#We would simply be making arguments from the text.

[norristrii]

STAND BY YOU.

Engaged on a Las Vegas pavement, you and Lando now look forward to the next chapter—your wedding awaits.

pairing. fiancé! Lando Norris x bsf! fiancée! fem! reader.

warnings. none, just fluff. This is part2 of Stand By Me ! Glad you liked it <3 For better understanding, I recommend to read it first.

THE WEEKS BLURRED TOGETHER in a whirlwind of planning, laughter, and Carlos’s dramatic antics. True to his word, Carlos had insisted—demanded, really—that he would officiate your wedding. The delay for the certificate became a running joke, his overly enthusiastic updates on the process making it impossible to take anything too seriously.

Still, amidst all the chaos, being engaged to Lando felt strangely… natural. The teasing, the inside jokes, the easy camaraderie—all of it had shifted subtly into something deeper, more meaningful. You couldn’t help but think about how absurdly obvious it seemed now, how perfectly it all fit together. Why hadn’t you done this earlier? The thought lingered in your mind, bringing a smile to your face every time it crossed your thoughts.

The room buzzed with excitement as Rebecca, Lily, and Alex worked tirelessly to perfect every detail of your dress. You stood in front of the mirror, the reflection staring back at you almost surreal. The gown flowed effortlessly, hugging you in all the right places and radiating an elegance you hadn’t quite imagined for yourself. Your bridesmaids hovered around you, adjusting tiny details, smoothing fabric, and offering reassurances that you looked stunning.

“Who will walk you down the aisle?” Lily asked casually, her voice breaking through your thoughts. The question hit you like a thunderbolt. Your eyes widened, panic bubbling to the surface as realization struck. Oh fuck. Of course, there was something you’d forgotten—there had to be.

Your gaze darted around the room as your mind raced. The answer you sought came in the form of Lewis. He seemed oblivious to the whirlwind of activity around him, his presence grounding in a way only Lewis could manage. In many ways, he had always been like an older brother to you—constant, supportive, and unshakable in his quiet strength.

You quickly texted him, your fingers flying over the screen as you summoned him to the room. Moments later, the door swung open, and there he was, his expression curious as he stepped inside. “What do you need, Y/n?” he asked, his tone casual but tinged with concern.

“I need you to walk me down the aisle,” you said, the words tumbling out in your moment of desperation. His eyes widened in horror, the surprise evident in his reaction.

“What? Me? I don’t know, Y/n—” he hesitated, his voice trailing off as he processed the request.

“C’mon, Lewis, you are perfect for that,” you assured him, your voice carrying all the conviction he needed.

He raised an eyebrow, his teasing nature kicking in despite the seriousness of the moment. “Do I look like your father? Am I that old?” he joked, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

You rolled your eyes, exasperated but amused. “Lewisss,” you said, drawing out his name in a way that left no room for argument.

He paused for a moment, then nodded, his expression softening. “I’ll do it,” he said simply, his voice steady and warm.

The avenue was alive with chaos, a far cry from the calm serenity one might expect at a wedding. Flower petals littered the ground, already prematurely scattered by Kimi and Isack, who stood off to the side with expressions that ranged between regret and mischief. “Can you remind me why we agreed to do this?” Kimi muttered under his breath, his tone dripping with quiet exasperation.

Carlos, however, was having none of it. His booming voice cut through the disarray, rising above the hum of last-minute preparations and hushed conversations. “C’mon, boys! You’re not at a funeral, you’re at a wedding!” he shouted, his arms flailing for emphasis. His enthusiasm, as always, was impossible to ignore, and it served as an attempt—albeit futile—to inject some order into the madness.

By the arch, Lando shifted uncomfortably, his nerves all too evident as he tried not to let the chaos get to him. Carlos stood next to him, a grin playing on his face despite the commotion. “Relax, mate,” Carlos teased, nudging Lando lightly. But Lando barely reacted, his focus elsewhere—on you, on the moment to come, and on the reality of what was about to unfold. Chaos or not, this was happening, and he couldn’t hide the nervous excitement bubbling under the surface.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Lando muttered to Carlos, his voice carrying a mix of disbelief and nervous excitement. His hands fidgeted slightly, as if his body hadn’t quite caught up with the enormity of the moment. The chaos surrounding them—Kimi and Isack’s antics with flower petals, Carlos shouting directions, and the hum of last-minute preparations—almost felt distant, the weight of the occasion taking center stage.

“And I can’t believe you actually got the certificate,” Lando added with a laugh, the tension breaking just enough to let a grin tug at his lips. Carlos smirked in return, pride evident in his expression. “I’m a man of my word,” Carlos said dramatically, adjusting his position by the arch with a flourish that bordered on theatrical.

Lando chuckled, shaking his head as he cast a glance towards the avenue where you were still out of view. This was it—the moment he never imagined he’d experience, but now couldn’t fathom it happening any other way. This was happening, and the thought alone made his heart race.

The soft hum of conversation in the avenue was replaced by the first notes of the music, filling the air with an elegant melody that signaled the beginning of something extraordinary. The bridesmaids walked out one by one, their dresses flowing gracefully as they moved in sync, their smiles radiant and genuine. The crowd stirred, heads turning to watch Rebecca, Lily, and Alex take their places.

Carlos, now standing taller by the arch, adjusted his jacket as he stole a glance at Lando, whose nerves seemed to return with a vengeance. Lando’s eyes darted toward the aisle, the anticipation in his expression palpable. The music swelled, each note carrying the promise of what was to come, and the avenue seemed to hold its breath as the moment unfolded.

The soft hum of the music filled the venue as you entered, Lewis walking confidently by your side. All eyes turned towards you, the room buzzing with quiet awe as you made your way down the aisle. You couldn’t help but grin, the joy radiating from you as you took in the sight of your friends standing together, groomsmen perfectly aligned—Charles, Oscar, and Max—all dressed immaculately, each wearing a mix of pride and amusement on their faces.

But your gaze lingered longest on Lando. The way he looked at you—eyes full of love, amazement, and just the tiniest glimmer of nerves—made your heart soar. For a moment, it felt like time slowed, as if the chaos of the world outside had melted away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect bubble.

“I think I’m going to cry,” Max whispered, breaking the spell as his voice carried to Charles and Oscar beside him. Oscar gave him a sideways glance, half amused, while Charles raised an eyebrow in mock judgment.

“It’s not even your own wedding,” Charles muttered, his dry humor earning a quiet chuckle from Oscar.

Max wiped at an imaginary tear, a playful grin breaking across his face. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be emotional,” he quipped, his dramatic flair adding yet another layer of charm to the moment.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, their banter grounding the surreal beauty of the day. But when your eyes flicked back to Lando, the world around you seemed to fall quiet again. This was your moment.

As you reached Lando under the arch, the music softened, replaced by the warm sound of Carlos clearing his throat. Standing tall, his charisma on full display, Carlos began his speech with a tone that was equal parts heartfelt and lighthearted. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he started, his smile broad as his gaze swept across the crowd, “we’re gathered here today to celebrate a very unique love story.”

His words resonated, and the crowd quieted, eager to soak in the moment. “What started years ago as a friendship,” Carlos continued, “is now turning into marriage.”

Lando’s hands found yours, his touch grounding you as Carlos spoke. You could feel the slight tremble in Lando’s grip, betraying his nervous excitement, even as his grin remained unwavering. Carlos threw a playful glance Lando’s way, his tone shifting into something cheekier. “I still remember how Lando simped over Y/n into my DMs,” he said, his laughter spilling out in a way that drew chuckles from the crowd. Lando’s blush deepened as his eyes momentarily dropped to the floor, his embarrassment evident but undeniably endearing.

Carlos grinned at the memory, glancing back at you both. “And how we planned the proposal,” he added, his expression growing warmer as he recalled the effort and camaraderie that went into orchestrating the big moment.

“And, to be honest,” Carlos said, turning to meet your gaze directly, “I didn’t think she would say yes.” His words carried a teasing note, but his sincerity was unmistakable. “But here we are now.”

The crowd erupted in laughter and applause, the warmth and joy of the speech permeating the venue. You caught Lando’s eyes, his blush still lingering, but his expression was full of love, gratitude, and a quiet thrill that made your heart flutter. Carlos’ words captured the essence of your journey—unconventional, chaotic, and perfectly yours.

Carlos cleared his throat, adopting a playful yet sincere tone as he began, “So, Lando, do you promise to always stand by Y/n? Even when she’s yelling at you for something that, let’s be honest, you probably deserved?”

The crowd chuckled softly, the humor in his words breaking the tension of the moment. Lando smiled, his eyes never leaving yours as he answered confidently, “I do.” His voice was steady, carrying every ounce of love and commitment he felt in that moment.

“And Y/n,” Carlos continued, his tone teasing yet undeniably warm, “do you promise you’ll always stand by Lando—through wins, through losses—and do you promise to always love him, even though he’s going to complain about, well, almost everything?”

A ripple of laughter spread through the crowd, the lightheartedness of Carlos’s words easing the tension of the moment. You turned to Lando, who was already grinning, his cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment at Carlos’s playful jab. His eyes locked onto yours, full of love and anticipation.

“I do,” you replied, your voice steady and filled with certainty, carrying the weight of everything this promise meant. The simplicity of those two words held all the chaotic adventures, heartfelt moments, and laughter you’d shared—and all the beautiful unknowns still waiting ahead.

Carlos beamed, spreading his arms wide as he declared with flair, “Well then, with that, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!” The cheers and applause erupted around you, the joy and celebration wrapping you both in a perfect, unforgettable moment.

Lando didn’t hesitate for even a heartbeat. The moment Carlos’s words faded into the cheers of the crowd, he closed the distance between you, his hands gently cupping your face as his lips found yours with an intensity that made the world around you disappear. The kiss was full of emotion—love, relief, and the overwhelming joy of finally reaching this moment.

The crowd erupted into applause and cheers, but it all felt distant, like background noise to the electricity sparking between you and Lando. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his grin wide and uncontainable. “You’re stuck with me now,” he whispered, his voice low and teasing, though the love in his eyes was anything but playful.

“No way, Oscar is crying!” Max exclaimed, his voice loud enough to turn a few heads. You and Lando glanced back, curiosity piqued as you looked over at Oscar. Sure enough, there he was, subtly wiping at his eyes, clearly trying—and failing—to be discreet about it.

Oscar noticed the attention and immediately straightened, his expression shifting into something resembling nonchalance. “I’m not crying,” he muttered, though the slightly red hue in his eyes betrayed him. “There’s just… something in the air.”

“In my wildest dreams, I never imagined Lando would be the first of us to get married,” Charles said, shaking his head with a playful shrug. His words drew a few laughs from the group, but his expression held a touch of genuine disbelief.

“Especially to Y/n,” he added, glancing over at you and Lando with a grin that bordered on teasing. “I mean, she’s everything—smart, beautiful— and he’s... well, he’s Lando.”

“Shut up, Charles,” Lando retorted, rolling his eyes as a smirk tugged at his lips. His tone was playful, though it was clear he wasn’t going to let Charles get away with his teasing without firing back.

The group erupted in laughter, Max clapping Charles on the shoulder as if to commend him for stirring the pot. “Come on, he’s just jealous,” Max added with a grin.

“I’m not jealous!!” Charles exclaimed, rolling his eyes so dramatically it was almost theatrical. The emphasis in his voice only made his claim less convincing, and you couldn’t help but suppress a laugh as you exchanged a knowing glance with Lando.

“Yeah, definitely not,” Lando muttered under his breath, a cheeky smirk lighting up his face. Max burst into laughter, clapping Charles on the back. “Sure, mate,” Max said, his tone dripping with amusement. “We totally believe you.”

Charles crossed his arms, trying to hold his ground, but the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth betrayed him. The playful banter continued, fueling the lighthearted, chaotic energy of the day—a perfect reflection of your close-knit group of friends.

You just smiled at them, their playful banter fading into the background as you stood next to Lando. The moment felt surreal, like something out of a dream you’d never dared to believe could come true. From childhood best friends, sharing secrets and laughter, to that impulsive, imperfectly perfect engagement on the pavement—just the two of you and the overwhelming love you couldn’t contain. And now, here you were, standing together in front of everyone who mattered, taking the next step into forever.

Lando must have sensed your thoughts, because when you glanced at him, his soft smile told you everything without saying a word. The way he looked at you—the same way he always had, but now with the added weight of this day, this moment—made your heart swell. What started as a friendship built on late-night chats and shared dreams had grown into something deeper, stronger, and absolutely unshakable. This was your story, and it was only just beginning.

@haniette , @ughyoustink , @quinquinquincy

[wardensantoineandevka]

a lot of people mistake "the storytellers were inspired by and made references to these particular works in their story" as the same as "this story has the same themes as the works that inspired it or that it referenced or it is successfully structuring, executing, and conveying those themes"

you can't just hold up a collection of references, pulls, and touchstones that a storyteller or a work makes and claim that the work inherently has the same themes as all those other things by mere fact of quotation

a storyteller who is inspired by a lot of works exploring moral ambiguity in power dynamics is not automatically successfully exploring and presenting a framework of ambiguity in their own works. someone who drew from many works of environmentalism and the relationship between humanity and nature for inspiration is not necessarily centering that in their own works (we see this a lot with "Ghibli-inspired").

knowing what a storyteller or work is inspired by or drawing from is useful for understanding influence and, yes, sometimes maybe even intent. it CAN clarify motivations and intentions of the work for a reading or interpretation, and it CAN provide a context to structure how one reads a work. this sort of thing IS useful sometimes for considering the work within its mode and possible intentions and what its influences are. it cannot, however, create meaning in the work. it cannot sufficiently bridge a gap within the work itself to successfully establish, structure, and execute theme and narrative. a list of inspirations or references does not on its own produce meaning within a work nor does it do the heavy lifting for how that meaning is conveyed and how effectively it is.

[maenefa]

Why does Eowyn want to die?

Because Aragorn won’t love her? Because she feels trapped in her feminine gender role?

These are the explanations we get in the text. However, none of the characters really acknowledge Eowyn’s darkest fear: being taken alive by the enemy.

There are some bad takes on Eowyn that boil down to patronizing her and downplaying the seriousness of her problems. People say that she had a naive desire for glory and Faramir teaches her that war isn’t actually fun. Then there’s the whole “Eowyn was a deserter who selfishly ran away from her duty” argument.

You can only say these things if you ignore how dire the situation was, how close Sauron was to winning, and how gruesome Eowyn’s fate would have been if he won. She knew that death or capture likely awaited her, and she knew that dying in battle was the least bad option. (She also knew her own worth and believed that she was too useful a warrior to be left behind with the civilians. And she was right.)

Eowyn’s actions are ruthlessly practical! She wants to die fighting because that’s better than waiting around for The Horrors. Let’s be real, Eowyn is too sensible to be suicidal over an unrequited crush.

Here are some of her most revealing quotes:

“All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honor, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more.”

“And those who have not swords can still die upon them.”

“Nor is it always evil to die in battle, even in bitter pain. Were I permitted, in this dark hour I would choose the latter.”

“But I do not desire healing…. I wish to ride to war like my brother Éomer, or better like Théoden the king, for he died and has both honour and peace.”

In the end, Eowyn only stops wanting to die after Sauron is defeated. Just before the Ring is destroyed, she tells Faramir:

“I stand upon some dreadful brink, and it is utterly dark in the abyss before my feet, but whether there is any light behind me I cannot tell. For I cannot turn yet. I wait for some stroke of doom.”

Eowyn can’t turn to light and life until the war is over. Hope is too painful; death at least offers “honor and peace.” This passage is so important because it EXPLICITLY links Eowyn’s despair to the outcome of the war and makes it clear that she is not simply having a meltdown because Aragorn rejected her.

There are two important moments where Eowyn is threatened with violence. The very first time we meet her, we are told by Gandalf that Wormtongue planned to turn her into a sex slave after Saruman conquered Rohan. Even though this threat is dismissed quickly, it’s a disturbing reminder of what could happen to Eowyn if Sauron wins.

Then we have the most triumphant moment of Eowyn’s story: her battle with the Witch King. Once again, Eowyn is not threatened with death, but with captivity and torment:

“Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”

Eowyn laughs at him and makes sure to announce that she is a woman before killing him. Her victory is all the more satisfying because the Witch King has just threatened her with captivity, loss of agency, the violation of her body and mind—all threats that Eowyn has faced before. But the Witch King’s words continue to haunt Eowyn and us. He threatens to withhold death; and death is therefore framed as an escape, a gift. Eowyn is taken to the Houses of Healing, but she is obsessed with returning to battle and fighting until she dies.

When Eowyn says that she fears “a cage,” this is a brilliantly simple metaphor for the entire spectrum of oppression she has faced: from the well-meaning restrictions of her culture to the horrifying enslavement threatened by Wormtongue.

Once the war is over, Eowyn is able to laugh at her fears. She teases Faramir: “And would you have your proud folk say of you: there goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North!” Her fear of being caged has been turned into a bit of flirtatious banter. She feels completely safe with Faramir, and the idea that he “tamed” her is nothing but a joke between them.

[fangharel]

we need to talk about The Silence and The Song

[PLEASE READ] edit to add: i realise that this post has been reblogged far and wide and that there is not a lot i can do about it now, but this is me trying anyway.

posting examples from the fic about my issues with its repetitive structure was careless of me, and i apologise to those of you who read it and became insecure about your own writing style. as someone who has worked with ai in academic settings, it's incredibly difficult for me to explain to you how the tone and structure of ai-generated fiction works and how, after reading enough of it, you can simply just tell. i do also realise that this is an incredibly weak argument, which is why i didn't include it when i originally wrote this post.

all that to say: there is an enormous difference between "beginner's writing" and ai writing. being repetitive as a new writer (or a seasoned one who just likes using repetition) is so normal. as is flowery/purple language. i've read hundreds of books and fics and the difference between these traits in ai-text and actual works is starkly clear. please don't feel anxious over the examples i've used in this post.

again, i apologise for any distress i have caused.

as per my last post, i have received a lot of encouragement to go public with this, and the more disappointed people i have in my dms, the angrier i get. so i will.

the silence and the song is an ancient arlathan au DA fic on ao3 by luxannaslut, and it is partly, if not entirely, written by an ai. i have no wish to be involved in any kind of fandom drama or witch hunting or bullying, but as a writer myself there are few things that piss me off more than watching people steal the work of others because they can't be fucked to write. it's disrespectful to your fellow writers, it's disrespectful to your readers, and it's disrespectful to the authors of the works the ai is stealing from.

ai is a plague that has no business being in creative spaces and you must do better.

the writing pattern

there was something very odd and monotone about the sentence structure of tsats that i couldn't quite place, so i fed chatgpt a prompt along the lines of "two people in a fantasy novel hate each other, but they secretly desire one another, and they kiss", and the screenshots above are the results. the third one is an excerpt from chapter 40 of tsats. the writing pattern is identical and it doesn't seem like the "writer" has even bothered to pretend they wrote it. if you're going to use ai, at least be sneaky about it. you know, paraphrase a little.

nonsense descriptions

"her nimble fingers worked with quiet precision" (ct. 1), "his grip firm but tender" (ct. 33), "her gown pooling around her like embers" (ct. 1).

fingers don't make sound, so what does quiet precision mean? as opposed to what? her joints cracking with every movement? how is a grip firm but tender? what does that mean? since when do embers pool?

the entire fic is littered with these adjectives that contradict each other or just straight up do not make sense, because all an ai does is generate descriptive language with no understanding of what the words it's spitting out actually mean. i could spend hours picking out examples from the seven billion pages worth of text, but i quite frankly have better things to do and would simply challenge you to try getting through a chapter or two without noticing the pattern.

repetition at structure-level

all the scenes in this fic are described in pretty much the same way. they open with purple prose vomit of the surroundings; solas is standing somewhere looking "unreadable as ever"; ellana's fiery golden molten fire copper ember ginger red hair is flowing this and that way; there's some dialogue with whoever is present and it leaves ellana feeling different variations of "something she couldn't name". this is, once again, a blatantly obvious sign of ai. below is the result of me feeding chatgpt the line "write me a scene from a fantasy novel where a woman with red hair is sitting on the ground in a magical garden at night", and side by side with that is the opening scene of the fic. make your own judgement.

repetition at word-level

this one speaks for itself. we fucking get it. her dress is orange, her hair is red, mythal's presence is heavy in the room, solas looks unreadable, compassion is sitting on her head like a crown, solas' ears are betraying him and ellana's move with every thought she thinks. we get it. the issue here is that an ai remembers the info you feed it, but not necessarily the info it shits out. if it's being told to write scene after scene of an elven woman with a gown that looks like fire doing xyz, it's going to do so with no regard for how many times the reader has already been informed of these details.

lastly: the breakneck speed

359,6k words in four weeks by a person who allegedly is employed and married and hasn't pre-written anything? no. any writer will tell you that this simply isn't possible. it absolutely infuriates me to see how much praise this "writer" gets for posting up to three full chapters in a day without anyone calling bullshit. i am pulling out my hair, you guys.

why i'm not going to live and let live this one

perhaps i would be less angry if the fic was some silly bullshit court intrigue Y/A stuff, but this is a text that handles very heavy and triggering topics such as SA, coercion, domestic abuse, and other things of the same vein. to sit back and put your feet up while having a robot write these extremely sensitive and very real human experiences with words it has stolen from texts written by actual persons is fucking heinous. the "writer" should be deeply ashamed of themselves and i'm sick and tired of watching people eat up their bs.

and on that note: the amount of people in my dm's telling me that they feel stupid and naive for not clocking this has infuriated me more than anything else. you're not foolish for this. being fed ai-generated bullshit is not what is supposed to happen on any creative platform and much less a fandom-centred one, so of course no one approaches a fic through that lens. fandom and fic writing is supposed to be about passion and the only person in this situation who needs to do better and change their behaviour is luxannaslut. polluting our creative spaces, wasting the time of your readers, and minimising the effort of actual writers who are working hard to provide content for us all to share and enjoy is vile and so, so lazy. i beg of you: do better.

