harder each session. His workout routine was intense and not something you couldn’t just hop into without huffing and puffing. Working out wasn’t your favorite activity but watching Changbin work out was.

The sounds: Soft huffs, gentle grunts, and low whines. The whispers of his reps under his breath. The clink-clank of the machines’ parts. The clunk of the weights hitting the ground heavily. His workout playlist going between loud rap to uppity girly pop to even slow R&B (sometimes songs you swear you heard in tender moments between you two.)

The sights: His face screwed up into a grimace shouldn’t look so handsome – bared teeth with his eyes shut. His nose scrunched as he lifts weights high above him. The gleam of sweat making his skin look golden and glowy. His hair damp across his forehead. His white compression shirt getting more and more see-through as he continues his workout (and the inevitable shiver that goes through you when he sheds the shirt with a groan.)

It never gets old.

This was another such day. You had tried a simple work-out. Some cardio and some light weight training (at the insistence of Changbin.) You’ve had many conversations about exercising (it’s his favorite hobby and its your hardest frenemy as a plus size woman after all, and there were multiple conversations about the importance of strength training with weights – “you won’t bulk, baby! I promise. No, you won’t—who told you you would get a footballer’s shoulders? No, no, baby! Here--” and then he taught you workouts that would be good for you courtesy of his trainer). And while you were done in 30 minutes, you knew Changbin had at least another 30 minutes on his calendar set aside for ‘working out with yeobo’ as it was marked in his schedule.

So here you sat on the couch, gazing over at Changbin only to avert your gaze when his dark eyes eventually flickered over to you. It was a fun game. Looking over again when you feel his gentle gaze leave you, your eyes lick over his form. He was weight-training. A completely different routine to your light weight lifting to tone your arms and back. He was lifting heavy weights. Some were being swung up to his head before he squatted and lowered the weight in between his legs. Another was a normal curling of weights to show off his biceps and triceps. And now… oh it was your favorite – the dead lift.

The idea that your boyfriend could hold such a high amount of weight was attractive. And you’ve told him many times. Still, almost like a child on Christmas seeing the gifts around the tree in the morning, you perch up on the leathered couch to gaze over at your Changbin. When he glanced your way as he added another round heavy-looking weight, he laughed as he caught your gaze finally.

“Caught ya, yeobo,” he teased smiling that grin that made your heart tremble with a flurry of butterflies. “I win our game today.”

You laughed. “I wasn’t trying to win – I just want to look at my handsome man.”

He pursed his lips into an air-kiss (that you dramatically grab the air for) as he moved to place another weight on the bar.

“How much is that?” you queried.

Looking over the weights, he replied, “Around 180 pounds.”

Almost as if to tease you, his arms raised high above his head as he peeled the skin-tight shirt from his form. His muscles bounced as they settled into place after tossing the shirt aside. Changbin glanced over at you with bashful eyes. Your reaction made him laugh, overly dramatically flinging yourself back on the couch in a overwhelmed mess. "Stop," you whined, peering at him from your spot. He moved to lift the weight he prepared, arms flexing deliciously.

You looked him up and down before catcalling proudly. “You’re so hot.”

He smirked as he continued to lift the weights.

You couldn’t help but let the number he told you echo in your mind. You were heavier than that. You watched him as he lifted the weights again and again. Was it hard for him? You watched his breath – his chest rising and falling as he pursed his lips as he took in a big thing of air.

“I’m surprised you can hold me up,” you commented offhandedly-more absentmindedly as you continued to ogle your boyfriend. Of course, he has – your moments in bed don’t always stay limited to the bed – but now you were thinking… has he ever lifted you up fully? Sure, he’s lifted your leg up or held your legs or held you against the wall. You couldn’t remember if he’s ever held you like a bride or even slung over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

His breath that he was holding as he lifted was audible as he dropped the weights unceremoniously.

“What?” he spluttered – as if you had insulted him personally.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Eyes widening as you laugh a bit, if not a bit self-deprecatingly.

“Baby, I’m not tiny. I know I’m big and I’m—you know I don’t expect you to lift me or hold my weight. I’m too heavy for everyone.” You snorted a bit. “The times you have is enough.”

“C’mon over here, jagiya,” he called, hands reaching out to you.

“Binnie,” you tried as you looked at him. “Don’t do this.”

The worst feeling in the world is when someone says no, they can handle you – only to can’t. Throughout your life, you’ve experienced this – moments where you’ve sat on the laps of others only to hear an ‘oof’ while smaller friends never experienced such a reaction. You can see it now – your sweet boyfriend trying to lift you up for longer than a moment only to huff and lower you to your feet.

“Bunny,” he hummed as he came over to the couch. “Do you think my muscles are for show?” he tilted his head a bit as if challenging you.

You gave him a bit of a dead-eyed look. “Binnie- really I’ve go –“ You didn’t get to finish your words as he bent down to scoop an arm under your legs, letting his other arm support your back. A soft gasp left you as he stood back up, your arms scrambling to wrap around his neck. Trying to hoist your weight up, but he refused, pulling you closer to his chest in rebellion.

“Shh,” he hushed as he walked over to the large mirrors beside his weights.

“Never say I can’t hold you,” he murmured softly as he held you close to his chest. There wasn’t an inkling of struggle or huff in his voice. He was just holding you. Something you imagined before countlessly but with burning heart of self-consciousness never thought could happen. Yet here he was.

“In fact,” he hummed as he walked over to the nearby weight rack, with you in his arms still. “You are as light as a feather.” He squatted once, twice. His arms didn’t tremble. His breath didn’t hitch. If you were attracted when watching him work out, in this instance, you could faint with how much adoration radiated from your heart. Adoration and anticipation.

He glanced down at you, lips curling into a soft grin at the look in your eyes. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to your cheek, pursing his lips over and over with a smooching sound. As much as he’d love to swing you around to hold you by your bum (with your legs wrapping around his lean waist), he wasn’t done proving a point.

The nearby weight rack was lower than his waist and, so carefully, he squatted down.

“Can you hold one of those weights, yeobo?” he pointed with his chin to the sets of weights resting on the rack. 20lb, 40 lb, 50lb, more. “Whichever you can hold, darling.”

You reach over to grab the one of your choice before resting it on the curve of your hips. As he stood again, he swung you about, doing curls with your form.

“Yeah, still light as a feather,” he hummed. Changbin’s ears burned with pride as he heard your soft girlish giggle. He let out his own giggle which only made you blush, arms going to pull you towards his neck. He leaned his head forward, following your blushing bashful hiding towards his neck. “You hear me? I’m not even breaking a sweat, yeobo.” He pressed another kiss to the curve of your cheek.

