#What are angles? And spirits? And the soul?
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Ellenâs Vengeance
Both Ellen and Professor Von Franz are characters who are ostracized by Victorian society. The archetype of the âVictorian patriarchâ expels them both from his house and tries to do the same at his wife and childrenâs funerals, symbolizing they have no place in Victorian society. Ellen is seen as a âmelancholic hystericâ who should be institutionalized and Von Franz is a âlaughingstockâ and a âcharlatanâ. So, when Von Franz is talking about âredeem usâ or âour salvationâ; heâs talking about him and Ellen. Only her can redeem them, both, at the eyes of Victorian society. But as Ellen tells him, she needs âno salvationâ, and she doesnât need to redeem herself either, because she has done nothing wrong besides being true to her nature.
Both Ellen and Von Franz are avenged by Ellenâs breaking of the Nosferatu curse because they are proven right, when Victorian society says they are wrong. They are vindicated. Von Franz symbolically gives Ellen back her agency and validates her nature (one for which she has been medicalized her entire life and against which she has been fighting this entire film), like Robert Eggers tells us in one interview: âShe's an outsider. She has this understanding about the shadow side of life that is very deep, but she doesn't have language for that. She's totally misunderstood and no one can see her [...] this demon lover, this vampire [Orlok] who is the one being who can connect with that side of her."
âVindicationâ in Christian theology is connected to another word: âProvidenceâ. âShe has been vindicatedâ and âshe has wonâ have the same meaning. Which is exactly what Robert Eggers tell us about his ending: âBut isnât it interesting that this female archetype who understands the dark side of humanity and is sexualized keeps being reconstituted as the savior of Victorian culture?â
Victorian culture is sexual repression. One of the themes from âDraculaâ novel Eggers is exploring in his film is âthe threat of female sexualityâ; the figure of the "sick woman" as one of the principal ways in which female sexuality manifests as a contagious disease. In âDraculaâ, literary critics (especially feminists) associate this with Lucy Westenra character and her degeneration into vampirism; sheâs âsexualizedâ and, as such, sheâs punished by the narrative with death and vampirism. This is the angle Eggers is exploring in his story. Even Friedrich Harding blames Ellen for the âcontagionâ of his wife, Anna. Which is why Ellen also represents the revenge of her book counterpart.
By accepting Orlok of her own free will, Ellen is accepting herself, embracing her own nature, and wearing âher shameâ like a badge of honor in that final shot. She takes ownership over her own sexuality, breaking free from Victorian society (medicalization and gender roles). Sheâs vindicated or avenged because she has been medicalized, drugged and tied-up because of her mediumship (diagnosed as âmelancholyâ and âhysteriaâ by Victorian doctors), but itâs her empowerment through free sexuality (sex) and spirituality (death) that saves the day, and proves Victorian society wrong. She breaks the curse and free them (herself and Orlok), and everyone else, from Nosferatu plague.
Thereâs nothing sad about Ellen and Orlokâs ending. They both get what they want. Orlok has the rotten vessel in which his soul is trapped in destroyed, setting his spirit free. And as Ellen dies in the physical world, sheâs reborn as the great Pagan priestess she was always meant to be.
Ellen dying alongside Orlok also symbolizes her sexuality getting punished according to Victorian society (because Robert Eggers wants âto stay through the lens of the 19th centuryâ), however, sheâs the one saving everyone by accepting herself, and embracing her nature, at last.
Ellen doesnât sacrifice herself because of Thomas nor to âsave everyoneâ, those are collaterals of the true reason, which is accepting herself and taking ownership over her own sexuality. And the last picture Robert Eggers gives us of Victory society really drives home this point:
Friedrich Harding (the Victorian patriarch) dead on top of his wifeâs corpse (Anna; the Victorian woman ideal) after sexually assaulting her: the ultimate symbol of Victorian women oppression. Wives owned by their husbands, with no agency whatsoever, her bodies and sexuality fully dominated by them, who could physically and sexually assault them with no fear of repercussions because they were their property; and who infected them with âblood plaguesâ (especially syphilis) quite often. Sex as a marital duty for male pleasure alone.
God-fearing, Christian values, morality, decency and concern with social reputation all fall apart in this scene, as Victorian society hypocrisy is brought to light by Professor Von Franz, the occult scholar.
And the last image of the film is "Death and the Maiden" motif, making the "plague theme" come full circle, and also the representation of these two occult characters: Ellen and Orlok, embraced and surrounded by golden sunlight and their symbolic lilacs.
Their union blessed by nature; the great Pagan priestess and the Pagan priest-shaman follower of Zalmoxis, both demonized by Christian Victorian society, together and their sexuality on full display, no longer shameful nor demonic. Ellen is naked (no more corsets); fully embracing herself, fully liberated from Victorian society. Ellen and Orlok are the owners of the secrets of immortality; death, resurrection, rebirth and reincarnation. Their spiritual and sexual union (Sex Magick) has healed them and the world, and the plague was lifted.
This is Christianity vs. Paganism. Friedrich and Anna are in dark (ignorance); while Ellen and Orlok are in light (knowledge). Both men âcanât resistâ these female characters; but while Friedrich used Annaâs corpse for his own sexual pleasure; Orlok gave Ellen pure ecstasy (orgasm), their scene is about her sexual pleasure, not his. Friedrich and Anna are riddled with plague; while Ellen and Orlok are fully healed; Ellen healed Orlok from Nosferatu curse (âhis afflictionâ), and Orlok was the only one who could heal Ellen "sanguine temperament" by draining her blood (âher melancholyâ). They healed each other, and by consequence, they ended the plague for everyone else, and also redeemed Professor Von Franz, who emerges vindicated from their union.
#Nosferatu 2024#Robert Eggers#Ellen Hutter 2024#count Orlok 2024#Friedrich Harding#Anna Harding#professor Von Franz#professor albin eberhart von franz#Von Franz
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At this point I'm tempted to write an essay on spirituality and gender just to SHUT MY MOM UP.Ma'am idk what you thought you raised but it wasn't a daughter, so please stop referring to me as such!
We were visiting my father's grave, well the tree his ashes were buried under, he doesn't have tradition headstone. My mom being my mom talked to him, as if the ashes feeding the tree could talk back. And she kept referring to me as his daughter. Ugh. I'm not even sure if she remembers me being trans or if she suppressed that conversation so hard she completely forgot but it's getting on my nerves.
#personal#I think she's might be in denial herself#Maybe maybe not#I would just like her to REMEMBER#Honestly it should be EASIER to explain someone who's neither man nor woman to a religious person#What are angles? And spirits? And the soul?#What are Buddhas!? Why do you pray to Devine mothers/fathers but can't comprehend me??#At this point I'm just screaming into the void#What of genders in other cultures#Many of which have religious connotations!#WHY ARE YOU SO STEADFAST IN WESTERN IDEALS OF GENDER WHEN YOU YOURSELF ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE WHITE IS BADtm#Seriously. Both my perants acknowledge how much white Europeans hurt the whole fucking world with their colonial bullshit#And yet heteronormativity and gender roles created and held by those same people must be right
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venus
#just Venus cause I gave up on the anatomical part#uhhh do not zoom in on this one#vtm#vtmb#vampire the masquerade#artists on tumblr#tremere#who is that angel you may ask. thats just her spirit going to check on the awkward angle her evil girlfriend left her body in#< yes ik vampires dont have souls i just had a lot of empty space#/cressida#art#scarabocchi#digital art#what kind of core is this. it certainly is one#vabbe sarĂ mid ma hit post
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there's nothing boyfriend!chris loves more than to fuck with your head. he enjoys mind fucking you.
he loves to see you lose yourself to him. submit entirely mind, body and soul.
when he holds you flush against his broad chest he looks into your eyes that aren't looking back, fixed into nothing, barely hanging to consciousness.
he fucks you deep and slow. the perfect pace to keep you right where he wants you: on the edge of it all.
âthat's it baby. you take me so wellâ he whispers, lips pressed to the shell of your ear as he tilts your chin up gently. your eyes come back into focus as you let a little sound escape your lips. halfway between a moan and a whine.
ââyou're being so good for me, my angelâ he says, smiling down at you. you whine again and chris starts to speed up, your whole body feels so hot, steadily getting closer to its breaking point.Â
ââyou're gonna continue to be my good girl, right? he says, this time the benevolent smiles turns into a sly smirk. but chris can't help it, not when heâs got you like this: pliant, docile and on the verge of insanity.Â
âyesssâ you moan, interspersed by chrisâ sharp thrusts.
âwhat don't good girls do, my love?â he taunts you. he can't help but tease you when he's got you so fucked out.
âgood girls don't cumâ you say, feeling your exhausted little cunt clench around chrisâ big cock perfectly stroking your sensitive spot. he knows at this angle it's almost a guarantee you won't be able to hold it back. the first big tear spill from your eye and rolls on you cheek as you can't help but to moan louder for him. only for him.
âpleaseâ you choke on a sob with a particularly purposeful thrust.
âwhat is it, darling?âÂ
âplease slow down I'm gonna c-â one other powerful thrust cuts you and you arch your back into the mattress, your pussy gushes out more slick and really clamps down on chrisâ fat cock inside you scraping you just right, just how you like it. this time you managed to hold it in but you start to panic. next time won't be like this. âplease chrisâŠaaahh⊠pleaseplease slow down-â you start to beg.Â
fuck how fucking beautiful you look like this on the verge of madness, fear pooling in your eyes, spirit brittle and body broken.
âplease, i-i don't want to cumâ
there it is. chris twitches inside you as you utter the words. you both know there's nothing you desire more in the entire universe right now. your cheeks flooded with tears, your pussy making squelching wet noises with each of your boyfriendâs coming and going, your thighs trembling and your eager little clit throbbing. your whole body is desperate for the release. your whole being is aching for your orgasm. you both know that. and the fact that youâre saying otherwise just shows how dedicated you are to him.
you are perfect. so fucking perfect chris could have cummed right there. but he didn't instead he took one hand to place on your throbbing clit.
âthen don't, babyâ he murmurs as he starts to tease it in tight, fast circles. making you complain. âthen don't fucking cum, angelâ
he starts plowing his fat angry cock into you, fucking you into the mastress, pinning your legs wide open for him with a bruising grip and rubbing your clit. he sets you up for failure. he loves to see you fail to hold it in. he loves to see you cry, to hear you scream, to watch you fall apart.Â
he loves to break you. just to put you back together right after.
skz masterlist | navigation
#bangchan smut#stray kids smut#bang chan smut#bang chan#bangchan#bang chan stray kids#stray kids#skz#skz smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan x you#stay kids bang chan#kpop smut
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dacryphilia baby!
simon's never really liked tears. people cry ugly, in his opinion. they get puffy-eyed, sclera bloodshot. their features twist ungracefully in their anguish, cheeks damp and ruddy. snot drips down their nose; clear, viscous. their mouths gape mid-sob, their shoulders tremble violently as they snort and gasp between fragmented words.
(never mind that the only time he's ever around a crying someone is when he stands in an interrogation room with a broken man who has crumbled under the pain he's inflicted, begging for mercy, coughing up anything and everything he needs to know.)
until he met you, with your bright eyes, soft lips, and gentle spirit.
tears suddenly make his cock throb. the first time he'd seen them, you'd been straddling his lap, wet heat struggling to stretch and accommodate to his size. your eyes glistened with unshed tears as you sank onto him, keening at feeling so full and he's barely halfway in. brave, little pet. sinking your teeth into your bottom lip to keep from making too much noise. you'd looked a dream when your cunt finally swallowed him whole, thighs flush against his, looking up at him triumphantly with beads of moisture on your clumped lashes.
the second time, you'd been stressed from work, nerves raw and frayed, and patience nonexistent. nothing he couldn't fix with his head between your thighs. he plopped you on the kitchen counter, ignoring your snarling protests, and lapped up your slick with the thirst of a man lost in a desert. you came in minutes, hiccupping his name through sharp gasps of breath. you'd been spent after, body slumping with fatigue post torrent of cathartic release. he'd held your face in one hand, fingers dimpling your cheeks as he fucked your thighs, covering your cunt with his spend when a singular tear spilled from the corner of your eye.
and now. he clings to the idea of making you cry from overstimulation. he wants to see tears track down your dampened cheeks, yearns to taste salt on his tongue, aches to see your eyes glimmering under the warm glow of the bedroom lamp in the bedroom. the mere thought of your tears flowing down your face in rivulets leaves him momentarily unbalanced. he could burst in his pants untouched.
you're always so pliable beneath him, so giving when he wants to take. simon slides a finger through your wet folds, gently prodding your entrance, teasing. he knows exactly what to do to get you to the brink and keep you thereâ teetering that knife's sharpened edge of biting discomfort and searing ecstasy. "so close, m'so close," you garble as you try to buck your hips (he pins them down to the bed firmly, you will receive what he gives and nothing more) and he keeps at it until your throbbing pussy hurts from being held back from the edge. until you beg him with shimmering eyes to please, please, let you come. you'll be good, so good, justâ please.
he gives it to you, satisfied with how delicious you lookâ all glossy-lipped and luminous eyesâ swirling your swollen pearl under his thumb until you climax, pushing two fingers into your cunt so you can have something to clench around. your soul is barely coming back down from the heavens when he's pressing your thighs against your chest, knees almost to shoulders, feeling the air in your lungs being punched out of you when he bottoms out in one long stroke. the angle is on the verge of too much, feeling that deep pinch in your stomach you'd felt the very first time he rut his cock into you.
simon can see your eyes well with fresh tears, his throat drying at the sight. he starts to put his weight behind each thrust, hearing the squeaks that fall past your lips. you take what he gives you so well, pride prickling in the base of his skull. it tightens the coil that's spooling oh so ever tighter beneath his navel but it's not enough. he wants what he wants.
he weaves a hand down to your sensitive clit, rubbing tight circles on it until he feels your walls fluttering and squeeze him like a vicious vise. it rips the breath out of him, almost has him fucking his cum into you but he sharpens his focusâ gritting his teeth to keep from ending the fun. his iron will has never been so useful. you're wriggling beneath him now as if trying to get away from him (as if you could) because he keeps touching your clit. your legs are shaking, your mewls are loud enough to cause a ringing in his ears but he quickly gets you to another orgasm. you're a sobbing mess now; hiccups, gasps, high-pitched squeals.
and tears. full-blown tears spill, roll down your pretty face, sticking strands of your hair to cheeks. he wants to see this forever. wants it etched behind his eyelids, wants it inked on his skin (what a thought. he just might, no one has to know.)
he relents, abandoning your over-sensitized clit to grab at your fleshy hips to piston into you until he comes with a groan (and salt on his lips)
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley#cod smut#simon riley x you#simon riley smut
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Lancer Tactics dialogue layout crisis of faith
(from this month's backer update)
Every so often, I'll run into something in development that eats away at me until it pushes me to a crisis of faith and I have a breakdown, burn down a bunch of work, and build something better from the ashes. These are moments of transformation and we're almost always able to come out the other side with something much better than what we started with.
This all sounds very dramatic until you take a step back and see the issue in question is just, like, the layout of a menu. But if medieval priests were able to have schisms over angels on pins I can have strong feelings about graphic design, dammit!
This month's episode revolved around how we're doing character dialogue. For reference the plan was to do a standard 4-slot visual-novel talking heads layout. I call it a 4-slot because there's usually four positions that characters can stand; two on the left, two on the right:
I had it ingame, and it was working. But... something felt off. Do you see the difference between every one of the above examples and this?
It's all about perspective, baby.
Answer: all the character art in those examples are drawn at a slight angle so they can be flipped back and forth to be made like they're looking at each other.
Trying to do this with the perspective we chose early â straight on â makes for a chorus line of weirdos who are looking directly into your soul as they ostensibly chat with each other. Credulity is strained; the illusion of these puppets interacting in the same space is paper-thin.
(I was skeptical of choosing this perspective for this reason, but we ultimately went with it to make the customizable assets in the portrait maker easier to fit together)
We tried a bunch of different layouts, but they all at least one of these problems:
they'd stare into your soul while ostensibly directing comments elsewhere.
they felt like text messages; this would be fine if that's what we were going for, but we wanted something that could represent face-to-face conversations. (Tactical Breach Wizards was able to pull this style off because they had little 3D dioramas to go along with it)
or, most damning of all, they felt like zoom calls.
So, my heart aflutter and spirit in want, I spent a day doing a research dive into various dialogue layouts (bless the Game UI Database!) to see if any other games had managed to pull this character art perspective off. I ended up with this massive non-chronological taxonomic tree:
(fullsize here)
The type of layout that particularly caught my eye was this style where each character had their own little box. These layouts borrow a concept from comic books called "closure" where the space and time between characters are left blank. Freed from the constraints of trying to simulate a single space, these layouts allow the reader to fill in the blanks with something that feels more true-to-life than anything we'd be able to render ourselves.
I was especially impressed with the dynamism of Tales of Symphonia and The World Ends With You; rather than sticking to single slots they would animate the entire panels moving around to indicate motion an relative position of characters.
So we threw out the old code and copied them. Here's what we've come up with:
We'll be able to have portraits interact, like smacking each other (I felt like a kid hitting two action figures together, lol)
We can also apply effects like princess-leia-holograms and full-screen "lighting" effects like warning banners:
Carpenter and I came up with a number of arrangements that the portraits can smoothly transition between:
I've also implemented support for choices during a dialogue, potentially leading to branching paths.
Overall, I feel SO much better about this system than our initial designs. It might feel a little more cartoony, but I think we're making a cartoony game so that's not a problem.
Whew. We bit a lot off to chew with this project. I feel like I just made a second visual novel game engine inside of the first. Fingers crossed that it all ends up worth it.
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muse
Amy March x Fem Reader
Word Count: 1k
Summary: While in Paris, Amy needs a nude model to practice anatomy and you volunteer without a second thought.
A/N: i genuinely have no idea if anyone will read this but i adore amy and this has been sitting in my drafts for probably a year and a half or longer so i figured i should finally post it
You honestly didnât think twice before volunteering yourself when Amy mentioned that she wanted to practice anatomy with a model. She'd just complained that men were usually the only ones with the privilege of having them.
Youâve been friends with Amy since she first came to Paris and she felt like a breath of fresh air. You differ from most Parisians in that you prioritize what you want to do rather than what others think you should do, and Amy liked that about you. Her bright smile, free spirit, and warm personality were what initially drew you to her.
Lately, youâve been afraid that Amy would discover that you're into women, especially after how eagerly you volunteered to be her model, but the enthusiastic grin she gave as she clapped her hands together in excitement eased your concerns.
Standing awkwardly in an expensive robe beside Amy as she gets her paints ready, you wait anxiously for her to tell you what to do.
Now youâre tying Amyâs smock for her, hyper-aware of how cold the room is and you let your hands rest carefully at her waist for half a second as you take a breath to calm yourself.
Amy turns to face you, sensing that youâve finished since she couldnât feel your hands moving anymore, âYou look nervous.â
âIs it really that obvious?â
âItâs okay, Iâm nervous, too.â
You roll your eyes playfully at that, âWhat do you have to be nervous about?â
âIâve never done this before either, and I want to do it well because⊠itâs important that your beauty is captured perfectly.â
Your face flushes and you bite your bottom lip, now noticing the nervousness in Amyâs body language after she mentioned it.
âIâm confident that it will be perfect, everything you touch practically turns to gold.â
Amy blushes and dips her head, âI donât know about that.. but thank you.â
You shake your head and wave her off, âYou donât have to thank me, itâs the truth.â
The two of you hold eye contact, and for a moment it feels like Amy is looking into your soul. She opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by a knock on the door.
She clears her throat and turns away from you, towards the door, âCome in.â
You watch one of Amyâs auntâs staff come inside and talk to her briefly about an upcoming party Mrs March is throwing. When she leaves, Amy turns back to you with a tightlipped smile, âAre you ready to get started?â
You muster up the courage to nod and she takes one of your hands in her own. You notice it's warmth as she leads you to where she wants you to sit.
Once you're seated on the stool she's set up for you, you move to untie the robe, but Amyâs hand stops you. You look up at her and watch her swallow, âI-Iâve been thinking that maybe you should sit and then we fix the robe so itâs draped over your arms⊠What do you think about that?â
You nod silently and sit on the wooden chair, anxiety bubbling up inside you.
Amy then carefully reaches out, taking your chin between her pointer finger and thumb, and angles your face the slightest bit towards the window. She glances right at your lips before releasing your face and you have to convince yourself that you didnât imagine it.
She backs up a few paces and chews on her bottom lip until you assume sheâs decided that she likes the way the sun is hitting your face. âOK,â was all she said before walking back over.
You know what comes next, but your heart still stutters when Amy stands right in front of you and looks at you with an expression that you could only imagine being her way of asking for your consent.
âGo ahead,â you say quietly, and watch her intensely as she loosens the knot that ties the robe closed. You feel her fingers graze your stomach as she pulls the fabric apart.
When you look back up at her, you realize that sheâs avoiding looking at your breasts, and her face has flushed.
âAre you okay?â
âI just-â she lets out a big breath and you shiver as the warm air tickles your face.
âYou can relax, Ames, itâs just me,â you say, although at the forefront of your mind was how hard your heart was hammering in your chest.
She stays silent while you continue looking at her. She glances down at your lips again, you look at hers, and in a moment of confidence, you lean up and kiss her.
You shut your eyes tightly and both of you freeze for a moment. You donât even dare to breathe until Amy leans closer.
She rests a gentle hand just above your knee as she pulls away, breathing heavily, her face still inches from yours. As you look at her, you suddenly have so many things you want to say to her. The dreams youâve had of her, how long youâve been aching to kiss her, how utterly beautiful she is, but you donât get to say any of that because sheâs pulling you in and kissing you feverishly before you can.
Your hands fly to her shoulders, steadying yourself, and you almost faint when you feel Amyâs hand at your bare waist. Her touch is electrifying and your head buzzes contently as her tongue swipes across your bottom lip, a request for more.
When you moan against her mouth, her grip at your waist tightens and you have to pull your lips from hers to take a breath, âYouâre incredible, Amy. Youâre beautiful -â
You're interrupted by the blondeâs venture to your neck. She nips at the skin of your neck deliciously. âYouâre the muse here,â she teases.