[mimiamorewon]

—★ mdni, reblogs appreciated 

content: short angst, explicit language, slight toxicity, suggestive/ sexual content (phone $ex from one party), implied masturbation, sexual tension, pet names (doll & sweetheart)

word count: 1.9k

not proof read!

You & Toji had just got in one of the most heated fights recently, not being anything new, but being worst than before. So bad, in fact, that you stormed out of his house, vowing to never look back. part of you wanted to never to see him again but the other part— one you hated to admit— wanted him to chase you right out of that door. 

But he didn’t.

The argument had started over something petty- your tendency to leave lights on, maybe—but it snowballed into a shouting match where old wounds just happened to be reopened. You faced accusations like daggers, and he parried with cold indifference that stung worse than any insult.

once you arrrived home, you attempted to convince yourself you didn’t really mind, attempting to keep up that facade even when you were by yourself. you had just gotten in bed after taking a shower and doing all of your nightly routine things, the whole time trying to push the argument out of your head, and still- with not a single text or call from Toji. you were always the one to apologize first since you would usually initiate the arguments, and this was the first time you’ve ever left in such a rage, so you decided to test Toji.

just how long could he refrain from texting or calling you? it wasn’t like you cared or anything… but somehow every notification you got from your phone made your heart beat just a little louder in anticipation that Toji had finally reached out.

in frustration, you simply turned your phone off, and angrily turned your back to it.

You stared at the ceiling, the quiet of your apartment almost suffocating. Part of you ached to hear his voice, even if it was just to fight some more. The other part hated that you felt so desperate for him. pathetic you thought bitterly to yourself, dozing off.

-

Toji leaned back in his bed, his hand hovering over the phone. he suddenly smirked to himself, knowing the power he had over you. his thumb finally pressed ‘call.’ He always loved getting under your skin, but this time it had gone too far, and he hated how much he needed to hear your voice again

-

what felt like only 5 minutes after dozing off and finally falling asleep, you heard your phone ringing. after being woke up, you check the time on your phone, and it was around 1:30 am. 

Toji? you thought. It couldn’t be anyone else.

still groggy and half-asleep, you stare at Tojis name and contact, glaring brightly onto your face. Childishly, you debate whether you should simply just let it ring… but your curiousity got the best of you, and against your better judgement, you answered. 

You exhale, hoping you were making the right decision by answering. “What do you want?” you snapped, your voice sharp as you propped yourself up on your elbow. there had been a moment of silence in the other end of the call, a silence that almost made your stomach sink. should I have answered differently? you thought. Suddenly, a low, mocking chuckle came through the speaker, immediately taking back your previous thought.

“Took you long enough to answer y/n,” Toji continued, his voice smooth but with a familiar edge of smugness, “miss me yet?”

you roll your eyes as far as you can into the back of your skull and grip the phone tighter, “now why the hell would I miss you?” Another laugh. deeper this time. like your anger amused him to no end. “I dunno, doll. y’ tell me. You’ve been waitin’ for this call, haven’t you? Lying there, pretending like you just don’t care… you act like we haven’t been together for almost 3 years. ‘m not stupid.”

his words set a fire in your chest. he was right. he was so right that it inevitably pissed you off to your core, and before you could even think about what came out of your mouth, you snapped.

“I hate you.”

..the line went quite for what felt like forever. you almost believed that he had hung up, moving the phone from your face to check the screen. You heard a faint click from the other end, and It wasn’t until a few beats later that Toji would give you his response, long and drawn-out, as if he were savoring every word.

“Say that again.”

Your breath slightly stopped, flinching at his words, and realizing too late that this game you started was dangerous.. sooo dangerous.

you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but the pulse from your chest had betrayed you. “what?” you questioned, not knowing if you had pissed him off or if he simply hadn’t heard you the first time. 

you cleared your throat slightly. “I said.. I hate you.” saying it this time felt slightly different. maybe it was because of the embarrassment that came with repeating yourself, but it made it seem as if you didn’t mean it (you didn’t.)

the silence once again dragged on. it was unbearable. you lips had parted to say something- anything- maybe even apologize. was he really hurt? but then, Toji spoke again, his voice just a pitch lower. rougher. dripping with something… hungry.

“say it again.”

you froze. what’s he getting at? you thought, removing your phone from your ear for a second in what seemed like disbelief. “what? are you deaf-“

“you heard me.” his tone slightly sharpened as he cut you off, twisting your stomach all in knots. “…well why’d you stop? keep telling me you hate me.” his words almost coming off as a challenge.

maybe if you weren’t so pissed off at Toji you would’ve heard the zip! that emerged not long after his last few words.

the demand from toji sent a thrilling heat to your cheeks, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. At this point, he’d make you repeat it until you forced yourself to admit you missed him like hell. “you’re actually fucking insane” you hissed, trying to force yourself to sound disgusted, your heart hammering louder and faster in your chest. 

“‘nd yet your still on the phone with me.. hanging on to every word. sweetheart..”, his words suspiciously breathy, not as rough as they were initially, with a hint of amusement laced in his words “if you hated me so badly, you would’ve hung up already. but you can’t, can you?”

you grew internally aggravated at the fact that he could read you so easily, clenching your teeth harder with every word he spoke. 

“Oh, I get it now,” he continued, his voice now taking on a mockingly tone. “You like that shit. that little spark of anger you think scares me off. it’s the most honest thing about you. And it’s all for me.” he cooed in a childish voice.

“what the fuck are you even talking about? The most honest thing? seriously. Are you actually trying to piss me off?” you babbled with anger, “You’re delusional.” your voice wavering slightly.

“Am I?” His chuckle was dark, laced with a dangerous sort of glee. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were lying in that bed of yours, squeezing the outside of your phone like it’s my throat. Maybe wishing it was my hand on yours instead. Or maybe…” Tojis voice getting raspier by the minute, “You’re thinking about what it’d feel like if I pinned you down. made ya’ say it to my face.” he teased in a whisper, almost as if he were taking pleasure in his own sick and twisted scenario. you could practically hear his mischievous grin through the phone.

but nonetheless, a sharp heat pooled in your stomach, your body physically reacting and slightly arching off your bed in response. “fuck I hate you..” you uttered out of frustration followed by a sigh, pinching the space in between your eyebrows and scrunching up your face in response. your voice slightly trembling in a way that made you cringe.

then suddenly, toji groaned. you almost hung up the phone then and there. the sound sent absolute shivers down your spine. “y/n,” he let out, “s-say it again.”

was he trying to tease you? until you took it back? if so… it was fucking working.“stop it-” you shot back, your face burning now.

“you don’t really want me to.” Tojis voice was a velvety poison, wrapping around you. trapping you. “you must want me to make you repeat yourself. over and over. until you choke on it.”

“f-fuck you.” you shut your eyes tightly. trying to maintain the facade of hating Tojis guts entirely (& failing miserably).

“you’d love that would’nt you?” his laugh low and almost out of breath, enjoying every second of this. “You jus’ don’t realize how much I love hearing that you hate me. you can’t even pretend to hate me, and we both know it. but the way you sound like you uhngh— mean it…” his words were followed with a slow exhale. making your thighs press together instantly. 

“Toji—“

“Louder,” he interrupted, the sick request lathered in a sinful tone. “say it like you’re about to break.”

“I hate you!” you almost screamed, more out of desperation to just shut him the hell up more than anything else.

a low groan, transitioning into a flamboyant moan grumbled through the speaker, and for a moment, you swear you could hear his breaths getting shorter and shorter. quicker. as if he were in a rush. “F-Fuck that’s good..” his voice deep and ragged. you started to hear a faint squelching in the distance of Tojis mic. your attitude slowly fading and sitting up in your bed as if that would help you hear it better. “keep going. tell me again.”

in that moment, you tried to decipher if toji meant for you to hear his length being fucked into his fist, living out some kind of sick fantasy, or if he were trying to keep up a front and act like he simply wanted you to regret your words. if that were the case, he’d been doing terribly.

you knew exactly what he was doing.

you could practically picture in your head what the scene would look like. Toji, one hand holding the phone to his ear, the other stroking viciously up and down his huge length, from the veins along it crossing every which way, to the pink curved tip. his legs sprawled out along his bed sheets and his boxers still hung around his ankles, head cocked back with his mouth lazily in the shape of an o, almost drooling while he listened to you talk. you also imagined that same face he made before he came, making him look frustrated. focused even. focused on one thing. the whole scenario was making you unbelievably wet, your cunt throbbing uncontrollably.

your mouth opened, but the words just didn’t come out. silence only stretching once again, his breath along with the faint squelching sound in the distance being the only source of noise on the line. it made your stomach flutter furiously. and just when you thought you’d broke him, his voice turned soft. too soft. the same voice he used when he wanted something from you. when he was desperate. Toji was never one to go below his “normal self” to get what he wants. but his overwhelming power only ever so often would be loosened. only ever for you.

“hey y/n.”

“…y-yes?” Your pulse quickened as his voice grew softer. darker. The way he drawed out your name made your thighs press together involuntarily. you suddenly heard three rough knocks through your front door, making you sit up in your bed, your blood running cold as you look towards your bedroom door.

“open this door for me.”

You stared at the door, heart pounding in your chest. how the fuck did he get here so fast? wasn’t he just?… His voice came through again, deeper this time, dripping with something dangerous.

“come on sweetheart. don’t make me break it down.”

in that moment you were unsure if you were terrified or thrilled. who would’ve known Toji was such a masochist?

#suprised toji can even afford a phone fr

#this has been sitting in my drafts! felt silly, might delete later

[ghostly-bat]

I live for Damian and Lois similarities that I wrote a whole thing about it

This is now posted on AO3 by the way!

────────────────

Clark watched. He simply watched as his son was getting yelled at by the tiny creature known as Damian Wayne.

The boys were what? Both in their 20s now? He thought, and it never ceased to amaze him just how long Jon and Damian had been in each other's lives. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't think they would have lasted this long at first. He remembered them absolutely hating each other when they first met. How Damian had basically kidnapped his own son and how Jon would go on complaining about Damian being arrogant and bossy, only for that to turn into Jon talking about how Damian was probably the strongest, most loyal, and caring person he knew, and Damian basically declaring how he'd protect Jon with his own life. It surprised him to say the least, but it was very much welcomed.

At some point, those admirations turned into affection. Clark remembered very vividly the day when a 14-year-old Jon bashfully admitted that he thought Damian was pretty; Clark nearly choked on his coffee, and Lois just smiled.

"Since... Since when was Damian pretty???" Clark was very confused, because sure, Jon would go on about how he admired Damian from time to time, but pretty!? Where was this going?

"Look, objectively speaking, Damian is a very pretty child. Look at his parents, his mom."

Lois said that last part with emphasis in her tone.

"I think it's pretty normal for Jon to start finding some of his friends attractive at this age. He's 14, and it's not Damian's fault that he takes mostly after his mom."

And it really wasn't, and perhaps Lois was right. Jon was 14, and so was Damian; it didn't have to mean anything other than an observation.

Clark relaxed a bit. Just because his son had said one little thing about his best friend's appearance didn't mean he was developing a crush on Damian Wayne...

Bruce Wayne's son...

Talia Al Ghul's son...

A bat...

"Oh my god..."

Clark was only relaxed for a good three minutes before he started spiraling again.

And Clark was right to spiral because, come two years later, at the ripe age of 16, Lois had the unfortunate luck of walking in on Jon defiling Bruce Wayne's youngest son on their family couch.

Jon froze, his eyes making contact with Lois's own, the sternness in her gaze basically reading 'Really? You should know better.' And he really should have. Jon should have heard her from miles away, should have heard his mom the second her car pulled into their apartment complex, but no, he was a bit distracted with his hands traveling up Damian's shirt and being straddled by the smaller teen as they made out.

And now here he was, staring at his mom with her arms crossed in the middle of their living room, with Damian still on top of him.

He should really move him.

"Mom... You're home early..."

"I texted you that I was coming home early."

"... Maybe call next time?" Jon said with an awkward smile, hoping that he could maybe charm his way out of this one.

"Oh, you are bold for thinking there is going to be a next time."

And with that, both boys were subjected to sitting at least five feet apart from each other, supervised until it was time for Damian to go home.

From that day on, Jon was not allowed to have Damian in his room with the door closed anymore.

And so here was Clark, staring at his 20-something-year-old son being yelled at by his significant other of at least eight years.

"I told you you didn't have to come for me! It was dangerous!! I'm not worth you getting hurt when I'm basically indestructible! How many times do we have to have this argument?!"

Jon was frustrated, if it wasn't obvious enough. Something about their mission going off track, and of course, Damian was willing to risk his life just to make sure that Jon was okay. Though Clark didn't understand why Jon was frustrated, because he was pretty sure, without a doubt, that Jon would do the exact same thing if it was Damian.

"We will have this argument as many times as it takes for you to understand that I don't care. I don't care that you're indestructible. I don't care that you can fly and have super strength and can shoot lasers from your eyes. I. Do. Not. Care. Because you, Jonathan Kent, are worth everything to me, and for you to say that you're not is the most idiotic thing you can say to me. And trust me, you've said a lot of idiotic things to me."

Clark thought that for someone so short, Damian sure had a lot to yell about. All valid, though; Damian was definitely keeping his word when it came to protecting Jon no matter what. In fact, Clark was pretty sure if this had been him and Lois, she'd yell at him all the same.

And then that's when it hit him.

Clark watched his son make his way towards him, still frustrated. Damian had already walked away after saying what he needed to say.

"Tell me, please, am I in the wrong here? Like I get where he's coming from, but does he understand that I don't think I can live with myself knowing that he'd get hurt because of me..." Jon looked at his dad with genuine concern and worry.

"You know... Damian reminds me a lot of your mom."

Jon's expression quickly went from worry to confusion.

"What?"

"Pretty sure your mom would have yelled at me the exact same way. I think she would have yelled at you the exact same way too."

"I'm so confused..."

"I'm saying that right there was your mom."

Jon watched as his dad said that last part with a bright smile on his face.

And then it hit Jon.

It had always been there, and Jon knew; he'd always known that Damian reminded him of someone. The way that they both were so independent and strong-willed, determined and persistent, intellectually curious, instinctual, and intuitive. Both so passionate about making the world a better place. And their unconditional love for him. Damian was so much like his mom, and Jon couldn't believe he didn't recognize it sooner.

"Looks like you and I have the same type."

Clark chuckled, putting an arm around his son.

"Dad, please, I really don't want to hear this right now."

"Like father, like son!"

"Daaad..."

Jon groaned into his hands.

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Generative AI Is Bad For Your Creative Brain

In the wake of early announcing that their blog will no longer be posting fanfiction, I wanted to offer a different perspective than the ones I’ve been seeing in the argument against the use of AI in fandom spaces. Often, I’m seeing the arguments that the use of generative AI or Large Language Models (LLMs) make creative expression more accessible. Certainly, putting a prompt into a chat box and refining the output as desired is faster than writing a 5000 word fanfiction or learning to draw digitally or traditionally. But I would argue that the use of chat bots and generative AI actually limits - and ultimately reduces - one’s ability to enjoy creativity.

Creativity, defined by the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus, is the ability to produce or use original and unusual ideas. By definition, the use of generative AI discourages the brain from engaging with thoughts creatively. ChatGPT, character bots, and other generative AI products have to be trained on already existing text. In order to produce something “usable,” LLMs analyzes patterns within text to organize information into what the computer has been trained to identify as “desirable” outputs. These outputs are not always accurate due to the fact that computers don’t “think” the way that human brains do. They don’t create. They take the most common and refined data points and combine them according to predetermined templates to assemble a product. In the case of chat bots that are fed writing samples from authors, the product is not original - it’s a mishmash of the writings that were fed into the system.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a therapy modality developed by Marsha M. Linehan based on the understanding that growth comes when we accept that we are doing our best and we can work to better ourselves further. Within this modality, a few core concepts are explored, but for this argument I want to focus on Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation. Mindfulness, put simply, is awareness of the information our senses are telling us about the present moment. Emotion regulation is our ability to identify, understand, validate, and control our reaction to the emotions that result from changes in our environment. One of the skills taught within emotion regulation is Building Mastery - putting forth effort into an activity or skill in order to experience the pleasure that comes with seeing the fruits of your labor. These are by no means the only mechanisms of growth or skill development, however, I believe that mindfulness, emotion regulation, and building mastery are a large part of the core of creativity. When someone uses generative AI to imitate fanfiction, roleplay, fanart, etc., the core experience of creative expression is undermined.

Creating engages the body. As a writer who uses pen and paper as well as word processors while drafting, I had to learn how my body best engages with my process. The ideal pen and paper, the fact that I need glasses to work on my computer, the height of the table all factor into how I create. I don’t use audio recordings or transcriptions because that’s not a skill I’ve cultivated, but other authors use those tools as a way to assist their creative process. I can’t speak with any authority to the experience of visual artists, but my understanding is that the feedback and feel of their physical tools, the programs they use, and many other factors are not just part of how they learned their craft, they are essential to their art.

Generative AI invites users to bypass mindfully engaging with the physical act of creating. Part of becoming a person who creates from the vision in one’s head is the physical act of practicing. How did I learn to write? By sitting down and making myself write, over and over, word after word. I had to learn the rhythms of my body, and to listen when pain tells me to stop. I do not consider myself a visual artist - I have not put in the hours to learn to consistently combine line and color and form to show the world the idea in my head.

But I could.

Learning a new skill is possible. But one must be able to regulate one’s unpleasant emotions to be able to get there. The emotion that gets in the way of most people starting their creative journey is anxiety. Instead of a focus on “fear,” I like to define this emotion as “unpleasant anticipation.” In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown identifies anxiety as both a trait (a long term characteristic) and a state (a temporary condition). That is, we can be naturally predisposed to be impacted by anxiety, and experience unpleasant anticipation in response to an event. And the action drive associated with anxiety is to avoid the unpleasant stimulus.