Your eyes flicker to meet his tender ones.

“Never ever say I can’t lift you or that you are too big for me,” he murmured gently. “You are perfect. My angel.” He swayed you a bit like a baby. “Light as a feather, angel.”

[missmarveledsblog]

The one ( Bucky barnes x reader odindotter)

summary : just the grumpy teddy bear bucky pinning after thor sister that's been there through everything  

warning: none , Bucky being a cutie , John walker being an ass , sam being the best wing man , mutual pining

One person , one singular person was all he wanted to see after it all . after the blip , the war against the mad tyrant and yet he was now staring at the face of a man he loathed , one who didn't deserve to hold the shield his best friend and brother had for a century. John walker stood an ego based attention hog who had the wrong morals and ideal that steve would generally cringe at . even with all this their was one person that occupied his mind , one that could truly make sense of all the craziness that he was now landed in. He walked as johns chest puffed out appearing to make himself so much bigger that he was , the words spilling from his mouth all bullshit and that thing he pass of as charm well a bag of rocks could do better and possibility even smarter . Bucky came to see her , knowing she was the only one that could truly understand what it is like to be in a place so alien and having those feeling of they didn't feel they belong in a sense. She could of been in new asgard with the rest of her people but she like this strange place. What made it funnier was he was actually of this planet and same time if someone told him it was mar or some shit he would actually believe them because still even after everything this didn't feel like earth . He watched her pretending to care , even the scowl of annoyance that grace her face that would of had loki proud. "So i think that why cardio is so important" john finished off the suggestable comment . " you know my brother would love to hear stuff like this" she smiled letting the poor mans hope rise. " although i find it all a bit boring more into the intellect of everything" her head tilted she had the man like a mouse on a string . " i mean yeah science of things but at the end of the day brawn defeat the brain" he chuckled . " i'm a goddess your brawn wouldn't tire me nor my brain" she rolled her eyes clearly done with the conversation scanning the room . " i bet i could tire you out" he winked . " the only way you could tire me out is too keep talking because it kinda putting me asleep" she fake a yawn before adding the stretching her arms to prove her point . " wow you really add to the bitchy princess stereotype" he scoffed. " oh little man i made it" she walked off eyes lighting up when she saw the man before her . " finally someone interesting" she called making the other man scoff.

It wasn't her intention to be bitchy maybe it was having loki as a big brother or the fact the man before her didn't know his ass from his elbow and yet he held something so important in his hands. She could of kept walking , ignored it and she was going to til his mouth opened once more. " really the killer" that sentence that made the fires of hel seem small to how it made her feel. " excuse me you back of the warehouse version of captain america , you wouldn't know the real downfall of earth or it's people . you hold that shield yet don't know one thing it represents nor the man that held it before you and yet you try cast you opinions on someone who went through so much and still stand before us today , if my father was alive he would agree that not one of us would have the same kind of heart and fight if we went through what that man has went through , all that pain and torture that would break you in a click of a finger" she snapped. " doll seriously it's ok" bucky said although someone should told his face with the smile having her defending him . " jame buchanan barnes and many other saved this whole universe and you dare try insult him , that shows you don't deserve that title you parade" she scoffed leaving john walker standing almost speechless . " hey little princess" sam called cutting bucky from speaking. " hello shall we leave or midgard will need a new captain" she smiled brightly . " actually we need your help" sam winked . " i feel like i should say no but lets go" she chuckled .

She sat on the ledge of helicopter watching the idiot well her favourite idiot fall to the ground and sam following after liking the new and improved wings. " you gonna jump out now?" torrez asked in awe and well slightly nervous giving who the woman is before him. " nah idiots forget i could of teleported us" she giggle before she was gone from his sight. Leaning over bucky as he lay out on the ground . " that was very stupid" she smiled holding her hand out. " well i mean i got down didn't i" he smirked back up at her. " your an old man it's quite dangerous" she laughed . " how old are you again" he shot back. " times different i mean in earth human years i'm only what twenty five" she tapped her chin . " wait so how old was loki when you know tried taking over earth " sam came to their side. " earth years sixteen" she walked off causing sam mouth to get louder at the new found knowledge . " your telling me grown ass loki , destroying new york with his alien ass army was 16 earth years old " . " yeah i mean time was something that many asgardians had to get use to being here" she shrugged. " i like it better when you where the thousand year old princess" bucky teased. " so you didn't feel like a creep my little pinning buck" sam whispered she heard it yet kept walking pretending to be oblivious to sam's constant teasing . " no but seriously loki was sixteen" sam asked making her roll her eyes . which led to her spending the rest of the time trying to explain the time differences and space and time which was probably a waste of her time as he began asking to convert their fellow avengers ages to asgardian . which then she used to tease him then turning it around. " so would it make you feel better after losing to parker" she smirked watching his face fall. " we didn't lose" bucky spoke up . " yeah redwing came in" sam added. " so redwing did, what you couldn't" she smiled. " no no now don't spin this" sam huffed. " well i mean you're so concerned with ages" she smiled. " here's me thinking you were sweet and soft like thor but your like loki" sam chuckled . " i mean me and loki did get to chat a lot , great teacher glad he left something behind " she smiled softly as sam realised his words . " shit i didn't , sorry really y/n" he began rambling . " it's ok really lets get going" she walked ahead only for bucky to slap sam at the back of the head. " bird brain, and stop with the remarks she finds out i love her well i'm screwed i love my best girl " he hissed.

Even after all this time it was so hard , so stressful and completely heartbreaking to even think of her brother . loki and thor was all she had after her parents life had perished and granted she still have thor but through everything knowing once and for all that loki was truly gone , well sometimes it can take longer for a heart to heal after so much loss especially when your not fully over the others before it. The rest of the trip it was like she was somewhere else from the taunts of zemo to the fake disguise of the winter soldier it seemed as though the whole thing was getting worse bringing back scars for them all to the surface. All mentally dealing with something that was bigger then themselves . all dealing with pressures or ghost of their own past . he could see in her eyes thinking of all they lost , close friends and family behind the eyes he could stare into all day . she been around through it all , from when steve found him the first and second time . the day he pulled him from the river when she promised to take care of steve , through the battle of the airport, on the run while he was in wakanda she stayed learning how they did it and being the friend he needed. To the war how she held them all up loss after loss , she lived through the blip trying to find a way to get them back , a way to stop the mad tyrant and he wonder in that time was he on her mind like she would of been on his if the role were reversed. She would give her all for those she loved and still felt like she needed to give more it was another reason to add to that ever growing list of why he loved her .