You chuckle as your hand finds its way to her hair. You were happy to see that Amy had regained her confidence and was almost surprised by her forwardness, but you knew she had it in her.
When Amyâs hand bravely found its way to your breast, the moan that escaped your lips echoed throughout the room. She bit down as if to punish you, but you werenât so sure that it could be considered a punishment if you enjoyed it so much.
âYou have to be quiet if you want me to keep going, darling, thereâs staff around outside.â
Your cheeks flush red at the suggestiveness in her tone and it takes everything in you to take her head in your hands and guide her away from your neck.
She's wearing an expression of confusion and you can see a bit of panic in her eyes, "What's wrong?"
You chuckle and take her hand, squeezing it to reassure her, "Nothing, it's just - you have to paint, Ames. I know this is important to you."
"Right, I forgot," she blushes, releasing a sigh of relief.
Amy is about to start repositioning you again before you pull her towards you for another kiss. Before either of you can get lost in it, you pull away, "Hey, but after you're all done, if you wanted, my schedule for the rest of the day is clear so -"
"Yes," she interrupts you, a bright smile on her face.
#amy march#amy march x reader#little women#little women 2019#florence pugh#florence pugh x reader#amy march x female reader#wlw#sapphic fic#yelena belova#yelena belova x reader
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bones. bones they made moonpaw a schizophrenia and plurality stereotype. bones. bones help us
OH NO IS THAT WHY THERE'S 16 MESSAGES
I TURNED MY BACK FOR 5 MINUTES GREAT GOOGLY FUCKELING MOOGELY
I still have to finish reading Star (you have to forgive me for being a capital G Gamer who's been uber distracted) to gather together my final fair assessment, so I can start putting down the fragments for BB!ASC. But I WILL tell you this;
The whole Moonpaw Discourse from a couple of months ago really opened my eyes to just how pervasive intersexism and plurality stereotyping is, even in this space.
Not all of it is malice-- like many other cultural biases, people often just pick up negative stereotypes passively and don't realize they reflect poorly on real people. "Scary evil head voice" is one of them. Yes, intrusive thoughts exist (they are something I deal with), but it's about the snap, subconscious association between "voice in head" and "mental torment."
As the case and point; Look at how FAST the fandom conversation changed when the team first teased it. What was a fantastical, equal parts sincere love and horror exploration of shipping a cat with a magic pool morphed. Overnight, The Voice was an abusive thing, an expression of a dead baby who wanted to live, or a reincarnated monster, or another evil Ashfur-esque posession spirit.
Something bad, malicious, unwanted. By contrast, the voice of the moonpool was mostly portrayed as a supernatural yet good thing. Genuinely asking her for help.
(Part of me also ponders the religious angle of it. "Voices in my head" that come from God are generally much more socially acceptable than "Voices in my head" that come from the self. Regardless,)
So, as always, I Don't Rewrite Arcs Until They Are Done (I DRAU TAD, if you will), BUT... I know for certain that I will want to subvert this.
If Canon!Moonpaw must be a system, and we're all ready to buckle up and bunker down through how the Erins handle this one, then for BB!Moonpaw I'll try to do the same. But for my portrayal, I want to write her relationship with her headmate to be generally positive. Or at least more complicated and multifaceted.
One idea in particular I like is the thought that she absorbed a twin... but writing it as a chance the twin GETS to live, NOT a life denied. Death would have claimed them if they didn't become part of her. So, they love her-- of course they do. They're two souls with one heart.
The specifics will have to come with time. I need to see how her plurality impacts the plot, the overall story being told, plus wait to assess the criticisms that real systems and fusion chimeras in our fandom will have. But I can say with certainty that I would like to attempt my redux with the sad truth in mind that headmates in media are almost never approached as non-malicious. I'd like to do what I can to make a difference.
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Darkest Part (5) - Bad Medicine
Astrid Deetz x female Reader
Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isnât a single thing youâd like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just canât stay away from her.
Masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next Part (Finale)
Word count: 6.5k
-Your love is like bad medicine, bad medicine is what I need-
The afterlife was so damn random. Your first experience with afterlife was an office with a bunch of tall men with shrunken heads. Some of them had only one eye! And not in the eyepatch kind of way, but in the one big eye like a cyclops way! And one of them was dressed exactly like Beetlejuice, and that was the most normal thing in this entire office! âWhat the fuck,â you whispered as Beetlejuice turned to the one dressed just like him.
âBob, you and the boys stand guard! Nobody gets through,â he then turned to Lydia âLet's go, honey,â well you were already here so there was no going back. Why were you doing this again? Oh, yeah, because Astrid went and got herself into trouble. You went after him and Lydia only to be met with even more randomness and the utter bizarre feeling permeating this entire world. You realized everything was tilted, the floors, the walls, absolutely everything in this place was at an angle and it wasn't even consistent! If it wasn't for this kind of circumstance, you would actually marvel at the architecture of all of this.
âWeâre like Bonnie and Clyde, you and me, without bullet holes,â Beetlejuice pointed out almost giddily as he led you and Lydia down the halls.
âDo you even know where weâre going?â Lydia wasn't having any of it.
âYou go right down the hallway, three rights through the ninth door right,â he pumped his fist. âTo the Soul Train,â Beetlejuice instructed you and it made it sound like he wasn't going with you.
âWhere are you going? Lydia asked immediately, for all her dislike of the whatever Beetlejuice was he did seem powerful, and if you were going to save Astrid from the clutches of death you might as well have someone powerful on your side. Someone who actually knew where you were supposed to head after you rescue her.
âIâm gonna go to the little boyâs room first,â why did a guy that was probably a powerful demon or spirit of sort and probably very, very old, just use that phrase? Why was he so immature? Just why?
âFuck it, let's just go,â you ran through the halls following the directions Beetlejuice gave you and soon enough you could see the crowd forming on your path. âThatâs a good sign,â you told Lydia and she nodded. The crowd did slow you down a bit, but not by a lot, they seemed more interested in dancing and having fun rather than actually getting to their destination. Well, if after life was for an eternity then you guessed they didn't really have anywhere to rush, they would have all the time in the world.
Unless there were something you didn't know about and ghosts could die and now your head hurt because you were thinking about too many things that you didn't need to think about right now! You entered the train station that looked kind of like a disco themed train station and the music playing kind of gave it that feel too. You looked over the crowd from the stairs looking for Astrid but all you could see was a lot of dead people.
âAstrid!â Lydia yelled from the stairs and then you caught sight of the two people dragging someone in a dress that looked a lot like what Astrid was wearing for Halloween.
âThere,â was no way you would mistake anyone for her. âThere she is!â you pointed your finger towards her and jumped over the fence running through the crowd as quickly as you could, pushing through the ghosts just as Astrid was pushed on to the train. âDamn it!â you cursed trying to keep your sight on the doors they pushed Astrid through. âAstrid!â you yelled as loud as you could, for the first time ever saying her name, though that didn't even cross your mind, and you pushed through the door where she stood, frozen in fear and clearly panicking on the inside. âCome on, let's get out of here,â you grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the train just as Lydia caught up to you.
âAstrid!â Lydia quickly pulled her into a hug and Astrid immediately wrapped her arms around her mother. There was no hesitation, or resentment Astrid carried up until now, there was just pure happiness at seeing her mother.
You smiled, happy that you made it in time, though you would still have to find the bastard that tricked Astrid into trading her soul. You should have known things were going too easy. Not only did the guys that pushed Astrid into the train came back due to all the commotion you made, but there were also some guys dressed like police officers pointing toward you and Lydia. âWe need to run!â you yelled and all three of you looked around for an exit that wasn't blocked.
âOver there,â Lydia pointed at the door to your left.
âYouâre such a pain in the ass,â you muttered to Astrid as the three of you began running.
âSave it for later, Barnacle,â she hissed at you, but you could tell she knew this was still a really bad situation. For all you knew you would be running right into another trap and you had no idea how to reunite with Beetlejuice so he could help you deal with the rest of Astridâs problem.
Since you reached it first you forcefully pushed the doors open, only to stumble forward and fall face first into the sand from way too high. How were you not hurt? Sure, the sand cushioned your fall, but stillâŠ
A shriek from above made your eyes widen and the next thing you felt was a body falling right on top of you and not only knocking all the air out of your lungs but also managed to fill your mouth with sand.
âSorry,â of course it was Astrid that fell on top of you.
You just spat out the sand that got into your mouth and sighed, at this point you should have been concerned about your safety and health, but from the looks of it, working for Delia made you free from such petty burdens. Still, unlike falling onto the sand, this one hurt, like actually hurt, and you just knew you would be feeling it for a long time. âForget the chihuahua you are much heavier than that. You're an entire pack of chihuahuas!â you groaned, and accidentally missed the smile on her face as she patted you on the shoulder.
âAt least you've softened the fall for me, Y/N,â did she just say your name? You must have hit your head. That was the only explanation.
You laughed mockingly. âThat's exactly what I intended. My life's purpose is now fulfilled, and I can die in peace,â sarcasm dripped from your voice as you stood up with a long, audible, groan. You were 95% certain you would end up with back pain for the rest of your life from Astrid falling on top of you.
Astrid groaned and smacked her forehead. âYou didn't just say that. Right here and right now,â she sighed, and well, you supposed this was a really bad timing.
No regrets though! In fact, you were rather satisfied grinning with pride.
âAnd you regret nothing, of course you donât,â she pinched the bridge of her nose, but you swore you could see a smile on her face. Astrid finally looked around and you felt absolutely lost, after all, all you were seeing was all the sand and more sand and endless sand around you. âHey, where are we?â Astrid asked what probably all three of you were thinking.
âI don't know,â Lydia admitted and you just shrugged. Geography really wasn't your strongest suit but it didn't look like any desert you were aware of.
âIs that Saturn?â you followed Astridâs line of sight and the direction she was pointing at, and sure enough⊠there was a fucking planet right there! âSo, we must be on one of its moons? I swear the afterlife is so random!â
âYou can say that again,â you said, you definitely weren't guessing that from just the planet but now that you looked at it, it really did seem obvious. Still, damn this girl was smart.
All of a sudden the sand close to you began shaking and looking like it was rippling, like something underneath it was moving.
âMaybe we should just, you know, run!â there was no way that was a good sign and you werenât about to wait for Astrid and Lydia to get the message, you just pushed them away from the sand and began running away from whatever was moving under the sand. From the looks of it, it was big and you did not want to risk becoming a dinner for some afterlife monster.
And you made a good decision as something emerged from the sand and you looked back. âHoly shit!â you cried out. It was some kind a huge worm and it was easily bigger than any animal aside from a whale that you ever saw.
âSandworm!â Lydia identifying the creature wasnât helping, but now you would at least know you got eaten by a sandworm if you failed to escape.
âGot any idea how to escape?!â you glanced at Lydia. She was the expert, surely she had-
âNone! Just keep running!â yeah, great, that would work, especially when the sandworm caught up to them much faster than they were running. And then by some miracle a door opened above you.
âTake my hand!â someone yelled, and at this point you didnât care if it was a demon, or police, or anything, as long as it wasnât this sandworm. You and Lydia let Astrid up first, and then Lydia pushed you to go ahead next. You were not about to argue with her, so you let the man pull you up and then helped him bring Lydia up as well and he closed the door right as the sandworm collided with it.
You dropped down on the floor and took several deep breaths. There would be a lot to unpack here if you survived. And the worst thing about it? If you told any of this to roughly 99% or even every single psychiatrist youâd be sent to an asylum.
âDad,â Astrid whispered and you finally glanced at the man that saved you. Actually, now that you looked at him, you could see some resemblance, especially if one ignored the color of his skin and the fishes attached to his body eating his flesh. Well, at least someone was making some good memories in this damn world. The best you had this far was Astrid falling on top of you, and that would probably leave long-lasting consequences on your back. Astrid and Lydia hugged the man and you just sat back, letting the family reunion unfold undisturbed by your presence.
~X~
Astrid's dad let you all into an office of sorts and poured coffee into the mugs as Lydia and Astrid sat at the table you stood back not really sure how to act and not wanting to intrude on the family reunion. Besides, there was another issue, as much as you could see that Astrid needed some closure and a moment with her dad you also knew your time was ticking. Not to mention there was some kind of police after you and Lydia for entering this world while still being alive, and there was also the bastard that stole Astrid's life to be dealt with. So, as much as you understood Astrid needed to have this moment with her father you also knew you just had to go.
In fact, you had to leave five minutes ago.
âMarie Curie, after the radiation poisoning. Right?â her dad asked, and you finally took a better look at her. You didnât dare to ask her what her costume was when she was leaving and now that you looked at her properly and her dad pointed it out, well, it was obviousâŠ
Like hell it was!
Who would look at that dress and immediately go: âOh, yeah, Marie Curie!â and sure, it was pretty much as close to her dress and hairstyle from one of her most well-known photos, but still! How many people would remember the exact dress right away?
âLearnt from the best,â but Astrid did look proud of herself, so you figured you should let the chihuahua be delusional. Â
âWe made a great kid,â Astridâs dad turned to Lydia and no matter what you did less than an hour ago you were very tempted to disagree.
âI know you can't see me, but I check in on your both all the time,â okay, that was actually really sweet. âAnd I don't want to be the reason that drove you two apart, you need each other, you make each other better. Always have,â you blinked a few times, taking in the image of the happy family hug.
This was too wholesome for your own good. This was not the side of Astrid you needed to see!
Damn it!
When the family separated Astrid glanced at you and froze for a moment before smirking. âDonât go soft on me now, Barnacle,â she just had to call you out, didnât she?!
Blood rushed to your face, and you were sure steam burst out of your ears. Considering how crazy and absurd this whole place was, maybe it did happen. âI am not! And quit wasting time, we need to get your soul back, you damn chihuahua!â you swiftly left the room. You would get Astridâs soul back, leave this afterlife world, and never see the damn chihuahua again!
Astrid walked out after you, with her parents right behind her. âCome on, before our cantankerous Barnacle gets lost,â she said it with a strange sense of cheerfulness in her tone, but that was the least of your worries.
âCan-Cantan- Iâm sorry, what?!â you stammered, not even remotely capable of figuring out the meaning of that word.
âCranky, grumpy,â her dad provided, and you finally figured out where she got it from.
âFucking chihuahua,â you felt your eye twitching as she just laughed at you.
âCome on,â while still laughing she actually went and grabbed your forearm, pulling you along. âWhich way, dad?â she asked, turning to her dad as you focused on her hand wrapped around your forearm.
âRight down the hall, we need to stop him before the transfer becomes permanent,â her dad took lead, and you could feel Astridâs grip on your arm getting tighter and it finally made sense to you. She needed a sense of normality, so she provoked you, so she could, at least for a moment, forget her life was still on the line.
~X~
You followed Astridâs dad through the halls, having no idea which way you were going but according to him you would need to intercept the bastard that tricked Astrid before he got his passport stamped and made the transfer permanent. Why was it so easy for him to accomplish his goal while you, frankly, had no idea how to get the process reversed.
You didn't know what you could do to stop him, sure you could catch him, but what then? âHey, how do we make him give Astridâs soul back?â because you doubted a monster like him would just hand it over.
Astridâs dad stopped for a moment. âI'm not sure, weâll figure it out after we catch him,â he turned to Astrid. âWeâll figure it out, sweetheart, I promise you.â
âDad,â Astrid whispered now uncertain what the outcome of this would be.
âI promise,â he repeated even though all four of you knew that deep down maybe this was an empty promise.
And it damn near was just an empty promise.
You reached the entrance of the officers only to see the guy smirking smugly. He was too far away, you couldnât reach him. âDon't stamp that passport!â Astridâs dad yelled but it was too late whoever was behind the counter stamped the passport.
âYou're too late, man,â he said and your eyes widened as you, instinctively rather than through a conscious effort, caught Astrid as she slumped back. Your heart beat wildly inside of your chest, how could you have let this happen? You looked at Astrid and you couldn't even apologize. You all failed her, the transfer was complete and she would die right here. You just didn't make it in time.
But then as if by some miracle the floor opened beneath the man and he just fell through into the flames. Then you saw what happened, the one who put the stamp on the transfer was Beetlejuice. A sense of relief flooded you, but you could not ignore how useless you felt. If he wasn't there you would have failed, this would have all been for nothing.
There wasnât time to celebrate though. âThis way!â Astrid's dad led you once more, after all, you still had the police after you and Lydia to worry about. He led you until you reached a small room with a crooked ladder leading through an opening in the ceiling.
âOK, this is as far as I go,â Astridâs dad said and immediately Astrid hugged him.
âI love you,â she whispered wanting him to know that because there was no telling when she would get the chance to say it again.
âI love you too, sweetheart. Have an amazing life,â he held her as tightly as he possibly could before letting her go and looking at both her and Lydia. âTake care of each other, I'll see you later,â he told them both. Â
The three of you climbed outside and it turned out you were back at the cemetery, somehow. âI'm not even going to question anything,â you sighed, at this point learning to accept that the things around this family were just going to be weird and you had no control over it.
It definitely felt good to breathe in some fresh air. Even if your back hurt. âYup, this is going to keep hurting,â you thought and frowned as you massaged your lower back.
Astrid turned to Lydia. âThank you for saving my life! I'm so sorry I never believed that you saw ghosts and, Iâm just sorry for all of it,â Astrid was crying for the first time since you met her, she apologized with all of her heart to Lydia, and you looked away not wanting to interrupt the moment.
It just crossed your mind that you had no place in any of this. You were, at best, Delia's assistant who just happened to be there. You had no connection to either Lydia or Astrid other than the fact that you and Astrid did not exactly like each other, so being here actually felt uncomfortable.
Now that the adrenaline was gone and Astrid was saved you caught yourself wondering why you even went after Astrid. Lydia could have done it herself and you went and risked your life for someone you claimed to hate, and it was the most ridiculous decision you could have made.
âOh my God, my wedding!â Lydiaâs shout broke you out of your thoughts and that was the last thing you expected to hear from her right now, but here you were.
âWait, mom, after everything that's happened tonight you know you don't have to do this, right?â Astrid went after her mother and then she realized you weren't following her. She turned to you grabbed you by the hand, pulling you along.
âWait, Chihuahua!â you protested, but you really should have known you werenât going to accomplish anything.
âCome on, please. After all of this I canât deal with this wedding alone,â she admitted and you sighed, deciding to leave the feelings related to whether you should or shouldn't have gone after Astrid for later. At the end of the day, you did the right thing. You wanted to save her life consequences be damned, you had no intention of feeling guilt over that. And the feeling of her hand wrapped around your made that decision much easier.
âI might as well deal with this stupid wedding as well,â you shrugged, ignoring how your heart speed up when she smiled at your words.
Satisfied that you were coming with her and still holding your hand, Astrid turned to her mother once more. âAre you sure about this?â
Lydia was not sure, you could tell that. but she probably figured that if she didnât do it now she would just get cold feet later and give up on the wedding altogether. Which would be a smart thing to do but you doubted she would reach that decision that easily. âRory loves me and that's gotta be enough,â there was definitely something about her Rory loved, and you really believed it wasnât what Lydia thought it was.
The three of you went into the church and the relief on Rory's face looked genuine, which was actually surprising, but then you heard the crowd already filming the event sitting on the pews and it all made sense. âOh my God, I thought you got cold feet.â
âNo, blame me. She just saves me for my date from hell,â Astrid sad and you probably couldn't describe what happened to her in a better way. A date from hell has never been so literal.
âWho are all these people?â Lydia was understandably confused as she looked at the people Rory invited, and you could tell she didnât recognize any of them.
âJust a couple of influencers. Nobody under 5 million followers and I think we have a Netflix executive in here,â and Rory found nothing wrong with that. He had his ideas and he was not going to compromise them for the sake of Lydiaâs comfort, and you know for a fact that she said she didn't want too many guests, that she wanted this to be private.
âDamn you're an asshole,â you shook your head, only now realizing Delia wasnât here, and sure, she could be self-absorbed at times, and she disliked Rory, but she wouldnât miss this. âWhere is Delia?â you asked.
âRight here! Sheâs helping me calm down before the wedding,â and Beetlejuice was right here, probably to collect on his part of the deal with Delia somehow right with him.
How did that even-? You werenât even going to bother anymore. You thought the madness would be over by now, but no, the show was still going on.
You patted Astrid on the shoulder and just slumped against the wall until you sat down. âLook, Iâm just gonna sit here and rest for a bit, I need a moment,â was there a way to get therapy and avoid being sent to an asylum for the rest of your life?
Astrid had a strangely compassionate look on face. âYeah, sure. Thanks for being here, and I mean it,â somehow you trusted her, even with all the banter and fights between the two of you. She crouched down so she was at your eye-level. âI mean it, Y/N,â you definitely trusted her and you smiled nudging her lightly toward her mother.
What followed was the back and forth between Beetlejuice and Rory that you frankly didn't care about much but what really got your attention was when Beetlejuice just randomly manifested a syringe with something inside of it and injected Rory with it. And apparently what was within it was some kind of a truth serum.
Rory looked like he was trying to stay silent, but then he couldnât hold it back anymore. âI always thought your whole act was bullshit! I never believed in ghosts, spirits or any of it,â well now you were kind of happy you didn't go back to the house because seeing this emotional manipulator get his just deserts was worth it.
âWhat? All this time? Why did you want to get married?â Lydia had the most reasonable reaction to Rory's confession, but you honestly had to wonder just how he managed to trick her so well she.
âMoney! I knew I could make more as your husband than I could as your manager! Oh, and I never had a dead fiancĂ©! I just went to that survivors retreat so that I can weak women and exploit them and I hit the codependent lottery when I met you!â he was truly, absolutely a scumbag. An ever bigger one than you imagined.
And then Beetlejuice continued to defy all the laws of logic and the nature and created a boxing glove on Lydia's right hand, which somehow gave Lydia enough strength to punch Rory across the church.
âOkay, that was satisfying to see, but what the hell is going on here? Just how?â you asked blankly, just for a moment wondering why you even bothered trying to reasonably explain things happening tonight.
âBeats me, we got to see Rory flying,â Astrid pointed out and well you couldnât see the flaw in that logic. âSay, what would you confess if someone injecting that into you?â oh noâŠ
âI can arrange that,â Beetlejuice said before you could react and one second later you felt a needle pierce your neck and off you went just like Rory did.