Starting a new project, developing a new skill, and leaning into a creative endevor can inspire and cause people to react to anxiety. There is an unpleasant anticipation of things not turning out exactly correctly, of being judged negatively, of being unnoticed or even ignored. There is a lot less anxiety to be had in submitting a prompt to a machine than to look at a blank page and possibly make what could be a mistake. Unfortunately, the more something is avoided, the more anxiety is generated when it comes up again. Using generative AI doesn’t encourage starting a new project and learning a new skill - in fact, it makes the prospect more distressing to the mind, and encourages further avoidance of developing a personal creative process.

One of the best ways to reduce anxiety about a task, according to DBT, is for a person to do that task. Opposite action is a method of reducing the intensity of an emotion by going against its action urge. The action urge of anxiety is to avoid, and so opposite action encourages someone to approach the thing they are anxious about. This doesn’t mean that everyone who has anxiety about creating should make themselves write a 50k word fanfiction as their first project. But in order to reduce anxiety about dealing with a blank page, one must face and engage with a blank page. Even a single sentence fragment, two lines intersecting, an unintentional drop of ink means the page is no longer blank. If those are still difficult to approach a prompt, tutorial, or guided exercise can be used to reinforce the understanding that a blank page can be changed, slowly but surely by your own hand.

(As an aside, I would discourage the use of AI prompt generators - these often use prompts that were already created by a real person without credit. Prompt blogs and posts exist right here on tumblr, as well as imagines and headcannons that people often label “free to a good home.” These prompts can also often be specific to fandom, style, mood, etc., if you’re looking for something specific.)

In the current social media and content consumption culture, it’s easy to feel like the first attempt should be a perfect final product. But creating isn’t just about the final product. It’s about the process. Bo Burnam’s Inside is phenomenal, but I think the outtakes are just as important. We didn’t get That Funny Feeling and How the World Works and All Eyes on Me because Bo Burnham woke up and decided to write songs in the same day. We got them because he’s been been developing and honing his craft, as well as learning about himself as a person and artist, since he was a teenager. Building mastery in any skill takes time, and it’s often slow.

Slow is an important word, when it comes to creating. The fact that skill takes time to develop and a final piece of art takes time regardless of skill is it’s own source of anxiety. Compared to @sentientcave, who writes about 2k words per day, I’m very slow. And for all the time it takes me, my writing isn’t perfect - I find typos after posting and sometimes my phrasing is awkward. But my writing is better than it was, and my confidence is much higher. I can sit and write for longer and longer periods, my projects are more diverse, I’m sharing them with people, even before the final edits are done. And I only learned how to do this because I took the time to push through the discomfort of not being as fast or as skilled as I want to be in order to learn what works for me and what doesn’t.

Building mastery - getting better at a skill over time so that you can see your own progress - isn’t just about getting better. It’s about feeling better about your abilities. Confidence, excitement, and pride are important emotions to associate with our own actions. It teaches us that we are capable of making ourselves feel better by engaging with our creativity, a confidence that can be generalized to other activities.

Generative AI doesn’t encourage its users to try new things, to make mistakes, and to see what works. It doesn’t reward new accomplishments to encourage the building of new skills by connecting to old ones. The reward centers of the brain have nothing to respond to to associate with the action of the user. There is a short term input-reward pathway, but it’s only associated with using the AI prompter. It’s designed to encourage the user to come back over and over again, not develop the skill to think and create for themselves.

I don’t know that anyone will change their minds after reading this. It’s imperfect, and I’ve summarized concepts that can take months or years to learn. But I can say that I learned something from the process of writing it. I see some of the flaws, and I can see how my essay writing has changed over the years. This might have been faster to plug into AI as a prompt, but I can see how much more confidence I have in my own voice and opinions. And that’s not something chatGPT can ever replicate.

[utilitycaster]

I follow someone who peaced out of C3 like a month ago, and while she still throws out the occasional post about it, despite mostly running on ✨vibes✨ since pre-Predathos fight. one of her latest takes caught my attention. The wording was a little messy, but the core argument seemed like it might have a point. She’s saying the biggest issue with the story is a lack of internal logic, which makes the characters feel kind of disconnected from their own world and setting. Her main example was the Schism, like, the general idea that the Titans were bad news for mortals should be widely accepted, and they’re dead so they’re not coming back even if the gods leave. She also argues that the idea that the gods would always choose each other over mortals isn’t really backed up by history. Basically, she thinks Bells Hells ignore some of the fundamental structures of modern religion in Exandria, which in turn makes a lot of their arguments about the gods fall apart.

So I guess I’m wondering does it seem like there’s a lack of internal logic to you? C3 is my first campaign, so I’ve been piecing together older lore as I go, and I can’t tell if this is a niche take or if there’s some bigger context I’m missing.

Yes. Or rather, I have a couple of different guesses as to what happened. In short: I think that either Matt wanted to set up a big dilemma and failed to do the worldbuilding to really support it textually; he didn't have a clear vision of what this would be at all (HUGE fucking mistake, like, actually concerning me re: the potential of a 4th campaign level of mistake and I hope it's not that); or, alternately, and honestly right now my guess is that this was the case, he straight up did not think the characters would be such selfish dickbags and thought going in that this would be a clear "we have to stop Predathos" and intended the familial connections within the Vanguard and the scene in Hearthdell to be added nuance to provide some understanding of the Vanguard not as simply mindless evil monsters but people who have genuine grievances that have been exploited by predatory cult leaders, and was not prepared for a campaign where the party immediately took the Vanguard's side.

Religion in Exandria has never been super formalized or organized. Some of this is, of course, that you don't have to like, convert or even attend services if you have a relationship with a god. But as a result, it means that any exploration of religion as hegemonic falls apart. I am not saying religion needs to fit the regular daily or weekly practices many people irl have (depending on one's levels of observance), and those characters whose powers canonically involve a deity often do observe either restrictions (Caduceus's vegetarianism) or have some form of meditative personal worship, but we never see like, a system of worship outside of Vasselheim, and Vasselheim lacks the powers that the real-world pope has (let alone the medieval era pope). Tuldus was forced by his family to pray, but it's never depicted as part of How All Worshipers of That God are expected to behave. This is really the crux of a lot of problems with this campaign - people keep taking very individualized issues - which are real, but individual - and treating them as a sign of widespread oppression that simply isn't backed up by the text. In fact, the biggest case of widespread religiously-involved oppression is the Empire going after worshipers of illegal Prime Deities (as we see with the Schuesters - the parents are arrested, leaving their young children to fend for themselves) - and the biggest case of widespread proselytizing and missionary work is from the canonically theocratic (and ruled by one person for over a millennium) Kryn Dynasty, which, hilariously, might end up even more powerful given that the Luxon - the source of their religion, their philosophy and cultural practices, and their arcane prowess - has been brought up as relevant to the gods-become-mortal plan by the Raven Queen and seems to not be under any threat from Predathos, and might even get more powerful. Vasselheim's colonial efforts, while certainly not defensible, are small potatoes.

The player character's grievances against the gods all boil down to "I prayed to the gods and they didn't make my life better" while failing to consider that a combination of genuinely wild specific personal circumstances (being Ruidusborn; being the child of an elemental-worship cult with terrible instincts and later running a heist on a Vanguard collaborator; being a shadow sorcerer who caught the eye of an evil Vecna-worshipping wizard in need of a host body) are the root cause. It's like. If your parents kick you out for being gay, that's homophobia, but if your parents are part of a cult that blows itself up and you are orphaned as a result that is not systemic oppression, that is a very specific cult and shitty parents. So that fails to really ground them in the setting. Compare to campaign 2, where Caleb wants to ensure the Volstrucker program is brought to light and eliminated - as he says, no more children on the pyre - vs. here, where arguably Laudna and Ashton are opening the door to far more unregulated cult/evil necromancy shenanigans now entirely unmitigated by the gods. At least Imogen will probably end the Ruidusborn I guess, as a side effect completely unrelated to her actual goals (which are, frankly, unclear) In a campaign that talks about tethers, the characters seem untethered to anything - institution, place, even for the most part family, and only loosely to each other, and it shows in their lack of care.

The other part is that yeah, a lot of things that were given to the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina as "things people would know" aren't given to Bells Hells. Now this could have a mechanical basis, namely, no one has much of a formal education and most of them are also not terribly intelligent on their own. However, it does feel baffling that they can't recognize holy symbols, or don't know the story of the titans at the time of the Schism (which...setting aside the many issues with the concept of "history is written by the victors" which is both inconsistently true in the first place and is frequently used in an anti-intellectual manner to undermine historical study that points out such things as historical racism; just because history might be inaccurate that does not mean that wild speculation otherwise is necessarily true, especially since we do know from EXU Calamity that titans did, indeed, intend to side with the Betrayers against mortals at the start of the Calamity). It furthers this feeling, after Vox Machina being relatively educated even in a story that was not as worldbuilding-focused, and the Mighty Nein having multiple research-oriented characters and a party deeply rooted in a rich world, that Bells Hells feel off and adrift and ignorant, especially since they don't even seem to remember history they lived through such as the Apex War.

Honestly, what I think is most interesting actually is that we don't ever get anyone express a motivation based on structural oppression in-game. Ludinus never got over his parents dying in a war where the options for the Prime Deities were leave mortals to die or fight the Betrayers, knowing there will be devastating casualties, but in setting up his elaborate plot he murdered countless people, destroyed through his communing with Predathos the first rebuilt elven society in Western Wildemount, and participated in actual structural oppression within the Dwendalian empire for literal centuries; he cared not for any widespread liberation and would remain on top, as an archmage, after this imagined revolution, which makes it not much of a revolution worth having. Liliana's problems were caused by Predathos, and many of the Vanguard we see are Ruidusborn. The only other Vanguard we really get to talk to are Bor'Dor, who was oppressed on the basis of his religion and preyed upon by the cult; Tuldus, who see above; and various Paragon's Call members who are mostly just following orders and getting paid. And Bells Hells, when they have the audience of Vasselheim and the rest of the world - a golden opportunity to call out the colonialism - fail to bring up Hearthdell.

In the end, the motivations are all personal pain - in many cases, inflicted, in fact, by Predathos and not the gods - or vengeance. I honestly don't know if the narrative is trying to claim there is something deeper, or if it's simply some of the characters and a chunk of the least knowledgeable fans, but yes, the worldbuilding fails to support a morally complex narrative. It fails to debunk that which was established earlier (and indeed makes the fall of Aeor far more sympathetic than when it was introduced during Campaign 2) and fails to establish any widespread harm the gods did that wasn't the result of someone threatening to kill them. I do not think one can meaningfully debate with someone who puts a boot on your throat, presses down, and claims you're the oppressor when you fight back, nor with someone who argues along those lines, and that's all that fans and Bells Hells have ever done. And yeah we might actually make a world with a formalized hegemonic religion as a result of Bells Hells' actions; it just will be a different god, underscoring that this is either motivated by people who don't know what the fuck is going on; or by vengeance rather than justice.

[k1mbe3rly]

OK WE NEED A PART 3 OH THE SE-MI ANGST EXCEPT THEY MAKE UP AND GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AFTER LIKE ONE MORE ARGUMENT WHERE THEY REALIZE THEY BOTH JUST WANT EACH OTHER

anything for bbg, part 3 of that’s so true

Run my hands thru her short dark brown hair.

no warnings, LOWKEY kinda shorttt but it’s okay cause it’s a happy ending

After awhile, Se-mi managed to get the courage and follow you on instagram, she watched herself as her thumb pressed “Follow”, she figured if she reached out first it would mean something to you maybe?

But for you, you couldn’t stop thinking about her, you thought you had moved on for good but I guess your boyfriend was just a distraction sadly.

You thought about more than ever, why did she have to come to your job like that? what made her do that. You wish you could just restart everything as you got a notification, you grabbed your phone looking at it

“Se-mi started following you.”

You read as a small smile creaked up into your face but you quickly stopped remembering everything that had happened, you sighed as you clicked on the app debating to follow her back or not but without thinking you quickly followed her back, you groaned at yourself as you sulked in bed.

You closed your eyes thinking about everything until again another notification interrupted you, you looked at your phone once again as you quickly squealed out.

“Hey y/n..can we talk?”

Was all you read from your phone, she messaged you.. she actually messaged you, it’s crazy to think that SHE would reach out first.

You decided to be a little nonchalant and wait like 2 or 3 minutes before answering, you replied back with “Talk about what?” you simply texted her.

Not long after she sent you another message.

Se-mi: “About what happened, please?”

You: “I guess so..”

Se-mi: “Can we talk in person? I just feel like it’s better to do it in person.”

You: “Fine, where at?”

Se-mi: “My place? if not it’s fine we can always go in public”

You: “No it’s okay i’ll be there in a few”

She hearted your message, as you smiled and let out a breath of relief.

You quickly got up and tried to put something cute, you than drove to her house excitedly as you parked infront of it, but before you went in you took a deep breath making sure you had a nonchalant face not wanting to ruin your cold don’t act.

You knocked on her door as she opened it quickly, “You actually came..” She said with a slight smile, All you did was nod at her as she opened the door wider gesturing you to come in, you walked in everything still familiar.

“Uh let’s go to the couch, do you want a drink or something?” She said, “No i’m fine” you replied, “Uhh i have your favorite?” she smiled a bit at you hoping to cheer you up just a bit, “I’m good.” You said a bit coldly as she sighed a bit and nodded.

Yall went and sat down on her couch which was always comfy but yet you were not going to give in just yet.

“So what did you wanna talk about?” you told her looking at her for a bit.

“I just wanna talk about us..i wanna fix this”

“What is there to fix?” you said back still not breaking your cold act.

“I know what I did was wrong and i regret it.. i really do, and i’m really sorry..I guess I just wanted to act cool infront of..that girl. By embarrassing you and I take back every word I said.” she said boldly as she stared into your eyes.

You stared back at her your gaze softened at her apology wanting to forgive her but not yet.

“Se-mi, i don’t know if I could forgive yo-.” you begin speaking but before you could finish she quickly spoke again.

“I know it’s hard to forgive me but i really am sorry! You have to understand that ever since that day i’ve been thinking about you and I feel so terrible about what i told you and if I could i’ll take it all back! i just wanna start over with you.” she said, “Your honestly everything I want.. and I know i didn’t act like it before but you really are! that night when you confessed to me..i was in denial i really was! but after our second argument just something inside me snapped.. i’m not sure what or even how it happen but y/n..i like you!” she yelled out basically, not once she broke eye contact, this whole time she’s been saying all this, she’s been staring at you.

You were at lost of words as you kinda stared back, you felt your cheeks feel hot as a small shiver ran down your spine, you finally spoke up.

“You like me..?”

Se-mi quickly nodded as she scooted to you a bit more, “And if it’s okay..can i do something?” she said as you turned your head for a moment then looked at her and nodded.

She leaned her head towards yours and kissed you.

You were frozen, you didn’t kiss back or even close your eyes, you sat there feeling her lips on yours, honestly your dream since you probably first met her but you finally came back to your senses and quickly backed up leaving her a bit shocked as she looked at you and gave you a small distance.

“Se-mi..i have a.. boyfriend” you told her, “Fuck..right i forgot, im sorry-.” she said as you cut her off.

You kissed her, she was shocked at first but quickly melted into the kiss, her hands going to your cheeks and rubbing her thumb a bit, lips moving in sync as you finally pulled back, she smiled at you and put her forehead against yours.

“So i’ll take that as you still like me?” she whispered to you as you just nodded, “And your boyfriend?” she spoke again, you sighed “I’ll have to break up with him obviously..” you told her.

“I don’t wanna rush things but..would you maybeeee wanna be my girlfriend? obviously after you break up with him! i mean i totally understand if you want a break!” she said quickly, “Just shut up.. and yes, i’ll be your girlfriend after i break up with him” you told her as you smiled and giggled a bit, she laughed a bit and hugged you as you hugged her back.

And boom just like that, yall started dating.

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | five.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, smut

—WORD COUNT: 9k

—CHAPTER CONTENT / WARNINGS: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, crying, chapter is pretty heavily papa-focused, mentions of illness, the talk happens!!, crying, bbygirl is sad and exhausted but wooyoung tries his best, yes im sorry i had to reference the howl/wooyoung thing, small sweet kisses and affectionate acts, very brief mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication / hangovers, also very brief mentions of wooyoung's past again, more jiwoo vs. wooyoung (bickering not actual arguments lol), lots of apologies from jiwoo lol sorry if i missed anything!

Something's wrong, and Wooyoung can't figure it out. It's bothering him. As much as he's trying to respect your space, he can't help but worry about you. Especially when you haven't returned any of his texts or calls. He was expecting something, anything by now, so he can't help himself when he sends another text—

wooyoung: are you at work?

you: i'm about to head home.

You only respond because even though you aren't quite ready to face him regarding all of this yet, you don't wanna worry him unnecessarily. But, it still does anyway. Why aren't you at work?

And maybe, he should've asked if it was okay to see you first. It's the anxiety, the panic, within him that isn't letting him rest. He just needed to see you and make sure you were okay after everything that went down. His sister could be a piece of work, and you didn't necessarily have Yeosang to lean onto. Truthfully, you wouldn't be mad if he actually showed up at your door step. He is the comfort you need as much as you'd hate to admit it right now. At the same time, it'd make you a little more sad though, more confused. 

Lo and behold, when you get home from the long night in the hospital, Wooyoung is leaning against the rail; waiting right by your doorstep. You don't question why he's not at work either, but you feel a sense of relief come over you seeing him there. A sense of relief mixed with nervousness. He doesn't say a word, simply cause he's trying to read you. He's trying to figure out if he's the reason why you look so low and tired. If it's his sister, Yeosang. All of the above.

"I don't really have time to talk about this, Wooyoung—" Is all you mutter as you unlock your door and step in.

"Then, we don't have to talk about it right now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He slips in and slowly kicks off his shoes, watching the way you drag yourself towards your closet. You're not sure why that's enough to trigger you, but you find yourself starting to tear up. Exhaustion hitting you tough, sadness stemming deep from your gut. Wooyoung can tell, and even if you're trying to be incredibly sneaky about it, he can still hear you quietly sniffing away. "Y/N." He says, forcing you to pause your movements as you continue to cry. "What is it? Whatever it is, let me help."

"Wooyoung, please just go. I need to go back."

"Go back where?" 

"The hospital." You mutter softly.

"The hospital?" He furrows his brows. "Wait, what's going on? Why are you shutting me out?"

"That's a bold question to ask after that everything that's happened." Fuck, Wooyoung thinks. Don't be fucking stupid, Wooyoung.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just—" He pauses, watching as you pack things in your bag before setting it aside and grabbing a new change of clothes. "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Y/N." He calls you again, and you take this moment to look him in the eye. Everything within you wants to cave when you see him looking down at you the way he is, hand gently tugging at your wrist. He's basically pleading through his eyes, and the only reason why you continue with your next response is because he actually looks like he means it.

"Papa's in the hospital." You softly say.

"W-what?" He stutters. "What happened? He got worse?"

"Kidney infection." Wooyoung sighs. "He's been hiding it, but he's been feeling more than just being tired. The pain got really bad. Super sudden and sharp. He almost went into sepsis cause of the fever he had."

"Shit. Is he okay now?"

"He's stable." You try to brush past him to quickly wash up and change, but he blocks your path.

"Let me take you." You try to move past, yet you're still unsuccessful.

"Wooyoung." 

"I'll take you back—"

"Stop it. I don't need you to. I don't need you to do anything for me. I can handle it." Your response almost makes him flinch. Truthfully, he knows he deserves it. He knows it shouldn't have taken him this long to talk to you, to reach out to you. So, he knows. He's fully aware. It doesn't make it sting less, though.