Then now here they were louisiana celebrating the new captain america , the right choice , the one he couldn't agreed more not that he would admit that out loud . although he wish sam would shut up about y/n odinsdottir . he didn't want to scare her off being his friend , the whole time when everything was wrapped up in a bow it's all the new cap could bring up . he watched her laugh and play with the children , how even thought the sun was shining her smile was even brighter . " you know instead of still doing the whole mean steamy stare you could actually do something about it" sam nudged him playfully as sarah looked to the two. " oh if you don't i will" she winked . then the laugh got louder as he watched her walking towards him eyes locked on his and that damn smile that made him melt like a puddle. Her hand coming to his face , cupping his cheeks before her lips on his . " you know i can hear you both no matter how much you whisper" she winked turning to walk off only to feel his hand to wrap in her pulling her flush to his chest . " and you left it til now cruel doll" he smirked leaning forward . " hey girl can only wait so long plus again it's not like i didn't give you chances all these years " batting her lashes leaning up to kiss him once more only for clash of thunder shot through the sky making them jump apart. " he got the girl , my man buck nasty got the girl" sam cheered . " he always had the girl" she kissed him once . the one he wanted to see the most was truly and finally his ,his peace and his girl. 

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

I saw you wanted some ideas for Leon so here’s mine: you’re hiding with him in the RPD from Mr.X in the stars office, and the more you talk the more you realize you’re into each other. A small make-out session turns into something more and Mr.X becomes your last worry.

Btw, I loved your recent Leon fic :3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ I found this in my drafts with a few paragraphs written and decided to finish it. I'll start the year with a smut, haha. Thank you, anon for the idea, and I'm sorry I made you wait 🙏❤️. I hope you like this 😊. I wanna write more about him, so keep the requests coming! Also, your feedback is appreciated ❤️.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader

I take commissions so if you're interested check my Ko-Fi. ❤️

You were both panting as you barely escaped the monster that was chasing you relentlessly all night. He was tall and strong, and bullets didn't kill him. From the distance, it looked like a normal person given the simple outfit; he was wearing a hat and a trenchcoat, both black, but from up close, he was rather scary due to his grey skin and dead eyes. The height also added to the intimidating factor.

How did he end up dressed that way? You asked yourself as you saw him kneeling on the ground. Leon just emptied a clip by shooting his head. Apparently, bullets stop him for a bit, giving you a chance to run. Still, you couldn't help but be amused by his attire.

"Who the fuck gave this thing a fedora?" You asked quietly as you passed near him. "Like, it has to be custom made or something? Look at the size of its head…"

"Probably, but I think we have more important things to worry about right now."

You hurried outside the library and never stopped running. They just kept coming… from all directions. You tried blocking some windows, but it was useless.

All this time, you followed Leon's command, as he seemed more collected, even if he was just a rookie. You had a hunch that he was trying to impress you, and you had two reasons. One, you heard him curse like a sailor around the station before meeting him—something that didn't happen when he was with you—and two, you caught him staring at you a few times. He'd looked away every time you turned your attention to him, but he couldn't hide that smirk.

"This way," he whispered as he gently closed the door behind him.

"Where to-"

"Shh," he said, pointing to the ceiling. Your face turned pale at the sight of the horrendous creature that was crawling. Its sharp, long claws tapped on the surface as he walked on all fours; its brain was popping out, and he didn't appear to have any eyes. Terrified, you froze in place, but Leon grabbed your hand and guided you into the corridor.

"Just watch your steps, ok?" he whispered again in a soft voice, trying to soothen you. "Don't look at it; you'll be fine. Just stick with me."

With steady steps, you made your way to the STARS office and closed the door behind you. Leon pressed his ear on the door, and once he heard the licker crawling away, he told you that you were safe.

You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn't realised you were holding your breath until now.

"Good. Listen, do you mind if we rest a bit here? It's too much cardio for me," you joked.

"Sure, I could use some rest too."

The STARS office was clear, and you found supplies too. Some medicine, ammo, food, and water felt like a gift sent from God. There was also an armory, but it needed to be unlocked from the computer. A reminder that your work is far from done. Still, you tried to enjoy your small break. Leon was sitting at one desk from the edge, and you were sitting next to him. Behind you was a nice brown leather jacket, which you considered taking, but it was too big to fit you. The team's belongings were intact, making you wonder why they closed the unit so suddenly.

"Where do you think they are? Do you think they are safe?" you asked Leon, who was busy starring in the blank.

"They are probably doing better than we are. Those guys were elite."

"I think we're holding up pretty well, considering you're a rookie and I never touched a gun."

"Yeah…you almost blasted my brains back then," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry about that." You said it soflty and gently squeezed his forearm as a sign of comfort. "But you burst through that door, and I panicked."

"It's alright," he said, smiling. He smoothly slid his arm to the edge so he could grab your hand. Your fingers intertwined quickly.

"Thanks for the quick lesson, tho…it came in handy."

"No problem, you're a natural," he winked, which made you blush.

"Yeah, but I kinda had a great teacher."

"What can I say? I work best under stress."

You both chuckled. A short pause followed, in which both of you just stared at each other. Leon wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to praise you for being so brave and for taking care of him; he wanted to tell you how lucky he feels to have found you in this mess, but he didn't know where to start.

"You ok?" you asked, seeing that he got lost in his thoughts again.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I was grateful for having you with me; that's all."

"Really? For a moment, I thought I slowed you down."

"Me slowing you down? You're faster than me. You actually left me behind a couple of times."

"Oh, that? I thought you did that on purpose...just trying to get rid of me."

He chuckled.

"Nah...I never wished to get rid of you. I really like having you around." He said.

"Me too..."

Neither of you let go of the other's hand.

You both stopped talking. Your smiles dropped and your eyes closed as you leaned forward towards each other. Soon, your lips touched over and over again, filling the room with faint sounds of kissing. You were both shy at first, but Leon got more courageous and came closer to you. His hands found your waist, and you cupped his face, prolonging the kiss. Soon, you felt Leon's tongue trying to find yours, and the kiss got a lot more intense.

Not carrying about Mr.X and other threats, you climbed onto Leon's lap and continued to kiss him with the same passion. Now you were closer to each other as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his big arms around your waist, hugging you and keeping you close.

It shows that Leon craved this kind of affection and intimacy from the sweet whimpers that came out occasionally.

"Wait…" he said as he broke the kiss. "I know a more comfortable chair…"

You didn't know what he meant until he suddenly stood up while managing to carry you and went to Wesker's office. He was a strong fella.

On his way, he never ceased to kiss you, becoming even more eager.

He sat on Wesker's chair, which was more comfortable and much bigger than the previous one. Since your legs had more room to rest, you had the strength to roll your hips over his crotch, letting out small, deep whimpers as you felt his bulge growing between your legs.