You werenât even trying to fight it. âI don't hate you, at all. Actually, I kinda like you. I mean, you do annoy me, but I like you. Uh, thanks for you know, fixing my drawing and I'm really impressed by your vocabulary, and that really infuriates me because I have to Google a lot of words because of you,â you took a deep breath and just sighed, not even capable of looking at Astrid right now because of how embarrassed you were. âAnd I think you are really beautiful, and damn that thing really works⊠Oh my God, this is a nightmare,â you glanced at Astrid and saw she was completely red in the face. âWell, at least seeing you blush makes it worth it,â you had to shut your mouth and make a genuine effort to keep more of how you felt from spilling out.
âBarnacle,â at this point that was turning into a pet name more than an insult, so you fired right back.
âChihuahua,â the two of you had the strangest nicknames for one another that was clear by now. âI actually donât mind that you call me that,â you admitted, still under the effect of the serum and smacked your forehead. âFuck!â you cursed.
Astrid looked away, still blushing. âNoted,â she muttered, but you could see the smile on her face.
Finally, you looked away from Astrid and immediately saw horror that would haunt you for the rest of your life. At this point you could make a rather long list of those things. But this one was at the very top, as the people who Rory invited were being sucked into their phones. You were tempted to just leave but you werenât about to leave Astrid here. Even if you were mostly sure she wouldnât be hurt.
And then you must have been transported into a fever dream because Lydia suddenly changed into a red wedding dress, Beetlejuiceâs clothes changed as well, music started playing and there was this huge melting, kind of disgusting looking, cake and you were all forced to dance and then the police zombies showed up.
And then, just as randomly as you were forced to start dancing you just stopped. âIs it finally over?â you asked no one in particular, though Astrid and Delia were the closest to you.
âKnowing this guy? This is just the beginning,â yeah Delia really had a way to console you and make you feel better.
The door slammed open suddenly all of you could see a woman, covered in stitches, standing there menacingly, and you had no idea who she was but something about her made her seem dangerous.
âBeetlejuice!â oh, yeah, he did start mentioning an ex before you interrupted him. That felt like a lifetime ago at this point.
âWhat the fuck?â oh, you were absolutely fucked if Beetlejuice of all people⊠or well, ghosts or demons or whatever he was, said that.
So, you did the most reasonable thing you could and stood in front of Astrid just in case this woman decided to turn her attention toward her. âWhat are you doing?â she hissed at you, but she did grab onto your shoulder.
âI donât know, we are surrounded by supernatural beings and I clearly have a death wish, because Iâd rather get between you and that, than let you get hurt,â oh, you were still under the effect of the truth serum.
âI'm back,â the woman declared.
âWe can se-â you were about to speak, but Astrid quickly put her hand over your mouth.
âMaybe that truth serum wasnât worth it,â she groaned, pressing her forehead against your shoulder.
âYou think?â your voice came out muffled by her hand, but you still said what came to your mind. âLook, if that guy looks afraid, I think we need to be afraid too,â you whispered, and Astrid nodded and as subtly as she could pointed toward the book near the three of you.
âCover me,â Astrid said and you weren't sure how you were going to do it, but seeing as Beetlejuice was trying to talk his way out of whatever trouble he was in you figured he had you all covered.
Astrid came back to your and Deliaâs side with the book in hands and flipped through the pages until she found the part about the Sandworms. âCan you get me something I can draw with?â she asked, and you were never so happy you always had a pen at your disposal.
âHere,â you handed it to her. Astrid nodded, drawing the square on the floor before knocking and then she pushed you and Delia away from the square, and just in time as the sandworm broke through the floor.
âAstrid, you are- I don't even have the words,â you could only watch as Beetlejuice directed the worm toward Rory and the woman and made it eat them. Which was somehow not even the most bizarre thing that happened tonight.
âOK, can we just go now?â you asked and from the looks of it everyone seemed to agree with you as you, and Astrid, Lydia and Delia all began heading for the exit.
âHey, we had a deal!â Beetlejuice reminded Lydia, with the contract she signed held in his hand.
Much to your surprise, Astrid stepped forward. âShe doesnât have to marry you. You violated code 699! Yes, you illegally brought my mom into the afterlife,â she lifted the damn book up. âAccording to this book that contract is null and void,â Astrid explained. Did you ever admit that you actually really liked this girl because you did and she just rescued her mom back.
âTruth serum still works,â Delia snickered next to you.
âFuck!â you cursed, knowing full well you said that and that, given you were merely half a dozen feet away from Astrid, she heard you.
Lydia stepped closed to Beetlejuice. âLook I'm sorry things didn't work out between us, but the six hundred year age gap was a little bit too much for me. Beetle-â he began hissing but she just raised her finger. âBeetlejuice,â he began inflating as Lydia for his name, âBeetlejuice, Beetlejuiceâ Beetlejuice just popped like a balloon. That was it, he was gone. This was probably over now.
Hopefully.
There was still a chance you would jinx yourself right here and now and another bullshit would happen.
Police officers from the world of the dead unfroze and their detective began yapping about forensics and keeping the media away and he even posed so you could all take a selfie, and you were doing your very best to ignore him. That is until he reached over and just grabbed Delia. âSister you're coming with me,â he said.
âHey wait, she belongs here,â you went to stop him, consequences be damned, but before you could reach her Delia just shook her head and you halted, confused by her reaction. She was just fine when you last saw her, but then you saw them, the bite marks.
âWhat? Delia what did you do?â Lydia asked, exasperated.
âI fell for a scam and I'm counting on you to claim a refund,â the snakes, the damn snakes.
âThe snakes were actually poisonous, weren't they?â Astrid voiced what you just realized.
âYeah. So, I died of embarrassment,â yeah, sure you could go with Delia's explanation.
âWhatever makes you rest in peace,â you grinned at her for a bit, but the smile fell as quickly as it appeared. She was dead, and you came to really care about her.
âYour work is gonna go up in value,â and Astrid was joking as well or rather finding the brighter side and the entire situation.
âOh well then,â and at least it made Delia happy.
âOh, Delia, Iâll miss you,â Lydia reached over and touched her stepmother.
âNo you won't! I'll find Charles and we'll haunt you all until you beg us to move on,â Delia promised and you were sure she would keep her words, and then she was taken away leaving only you Astrid and Lydia in the church.
âWell, this was⊠an experience,â you had no idea how things would continue from this point on. Was Rory dead? Were all the people he invited just gone? This was too much of a headache, a fever dream you were hoping to wake up from.
WaitâŠ
Delia was dead!
âFuck! I lost my job!â you cursed only for Astrid to pat you on the back.
~X~
The next morning you woke up still under the effect of what happened the previous night and all the things you learned saw and experienced. In your mind that was supposed to be an unknown and now you knew what happened after death. Now you knew how things were once someone dies and from the looks of it now you could see ghosts just like Lydia and Astrid. And then there was Astrid⊠and all the things you said under the effects of that damn truth serum.
Slowly, with a frown on your face and some pain in your back, you got out of your bed and got ready for the day. You were actually surprised you even slept last night, but maybe you were just that exhausted.
You went down the stairs to find Astrid sitting there. âHey,â she actually greeted you first without snide remark or an insult hurled toward you she even had a small smile on her face. So, the last night really did happen. If the pain in your back wasnât enough of a proof this definitely was.
âHey,â neither of you seemed eager to actually have a conversation after everything that happened. You understood, she damn near died so if you were in her shoes you probably would have tried staying in bed for as long as you possibly could. You'd probably start avoiding every single person fearing they might try to trade their your life for their own, so she was handling this a lot better than you would.
âYou aren't the ghost, are you?â she tried to joke but at this point you understood why she questioned absolutely everything.
âUnless everyone I've been interacting with is also a ghost, no I am alive. Are you?â you fired back the same question, though it was absolutely a joke and she, luckily, chuckled a bit
âYeah, I don't think we need another proof of that, after I nearly lost my life,â she had a point there and you both just grinned at each other. Where were you supposed to take this? All of this?
âDid you sleep at all?â you asked after a bit of actually comfortable silence.
She just shook her head. âI couldn't. I can't stop thinking about everything. There are so many things on my mind I just couldn't fall asleep,â you noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes which you originally guessed where the remnants of her costume but now that you were a bit closer to her you realized it was just from not sleeping last night. âYou?â
âI did, somehow. I think I was just exhausted,â your whole world changed and you couldnât tell if it was for the better or for the worse. But even with all those strange experiences you would absolutely need therapy for it still wasn't as significant or big as the change Astrid just went through. After all while you believed in ghosts and didn't really think about afterlife Astrid actually denied them, believed it was, well you didn't know what she believed in exactly, but you guessed she believed there was just nothing after death.
âI get that,â she agreed and finally looked you in the eyes and you just saw the question at the tip of her tongue. âWhy did you come with my mom? Why did you come to rescue me?â and that was bothering her too. She couldnât explain it.
âI don't know,â that wasn't exactly true, but you really didn't know the entire reason you took such a big risk. Liking Astrid wasnât all there was to it. You took a deep breath and shrugged. âI guess I just couldn't stand by when someone I know got tricked into losing her life. I just didnât want you dead, Astrid,â you admitted.
âThat's the third time you said my name, you know? In all the time you've known me,â she smiled softly, and she was right, it really was the third time you said her name. It felt kind of strange, almost unique on your tongue, because you've never really mentioned her name to other people either. You just either called her by her last name or simply chihuahua so saying Astrid would take some getting used to.
âI guess I did,â you looked at the table. âI was thinking, and you can say no, but would you like to start over? Maybe try to be friends or maybe you know go out for a coffee? I mean I imagine whatever I come up with won't be as bad as your first date so you know, we could make it a friendly date and fix the impression on dating you probably have right now? And now I'm rambling but you get the point!â you were ready for her to decline, to say that, while she can tolerate you now and maybe doesnât want you to die either, she just wasn't interested in building any kind of friendship with you, much less going on a date.
But instead she actually smiled and looked down a little bit shyly. âI'd actually like that. We can go on the date, an actual date, I mean if that's not too fast for you,â she lightly scratched her cheek in embarrassment. âLooks like I kind of have a knack for rushing things,â she laughed and you laughed with her.
Date it was.
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nevertheless (ìêł ìì§ë§) â jeon jungkook (ì ì ê”)
â§.* 18+
attachment was a curious thing. it began subtly, weaving its tendrils through the fabric of your life without notice, like the first soft blush of dawn on a still, sleepy horizon. at first, it seemed innocuous, a delicate thread that merely tugged gently at the edges of your existence, a whisper of a presence that was easily overlooked.
yet, in its essence, attachment was a powerful force, beautiful and treacherous. it painted the world in vivid hues, each moment tinged with a significance that it otherwise wouldn't have possessed. the simplest actionsâa smile, a touch, a shared silenceâbecame imbued with profound meaning. your heart swelled, enraptured by the beauty of connection, and your soul reveled in the comfort of knowing and being known.
as the days passed, those gentle threads of attachment intertwined, forming an intricate tapestry. each shared experience, each memory, added a new thread, strengthening the bond and deepening the sense of unity. it was a masterpiece of human emotion, a testament to the power of connection that filled your heart with warmth and light. the world felt richer, more vibrant, as if seen through a lens that sharpened every detail and amplified every sensation. but attachment, for all its beauty, carried a darker undertone. like a vine creeping up the side of a grand old mansion, it began to strangle, its grip tightening imperceptibly. what was once a source of joy and comfort transformed into a source of anxiety and fear. the delicate balance between freedom and dependence tipped, and your heart, once light and free, grew heavy with the weight of expectation and longing.
In this duality lay the true peril of attachment. It was a slow, insidious poison, sweet in its initial taste but deadly as it coursed through your veins. The same connection that brought life and color could, in an instant, become a noose, choking the very essence of the self. Your mind became consumed with thoughts of the other, every moment apart a silent torment, every slight perceived as a dagger to the heart.
you loved attachment. you loved love. the depth of your emotions was a wellspring of inspiration, each feeling a stroke of color, a line in a sketch, a form in a block of clay. you embraced your emotions, delving into their depths because they breathed life into your art. sculpting and painting were your lifelines, your way of interpreting the world and expressing the inexpressible. you found beauty in every raw edge, every shade of shadow and light, every curve and angle that made up the diverse tapestry of art. art was your sanctuary, a realm where diversity reigned supreme. each piece, whether a painting or a sculpture, told a unique story, resonated with a distinct voice. you loved the freedom it granted, the way it allowed you to channel your deepest feelings into something tangible, something that could be seen and touched. the fluidity of art mirrored the fluidity of your emotions, capturing the fleeting, the ephemeral, and the eternal in one breathtaking sweep.
what you didn't love, was attending your boyfriend's opening art show to show your support, only to find yourself standing in front of what he deemed his masterpiece. the centerpiece of the entire exhibit was a sculpture of you, rendered in painstaking detail, nude, in a scandalous position. the marble gleamed under the gallery lights, every curve and line of your body exposed for the world to see. jackson saw it as a pinnacle of his artistic achievement, a celebration of your form and your intimacy. he looked at it with pride, his eyes shining with the fervor of creation. but to you, it was a betrayal, a public humiliation. every whisper, every gaze, felt like a thousand needles piercing your skin, stripping away your dignity layer by layer. the room seemed to close in on you, the walls pressing inward as the weight of judgment and exposure crushed your spirit.
you couldn't breathe. the air was thick, suffocating, filled with the murmurs of the onlookers and the indifferent hum of the gallery. your chest tightened, panic rising as your eyes darted around for an escape. you felt the sting of tears, hot and unforgiving, blurring your vision. without thinking, you turned and ran, the murmurs growing louder, more accusing, as you fled the gallery. you ran until your legs burned, until your breath came in ragged gasps, until the noise and the lights of the gallery were far behind you. you stumbled onto a set of stairs, collapsing onto them, your strength spent. the world around you faded into a blur, and you buried your face in your hands, the sobs wracking your body.
the cold stone of the steps pressed against your skin, grounding you in the midst of your turmoil. you cried for the trust that had been broken, for the exposure you hadn't asked for, for the art that had turned against you. you had loved attachment, had loved love, had embraced every emotion because it allowed you to create. but in that moment, it felt like those very emotions were tearing you apart, leaving you raw and vulnerable, exposed to the harsh judgment of the world.
your tears flowed freely, each one a testament to the pain and the betrayal you felt. the love you had cherished, the attachment you had valued, seemed like cruel mockeries, twisting the knife deeper into your heart. you had poured your soul into your art, into your relationship, only to have it thrown back at you in the most brutal of ways. and so you cried, the steps becoming your sanctuary, the darkness of the night offering a cold, indifferent comfort as you wept for the love and the attachment that had led you to this moment of utter despair.
jackson trailed behind you, the sound of his footsteps echoing against the cold night air. when he found you on the steps, crumpled and broken, he paused, his silhouette stark against the dim streetlights. for a moment, he simply watched, his eyes narrowing as he took in the sight of you crying, your body wracked with sobs. the indifference in his gaze was chilling, a sharp contrast to the tenderness you had once believed existed between you.
âwhat the fuck are you doing?â he demanded, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. âcausing a scene like that in the middle of my show?â you looked up, your face streaked with tears, your eyes red and swollen from crying. âyou humiliated me,â you choked out, your voice trembling. âyouâve shit all over my reputation.â
his eyes flashed with anger and disdain. âyou have no idea what art is,â he spat. âyouâre clueless. that sculpture was a masterpiece, a celebration of you, and you just made a fool of yourself and me.â his words struck you like physical blows, each one harder than the last. you struggled to find your voice, to make him understand the depth of your hurt. âit wasnât art,â you whispered. âit was a betrayal. you exposed me to everyone, without my consent, without even thinking about how i would feel.â
he scoffed, his lips curling into a sneer. âyouâre overreacting. you always do. that piece was about beauty, about vulnerability. youâre just too blind to see it.â
with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving you alone on the steps, your tears flowing freely once more. the echo of his footsteps faded into the night, leaving a void where his presence had been. you felt as if the ground had opened up beneath you, swallowing you in a chasm of despair and betrayal. you knew what art was. art was your lifeblood, your passion, your way of making sense of the world. you understood its power, its ability to evoke emotions and provoke thought. nevertheless, in that moment, you realized you had forgotten what love was. love wasnât supposed to feel like that. it wasnât supposed to leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable, abandoned and broken.
the steps were cold and unforgiving beneath you, a cruel reminder of the harsh reality you found yourself in. the night pressed in around you, its silence a stark contrast to the turmoil inside your heart. you had loved him, had believed in the connection you shared, but now it felt like a cruel joke, a painful illusion. you sat there, your face buried in your hands, trying to piece together the fragments of your shattered heart. the art you had loved, the emotions you had cherished, all seemed tainted now, twisted by the betrayal you had experienced. you had thought you understood love, had believed in its beauty and its power, but now it felt like a distant memory, something you couldnât quite grasp.
and so you cried, the tears falling silently as you tried to make sense of the pain, the betrayal, the loss. you cried for the love that had turned into a weapon, for the art that had been twisted into something cruel. you cried for the trust that had been broken, and for the heart that had been shattered. in the quiet of the night, you felt the weight of your emotions, their depth and their intensity. you had loved deeply, had felt every emotion with a fervor that fueled your art. but in that moment, on those cold steps, you felt the sharp sting of loveâs betrayal, and the emptiness it left behind.
the night wore on, the stars glittering coldly above, indifferent to your pain. and as you sat there, alone and broken, you realized that while you understood art, you had forgotten what love truly was. it wasnât the grand gestures or the passionate declarations. it was the quiet moments of understanding, the gentle touch of reassurance, the unspoken bond that held two hearts together. you had forgotten that love was supposed to heal, not hurt. it was supposed to uplift, not tear down. and in that moment, you vowed to remember, to never let anyone make you forget again. the tears continued to fall, but beneath them, a resolve began to form, a determination to reclaim the love and the art that were rightfully yours, to find the strength to rise from the ashes of your heartbreak and create anew.
the club was a throbbing pulse of music and light, a sanctuary for those seeking to drown their sorrows or celebrate fleeting moments of joy. you found yourself there, the need to escape the pain and humiliation driving you to its neon embrace. the air was thick with the scent of sweat, alcohol, and anticipation, each beat of the music resonating through your body like a heartbeat. you made your way to the bar, ordering a drink to numb the ache in your chest. the liquid was a fiery solace, burning down your throat and spreading warmth through your veins. one drink turned into another, and another, as you tried to drink the night away, to forget the betrayal, the hurt, the sculpture that had stripped you bare in more ways than one.
but as the air grew tighter and the room spun slightly with the haze of alcohol, you felt the need for a moment of clarity, of fresh air. you stepped outside, the cool night air a contrast to the suffocating atmosphere of the club. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a box of cigarettes, your fingers fumbling as you searched for your lighter. It was gone, lost in the chaos of the night.
âfuck,â you muttered quietly, frustration boiling over. as you looked up, you saw a man standing nearby, a smile playing on his lips as he flicked his lighter open. the small flame danced in the darkness, casting a warm glow on his face. âneed a light?â he asked, his voice smooth and warm, like a balm to your frayed nerves.
you nodded, a grateful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. âyeah, thanks.â he stepped closer, the flame catching the tip of your cigarette. you inhaled deeply, the smoke curling into your lungs and bringing a strange sense of calm. as you exhaled, he cracked a joke, something about fate bringing a cigarette and a lighter together. you laughed, the sound surprising you with its lightness.
he lit his own cigarette, taking a drag as he turned slightly, giving you a glimpse of the tattoo on the back of his neckâa butterfly, delicate and intricate, its wings poised as if ready to take flight. âthatâs a beautiful tattoo,â you said, your eyes tracing the lines of the butterfly. he glanced back at you, a faint smile touching his lips. âthanks. i like butterflies. got a few of them at home.â
âtheyâre beautiful,â you admitted, the honesty in your voice surprising even you. âespecially monarch butterflies. thereâs something about them thatâs just mesmerizing.â he didnât respond immediately, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out a marker. taking your hand gently, he began to draw, the markerâs tip gliding over your skin. when he finished, he held up your wrist, showing you the butterfly he had drawn thereâa monarch, its wings spread wide in a silent declaration of beauty and freedom.
ânow you have a butterfly of your own,â he said, his voice soft but carrying an undercurrent of warmth. âto remind you of their beauty.â
you looked at the butterfly on your wrist, a smile forming on your lips. it was a small gesture, but it held a world of meaning, a moment of connection that pierced through the haze of pain and alcohol. âthank you,â you whispered, your voice barely audible above the cityâs distant hum. he nodded, a silent smile on his face, before turning and walking back into the club, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the butterfly on your wrist. the night seemed a little less dark, the weight of your emotions a little lighter.
as you stood there, the cigarette burning slowly between your fingers, you felt a glimmer of hope, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, beauty could still be found. the butterfly was a symbol, a promise that you could find your way back to the love and the art that had always been your sanctuary. you took another drag of your cigarette, the smoke swirling around you like a protective veil. the clubâs music thumped in the background, a distant reminder of the chaos you had escaped. but in this moment, with the butterfly on your wrist and the memory of a strangerâs kindness, you felt a small but significant shift within you.
the next day, you found solace in the familiar embrace of your studio. the room was filled with the quiet hum of creativity, the soft scraping of tools against clay, the muted whispers of students deep in their work. your hands moved deftly over the surface of your sculpture, the tactile sensation of the material grounding you, offering a brief respite from the emotional turmoil that still lingered from the night before. your fingers traced the curves and lines, each motion a silent meditation, an attempt to channel the chaos inside you into something tangible, something beautiful. the sculpture began to take shape, a reflection of your innermost thoughts and feelings, an expression of the vulnerability and strength that intertwined within you.
as you lost yourself in the rhythm of your work, the studio door creaked open, and your friend poked her head in. jihyo was a vibrant presence, her energy infectious, and her smile always managing to brighten the darkest of days. âhey, you,â she called, waving you over. âlet's step out for a smoke. you look like you need a break.â
you hesitated, your hands still covered in clay, but her insistence was hard to resist. with a sigh, you wiped your hands and followed her out, the studio door closing softly behind you. the fresh air was a welcome change, and the courtyard was quiet, a peaceful oasis amidst the bustling campus. jihyo handed you a cigarette, and you lit it, the familiar act bringing a semblance of calm. she leaned against the wall, her eyes narrowing as she studied you. âalright, spill it. whatâs bugging you?â
you took a drag of your cigarette, the smoke curling around you. âjackson and i broke up,â you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. her eyes widened in surprise. âwhat? when? what happened?â
you recounted the events of the previous night, the betrayal and humiliation still raw in your mind. as you spoke, her expression shifted from shock to anger.
