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#Why did the author tag it as such
its-stupidhours · 1 year
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YOOOOO WE GOT COMMON TAGS YALL LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO
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fallenclan · 17 hours
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shits gettin REAL!!!! who is pumped. i know i am. enjoy the random ass starclan cat cameos that I crammed in here <3
finished this update JUST in time, but next week I'm gonna be even more busy so I guess we'll see!
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valcaine · 3 months
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Can we see art/sketches of philza lowkey being terrifying?
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woe, a sorta old crow man doodle upon ye,
Haven’t really had the energy to draw things recently as my ass ended up in the hospital and it just. Killed Everything I had left in me so apologies for any absence, I hope to get in the drive of making emduo art again. I have Things™️ planned, it is mostly a matter of me gaining the motivation again to finish them lmao
if anyone is interested. please do commission me!
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spiralsalad · 5 months
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Three sad tired guys :(
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pink-linoleum · 8 months
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shi congxin design exploration
i think it’s really funny how he gets one of the most in-depth descriptions in the book
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bigfemboyenergy · 3 months
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oh no not again sighh
welcome back to another case of I REMEMBERED HOW MUCH I LOVE BILL CIPHER AND GRAVITY FALLS
im already swamped with things in my brain and i feel like unproductive shit bc i havent spoken to anyone in hours but! thats okay ig i dont n e e d human interaction right.. haha??
bill cipher though. he has a canon human design (which i assume is mostly a joke but HUH) which is crazy and nightmarish and disgusting (creativity be damned, its horrific, love that for him)
and like ive been desperately waiting for the book of bill for several months now
AND AND topic change!!! i really love writing dipper bc hes a nerd and im a nerd and i genuinely adore his character (sorry mabel likers /j) so i want to write more BUT ITS PROBABLY CRINGE IF I ADD ANYTHING “flavorful” TO IT 💀💀 but uh i think i might just self indulge in a dip & dan just randomly meeting thing i came up with in a comic forever ago mmm
anyway, it goes like this;
Dipper, tired of the repetitiveness of his days working in the Mystery Shack, decides to take a short walk. Just for..”some air”, as he told Mabel, but deep down he knows that isn’t true. He has this yearn for adventure that he wants to fulfill, but he wants to do it alone- a bit unusual for him, he thinks. Alas, he leaves the Shack, determined to find something of interest. He takes with him his very own journal, formatted just like Ford’s, tucked safely under one of his arms.
Walking through the familiar forest around the Mystery Shack, Dipper takes his time to look around. The tall, thick oak trees, the weeds growing from all around the worn, dirt path he’s walking down..it’s very beautiful, but as it grows dark, it feels much more mystical. He takes a small, stable breath as he chooses to stray from the path, the sun lowering in the sky, leaving the moonlight to guide him. This is when Dipper realizes..he forgot to bring a flashlight.
With a slightly-frustrated sigh, he turns to head back home to the Shack, but finds himself a bit lost. Giving up quickly, for the sake of his unparalleled desire to explore, he pushes onwards into the woods. It isn’t long before he wishes he had gone back. The darker it gets, the harder it is for Dipper to keep himself calm. He’s always been fairly paranoid, but in a forest as enchanting and mysterious as this, especially due to the dark, he’s finding it hard not to worry.
As his anxiety builds, fear flowing through his veins as the sky continues to darken above him, the trees towering over him growing thicker as he continues to walk deeper into the woods, only making it harder to see..he finds a light. A soft, calming glow, almost calling out to him. It’s a peaceful green, a bit bewildering, but it does wonders for his anxiety in the moment, before he realizes that something is clearly in the forest with him. However, despite his earlier fear, he can’t seem to feel nearly as scared, the soft light almost comforting him. Taking a second to think, though not nearly enough to make a rational decision, he heads towards the light. Slowly and carefully, he walks towards it, watching as he starts to make out a figure, the supposed source of the glow.
As he continues his slow approach, he stops every few seconds to hide, not wanting to alert the being to his presence. At least he is wary enough to know he could be in danger, though Dipper somewhat laments his lack of thought earlier.
Once he’s close enough to really get a good look, Dipper feels his heartbeat speed up with both excitement and terror. The being looks so human, and yet it all feels so fascinating, as he knows it truly can’t be just that. They appear to be a boy not much older than him, with white hair and..glowing green eyes! Now knowing the source of the light, Dipper feels rather accomplished. He decides that, once he gets home, he’ll postpone everything just to write a bit about this in his journal.
In his excitement, however, Dipper hears a twig crack beneath his feet as he takes a step forward. Without a moment’s hesitation, the boy’s head turns to face his direction; though, luckily, Dipper had already hidden himself behind some close-growing trees, and therefore hasn’t yet been spotted. The boy slowly moves towards Dipper, his feet making no sound, the crunching of the grass and crackling of twigs that would normally come with walking through such a forest..surprisingly not present.
Dipper bursts into a run, panic setting in. He wasn’t thinking for just a second, and now he’s alerted the person to his presence.. he can’t think, he can’t stop, his brain is just telling him to move, his fight or flight kicking in, leading him to run and run with no end in sight. After a long while, with a bit of tripping and getting caught on branches, he finds himself at the edge of the treeline, back at the Mystery Shack. It doesn’t look like the boy followed him. With a long, shaky sigh, Dipper cracks a smile. He did ask for an adventure, and that was just what he got. Entering the Mystery Shack, he immediately heads up the stairs and to his room, eagerly flipping open to a fresh page of his journal, not hesitating to write things down.
Not sparing a detail, he describes the mystery person; a boy of white hair, green eyes, pale skin, and with an eerie, ghastly glow, who makes not a sound when he walks through such an undergrowth-heavy forest.. It intrigues Dipper to no end. He can’t help but want to learn more..
Next time, he thinks, he won’t forget to bring a flashlight.
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atalante241 · 3 months
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About Genshin Impact and the technology of Teyvat
We get a kamera at the start of the game from Xu for the “Snapshot” world quest. In it Xu remarks that the kamera is a new invention from Fontaine.
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Xu shows surprise at the Traveler knowing what it is, this supports the idea of the kamera being a new invention meaning it’s pricey and rare to have at this point. Later on, on the Traveler’s journey, we get quests to take pictures of things. This could mean that the kamera is becoming more widespread a time goes on, or just the knowledge of it.
During the 4.3 Fontinalia Festival the focus was placed of films. This was an attempt by the Fontaine Film Association to introduce films to the populace, making the main point of the festival the films produced for it.
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This would give idea to films still being a new invention, as they aren’t widespread, just like how the kamera was at the start of the game which was about 3 years ago. And based off of Furina’s Character Demo “Furina: All the World’s a Stage” we can assume that the films recorded were black and white in quality. Unless, we assume that the mini-games during the 4.3 “Roses and Muskets” event were canonical in the way they showed the film quality. No noise was shown in either, but one was in color the other not.
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This gives us an estimate of where — technological advancement vice — Teyvat is compared to our world. Films started becoming a thing at the end of the 1800s and start of the 1900s. Colored film started showing up around the 1930s, but became more accessible and profitable later on. Films started getting sound added to them around the mid-to-late 1920s. This gives us an estimate of around the start of the 1900s placement vice.
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Now I’d like to bring up Khaenri'ah. It was heralded as “the pride of humanity” as said by Dainslief. Khaenri'ah has more than one notable scientific aspect linked to it, one of these being the “Field Tillers” aka Ruin Machines. Ruin Machines vary from “simple” Ruin Guards to a Ruin Serpent(s).
Ruin Machines seem to have been around for a while, since the Archon War even given the Ruin Hunter stored by Guizhong in a domain. This means that the technology may have been around for 1000s of years, likely being used as a defense method during the war and preserved thereafter. The knowledge of this technology didn’t spread much beyond Khaenri'ah, this showing through how the people of Teyvat started calling the Ruin Machines “Ruin Machines” after they spread globally after the Cataclysm.
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Around Sumeru there exist three giant Ruin Machines called “Ruin Golems”. These were giant mecha style machines were piloted by a crew of people, and — get this — include a colored screen. By screen I mean the type of screen you’re viewing this through, footage from outside the Ruin Golem being broadcasted to the screen to allow the people piloting to see where they’re going or what they’re doing.
During the “Vimana Agama” world quest that was apart of the Aranyaka quest line we can go into the Ruin Golem in Devantaka Mountain by Port Ormos. There we can use the actual screen and see through it. This being a machine that has sat unused for hundreds of years. And its screen is still in working condition.
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So, simply put. Khaenri'ah was very mechanically advanced.
BUT!
I have yet to mention the Terminal Viewfinders in Fontaine. You know, those eye ball machines you use to transfer energy to terminals in puzzles in the Fontaine Research Institute area. You know, the machines with working colored screens. Mind you this isn’t technology you’re able to find all through out Fontaine, only in certain areas usually accompanied by a researcher from the Institute. So it would be more comparable to machines found in laboratories and not accessible to common people.
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But still. At the very least Fontaine is near the mechanical advancements of Khaenri'ah either a few hundred to thousands of years ago.
And I have yet to mention everything going on in King Deshret’s places in the Sumeru desert. And I’m not going to go into more than this mention because that is a headache I have yet to even get around to in game.
TL;DR Khaenri'ah was very technologically advanced to the point of hundreds of years later working colored screen technology. Fontaine is around that point with the Research Institute while normal day to day people are around silent movies in advancement, while I have no idea what’s going on with the Sumeru Desert.
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up-in-flames-writing · 9 months
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In lieu of Stuff Your Kindle day, can we talk about the issue of how the m/m genre of books, romance or not, is almost entirely dominated by women? Can we talk about how the most recognisable gay couples in media are written by women? Can we talk about how queer men can't even write about ourselves, how we are only allowed to exist when it's from the point of view of a straight woman sexualising us?
Can we talk about that? Or am I going to get called misogynistic for pointing out the disparity between who gets the writing deals, & who gets their books turned into movies, & whose shit gets popular versus whose doesn't? Can we talk about how m/m fiction is only allowed when it appeals to a cishet gaze, or is that too much for tumblr to take?
Can we also talk about how trans queer men are even more hated by publishing? Can we talk about how we get shit from both sides? Can we talk about how books about the experiences of being a queer man, written by queer men, never get the same recognition as books written by women on this subject (barring academia which has its own problems)?
Can we talk about that? Can we?
#booker speaks#no bloody clue how to tag this#this is for the tags only but#people would get up in arms if the f/f book scene was dominated by cismen only#why are we not extending this same energy to ciswomen writers of m/m?#why did we forget about the original meaning of own voices?#why are queer men pushed out of publishing in the way that we are?#& im not just talking about romance here#like there are fantasy & scifi & contemporary novels about men loving men that are written by ciswomen who have a very narrow view of what#m/m relationships are like. & this extends towards stuff like manga too but im not gonna get into that cause i dont read mangs/comics#can we talk about how hard it is to find queer masc authors nowadays?#saying this both as a reader & as a writer#can we also talk about how lists of queer & especially trans novels almost always forget to include anything by transmascs & gay transmascs#or if they do include us its 1 transmasc book to 1 enby book to 8 transfem books or books about the 'trans experience' in nebulous terms#can we stop reccing detransition baby & start reccing the spirit bares its teeth?#can we look at works written by queer masc people that arent just red white royal blue & stone butch blues?#go read cemetary boys#read alexis hall & max turner#read bloom if you like comics. or nimona#read my shit too!#im gonna be focusing on my writing blog way more this year#& im working on some projects that may or may not end up being published in physical form#read more queer masc stories by queer masc authors!
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Pride Poems Day #18 Theme: Agender
This poem is dedicated towards @leafgorge, a wonderful Agender Fellow and my sister in crime for this project
Broken Dawn
Fractured sun rising over a kaleidoscope sky A broken dawn over a patchwork world Made of stolen memories,
This isn’t our place
blue, pink, yellow, red broken machines broken things
Fragments of a metal world Dot the landscape
I’m grey, I’m not broken I don’t have their affliction
blue, pink, yellow, red broken machines broken things
A reminder of what could’ve been
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postergadorart · 1 year
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i said i love zelink
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vicontheinternet · 4 months
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You should’ve see my face when I read ‘feminine’. This is why you will never get me to join that fandom. Do they not know that Shonda Rhimes is a BLACK woman who has made it her mission to be the sole reason why loving v Virgina doesn’t get overturned that woman lovers her a swirl. You’re not going to get a same race relationship out of her for main character. Also Micheal is John’s cousin why would he be white.
And let me stick this one here talking shit about this fandom I’ll drop this screenshot here. Let’s not try to remember what twitter thread or tweet this was from it’s two years old. Saying that Simon was a dark skin lead is crazy and they knew that not what op meant by dark skin women
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#anti bridgerton#anti bridgerton fans#bridgerton#fandom racism#don’t read to much into to the tags#and ppl wonder why rege jean page left and won’t come back hell marina left because she had to put herself in a mental hospital#but this is the fandom she cultivated and wanted ig#if she wanted a more ‘tame’ fanbase she would’ve adapted a regency era book from a black author not one that was racist#but then again she did create greys anatomy and we all know how that fandom is#they wanna say the quiet part out loud with tiptoeing around so bad#every regency era show with black fans are racist because the buccaneers ppl hate alisha bø’s character for breathing#and someone on tiktok just abt called the mixed dude a slur and told the main character to go with theo so she could live a fantasy#remember when ruby baker (marina) said that the ppl behind the show did nothing to protect amongst other things#and ppl said she was being ungrateful and were chewing her up unintentionally proving her point#you can only see ppl calling and being excited for you characters to die of suicide for so long before it gets to you#remember when ppl were arguing with ppl who said it would be in bad taste to kill off marina via suicide#when her actor was going through mental health struggles then those same ppl when they found out she was leaving#got excited because it meant that the show was sticking to the book and going to kill her off even tho she left for mental health reasons#possibly brought on by this horrible fandom
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sullina · 2 months
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i think part of what makes so many people just flock to dungeon meshi as well is that it's also a story involving an autistic main character, who actually IS the main character
Because many stories will have an autistic character in them and then the story is more about how all the neurotypical people AROUND the autistic character deal with the characters autism, and the autistic character ends up as a side-character in a story that's supposed to be ABOUT them.
But in dungeon meshi, Laios especially is so much the main character! And i know he's not the only one, and not the only autistic character obv, and i know the story isn't about just him alone OR his autism...
But we get Laios' perspective. On just about everything. The story is, in the roughest terms, about the party venturing into the dungeon in order to save Falin, who got eaten by the red dragon. They're on a time constraint and have no money or equipment except what they literally have on their backs. That's the story.
Another author, a worse author, probably wouldn't have made Laios the party leader. A worse author would've relegated Laios to the "weird, awkward newbie who's excited about monsters but doesn't have the slightest clue or experience with them" who's job would've been to cite fun facts about whatever monster they encounter from some book he carries around, and the main interactions between him and the party would've been them yelling at him or calling him weird, to the point where you're wondering what this characters purpose even is in the story beyond comic relief.
And I'm so glad we didn't get this.
Instead of a story that emphasizes how "weird and unlikable" this weird character is, we get Laios being the partys leader, who, yes, is weird, but also competent and knowledgable and skilled and also is still a full character, with thoughts and feelings of his own, who actually speaks his mind and interacts with others on equal footing, who defends himself when he KNOWS he isn't in the wrong.
Laios and Shuros confrontation is both shocking, and also a huge breath of fresh air.
(Also, i know that "Shuro" isn't his real name but i can't remember his real name and I can't be bothered to look it up rn)
Shuro tells Laios to learn to read the room. A worse author would've had Laios apologize to Shuro for his own incompetence, but instead of meekly accepting that accusation, Laios throws it back in Shuros own face. That Shuro should've just been direct and honest with Laios when he KNEW that Laios wasn't getting it, instead of just playing along and letting that resentment fester.
And Laios is not only shouting it out, speaking his mind, and refusing to be treated as lesser than anyone else just because he can't "read the room", but he's also portrayed as RIGHT! Shuro would've have had to put up with Laios, whom he didn't like, but whom he let believe that they were friends, if he had just TOLD Laios he didn't like him DIRECTLY.
and look, i know that there's some hints or pages or whatever you wanna call them, that Shuro is also autistic, but comes with a different background, which basically just makes him and Laios incompatible in a certain sense.
But even with all that, Shuro still had no right to fault Laios for his shortcomings, when his own shortcomings played just as much of a role in their eventual confrontation. And the difference? Shuro KNEW how he himself AND Laios felt, but Laios only knew how he himself felt. Shuro was at an advantage in their situation, and he still faulted Laios and made him out to be this villain, who was purposely trying to make Shuro miserable, when Shuro himself NEVER opened his mouth to correct Laios!
And the thing is, Shuro isn't in the wrong for not liking Laios. Shuro is in the wrong for blowing up at Laios without EVER even giving him the chance to correct his behaviour!
And Laios KNOWS this, and he REFUSES to just apologize for something that wasn't even his fault! How could he possibly have known Shuro didn't like him, when Shuro never gave him any kind of indication of that fact?
And that's just it, isn't it?
Because I know I've experienced this kind of situation, even if exact memories don't come to mind, and I know other autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people have experienced this kind of thing. Of someone whom they were just having a normal conversation with or whom they considered a friend, just randomly blowing up at them for no conceivable reason. From our perspective, the other person just randomly decided they didn't like us anymore, didn't care about us anymore and wanted to be rid of us, or decided we were suddenly just evil, and they got mad at us, yelled at us, called us names, and then just left. And we're left confused and sad and, having no other information to go off of, because none was given to us, are bound to come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with us. We're just not likeable and any kindness from other people coming our way is just them being too polite to say anything until they've decided they had enough of us and abandon us. Because they never liked us. They were just too polite to say anything until they couldn't take us anymore.
#i won't lie that specific situation feel pretty personal#not to me specifically but to the author#because I'm not sure if any “normal” (neurotypical) person ever thinks about things like this#they just think we're dumb or malicious or something and don't even consider that maybe we just don't have all the pieces#and instead of just telling us we get treated like we've either evil or like we're children with the end result being that we get yelled at#and abandoned#oh hey while writing this a memory DID come to mind#in elementary school i wanted to play with these two classmates#and the thing is that they've apparently decided to play tag with me on the playground#except they didn't tell ME#so i was left looking for them all over while they kept running away from me for reasons i had no idea of#and the only reason i figured it out is bc i actually did get to see them once and was making a beeline for them only for them to point at#me and run away the moment they saw me#and i saw them doing that since i was beelining for them#can you imagine how hurt and betrayed i felt after that?#i had no idea why they were running from me#it's been 15 years and i still don't know#so the only reason i have left for why they could've done that is as a mean prank on me#because what other reason could there have been?#i've never been mean to them as far as i knew. from my perspective there was no reason for them to dislike me#and i know that others have had similar experiences and is it really any wonder that neurodivergent people have so much trouble making frie#*friends?#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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just saw a couple of gh0apers upset on twitter cuz a gh0ap fic they were reading had untagged ghostroach n I can't help but think it's a bit funny
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volfoss · 2 months
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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goldkirk · 8 months
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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medicinemane · 3 months
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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