His hands squeezed your flesh as they ran along your waist. His muscles relaxed under your precise movements. His needy whines filled the room as you kept moving faster.

"Y/N…" He whispered shyly, breaking the kiss for a few seconds before coming to taste your lips again. He felt his cock throbbing in his pants. He wanted you; he craved you. It was unbearable.

You felt the same way, and your cunt was throbbing with excitement as you thought about him inside you…he felt…big…

With fast movements, you took your pants off, and then you proceeded to strip him off. His cock jumped in the air once his boxers slipped past those big thighs of his, and oh, what a sigh it was. He was long, thick, and leaked heavily in front of your eyes. You watched how a droplet of his precum glided along his length, making you drool. His tip glistered as it was basically drenched in his own juices.

You teasingly tapped his tip with one of your fingers, which made him whine loudly.

"Y/N…" he said, his attempt to maintain his composure being obvious.

"Shh. Just stick with me." You said this, looking at him with siren eyes.

You climbed back, one leg slidding next to him, and the other followed slowly. You raised a bit and aligned yourself above his tip. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you began to descend slowly and gasped when you felt his cock entering inside you. When he felt himself inside you, he pulled you again in a passionate, eager kiss.

Moans and whimpers filled Wesker's office quickly. You let out sharp, deep exhales as you took more and more of him. You struggled a bit at first, but both of you were so wet that after a few thrusts, you slid up and down with ease. Leon moved his hands to your ass, squeezing your cheeks hard with every throb of his cock. Not only did you feel him leak inside you, but you also felt how he rubbed that sweet spot inside you. It was pure bliss, which turned your mind foggy.

He also thrust his hips from beneath you, matching your own rhythm. You allowed yourselves to sink deeper into each other's touch without being bothered by what was happening out there. The kiss became messier, the touching more intense, and the thrusts more erratic as you chased your own release.

However, Leon felt that his time would come sooner, so he lifted you spontaneously and placed you on the desk, knocking down everything that would make you uncomfortable. Was that too loud? He didn't care.

"You are so strong, officer." You teased him and gave him the same dirty look, enjoying how that made him visibly weaker. He rolled his eyes and lowered his head a bit to the side, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

His cock was halfway inside you now, and his arm rested near your head. With a deep breath, he began to thrust inside you, and he maintained eye contact this time. His face was still red, but not because of embarrassment, but because of how good your cunt made him feel. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper.

His pace was slow at first, and he didn't go all in. It was pleasant, of course, but you wanted more, so you gently pulled him closer with your legs.

Understanding your intentions, he went all in, his balls constantly slapping your skin with each thrust. His breathing became faster, and your moans became louder as he finally hit that spot inside you again. When he picked up the pace, he placed his big thumb at your clit and stroked it fast. You felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and your throbbing cunt gave him a clue that you were about to cum.

"Leon…don't stop…" You said it between whimpers.

With his final strength, he went even faster with both his thrusts and strokes, and finally, he felt your wall clenching around his cock. With rolled eyes and curled toes, you grabbed his forearms as the orgasm hit you hard. A few seconds after your climax, you heard his moans getting louder. Then you felt hot spurts of his cum filling you up fast.

Both of you were trying to catch your breath now. Leon collapsed on top of you and allowed himself to indugle with your gentle touch for a few moments. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his tired body, with one hand playing with some strands of his blonde, smooth hair. The other caressed his back.

His nose was buried in your neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that your body provided.

"I never thought I'd get laid on my first day as a police officer," he muffled, making you chuckle.

"Well, I bet you never expected a zombie apocalypse either."

"To be honest, if you would've asked me a few days ago which was more likely to happen, I'd go for the zombie apocalypse."

You chuckle again.

"You need to be more confident, Leon." Your fingers moved to his nape. "You're a great guy."

Once he felt your feather-like touch, he sighed with satisfaction.

"Oh yeah, just like that."

You began to massage gently. All this time, he remained inside you, and neither of you protested.

"You like that?"

He let out an affirmative hum.

"I'll tell you what," you began in a soft, calming voice. "When this is over, we keep in touch and go on a normal date. To get to know each other, you know?"

"Sounds good, but we need to get out of here in one piece…"

"Hmm…yeah…let's do that then."

He pulled out eventually and helped you get dressed.

You slowly made your way out of the STARS office, then made your way further into the station, looking for a way out. Now you look at the situation with a little more hope. Maybe it's because of the sex, or maybe you realised you have someone to count on. Who knows, but one thing is sure: you lived to go on your first date.

Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @skylar-todd@rokurodokuro@brownsugarwrites (if you want to be added DM me 🤗)

[greattigerssimp]

Punch Out!! Wii boxers and their workout regimes.

(Got inspired from @bucketspammer4life and their buckets-worth of Punch Out headcannons, so here I am making mine! Teehee. We all saw cutscenes about how Lil Mac trains for matches, but what about the other boxers?? Find out here!)

Glass Joe: 🥐🇫🇷

- Hates waking up early, so he starts later in the afternoon/evening

- When he works out, he wears a black hoodie that says "But first, coffee" on it.

- Focuses on cardio to stay in shape, and because his natural upper body strength is abysmal

- Kaiser sometimes helps him prep for matches and tends to over-praise him... like, Joe will do 2 push-ups and Kaiser will be on his knees, screaming about how amazing Joe is doing.

- Hates dieting to build muscle (since it takes him away from his beloved breads and wine), but if he has to, his go-to meal plan consists of Greek yogurt, berries, PB on whole grain sandwiches, and salads.

- His workout playlist consists of a variety of music, but quite a lot of Daft Punk. He's a closeted fan of them.

- He used to sparr with Gabby Jay before he died. It was his only real practice and upper body exercise he got. Nowadays he sparrs with Kaiser or Bear Hugger for practice

Von Kaiser: 🔩🇩🇪

- Opposite of Joe, focusing on his upper body strength only.

- Wears his classic slutty white tank top and army pants... and iconic boots while working out.

- He also wakes up stupidly early for a run, and almost got mugged one morning one time.

- A rare pull-up lover! Dude is shockingly good at pulling his own weight.

- He's also scarily good at climbing stuff... don't blink, or you'll see him on your roof all of a sudden

- Uses techniques from his own regime to help train his students

- Workout playlist is boring

- Very meat heavy diet, both on rest and training days. Very bleak breakfast, mainly consisting of eggs, toast, and black coffee.

Disco Kid: 🕺🇺🇲

- One word: Boxercise.