"I fucked up. I acknowledge that and I'm sorry. There's so many things I can tell you when the time is right. But, for now, please don't shut me out and do this alone. I wanna be here for you." He pauses, every inch of his heart slowly shattering the more he sees the tears constantly staining your cheeks. "Please let me be here for you." You nibble on your bottom lip, shifting your attention away from Wooyoung as you wipe at your tears and try to suck it all up, try to regain composure. Before Wooyoung can even reach out to wipe the stragglers away, you step around him and lock yourself in the bathroom, leaving Wooyoung in the middle of your living room area. You give yourself a good 15 minutes to freshen up and change before meeting him outside again. He sits on the arm of your couch, patiently waiting.

"I just need to grab a few more things."

"Do you need me to help pack some stuff up?"

"It's okay." You pack some clothes and the rest of your necessities in case you'll be able to stay the night again, though you know it's probably a long shot. You hate having to be away from Papa, and now [even more than ever], you feel the need to keep him close. You feel the need to make up for not being there when he needed you the most; the guilt eating you alive.

Once you've finished, you grab yourself a bottle of water and turn to Wooyoung who is now waiting for you near the door. He gives you a small, toothless smile, gently grabbing your bag from you before leading the way out of your studio and to the car.

The drive is so, so incredibly quiet, but Wooyoung understands you need this more than anything right now. The only time he spoke a word was when he asked you which hospital you needed to go to. Otherwise, he let you sit in your peace. He'd look over from time to time, itching to hold your hand, kiss your hand or gently massage your head as a way to affectionately reassure you that things would be okay. Instead, he looks back out to the road and adjusts the heat a bit to make sure you're warm enough— hoping it's enough to provide comfort from a distance.

"You sure you don't wanna stop by for food or coffee? Anything? You should eat."

"I can just eat at the hospital."

"Mmkay." Wooyoung says, pulling into the hospital and straight towards the parking garage. When he pulls into a spot on the second floor and shuts off the car, he immediately steps out to grab your things from the trunk. You walk alongside of him towards the main entrance, checking in with the front desk before slapping on your visitor stickers and heading down the hall. It's quite the journey of twists and turns before you get to Papa's room, and a sense of relief washes over you when you finally arrive. He's sleeping in his bed, TV on to one of his favorite cooking shows.

"Papa." You gently rub at his arm to wake him. He looks up at you with sleepy eyes, mustering all his energy to smile back at you and Wooyoung.

"Y/N, Wooyoung."

"How're you feeling?" Wooyoung asks.

"Better. Not the best yet, but better." Wooyoung nods before turning his attention to you. "Why don't you go eat? I'll stay with Papa." Wooyoung looks at you sympathetically. You simply nod in response, tugging Papa's blanket up before you let him know you'll be stepping out for a few minutes.

"Papa, do you need anything right now?" He shakes his head. "I'll be back then, okay? I'm going to get food." Papa nods sleepily. "Wooyoung is here." You turn back to Wooyoung, who is now sitting in the chair next to his bed. "Want anything?"

"I'm good." He gives you a pursed smile, watching you walk out of the room and down to the cafeteria on the other end of the first floor. After grabbing some toast, a bit of egg and bacon, you order a latte to go with your food. You sit at a table near the window and slowly eat away, scrolling through social media and stumbling upon Jiwoo and Hongjoong's pictures. You like all of them, though the two of you hadn't really talked much since the fight, since she left. Despite all of the commotion, you still sent her a text wishing her a safe trip, in which she replied with a heart reaction. 

You left it at that.

It was hurtful, and you were sad you and Jiwoo were like this. But, you were still optimistic that the two of you would return to your usual ways soon. Besides, you still needed to figure out what was going on between you and Wooyoung.

All of this was a mess.

You feel your bottom lip tremble and you press the back of your finger flat beneath your nose to try and prevent yourself from crying in the cafeteria. When you feel the wave pass, you let out a shaky breath before focusing on finishing your food. Meanwhile, Wooyoung continues to watch the TV while Papa lays next to him, in and out of sleep. At least, that's what he thought until Papa breaks the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

"Wooyoungie." Papa is barely able to make out, his voice hoarse and tired. Wooyoung is surprised to see him awake right now, only being able to imagine how tired he is.

"Mhm?" Wooyoung tugs his blanket up a little more on the side, returning his attention back up to Papa's face afterwards.

"Take care of my Y/N, hm?" He smiles softly. "My body isn't what it used to be. I'm afraid it'll only get weaker, and at some point, my time will come." Wooyoung's heart drops hearing the statement fall from Papa's lips, though, when he faces the reality, it's only the truth. "Take care of her. Please don't leave her alone."

"I will. I promise I won't leave her side, okay?" Papa lets out a content breath, resting his head back against the pillow. "Although, I think I might've messed up with her."

"You didn't." He pulls another tired smile.

"Pretty sure I did." Wooyoung licks his lips. "I was being stupid."

"You needed time, I assume. It happens to the best of us." 

"Did she.. tell you everything?" Wooyoung asks, afraid of the details Papa might know. And he knows, to some extent. You did tell him that dinner with Yeosang was terrible. You did tell him that you drank a little too much after, that you accidentally texted Wooyoung instead of Jiwoo. You did tell him things 'kinda' escalated. 

And then you apologized profusely while you cried at his bedside for not being there because you got into a fight with Jiwoo over the whole thing with Wooyoung. You cried your sorries nonstop; Papa didn't even know what was more painful to endure: you breaking down and sobbing, or his kidneys going outta wack.

—FLASHBACK

"Papa?" You step inside his apartment and slip out of your shoes, a small smile on your face when you see him watering his plants out on his balcony.

"Hey, there she is." He laughs a bit, putting down his watering pot before placing an arm on his lower back. "Was just watering my plants." He winces a bit as he steps inside and plops onto the couch.

"You okay?"

"Ah, my lower back's been bothering me, but it's not too big of a deal. Probably just need to exercise and stretch more."

"You sure? We can go to the hospital just to get it checked out."

"No, no. No need." He sits back and smiles up at you. "I am sure."

"Okay. I'll brew us some tea? I got us a few pastries from your favorite café." You sit the box down on his coffee table and pop it open, revealing a matcha cream pastry and a fruit danish with seasonal berries [which is Papa's favorite].

"Sounds good. Thank you." You smile at him and start heating up some water before seeping bags of green tea. Papa lets out a content sigh as he flips through his TV and starts watching the news while you prep. "So, wanna tell me how dinner with Yeosang went?" You briefly pause, hearing the electric kettle click and automatically shut off. You take two mugs out from his cabinet and pour the tea into each before dipping the green tea bags. You set them aside for another 3 minutes, grabbing two small plates and utensils for the pastries.

"Well, to be straightforward, it was awkward and terrible."

"Awkward and terrible. That bad?"

"I don't even know if we'll even go back to being the same, Papa."

"I'm sure you will. Just give it some time. It's all fresh so it'll feel weird for a little bit." He looks at you and observes the way you avoid eye contact with him, even while you cut the pastries in half. 

"Mhm." You hum.

"Something else happen?"

"Why do you say that?" You pass him his plate and utensils, still avoiding eye contact.

"You're avoiding your old man." He chuckles and you briefly look at him before shaking your head and returning your attention to the matcha cream pastry on your plate. "You were never a liar, so it's easy to tell when you're not exactly telling the truth and covering up."

"I don't know."

"You can tell me when you're ready."

"I am ready. I just don't know how to say it."

"You know I'd never judge you."

"I know, I know." You sit back on your knees before looking up at him. "Hm. After the dinner, I went to the convenience store near my house and drank some soju to get my mind off of dinner with Yeosang. Plus, I dunno, I didn't feel as satisfied so I grabbed some snacks. I got a pretty tipsy again and ended up accidentally texting Wooyoung instead of Jiwoo. He came to my rescue. We hung out at my apartment and um." Your bottom lip pokes out. "Things kinda just.. happened." Papa nods slowly.

"Ahhh." The response is somewhat elongated.

"I know, it's awful."

"No, it's not. But, why do you seem sad or upset about it?"

"Because I dunno where this leads us. We haven't talked. I haven't even told Jiwoo yet either and I know she won't take it well. That'll probably ruin our friendship, too." You sigh. "I'm just losing my friends one by one."

"Don't say that. They love you and care for you as much as you do. Fights will happen but it won't compare to the strong foundations you've built." He pauses. "Where do you want the whole thing with Wooyoung to lead you?" You shrug.

"Is it dumb to say that I like Wooyoung? It all started from the party and—" You let out a frustrated sigh. "I know he probably doesn't feel the same." And that's the issue for you.

"You don't know that. Maybe he needed time to form his thoughts, Y/N." You look at Papa blankly. "People who have feelings will often need time to form their words. It's too deep for them to understand quickly so they dissect carefully. Especially if they don't wanna mess things up. Give him some time before you overthink and start jumping to conclusions. Can you do that for me? Wooyoung wouldn't just leave you without answers like that."

"I guess, ya." Is all you say, shaking it off before you start crying in front of him. "Anyway, tea is ready. I'll go grab it and we can watch your favorite movies?"

"Sounds good to me." He chuckles a bit, though deep down he is a little worried about you. Himself. He's been feeling off lately, and after this, the last thing he wants to do is worry you more. 

He just hopes whatever he's been feeling will pass so it'll be one less thing on your plate.

—END

"She didn't have to tell me specifics." Wooyoung nods. "Do you find yourself feeling any different about her now that time has passed? You can tell me and it'll be safe between us."

"I like her. A lot." He does a slight head tilt. "Wouldn't blame her if she didn't feel the same, though. I handled it poorly."

"My girl's got a big heart." Papa chuckles a bit. "I know she feels the same about you, or else she wouldn't have been sulking over it." He lightly teases, making the heat rise to Wooyoung's cheeks. "Just promise me you'll take care of it. You'll take care of her?"

"I'm sorry. It was my fault in the first place. But, you have my word. I will. I'm gonna make things right after this."

"I trust you." Papa holds out his hand for Wooyoung to take, and he does. He holds it tightly, giving it a squeeze.

"For now, she still needs you, too. Promise me you'll take care of yourself?"

"I know, I should, huh? Might need you to be my personal trainer." Wooyoung laughs a bit.

"I think you're stronger and way more knowledgeable than me."

"Should we arm wrestle when I get a little better?"

"Sure, I'll let you hurt my feelings just once. I deserve it." Papa laughs just before shutting his eyes to rest again. The nurse comes in to give Papa his breakfast and meds, greeting Wooyoung as she sets it up on the table. As soon as she instructs Papa to eat his porridge and take his medicine right after, you walk in and greet her with a small smile on your face. You speak to her to check on any new updates regarding Papa and she reassures you that everything seems to be fine. If he continues to improve and remain stable within the next day or two, she thinks he can go home sooner than later.

"Do you think I can stay here again with him tonight?" You're holding a pastry in a bag and a cold, bottled americano for Wooyoung in your hands. "I-I just don't know if I can leave him alone here." The nurse looks at you sympathetically and shakes her head, her hand on your wrist.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could bend the rules even more for you, but we can't allow visitors to stay for another night. I promise he's in good hands, okay? And as soon as the morning comes, you're more than welcome to come back." You sigh and nod, trying to be understanding of the rules. You knew this would be the outcome, but mentally preparing ahead of time doesn't make you any less sad. Nervous. Anxious.

"No, it's okay. I understand. Thank you." She gives you another sympathetic smile.

"Call me if you need anything, okay? I'm here until visiting hours end tonight." You nod, watching as she walks out, leaving the three of you in the room. You hand Wooyoung his food and drink, pulling the table with Papa's food and medicine over.

"You didn't have to."

"You should eat, too." You look at him before looking at the food and unwrapping it. "Papa, you ready to eat? You gotta take your medicine soon so you can sleep a little more."

"I could eat." You chuckle a bit while Wooyoung helps him sit up properly. 

After Papa eats and drinks his medicine, he continues to fall in and out of sleep due to the exhaustion from everything that happened over the past day and overnight. The pain seems to be managed well, and the treatment plan that the doctor has him on seems to be working. It was caught at a time before things could get too deep and severely irreversible, so you're grateful for that despite the pain Papa had gone through. In between his naps, you and Wooyoung would talk about the show on TV or go on quick walks around the hospital before coming back to the room. The only time Wooyoung leaves your side is to briefly buy some food at the convenience store across the street, grabbing you an egg salad sandwich and some iced tea per your request, and grabbing himself a few other snacks in case you wanted some, too.

Which, as he expected, you ended up stealing his chips and mochi. You only left him with a bite of his favorite strawberry mochi, but he couldn't even be mad when you looked at him with wide-eyes, powder around your lips after taking the majority of the damn thing into your mouth. All he could do was sigh, suppressing the want to tease you and tickle you until you surrender [or kick him in the balls accidentally, whichever comes first].

When evening hits, you make sure Papa gets a good amount of his dinner in before taking his medication and drinking lots of water. It hurts you to leave him alone for the night, but you know he'll be coming home soon and you'll be able to spend as much time as possible with him then. You squeeze his hand and hold back your tears, reassuring him you'll be back in the morning before dragging yourself out of his room when visiting hours ends. Wooyoung trails behind, hand rubbing at your back gently as he guides you back to the car.

The ride back home is equally as silent as the drive over to the hospital, and Wooyoung is having trouble figuring out when he can talk to you about everything going on between you and him. No time ever feels like the right time, but Wooyoung knows he has to do this instead of pushing it off even more. 

"Wooyoung?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for driving me and for staying with me today." 

"It's nothing."

"It's a lot, and I really appreciate it." He looks over with a tiny smile before pulling up to your street. It's obvious Wooyoung wants to say more and you know what it is, but the assumption doesn't get solidified until he breaks the silence again; you're not entirely sure how to feel with where this is going.

Anxious? Afraid of what he might actually say to you about everything?

"Y/N." Wooyoung calls for you just as he parks his car and shuts it off. "Can we talk now please? It probably won't feel like the right time, but I'd really like to before the night ends. I don't want another day to pass like this." You look at him, hand tugging on the sleeve of your sweater as you nod.

"Okay." Wooyoung looks at you and gives you a small smile.

"Let me start off by saying I'm sorry about the way things happened. I was fucking stupid and I shouldn't have left you that morning. Truthfully, I just didn't know how to put my feelings into words because it's never been this way for me. I know it sounds cliché, but I really don't know how else to explain it. I just.. I like you. A lot. I have a lot of feelings for you and it was scary for me because it happened quick, and I wasn't sure if you felt the same. I know I should've just said it to avoid all of this in the first place, but clearly I'm bad at it." He chuckles nervously before shaking his head. "Um, anyway—I'm rambling. I'm sorry." He repeats, soft dark brown eyes on you. "Point is, I like you and there's nothing else I've been more sure of. I hope I didn't mess this up already, but I'd understand if you wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't treat you the way you should have been treated that morning, and I'm sorry for making you feel that way in the first place." His voice falls lowly, Wooyoung trying to stomach his nervousness for your response. He watches as you fiddle with your fingers before you look up at him.

"I appreciate the apology. I'm not gonna lie, it was hurtful Wooyoung. And it didn't make it any better that your sister was in my face with the 'i told you so.'" You sigh.

"I'm sorry, I know. That was never my intention, Y/N. And if you wanna do this with me, we can take this slow so that I can show you. Because I never wanna make you feel that way again."

"I feel the same way and I do want this with you, Wooyoung. I'm just scared."

"I know, and that's completely valid. But, I promise you that you can trust me to take care of you from here on out, okay? We don't have to rush into anything and just take it as it comes. But, I'm here with you no matter what. Nothing will change that." You slowly nod, the feelings slightly becoming overwhelming. 

"Okay." Is all you respond with. You're feeling happy, relieved, but also scared, anxious. It might just be everything that's been happening with Papa, but it feels good to know you aren't entirely alone. Because even if you didn't wanna admit it before, you were afraid of being alone. Despite your friends being with you over the years, there was always a sense of loneliness that was hidden in the corner of your mind. Loneliness without your parents. Loneliness without a person, your person. You tried not to look at it this way because you weren't really lacking anywhere and still had love coming from different avenues. But, you also can't lie and say you didn't think about it and how it'd feel to have your parents, or someone to call yours genuinely and wholly.

"And Jiwoo.." Wooyoung does a slight head tilt. "I won't apologize on her behalf, but whatever she said about me, I can't lie and say it isn't true. You know I haven't been the best in the past, but you mean more to me than that and I'm trying to do better this time around. It's not gonna be perfect but know that I'm trying." He lets out a breath. "She'll come around soon, too. I know you're worried about her. You know how Jiwoo is."

"I hope so."

"I'll try and talk to her."

"It's okay. I think I just need to sit her down and open up to her about all of this." He nods.

"We're okay then?"

"Yeah." You manage to push the rest of your feelings back momentarily when Wooyoung leans over to place a chaste kiss on your forehead. For a second, things do feel okay.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs. Been a long day for you." You nod. Wooyoung grabs your bag from the trunk, following closely behind you as you walk up to your studio. You still seem rather quiet and although he's happy the talk is done with and you two are okay, he can tell something else is bothering you. It isn't long before he finds out because as soon as you enter your studio, you let out a heavy sigh and drop your purse to the floor. You stand in the center, suddenly breaking down into your hands when the feeling gets immensely overwhelming, almost unbearable.

"Y/N." Wooyoung says, close to a whisper. He comes from behind and gently wraps his arms around you before turning you to face him. He pries your hands away from your face, thumbs softly coming to wipe your tears away. "Baby, hey. It's gonna be okay." He shushes you as you rest against his chest, crying and wetting his shirt. "Baby." He repeats at a whisper, shushing and cooing you in his arms. "What is it? What's bothering you?" He tenderly kisses your tears away, thumb caressing your cheeks while he looks at you with a small frown on his face.

"What if they didn't get there in time, Woo? What if he had been one minute late—" Wooyoung tuts and rests against the back of the couch, pulling you in between his legs. He continues to wipe your tears away, shaking his head.

"But, none of that happened, okay? None of that happened. You don't need to worry about that because he's still here. He's recovering and you've been there with him every step of the way. That's all that matters. He's gonna get better, he already is. He'll be better tomorrow and the next day, and so on." You sigh, looking at him before nodding. 

"I can't lose him right away."

"You won't. I promise. He's still strong and he'll get through this." He brushes the hair away from your face. "It's gonna be okay." He repeats.

"Sorry."

"Don't be, love. Why don't you get comfortable, hm? We can hang out here and watch another Studio Ghibli movie."

"Will you stay?" You ask him softly, watching as he presses a kiss to the surface of your hand.

"Of course I will, Y/N. I'm just gonna grab some stuff from my place, but I'll make it quick and come back."

"Okay." You answer, voice dipping close to a whisper. Wooyoung pulls you closer, pressing a light kiss to your lips before standing. As you grab your pajamas, Wooyoung gets a hot shower started for you, tossing a bit of your lavender epsom salt onto the shower floor to help relax you. He reassures you again that he'll be quick before shutting the bathroom door and heading out. You give yourself time to just be under the hot water, letting it ease and relax your body while you cry out all your worries and concerns— letting them all go so that you can find some peace for the time being.

Maybe the universe will take the rest into its own hands.

After taking your time in the shower, you step out and do your nightly routine— carefully lathering the lotion across your body before working on your skincare. You throw on your red flannel pajama shorts and step into a vintage Disneyland crewneck before walking out to light up some candles and search for a good movie. It's not until about 15 mins later that Wooyoung comes through the door, holding a brown bag in hand; duffle bag slung on his shoulder while he's also [apparently] sporting red flannel pajamas and a black Stussy hoodie.

"Copycat." Wooyoung points to your red flannel pajamas as you watch him show you his own hiding underneath his sweats.

"Excuse, I threw these on first."