âhe did what?â she exclaimed, her voice rising. âthat sick son of a bitch, how could he think that was okay?â you shrugged, the weight of it all pressing down on you. âhe called it art. i called it betrayal. we saw things differently.â
jihyo shook her head, her anger palpable. âyou deserve so much better than that. he had no right to expose you like that.â as she spoke, you caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of your eye. your heart skipped a beat as you recognized the man from the previous night. he was walking by, his posture relaxed, but his eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. the recognition in his gaze mirrored your own, a silent acknowledgment of the shared moment you had experienced.
he seemed as shocked as you were, but he recovered quickly, a smile tugging at his lips. you couldnât help but smile back, the memory of his kindness a small comfort in the midst of your turmoil. âhey, jihyo,â you said, nudging her gently and nodding in his direction. âdo you know who that is?â
she followed your gaze, her eyes narrowing as she took in the sight of him. âoh, thatâs jeon jungkook. he works in the building department. total slut, though. you should keep your distance.â her words were blunt, her tone dismissive, but you couldnât help but feel a pang of curiosity. jungkook glanced back at you once more before continuing on his way, the smile still lingering on his face. you watched him go, the memory of his smile and the butterfly he had drawn on your wrist vivid in your mind.
you nodded absently, still watching him from a distance. âyeah, sure. iâll keep that in mind.â as the two of you finished your cigarettes and headed back to the studio, you couldnât shake the feeling that he was different from the way jihyo described him. there was a gentleness in his eyes, a quiet kindness that intrigued you. you didnât know what the future held, but for now, the memory of his smile and the butterfly on your wrist gave you a small glimmer of hope, a reminder that beauty and kindness could still be found, even in the most unexpected places.
back in the studio, you lost yourself once more in the clay, the rhythm of your movements a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. each touch, each stroke of your tools, was an act of creation, a way to channel the tumult of emotions into something tangible. the world outside the studio faded away, leaving only the quiet hum of creativity and the comforting solidity of your sculpture.
the creak of the door barely registered in your focused state. it wasnât until you sensed a presence directly in front of you that you looked up, your hands pausing mid-motion. there he was, jeon jungkook, the man from the night before, sitting casually on a stool, his eyes bright with curiosity and amusement. he smiled, a warm, easy smile that seemed to light up the room. âyou work with such intensity,â he remarked, his voice carrying a note of genuine admiration. âitâs really impressive.â
âthanks,â you replied, your mind flashing back to jihyoâs warning about him. you tried to keep your expression neutral, though his unexpected presence had thrown you off balance.
his gaze drifted to your wrist, where the butterfly he had drawn still lingered. âthe butterfly is still there,â he noted with a hint of satisfaction. you looked down at the delicate sketch, a small smile tugging at your lips. âyeah, seems like she likes it there.â
âshe does,â he agreed, a playful glint in his eye. âbut i think sheâd like a drink more. would you wanna grab one with me?â for a moment, you hesitated, jihyoâs words echoing in your mind: âtotal slut, though. you should keep your distance.â but there was something about him, something that intrigued you. his easy confidence, his unexpected kindness from the night beforeâcuriosity got the better of you.
âsure,â you said, nodding. âi'd like that.â his smile widened, and he stood, offering his hand to help you up. his touch was warm, steadying you as you wiped the clay from your hands. the studio felt different now, charged with a new energy, as you left with him, the door closing softly behind you.
as you and him left walked, the conversation continued to flow effortlessly between you. the city lights cast a warm glow on the streets, and the night air was crisp, a perfect backdrop for the unexpected connection forming between you. âso, why have i never seen you around before?â jungkook asked, his hands casually tucked into his pockets as you walked side by side.
you shrugged, a small smile playing on your lips. âiâm usually in the sculpting department. itâs a bit tucked away, not many people venture there unless they have a reason to.â his eyes lit up with interest. âsculpting, huh? thatâs pretty cool. iâve always wanted to try it, but my parents insisted on something more practical. hence, the building department.â
you glanced at him, curiosity piqued. âyou should chase your own freedom,â you said earnestly. âdo what makes you happy.â he chuckled softly, the sound rich and warm. âall i chase is freedom. itâs a problem, really. but itâs why i resonate with butterflies so much. theyâre the ultimate symbol of freedom and transformation.â you walked in comfortable silence for a moment, contemplating his words. jungkookâs outlook on life was refreshing, a stark contrast to the rigid expectations that had been imposed on you by others.
as you approached the bar, the lively atmosphere enveloped you. jungkook led you to a section of the room dedicated to dart throwing. the area was bustling with energy, the sound of laughter and friendly competition filling the air. âever played darts before?â he asked, picking up a dart and spinning it expertly between his fingers. you shook your head, feeling a bit out of your element. âno, iâve never tried it.â
he grinned, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. âwell, itâs time you learned.â he turned to the dartboard, aiming with practiced ease and throwing the dart. It hit the center perfectly, a bullseye. âshow-off,â you teased, impressed by his skill. he laughed, handing you a dart. âcome on, give it a shot. iâll help you.â
you took the dart, feeling a bit unsure. jungkook moved behind you, his presence close and comforting. he placed one arm gently around your waist, guiding your hand with the other. the warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine. âjust relax,â he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. âfocus on the target.â
with his guidance, you raised your arm and threw the dart. it flew straight, hitting the middle of the board. you turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. there was a shared moment of triumph and connection, your heart fluttering at the intensity of his gaze. âsee? youâve got it,â he said softly, a proud smile lighting up his face.
you couldnât help but smile back, the feeling of accomplishment mingling with a growing sense of attraction. for the rest of the evening, you played a few more rounds, each throw bringing you closer, both physically and emotionally. the drinks flowed, the conversation deepened, and laughter punctuated the night. as the night drew to a close, he insisted on walking you home. the streets were quieter now, the city settling into a peaceful rhythm. when you reached your doorstep, he turned to face you, his expression tender.
âi had a great time tonight,â he said, his voice sincere. âthank you for joining me.â
âme too,â you replied, feeling a warmth spread through you. âiâm glad i came.â he stepped closer, his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. he leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. the simple gesture was filled with warmth and affection, sending a rush of emotions through you.
âgood night,â he whispered, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulled away. you watched him walk off into the night, your heart fluttering in your chest. the evening had been unexpected, a whirlwind of emotions and connections that left you feeling both exhilarated and introspective. as you turned to enter your home, you couldnât help but smile, the memory of his kiss still warm on your skin.
the morning sun filtered through the trees as you walked to your campus with jihyo. the campus was beginning to stir with activity, the hustle of students preparing for the day ahead. the air was filled with the familiar sounds of footsteps, chatter, and the distant hum of city life. jihyo made sure to get a headstart, indulging in her morning vape, the sweet aroma curling around you as you walked side by side. she passed the vape to you, and you took a slow drag, savoring the fleeting tranquility before the day's demands took over. you exhaled, the vapor mingling with the crisp morning air.
as you continued your walk, you recounted the events of the previous night, your voice animated as you described jungkookâs unexpected kindness and the enjoyable evening you had shared. she listened intently, though her expression remained skeptical, her brows furrowing in concern. âand then,â you finished, handing the vape back to her, âhe walked me home and gave me a kiss on the forehead. it was really sweet.â
she took a long drag, her eyes narrowing slightly. âit sounds like you had a nice time, butââ she exhaled a cloud of vapor, ââyouâre playing with fire, you know that?â you raised an eyebrow, a hint of defensiveness creeping into your voice. âcome on, ji. youâre being way too judgmental. he's not like that, he's different.â
she gave you a skeptical look, shaking her head. âiâm just saying, be careful. you donât know him that well yet.â
you were about to respond when you both froze mid-step. your gaze followed jihyoâs, and you saw him up ahead on the sidewalk. your heart skipped a beat, but this time, he wasnât alone. he was walking with another girl, his arm draped casually around her shoulders. they seemed at ease with each other, sharing an intimate, comfortable closeness. jihyo glanced at you, her expression a mixture of sympathy and concern. âwell,â she said softly, âi guess i wasnât wrong.â
you stood there, feeling the weight of her words. the sight of jungkook with someone else was a jarring contrast to the warmth you had felt the previous night. it was as if the bubble of the eveningâs enchantment had burst, leaving you to confront a reality that you had momentarily ignored.
the girl beside jungkook looked at him with a smile, and he responded with a tender gaze. it was a simple, yet intimate exchange that spoke volumes. the contrast between last nightâs connection and this morningâs reality was stark, and you felt a pang of disappointment. jihyoâs hand rested gently on your shoulder, her voice comforting. âi'm sorry, i didnât mean to rub it in. i just donât want to see you get hurt.â
you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat. âi know. itâs just, i thought there was something real there. maybe i was wrong.â jihyo sighed, taking another drag from her vape. âyou werenât wrong to feel what you felt, just be cautious. sometimes people arenât as straightforward as they seem.â
you watched as jungkook and the girl walked further down the street, their figures eventually disappearing from view. the sight had left you feeling unsettled, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. the confidence you had felt the night before now seemed fragile, overshadowed by the uncertainty of this new revelation.
as you and jihyo resumed your walk, the campus loomed ahead, its familiar buildings a reminder of the routine and responsibilities awaiting you. the conversation shifted to other topics, but the weight of the morningâs encounter lingered, a reminder that even fleeting connections could carry unexpected complexities. you couldnât help but reflect on his words about freedom and butterflies, wondering how they fit into this new, unsettling reality. the morning had started with promise but had given way to a reality that was less clear-cut, leaving you to navigate the delicate balance between hope and caution.
the studio was a sanctuary of focused energy and creative chaos. you found solace in the rhythm of your hands working the clay, shaping it with deliberate precision. each stroke was a meditative practice, allowing you to channel your thoughts and emotions into the art before you. jihyo, her boyfriend, and his sister had settled nearby. minho was absorbed in his own project, while jihyo and minyoung chatted softly, their voices a comforting background hum. the three of them had a natural camaraderie that brought a sense of ease to the studio. minyoungâs laughter rang out occasionally, a bright and cheerful sound that contrasted with the solemnity of your own concentration.
as you sculpted, your thoughts drifted back to jungkook. the image of him walking with another girl played over in your mind, like a record stuck on repeat. the warmth of last night seemed distant now, replaced by the chill of reality. you tried to push the thoughts aside, focusing instead on the form taking shape in your hands. minyoungâs voice broke through your reverie. âhey, weâre planning to head over to jiâs place tonight for a little get-together. weâre gonna have some drinks and hang out with a few friends from campus. you should come.â
you looked up, momentarily distracted from your work. âthat sounds fun,â you said, though your voice betrayed a hint of reluctance. the idea of socializing was appealing, but the thought of seeing jungkook againâespecially in a group settingâleft you feeling unsettled. jihyo noticed your hesitation and gave you a reassuring smile. âcome on, itâll be good for you. youâve had a rough couple of days. a change of scenery might help you feel better.â
uou nodded, forcing a smile. âyeah, i guess youâre right. iâll come.â minyoungâs eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. âgreat! itâll be nice to hang out and unwind. weâre all looking forward to it.â
as the conversation shifted back to other topics, you tried to immerse yourself in the rhythm of sculpting once more. the tactile sensation of the clay beneath your fingers was grounding, a small comfort amidst the whirlwind of emotions. despite your efforts, your mind kept returning to Jungkook. the casual intimacy you had witnessed, the way he had interacted with the girlâevery detail seemed to replay itself in your thoughts. jihyo and minho were absorbed in their conversation with minyoung, their voices a blend of excitement and lightheartedness. Occasionally, jihyo would glance over at you, her expression a mix of concern and encouragement. her presence was a reminder of the friendship and support you had, even when things felt uncertain.
the minutes ticked by as you worked, the sculpting process a meditative balm for your frayed nerves. each detail you added to your piece was a small victory, a way to reclaim a sense of control amidst the emotional turbulence. when the end of the class approached, you felt a mixture of relief and anticipation. the prospect of the eveningâs gathering offered a potential escape from the weight of your thoughts, a chance to immerse yourself in the company of friends and let the worries of the past few days drift away.
jihyo and minho packed up their things, and you followed suit, feeling a sense of camaraderie as you prepared to leave the studio. minyoung chatted animatedly about the eveningâs plans, her enthusiasm infectious despite the lingering doubts in your mind. as you walked out of the studio and headed toward the campus exit, jihyo fell into step beside you. her presence was comforting, a reminder of the support you had. âremember,â she said softly, âtonightâs about relaxing and having a good time. donât let your worries overshadow it.â
you nodded, taking a deep breath as you stepped into the vibrant energy of the campus. the evening ahead held the promise of distraction and connection, a chance to shift your focus and enjoy the company of friends. as you walked alongside jihyo and minho, you tried to embrace the hope that tonight might bring a welcome reprieve from the storm of emotions you had been navigating. the sun began its descent, casting long shadows across the campus as you made your way to her place. with each step, you hoped for a sense of relief and a chance to momentarily escape the complexities of your thoughts.
the evening's promise of relief and distraction dissolved like smoke as you stepped into jihyoâs house. the warmth and laughter that greeted you were abruptly overshadowed by the sight of jungkook among the group of people already there. the room was buzzing with energy, the clinking of bottles and the murmur of conversation filling the air.
jihyoâs cheerful greeting faltered as her gaze locked onto jungkook. she snapped her neck to minho, a look of surprise and irritation crossing her face. âi didnât know youâd invited jungkook too,â she said, her voice carrying a sharp edge. minho raised his hands defensively, a sheepish grin on his face. âi had no idea there was tension. i thought itâd be a nice surprise.â
you stood there, frozen in the doorway, feeling a chill seep into the warmth of the room. jungkookâs eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a silent acknowledgment of the situation. his smile faltered slightly when he noticed your lack of reciprocation, the tension between you palpable.
jihyo guided you into the room, her demeanor shifting to one of concern. whe led you to a circle on the floor where the others were already settling in. minho produced bottles of soju, his enthusiasm for the evening evident as he set them down and suggested starting a drinking game. the game began with a lively energy. the groupâs laughter and teasing filled the space, but you found it difficult to engage. as the rounds progressed, the questions and challenges became increasingly daring. mina, one of the other girls, challenged jihyo to either take her top off or drink. just as she was about to comply, minho interjected, suggesting she down an entire bottle instead. the room erupted in laughter, a sound that felt distant and hollow to you.
jungkookâs gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes searching for a reaction. you met his gaze briefly, your own expression unyielding. the game continued around you, the atmosphere growing more frenetic and less comfortable.
jihyoâs eyes sparkled with a new idea as she turned to him, her voice carrying a playful tone. âjungkook, your turn. kiss the prettiest girl in the room or take a drink.â the challenge seemed to electrify the room. his eyes flickered to you once more, his expression a mix of resolve and anticipation. he reached for the bottle of soju, his fingers brushing its neck, before setting it down with a decisive motion. without hesitation, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.
the room erupted in cheers, the sound washing over you in a wave of unwanted attention. jungkook pulled away, his smile radiant and expectant, but you remained unmoved. your eyes were cool, indifferent. the kiss, meant to be playful or provocative, felt hollow and forced. the jubilation of the room contrasted sharply with your own feelings. you took a swig from the soju bottle, the liquid burning as it went down. the alcohol did little to numb the sting of the eveningâs events. with a heavy sigh, you excused yourself from the circle and walked toward the door.
as you stepped outside, the cool night air greeted you with a sharp, refreshing clarity. the sky above was dotted with stars, a serene contrast to the chaos you had just left behind. you fumbled with your cigarette box, fingers trembling slightly as you retrieved a cigarette. with a practiced motion, you lit it and inhaled deeply, the smoke curling around you in a calming haze. the solitude of the outdoor space provided a temporary refuge from the din inside. uou leaned against the wall, the cigarette between your fingers a small anchor in the storm of your thoughts. the kiss from jungkook had left you unsettled, and the eveningâs veneer of camaraderie had revealed a deeper undercurrent of discomfort and disconnection.
as you stood there, lost in thought, the distant sounds of laughter and music from the party inside seemed faint and distant. the cool breeze carried away the heat of the moment, leaving you with a sense of clarity and resolve. you had come seeking relief, but instead had confronted a reality that was as complex and unpredictable as ever. the cigarette burned down slowly, the embers glowing softly in the night. you finished it with a deep, contemplative drag, savoring the quiet before re-entering the fray of the evening. with a final exhale, you flicked the spent cigarette away and prepared to face whatever the rest of the night might hold.
the night air had a crisp bite to it, a contrast to the clamor of the party inside. you were about to step back into the house, hoping to reclaim some semblance of normalcy, when a shadow fell across your path. you looked up, only to find jungkook standing there, his presence as sudden as it was unexpected.
he leaned down slightly, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. his smile was disarming, and his voice carried a playful tone as he spoke. âwhyâve you been so cold to me?â he asked, his eyes glinting in the dim light.
you scoffed, the earlier tension bubbling back to the surface. âwhy donât you ask your friend from this morning?â you shot back, unable to keep the edge from your voice.
his laughter was soft and warm, cutting through the chill of the night. âsoel? oh, sheâs just a friend. nothing more,â he said, dismissing your concern with a wave of his hand. his words caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily stunned and silent. the embarrassment of your earlier jealousy washed over you like a tide, coloring your cheeks with a faint blush. he seemed to sense your discomfort and offered a reassuring smile. âdonât worry about it,â he said, his voice gentle. âjealousy looks good on you, by the way.â
your heart skipped a beat at his comment, a flush of heat spreading across your face. the candidness of his words, combined with the intensity of his gaze, made it difficult to maintain your composure. flustered, you looked away, struggling to regain your equilibrium. before you could fully gather yourself, his presence at your side felt oddly comforting. he matched your pace as you turned back toward the house, trailing behind you with a casual, easy stride. the sound of the party inside grew louder as you approached the door, the energy of the gathering spilling out into the hallway.
the nightâs revelry had left you intoxicated and unsteady on your feet. the laughter and music from downstairs seemed to blend into a distant hum as you made your way up to jihyoâs room. the stairwell wobbled slightly under your steps, each ascent feeling like an effort as you navigated the dizzying effects of the eveningâs drinks. when you finally reached her room, you stumbled through the door and collapsed onto her bed. the room was dimly lit, the soft glow of a bedside lamp casting a gentle light across the space. the bed felt like a comforting refuge as you sank into its embrace, your head spinning pleasantly from the alcohol.
as you rested, the door creaked open, and you heard the shuffling of footsteps approaching. your hazy vision slowly made out jungkookâs figure as he stumbled into the room, equally inebriated but with a purposeful gait. he looked around, his eyes finally landing on you with a mix of concern and amusement.
âwhat are you doing here?â you managed to ask, your voice a bit slurred. the question hung in the air, mingling with the scent of alcohol and the faint scent of perfume. his smile was lopsided, his gaze soft as he settled down on the bed beside you. âi came to check on you,â he said, his voice carrying a soothing warmth that contrasted with the cool night air.
your heart fluttered at his words, a sensation that felt both thrilling and disorienting. as he sat next to you, his presence was comforting and reassuring, an anchor amidst the swirl of emotions you were feeling. he looked at you with a gentle smile, his eyes lingering on your flushed cheeks and disheveled appearance.