- Takes lessons with Heike as his teacher

- Ofc wears the leotard. He's had that leotard for a while, actually... he says it fits fine, buuuut let's just say that there are certain signs that show the outfit getting small on him...

- Exercises whenever he wants; his classes are indoors, so time isn't an issue for him.

- Has over +20 playlists, one for every day, of ever hour, of every "vibe."

- If he's training for a fight, he'll usually rely on greens and vegetables to help him keep him focused. Also plenty of protein shakes (his fave flavor is cookies and cream)

- Aside from boxer-cising, he enjoys going on afternoon or morning walks with his mom (and sometimes April tags along)

King Hippo: 🦛🏝

- His only idea of "working out" is to swim butt naked at the nearest beach

- The only music he listens to is the ocean ✨️

- He always eats a punching bag before hits fights... no one knows why. That should tell you enough about his pre-fight diet.

Piston Hondo: 🥊🇯🇵

- Like Kaiser, works out early in the morning, but also late at night too

- If he's in public, he's wearing a white t-shirt and sweat pants. If he's working out in private, he's wearing this pink Sailor Moon tank top he's owned since he left Japan.

- He and Tiger practice meditation together. Mental health is just as important as physical health!

- Cardio lover

- Disgustingly quick reflexes

- One time, he used a treadmill at the gym, and he accidentally broke it after running in the highest setting for over an hour.

- Playlist consists of J-Pop and a little bit of vocaloid. Like Joe, he's insecure about the music he likes.

- Absolute W workout diet. Rice + home made chicken or white fish, crunchy sea weed strips, and lightly seasoned edamame?? All inside a cute bento box that looks adorable AND portions out the food??? Sign me and the WVBA up! He changes it up a lot, too, for the sake of trying new things.

Bear Hugger: 🐻🇨🇦

- Trains anytime of the day, wearing anything. Sometimes he'll train butt naked in the woods to really "capture the bear spirit."

- Bears, squirrels, you name it! He's trained, at least with every North American animal, at least once.

- Loves hockey! Not only does he watch it a lot, but he's good at playing! He and Lomasi play for fun or for training.

- Doesn't really listen to music while working out (he prefers the sounds of nature) buuut he does have a playlist all about country rock.

- His diet? Raw fish. Either caught by him, Lomasi or the bear he trains with.

Great Tiger: 🐅🇮🇳

- Doesn't actually work out... his clones do, and he resuscitates the energy from their efforts.

- Does meditation with Hondo... will float unconsciously during meditation.

- His playlist consists of authentically Indian music, mainly ones with a calming aura. He listens to them while meditating

- Will sometimes go on jogs with Hondo and get hilariously left behind because Hondo is naturally speedy

- Works out/meditates shirtless

- Would have a W diet if he knew how to cook. He mainly gets Hondo to make him bento boxes for lunch and dinner. Had a prime phase for a good 2 months

Don Flamenco: 🥀🇪🇸

- Works out shirtless in the summer, low-cut tank top in the autumn and spring seasons, and doesn't work outside during the winter.

- Also loves swimming! His swimming exercises are pretty rigorous. Also, he posts thrist traps of him swimming for attention lmao

- Carmen decides when he can and can't work out. Someday's he can work out at night or in the morning, and somedays he can't

- His workout playlist is all sorts of disorganized. He's got authentic Spanish music in there, but he also likes his fair share of girly pop (thanks to Carmen), and because of his one emo phase, there's a bunch of metal and punk pop in there. One minute he's listening to "Firework," the next, it's "Misery Business."

- He would absolutely LOVE to have his own Spanish based diet, but nah... Carmen's rich parents usually cook for him every night. He's stuck eating unseasoned chicken and cold collared green until his fights. And no, he isn't allowed to cook for himself, even though he can do so pretty well.

Aran Ryan: 😈🇮🇪

- Upper strength dude, straight up. If he's not punching something into oblivion, he's not working out.

- Works out all night and sleeps all day.

- Will trash talk whatever inanimate object he's beating into oblivion.

- Got arrested once for fighting random strangers on the street... police were called after he bit someone's finger off. Claims he was just working out

- Wears a "punch me, I'm Irish" tank while he's working out

- Playlist consists of Irish and British punk rock bands

- Gets hot way too easily; the place he works out in has to be breezy/cool or he's getting distracted

- No diet whatsoever. No one's taking his fish and chips or his shepards pies away from him, no sir

Soda Popinski: 🍾🇷🇺

- Booty shorts and crop top tank top. Doesn't matter what the weather is... he's wearing this. He gets a lot of stares...

- Hates cardio, makes him anxious bc he's so tall. Focuses on upper body strength

- He isn't into basketball, but if we was, he'd be really good at it; would be a nice way to train.

- During his withdrawal phase, he found it horrible to work out. He felt so tired and weak for days on end, and lacked the motivation needed to workout.

- Broke lots of training equipment back in his spiked liquor era.

- Playlist mainly consists of Russian hits that he grew up with + the occasional folk song

- Sparrs with Macho Man for totally straight reasons (liesss)

- Very safe, very bland diet... but it does the trick, and it doesn't make him throw up. He's very conscious about what he puts into his body, since he's afraid of how the liquor would react to it.

Bald Bull: 🐂🇹🇷

- Wears a boxing outfit + tank top

- Also meditates, but privately.

- His entire work out regime is as closeted as possible.

- Very calm when working out... he's almost a completely different person than how he is in the ring

- Listens to calming white noise instead of music

- Diet isn't that rigorous, but it isn't particularly unhealthy either. Baklava for breakfast, lean kebabs for lunch, and Manti for dinner.

Super Macho Man: 🌊🇺🇸

- Wears the same speedo he does in the ring when he works out. If it's cold outside, he'll wear a Hollywood Blvrd hoodie and no pants, aside from that speedo.

- ONLY works out on the beach he lives by, and only does it in the afternoons.

- Blasts his music on the beach... he listens to a DISGUSTING amount of pit bull. It's either him, or any other rave song that's been played dozens of times

- Either swims, surfs, or punches a bag. He'll record himself doing this too

- Likes to sparr with Soda on the beach... and surf, ofc, this is my AU and Soda x Macho Man is built upon romantic surfing moments !!!

- Also hates dieting, like Joe, but if he has too, he'll stick to steaks and energy drinks. Also enjoys morning Mimosa's

Mr. Sandman: 💤🇺🇲

- Very private work out routine

- Spends entire days in his apartment, just punching a bag and listening to a playlist designed by Mr. Dream that TOTALLY doesn't have subliminal messages... ha-

- Puts bulking powders into every piece of lean meat and energy drink he consumes; its borderline unhealthy

- Ofc the bulking powder he uses is created by the WVBA...