"What if I got to my apartment before you stepped out?" Wooyoung cocks a brow up, making you roll your eyes in return. He snorts and rushes to hold you from behind, kissing you on the cheek. "It does look better on you, though."

"I thought so." He chuckles a bit before pointing at the bag. "So, I might've made a pitstop to the McDonald's drive-thru because I was craving a shrimp burger and some fries. I got you the chicken sandwich. With a side order for their special sauce?" He says in a questioning tone. "And fries!"

"How'd you remember?"

"Please, I've only had to do the order for you and Jiwoo a million times over the years." You giggle.

"Thank you, Woo." He sets his bag down and slips out of his sweats to walk around in his flannel pajamas before coming over to you in the living room.

"No problem." He points at your hair. "You can get sick." He crinkles his forehead at you before walking into your bathroom and grabbing your hair dryer hanging off of the organizer you have. He takes one of your wide-toothed combs and plops back onto the couch.

"Wooyoung." You look at him as you take the food out of the bag and set it on the coffee table. "You don't have to dry my hair."

"Well, I know you won't and I don't want you to get sick. I don't mind. Come." He pats the area in between his legs. Once you've set the empty bag aside, he sits you in between his legs before plugging the dryer into your extension cord. He switches it to the low heat setting, taking the blow dryer to your hair as he gently combs through. You set the TV onto Howl's Moving Castle, picking at your fries as Wooyoung continues to patiently dry your hair. "You can eat." He says over the noise. You hold up a fry for him to take in his mouth, continuing his motions until your hair is mostly dry, a few strands still damp but not too wet. "There." He says, shutting it off and gently combing through your hair.

"Thank you." He chuckles before neatly tying the cord the way you had it done earlier and slipping out from behind you to put it back in the bathroom. You've moved back onto the couch with your burger box in hand, pressing play to the movie as Wooyoung sits down.

"Yoooo." He smiles. "This is one of my favorites!" You look at him with your eyes squinted. "What?"

"You know, since you started growing out your hair, I knew you looked like someone but I could never put my finger on who exactly. And now it makes sense."

"What?" He repeats.

"You look like Howl." He blushes and does his high-pitched giggle, making you snort in response.

"You mean that?"

"Shut up. You just wanna hear it."

"I do." He pouts.

"I'll change it."

"I mean go for it, you can always look at him here on your couch." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Wooyoung." You whine, flipping to Grave of the Fireflies.

"Baby." It's his turn to whine. He'd probably kick his feet and cry about it if he truly wanted to. "Why'd you turn it?! I heard this is hella sad!"

"Then, we'll cry together this time! A core bonding moment." You press play.

"Sassy." He looks at you. "I just wanna remind you that you ate my favorite mochi earlier." Wooyoung reminds you and you sigh.

"I already said sorry!" He laughs.

"I'm just teasing."

"Do you really not wanna watch this?"

"No, I do! I don't mind. I just thought the reminder would help since hours passed." You roll your eyes.

"I'm just gonna buy you another one tomorrow." 

"I'm kidding. Honestly." Wooyoung laughs. "You know what I could take instead?" You cock a brow up.

"Dare I even answer?"

"Too late, I'll take that as an answer." He puckers his lips. "I'll never bring it up again." He says in between. You giggle and succumb to his wants, quickly pecking him on the lips that leaves him smiling in a daze. "I'll never get tired of that." You shake your head and press play, the both of you finally eating away at your food as the movie gets on to a start without interruptions. 

You finish your food within the first 15 minutes, not realizing how hungry you were for good, sloppy comfort food. Wooyoung surprisingly remains quiet for a majority, only making noises and reacting to specific scenes. Eventually, the food coma hits you and you find yourself switching positions until you're snuggled up to Wooyoung. He takes the outer end of the couch while you lay on his chest from the inside. The blanket you leave hanging on the arm of the couch is now draped over you two, Wooyoung's arm around you to keep you close. When the movie hits the last 20 minute mark, Wooyoung starts spilling out his thoughts, but finds that your responses get more and more delayed as time goes on.

"Mhm." You answer late, causing Wooyoung to look down at you. You're damn near falling asleep on him, and it doesn't help that Wooyoung feels incredibly warm. Comfortable. He laughs a bit to himself before gently shaking your shoulder and pressing another kiss to your forehead.

"Falling asleep there?"

"Just wanna rest my eyes for like.. 5 minutes." You mumble, with Wooyoung carrying on to finish the rest of the movie by himself. Suddenly, his phone starts vibrating on the coffee table, making him swoop it up in a haste to avoid waking you up from your so-called 5-min nap.

"Ay!" Wooyoung rests the phone on his ear, regretting it as soon as San's loud ass voice comes through on the other end.

"The fuck are you so loud for?" Wooyoung says lowly, hoping this doesn't wake you.

"Kinda drunk. Wanna head out? We're gonna head to the bars!"

"Uh, nah." Wooyoung looks down while you shift in your position, snugging closer to him. "I'm good."

"What?" San laughs. "You're turning down bar hopping? For what?"

"Just cause. Plus, it's the weekday. You're gonna be so fucked tomorrow."

"Wow, that's new." San snorts. "Are you with Y/N or something?"

"Yeah. She's asleep."

"So, you won't even head out for a bit while she's asleep?"

"No, dude. I'm not gonna leave her." There's a silence that falls between them before San is clearing his throat.

"I get it. Okay then! Well, we'll be at our usuals if you change your mind."

"Probably not. But, have fun and be safe." 

"Thanks!" He says before he mumbles something to the rest of the group and hangs up the call. Wooyoung wraps up the movie and switches it to a college basketball documentary that's playing on the TV, only making it about 15 minutes more before he finds himself getting sleepy.

"Y/N." Wooyoung calls for you before he can fall asleep completely. "Let's get ready for bed so we can sleep." You let out a small whine before rubbing at your face, sitting up as Wooyoung follows suit. You sleepily waddle over to the bathroom to brush and floss your teeth with one eye barely open. You quickly check the clock outside, seeing that it's only about 11pm but it feels late. You feel exhausted. Wooyoung is tossing the trash away before wiping down your coffee table, shutting off the TV before grabbing his things from his bag. You quickly pee and wash your hands before walking over to the bed and letting Wooyoung take over the bathroom. 

The entire studio is dark at this point besides the bathroom light seeping from under the door in the corner, and for once, the dark doesn't seem so frightening, so lonely. 

So cold.

For once, the dark is soothing, is peaceful. For once, the dark is warmth because Wooyoung will be there no matter which direction you turn. You crawl under your covers, scooting towards the inside of your bed to make room for Wooyoung. He takes about 10 minutes before he shuts off the light and heads over to join you. He sheds off his hoodie and tosses it aside, slipping under the covers in his pajama pants and white tee. You continue to face him as he settles, his hand coming to your side to pull you a little closer.

"Wooyoung."

"Yeah, babygirl?"

"You know you don't have to stay at the hospital tomorrow, right? I'd be okay if you just dropped me off." He shakes his head.

"No, I don't mind. I'll stay."

"You sure?" You yawn.

"Mhm. I want to."

"You're gonna be so fired." He laughs.

"I've got hours, don't worry."

"Thank you."

"Stop thanking me, love. I'm only trying to take care of you properly." You sleepily smile at him while he kisses the tip of your nose. "We should probably sleep since we need to be up early tomorrow." You nod, his hand giving your side a squeeze. You initiate the kiss this time, feeling comfortable yet bold enough to give him a goodnight kiss. He holds it for a second longer before parting, chasing after your lips quickly after. You giggle when he starts to repeatedly kiss you and smiling into the kiss, almost having trouble prying himself off of you. "Okay, okay." He laughs. "Goodnight, pretty girl."

"Goodnight, Woo." You welcome yourself into his arms and almost fall asleep immediately, his arms feeling like home to you.

The next morning comes, and you and Wooyoung are off to the hospital about 30-mins after visiting hours begin. You found it hard to sleep fully throughout the night, anxious and scared a call from the hospital would come through about changes in Papa's status. But, thankfully, none of the sort happened, and Wooyoung did his best to keep you comfortable throughout the night by whispering his reassurances against your head.

Through sweet, gentle touches and squeezes. 

To your relief, Papa looks brighter and more alert when you walk in. He's already slowly going through his oatmeal, the morning news on the TV screen. He smiles when he sees the both of you walk in, loosely hand-in-hand. You happily walk over to Papa and hug him, sitting on the edge of his bed while you place a hand on his forehead.

"How'd you sleep?" You ask, his temp feeling way better than the past days.

"Good! I was in a deep sleep." You laugh.

"No pain or anything?" He shakes his head. "Good. Everything seems to be working. You might be outta here tomorrow!"

"I just might." He chuckles. "The nurse said she was gonna come back and wash me up. Was hoping to get me up and walking around to get some movement in, too."

"That's a good idea. Let's go on a walk later." Wooyoung says as he sits on the chair by his bed. You nod in agreement, watching as Papa continues to eat away at his oatmeal and fruits. 

"Do you need to go home?"

"Mm." Wooyoung looks at his phone. "I was going to just to make some food for us."

"You should go. We'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes." You give him a look, and he can't help but return the look in a playful manner.

"I'll go in a bit, but I'll be quick when I do." He tugs on your hand. "Come sit and relax." You sit in the empty chair next to Wooyoung. You continue to ask Papa about his night and if the doctor visited this morning. He says yes, sharing the optimism from the doctor despite the fact that he'll have to make a few lifestyle changes moving forward. You share in the excitement, agreeing that Papa looks way better and seems to be progressing back to his old self. You and Wooyoung let him know that you'll be there every step of the way, making sure those changes are implemented smoothly. Papa starts to tell you about his dream, and how he was hiking up a tall mountain without any issue. At the end of the trail was a beautiful view of a city, but he couldn't pinpoint where exactly. He describes all the pretty flowers blossoming on his way to the top, the sky clear and blue. He jokes about how he hopes he can make it come true soon, even if its a local hike. You chuckle, telling him he needs to take it easy for awhile until he fully regains strength and he remains stable for a good period. Wooyoung chimes in, volunteering to join him when that time comes.

When the conversation settles, Wooyoung takes this as an opportunity to head out so he can come back right away. He heads back to his apartment to whip up a good lunch and dinner [along with whatever snacks are lying around] to pack up for the two of you to grub on. While he occupies himself with food prep, he calls San to check on him and to ask him how the night went. As expected, his bestfriend is hung over as shit at work, groaning and complaining about how he drank too much and should've paced himself knowing he had work. Wooyoung laughs at him over the phone, giving him his own version of an 'i told you so' before San lowly cusses him out. He asks about you and Papa and if everything seems to be better. Wooyoung lets him know that Papa's improved, and that he was able to talk everything out with you. There's another silence that falls between them and it's because San simply isn't used to this Wooyoung. He's used to the Wooyoung that was a 'lil shit, playing his game and being up and about no matter what the time or day was. He's used to the Wooyoung that wasn't messing with serious relationships and the Wooyoung that had to give the 'i think you should go' talk after every fuck. Or the 'it was never supposed to get this serious' talk when the girls would find themselves talking to him about feelings.

It's just been a long, long time since San has seen this Wooyoung, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he would ever see it again. But, don't get him wrong. He is happy for you two, and it's almost like fresh air hearing Wooyoung talk about you the way he does. He's gonna have to get used to seeing less and less of him, and that's fine— as long as Wooyoung was genuinely happy.

RIP to those days, though. It was fun while it lasted!

Once Wooyoung finally finishes whipping up some food and packing it away, he grabs a few other necessities; fully expecting to be with you tonight so that he can help you with Papa's potential release tomorrow. He's glad he told work he'd be out for the week. Even though it was a bit last minute, he does have a shit ton of PTO and sick hours accumulated that he doesn't mind using if it meant he'd be with you.

God, he really fucking likes you. 

So much that Wooyoung finds a 'lil pep in his step walking back to his car, plopping the bag of food right onto his passenger's seat— buckling it up to keep it safe and steady. He blasts his music out of the parking lot, Mr. Donnell Jones coming through on his speakers with U Know What's Up. He sings along until he's rudely interrupted by a call coming through from his sister.

"Damn, Jiwoo. You couldn't call any other time?" Wooyoung clicks his teeth. "What is it?"

"I just got back to my apartment from the airport, jeez. Can I swing by?"

"No. I just left."

"Then do you think you can stop by really quickly? I got you a few things from Japan." Which, as we've learned, is Jiwoo's way of apologizing without having to flat out apologize to her brother. Wooyoung rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, shaking his head as if she can see him.

"Can't either."

"Why not?"

"Because. I'm on the way to the hospital."

"Uh. For what?"

"Well, while you were too busy being all upsetti-spaghetti, Papa's been in the hospital."

"What? Why didn't Y/N tell me anything?! Oh my god—"

"Jiwoo, if I were her, I would not be thinking about you first either." Wooyoung furrows his brows as he continues to drive off. "Besides, you being the good ol' bestfriend you are, kicked her outta your place, remember? I don't think she necessarily feels like she can come to you right now."

"Fuck." Jiwoo whines, feeling guilty about everything. She knows she was a tad too harsh, and she knows she should've come to you first. But, she was waiting until she could see you in person to apologize for the way she acted. "Which hospital?"

"SNU."

"I'll be there soon with Joong." 

"Don't come if you plan on yelling some more."

"I'm not! I need to see my bestfriend, Wooyoung. You can't have her to yourself."

"Can't hear you—" With that, Wooyoung abruptly ends the call. He drives into the garage and finds a spot on the third level, carrying the bag of food he made in his hand before making the trek over to Papa's room. 

"You're back." Your eyes twinkle when you see him walk in and he can't help but smile.

"That, I am." He presses a kiss to your temple. "I made some food for lunch and dinner. Or else my groceries were gonna go bad."

"Wow, okay chef." You laugh. "Thank you, Woo." 

"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone before turning to Papa, who is now coming out of the bathroom with his nurse. "He's up."

"He is!" She answers.

"Am I allowed to take him on a walk and get some steps in?"

"No, please. Go for it. Thank you." The nurse steps aside to let Wooyoung guide Papa and the IV pole out into the hallway. The nurse watches them until they head out, returning her attention back to you once they leave.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

"Mm. A friend that's a boy?" You tease with a small laugh. She gets it though, and she knows. You didn't even have to say it because she can clearly see it through Wooyoung's actions alone.

"Well, he seems to care a lot about you and your grandfather. It's very sweet."

"He is." You give her a toothless smile. "Thank you for taking care of him. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. He's been good, so I'm more than sure he'll be out of here tomorrow." You nod, watching as she walks out of the room. You sit back and look through the bag Wooyoung brought, giggling to yourself when there's a whole bag of sour punch straws and other random snacks surrounding the tupperwares. You pick at the tiny bag of biscoff cookies, nibbling onto one as you sit back and catch up on one of the podcasts you actively follow. 

Just as Wooyoung and Papa come back into the room about 30 minutes later, you scurry off to the bathroom down the hall. At this point, Jiwoo and Hongjoong barely miss you as they turn the corner and approach the room. Wooyoung is helping Papa get situated properly back in the bed post-walk, the two talking about the episode from his cooking show that's currently playing on TV. When he turns towards the door and catches Jiwoo'a figure, he gives her a small nod of acknowledgement.

"Joong, I think an intruder snuck in with you." Jiwoo rolls her eyes while Hongjoong laughs it off, the two of them formally greeting Papa and checking in with him. Jiwoo looks around the room, making sure she hasn't missed you before turning to her brother.

"Where'd she go?"

"Bathroom." Wooyoung gives his sister a particular look. 

"Don't give me that look." She pouts a bit and he shrugs.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Is all he says before you appear in the doorway, pausing in your steps when you noticed the additional visitors in the room.

"Oh. Hi—" Jiwoo comes rushing over, pulling you into the biggest bear hug known to man. At first, you're caught off guard even though this has happened during silly little one-off fights with Jiwoo in the past. But, once you've gotten over the initial feeling, you slowly wrap your arms around her and rest in her hold.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I really am so sorry. I shouldn't have done all of that, I shouldn't have yelled and kicked you out— I'm so sorry." She mumbles against you. "You must've felt so alone. I'm sorry. I wanted to wait until I saw you in person again but Wooyoung told me Papa was here so I had to come. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry and said those things—" She continues to repeat until she's basically sobbing in your arms, the three men in the back minding their own business and giving you two space.

"It's fine, Jiwoo. Stop apologizing."

"No, it's not." She pulls back and looks at you with a pout, brushing your hair back. "I treated you so poorly and unfairly and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I probably would've reacted the same way if I was in your shoes. It's fine. We're okay."

"Are you sure we are? I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Stop that. You don't need to, okay? I promise we're fine." She lets out a sigh and examines your features, somewhat relieved you don't seem too exhausted or stressed from everything going on.

"Are you and my brother good? Did you talk it out?"

"We did."

"So, is this a thing now?" She points between you and him, and you nod timidly.

"Y-yeah. It is. I hope you're not mad."

"I'm not. I'm only slightly grossed out just cause it's Wooyoung, but I'm not mad. You just let me know if he messes up ever again, okay? I'm sorry, Y/N. And wait, don't think about replacing me with him either." You snort, shaking your head at her. She hugs you tightly again before holding your hand and bringing you to the gift bags she set aside at the corner of the room. She hands you and Papa a gift bag, while shoving Wooyoung's his way. Her and Hongjoong tell you a little bit about the trip, but they don't go into too much detail before they start asking about Papa and how he had been feeling. As the conversation continues, Jiwoo notices the way Wooyoung completely changes around you [in a good way]. He's got you on his lap, hand gently caressing your arm. It looks so natural and so.. meant to be [and so not out of place] that Jiwoo can't even be mad or find a reason to justify her past actions. He cares about you, and you with him.

All she's ever wanted was for you to be happy, for Wooyoung to be genuinely happy. She's not gonna lie— it does melt her heart a bit to see it live.

They hang around for a good hour or so before Jiwoo and Hongjoong give Papa some time to rest; Wooyoung offering to walk them back to the car while you stay behind and sit with him as he falls into an afternoon nap. Hongjoong quickly runs over to the bathroom, leaving Jiwoo and her brother alone momentarily.

"You really care about her." Jiwoo says softly.

"Yeah, I do." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and kicks at the imaginary rocks below his feet.

"Don't fuck this up, okay?" She looks at him. "Seriously, I'll beat your ass if you hurt her."

"I won't, Jiwoo." He says, slightly annoyed. But, he knows she means well and is just being your bestfriend. "Could help if you had a little more hope in me, you know?"

"Okay. I'm sorry." She sighs. "So, what are your plans with her? You haven't asked her out officially, right?"

"Well, that's why I'm gonna take her out on a date once Papa's out and better."

"To where?"

"To mind your own business, that's where." He looks at her with a brow cocked up and she rolls her eyes.

"Idiot." He snorts.

"Actually.. I have a few ideas but there's this one I really like. Think she might have fun and enjoy it with me."

—TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid @ldysmfrst @intaksfav @wooyoungsbrat @hyukssunflower @yunhoswrldddd @gotthicbish @thespiffynerd @jaytheatiny @yoonrixx @aurorajoye @i-love-ateez @starrywoo @bitejoongie @thedistractedwriter @dalsuwaha @huachengsbestie01

[yuoniz]

LOVE STRINGS — TUBATU

synopsis . tubatu as beabadoobee songs

투바투 : txt x gnr ☁️ 1.1K — fluff ❨ warnings ❩ suggestive, profanity, txt down bad losers yes! 𓍼 note — repost again but who really cares┆(bookshelf)

OO1 ┊CHOI YEONJUN

as glue song

if you guys were in a relationship, you would basically be in a relationship w this song

this songs just embodies yeonjun

this man would fall in love pretty quickly if you knew the right ways to make his heart flutter

he would still feel like he came back from his first date w you after you both go on dates.

bros go to line would be "where are you rn?"

like even if you just called him 5 mins ago that you're coming to his house he would still text you

or if you just left the dorm

you would literally be stuck to him by the glue (😆😆)

he can't even find the right words to express what he feels for you

theres so much he wants to express because I see him as a very expressive person

its the little things he does that show how much he loves you

putting his hand against the top of a cabinet so when you bring your head up it would hit the edge

allowing you to use him as a makeshift chair at anytime

this man will never say no to you

if you want something, he'd simply just nod his head

if you want boba, he'd kiss your forehead and leave the apartment after saying 'I love you'

he's seriously so whipped for you plss

"have I ever told you how pretty you look?"