âyouâre just as pretty drunk as you are sober,â he said, his tone affectionate and teasing. the compliment made you blush deeper, and you instinctively raised your hands to cover your face. âmy makeup must be a mess,â you mumbled, feeling a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. jungkook shook his head with a soft chuckle, his movements deliberate and careful. âmakeup is just art, and you can't mess up art,â he said, his voice tender as he leaned in closer. his face was inches from yours, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours. his fingers gently traced the lines of your face, his touch light as he began to wipe away the smudges of makeup from under your eyes.
the intimacy of the moment seemed to stretch and contract, a space filled with a growing anticipation. jungkookâs gaze held yours, his eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that matched the softness of his touch. the distance between you closed, the world outside the room fading into insignificance.
when his lips finally met yours, the kiss was hot and heavy, a potent mix of desire and need. it was a kiss that spoke volumes, expressing the unspoken feelings and the intoxicated passion that had been simmering beneath the surface. his lips moved against yours with an intensity that made your heart race, the kiss deepening with every passing second.
as the kiss deepened, the rest of the world seemed to dissolve into a blur. the music from downstairs, the laughter, the peopleâit all became a distant echo compared to the closeness of his embrace. the kiss was a shared moment of escape, a brief interlude where nothing else mattered but the connection between you and him. âif we continue,â he murmured, his hot breath grazing your lips. âi won't be able to stop myself.â
his eyes searched yours for consent, and even though you were tipsy, you knew exactly what you were doing. with a nod, you let yourself indulge in it, the anticipation building with every step. the room was dimly lit, with the occasional flicker from the candle casting shadows on the walls. the smell of the candle, something sweet and exotic, filled the air, mixing with the faint scent of his cologne. jungkook closed the door behind you, and in that instant, the outside world was forgotten.
once on the bed, your bodies became a tangled mess of limbs and passion. his hands were everywhere, tracing the lines of your body with a hunger that was almost desperate. you felt his tattoo flutter against your neck as he kissed along your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine. you pulled at his shirt, eager to feel his bare skin against yours. the fabric gave way, revealing his toned abs and the tattoo that was inked into the flesh at the base of his neckâa delicate monarch, its wings unfurling in an intricate dance.
his mouth found yours again, and the kiss grew more urgent. your hands fumbled with the buttons of his pants, and he groaned when you finally slipped your hand inside, wrapping your fingers around his hard length. he reciprocated, tugging at the hem of your dress, eager to explore what lay beneath. as the fabric was pushed aside, his eyes widened at the sight of your lacy underwear. âfuck,â he murmured, his eyes darkening with desire. âso fucking dirty.â
his words were a heady mix of praise and demand, sending a rush of heat to your core. your heart pounded in your chest as he pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in nothing but your bra and panties. the coolness of the room hit your skin, making your nipples pebble with excitement. his eyes roamed over you, and you felt exposed, but in the best way possible. his hands followed the path of his gaze, cupping your tits and gently rolling your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. a soft moan escaped your lips, and he took it as an invitation to lean in and suck one into his mouth. the sensation was electric, and you arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him.
his hands moved down to the waistband of your underwear, and with a quick motion, he slid them down your legs. you felt a moment of vulnerability, but it was quickly overshadowed by the desire coursing through your veins. jungkook kissed along your stomach, making his way down to the apex of your thighs. his tongue flicked out, teasing your clit, and you gripped the bed sheets tightly. âoh, god,â you breathed, your voice a desperate whisper.
his eyes never left yours as he positioned himself over you, his own pants discarded on the floor. he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a condom, ripping it open with his teeth before rolling it on. even in the dim light, you could see the intensity in his gaze, the raw need that mirrored your own. âare you sure?â he asked, his voice gruff with lust.
you nodded, and it was all he yearned for as he entered you. the feeling was overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and pain that had you gasping. he paused, giving you a moment to adjust before he began to move. his thrusts were deep and slow at first, his eyes never leaving yours as he whispered filthy words in your ear, urging you to let go.
you did, moaning his name as you wrapped your legs around his waist. your hands dug into his back, and you could feel the tension in his muscles as he moved. your bodies fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that had been searching for their match. the bed rocked gently under you, the rhythmic sound mixing with your ragged breaths and the slap of skin on skin.
you lost track of time as you both chased the high of climax. his dirty talk grew more intense, and your responses grew louder. it was a dance of dominance and submission, each of you pushing the other closer to the edge. when you finally reached it, your body convulsed around him, and you called out his name like a prayer. jungkook followed shortly after, his dick twitching as if it was his first time.
the morning light filtered through the curtains with a muted glow, casting a soft, hazy light across jihyoâs room. you stirred from sleep, the warmth of the bed a stark contrast to the chill of the previous night. as you slowly regained consciousness, your eyes fell upon the scene beside you. jungkook laid there, his presence so close that you could feel his breath against your skin. the shocking realization hit you as you took in the sight of him naked beside you.
panic surged through you as fragmented memories of the night before flickered in your mind. the kiss, the heat, the intensityâall of it came crashing back. the vividness of those moments left you feeling both disoriented and mortified. with trembling hands, you scrambled to gather your clothes, hastily dressing as you tried to make sense of the chaos.
in a frantic rush, you stumbled out of the room and down the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest. the house was still quiet, save for the soft murmurs of the early morning. wgen you reached the bottom, you were met with jihyoâs intense gaze. her expression was a mixture of concern and exasperation, a look that made you feel like you were about to face her wrath. âi could strangle you right now,â she said, her voice sharp and laced with an underlying tension. the threat in her words was softened only by the lack of her morning smoke, a ritual she hadnât yet indulged in. you stood there, feeling a knot of fear tighten in your stomach. the scolding began, a tirade of reprimands that blended into a blur of guilt and embarrassment.
the weight of your actions pressed heavily upon you, and though you tried to focus on her words, your mind was elsewhere. the guilt of the night before, the uncertainty of what you had done, and the unanticipated consequences all swirled together in a disorienting mix. during class, her scolding continued, her frustration evident. you sat there, trying to stay composed as the minutes ticked by. the lecture on art and technique seemed distant, a backdrop to the internal turmoil you were experiencing. it was only when a familiar face appeared that you were jolted from your reverie.
the girl who had been with jungkook the previous morning walked in and took a seat with you and jihyo. she greeted you with a polite smile, and as she settled in, she mentioned needing help with her sculpture. you gave her your notes, watching her as she began to work with the clay, your mind still reeling from the events of the night. as she sculpted, your gaze inadvertently fell to her wrist. there, clearly visible, was a drawing of a monarch butterfly.
the sight of it sent a jolt through you, your stomach twisting in a sickening churn. the connection hit you like a physical blow, and the room seemed to spin around you. you were frozen, unable to tear your eyes away from the drawing that mirrored the one jungkook had drawn on you. unable to stay any longer, you excused yourself, the rush of emotions and physical discomfort becoming too overwhelming to ignore. you hurried to the bathroom, the need to escape the situation pressing heavily on you. once inside, you leaned over the sink and, overwhelmed by a combination of betrayal, hangover, and emotional turmoil, you began to vomit. each heave felt like it was ripping something deeper inside of you, the physical pain amplifying the emotional distress.
as you clung to the sink, the cool porcelain against your forehead offering a small comfort, you were consumed by a storm of conflicting feelings. the events of the night had left their mark, and now, the stark reality of the situation was unfolding with cruel clarity. as you stepped out of the bathroom, the heaviness in your chest felt almost tangible. the earlier discomfort was still fresh, and you were hoping for a moment of peace. instead, the moment you emerged, you heard a voice calling for you. you turned, only to see jungkook walking towards you with a grin that seemed far too bright given the situation.
ârunning out without a goodbye kiss? thatâs pure evil,â he said, his tone light and teasing. but as you met his gaze, you saw no trace of irony or humorâjust a genuine, unfaltering smile that made your stomach churn once again.
you forced yourself to look him in the eyes, trying to steady your emotions. âi just talked to soel,â you said, your voice trembling slightly. âshe has a butterfly tattoo on her wrist. the same one you drew on me.â
jungkookâs smile didnât falter. Instead, he seemed unfazed by your revelation. âoh, that? i draw that on all my friends,â he said nonchalantly. âwhy does it bug you?â
the casualness of his response left you reeling. you stared at him, feeling a cold wave of betrayal wash over you. âis that what i am to you? just a friend?â his reaction was almost mechanical. âyeah,â he said, shrugging slightly. âis that an issue for you?â
the simple, matter-of-fact way he spoke was like a punch to the gut. you were stunned, the weight of his words crashing down on you like a tidal wave. the realization that you had misinterpreted his intentions, that your emotions had been tangled in a misunderstanding, left you feeling hollow. without another word, you turned away, your heart racing and your mind clouded with a storm of betrayal and shock. you walked briskly, your steps echoing with a sense of finality as you left jungkook behind. the turmoil inside you was a jumbled mess, each step away from him only amplifying the confusion and hurt.
the campus was bustling with the usual midday energy as you joined jihyo, minho, and minyoung for lunch. you sat down at the table with them, the usual chatter and laughter around you feeling like a distant echo. as they talked animatedly about their day, you remained silent, the weight of the morningâs events heavy on your shoulders.
minho finally broke through the silence, noticing the way you said nothing. âwhatâs wrong?â he asked, his tone gentle but concerned. the question was like a dam breaking. you tried to hold back the tears, but the effort proved futile. they spilled over, each drop a mix of frustration, sadness, and disappointment. the raw emotion that had been building up inside you was finally released, and you found yourself unable to stop the flood.
through your tears, you recounted the events of the night beforeâthe drunken mistake, the disheartening conversation with jungkook, and the sting of betrayal. your voice trembled with each word, the hurt and confusion palpable as you shared your story.
as you spoke, you could see the shock and horror on their faces. minhoâs eyes widened with disbelief, and minyoungâs expression turned to one of sympathy. but it was jihyoâs reaction that truly struck you. her face darkened with anger, and her eyes blazed with a fierce resolve. âmight actually fucking kill him,â she said with a steely determination, her words delivered in a low, dangerous tone. the promise was almost soothing in its intensity, a sign of her fierce loyalty and anger on your behalf.
you shook your head, feeling a fresh wave of guilt wash over you. âno, donât,â you managed to say between sobs. âitâs my fault. i was too trusting. i should have seen it coming.â
her expression softened as she reached out to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. âdonât blame yourself,â she said firmly. âyou didnât do anything wrong. heâs the one who failed you. focus on yourself and your work. you deserve better than this.â but despite her reassurances, you found it difficult to shift your focus. jungkookâs smile, the way he had looked at you, the crushing realization of his indifferenceâall of it was still vividly etched in your mind. the pain of the betrayal felt like a persistent ache, a constant reminder of your misplaced trust and the emotional turmoil it had caused.
as lunch continued, you struggled to engage in the conversation. your mind kept drifting back to him, replaying the moments and words that had shattered your sense of stability. the comfort of jihyoâs words was overshadowed by the persistent sting of your own emotions. the rest of the afternoon passed in a blur, the echoes of your thoughts louder than any external noise. the distraction of the campus environment did little to ease your turmoil, and the weight of your feelings continued to anchor you in a state of unresolved pain.
in the solitude of the studio, the air was heavy with the smell of clay and the faint traces of your exhaustion. the sculpture in front of you was nearly complete, a painstakingly crafted representation of a womanâs headâher expression a haunting blend of serenity and despair. the piece symbolized a submission to love that consumed and overwhelmed. her eyes were hollowed out, the sockets deep and dark, conveying an intense and tragic devotion. the gouged-out eyes were not merely a detail; they were the very essence of her surrender, the ultimate sacrifice for the one she loved.
your hands trembled slightly as you made the final adjustments, the weight of your own emotions interwoven with the piece. you took a step back to admire your work, your heart heavy with the sense of completion mingled with the burden of what it represented. the sculpture was a mirror to your own turbulent feelings, capturing the essence of devotion and its potential for destruction.
the quiet of the studio was suddenly disrupted by a voice behind you. âwhere are her eyes?â jungkook asked, his tone inquisitive yet casual. you stiffened, momentarily frozen by the intrusion. your gaze remained fixed on the sculpture, trying to compose yourself. âshe gouged her eyes out,â you said softly, your voice carrying the weight of the sculptureâs meaning. âsimply because her lover wanted her to. she would do anything for him.â
jungkookâs footsteps approached, and you felt him come closer, his presence a palpable force in the room. he stood behind you, his gaze fixed on the sculpture as he admired your work. âitâs a beautiful piece,â he said, his voice sincere but carrying an undercurrent of something else.
you kept your back to him, your attention focused on the sculpture, trying to ignore the effect his presence had on you. but then, you felt him press closer, his body nearly touching your back. he leaned in, his breath warm and tickling your ear as he gently pushed aside your hair. âare you mad at me?â he asked, his voice a low whisper. you struggled to maintain your composure, the tension between you palpable. âi have no reason to be,â you replied, though your voice betrayed a hint of uncertainty.
you felt him smirk against your skin, the touch of his lips sending shivers down your spine. his kisses, light and teasing, trailed down your neck, each touch intensifying your internal conflict. âwe shouldnât be doing this,â you murmured, your voice wavering. his breath was hot against your ear as he replied, âthatâs what makes it so fun.â
your resistance wavered as he continued to kiss your neck, the pleasure mingling with your sense of guilt and confusion. You knew it was wrong, yet the allure of the moment was powerful. finally, you turned around to face him, the decision made despite your inner turmoil. you allowed him to kiss you, the contact both electrifying and disorienting.
the kiss was intense, a clash of emotions and desires that left you breathless. jungkookâs touch was both familiar and foreign, a reminder of the complications that had arisen between you. as you surrendered to the kiss, the studioâs quiet solitude seemed to collapse around you, leaving only the swirling mixture of passion and regret. in the midst of the embrace, the sculpture remained a silent witness, its hollow eyes a stark reminder of the emotional sacrifice and the consuming nature of love. the art piece and the reality of your feelings intertwined, creating a poignant reflection of the complicated interplay between desire and devotion.
his hands found their way to your waist, his grip firm as he pulled you closer to him. you felt his arousal pressing against you, and despite your inner reservations, your body responded instinctively. the attraction was undeniable, a magnetic force that seemed to have a will of its own. his kiss grew deeper, more demanding, as his hands began to explore your body. your own hands roamed over his chest, feeling the muscles tighten beneath your touch. the fabric of your clothes felt like a barrier to the connection you both craved, and without a word, jungkook began to remove them. the anticipation grew as each layer fell away, revealing your skin to the cool studio air.
you found yourself bent over the sculpting table, jungkookâs hands tracing your spine, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. he whispered dirty words into your ear, his voice thick with desire, and you felt your knees wobble. the reality of the situation washed over youâthe illicitness of it, the raw need you felt for each otherâand you realized that this was what you had been craving, despite the guilt.
his fingers dipped lower, finding the wetness between your legs, and you gasped into his mouth. jungkookâs touch grew more insistent, and the sculpture beneath your palms seemed to pulse with the rhythm of your heart. you were no longer the artistâyou were the art, being shaped and molded by his desires.
his hand slid away, and you heard the sound of his belt buckle. your heart raced as he positioned himself behind you, the tip of his erection teasing your entrance. âare you sure?â you managed to ask, the tremor in your voice betraying your nerves. âdo you want me?â he replied, his voice a challenge. your body answered for you, arching back, begging for him to fill you. and with one powerful thrust, he did.
the sensation was overwhelmingâhis bare skin against yours, the heat of his body surrounding you. his grip tightened on your hips as he began to move, the rhythm punctuated by your moans and the slap of skin against skin. the intensity grew with each stroke, the pleasure a wildfire that consumed every rational thought. you could feel his breath on your neck, his voice a gruff whisper of praise and desire. your eyes closed, and the sculpture, the studio, the world outsideâit all faded away, leaving only the two of you and the primal dance of your bodies.
his thrusts grew harder, deeper, as he claimed you from behind. the sculpture was forgotten, a symbol of a love that was now a tangible reality in the form of this explosive union. you reached back, your hand finding the base of his cock, and you felt his body tense with pleasure. the air was thick with passion, the scent of sex and clay a heady mix that intoxicated you both. jungkookâs movements grew erratic, and you knew he was close. with one final, powerful push, he reached his climax, his warmth filling you as he groaned your name.
you collapsed onto the table, spent and trembling, as jungkook leaned over you, his breath ragged. for a moment, there was only silence, the two of you trying to find your bearings in the aftermath of the storm.
but the quiet was broken by the sudden sound of the studio door opening, and you both froze. your eyes widened with panic, and jungkookâs grip on you tightened. âwe canât get caught,â you whispered, your heart racing with fear and excitement. he smirked, his eyes dark with mischief. âwe wonât,â he assured you, his voice low and seductive. ânot until weâre finished, anyway.â the tension grew as the footsteps grew louder, and jungkook began to move again, slower this time, his strokes long and deliberate. the game of hiding in plain sight was thrilling, a dangerous edge to the passion that had overtaken you both.
the newcomer to the studio called out a greeting, and his hand covered your mouth, muffling any sound you might make. you bit down on your lip, stifling a moan, as he continued to fuck you with an urgent need that seemed to defy the danger of being discovered. your heart hammered in your chest, the thrill of the forbidden mixing with the fear of being caught.
his movements grew more deliberate, his hips grinding into yours with a silent rhythm that matched the beat of your racing pulse. you could feel the eyes of the sculpture on you, the hollow sockets seeming to judge you even as you writhed in pleasure beneath his touch. the footsteps grew closer, and his grip tightened. he leaned in, his teeth grazing your ear as he whispered, âbe quiet, baby. come for me.â the words sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you did as he asked, your orgasm building like a crescendo.
just as the person entered the room, you reached the peak, your body convulsing around jungkookâs cock. he groaned softly, the sound vibrating against your neck, and you clamped down on his hand to keep from crying out. the wave of pleasure washed over you, leaving you trembling and exposed. his strokes grew shallower, his cock still hard and pulsing inside you. the footsteps stopped just outside the partition that separated the main studio from your makeshift private corner. the tension was unbearable, a tight coil of excitement and fear that made every nerve ending in your body feel alive.
his eyes locked with yours, and you saw the challenge in them. you knew he was enjoying this as much as he enjoyed the sex itselfâthe risk, the danger, the thrill of the secret. your breathing was ragged, your body still quaking from the orgasm that had torn through you, and yet you remained silent, waiting. the person in the room spoke, their voice muffled by the wall of clay that separated you. jungkookâs thrusts grew more gentle now, almost tender, as he slowly pulled out of you. you felt the warmth of his seed inside you, a stark reminder of what had just happened.
you both waited, your breaths syncing as the footsteps grew fainter, moving away from your hiding spot. once the room was empty again, jungkook leaned down to kiss you, his lips brushing yours with a softness that seemed at odds with the ferocity of your encounter. âsee?â he murmured, his voice a low purr. âno one will ever know our little secret.â
you pushed him away gently, sitting up and adjusting your clothes. your mind was racing, a whirlwind of emotionsâshame, exhilaration, fear of being found out. but there was also something else, a dark satisfaction that seemed to hum in the air.
the sculpture loomed before you, the womanâs expression now a reflection of your own complex feelings. jungkook pulled on his shirt, his eyes never leaving yours. âwe canât do this again,â you said, the finality in your voice unmistakable. but as he zipped up his pants, the smug smile on his face told you that he didnât believe you. and deep down, neither did you. the line had been crossed, and the taste of the forbidden was too sweet to ignore.
his eyes held a promise of more to come, and despite yourself, you felt your body respond. the next chapter of this illicit story was already being written, the plot thickening with every shared glance and stolen touch. and you knew that no matter how much you tried to resist, you would be drawn back into the tumultuous dance of desire and deceit that was your relationship with him.
as jungkook stepped out of the studio, his silhouette fading into the dim light of the hallway, you were left alone with the echo of his departure. you hastily pulled your clothes back on, your hands trembling uncontrollably. each movement was a struggle against the storm of emotions raging inside you.
the studio, once a sanctuary of creation, now felt like a cage closing in around you. the quiet was oppressive, amplifying the shattering of your composure. you fought to hold back the tears, but the effort proved futile. they began to fall, each drop a release of the turmoil you had been trying to suppress. you sank to the floor, your body trembling with the force of your sobs. the statue stood before you, its eyeless gaze a haunting reflection of your own despair. the sculpture, a representation of sacrifice and devotion, seemed to mock you now. its hollow eyes, gouged out as a symbol of surrender, mirrored the emptiness and heartbreak you felt inside.
unable to bear the sight, you were overcome by a furious, anguished energy. the intensity of your emotions erupted uncontrollably. you launched yourself at the statue, your hands and feet flailing as you knocked it over. the crash of clay against the floor was loud, a jarring sound that matched the violence of your grief. you kicked at the broken pieces, the fragments scattering across the studio floor. the destruction was cathartic yet devastating, a physical manifestation of the chaos within you. as the statue lay shattered, the pieces symbolized the fragmented state of your heart. each kick was a release, each broken shard a representation of your pain.
exhausted and overwhelmed, you slid down against the wall, the tears still flowing freely. the destruction of the sculpture had not lessened the weight of your sorrow. instead, it left you staring at the remnants, the once-beautiful work now reduced to a broken mess. you continued to cry, your body wracked with sobs as you gazed at the ruined statue. the eyeless gaze of the sculpture, now in fragments, seemed to reach out to you in a final, tragic understanding. the intense emotion of the piece was mirrored in your own shattered state. the studio, with its scattered pieces and your anguished cries, was a poignant testament to the overwhelming pain and anger you felt.
the contrast between the beauty of the sculpture and the violence of its destruction spoke to the raw intensity of your emotions. the studio, once a space of artistic expression, had become a stage for your most profound heartache. as you wept, the remnants of the statue lay around you, a somber reminder of the intricate connection between art, love, and the devastating effects of betrayal. in the end, as your sobs quieted and you sat amidst the broken pieces, the sight of the ruined sculpture served as a haunting reflection of your own emotional wreckage. the tears continued to fall, mingling with the clay fragments, a final, tragic testament to the depth of your despair.
as you gathered your belongings, the weight of the nightâs events clung heavily to your shoulders. the studio, once a place of solace and creativity, now felt like a space of ruin and disillusionment. your hands moved mechanically, shoving your scattered materials into your bag. each motion was devoid of purpose, driven by a numbing emptiness rather than intent.
the soft sounds of your packing were abruptly interrupted by distant noisesâlow grunts and muffled groansâemanating from the studio down the hall. the sounds were raw and unsettling, a contrast to the quiet destruction you had left behind. your curiosity and dread compelled you to investigate, despite the turmoil within you.
you approached the door to the neighboring studio, its glass panel offering a distorted view into the dimly lit room. peering through, your heart sank as you recognized the scene unfolding inside. jungkook was there, engaged with a girl you couldnât identify. the sight of them, entwined in an intimate and brutal display, was a dagger to your already fragile heart.
the cold reality of the moment was a sharp contrast to the warmth you had briefly experienced with him. you were paralyzed, unable to tear your gaze away from the scene before you. each grunt and moan was a reminder of your own vulnerability and the painful contrast between the connection you had felt and the stark betrayal unfolding before you. the sight of him with another, the passion and disregard apparent in their movements, left you feeling hollow. you had no tears left to shed; the emotional reservoir had been drained dry by the night's turmoil. the image of their bodies, entwined and fervent, was seared into your mindâa brutal symbol of your own sense of abandonment and betrayal.
turning away from the glass, you felt an eerie emptiness consume you. the world seemed to blur as you walked down the hallway, your steps heavy and unsteady. your mind was a void, a blank slate where thoughts and emotions once swirled with intensity. the encounter had left you drained, each step echoing with the weight of your disillusionment.
the cold air of the hallway seemed to press against you, a stark reminder of the isolation you felt. as you made your way home, the world around you was a distant haze. the vibrant life of the campus and the remnants of your artâthe shattered statue, the chaotic emotionsâfaded into the background, leaving only the crushing emptiness of your thoughts. each step felt like a journey through fog, the clarity of the nightâs events slipping away with each movement. the betrayal, the emotional wreckage, and the raw intensity of the moments you had witnessed had left you numb. you walked forward, but within, you remained frozenâtrapped in the silence of your own heartache.
the sun rose reluctantly on the campus the next day, its light casting a dull glow through the classroom windows. you stumbled into your class, exhausted and hollow-eyed from a night spent in sleepless turmoil. the world outside felt distant, its vibrancy lost to you as you trudged through the motions of daily life. your movements were mechanical as you took your place among the scattered students. the studio, once a sanctuary of creativity, now felt foreign and unwelcoming. the empty canvas in front of you was a glaring testament to your lack of inspiration. the urge to sculpt, to create, was absent, replaced by a void of emotional fatigue and despair.
jihyo tried her best to offer comfort. her words were gentle, her presence a constant reassurance in the face of your turmoil. despite her efforts, the pain within you remained insurmountable. her attempts to console you seemed to fall short of reaching the deep chasm of your heartache. the betrayal and the haunting images from the previous night left you adrift, unable to focus or find solace.
the professorâs voice broke through the haze of your thoughts, announcing a new student would be joining the class. you barely registered his words, your mind elsewhere, wandering through the fog of your sleepless night. it wasnât until you heard the shuffle of footsteps and the murmur of surprise among your peers that you looked up.
your heart skipped a beat as you locked eyes with the new student. it was jackson. the same jackson who had once been a part of your world, now standing before you with a familiar, if unwelcome, presence. the shock of seeing him in this context, amid your already tumultuous emotions, was almost too much to bear. he met your gaze with an expression that was a mixture of apprehension and resolve. the smile he once wore with ease now seemed strained, an acknowledgment of the shared past that had ended in such distressing terms. the air in the room felt charged, the atmosphere thick with an unspoken tension. his arrival was a jarring reminder of old wounds, reopened with his unexpected reappearance.
you forced yourself to focus, trying to ignore the way your heart raced and the way your mind spun with fragmented memories of him. the professor introduced jackson, guiding him to a seat, and the roomâs atmosphere shifted. the familiar face was a painful reminder of a time when things had been different, when trust and affection had colored your world.
jihyo, noticing the way your gaze lingered on him, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. you offered her a weak smile, her concern evident in her eyes. yet, despite her support, the emotional storm inside you remained uncalm. you felt as though you were caught in the eye of a hurricane, where the calm was an illusion masking the chaos within.
as jackson settled into his new spot, you couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety. the familiarity of his presence, combined with the unresolved issues from your past, created a sense of disquiet. you tried to refocus on your work, but the blank canvas before you was a stark reminder of the numbness that had consumed your creativity. the rest of the class droned on, his presence a silent but heavy weight in the room. every glance in his direction felt like a step back into a storm you had barely escaped. your hands remained idle, the sculpting tools untouched as you struggled to regain some semblance of normalcy.
the day dragged on, each minute a reminder of the fractured pieces of your recent past. as the bell finally rang, signaling the end of the class, you gathered your things with a sense of resignation. the encounter with him had been a jarring disruption, but it was also a harsh reminder that the echoes of past relationships often resurface when least expected. you walked out of the classroom, your mind still clouded with the weight of your emotions. the campus, with its usual bustle of activity, felt distant and surreal. the familiar paths and faces seemed altered, as though you were navigating through a dream that had turned unsettlingly real.
the day seemed to drag endlessly as you walked out of the classroom, feeling the heavy weight of jacksonâs unexpected reappearance. the campus, once a place of refuge and creativity, now felt like a labyrinth of memories and unresolved emotions. you walked with a purpose, desperate to escape the lingering sense of disquiet that his presence had stirred within you.
as you moved through the crowded hallways, lost in your thoughts, a voice called out to you, breaking through the fog of your mind. you turned slowly, your heart skipping a beat as you saw hin standing a few steps away. his expression was earnest, eyes filled with a mix of regret and hope. for a moment, you felt paralyzed, caught between the urge to flee and the reluctant desire to hear him out.
jackson took a hesitant step towards you, his hand reaching out to gently grasp your wrist. the touch was light, almost pleading, and you could feel the warmth of his skin through your thin sleeve. his eyes were filled with an apologetic softness that seemed to convey a depth of remorse you hadnât anticipated. âwhat are you doing here?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. you struggled to keep your emotions in check, the memory of the sculpture and the pain it had caused still fresh in your mind.
his gaze dropped to the floor for a moment before he looked up again, his eyes meeting yours with a sincere gravity. âi wanted to focus solely on my work,â he said, his voice laced with an honesty that was both surprising and unsettling. âitâs been difficult since you left. i lost my muse.â
the words struck you with a sharp edge, stirring a storm of conflicting emotions within you. the image of the sculpture, the public humiliation, and the way he had dismissed your feelingsâall of it came rushing back. you remembered the pain and betrayal that had clouded your heart.
âyou donât get to just come back and pretend like everythingâs fine,â you said, your voice trembling. âyou canât erase what you did.â
his face fell, and he took a deep breath before speaking. âi know,â he said quietly. âand Iâm sorry. i had the sculpture removed. i understand that nothing will ever be the same. i just wanted to let you know that, if nothing else, iâd like to be your friend.â
his words were both unexpected and profound, offering a semblance of closure that you hadnât anticipated. the notion of friendship, after everything that had transpired, felt both distant and comforting. you stood there, absorbing the gravity of his apology and the genuine regret that seemed to hang in the air between you. for a moment, the chaos inside you quieted, replaced by a fragile sense of peace. his offer of friendship was an olive branch, a gesture that acknowledged the hurt while striving for something different. yet, the wound was still fresh, and the idea of moving past it was daunting.
âi need time,â you said finally, your voice steady but tinged with a quiet resolve. âi canât just pick up where we left off.â he nodded, his expression a blend of understanding and sadness. âi know,â he replied softly. âtake all the time you need. i just wanted you to know iâm here if you ever want to talk.â with a final, lingering look, he turned and began to walk away. each step seemed to echo with the weight of the past and the uncertain promise of the future. you watched him go, your mind awash with a storm of emotionsâanger, relief, and a bittersweet sense of closure. as you stood there alone in the corridor, the bustling noise of the campus seemed distant, as if you were enveloped in a cocoon of introspection. the conversation with jackson had stirred up old wounds, but had also offered a glimmer of resolution.
lunch on campus was always a comforting routine. the sun was high, casting dappled shadows through the leafy canopy above. you, jihyo, and minho had claimed your usual spot at a worn wooden table, the comforting hum of student chatter surrounding you. jihyo animatedly recounted her latest project, while minho nodded, occasionally chiming in with his dry wit. you were halfway through a bite of your sandwich when you saw himâjackson. he passed by with his characteristic easy grace, a slight smile playing on his lips as his eyes met yours. respectfully, he sat on a separate bench a few feet away, not wanting to intrude.
jihyo's eyes narrowed, her conversation with minho faltering as she followed your gaze. âwhy is he here?â she muttered, her voice barely audible but dripping with disdain. you stood up, your decision made in an instant. as you approached him, his smile faded slightly, replaced with a look of concern.
âis everything okay?â he asked, his voice soft, yet tinged with uncertainty. âcome sit with us,â you replied, your tone gentle yet firm.
âare you sure?â his hesitation was palpable.
you nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. with a grateful nod, he followed you back to the table. minho raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, but it was jihyo's reaction that was most striking. her eyes widened, and she sat back, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.
âjackson, this is minho,â you introduced, and he gave a polite nod. âand this is jihyo.â jackson extended his hand to her, but she simply stared him down, her gaze icy. âshe may have forgotten what you did, but i sure havenât,â she said, her voice like steel.
he withdrew his hand slowly, nodding in acknowledgment. âi understand,â he replied softly. you placed a comforting hand on jihyoâs arm. âhe came for a fresh start,â you explained, your voice calm and steady. âhe even got the sculpture taken down.â jihyoâs skeptical glance lingered on him, but she didnât press further. the tension in the air was almost tangible, but his presence gradually began to feel less intrusive.
he smiled at you, a look of genuine gratitude and perhaps a hint of hope in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling a sense of warmth and relief. the past might not be easily forgotten, but in that moment, it felt like a step towards something better, something new. as the conversation slowly resumed, you couldnât help but feel that this lunch, under the sunlit canopy, marked the beginning of a significant changeâa moment of reconciliation and new beginnings.
unbeknownst to you, a familiar figure stood in the background, having noticed your whole ordeal. jungkook, leaning casually against a nearby tree, had been chatting with his friends, their laughter mingling with the warm air. but his attention had been subtly drawn to you the moment jackson appeared. his dark eyes followed every movement, every gesture you made. the way you approached jackson with a calm demeanor, the soft reassurance in your voice, and the unyielding kindness in your eyesâit all piqued his curiosity. his friends were engrossed in a lively debate about the upcoming exhibition, but he found himself only half-listening, his mind occupied with the scene unfolding at your table.
he watched as you led jackson back, noticed the tension between him and jihyo, and observed the way you mediated with such grace. jungkook brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, trying to focus back on his friends' conversation. yet, the feeling tugging at his heartstrings was undeniable, a peculiar mix of curiosity and something he couldnât quite identify.
the laughter of his friends brought him back to the present moment, and he forced a smile, joining in their conversation. but his eyes betrayed him, darting back to you occasionally. he noted the genuine smile you exchanged with jackson, a smile that seemed to light up your entire being. he couldnât put his finger on it. was it admiration? perhaps a touch of jealousy? he shook his head, trying to dismiss the thoughts. after all, he had no reason to feel this way. you were just another girl, albeit a talented one, whose work he respected. yet, there was something in the way you handled the situation that stirred something deep within him.
back in the studio, the familiar scent of clay and the quiet hum of creativity enveloped you. the light filtering through the tall windows cast an ethereal glow on your workspace, illuminating the clay sculpture taking shape beneath your deft fingers. you shuddered, recalling the tumultuous scene you had caused, the emotional outburst that had led you to destroy your previous work of art.
determined to push back any thoughts of jungkook, you focused entirely on the clay before you. each movement was elegant, deliberate, as your hands moved with a grace born from years of practice. your mind, however, raced with a whirlwind of emotionsâfreedom, butterflies, liberty, independence. the sculpture was coming to life beneath your touch: an extended hand, its fingers gently curved, and a string of butterflies, delicate and intricate, laid one on top of the other. they seemed to be chasing the freedom they so desperately desired. yet, as you worked, their wings began to wither, the fragile clay starting to crumble under your touch. they had flown for so long, yearning for independence, before finally finding solace in the palm of a hand. it was a poignant realizationâthat the only thing they needed more than freedom was the touch of love.
you were so absorbed in your work that you barely noticed when jackson entered the studio. he said nothing, simply standing and watching you. his presence was quiet, respectful, and he observed as you caressed the butterflies, shaping each one with meticulous care. âitâs a beautiful piece,â he finally said, his voice soft, breaking the silence.
startled, you looked up, your eyes meeting his. you hadnât realized he was there, so engrossed in your work. âjackson,â you breathed, your hands stilling. âi didnât see you come in.â
he offered a gentle smile, stepping closer to the sculpture. âi didnât want to disturb you. you looked so focused.â you glanced back at the sculpture, the extended hand and the fragile butterflies. âtheyâre chasing freedom,â you explained, your voice thoughtful. âbut their wings are falling apart. theyâve been flying for so long, seeking independence, but they realize that what they need more than freedom is love.â
jackson studied the piece for a moment, nodding slowly. âyou have a way of seeing the world, of expressing it through your art. i was wrong. you know art better than anyone.â his words were sincere, and they touched you deeply. you smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair from your face, a tender gesture, it struck youâyou knew art, its nuances, its depth. nevertheless, you didn't know love. that was a realm you had yet to truly understand.
the studio felt different now, not just a place of creation, but a space where emotions, complex and raw, intertwined with every sculpted form. and in that moment, with jackson's reassuring presence and the delicate clay butterflies, you realized there was more to learn, more to feel, beyond the confines of your art.
his eyes, warm and curious, met yours. âwhat has you so fascinated with butterflies?â he asked, his voice soft yet probing. you paused, your mind inevitably drifting back to jungkook. the memory of the monarch tattoo on the back of his neck was vivid, a symbol of his own desperate need to chase freedom. the thought made your blood run cold, a shiver running down your spine. you forced a smile, trying to push the unsettling thoughts away. âi admire them,â you said, your voice steady but distant. âthey chase their own freedom, rather than love.â
his gaze softened, understanding flickering in his eyes. âeveryone deserves love more than anything,â he replied gently. you said nothing, the words lingering in the air between you. the silence was filled with unspoken emotions, a depth of feeling that you couldnât quite articulate. âespecially you,â he added, his voice barely above a whisper.
the moment felt fragile, delicate like the butterflies you sculpted. before you could respond, the door to the studio swung open, and jihyo walked in, her presence breaking the intimate silence.
âhey, you two,â she called out, her tone light and cheerful. âthe group's going out for drinks. youâre both welcome to join.â you hesitated, the weight of the dayâs emotions still heavy on your shoulders. the idea of socializing felt overwhelming, but before you could decline, jackson spoke up.
âyou deserve a break,â he said, his eyes meeting yours with a reassuring smile. âcome on, itâll be fun.â with a sigh, you nodded, feeling a mix of reluctance and gratitude. his encouragement gave you the push you needed. the prospect of stepping out of the studio, even for a short while, seemed like a small reprieve.
as you gathered your things, the studioâs comforting hum faded into the background. you cast one last look at your sculpture, the extended hand and the fragile butterflies, and felt a renewed sense of purpose. perhaps, amidst the chaos and the quest for freedom, there was room for love too. walking out with jackson and jihyo, you couldnât shake the feeling that something was shifting, a subtle change in the air. the evening stretched ahead of you, filled with possibilities, and for the first time in a while, you felt a glimmer of hope.
the walk to the bar was filled with a mixture of anticipation and unease. the streets were bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, casting long shadows that danced with each step you took. jihyo walked ahead, her laughter echoing down the empty street, while jackson stayed close by your side. as you approached the entrance of the bar, a sudden chill washed over you, sending a shiver down your spine. you couldn't quite place the feeling, but it was a foreboding sense that something was about to happen. the moment you walked in, the dim lighting and the low hum of chatter enveloped you. But it was the pair of dark eyes that you locked with immediately that sent a jolt through your entire being.
it was him, it always seemed to be him. he was sitting at a table with a few friends, his posture relaxed but his gaze intense. your body tensed involuntarily, and jackson, ever perceptive, noticed immediately. he placed a comforting arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. âease up,â he whispered in your ear, his voice calm and reassuring. âiâve got your back.â
you finally broke the gaze, nodding at jackson, and made your way to a table as far from jungkook as possible. jackson's arm remained draped around you, a steadying presence in the storm of emotions brewing inside you. the two of you indulged in drinks, jackson leaning in close to whisper in your ear. âjust so you know,â he said with a playful grin, âiâm a lightweight.â you laughed, the tension easing slightly. âi know,â you whispered back, your smile widening.
despite your attempts to ignore him, you could feel jungkookâs eyes on you the entire time. he downed his drink, the muscles in his jaw tightening as he watched you with jackson. you could almost feel the intensity of his thoughts, wondering who jackson was and why you were with him. minhoâs voice broke through the haze of tension. âhow about a round of darts?â he suggested, his tone light and carefree.
your mind immediately flashed back to playing darts with jungkook, the way he had stood behind you, guiding your hand, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered instructions. the memory was sharp and painful, and you shook your head. âno, thank you,â you replied politely, trying to keep your voice steady. jackson noticed the flicker of emotion in your eyes. âiâll play for you,â he offered, a confident smile on his lips.
you nodded, grateful for his support. jackson stood up, heading over to the dartboard, and jungkookâs eyes narrowed. his fuse had blown, the thin veneer of calm shattering. âiâll play against you,â he announced, his voice low and challenging.
the room went quiet, the tension palpable. your face went pale, and you glanced at jackson, who scoffed, clearly unfazed by his challenge. âfine,â he said coolly. âletâs play.â
the game began, and the atmosphere was thick with tension. each throw of the dart was accompanied by backhanded remarks, the words sharp and biting. ânice throw,â jungkook commented, his tone dripping with sarcasm. âdidnât know you had it in you.â jackson smirked, his eyes never leaving the dartboard. âyouâd be surprised what i can do,â he replied smoothly. âunlike some people, i donât need to show off.â
jungkookâs eyes flashed with anger. âcareful,â he said, his voice dangerously low. âyou might bite off more than you can chew.â jackson shrugged, his expression unfazed. âi think iâll manage,â he said, his voice steady. the game continued, each round more intense than the last. finally, with a final, precise throw, jackson won. he turned to you, a triumphant smile on his face, and you couldnât help but hug him congratulatory. his embrace was warm and reassuring, a stark contrast to the cold glare jungkook sent your way.
his gaze never left the two of you, his eyes dark and stormy. the tension in the air was almost suffocating, but in jacksonâs arms, you felt a sense of safety and support. the night was far from over, but for now, you allowed yourself to bask in the moment, grateful for the small victories amidst the chaos.
the tension inside the bar had become suffocating, a palpable force that seemed to press down on you. excusing yourself, you made your way to the door, needing a moment of solitude to clear your mind. as you stood up, jackson placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, his lips warm and reassuring. âhurry back,â he said softly, his eyes full of warmth. but you didnât miss the way jungkookâs gaze hardened, his jaw clenching as he watched the small exchange.
you stepped outside, the cool night air a welcome relief. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a cigarette, the flick of the lighter breaking the stillness. as you took the first drag, the smoke curled around you, its familiar scent grounding you in the moment. your peace was short-lived, however. a voice broke through the quiet, low and unmistakable.
âis that your boyfriend?â you didnât turn around. instead, you scoffed, exhaling a plume of smoke. âheâs my ex-boyfriend.â
jungkookâs tone was unreadable as he remarked, âyou two seem close.â you took another drag, the cigarette glowing softly in the darkness. âwe have history,â you replied. âwe might even make up at some point.â
he laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. âdonât even think about it,â he said, his voice hardening. finally, you turned to face him, anger flaring in your chest. âwhat does it have to do with you?â
he took a step closer, his eyes locked onto yours. âthe sight of you with another man makes me unreasonably angry,â he confessed, his voice low and intense. you were silent, your heart pounding as he stepped even closer. his presence was overwhelming, the air between you crackling with unspoken tension. without breaking eye contact, he reached out, taking the cigarette from your hand. he brought it to his lips, taking a slow puff, a small smile playing on his lips.
âmind your own business,â you said, your voice shaking slightly. âweâre nothing but friends, according to you.â he took another puff before leaning in, his gaze never wavering. in a swift motion, he pulled you in for a kiss. for a moment, you kissed him back, lost in the familiar warmth and intensity. but reality snapped back, and you pushed him away, anger and confusion swirling inside you.
âi have no interest in playing your games anymore,â you said firmly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. he was taken aback, his expression one of surprise and hurt, but he stayed silent. you stepped back, your eyes meeting his one last time. âstick to your usual players,â you told him, your voice laced with finality.
turning on your heel, you walked back into the bar, leaving jungkook standing alone in the night. the door closed behind you, the noise and warmth of the bar enveloping you once more. jackson looked up as you returned, concern flickering in his eyes, but you gave him a reassuring smile, trying to push the encounter from your mind. as you rejoined the group, the weight of the moment lingered, a heavy reminder of the complicated web of emotions you were entangled in. the night carried on, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
the night blurred as you indulged in the haze of alcohol, the edges of your reality softening with each drink. jungkook had returned to the bar, his presence a sharp contrast to the numbness that enveloped you. he made a deliberate effort to ignore you and jackson, his attention directed toward the girl beside him. she was a stranger to him, her name unimportant as she pressed kisses to his neck and traced her fingers along his collarbone.
you hadn't planned on drinking as much as you did. but when you caught a glimpse of the butterfly on the girl's wrist, the sight stung like a needle, memories of jungkook's monarch tattoo flooding back, memories of your own cherished drawing flooding back. you stared at the bottom of your glass, realizing you had lost count of how many times it had been filled and emptied.
jihyo noticed first, her eyes filled with sympathy as she took the glass from your hand, ignoring your feeble protests. jackson, his expression a mix of concern and exasperation, leaned in close. âyou've had too much,â he murmured, his voice gentle yet firm. you wanted to argue, to push away his words, but the truth of them settled heavily on your shoulders. you felt too relaxed, your movements sluggish and your thoughts muddled. jackson announced to the group that he was taking you home, his tone leaving no room for debate.
that was when jungkook's attention was drawn back to you. he watched, his eyes darkening with an emotion he couldn't name, as jackson helped you to your feet. jungkook's heart twisted painfully as he saw the way you clung to him, your fingers gripping his shirt as if it were the only thing keeping you upright. he wanted to intervene, to take you in his arms and carry you home himself, but the weight of his own pride held him back. all he could do was watch as jackson guided you out of the bar, the girl's touch losing its allure entirely.
the walk home was a stumbling journey, your words slurring together in a drunken rant about what an asshole jungkook was. jackson did his best to console you, his voice soothing even as a pang of jealousy tightened in his chest. the sight of you in pain, tears glistening in your eyes, was almost more than he could bear.
when you finally reached your front door, he paused, his hands gentle as he steadied you. âseeing you cry was one of the worst experiences of my life,â he confessed, his voice low and earnest. âany man who makes you cry doesn't deserve you.â you looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes cutting through the fog of alcohol. he leaned in, pressing a final kiss to your cheek, the touch tender and bittersweet. âtake care of yourself,â he whispered before turning to leave, the weight of his unspoken feelings lingering in the air.
you watched him go, your heart heavy with the tumult of emotions swirling inside you. the night was quiet now, the world around you still as you stood on your doorstep, the echo of jackson's words ringing in your ears. inside, the emptiness of your home seemed to mirror the void in your heart. you stumbled to your room, collapsing onto your bed, your mind replaying the events of the night. the taste of jungkook's kiss still lingered on your lips, a reminder of the complicated web of feelings you couldn't untangle. as sleep finally claimed you, your dreams were a tangled mess of memories and emotions, a reflection of the chaos that had become your reality.
the next day dawned with a dreary sky, the clouds heavy and swollen with impending rain. the rhythmic patter of raindrops against your window was a somber lullaby, pulling you from the clutches of a restless sleep. you groaned, the pounding in your head a relentless reminder of the previous night's excesses. forcing yourself out of bed, you prepared for the day, each movement deliberate and slow, as if the weight of your thoughts had seeped into your very bones.
the campus was a blur of umbrellas and hurried footsteps, the rain a persistent curtain that blurred the edges of your vision. you pulled your jacket tighter, shivering as the cold droplets kissed your skin. as you made your way to your morning class, a voice called out, stopping you in your tracks. âwait! could you come with me to the office?â
you turned to see one of the teachers, her expression unreadable. nervousness clawed at your insides, but you nodded, falling into step beside her. the walk to the office felt interminable, the walls closing in as a sense of dread pooled in your stomach. once inside, she gestured for you to sit, her demeanor serious. you complied, the anxiety almost unbearable as you waited for her to speak.
âthe schoolâs program sends ten students from different departments every year to japan,â she began, her voice measured. âthey spend a year at our sister art academy to strengthen their future as artists.â you nodded, your heart pounding. âiâm aware.â
she leaned forward, her eyes intense. âyour sculptures have caught the eyes of many. youâre the top candidate. would you be interested?â the words hung in the air, your mind reeling. excitement surged through you, momentarily banishing the remnants of your hangover. âyes, absolutely!â
a smile ghosted across her lips. âyouâll need to create one more simple piece, something that speaks to you. can you do that?â you nodded, your thoughts already racing. âyes, iâm on it.â
âgood. finish and present it as soon as possible.â you left the office, the rain still falling in relentless sheets. the excitement that had bubbled within you was quickly overshadowed by a gnawing hesitation. the reality of what the opportunity meant settled in, heavy and unyielding. you would be leaving everything behindâyour friends, your school, and jungkook.
the thought of leaving him sent a fresh wave of uncertainty crashing over you. despite everything, despite the confusion and the pain, he was a part of your world. the idea of being an ocean away from him was almost too much to bear. you found yourself wandering aimlessly, the rain soaking through your clothes, each step feeling heavier than the last. your mind was a tempest, torn between the excitement of a new adventure and the fear of the unknown. the prospect of creating another sculpture loomed before you, a task that now felt monumental under the weight of your emotions.
the memory of your last piece resurfaced, the butterflies chasing freedom only to realize they needed love. the irony wasnât lost on you. as you trudged through the rain, you realized that this new piece had to encapsulate everything you feltâthe excitement, the fear, the longing, and the love. you headed back to the studio, the familiar scent of clay and plaster a strange comfort. as you began to work, the world outside faded away. your hands moved almost of their own accord, shaping and molding, each touch a cathartic release of the turmoil within. the rain continued its steady rhythm against the windows, a melancholic soundtrack to your efforts.
hours passed in a blur, your focus unbroken despite the emotional storm raging inside you. the sculpture began to take shape, a raw, unfiltered expression of your heart. it was a simple piece, yet it spoke volumesâa delicate balance of freedom and love, the very essence of your struggle. by the time you stepped back to admire your work, exhaustion had settled into your bones, but there was a sense of accomplishment too. the piece was a part of you, a fragment of your soul made tangible.
as you stepped into the bustling cafĂ© where you had arranged to meet jihyo and jackson, the atmosphere was charged with the soft hum of conversations and clinking coffee cups. the light rain that had persisted throughout the day drummed gently against the cafĂ©âs windows, adding a soothing rhythm to the scene. you were greeted by their warm smiles as you took your seat, the weight of the dayâs revelation still heavy on your shoulders.
jackson leaned forward, his eyes alight with genuine enthusiasm. âyou know, this opportunity is amazing. your talent has always been evident, and this chance in japan is well-deserved. iâm so proud of you.â jihyo nodded in agreement, her eyes reflecting the same pride and encouragement. âyouâve worked so hard. this is the kind of break you need to truly shine. i know youâre feeling hesitant, but remember how much youâve accomplished. this is your chance to take it to the next level.â
you smiled weakly, your excitement mingling with apprehension. âi definitely plan to take it. itâs just, everythingâs happening so fast, and iâm not sure how to let go of everything Iâm leaving behind.â
jackson reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours. âyour art is the best thing about you. itâs not just a part of you; itâs a reflection of who you are. anyone who gets to experience it, anyone who gets to know you through your art, is incredibly fortunate. youâre meant for great things.â
âthank you,â you said softly, feeling a wave of gratitude mixed with unease. it was then that you noticed a familiar figure through the cafĂ©âs window. your heart skipped a beat as you saw jungkook sitting outside, his presence an unexpected jolt to your already fraught emotions. your breath caught in your throat as you observed him with another girl, who sat comfortably in his lap. they were sharing an intimate kiss, the tenderness of the moment starkly contrasting with the chaos swirling inside you.
the sight was a knife to your heart, the image of their closeness slicing through your resolve. you felt the world around you narrow, the laughter and chatter of the cafĂ© fading into a distant hum. every beat of your heart seemed to echo with the impact of what you were witnessing. the gentle curve of jungkookâs smile, the way he held herâit was a brutal reminder of what you were losing. struggling to maintain composure, you excused yourself with a shaky voice. âi think i need some air. iâll walk home.â
without waiting for their response, you stood abruptly, the cafĂ©âs warmth feeling stifling against the cold storm brewing inside you. you pushed through the door, the crisp rain and cool air a sharp contrast to the suffocating emotions that had taken hold. each step felt heavy, the rain drumming against your skin a harsh, unrelenting reminder of the turmoil within.
as you walked, the image of jungkook and the girl replayed in your mind, a relentless echo that seemed to drown out all other thoughts. your heart felt like it was being pulled in a hundred directions at onceâtoward the excitement of your new opportunity and the painful reality of what you might be leaving behind. the rain continued to fall, mingling with the tears that slipped down your cheeks, unnoticed. the world around you seemed to blur, your thoughts a chaotic whirl of feelings and memories. the prospect of the future was overshadowed by the haunting present, and the weight of your choices seemed almost unbearable. you trudged along, the journey home a silent testament to the internal struggle you faced. the thought of him and his effortless connection with someone else was a harsh reminder of the emotional complexity you had to navigate, and the path ahead felt uncertain and fraught with both hope and heartache.
the rain fell in heavy, unrelenting sheets as you walked home, each step a painful reminder of the emotional weight you carried. the sky was a somber gray, the clouds a reflection of the storm raging inside you. your body felt frail, your legs weak, as if the very essence of your being was being drained away. the weight of what you had seen, the raw pain of feeling worthless, clung to you with an almost tangible heaviness. jungkook had meant the world to you, yet now it seemed that even that precious world was slipping through your fingers, leaving nothing but a hollow ache.
you trudged along the empty streets, the rhythmic patter of raindrops against the pavement blending with the chaotic rhythm of your thoughts. the cold rain soaked through your clothes, chilling you to the bone, but it barely registered against the emotional frost that had settled over your heart.
suddenly, you heard your name being called out. the voice was distant, but unmistakable. you recognized it instantly. it was him. you kept walking, trying to push the sound away, as if ignoring it could somehow make it disappear. but then, you heard it again, more urgent, cutting through the rain-soaked night. your steps faltered, and you turned around, your heart sinking as you saw him running towards you, his figure becoming clearer with each stride.
jungkook was drenched, the rain pouring down his face, mingling with the anguish that seemed to be etched into his features. his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. he reached you, breathless and soaked to the skin, but his presence was like a burning beacon in the storm.
âdonât go,â he said, his voice breaking through the relentless roar of the rain. you stared at him, confusion mingling with the pain in your chest. âwhat are you talking about?â
âi heard about japan,â he continued, his voice raw and pleading. âdonât go. please.â
the words struck you like a blow, but you fought to keep your composure. âi have no reason to stay,â you replied, your voice trembling despite your efforts to remain firm. to your surprise, jungkook took your hands into his, his grip warm and desperate. âi need you here,â he said, his eyes filled with a pleading intensity. âi need you to stay.â
the tears that you had been holding back began to well up, blurring your vision. you pulled your hands away from his grasp, your voice cracking as you spoke. âi need to be as far away from you as possible. i like you too much, jungkook. i care for you, but i canât give you the freedom you want. i need to chase my own freedom.â
you turned away, but his grip was swift and unyielding. he grabbed your arm, pulling you back, his fingers digging in with a desperation that matched your own inner turmoil. you could hear the ragged breaths escaping from his lips as he clung to you, his voice barely above a whisper. âplease, just stay. donât go.â you tried to pull away, but he held on, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close until your back was pressed against his chest. his embrace was both comforting and agonizing, a paradox of warmth and sorrow. you could feel his heartbeat against your back, a rhythmic reminder of the pain that was being shared between you.
he whispered into your ear, his voice trembling with emotion. âi need you. please donât leave me.â
the tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you remained silent, the weight of the decision pressing heavily upon you. his pleas were a bittersweet melody that tore at your heart, the pain of leaving him and the freedom you sought intertwining into a tormenting dance. with a final, wrenching sob, you pulled your arm away, turning to face him one last time. his face was a picture of heartache, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he watched you, his expression a mixture of longing and devastation. the sight of him, so vulnerable and broken, was almost too much to bear.
you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you turned away once more. the rain seemed to pour harder, as if the heavens were weeping for the love you were leaving behind. you walked away, each step feeling like an eternity, the pain of leaving jungkook and the promise of your future battling within your heart. the finality of your decision was a heavy burden, but you knew that you had to forge ahead, even as the sorrow of what you were leaving behind threatened to consume you.
the night had been a long, dark tunnel through which you stumbled, your steps muffled by the weight of your sorrow. the rain had pattered relentlessly against your window, a haunting lullaby that matched the rhythm of your tearful sobs. you had cried yourself to sleep, each tear a silent testament to the heartache that coursed through you, mingling with the cold emptiness of the night. the warmth of your bed was of little comfort, overshadowed by the turmoil that roiled within your chest.
as dawn broke, its pale light filtered through your curtains, casting a somber glow over the room. the sunâs early rays were a stark contrast to the storm inside you. you rose, your movements slow and weary, the exhaustion from the previous night clinging to you like a second skin. with a heavy heart and leaden steps, you prepared yourself for the day aheadâthe day of your presentation.
the studio was quiet, save for the soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead. you walked to your piece, the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. the sculpture you had createdâa delicate representation of butterflies and an outstretched handâstood in the center of the room, bathed in the cold light of morning. the clay had been shaped with painstaking care, each butterfly a testament to your emotions, each wing a silent echo of your heartache.
you gazed at the sculpture, your breath catching in your throat. the butterflies, which had once been a symbol of your freedom, now seemed to mock your sorrow. their fragile wings, once vibrant and hopeful, were now a muted reflection of your internal struggle. the hand beneath them was extended as if in an eternal gesture of solace, yet it seemed to grasp at something forever out of reach. the piece was a paradoxâa representation of the freedom you yearned for, coupled with the love you were leaving behind.
your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your teacherâs voice, cutting through the silence like a lifeline. âeveryone's waiting,â she said, her tone gentle yet firm. the words jolted you into action, and with one final, reluctant glance at your sculpture, you lifted it with trembling hands. the weight of the piece felt like an anchor, dragging you toward the theatre room where your presentation awaited.
as you entered the room, the atmosphere was charged with anticipation. the space was filled with an array of facesâjihyo and jackson, their supportive expressions a stark contrast to the tension that gripped you; the professors from japan, their keen eyes scanning you with a mixture of curiosity and evaluation; and jungkook, who sat among them, his presence a palpable ache in your chest. he looked worn, his face haggard as if the night had been a battleground of its own. when the room fell silent, you began your presentation, your voice wavering as you started to speak. your gaze frequently flickered to your piece, but it was jungkookâs eyes that held you captive. the connection between you was electric, a silent conversation that spoke louder than words.
you began to explain your sculpture in intricate detail, your words a poignant reflection of the emotions you had poured into it. âthe butterflies,â you said, your voice trembling with emotion, ârepresent the pursuit of freedom. they chase after an elusive goal, their wings a delicate dance of hope and struggle. eventually, after chasing freedom for so long, their wings began to wither. fall apart. they become weak, as they search for solace from the hand that awaits them,â each phrase you uttered felt like a resonating dagger piercing through jungkookâs heart, each description a painful reminder of what you were leaving behind.
the roomâs ambient noise faded into a background hum as your focus remained solely on jungkook. the intensity of his gaze made it hard to breathe, and despite the precision of your words, you could not hide the tears that brimmed in your eyes. the sculpture, which you had hoped would be a beacon of your artistic achievement, was overshadowed by the rawness of your feelings. as you concluded, your voice cracked with emotion. âall theyâve ever known was freedom,â you said, your voice barely more than a whisper, ânevertheless, all they ever needed was love.â
the professors responded with polite applause, their approval a distant echo to the tumultuous storm of your emotions. Your heart was focused solely on the sight of jungkook, whose eyes were fixed on the sculpture with an expression of profound sadness. a single tear slid down his cheek, tracing a path that seemed to embody all the words left unsaid between you.
he turned abruptly, his face a canvas of heartbreak, and you watched as he walked away, your eyes following the path of his butterfly tattoo. the symbol, so intricately tied to your shared history, seemed to pulse with a haunting resonance. it was as if the butterfly was an echo of the love and freedom you both had chased, now left fluttering in the storm of your separation. the finality of his departure was a bitter pill, and as you stood there, the weight of the moment pressed heavily upon you. the sculpture, the presentation, and the love you were leaving behind melded into a poignant tableau of loss and longing.
the presentation room, once filled with the fervor of evaluation, gradually settled into a subdued murmur as the professors gathered their thoughts. their voices, though hushed, carried an air of reverence. one of them, an elderly man with a sharp gaze softened by years of experience, approached you with a warm smile. âyour work is extraordinary,â he said, his voice rich with genuine admiration. âthe way youâve captured the essence of freedom and love through your sculpture is nothing short of brilliant.â
another professor, a woman with a commanding presence and a graceful poise, nodded in agreement. âindeed,â she added, her eyes sparkling with approval. âyour piece speaks volumes. the subtlety and depth of emotion conveyed through your butterflies and the extended hand reflect an understanding of art that goes beyond technique. itâs a rare gift.â
you stood there, feeling their praise wash over you like a gentle tide. despite their words, a hollow emptiness lingered within you, a void that seemed impervious to their accolades. they continued, âwe are pleased to inform you that the academy in japan has reviewed your work and welcomes your arrival as soon as tonight.â
the words were a formal acknowledgment of what you had anticipated, but they did little to stir excitement within you. you simply nodded, your face an impassive mask that concealed the whirlwind of emotions brewing beneath. your teacher, who had been a silent witness to the exchange, gave you a supportive pat on the shoulder, her eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and empathy.
as you prepared to leave, jihyo and jackson were by your side, enveloping you in heartfelt congratulations. âyou did it!â jihyo exclaimed, her voice a mixture of joy and sadness. âthis is such a great opportunity for you.â jackson joined in, his embrace firm and reassuring. âweâre so proud of you,â he said, his voice heavy with sincerity. âthis is your chance to shine, to make your mark on the world.â yet, amidst their praises and supportive words, you felt a profound emptiness. the accolades, the approval, even the opportunity felt distant, overshadowed by the weight of your own emotional turmoil.
just as you were about to leave to pack, jacksonâs voice stopped you in your tracks. âwait,â he called softly. you turned to face him, curiosity mingled with trepidation in your eyes.
he took a deep breath, his expression a blend of melancholy and resolve. âi knew it would never be me,â he began, his voice steady yet laden with unspoken emotion. âwhen i saw your work, and when i saw jungkookâs tattoo, i understood that this was something i could never be a part of.â his words were an acknowledgment of the deep-seated truths that had been woven into the fabric of your shared experiences.
his gaze softened as he pulled a sleek black box from his pocket. âi have something for you,â he said, holding it out with a tender gesture. âjungkook asked me to give this to you.â with a final, gentle kiss to your forehead, he wished you a safe journey, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and resignation. âiâll always be waiting for you,â he said softly.
you accepted the box, feeling the weight of it in your hand. as you turned to leave, the heaviness of your heart seemed to magnify with every step. the box felt like a tangible piece of the emotions you were grappling with, a silent witness to the complexity of your feelings. once you were home, the task of packing your bags seemed almost secondary to the allure of the box. you set your belongings aside, your gaze fixed on the small, unassuming container. the anticipation was almost unbearable as you slowly opened it.
inside, nestled in a bed of soft black velvet, lay a silver necklace. the pendant was an exquisite butterfly, its delicate wings capturing the light with a subtle sheen. the craftsmanship was impeccable, every detail of the butterflyâs form rendered with a delicate precision that took your breath away. your hands trembled as you lifted the necklace, the weight of it feeling like a physical manifestation of the emotions you had been suppressing. with a mixture of reverence and sorrow, you clasped the necklace around your neck. the cold metal brushed against your skin, and you could feel the butterfly resting over your heart.
as you fastened the clasp, the floodgates opened, and the sobs that had been building up erupted uncontrollably. the tears streamed down your face, each one a reflection of the anguish and longing that had been bottled up inside. the necklace, a symbol of love and departure, seemed to echo the pain of leaving behind the things and people you cherished.
you sank onto your bed, the weight of the necklace a bittersweet reminder of jungkook's affection and the heartbreak that had marked your journey. the room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a space where your emotions were laid bare, each tear a testament to the complexity of your farewell. the necklace glistened softly in the dim light, a silent witness to your sorrow and the new chapter that awaited you. as you lay there, the tears slowly subsiding, the butterfly pendant against your skin felt like a fragile promiseâa delicate symbol of the freedom you sought and the love you had to leave behind.
the airport buzzed with the ceaseless motion of travelers, each with their own stories of departure and arrival, but for you, it felt like the world had stopped. every step toward the gate was weighted with the gravity of what you were leaving behind. the butterfly pendant lay cold against your chest, a stark reminder of the connection you still felt to jungkook, its delicate form pressed close to your heart.
the evening was draped in a shroud of melancholy, the terminal lights casting a pale glow over the bustling scene. you walked through the throngs of people, each stride a battle against the urge to turn back, to run away from the decision that tore at your soul. the departure board loomed ahead, and you searched for your gate, the numbers and letters blurring together through the haze of your emotions.
when you finally reached your gate, your heart sank. the moment had come, and the reality of your departure hit you with a force that nearly knocked the breath from your lungs. the weight of your chest was unbearable, the ache of leaving everything behind more than you had anticipated. your mind swirled with thoughts of jungkook, the memories of your time together interwoven with the pain of parting. just as you were about to resign yourself to the inevitable, you heard your name being called. it was a voice you would recognize anywhere, even amidst the cacophony of the airport. you turned slowly, your breath catching in your throat. there he was, running toward you with an urgency that mirrored the turmoil in your heart.
you stood frozen, unable to move as jungkook reached you, his breath ragged from the sprint. his eyes, filled with a mix of desperation and love, locked onto yours. âdonât leave,â he pleaded, his voice breaking with the weight of his emotions. the tears were quick to follow, faster than your words could form, streaming down your cheeks in a torrent of unspoken pain. he continued, his voice trembling. âi donât just need you,â he said, his hands trembling as he reached out to cup your face with a gentleness that broke your heart. âi love you. i canât bear the thought of you being so far from me.â
the background noise of the airport faded into nothingness as you sobbed, your vision blurred by the flood of tears. his touch was a balm to your aching heart, his words a lifeline in the storm of your emotions. he repeated himself, his voice steadying with conviction. âi love you.â in that moment, the world around you ceased to exist. it was just the two of you, standing at the precipice of a decision that would alter the course of your lives. you allowed yourself to melt into his embrace, the warmth of his body a stark contrast to the cold metal of the necklace against your skin.
âi love you too,â you whispered, your voice barely audible through the sobs that wracked your body. the admission was a release, a catharsis of the emotions you had held back for so long. you clung to him, feeling the strength of his love envelop you, grounding you in a way you hadnât felt in ages. but even as you surrendered to the moment, a small voice in the back of your mind whispered the harsh truth. you knew it wasnât love, not in the way that was meant to last. it was a tempest of passion and pain, a connection born from the shared scars of your pasts and the unspoken longing that had drawn you together.
as you stood there, entwined in each otherâs arms, you knew that this love, however flawed and fleeting, was all you had ever wanted. it was the reason your heart ached, the reason your soul soared, and as you buried your face in his shoulder, you made a silent promise to cherish this love for as long as it lasted, no matter how brief or bittersweet. no, it wasn't love. nevertheless, you were in love with him.
â§.*
a/n: if there's one thing i'm gonna do it's add jackson wang as a random side character...this was inspired by my favorite horror kdrama aka nevertheless
#bts#bangtan boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bts fanfiction#bts x reader#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#ot7#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader smut#jungkook x reader angst#fuckboy!jungkook#nevertheless#hurt/comfort#college!au
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Beast (Dion Agriche)
TAGS: Dion/Dragoness!reader, pining, pervy thoughts, breeding, oneshot Ao3 ver. | Ko-fi | Commissions (OPEN)
This place feltâŠsad.
The towering manse was objectively magnificent and yet an air of gloom seemed to envelop the very air that passed through the exquisite halls. Though perhaps it could be attributed to the unmistakable metallic scent that hung heavily within almost every corner of the estate.Â
Whether it was the main courtyard, the gardens, or from deeper within, the darkness that settled over the entire structure was like a shroud of death that beckoned victims to fall into the sweet embrace of oblivion. Itâs only through luck however, that they can either meet a swift end or a drawn out and miserable one.Â
Judging from the melancholic or downright pained expressions upon the ghostly specters that roamed the area, itâs safe to say that this was a place of great suffering and tragedy. None of the actual living occupants could see them, most especially that man whose soul harbored an impressive amount of corruption for a human. No matter how many angry spirits clung to him in hopes of dragging his soul straight out of his body in order to enact their just revenge, each death done or ordered by his hand only seemed to further the taint.Â
Itâs almost as if he drew power from the lives heâd stolen.
He wasnât the only one who attracted the attention of the restless souls. The manâs children who tried to follow in his footsteps also had a trail of bodies before them even before they could be called adults. Even one of his wives, a seemingly spritely woman with doll-like features, took lives as easily as getting rid of unpleasant pests.
In conclusion, this family is as cursed as the land they had stained with rivers of blood over the years. Â
Much to your surprise however, not every Agriche shared a penchant for senseless murder. One of the eldest living daughters (Roxana) only had a single ghost following her and even then, the ghostly image of the teen boy didnât seem to want to tear her limb from limb like all the others. Rather, he followed after her much like a puppy who only wanted to keep up with her pace. Sadly, the blonde never seemed to take notice of the boy who bore remarkably similar features with her even as he tried to reach his hand out to touch her.Â
For she lives within the plane of the living, while he now resided in between life and death, unable to move on due to regrets or some other unfinished business you didnât know of. Â
The question isâŠare you content with staying as a mere observer?
The blonde youth perks up the moment he realizes you can see him, sheer relief brimming from every pore within his spectral body when you speak your first words to him. He is rich with the secrets Lante Agriche fights tooth and nail to prevent from ever seeing the light of day.Â
A lonely boy becomes lonely no more and a displaced dragoness finds that becoming lost wasnât too bad when you have good company around you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dion doesnât dream.
Considering the amount of blood that stained his rough hands, it is better that he only descends into nothingness whenever he rests his eyes, for one could only imagine what horrors lay in wait to torment him for all the atrocities heâd committed. Heâs not afraid of the ghosts of his victims, but rather finds it useless to think of flames that had already been snuffed out when they could no longer influence the living in any way.
But then something changes.
He feels a soft, warm touch that gently traces the length of his nose, cups the sharp angles of his face, and even delves into his dark locks. Though his eyes remain closed, his own subconscious supplies him with the image of hands much smaller than his own large ones that poked and prodded at him without fear.Â
While he would have caught the appendages and mayhaps stuck a knife into anyone who decided to lay their hands upon him, Dion knows that this could only be a dream because who would even dare to caress him so gingerly in the middle of night within the Agricheâs own manor? If anything, he finds his dreamself to commit to memory the feeling of such a gentle touch being bestowed upon him, because rationally he knows that he has no need for softness. In the confines of his own subconscious however, he supposes that he can allow himself this at the very least.
When he wakes up at the crack of dawn, it is to open windows with its blinds fluttering as the morning breeze makes its way to his room, bringing with it not just the familiar scent of iron that seemed to permanently surround the place heâd grown up in.Â
Though he cares not for flowers specifically, he does have knowledge on their practical uses such as poisons and the like. He also prefers knowing the native flora and fauna of the hunting grounds heâd be thrown into in order to get a better grasp of the terrain.
Blooming honeysuckles make his brows furrowed in confusion despite his stone-cold exterior, confused as to how and why such a scent overpowered the ever present iron tang in the air.Â
Curiouser and curiouser.
Dion remains oblivious to the shared laughter between a woman with ivory in her hair and a boy whose eyes reflected the deep, bright expanse of the open sky as they watched him stick his head out of his windows to locate the origin of the oddity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
âYOU...â
â...Me?â
Dion feels his body practically burning from the inside-out, his heart beating several miles per minute as he finally gets a good look of the poltergeist that haunts his nights. He remembers the tender touches you press against his skin, the warm caresses that leave him gasping for breath and his loins aching for sweet release by the time heâs released from your clutches once dawn has broken.Â
He does not need your sweetness.
He has no use for your gentleness.
And yet he craves it.
He has never desired anything.Â
He has never felt so strongly about anything other than the swish of his blade, the gurgling of his victims, and the blood splattered against the ground as another mark of his martial prowess.
And yet you drove him to become more of a feral beast than he ever was as he now wished for nothing else other than to possess your whole being just as you possessed him without even meaning to.
â...are MINEâ
Your surprised squeak is music to his ears, the flush on your cheeks pleasing the beast that sought to have you pressed down on the ground and taken ruthlessly, flooding your fertile womb with his virile seed...
.
.
.
To be continued(?)
#lexsssu writes#the way to protect the female lead's older brother#dion agriche#dion agriche x reader#dion agriche x you#dion agriche x y/n#deon agrece#deon agrece x reader
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I know a good majority of c.ai users (who actually know how the platform generates its content) genuinely do not give a shit, but in the spirit of assuming the best of peopleâ
If you have a favorite writer, and you also use c.ai, please consider how it might make that writer feel to find out that the hard work they put into making something for your enjoyment ultimately has no value to you. That hours spent coming up with interesting narratives and prose specifically to entertain you just flat out does not matter to you.
Like, I know it seems like writing is an easy thing to get into, but think about a book you really liked, that you thought was really really good, vs a book you absolutely hated because it was horrible. Or a show. Or a video game. Any piece of art youâve engaged with. The differential between those two pieces is a function of labor, not inherent skill. Time and effort and study goes into making any competent creative work.
Writers put forth that effort because the reward is getting to watch an audience enjoy it. It really is a pleasure to be able to see someone appreciate our work, because then we get to experience our own work all over again, in a new way, from a different angle. I donât know if readers (or consumers of any creative media) understand thatâwe only get to write something once, but through you, we get to enjoy it a whole lot longer than the hours we spent writing it.
Itâs personally validating. You may not think it should beâyou may think writers should just write for the sake of itâbut thatâs just not how it works, and never has been. Making art has always been about that reciprocity. We make, you enjoy, we enjoy you enjoying what we made, and then we make more for you to enjoy. On and on. Symbiosis.
Which is why it is absolutely soul-sucking to reckon with the fact that there is now a machine that youâre using, essentially, to replace us. The effort we make to reach out to you is completely unimportant, because you donât care about us, you care about what you get out of us. And whatâs more, you settle for far worse quality, because you get it faster.
So our effort doesnât matter, because you just donât care. We present you a five course meal, and youâre still just as satisfied with slop. And while you may retort with some sort of claim that it means we shouldnât try so hard to write well, we should just focus on getting shit out fasterâwe like this hard work. We enjoy it. We take pride in making something good.
You just donât care about that. All youâre concerned with is your own insatiable appetite.
Like, a lot has been said about the ethics of AI, the environmental impact, and the labor impact, so I wonât reiterate it, but I just want you to think about this. Itâs a real person making real effort that youâre turning your nose up at in favor of easy gratification.
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SEPFEMBER 2024 PROMPTS LIST
HERE WE ARE! AT LONG LAST! THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN (HOPEFULLY) WAITING FOR! GIRL MONTH!
I honestly can't believe this is actually happening. This event was a shower thought a few months ago.
Here's a recap of the event: to participate, make at least one fanwork of any variety during September that features a woman or women from the Zelda franchise as the main character/s. All Linksmeets are welcome in this challenge, as well as general LoZ fans!
Before I drop the prompts list for those who are looking for a little direction, I'd like to mention that I have made an AO3 COLLECTION FOR THIS EVENT. It's open and unmoderated so you can add your works to it freely. And if you post on tumblr, please tag #sepfember !! I'll be scrolling through the tag every day looking for things to reblog and gush about đ
If you have any questions at all about this event, or you want to chat about it, my askbox is open! I will also respond to comments and reblogs of this post.
Now, onto the prompts. Disclaimer: you DON'T have to use all/any of these prompts, or only create things for certain characters on their featured day. This list is just a GUIDE for those who want it. If you have other plans, go with your heart!
At the end of the day, this is a celebration, and all that matters is that you have fun. I hope some of you will join me next month in giving our girls some time in the spotlight, but if you can't, that's okay! There's no pressure! This is just a passion project of mine, really, and I am overjoyed that people are interested đđđ
(apologies in advance for the terrible quality of these pics and the equally terrible commentary. i thought it would be funny. also, i've never had to come up with a prompts list before and it shows.)
DAY 1: SKYWARD SWORD ZELDA + PURPOSE
(we start at the beginning of course đ)
DAY 2: MARIN + WASH
(it was SO hard to find a screenshot of her that didn't have link in it. they're both cute but this ain't about him.)
DAY 3: MEDLI + GIFT
(i didn't know she played the harp until i saw this screenshot! i obviously have a lot to learn.)
DAY 4: TWILIGHT PRINCESS ZELDA + FREEZE
(how creepy does she look here?! so awesome)
DAY 5: HILDA + GHOST
(SUCH a good character for real. she has depth!!!! she has a thematic purpose!!!)
DAY 6: URBOSA + LOSE
(two words: LIGHTNING POWERS âĄâĄâĄ)
DAY 7: SPIRIT TRACKS ZELDA + MISTAKE
(babygirl you are 2 entire pixels.)
DAY 8: FI + ORDER
(oh she is everything to me)
DAY 9: MIDNA + SWORD
(she looks so soulful right now)
DAY 10: HYRULE WARRIORS ZELDA + SUMMON
(what a FIRE camera angle??? her armour is so impractically attached but SHE HAS A SWORDâŒïž)
DAY 11: GODDESSES OF HYRULE + EYES
(hylia, din, nayru, farore, the list goes on...)
DAY 12: ZORA PRINCESSES + TRUST
(mipha, ruto... poor suckers... it can't be fun, falling for link...)
DAY 13: OCARINA OF TIME ZELDA | SHEIK + FATE
(note: I personally hc this character as a trans man, but since this isn't explicitly confirmed in-game and might not be shared with everyone, I've given them a celebration day anyway. you are free to do what you wish.)
DAY 14: MALON + GUARD
(she is adorable. look at her)
DAY 15: IMPA + BOUND
(HOTTEST MOST SEXY MOST BADASS WOMAN IN THE FRANCHISE âŒïžâŒïžâŒïž I LOVE YOU IMPA YOU ARE PERFECT. SHUT UP I DEFINITELY DON'T PLAY FAVOURITESâ)
DAY 16: FOUR SWORDS ADVENTURES ZELDA + PORTAL
(i loved her in the fsa manga. she's barely in it but STILL. go read it.)
DAY 17: FAIRIES + TIRED
(the great fairies, navi, ciela, tatl, proxi...)
DAY 18: TETRA + LEGACY
(isn't she KICKASS?!)
DAY 19: EPONA + BONE
(our lovely loyal girl đ„°)
DAY 20: A LINK BETWEEN WORLDS ZELDA + HOME
(SHE IS SUCH A GOOD PARALLEL TO HILDA PLEASSSSSE)
DAY 21: SARIA + WISH
(a classic character! isn't this picture so peaceful)
DAY 22: BOTW/AOC/TOTK ZELDA + PEACE
(SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME. SCREAMING CLAWING CRYING. MY DARLING, YOUR FANARTISTS WERE THE ONES TO DRAW ME INTO THE ZELDA FANDOM. I HOPE I CAN RETURN THE FAVOUR ONE DAY)
DAY 23: CIA + LANA + STUDY
(technically, she's one person. between the two of them they certainly only wear enough clothes for one person... )
DAY 24: ARYLL + HUG
(sister to the hero! but what's her story?)
DAY 25: ECHOES OF WISDOM ZELDA + ARREST
(YEAHHHHHHHHH GIRL MONTH GIRL DAY GIRL GAME!!!)
DAY 26: CD-i ZELDA + HOLIDAY
(hehheehehehe. i bet you weren't expecting her. neither was i tbh)
DAY 27: PURAH + FIRE
(SHE'S CLEVER! I LOVE CLEVER WOMEN!)
DAY 28: ILIA + ERUNE + MEND
(listen. i know erune is a very niche character - she literally only exists in the four swords manga - but consider. i love her)
DAY 29: ALTTP/OOS/OOA/LA ZELDA + MISSING
(she has no canon personality. you know what that means. get the building equipment out fellas)
DAY 30: LINKLE + FAREWELL
(and here we are - LAST DAY!)
THE END! YAY! I CAN'T WAIT FOR SEPTEMBER - CAN YOU?
#sepfember#SEPFEMBER PROMPTS LIST 2024#IM SO OVERTIRED PLS LET ME KNOW IF I MADE ANY MISTAKES#THANK YOU. GOODNIGHT#I LOVE YOU ALL#linked universe#FORGOT TO TAG THE FANDOM LMAO#linked universe event#fandom event
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aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .ă»ăăă»
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i'm back :)
.ă»ă.ă»ăâă».ă»ă.ă»ăâă»Â»Â»ââââ>
if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life đ
âšđ§ââïž just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you
speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you đčđč what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result âŒïžđđčđ„đ„
asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house
1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(
2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it
3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor
4h - hatred towards family
5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit
6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)
7h - hatred towards partner (âđđ), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone
8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive
9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible
10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person đčđč (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)
11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media
12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"
cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)
what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to
taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)
mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!
some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you
undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship đââïž
talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)
developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are đ€© (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)
what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama đđ
water suns are prone to being delusional đčđč
air venus stop giving mixed signals
i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... đčđč
moon-neptune aspects đ€ say something then regret it
libra big 6 placements đ€ attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()
undeveloped fixed moon đ€ being petty
pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao
aqua mars đ€ makes ppl amazed
air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! đ
saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(
there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there đ§ââïžđȘ
#astro notes#astrology#astrology observations#astroblr#asteroid astrology#venus astrology#taurus#mercury astrology#sagittarius#houses in astrology#libra#pluto astrology#synastry#venus synastry#astrology chart#synastry chart#natal chart
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Message From Spirit Animals đąđđł
Pick A Pile Tarot
(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)
Hello, lovely Senstea Souls!đ
I hope you're all doing well. This is another collective tarot reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
If you wish to book a tarot reading with me then I'm mentioning the links for the same below:
Booking Form âą Rate Card
đąđđłđąđđłđąđđł
Pile 1
You're in your feels pile 1. Trust me, the pain is in the past. And you know that. Some of you are allowing yourself to feel grief for one last time.
Stingrayđ: You've made some right choices over and over again. Good job on standing firm on your beliefs and boundaries. A celebration is coming your way as you're manifesting something new. You've never experienced this kind of blessing in the past, but you've definitely wished for it. You've become a magnet for aligned opportunities/communication, and I know you don't see it manifested in your reality yet, but it's approaching you very soon. Like, VERY soon.
Frogđ: This spirit animal wants you to fully step into your power. Don't run away from feeling too deep, as this time you won't drown. It seems that you've got your feet in two different worlds because you don't want to let go of your safety net. If you don't let go, you won't fully be able to experience your blessings. Trust the cosmos.
Dragonflyđ: You're too busy finding faults, and Dragonfly wants you to look at the brighter side of things. Your life was meant to unfold the way it did. Nothing more could be done. Rather than changing your story, accept it. Honor it. Find meaning in your journey. Don't blame yourself or anybody for how it panned out.
Overall messageđł: You understand that you're yearning for something that makes you feel the lack of it, and you know this isn't helping. Stop looking at things from thousands of angles and finding ways that life will never favor you. Don't sabotage yourself into believing you've a long way to go. No, you don't. You've come a long way. It's time for you to let go of the old version of you completely and let this new version shine bright.
Pile 2
This pile reminds me of freedom. Your energy is so well put. This powerful person you've turned into is all due to the pain you've gone through. You have gone through some major endings in the past. For some of you, it's regarding a person, so if you still wonder if the story is over? Your answer is yes, it's over.
Camelđ: Water is important for you. I feel that you've got a lot of heat in your body and even rage. You're peaceful unless provoked. You're self-reliant and self-sufficient. The camel is here to remind you that you may have had to go through some major challenges for years, but it takes you only a few weeks to recover from them. Do you see that??? Isn't that beautiful? You guys are quick learners. I feel some of you were with someone for years but fell out of love as soon as you saw how incompatible you two were. It took you some time, though. Anyway, you're shining, pile 2. You're glowing. Just stay hydrated to glow even more!
Gazelleđ: Gazelle wants to tell you that it's so proud of you for turning your pain into wisdom. It wasn't easy for you to isolate yourself with the abandonment wound you had. But you did it. Gazelle wants you to never look back at all, as you've already learned your lessons. There's no more to learn. It's time you eat well. I hear something about weight loss. Maybe you've lost weight or want to lose weight. It's time you take care of your body and move it a little. I hear, âgraceful moves.â Try slow dancing or yoga. As you're a sensitive being, you need some extra care. And hey, âthe old chapter's been burned.â Move on happily.
Fireflyđ: Here I feel that your intuition is trying to tell you something, but you're blocking it. You're emotionally intelligent but do have a bit of trust issues because of your past (not gonna blame you, though). There's silence between you and someone you're meant to be with. Maybe you know them or don't know them at all (it seems that you've met them in your past life). Another thing that I'm seeing here is that you're still figuring out what you were made for. You're being encouraged to restart working on an old passion. This is a gift that you just couldn't work on because of mental blockages. But it's changing now.
Overall messageđł: Your wisdom isn't dangerous; it's powerful. I watched a movie yesterday, and there was a beautiful dialogue in it that goes like this: âYour difference is your POWER!â Do not be afraid to stand out and speak your truth. If you keep doing what the whole world is doing, then you'll lose your essence. An exciting new beginning is headed your way after what you lost. And it's happening all because you have been doing well in the school of life.
Pile 3
As you've surrendered by being backstabbed in ways you never imagined, do you realize that you pushed too hard to make something work? However, the universe is about to return the rewards of your efforts from a different source.
Black Eggđ: I know it feels like your prayers are not being answered. Things have been moving slowly, and there has been slow progress materially. It's because you doubt your work, especially your words. It's time to trust in your age-old wisdom and not look for validation from the outside world. You've got a lot to be grateful for; you just need to shift your focus from what isn't working out to what is. Talk to yourself about it and be honest.
Cosmic Eggđ: In slowness you channel the wisdom from the ethers. You have access to an abundance of knowledge. Allow your lower chakras to accept and trust the messages you receive. Go slow and be patient; you're about to be massively blessed. If water comes with force, it will cause havoc; similarly, the more you rush, the more you mess up. If the flow of water is slow and steady, it's going to help nourish the mother earth. The universe has something special to gift you and bless you with. You deserve it. Also, spend more time in nature.
Beaverđ: Water and Earth are prominent in your reading. Financial blessings are coming your way. Your heart will feel satisfied with what you're about to receive. What you're about to receive is going to be your justice. As you've been at the rock bottom, you deserve to be at the top too because you never gave up! You've been doing what you felt was your calling and what the universe wanted you to do. Not a lot of people care about their purpose but their sense of security. If you did what the universe told you to or allowed the cosmos to have control of your life while you focused on your karma, then you're about to receive what you deserve. Everything is going to balance out. If you've been looking for a home or a place for yourself, you'll have enough to afford it.
Overall Messageđł: The tough cycle has ended. It's time for you to receive your blessings as you've learned enough by spiraling from lesson to lesson. Bees may be significant for you. Some of you may have been as busy as a bee.
#pick a pile tarot#pick a card#tarot card reader#tarot readings#tarotblr#pick a pile#tarotcommunity#pick a pile reading#message for the collective#psychic readings#psychic tarot#intuitive readings#message from spirit#spirit animal#intuitive messages#tarot reading
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Please tell me more about force fem Minato being made the shinigami's wife
From this ask meme
I fucking knew someone would single that one out. Anyways, from my notesapp:
Force fem Minato being made the shinigami's wife as punishment for his hubris He and Kushia used to joke about Minato being the wife between the two of them, so he's eventually able to cope w his situation and dissociate by relying on the "I'm Kushina's wife" joke as a crutch to make it all feel slightly less awful The shinigami sends him on errands as his wife (collecting souls lmao) and Minato uses it as an excuse to watch Naruto and Kakashi from affar,, Umm maybe some of the errands involved Minato baiting people into making deals with and summoning his shinigami husband? He is the lure and the shinigami is the stick lmao The shinigami can't actually do things or manifest in the real world without someone first inviting them into their lives, so, like, that's part of what Minato's wife duties are. To get people to open the door to the shinigami. Among other things
+ Bonus which is kind of unrelated but was on the same notes page:
I like Minato for the take that there's something fr wrong w him and he makes a concious effort to appear normal and kind
He's like. Somewhere on the spectrum of sociopathy or has severe borderline personality or just some genuine mental illness and he works very hard, borrowing the mannerisms of those around him, to be charming and nice n stuff
I forget what fic I saw that in but like THATS the fic that made me care ab him
Hashirama đ€ Minato
'Being friendly to the point that there's smthn genuinley wrong with them'
Minato !! I think he has a lot of untapped potential specifically in the market of fucking w shinigami. Like, what's even up with that? Let's play with that a little.
The man who would kill a thousand people in a day and return home happy to his wife,,, now turned into the wife who the shinigami who would kills thousands in a day returns home to,,, is this karma?
There's a few different directions this could go in tbhâ both from the angle of like. How Minato is feeling / what he's going through but also like. Shinigami and yokai lore. What kind of shinigami / yokai lore are we playing with here.
The question isn't just what Minato is going through but also where the fuck is he. Is he in the Shinigami's personal little death dimension? Stuck inside the shinigami mask with him? Or is there some sort of broader shinigami world he's now living in? Is it only the shinigami, who Minato has to deal with? Or does he watch over any of the (no doubt countless) souls the shinigami has in its collection? Does he interact with any other yokai? Are the yokai he meets inside of whatever death dimension he's in or is it that he meets them when he leaves it to run errands? Or in some other, third place? Is Minato even human anymore or does he classify as some sort of yokai now too?
So many fun thoughts!
Anyways ummm. Thinking. Having thoughts. Specifically having abstract thoughts ab some sort of enraged Uzu fox ghost Kushina and new yokai shinigami wife Minato
Kushina's ghost is an Uzumaki one,, she grew up in Uzu where they just kind of have death god shrines n shit, apparently, she was never going to become a normal spirit. And that's not even counting the fox in her + all that weird yin/yang stuff w kurama. She is an angry, angry fox ghost with Uzumaki roots and she wants her wife back !!!
Umm Romeo and Juliet style forbidden love in the afterlife of Minato one day running back into Kushina's spirit (probably while they're both taking a moment to watch over Naruto / check in on Kakashi)
And they like. Do the spider man pointing meme bc HOLY SHIT OMG MY SPOUSE YOURE ALSO TRAPPED IN THIS AFTERLIFE LIMBO and also make out and like tell eachother what they've been doing (Kushina w her cool Uzumaki spirit lore and Minato w his much less cool "yeah so the shinigami um. Turned me into his wife. So.") but then they're forced to separate bc Minato can only leave the shinigami's domain for so long
Forbidden romance under the eye of the shinigami,,, if Minato gets caught the shinigami threatens to make him reap Kushina's soul to add to his collection
Idk but there's just a lot of potential here.
Naruto not from the POV of anyone living but instead from shinigami wife Minato trying to slip in time to see his fox ghost wife again as the plot of Naruto happens in the bg, could be fun
Then the Uchiha massacre happens and suddenly so many more angry spirits are getting added to the mess, oh boy
But yeah thank u for participating in the ask game here is a much longer than I meant for it to be tumblr post as ur payment
#birds fic talk#birds asks#naruto#minato namikaze#namikaze minato#minato#naruto au#minakushi#kushina uzumaki#uzumaki kushina#kushina#naruto shippuden
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