- He's lowkey miserable, but pretends he's not.

[usagikookiejams]

HOW BLLK! MEN TREAT THEIR PREGNANT WIFE

Oliver Aiku, Tokimitsu Aoshi, Barou Shoei (all aged-up character)

OLIVER just got back from the 7-Eleven, after searching for your craving food at 3 in the morning. He got what u asked for and also bought some ice cream for you as you guys promised to watch short film once he's back. Once at home, both of you cuddled on the sofa while you were happily munching on the food you craved for. He loves how cute you're looking atm, so fluffy and hugable. Hence, he bent down his head a little and kissing you on the forehead, 'Babe, why am I so lucky?'. 'Hmm? Why is that?' you looked at him questionably. 'Cuz I gotta enjoy my whole life with you, growing old together raising our children' he replied. 'CHILDREN?!' you blushed at that. 'I dunno about that honey, let see how this pregnancy goes' you answered while hiding your face in his chest. He just smiled at your action while unconciously stroking your baby bump, still wondering how he got so lucky having you as his babymama ♡

TOKIMITSU sworn he almost got a heart attack after witnessing you climbing on the short bench to reach the top shelf in the kitchen. He immediately ran to you and carried you down from there in bridal style, 'Babeee! Why did u do that? Omg, u could just asked me to help.' You could listen to how fast his heart was beating, feeling bad that you made him anxious about what happened just now. 'Sorry, I don't wanna disturb you. I know you're doing cardio at the home gym' you pouted, stopping yourself from crying. He set you down on the sofa, going to the kitchen to get what you're reaching for before coming back to you. 'It's okay babe, but promise me not to do that again. You may accidentally hurt yourself in the process' he comforted you. After a while, you guys just enjoyed having a conversation together while he massaged your swollen feet gently. Enjoying one another's company while talking about what the future has in store for your small family ♡

BAROU and you currently at the park having a small walk. You obviously didn't feel like going but after being lectured by Barou about how important it is for the pregnancy, you unwillingly went there at last. He was now holding your hand while enjoying the nature. 'This is great, isn't it? I hope that we could bring our kid here next time' he look at you while smiling. 'Uh huh, I can't wait to play with them! I wonder what they will enjoy to play the most' you wondering. 'Maybe I could teach them football if they're interested in it, want them to learn from the best you know' he jokingly stated. You rolled your eyes at his statement, 'Ughh I hope they don't get your snobbish personality.' You looked at each other while laughing to your heart content. Both of you continued walking before going home. He then went to the kitchen to cook healthy and nutritious foods for you while you go take a shower. Humming to himself happily, feeling very lucky to be given the opportunity to live a life where you and his kid are by his side. Hmm, perhaps children in the future? Who knows ♡

[gallusrostromegalus]

Your line about Unohana's smallpox scars made me wonder: are there any soul reapers that can remember when they were alive? (If they were alive? I'm not sure if all souls originate in the world of the living)

All souls are "born" in the Living World and eventually move to Spirit World (if they don't go directly to Hell). The majority of souls in the afterlife do not remember their previous lives, but a significant portion do.

Souls Born in Soul Society:

Children and babies that die in utero or before they can reliably recognize their names, very old people that have lost most of their memory and people who suffered catastrophic memory loss while alive move to to Spirit World and become the souls of babies gestating in mothers there. Souls that are Born in spirit world do not remember their previous lives because there isn't much, if anything to remember.

Sometimes very young children and babies will appear in the queue to the afterlife, and in AEIWAM, the 7th Division manages incoming souls and takes care to place any children that come through the queue in SOME kind of care in the area their soul was assigned to. This is a recent development under Captain Komamura, but something the 7th has been wanting to do since it's inception. It's only recently that technology and staffing has been able to allow it. The majority of souls in Soul Society, and by extension, in the Gotei-13, were born in soul society.

Even though they have no memories, sometimes things will come through- people born in soul society are much more likely to have birthmarks. While the superstition is that if you're born with one, it relates to how you died, there's no evidence that so-called "marks of the previous life" are from death specifically. There's also no evidence that they're not :)

Characters that were Born in Spirit World with Marks Of The Previous Life:

Izuru: Born with two red dots about an inch apart on his ankle

Byakuya: One absolutely perfect beauty mark smack in the middle of his left asscheek

Shuuhei: Smattering of thick, raised skin patches across his upper back.

Ukitake: hard to see because he's so careful to avoid the sun but there's a couple patches on his abdomen and thigh that are totally devoid of pigment and never tan

Shunsui: Partially developed third nipple in his right armpit

Soi Fon: weird tooth growing out of the roof of her mouth.

Komamura: the paw-pads on his left foot are pink.

Aizen: Born with partially webbed toes.

Yumichika: The Beauty mark on his cheek is painted on. The one on his dick is not, much to his chagrin.

Yachiru: changed her origin story to HURT :), no birthmark but when her teeth came in, her adult right canine came in and the baby canine is just. Missing.

Urahara: patch of something that looks like freckles, but bright red, on his throat. Only shows up if he's been doing cardio.

Yoruichi: small, diamond-shaped white patch of skin over the lower part of her sternum.

Souls That Forget:

Souls over the age of about 3 will (barring something bizarre happening) reincarnate in the afterlife at the developmental age they dies at, and stand a 50/50 chance of forgetting their previous lives entirely. *Why* is unclear to the shinigami (it's a side-effect of the wheel being jammed), but the effect seems to be slightly more likely if the soul died a particularly violent death.

The loss occurs when the soul steps through the door out of the Queue and into spirit world. This sudden loss and confusion is part of the reason it's so important for Shingami to escort incoming souls to their destination in spirit world, any why Ryoka (AKA, souls that somehow got out of the queue and into Soul Society without checking in with the Shinigami) tend to be chaotic little bastards.

Souls that forget their previous lives upon stepping through the gate usually retain muscle memory, learned skills and a handful of details- the name they answer to, how old they were when they died, and sometimes they remember what they died of. Souls who do forget often tend to be emotionally ambivalent about it- on the one hand, not knowing who you are or where you came from kind of sucks, but after seeing their friends who remember wracked by grief or traumatized by a violent end, it can also feel like a strange blessing or a fresh start. Characters who were reincarnated at the age they died, but do not remember their previous lives:

Unohana: Does not remember her name, did remember a lot of slikks relating to ritual purification and swordsmanship

Hitsugaya: Sole memory of standing in a blizzard/thunderstorm as a small child

Tousen: Only his given name, and the feeling he was killed by a lightning strike.