"jun, you said that five times this morning."

other members are under the cut !

OO2 ┊CHOI SOOBIN

as livelong

this song is so soobin coded idc

he would learn so much with being in a relationship with you

it would be one of those quiet times you both would spend together

you would be reading a book, resting on his lap

he would be massaging you head, stroking his fingers through your hair

and he would be lost in your eyes fixated on the book you were engrossed in

and he knew he was in love with you

everytime he sees you see would have so many thoughts running around his head and he would just make some weird noise whenever you ask him a question because he has so much to say

"did you listen to this song, bin? I love it sm."

"nngh"

🧍‍♀️

no because you're the partner he wants to grow old with

like he can't name a more beautiful person other than you

bro is so in love its actually concerning

and you would be to

thats how you both were

you both learn so much from each other through conversations, heated arguments, anything

and at the end of the day, you both were molded for each other

thats how yall were

"If we both had children should we call them soobeans?"

"babe..."

OO3 ┊CHOI BEOMGYU

as apple cider

plsss this song was dedicated to beomgyu

he would never express his feelings like

its giving friends to lovers with mutual pining, but half of the time its beomgyu acting like he hates you, denying his feelings but actually he's so in love with you.

he just doesn't know it yet

because why does he always hold your hand when you walk together in public?

oh so you wont get lost

ok so why does he call you "honey" in front of other people

so they won't bother you

like... ok bff

the deluder is deluding

"I don't even like you that much. Wait, I do, fuck"

TELL ME THAT AIN'T HIM

plss he'd be so awkward asking you out

"idk maybe if you wanna go out to watch or movie or something idk."

he'd blush so hard when you say yes

and when you both date

it would still be the same expect yall are dating HELPP

the way yall would bicker 80% of the time and then make out the other 20% of the time

its so cute to see him all flustered when you compliment him

"you are soo in love with me, gyu."

"SHUT UP!"

OO4 ┊KANG TAEHYUN

as you're here that's the thing

he'd want a simple relationship

he doesn't want to overcomplicate things

hell he'd even just want a no-label relationship

I so believe that this man is a "career>relationship"

sorry terry 😕

he'd want it to be lowkey

but when it's just the two of you, he's so???

no because why does he glitch everytime he sees you??

he feels so safe when you're just simply there

like you srsly got him wrapped around your finger

"tyun, I'm sorry I cant come tomorrow. Plus, what would happen if I'm not there."

"You're not there, that's the thing."

LIKE?????

he falls a bit too hard whenever he sees you

and you're sick of this no-label relationship

you want it to be more than just this

and you know he wants it too

so after months of contemplating

you confronted him

and he couldn't imagine his life without you

so without saying anything

he just kissed you

he loves you too much to let go of you

he's never felt this b4, but he liked it

"I know I don't say it. that much, but..."

"it's okay tyun, I do too."

OO1 ┊HUENING KAI

as art class

he's someone who would have a massive crush on someone (you) and he would think they won't like him back

he would be the first one to realise if you got a new haircut

or if you changed your perfume

he has a great memory when it comes to you.

He'd be so attentive when he listens to you

he would remember the little things like

"there's no way you got me this."

"you said you liked it when we were at the park."

PLSS HE SO CUTE

you'd notice his cute gestures

and you realised he liked you

you made him feel like his heart was an art class

he'd feel so wild yet it be in the calmest moments you both would have

he likes you so much, he doesn't know what to do

he's the type of person to feel so much and he actually doesn't know what to do

so you ask him if he wanted to go out

everything around you both froze, to him

he'd just stand there and nod

plsss

even after its a few months after you both start dating

he'd still be so utterly in love with you

he'd just wanted to be with you, doing nothing

if only you could read his mind.

"you looked so pretty today, not the you didn't look pretty yesterday or any other days! you actually look pretty everyday-"

"kai if you wanna kiss, just say so."

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎designer yuoniz ! do not copy, repost, translate any of my works

[the-littlest-goblin]

Something that's stuck with me from the Arch Heart's appearance, which highlights a major underpinning of my frustration with C3, is the "Big Doors don't work" comment.

In what way exactly is the Big Door not working?

The purpose of the Divine Gate was to mitigate the gods exerting undo influence on mortal affairs, and according to everything we've seen in all 3 campaigns up to this point, this was a demonstrable success: the Calamity ended, and despite multiple potentially world-ending catastrophes cropping up since then, it has been up to mortals to deal with these threats. They've often done so with divine aid, but I fail to see how that's overreaching on the gods' part when accepting said aid is still dependent on mortal choice.*

Part of the Arch Heart's reasoning for wanting to "let go" is, as I understand it, because mortals continue to rebel against and resent the gods even from behind the Divine Gate. Which, yes they do, but like... the customer is not always right. Not every complaint needs to be catered to, especially the ones based on faulty postulates.

I get that this is not how the Arch Heart is thinking about it; my issue is not with the roleplay of individual characters, but with the narrative whole and the sheer amount of time it has spent, both in the text and extra-textual framing, sincerely entertaining the base axioms of an argument that is so poorly constructed Ludinus wouldn't make it past round one of a middle school debate club. None of the anti-god arguments have given any tangible evidence for the claim that the gods are an oppressive force or that Exandria would be better off without them that is not either:

A. Aeor, which was pre-Divine Gate and in fact the catalyst for the gods to pull back on interfering with mortal affairs, and therefore not all that pertinent to the current status quo;

or B. an event or action that, while it may be done in the name of the gods (e.g. Hearthdell) or directly encouraged by a god (e.g. Opal and the Crown) is nonetheless still contingent on mortals making choices, and therefore not a convincing argument that the gods are infringing on free will,** nor that removing them would prevent these types of situations.

An ongoing motif of C3 has been showing perspectives which challenge the prevailing narrative about the gods as established within Exandria's lore to this point. As a story enjoyer, I normally would eat up this sort of reversal—I love a metatextual play with in-universe narratives. But to do so convincingly requires more substance than a handful of characters going 'Trust me bro.' I'm going to need to see some peer-reviewed studies on Exandrian metaphysics before I take Ludinus "17 ulterior motives stacked in a wizard robe" Da'leth's word over what I've seen with my own brain over thousands of hours worth of game play.

If the message of the narrative is telling me to question the diegetic information it presents, then I am going to do just that. So far every argument that the gods do more harm than good for Exandria has been rampant citationless behavior. I find it baffling and borderline infuriating that we're approaching the denouement of this campaign and I still have yet to see evidence that the core conflict of the story, the central debate which has plagued every in-game and fandom discussion for a year now, is based on an actual problem. Like, at all.

*If you think Vax did not exercise his own agency and free will in every step of becoming Champion of the Matron, you are simply wrong.

**For real, we know there are magical means of straight-up mind control in Exandria. Like, you don't have to approve of it, but the gods engaging in standard issue verbal manipulation does not constitute a violation of free will, and it certainly doesn't make the argument that they are so immeasurably more powerful than mortals that they should not be allowed to exist.

[metanarrates]

there are a LOT of things you can speculate about regarding what twsa was actually like as a novel but what's most interesting to me is that you can make the argument that twsa was an "unpolished" version of what orv is. it's a version of a similar novel that likely dealt with a lot of similar themes but was seemingly bogged down by poor structure, pacing, expository handling, and focus. (all of which are things that orv is shockingly excellent at.)

and of course, han sooyoung's novel, sssss-grade infinite regressor, is the "polished" version of the idea. it's well-written, probably well-plotted, and was successful enough to make han sooyoung rich and famous. we don't know what sssss-grade infinite regressor is like as a novel either, but we sort of get the impression that it's not very emotionally rich even if it is good on a technical level. han sooyoung herself doesn't seem intensely attached to it despite being proud of her work, and kim dokja of course doesn't hold it in high regard. (though of course he's a gigantic unreliable narrator and also a hater.)

what's interesting is that despite orv very strongly emphasizing the ways these works are flawed from the outset, orv itself functions as an argument in these works' favor. both twsa and infinite regressor are stand-ins for the "mass-produced" genre of webnovels. they are popular fiction, relying on a very familiar pool of tropes and clichés in order to deliver on a relatively predictable story to appeal to a wide audience. it's not a coincidence that they are so similar - both literally and in a meta sense, they are drawing on the same exact story-building and genre material. twsa is just the unsuccessful version, and infinite regressor is the successful one.

orv is what I would consider the most "impressive" version of the genre. it's well-structured, thrillingly plotted, interestingly written, has fascinating ideas and characters, and is even "literary" - that is, it has deeply considered themes and is often drawing from the realm of literary, postmodern fiction in order to express its ideas. a less sincere story would disavow itself from its pop-fiction origins and claim to be the best version of its genre. nothing else could be like it, so the worst versions of its genre wouldn't be worth considering.

but orv, while technically functioning as an argument that the genre can be "good" simply because it's a great novel that is deeply rooted in its genre, goes much further. it argues in-text that any sort of story, even those that are bad on a technical level or those that were somewhat cynically produced for a mass audience, are worth finding value in, simply because stories have meaning to their readers. the most uncritical reproduction of a genre's conventions can still mean something to someone who likes it. twsa, if it existed in our reality, would still probably be considered a very bad novel, but it wouldn't need to be polished up and turned into infinite regressor or orv in order to have value. orv itself is telling you that you should find value in twsa as it is, and by extension, every badly-done work of fiction that twsa could be a stand-in for!

[manonsmartini]

Maniac: We Had Magic But You Made It Tragic

Daniela Avanzini x fem!reader

3.3k words | established relationship | story starts with predebut daniela | predebut friends are fictional

angst, fluff, homophobia, closeted, suggestive(ish) joke

In all honesty, it is truly dreadful to walk these halls, and you'd rather be anywhere than here at the moment. Opening the door to your locker though, you couldn't help the smile that crept to your lips at the sight of a little brown teddy bear, already having an idea of how it ended up in your locker.

"Hi cutie, I'll meet you up at your place tonight @ 10," a small handwritten letter said.

You stifle a chuckle, remembering that you once told Daniela that you valued handwritten letters, and although this is not the type of handwritten letter you had in mind, knowing that it came from the blonde made it a hundred times better.

After getting your stuff from the locker, you headed to your next class.

As you sat in your chair, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the girl that has been taking over your thoughts for the past three months. You didn't even know why someone like Daniela would give you the time of day—heck, she's literally THE Daniela Avanzini. It is especially shocking because prior to her taking an interest in you, you would have sworn that she is exclusively a boy kisser.

It still baffles you every time you think about your first interaction. It was at the parking lot near the campus grounds, it’s already dark and you had been standing there alone, waiting for someone you barely knew.

“Your date stood you up?” You visibly jolted, shocked at the sudden voice behind you. Turning around, you were surprised to see Daniela Avanzini staring right at you, a smirk visible on her lips, her arms crossed over her chest while her hands held her car keys.

“What, you see a loser in the wild and you immediately assume that she got stood up by a date? That’s very judgemental of you,” You replied, light-heartedly.

Although you meant it as a joke, you could see the shift in the girl’s demeanor, scratching her loose blond curls, looking slightly embarrassed, “Oh— I… I didn’t—”

“It’s alright, I was messing with you,” You cut her off. Daniela nodded before regaining her composure, “So what are you doing here all alone?”

Studying her face, it took you a hot minute to answer because first of all, you did not expect her to engage in an actual conversation with you; sure you expected a snarky remark about getting ditched by a date, but you didn’t expect her to actually talk to you. You immediately convinced yourself that she probably still feels guilty about her assumption which you called her out for.

“I mean if you don’t mind me asking,” Daniela added, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a creep, especially not in an empty parking lot.”

You realized that while you were overthinking, you were simply staring at the blonde’s face, probably making her feel more tense than she already was, “No, I don’t mind at all, sorry,” You started, “My mind went blank all of a sudden, it’s just that Hailey borrowed my notes yesterday and she asked me to meet her here so that she could return them.”

The blonde clicked her tongue before replying, “Well damn, I guess you’re not getting it tonight though.”

You look at her in question, “Why not?”

“She and her boyfriend had an argument earlier so now she’s at his place because he’s trying to make it up to her,” Daniela says.

“Oh, wow. Thanks for the heads up, god I hope she told me that herself so that I didn’t have to wait here all night thinking she had dance practice or something,” You said, obviously pissed, but your foul mood was not directed towards the blonde in front of you, rather it was for the blonde that ditched you.

“Look, I’m sure Hailey just forgot, she tends to do that when she’s stressed by her boyfriend, and maybe she couldn’t text you because she didn’t have your number,” Daniela tried to reason.

Now you felt bad because although she’s not the person you’re pissed at, she’s definitely in the receiving end of your attitude so you straightened up and said, “Yeah you’re right, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a bitch towards you, I really do appreciate you telling me all this.”

Daniela flashes you a bright smile, her dimple showing, and you swore your heart bursted at the sight, “No worries at all, god knows what I would’ve said and done if I were in your position,” She wraps her hand around your arm, caressing it, “It’s all good, don’t worry, you weren’t a bitch at all.”

You could feel goosebumps all over the arm that the dancer held, especially with her eyes locked onto yours, it felt like you were suffocating but in the best way possible.

“Well, since we have established that you wouldn’t be seeing Hailey tonight, do you have any other plans?”

“Other than going home?” You asked, shocked that she would even ask such a question.

Daniela flashed you another smile, her dimple once again making an appearance, "I'd seriously kill for an unhealthily greasy burger right now," You could see the girl studying your face before continuing, "I was wondering if you'd like to join me?"

"I–" You honestly fell silent, not knowing how to respond to a really pretty girl asking you to eat with her, "Sure, I'd love to."

The dancer's smile widens, her eyes practically glowing in the dimly lit parking lot, "Great, I know a really good place. My car's just over there," The girl turns around, pointing towards her red car.

You nodded, and followed her when she started making her way towards the vehicle, "Oh shit, I forgot to ask," She turns back to face you, "Do you have a ride? Sorry, I just assumed that you'd ride with me…"

Daniela laughs awkwardly, scratching her head before adding, "God, I should really stop assuming things about you."

You gave the blonde a genuine smile of your own, finding the whole interaction adorable, "It's fine, Daniela, I don't mind, and no, I don't have a ride."

The girl's eyes visibly widened at the mention of her name, "Oh god," she said.

You look at her in curiosity, "Why? Is there something wrong?" You asked as the both of you approached the car.

"I just remembered, I didn't even introduce myself to you," The blonde said, a look of utter disbelief painted on her face. You couldn't help but chuckle at the girl.

"Daniela," you started, emphasizing her name, "I highly doubt that you even have to; you're like one of the most well-known students in our batch," you gave her a kind smile before adding, "If anything, I should be the one worried that I haven't introduced myself."

The dancer shakes her head in disagreement, "No," She starts, "Well, I already know you, I mean, I've seen you perform at some of your gigs," You could feel your cheeks heating up as the girl opens the car door for you, her eyes steady on your frame. You never would have thought that she'd be hanging out at the cafes that you played in, other than the fact that you'd never seen her, it just doesn't seem like her vibe.

"Oh, well, I'd hardly call it a performance," You replied as she finally enters her car, getting ready to drive off, "I just go up the stage with a guitar and sing," You could see the girl about to disagree with you when you added, "You on the other hand, wow, you are a performer."

Despite her focus being trained on the road, you could see the pink tint coloring the girl's cheeks, "That is not true," was all she could say.

"Oh come on, Daniela," You started, "You're a dance prodigy—you know for a fact that I'm right."

That night was the start of something unexpected; a vicious and feisty force that was Daniela just waltz into your life without any warning, and ever since then, the girl kept finding ways to bump into you and spark a conversation with you.

And of course, you did not even try to avoid it; in fact, you loved the attention that Daniela gave you—she's such an addictive person and the more you saw her, the more you wanted to bask in her presence.

It didn't even take the dancer long before she finally asked you out on a real date, which ended successfully, causing the both of you to finally have a mutual understanding of dating each other in private, mostly because she is not ready to come out of the closet.

You were lying on your bed, scrolling through twitter when you received a text from your girlfriend, telling you that she's right outside. You send her a quick response before quietly rushing out of your bedroom to sneak her into your house.

Daniela never fails to look amazing whenever she meets up with you. Sure, the latina always looks absolutely stunning even without much effort, but there's certainly something different every time she goes out to see you, and in a way, it gives you a sense of pride knowing that only you get to see her this way, and that maybe, just maybe, she puts in the effort to look good for you.

"Are you doing anything this Saturday?" The dancer looks at you expectantly as she laid on your lap, both of you resting comfortably on your bed. You had an exam on Monday that you really had to prepare for, but you decided to ask the dancer, "Do you have any plans in mind?"

"Mhm," She nods adorably, sitting up straight facing you, "I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies with me," Daniela basically pleads with her eyes, "My friends have been raving about this one horror film, and I really really want to watch it. Please?"

Now seriously, how do you say no to that? Exactly, you don't.

After making plans with her, both of you cuddled on your bed with the latina being the small spoon. You spoke into her exposed neck, feeling the goosebumps immediately form around the area, "Dani, baby, it's midnight."

The blonde sighs before turning around to face you. She stares into your eyes before she wraps her arm on your waist holding you closer, and buries her face on your chest.

“I don’t care,” Daniela says, squeezing your body closer which you didn’t even think was possible. As much as you didn’t want her to go, you replied, “Tomorrow’s a school day, Dani, you have to go back home.”

The girl only grumbled in response so you continued, “Besides, my parents would freak out if they see a stranger’s car outside our house.”

Daniela finally separates her face from your chest, looking at you sheepishly, “But I’m not a stranger now, am I? Not with all the things I’m doing to their little princess,” she says, a smirk evident on her lips.

Your cheeks heat up at her words, choosing to ignore her insinuation, you said, “To them, you are a stranger, and I can’t exactly introduce you to them as my friend because that just feels wrong.”

You could see the pout forming on the latina’s lips and you wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. It seems as though Daniela read your thoughts because not even a minute later her hand brushes your cheeks before leaning into you, taking your lips in a slow kiss.

“Alright, I’ll go,” Daniela says, her lips still on yours, “I’ll miss you,” she utters.

You bite her bottom lip, urging her to kiss you once again, “Don’t be silly, we’ll see each other on campus.”

Daniela Avanzini is truly addictive—a girl like her is hard to let go of and you are certain that you are the luckiest person alive knowing that you get to call her your girlfriend, albeit not publicly. The mere knowledge that she likes you is enough.

However, it would be a lie if you said that it didn’t bother you: keeping your relationship secret. You were a private person yourself, but lov—liking Daniela feels like it isn’t enough; you feel the need to tell the world that you are hers.

You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her ex boyfriend, a famous jock in your highschool, and how public their relationship was. It wasn’t that you were jealous. No—but you sure feel envious of what they had.

How freely he could visit Daniela at her home, her family welcoming him with open arms. How he could easily tag along with Daniela’s friends when they hangout. How he was able to tell the whole school how much Daniela meant to him.

You weren’t jealous of him, but you envied what he had with Daniela. Because as much as the latina makes an effort to see you, it feels like the effort to hide you from her life was bigger.

Like how she barely acknowledges you at school, the way she makes an effort to go to campus at a ridiculously early hour just to slip a note in your locker so that no one would see her, how she would visit your home late at night and having to sneak her in. Although it hasn’t been long, she already means the world to you, and whenever your mind touches these thoughts, you can’t avoid the bitter feeling that grows in your chest.