Matsumoto: Given Name, no-context memories of a pet cat

Shinji: Does not remember his name, remembers a weird number of folk songs and a really good fish recipe though

Ikkaku: Remembers fuck-all. His sister DOES remember him and that's a fun chapter in the drafts

Souls That Remember:

Souls that do reincarnate and remember their previous lives remember varying amounts- Some people can recall previous lives with incredible detail, some people have only a very vague or uncertain recollection, others have very clear but context-less memories that they know came from a previous life but little more than that.

Just like people who forget, people who remember have mixed opinions- Some find it a burden to have memories of a family lost, some are really glad they still remember their loved ones, but the majority are a combination of nostalgic and wistful about their previous lives.

Characters who reincarnated and remember at least some of their previous lives:

Yamamoto: Died at about age 10, but remembers every detail. Died of Being Next To A Volcano When It Exploded.

Tama: Her memory bordering on eidetic, including her cause of death (bad)

Momo: Has many memories but not context. Remembers another little girl (sister?), and living out on a farm with a goat.

Rukia: She was very young, but does have a handful of distinct memories of her previous life, including Hisana making stupid faces at her to make her laugh.

Hisana: Recalls her previous life almost entirely. She and Rukia barely escaped a house fire only to die of hypothermia.

Hollows:

Nearly all lesser hollows remember their previous lives, and what caused their soul chain to rot, but once a hollow is consumed by another hollow, or becomes part of a Menos Grande, they lose all but a few memories, and those tend to be vauge and distorted. By the time a hollow becomes a Vasto Lorde, it's been torn apart and absorbed so many new soul fragments that it can't really be called the same soul at all. If there are Souls that are "born" outside of the living world, it's hollows like that. A Few Notable Exceptions:

Coyote Starrk and Lilynette Gingerbuck: They were a Genus Loci (the spirit of a place) that died in a calamity, but since a Genus Loci is functionally a Kami, when they hollowfied and re-appeared in Hueco Mundo, they started out at Vasto Lorde Class hollows. They divided into the 'two' souls they are now out of sheer loneliness and because the memory of the calamity was so awful they hoped they would forget. It sort of worked- Both of them only half-remember who and what they are.

Nnoitra Gilga: A singularly single-minded individual, Nnoitra forgot almost everything including his Name but not what caused him to become a hollow in the first place. He doesn't exactly have context for those memories until about half an hour before he dies, but he also doesn't care- he's always been a man to tell himself whatever story suits his needs.

Wonderweiss: Wiess was a soul that absolutely should not have been able to hollowfy but did so because a Divine Power fucked up to a SPECTACULAR degree, and like Coyote and Gingerbuck, started out as a vasto-lorde class hollow. He does sort-of forget who he is for a while thanks to Aizen's Meddling, and while he has the facts of who he is, nobody quite makes the full connection to WHO he is until about halfway through Act 2.

Weirdos:

SOME PEOPLE manage to enter the spirit world in completely ass-backwards and stupid ways, and sometimes this effects their memories:

Ichimaru Gin: Probably has the MOST understanding of what's going on of anyone in the series but unfortunately, he's fucking stupid.

Mimihagi: The Second-most-informed person in the series, but turns out getting dismembered, undergoing a catastrophic database error and surviving as a fragment of your previous self does a number on your ability to remember anything with any clarity.

Zaraki Kenpachi: Developed a soul in the living world when he wasn't really supposed to, reincarnated in a place he should not have been able to, got thrown out and survived a fall that should have killed him, was raised by a being that normally would have eaten him, and has generally been Why-Are-You-Not-Dead-ing his way through his existence.

Quincy:

If, How much, What Version and The Actual Veracity of what any Quincy in the Wandenreich remembers about their previous lives is ENTIRELY determined by Yhwach and what suits his needs :)

[goodlucktai]

name your courage now

one piece word count: 2k pairing: usopp & luffy my piece for the @opfluffzine ! @beasttrash drew some absolutely lovely art to go with my fic, go take a look if you'd like ! title borrowed from the moon will sing by the crane wives read on ao3

x

When Usopp was seventeen, he met a man who made him feel small. 

It wasn’t the first time in his life someone looked at him and found him wanting. But it was the first time elevator eyes and a sneer had caused a deep pang of uneasiness to take up residence in his gut.

“This guy?” the stranger had said to Luffy, incredulous. “Come on, you can tell just by looking between us that I have more to offer than he ever could.”

He was trying to cozy up to the rookie captain already making a name for himself across the blues. He wanted to tag along, take the easy street to adventure and infamy. He couldn’t seem to understand why Usopp, of all people, had a spot, while he didn’t. 

Until that point, Usopp had never had any compunctions about his own physicality. He had a runner’s body, lithe muscle that got him from Point A to Point B swiftly, and the excellent cardio required to scream every step of the way. He would never try to go toe-to-toe with someone like this man—a little taller than Zoro, a little broader in the shoulders, more muscled than the nineteen-year-old former pirate hunter by virtue of being about a decade older. 

But Luffy’s first mate had a devil in him that made him an actual walking natural disaster. This stranger just seemed like the type of bully who was used to using his size to get what he wanted, and his handsome, chiseled face when brute force failed him. 

Luffy had looked at the man the way Usopp imagined the sun might look at a satellite, a glancing interest in this tiny, inconsequential thing that decided to cut boldly across his view. 

Then he looked at Usopp and the shape of that regard changed completely, all warmth and light and safekeeping—the sun looking at one of its planets, Luffy looking at someone who was his. 

Usopp knew how special it was to have that sunlight in his life. He knew better than to think, even for a second, that the special one was him. 

“Who are you?” Luffy said plainly, as if he hadn’t been present for the introductions that had happened literal minutes before. 

The stranger’s face flushed with humiliation, and Zoro’s low chuckle rumbling around them like thunder certainly didn’t help. 

“Shall I get rid of him, captain?” Zoro said with a courteousness that felt dangerous in the moment. 

Luffy, as petulant as any spoiled little brother or soon-to-be king, said, “Just get him out of the way! Usopp was telling a story.”

The stranger chose to take himself out of the way, proving he was at least a little smarter than most wannabe big shots they bumped into. Even after he had disappeared down the road—even after the encounter had drifted back into the company of one thousand other encounters that wouldn’t even make it into the footnotes of their crew’s grand tale—that oily uncertainty remained in Usopp’s stomach. 

Looking back, it was stupid. But it was the first time Usopp felt worried that his place could be snatched away; that someone more deserving could take his spot. 

He knows that he’s lucky, that fate decided to be kind to him that day it brought his future right to his front door. He knows he never would have mustered the courage to go meet his destiny on his own, because Usopp was a runner, and a coward, and only as strong and fast as he needed to be to race away from danger, not towards. 

Then his family was ripped apart. Then Luffy suffered, alone and out of his reach. Usopp clutched a newspaper in hands that shook and imagined, for one second, a world without Luffy’s sunny smile. 

He needs me, Usopp thought. It wasn’t a lie to bolster himself in a moment of crippling insecurity. It wasn’t an act of silly, self-important grandeur to make Nami scoff or Chopper giggle or Sanji roll his eyes. It was a frightening, heavy thing to hold, something he was halfway tempted to put down, and that’s how he knew it was the truth. That’s how he knew he had to keep holding it. 

Usopp worked hard on himself in those two painful years apart, let himself go and then dragged himself back kicking and screaming. He has plenty to show for it, his body a machine as trustworthy as the ones he and Franky build together in their workshop. Just let someone try to take his nakama away again. 

I could carry any one of you, he thinks sometimes, gazing at them over drinks or under the stars, feeling settled in his skin and bones in a way he never was before. If you needed me, I'm strong enough to carry you now.

They meet that man again one more time, when Usopp is twenty.

On the main street of a city they’re poking around for the afternoon, they stumble upon a seaside restaurant's soft opening. Sandwich board menus planted in the street boast cheap specials for couples due to some local holiday. 

Usopp and Luffy lock eyes, and grin, and slide into each other’s space with the ease of people who have put their lives in each other’s hands on the regular. When they amble up to join the queue, they don’t get any second glances.

The shape of Luffy against Usopp’s side is familiar. His hair is stiff, starched with sun and sea salt, but it bends to Usopp's whims when he finger-combs it back into waves. 

Luffy isn’t handsome in a textbook way, isn’t pretty the way people like Vivi and Cavendish are, but he stops strangers in their tracks regardless. Gazes linger where he goes, maybe because humans at a base level can tell when a god is walking with them. 

Or maybe it’s his huge brown eyes. Even odds, Usopp decides, grinning when Luffy pushes into his touch like a pampered pet monster. 

“If we don’t have enough for the bill we can just run away,” Luffy says none too quietly, because he’s very much a product of the two half-feral older brothers who raised him.

“We’ll have enough,” Usopp reassures, even though he’s not entirely sure. Things will work out one way or another. He's learned from the best, after all, and while he’s no Nami, he can charm a few hundred bellies off the bill at the very least. 

Their chatter attracts attention. One of the two girls holding hands in line ahead of them scoffs, good-humored, and her partner giggles. A man walking down the street does a double-take and stops in his tracks.

Usopp recognizes him, even if it takes a minute. He’s smaller than Usopp remembers. The years haven’t been kind, weathering away his roguish good looks. Now he wouldn’t stand out of a crowd one way or another. 

In a split second, Usopp can see the spark of something like blame in his eyes. He looks like he’s about to start a fight.

“Hey, Lu, I bet they’ve got free samples up at the front,” Usopp says, giving his captain a nudge. “Get us something good, I'll save our spot in line.”

“Good idea!” Luffy’s off like a shot, thankfully barreling around the queue of customers instead of through it. Usopp spares a moment of sympathy for the waitstaff if there aren’t actually any samples up there and then turns his attention back to the stranger. 

Usopp folds his arms and sets his shoulders back, a broad wall between Luffy and this guy who thinks he has a right to ruin their fun day off. 

“For all you know, we’re on a date,” he says dryly. “Make it quick.”

“I just don't get it,” he says, jaded and unhappy with whatever turns his life has taken. “Why did he take you with him? What makes someone like you so special?”

“Yeah, you really don’t get it,” Usopp replies, not unkindly. 

None of us were special until he picked us out of the blues and made us that way, he could say. He saw something in us that no one else did, that hadn’t even existed yet, he could try to explain. Maybe we just got lucky. 

But there’s more to it than that. That’s only half the truth. 

They chose Luffy, too. And that’s not a small thing. It’s not simple, or easy, or a choice they only had to make once. Luffy picked them, and they picked him right back, and all the hard work that came with him. 

Every so often, when his friends are being noisy and annoying, Usopp thinks I would do anything for them and he means it . He would fight tooth and nail to stay at their side. He would cling with his last breath to Luffy's flag. Even when it hurts. Even when he’s scared. 

There is nowhere else that he belongs, Usopp realized one day, and it’s the truth. It’s something he made true, over and over and over again. Maybe he did get lucky that day Luffy happened to meet him. 

But maybe Luffy got lucky, too. 

“I put in the work,” Usopp finally settles for saying. “This is how far it got me. I’m nowhere near done yet.”

The man scoffs, but it doesn’t have the condescending edge it did the first time they met. When he sizes Usopp up again, it’s not nerve-wracking the way it would have been once. 

If Robin was there to make it really funny, Usopp would say excuse me, my eyes are up here, like he does in dive bars when flirty strangers get a little too close for comfort, only to shriek in alarm at the extra ice blue eyes staring unblinkingly at them from Usopp’s face. 

The man glances over Usopp's shoulder and quickly withdraws himself from their conversation. Usopp didn’t need his obvious reaction to tell him that Luffy is scampering back, because his passive observation haki is finely tuned to his captain’s presence at all times. That, and the audible oof from a stranger in the crowd who didn’t dive out of Luffy’s path in time not to get trampled over was kind of a giveaway. 

“Oh, score,” Usopp cheers when he sees what is probably six times the suggested number of samples for any one customer clutched in Luffy’s hands. 

Luffy is watching the stranger depart, a confused frown on his face. He looks back and Usopp meets his eyes easily, a smile already curling the edges of his mouth because he knows what’s coming. 

Sure enough, his best friend says, “Who was he?”

The line moves up and now they’re within line of sight of the hostess podium, so Usopp resumes their fake date by slinging an arm around Luffy’s waist. He squeezes playfully, and Luffy actually squeaks in surprise like a rubber monkey, then bursts into bright peals of ringing laughter. 

It settles over the street the way sunlight falls on everything, casting the world in warm, rich gold.  

“He was nobody worth worrying about,” Usopp says, wishing he could say it to himself at seventeen.

Usopp used to be a liar and could even trick himself into thinking he was somehow worth standing next to his friends, the brilliant, incredible people that they were. 

Usopp is still a liar, when it suits him, and even a coward, but only when it’s good for a laugh. More than that, he’s an inventor and a storyteller and the best sharpshooter in the New World. Maybe sometimes he still flinches from danger, but he doesn’t let his crew run to meet it without him. He builds things and helps people and nobody has the power to make him feel like anything except what he is.

He’s someone worth betting your last beli on. Somehow, Luffy knew that from the very first moment they met. Usopp took the long way around, but he caught up eventually.