But deep inside, you knew that Daniela was worth the wait. You don't know how much time she needs before she feels comfortable enough to let this secret out, but until then, you would settle for anything that the girl was ready to give.

Saturday rolls around and you could barely contain your excitement. It has been a while since you actually went out with Daniela; she only either sneaked into your room or she’d pick you up to sneak you into hers.

You find yourself overthinking about what to wear to your date with the blonde, not wanting to go overboard but also wanting to look pretty for the girl. You settled with a casual outfit that you were comfortable in, but tried to make an effort in your appearance by putting on some makeup.

Not long after getting ready, you received a text message from your girlfriend. You smiled at her words before typing in your response.

Double checking whether everything is in place, you gathered your stuff and headed out the house. As much as you were pretty introverted, your parents don't exactly question you as much when you leave because for the most part, they assume that you’ll be out singing at cafes.

When you arrived at the gas station, you could already see the striking red car of your girlfriend. Daniela spots you from the driver’s seat and immediately vacates her vehicle to greet you.

The blonde carefully studies your frame from your shoes til her eyes slowly reach yours, taking in your appearance, “You look amazing,” She said, seemingly breathless.

You’re sure that a pink tint has appeared on your cheeks as you feel them heat up at your girlfriend’s compliment mixed with her intense stare, “And you look beautiful, Dani, as always.”

The blonde steps into your personal space and wraps her arms around you, a hand reaching the back of your head, urging you to bury your face onto the crook of her neck.

“I missed you,” Daniela says as she plants a soft kiss on your temple, still holding onto you. You were grateful that she was practically shielding you from the world because it meant that you could hide the stupidly big smile on your lips, feeling both joyful and perplexed at the public display of affection coming from the latina. You truly prayed for times like this.

The mere action made you hopeful; perhaps things are finally about to change.

Little did you know, you were right—things were about to change, but not for the better.

The film that you watched was great. Sure, it was scary and you had a few jumps and shrieks which were embarrassing to say the least, but every time you did so, Daniela held you as close as possible, so you still considered it as a win.

As the movie ended, both of you made your way out of the cinema, “Dani,” you called out to the blonde, “I’ll just go to the bathroom real quick,” you informed her.

She nodded and said, “Alright, I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

As Daniela exited the cinema, she heard a familiar voice calling her, “Dani?” The latina freezed at her spot, trying to calm her nerves before turning around to face the girl who was already smiling widely at her.

“Hey Hailey,” the latina greeted her friend, feeling uncomfortable but trying her hardest not to let it show, “You watched the movie?”

The other blonde shook her head no, “We’re just about to watch it, but I thought I saw you leaving the cinema so I followed you just to be sure.”

“Why didn’t you say that you were going to go to the movies? We could’ve gone together!” Hailey said, then suddenly she squints her eyes at the latina, “Or are you here on a date? Oh my god Daniela, who are you with?”

Daniela tried to act nonchalantly, rolling her eyes at her friend’s excitement with a smirk on her face. She knew that you could come out any minute, and that there’s probably no way out of this situation so she tried her best to save her face.

“Oh god, you won’t even believe me if I told you,” Daniela said, a laugh laced with her tone, “I went with Y/N.”

“What?” Hailey looks surprised, “I didn’t know you two were friends?”

“We’re not,” Daniela laughs lightly, “It’s a bit of a long story so I’ll text you the details later, but yeah…” the girl trailed off, “She seems to admire me so I went with it, and in return I get free booze and food from her,” Daniela laughs.

Her friend widens her eyes before she laughs with her friend, “Oh my god, Daniela! You must be so bored with your life! That’s so funny though,” the girl laughs, “And really smart, damn.”

“Yeah,” The latina agrees, “You know how she sings at some cafes and bars?” Her friend nods, urging her to continue, “Well, let’s just say that I can confirm that the foods and drinks from those places are pretty good.”

Hailey was just about to reply to the other dancer when the pair spotted you exiting the cinema, cutting their conversation to a sudden end. You raised your gaze and your eyes met your girlfriend’s, then her friend’s who was looking at you with amusement in her eyes.

You almost stopped in your tracks knowing that Daniela never told her friends that she even knows you, but seeing the girl’s smile, you felt at ease and decided to approach the pair.

“Hey,” you said, nervously. “Oh my god,” Hailey says, “I have to go, the movie’s about to start.”

She locks eyes with the other blonde before saying, “I’ll catch up with you later, alright? Tell me everything.”

Both you and Daniela watched as the girl entered the cinema, and as she was no longer in sight, the blonde broke the silence, “Hey, you ready to go home?”

You met your girlfriend’s gaze, studying her face, unsure of whether you should ask her about Hailey or not, but decided against it, thinking that if she wants to talk about it, she’ll bring it up.

A small smile appears on your lips before you reply, “Yeah, let’s go.”

[ II ] | main

[velvetvisionsaurora]

Pairing: Hongjoong x reader, Seonghwa x reader, Yunho x reader, Mingi x reader, Wooyoung x reader.

Summary: Five eight-year-old boys aboard the slave ship Crimson Serpent form an unbreakable bond with five-year-old y/n. before she's sold at auction. Despite their failed rescue attempt, they swear a blood oath on her teddy bear to find her. Fifteen years later, now feared pirates leading the ATEEZ

Warnings: Slavery/Human Trafficking, Separation/Loss, Violence, Eventual Smut. SA(not by any main characters) y/n gets switched to a real name but it has a purpose. More warnings to be updated.

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Masterlist

Chapter 5

Echoes and Whispers

The officers' mess fell silent as Ella's footsteps faded down the corridor. For several long moments, no one spoke, each man lost in his own thoughts as the encounter settled in their minds. It was Wooyoung who finally broke the silence, unable to contain himself any longer.

"It's her," he declared, voice pitched low but vibrating with certainty. "You all see it, right? It has to be her."

Seonghwa raised a cautionary hand, his expression carefully neutral. "We need to be methodical about this. Confirmation bias is a powerful force."

"Confirmation bias?" Wooyoung scoffed, leaning forward intently. "She breaks honey cakes in half before eating them—exactly like she did on The Crimson Serpent. That's not bias, that's observation."

"A common eating habit," Seonghwa countered firmly. "Many people break food into manageable pieces. It proves nothing."

"She recommended cardamom in the compote," Wooyoung pressed, frustration coloring his voice. "The exact spice I used to grind up for our 'magic potions' when we were children. And you should have seen her face when she first tasted the tea this morning—recognition, clear as day."

"Or simply appreciation for good tea," Seonghwa replied. "Cardamom is hardly an obscure spice, Wooyoung. It's commonly used in Halazia and throughout the southern territories."

Hongjoong studied the remnants of dessert in his bowl, his expression thoughtful. "Each of us has noticed something," he acknowledged. "Moments where she seems..." he hesitated, choosing his words carefully, "...familiar with our habits."

"The stars," Yunho added quietly. "She knew exactly where Orion would be positioned tonight, despite it not being visible in daylight. And she mentioned Canis Major with Sirius—the same constellation I taught her about during night watches on The Crimson Serpent."

"Self-taught astronomy, she claimed," Hongjoong noted, glancing at Seonghwa. "Through a window in her quarters under Blackwell."

"Convenient explanation," Wooyoung muttered.

"But entirely plausible," Seonghwa reminded them. "Many captives develop intellectual pursuits to escape their circumstances mentally. Astronomy requires minimal resources—just consistent observation and perhaps access to a basic text."

Wooyoung opened his mouth to object, but Seonghwa continued before he could speak.

"Consider this logically: how many young women her age would recognize constellations? Thousands of educated people study the stars. It's compelling that she shares this interest with y/n, but far from conclusive."

His methodical dismantling of their evidence created a moment of uncomfortable silence. Wooyoung's shoulders slumped slightly, the wind taken from his argumentative sails.

Mingi, who had remained silent throughout the exchange, suddenly spoke. "She makes me feel.." He taps his chest. Trying to make his point. "Same as y/n did."

The others turned toward him, surprised by both the contribution and its significance. The gunner rarely participated in group discussions unless specifically addressed.

"Mingi that could be just a feeling because a pretty girl is around. A crush, or simply lust" Seonghwa counters, though his conviction slipping slightly. 

"Mingi doesn't get crushes. Having a crush would require him to speak with them! And he doesn't he's too scared!" Wooyoung exclaims pointing to Mingi like it’s a critical point in his case. "No offense Mingi." He says with a sympathetic look. 

"Offense taken." Mingi says looking down. Yunho chuckles and pats his friend on the back in sympathy. 

"What I mean is, he doesn't get close to women to speak to them because he's scared, but he's not with Ella!" Wooyoung clarifies. 

The implication hung in the air between them. Hongjoong looks at Mingi contemplating Wooyoung's observation. 

"There is how she arranges objects," Seonghwa admitted after a moment, surprising the others with what seemed like supporting evidence. "This morning in the chart room, she aligned the navigation tools in perfect right angles—identical to my own organizational pattern."

Wooyoung perked up immediately. "See? Even you've noticed these things!"

"But," Seonghwa continued deliberately, "when I mentioned it, she seemed embarrassed, as if caught in an unconscious habit. She quickly explained that order and precision were valued in Blackwell's household, with severe consequences for disorganization."

Wooyoung throws his head back in a dramatic groan at his friend’s thought process. Earning chuckles and an eye roll from their captain.

He leaned forward, meeting each man's gaze in turn. "Again, an entirely rational explanation for behavior that superficially resembles y/n's. We must consider that slaves often adopt the preferences of their owners as survival strategy."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, absorbing this analysis. "And the way she watches the horizon," he added thoughtfully. "It's reminiscent of her expression during our stargazing lessons as a child—that specific combination of wonder and calculation."

"Memory does play tricks," Seonghwa noted quietly. "Especially with someone we've been seeking for fifteen years. We've conjured y/n's image in our minds countless times, possibly distorting our recollection of her actual mannerisms."

He paused before continuing, his voice gentler than before. "I want her to be y/n. We all do. But wanting something doesn't make it true."

"So you're convinced she's not y/n?" Wooyoung challenged, frustration evident.

"I'm not convinced either way," Seonghwa replied with careful precision. "I'm simply urging caution before we emotionally invest in a conclusion that might prove false. We've experienced disappointment before."

The reminder of previous false leads—young women who had initially seemed promising but ultimately weren't y/n—created a somber atmosphere. Over fifteen years, they had followed countless rumors and possibilities, each failure leaving fresh wounds.

"I still believe it's her," Wooyoung stated, though with slightly less certainty than before.

"As do I," Mingi added quietly but firmly.

Hongjoong glanced between them, then toward Yunho, who appeared troubled by the conflicting perspectives.

"Seonghwa's points are valid," Yunho acknowledged reluctantly. "Maybe I've been projecting meaning onto ordinary behaviors. When she identified the stars' positions, I felt certain it was her. But that knowledge isn't rare among educated people."

"The timing is suspicious though," Wooyoung interjected. "She's exactly the right age. She was owned by Blackwell directly after our separation on The Crimson Serpent."

"Hundreds of children were sold that season. Many to Blackwell himself." Seonghwa countered. "The timing proves nothing except that she was unfortunate enough to be captive during the same period."

"So we're all in agreement?" Wooyoung asked, looking around the table with disbelief. "After everything we've observed, we're still doubting?"

"Not agreement," Hongjoong clarified, studying his quartermaster thoughtfully. "Seonghwa is advocating caution, which has served us well in the past."

He turned to Seonghwa with unusual directness. "Though I wonder if your insistence on alternative explanations stems purely from logical analysis, or if something else influences your perspective."

Seonghwa held his captain's gaze for a long moment before his carefully maintained composure softened slightly. "Is it so unreasonable to protect ourselves from potential disappointment? We've followed this hope for fifteen years, chasing shadows and coincidences that led nowhere."

His voice remained measured, but emotion threaded through his words. "Each time we believed we'd found her, each time we were proven wrong, something broke a little more. I cannot—" he caught himself, rearranging his features into practiced neutrality. "I merely suggest we gather more concrete evidence before drawing conclusions."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, understanding flowing between them. "Your caution comes from care, not skepticism."

"As it always has," Seonghwa acknowledged quietly.

Wooyoung huffed exaggeratedly, earning a scowl from Hongjoong. 

"But if it is her," Yunho wondered, returning to the original question, "why hasn't she acknowledged us? Why call herself Ella instead of y/n?"

"Protection," Mingi said softly.

Seonghwa nodded agreement, finding common ground despite his reservations. "Fifteen years in captivity would teach extreme caution. Even if she recognizes us at some level, openly acknowledging the connection would make her vulnerable."

"To what?" Wooyoung demanded. "We're not a threat to her!"

"She can't be certain of that," Hongjoong reminded him. "Think of it from her perspective. If we are the boys from her childhood, why didn't we find her sooner? What took fifteen years? Those questions would naturally create suspicion."

"We searched everywhere," Wooyoung protested, genuine distress in his voice. "Every port, every slave market, every rumor—"

"She doesn't know that," Seonghwa interrupted gently. "She only knows she endured fifteen years of captivity before our paths crossed again."

A heavy silence settled over the table as they absorbed this perspective. The thought of y/n waiting for rescue that never came, possibly believing herself abandoned or forgotten, weighed on each of them differently yet equally.

"There's another possibility," Yunho suggested hesitantly. "Perhaps she doesn't consciously remember us at all."

"That's impossible," Wooyoung objected. "We spent three months together. She gave Hongjoong her teddy bear. How could she forget all that?"

"Trauma," Mingi said, the single word carrying significant weight.

Yunho nodded. "Exactly. Trauma can fragment memory, especially in children. The separation might have been so devastating that her mind protected itself by burying the memories."

"Which would explain the unconscious behaviors," Hongjoong realized, his expression thoughtful. "Habits and preferences that survived when explicit memories were suppressed."

"If that's true," Seonghwa mused, momentarily setting aside his counterarguments, "then her reactions to us would be based on emotional echoes rather than conscious recognition—familiarity without understanding why."

"Or," he added, returning to his role as devil's advocate, "she simply has habits that coincidentally resemble y/n's. We must consider that possibility, however painful."

The concept created a moment of solemn reflection around the table. The possibility that y/n might never fully remember them—or that Ella might not be y/n at all—represented a form of loss none had anticipated when pursuing their oath.

"What do we do?" Wooyoung asked eventually, his usual exuberance subdued by these considerations. "Tell her directly? Show her Mr. Hugs? Try to trigger her memories somehow?"

"No," Hongjoong decided firmly. "If she's concealing her identity deliberately, forcing a confrontation could destroy any chance of rebuilding trust. And if she genuinely doesn't remember, overwhelming her with information could cause more trauma than healing."

"And if she's not y/n at all," Seonghwa added quietly, "we risk creating profound confusion and false connection."

"So we continue as we are?" Yunho asked. "Observing and waiting?"

"For now," the captain confirmed. "We create opportunities for familiarity to grow naturally. If she is y/n, whether she remembers us or not, she deserves the chance to choose when and how to acknowledge that connection."

"And if she never does?" Wooyoung challenged, the question giving voice to their collective unspoken fear. "If Seonghwa is right and she's just a woman who happens to share some habits with the girl we knew?"

Hongjoong's expression remained resolute despite the doubt now visible in his eyes. "Then we honor our oath in a different way. We ensure her freedom and safety, provide her with resources to build whatever future she chooses, and accept that the little girl we knew might remain lost to us, whether this woman is y/n or not."

The others absorbed this possibility with varying degrees of acceptance. Yunho nodded slowly, his gentle nature naturally aligning with the compassionate approach. Seonghwa's expression revealed calculation—already planning how to implement this strategy with maximum effectiveness and minimum risk.

Mingi, as usual, offered no visible reaction, though the slight tension in his shoulders suggested internal conflict. Of all of them, he had been most devastated by y/n's loss fifteen years ago, his already limited speech becoming nearly nonexistent in the months following their separation. The possibility of having found her only to maintain artificial distance—or worse, to be mistaken entirely—clearly troubled him deeply.

Wooyoung appeared ready to protest further but stopped himself, respecting the captain's judgment despite his evident frustration, getting up and storming out. 

Hongjoong let out a deep sigh watching Wooyoung's dramatic display. 

"We need to address practical considerations as well," Seonghwa noted, redirecting the conversation toward manageable problems. "If she is y/n, then her connection to Blackwell takes on new significance. It can't be coincidence."

"You think he knew who she was?" Yunho asked, brow furrowing with concern.

"No, not when he purchased her. A least he didn’t know she had a connection to us. We were children when he purchased her." Hongjoong replied. "But something seems suspicious. After we claimed the ATEEZ and began targeting slave ships, Blackwell would have had reason to investigate our backgrounds."

"Could explain—," Mingi took a breath to speak more. “Why he kept her for so long” He look at Yunho who smiled in support and continued for his friend. "Leverage against potential threats."

"Or insurance against future encounters," Seonghwa agreed. "Though if he knew her significance to us, why transfer her to an associate 2 years ago?"

"Maybe so we wouldn’t find her," Yunho suggested. "Maybe we were getting close to finding her and we didnt know, or the connection to us is pure coincidence."

"I don't believe in coincidences of that magnitude," Hongjoong stated firmly, then hesitated, glancing at Seonghwa. "The man from the Southern Trade Company did seem more angry than disappointed when they lost at the auction. As if he was the one meant to win.”

“You mean the auction was staged? That she was planned to go the someone from the Southern Trade Company?” Yunho said, confusion written on his face as he looked around.

“Many resources went in to education and training for her. Makes sense why he wouldn’t want her to go too far out of his grasp.” Hongjoong said grimly, his fist clenching.

"We need more information," Seonghwa concluded. "About her specific position in Blackwell's household, how she was treated, what she might have overheard about his operations and motivations."

"Precisely the details she's been most careful to avoid discussing," Yunho pointed out. "Her descriptions of Blackwell's organization have been remarkably comprehensive while revealing almost nothing about her personal experiences within it."

"She's protecting herself," Hongjoong acknowledged. "Compartmentalizing trauma is a common survival strategy."

"Then how do we earn enough trust for her to share those experiences?" Wooyoung asked, walking back in after taking a moment to cool down. "If we can't tell her who we think she might be, how do we convince her we're truly on her side?"

"Through consistency," the captain replied. "We demonstrate through actions rather than words that her safety and agency are genuinely respected here. We create an environment where disclosure feels like a choice rather than an obligation."

"And meanwhile," Seonghwa added, "we continue gathering intelligence about Blackwell through other channels. Wooyoung's contacts in Halazia might provide context for her acquisition and subsequent transfer."

"I'll send messages with the morning supply boat," Wooyoung confirmed. "My usual sources at the harbor taverns might know something useful."

"Good," Hongjoong approved. "Yunho, continue with the stargazing plan tomorrow night—it clearly resonates with her and might naturally prompt further disclosure."

"What about Mr. Hugs?" Wooyoung asked. "He's still locked in your sea chest, right?"

Hongjoong nodded, his expression softening at the mention of the teddy bear he'd carried for fifteen years. "For now, he stays secured. Presenting him too soon could seem manipulative rather than sincere."

"Doesn't feel right," Mingi murmured. "Keeping him hidden."

"I know," Hongjoong acknowledged, genuine understanding in his tone. "He's been our talisman for so long. But now he may belong with his true owner again—when she's ready to reclaim him. If she is his owner," he added, Seonghwa's caution influencing his phrasing.

As the meeting concluded and the officers prepared to return to their duties, Seonghwa remained behind with Hongjoong. The quartermaster waited until the others had departed before speaking, his voice pitched for the captain's ears alone.

"Thank you for understanding my position," he said quietly. "It's not that I don't want to believe."

"I know," Hongjoong replied, studying his oldest friend. "You're protecting us the only way you know how—by preparing for disappointment."

Seonghwa nodded, grateful for the understanding. "There's another factor to consider," he continued. "One we haven't addressed directly."

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow in question, though his expression suggested he already anticipated the topic.

"The emotional complications," Seonghwa clarified. "We swore an oath to find y/n, to bring her home. But we were children then, with children's understanding of what that meant."

"And now?"

"Now we're men," Seonghwa stated simply. "Men who've carried the memory of a lost girl into adulthood, transforming that memory in ways we might not fully recognize. I've observed certain... reactions among the crew that suggest our childhood protection has evolved into something more complex."

Hongjoong's gaze sharpened. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

"Nothing improper," Seonghwa assured him. "Merely that our collective oath to protect y/n might now be complicated by individual feelings that extend beyond that original promise. Feelings that could potentially conflict with each other, or with her best interests."

The captain was silent for a long moment, considering this assessment with characteristic thoroughness. "You mean romantic attachment," he said finally, making explicit what Seonghwa had delicately implied.

"It's a natural human response," the quartermaster acknowledged. "We've carried her memory for fifteen years, elevated it to almost mythic significance. Now, confronted with the reality of her as an adult woman rather than the child we lost, certain... adjustments in perspective are inevitable."

"Have you observed specific evidence of such adjustments?" Hongjoong asked, his tone carefully neutral.

"Nothing definitive," Seonghwa replied diplomatically. "But I know our crew, Captain. Better, perhaps, than they know themselves in some respects."

"Including me?" Hongjoong asked, a rare note of challenge in his voice.

Seonghwa met his gaze steadily. "Especially you."

"And that's yet another reason for your caution," Hongjoong realized. "You fear we might be seeing what we wish to see because of these... adjustments in perspective."

"It's a consideration," Seonghwa acknowledged. "Human perception is easily influenced by desire."

Another silence fell between them, heavy with unspoken implications. For fifteen years, their shared purpose had aligned perfectly—find y/n, fulfill their oath, rectify their childhood failure. They had never needed to consider what might follow success, what complications might arise once that unified goal was achieved.

"I appreciate your candor," Hongjoong said finally. "As always, your foresight identifies potential problems before they materialize."

"It's my function," Seonghwa replied simply. "To consider factors you might overlook while focused on broader strategy."

"And your recommendation?"

"Caution," the quartermaster advised. "For all of us. Whether she is y/n or not, she has endured fifteen years of captivity where her autonomy was systematically violated. The last thing she needs now is to become the object of inappropriate attachment from men who should be focused solely on her recovery and reintegration into freedom."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, acknowledging both the wisdom and the implicit warning in Seonghwa's counsel. "I'll speak with the others individually. Discreetly."

"And yourself?" Seonghwa pressed gently.

A flash of something—perhaps defensiveness, perhaps simple recognition—crossed the captain's features before his expression settled into resolute determination. "My only priority is fulfilling our oath. Everything else is secondary."

Seonghwa accepted this declaration without further comment, though his eyes reflected knowing awareness that some questions remained deliberately unaddressed. Their partnership had always balanced Hongjoong's decisive leadership with Seonghwa's meticulous consideration of complex variables—a dynamic that had served the ATEEZ well through countless challenges.

"One final thought," the quartermaster added as he prepared to depart. "Whatever her true identity, whatever her level of recognition, she has already endured profound trauma. We must ensure she never experiences another—regardless of how her presence affects us individually."

"On that," Hongjoong replied with genuine conviction, "we are in complete agreement."

As Seonghwa departed, leaving Hongjoong alone with his thoughts, the captain moved to the small cabinet secured behind his desk. Unlocking it with a key kept on a chain around his neck, he retrieved a compact sea chest inlaid with navigational symbols—a custom piece Mingi had crafted years earlier for a very specific purpose.

Hongjoong opened the chest with careful reverence, revealing its solitary contents: a worn teddy bear missing one eye button, its fabric patched in multiple places, stuffing periodically renewed over fifteen years of constant handling. Though faded and repaired, Mr. Hugs remained unmistakably himself—the faithful companion of a little girl long lost, preserved through years of searching by five boys who refused to forget their promise.

For a long moment, Hongjoong simply gazed at the teddy bear, his expression revealing emotions he allowed no one else to witness. Then, with gentle care, he straightened the worn bow tie around Mr. Hugs' neck—a ritual he had performed thousands of times since that fateful day in Halazia's harbor.

"Is it really you we've found?" he whispered, words meant for the teddy bear alone. "Or are we chasing ghosts again? I wish I knew."

Closing and securing the chest once more, Hongjoong returned it to its cabinet before moving to his navigation table. Whatever the truth about Ella's identity, the ATEEZ still had a mission—undermining Blackwell's operations, disrupting the slave trade, fulfilling the larger purpose that had emerged from their childhood oath.

As the ship sailed onward through darkness, its captain plotted courses both literal and figurative, balancing multiple objectives with the strategic brilliance that had transformed five orphaned cabin boys into the most formidable crew on the seven seas. On the deck below, four officers returned to their duties, each carrying private thoughts about the woman sleeping in the guest cabin—the woman who might or might not be the fulfillment of fifteen years' searching, the living embodiment of their shared defining purpose.

And in her small cabin, Ella slept soundly for the first time in years, unaware of the currents swirling around her, the whispered conferences and careful observations, the complex emotions and doubts her presence had awakened in five men bound by blood oath and shared history. Whatever memories might lie buried in her consciousness, whatever name she might claim as her own, her arrival aboard the ATEEZ had irrevocably altered its course—creating ripples that would eventually touch every aspect of life aboard the black-sailed ship and the men who commanded it.

The compass that had guided them for fifteen years now pointed in new and uncharted directions, leading them all toward a future none could fully anticipate or control.

Morning found Ella waking naturally to sunlight streaming through her small porthole—another luxury after years of schedules dictated by others' convenience rather than her body's needs. For several peaceful moments, she simply lay still, absorbing the gentle rocking of the ship and the distant sounds of morning activity on deck.

The previous day's events replayed through her mind, a collage of interactions that continued to puzzle and intrigue her. The consistent consideration she'd been shown by the ATEEZ's officers defied her expectations based on fifteen years of calculated subjugation. While she maintained healthy skepticism about their motives, she could not deny the growing evidence that these pirates operated according to principles beyond mere self-interest.

Most unsettling were the persistent echoes of familiarity she experienced in their presence—not just collective déjà vu but specific resonances with each officer. Wooyoung's infectious enthusiasm and culinary "magic." Seonghwa's meticulous precision and careful planning. Yunho's gentle guidance and star knowledge. Mingi's quiet competence and protective vigilance. Hongjoong's strategic thinking and subtle leadership.

These qualities seemed fundamental to their characters rather than recently acquired traits. Which suggested either remarkable coincidence or some connection predating current circumstances—a possibility both tantalizing and terrifying in its implications.

If these men were somehow connected to her past before Blackwell, what did that mean for her present situation? Was her "rescue" from the auction house part of some larger design? Were they manipulating her toward purposes she couldn't yet discern?

Or—most unsettling possibility of all—could they possibly be the boys from her most treasured memories? The five children who had protected her aboard another ship, whose nicknames she had recited nightly for fifteen years, whose attempted rescue had failed so catastrophically that she'd been sold into captivity despite their efforts?

The thought seemed simultaneously too coincidental to be probable and too specific to be impossible. Five boys, five men, five names preserved through fifteen years of determined recitation: Joongie, Hwa, Woo, Yuyu, Puppy.

Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Yunho, Mingi.

The parallels were undeniable once she allowed herself to consider them directly. Yet the implications seemed too vast, too significant to accept without absolute certainty. If these pirates were indeed her childhood protectors, why had they not found her sooner? What had occupied the fifteen years between her sale at auction and their current encounter?

And if they recognized her, why maintain the pretense of her being merely a valuable intelligence source about Blackwell? Why not acknowledge their shared history directly?

Unless—and here her thoughts turned toward darker possibilities—they didn't actually care about her specifically. Perhaps she represented merely a symbol to them, an oath unfulfilled, a mission uncompleted. Perhaps their interest lay not in her as a person but in what her rescue represented to their collective identity.

Or worse, perhaps they blamed her in some way for the consequences of their failed rescue attempt. Children's thinking could be surprisingly concrete; perhaps they had interpreted her sale as somehow her fault rather than circumstantial tragedy.

These spiraling speculations led nowhere productive, Ella realized with practiced mental discipline. Without more information, she could not determine the truth of her situation. And information gathering required continued interaction, careful observation, and strategic disclosure.

For today, she would maintain her established approach—providing valuable intelligence about Blackwell while revealing minimal personal details, observing the officers' reactions for additional insight, and remaining alert for opportunities to discover their true motivations.

A knock at her cabin door interrupted these reflections. "Breakfast in the officers' mess whenever you're ready," came Yunho's gentle voice. "No rush—it's deliberately informal this morning."

"Thank you," she replied, appreciating both the information and the implicit respect for her autonomy. "I'll join you shortly."

As she prepared for the day, Ella made a conscious decision to continue the small openings she had begun the previous day—allowing glimpses of her true self to emerge as strategic disclosure rather than vulnerability. If these men were indeed connected to her past, such glimpses might trigger reactions that would confirm or refute her emerging suspicions.

And if they weren't—if all these parallels were merely remarkable coincidence—then she had lost nothing beyond slight emotional exposure that could be recalibrated as necessary.

Either way, the mystery of the ATEEZ and its officers demanded resolution. Fifteen years of survival had taught Ella patience in gathering intelligence, persistence in seeking answers, and caution in forming conclusions. These skills would serve her well as she navigated the complex currents surrounding her unexpected "rescue" and the five men who had orchestrated it.

Whatever game was being played aboard this black-sailed ship, she intended to uncover its rules, identify its players, and determine her own role within it—before committing to any irreversible decisions about her future course.

With that resolution firmly in mind, Ella completed her preparations and headed toward the officers' mess, ready to continue her careful investigation into the mysteries of the ATEEZ and the men who commanded it.

Taglist: @hopeless-lovex0 @frankielou02 @jilxxasu @kur0kki

[mavrintarou]

[11:16 PM] Sakusa Kiyoomi

It's been a while since I last posted about Omi-Omi. Happy (belated) Valentine's Day!

Warning: mild angst but reconciled and happy smut (18+)

.

Kiyoomi set his gym bag in the usual spot of his apartment. Tonight, his home felt unusually cold and empty.

Switching the lights on, he is met with two floating balloons and a bag with red and pink hearts printed all over it.

He let out a chuckle and grabbed the bag, pulling out the tissue paper that was stuffed inside. He found all sorts of chocolate inside, his favorite chocolates.

Happy Valentine’s Day, jerk.

Y/n

Kiyoomi released a deep sigh. He and Y/n had gotten into an argument two nights ago, he couldn’t even remember what it was about. But it was 48 hours of silence from Y/n, 48 hours of emptiness.

The phone line rang repeatedly until it went to her voicemail.

He’s sent her three texts and they were left unread.

“C’mon…” he whispered, pacing around his place. “Pick up, please…”

A click came from the other line and he exhaled, “Y/n, thank goodness, where – “

“Hi, this isn’t Y/n but I’m her coworker!”

Kiyoomi frowned, and growled, “where is Y/n?”

“We are at a company dinner and she’s here… a little intoxicated…”

Kiyoomi could hear mumblings in the background, “… who is it…”

“Where are you guys?” he asked, heading to the shoe rack to put his shoes on.

He heard muffling but couldn’t hear clearly.

“… don’t tell him where I am…”

“… he’s mean and I don’t – I don’t wanna see him right now…”

His heart dropped.

“Hi, hello? Are you still there? Omi? Is this Omi with a white heart emoji next to your name? The Omi that is mean?”

“Yes,” Kiyoomi answered defeatedly, “this is Omi.”

“Look,” whoever this person on the other line whispered, “she keeps saying you are mean and she doesn’t want to see you but I secretly know she does, women to women, she wants to see you… we’re… we’re at the XXXX restaurant.” She paused before whispering loudly, “come get your girl!”

.

Kiyoomi’s strides were only half their usual length, and he inserted a two-second pause between each step. Y/n, with a gloomy mood, followed four feet behind him.

Arriving at the restaurant, he discovered her sitting sadly at the end of the table, all alone. Her colleagues were accompanied by their partners, but Y/n was left by herself. Kiyoomi felt a lump of guilt in his throat; he should have been there with her.

Their most recent argument stemmed from this issue. Y/n had requested him to cut short his training if possible for one night, but he declined, emphasizing the priority of his training.

“I’m simply asking if you could leave an hour earlier, or even thirty minutes early to make it to dinner, if it’s feasible. Can you not even manage that?” Her voice was tinged with angst.

“No, you understand how important my training is. I can’t simply leave early for something like this.”

Something like this…

Now, he felt the full weight of guilt engulfing him.

He halted and glanced back, noticing that Y/n had also come to a stop, gazing into the distance. Following her gaze, he spotted a small shop with claw and capsule machines.

He is reminded of his snarky comment about her liking such stupid things.

Walking up to her, he waited until she looked at him. “Let’s go,” he said jerking his head towards the shop.

Her cheeks were still rosy from the alcohol, her eyes weren’t as lively as they should be. “No,” she grumbles, looking away with a pout. “It’s just stupid stuff,” she attempted to walk around him when he caught her wrist and began tugging her towards the store. “What are you doing?”

He ignores her question and tugs her gently along until they get to the change machine. Stuffing a few bills inside to exchange for tokens. “What would you like?”

She looked at the handful of tokens and then his eyes, and with a weary tone she asked, “why are you doing this?”

“Because you like it and it makes you happy,” his tone is gentle and careful, “and I want to see you happy.” He puts a handful of tokens in her palm. “Go, show me what makes you happy.”

Still pouty, she closed her fingers around the token and walked around him.

Kiyoomi smiled to himself, knowing deep down she was excited.

.

“Are you satisfied with your wins?” He stared at the bag full of plushies and capsule toys.

Y/n nodded, restraining a bright smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Seizing the opportunity, Kiyoomi extended his left hand, asking, “can you hold my hand?” He let out a quite breath when she placed her palm in his. They walked side by side in silence.

“Where are we going?” she asked quietly.

“Let’s go grab some junk food at 7/11 and... my place?” He prayed she would come over but instead, she looked at him as if he had two heads. Chuckling, he knew why she was looking at him weirdly. He was completely against eating any junk food, let alone anything from a convenience store. “A little junk food won’t kill me.”

“It might make you sick though?”

“Shh, don’t jinx me like that.”

.

Sure enough, it did make him feel sick.

All he ate was a cup of instant ramen, and within less than an hour, he started experiencing stomach churning.

“I told you,” Y/n scolded, yet concern was written all over her face. She quickly ushered him to lie down on the couch.

If it meant for Y/n to nurse him and show him affection again, the stomach ache was worth it.

He groaned, “it hurts…”

Digging through her purse, she tried to look for her pill box. “Here, take this medication. It’ll help with the tummy ache.”

He accepted the small pill and popped it into his mouth, taking it down with water. He grabbed her hand, “rub my tummy like you did that one time.”

Y/n hesitated, staring at him suspiciously before reaching to push his shirt up to reveal his abdomen. She ignored the ripples of muscles and put pressure on a certain area of his body.

Kiyoomi groaned, feeling instant relief.

She reached for his hand and placed it with hers, “when you have a tummy ache, always press this pressure point.”

She was about to stand up when he stopped her. Panicking he asked, “wait, where are you going?”

“I’m just going to make you some rice soup.”

He still pouted, watching her walk away to his kitchen.

A few minutes later, she returned with a bowl of steaming contents. “Bland, just the way you like it,” she mentioned, taking a seat on the edge of the couch. “How is your stomach feeling?”

“It’ll feel a lot better if you do it…”

Y/n scoffed and slapped his hand away, “you’re such a baby.”

“Correction, I’m your baby…”

Y/n narrowed her eyes at him, “who are you and what have you done to Kiyoomi?”

Kiyoomi’s lips turned downwards. “Omi…” he corrected quietly. When she doesn’t respond he bites his lips nervously. “I’m sorry.”

Her brow raised, and she looked at him as if she didn’t comprehend what he was saying.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, louder this time. “I have been a jerk and insensitive to you… I have not been compromising and mean to you and I’m sorry,” he bowed his head. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore. I’ll do better, I promise. Please don’t leave me.” His voice cracked at his last part of his sentence.

“Leave you? Who said I was leaving you?”

“But you didn’t want to see me?”

Y/n frowned, confused. “When did I say that?”

“Earlier on the phone, I heard you telling your coworker that you didn’t want to see me…” very quietly he added, “that hurt my feelings.” He felt childish but he wanted to be honest.

“I didn’t want to see you is very different from I’m leaving you,” Y/n clarified. She sighed, running a hand through her hair before reaching for the bowl of soup. She blew to cool the spoonful of soup before bringing it to his mouth. “I said that I didn’t want to see you because I knew I would give in and forgive you.”

He swallows the soup before asking, “please forgive me?”

“I saw your face so I already forgave you.”

He couldn’t ignore the cheering in his mind. “Do you really mean it? You forgive me for being a jerk?”

“Yes, you jerk.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But you called yourself that too?” Y/n countered, shoving a spoonful of soup into his mouth. “Eat and feel better.”

Kiyoomi smiles, “… kiss me, that would really make me feel better.”

The corner of her lips tugged upward, “you sly jerk…”

He sits up, bringing his face close to hers. “Please, a kiss?”

She pecks his lips.

He pouted, “that’s not a kiss.”

“Yes it is, my lips touched yours.”

He blinked and then frowned, “that was hardly a kiss…”

Y/n raised a brow, challenging him, “then what’s a kiss to you then?”

And he showed her.

He cupped her face, tilting it before pressing his lips against hers. As soon as she gasped, he slipped his tongue in, meeting hers in a tango.

“Omi…” Y/n breathed, pushing him away to catch a breath.

His lips continued to her jaw and down her neck. “Please Y/n…” he begged, tugging at her tucked-in dress shirt. He pulls away and looks at her with dark pupils, waiting for her consent.

She launched at him, knocking him onto his back once more. Her mouth moved hungrily against his as she tugged at his clothes.

“I’m not going anywhere…” he chuckled.

“You will be if you don’t take help take our clothes off…”

Their clothes lay carelessly on the ground seconds later.

Y/n raised herself and straddled his lap. She rocked her hips, gliding her pussy along the length of his cock.

Kiyoomi hissed loudly as his hands gripped her hip tightly, nails digging into her hip bone. “Don’t –“ he choked, “don’t tease me…” He didn’t miss the smirk on her lips.

Having enough of not being inside of her already, Kiyoomi flipped them and shifted her underneath him. His hand found one of hers and threaded their fingers together, clasping tightly. He searched her eyes and she answered by lifting her hips.

“Haa, you’re going to be the death of me,” he sank his cock into her sweet pussy.

He waited a few seconds, savoring the intimate bond. Kiyoomi peers down at her before pressing his forehead against hers and without breaking eye contact, he whispers, “I love you.”

He doesn’t express those three words as frequently as he ought to, but he can observe the way her eyes illuminate when he does. “I love you, Y/n…” he repeated, rocking his hips slowly but deeply. “I know I don’t say it often enough for you but you are my everything… and I never want to be without you again…”

Y/n released a soft whimper and cupped his face, connecting their lips. “I love you too, Omi…”

It was soft lovemaking.

Each rock of his hips was gentle with care, with love.

“Let’s cum together?”

Y/n nodded, tightening her arms around his shoulders and soon their bodies trembled in release.

Kiyoomi pulls Y/n up and they sit down, still connected very intimately. He reached for the bag of chocolate, took a piece, and unwrapped it before placing it into her mouth. Then, he helped himself to a piece as well.

“Thank you for the chocolate,” he murmurs.

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Omi.”

. . .

E/n: Going back to Teo now...

>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy