#We get a lot of different people here that get to come together

[snailune]

Here's how I've planned to help myself with this in the new year.

I'm not, you know, any person of real authority on anything this covers, but maybe my plans could help you. I don't believe there is ever an expiration on getting yourself back, or making a new self from the old.

1. Acknowledging why you became a ghost is important in treating yourself like a person. From what I've seen, it's more common to have multiple issues than just one when it comes to losing or not knowing yourself. It's more likely been something that has served you at some point that isn't anymore, or went too far, or something out of your immediate control. Acknowledging this is the first step to understanding that you are not a permeable thing, that cause and effect happen to you. If you've lost enough to believe that the things you do have no effect on the world, the first step in getting that sense back is this.

2. Are you safe? Judge whether you are materially unsafe from expressing yourself in any way that could come up. If you are, you might not be able to do everything in it's full capacity, but you will be able to tear down some constructs in your own head to be more yourself. You can still do something. It's important to note that you'll probably feel the urge to hide away or suppress things when you first start expressing yourself, but that is a bit different than being unsafe.

3. Stop the urge to hide all of your dislikes from yourself and start small. Allow yourself to dislike something (a food, maybe?) and don't try to force your will to be tolerant of it, even if you don't express that dislike to other people yet.

4. If you're transgender, and have the will and means to, transition. Pick out a name and only use it to refer to yourself when thinking. Ask trusted friends to call you something different to test it out. If you're questioning, allow yourself to think about how you want to be perceived without the fear of someone reaching in and judging you for them. There is no thought you can be punished for. Of course, you can do bigger things, like starting medically transitioning if you want (and that is encouraged), but you can start small if it's scary, too. I don't think there's one thing on this list that has worked better for me than medically and socially transitioning.

5. Look back on what you liked as a child and try it out again. Not everything will be winners, there's some things that were just better in the past than now, but you might rekindle something that is near to you enough to call a personality trait, too. If you don't have any memory of the things you liked in your youth, it's the perfect time to explore things, especially if they're hobbies that everyone else has seemed to be doing since childhood.

6. Be more social, and/or ask your friends to reassure you that they know you. Talking to people in any capacity can help make yourself feel more like a real person if you connect at all. If you have trusted friends, ask them if they'd list some traits about you that they know of. Help establish a foundation of moving around in the world.

7. Take special notice in the little things you like. I just realized I like cut up raw veggies instead of a lot of Actual prepared dishes. Thinking of this as a fun journey rather than something someone should have figured out about themselves years ago makes it easier.

These are in essence my resolutions for the new year. If you are also going through something similar, we are in this together! Good luck to you, I hope you find joy, happiness, and contentment.

oooohhhh ok. the more you deny yourself the more you lose yourself

[sidestepsam]

hey this is so random but idk if yk the nakay girl on tiktok but she’s met the team a good amount of times and she just posting a video kinda saying she doesn’t really believe in pazzi.

what’s your opinion on that? she’s quite young so idk hahaha

This is a good opportunity to share my thoughts on this.

It is true that they do a lot of things that female best friends do with each other. They’ve also always called each other best friend, etc. so I can understand why a lot of people, especially if they’re not deeply into the lore, may truly think they’re just BFFs. That being said, there’s a very big difference between being unsure/not caring and being a denier. I don’t have an issue with people not being convinced they’re together, if anything I respect it because they’re just waiting for hard evidence. I do, however, have issues with deniers for multiple reasons:

1. It usually comes from a place of heteronormativity and or homophobia.

There’s a lot of people that see being straight as a must have in the mold of the perfect role model and I believe that is applied to Paige especially. Straight men also think this way but from a different perspective. Rather than being worried about them being role models, they’re in denial that P and A aren’t for them. Azzi also gets it because she’s conventionally feminine and a lot of ignorant people think that to be gay as a woman you have to be masculine.

2. It comes from a place of wanting to come of as morally above others.

This is what I think that chick is doing. I’ve never liked her, I think she has a weird parasocial situation going on to the point that she’s developed a weird sense of ownership. This girl knows them just as much as the rest of us do. She’s only met them in public, organized events that of course would not have any outwardly Pazzi situation happening. Literally two videos after that one she’s in literal tears over the game. Of course we all felt it, but to actually cry and film it? Be fr.

Lastly, and sorry if this is rude, but A LOT of these people are literal children. Even some of you on here I can tell are kids/teenagers. That age group knows nothing about reading romantic social cues especially when there’s gay undertones involved. They’ve also never been in relationships. It’s the same reason why they make entire love edits out of P & A looking at each other for 2 seconds and caption it as the most romantic thing they’ve ever seen.

All I’m going to say is that if P or A did exactly what they do with each other with a dude, absolutely no one would question that that dude was their bf. So in conclusion, we will see in 3 months (hopefully) who gets the last laugh 😭💀

[bwat5-blog]

Caitlyn & Violet: A Deeper Look

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Recently I reached out to the community asking for some requests on angles/ideas/topics and so on that anyone would be interested in my analysis on. A few of you amazing folks responded for which I am extremely grateful. @phoenixlionme asked me to delve into a few points I have never discussed at all, regarding Caitlyn Kiramman, and the way she connects to Vi's heritage and past.

Caitlyn as a bridge between cities

Caitlyn's similarities to Vi's loved ones

Caitlyn compared to the leaders of Zaun (for Clarity @phoenixlionme phrased it as people Sevika has followed, this is just an easier way for me to approach it in my head)

So! to that end, I will be digging into these ideas and expanding my own insight into this wonderful character. As I am so fond of saying, good stories matter. And the continued exploration and discussion of this story and it's characters will help it live on. Thank you.

Caitlyn As The Bridge Between Cities:

When the story begins, Caitlyn and Vi could not be from more different worlds. Vi's life is poisoned with violence and loss, even witnessing the deaths of her birth parents at the hands of Enforcers. In that opening scene, they are monstrous. Emerging from smoke and shadow, dealing death and pain all hidden behind cold unfeeling masks. Her childhood in Zaun has made her a hardened survivor even at such a young age.

But in the sunny streets of Piltover, where Caitlyn has been raised, the Enforcers are smiling, happy symbols of peace and safety. Caitlyn is the daughter and heir to one of the great houses of Piltover. Her name means innovation, wealth and respect. She receives shooting lessons from the sheriff of Piltover herself. She joins the enforcers when she comes of age because the reality she has known has only ever taught her to view them as a force for good.

But of course as the story commences we see these two individuals from totally different worlds come together. Their realities joined in ways both good and bad. So let's dig into this further, starting with the simple stuff.

Vi-

Well to state the obvious, Caitlyn is love with the birth daughter of one of the architects of Zaun, and the eldest adopted daughter of another. Although Vi's place in Zaun likely feels unsteady to her after all that occurs in Season 2, it seems logical to suggest that during the reconstruction efforts after the war and during the restitution efforts towards her people she and Caitlyn's relationship will help bridge the gap in general.

Sevika-

At the end of season two, Caitlyn has given the seat of house Kiramman to none other than Sevika of Zaun. People have done just about everything in their power to pretend this doesn't matter. It does. It just does. I know there were people hoping to see the Piltover elite lined up and executed by firing squad, while Jinx reigned supreme over the flames and was served tea by a chained and forcibly blinded Caitlyn, all while Vi excoriated herself with a flail and sang Jinx's praises loudly for all to hear. But for those of us who were never fitted for our tinfoil hats, this is a massive step.

The council hold the highest positions of power in the twin cities. And now because of Caitlyn, one of them belongs to the undercity. She has literally created a link between the two surrendering her own families power and giving it to the undercity who have never had that voice before. It isn't all encompassing change because that isn't real. It's a first powerful step made by someone with all the power, to start bridging the divide.

The Commander -

Alright. Now we start getting into the more complex part of her relationship with Zaun. Caitlyn's arc is immensely complex and controversial and there is a lot of depth and nuance to this part of her story. I have written about this in HEAVY.. HEAVY DETAIL. So if you would like to see that I would love for you to check it out. But for our purposes here I am going to keep to the basics. Because to discuss how I feel the aftermath of this will lead to her having more of a connection with the Undercity, we at least need to go over what happened. To begin with, lets do a very quick barebones rundown:

Born in Piltover

Entered Zaun with Vi

Reentered Zaun leading strike team. Hunting chem-barons, Jinx, and Shimmer.

Becomes The Commander

Occupation Of Zaun

The War

The Strike Team:

Now, on a logical level only, the strike team did not do anything wrong. The Chem-Barons were dangerous drug lords. Shimmer is an absolute threat to all of the Undercity. And while there is obviously so much more to be said about Jinx, for their purposes they are hunting a dangerous terrorist who just assassinated three of their leaders. Yes. For logic based purposes only this does also includes the Grey. I have beat this horse to death, kicked it while it's down, revived it, and shot it in the head. I am not doing it again here. So I will just say that on a purely logical level, using a non-lethal crowd dispersal weapon on specific targets while hunting dangerous crime lords and a terrorist who likes things that go boom.... Not the worst idea.

The real issue with the strike team's actions, can be discussed in two points:

Caitlyn's motivation-

"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow

I would rather die alone" (Hellfire Arcane)

The problem is that Caitlyn did not lead her team into the undercity to liberate it's people. She did so for revenge. Each action pushing her further and further into her rage and pain. So even though her actions were "pure" her intention was driven by hate.

2. History with Piltovan Oppression-

As stated, the goals of the strike team were pure. And on a purely logic based level, the fan reaction to the grey has been hyperbolic to say the least. The problem is in the history. Uniformed Enforcers using a weapon that no matter how overblown the reaction does make people choke and cough and possibly pass out. It's all just too reminiscent of what the Undercity has been through before.

The Occupation:

So despite this being a massive part of this story, for our purposes here there is not a terrible amount to say. As very rough overview:

Caitlyn has become commander over the two cities during a period of Martial Law.

Ambessa Medarda rules from the shadows using Caitlyn as her scape goat.

All of Zaun has been placed under full occupation until Jinx is found. Dissenters are jailed, there are checkpoints, and it seems as though the Noxian "peace keeping forces" are being as brutal as possible. Therefore driving dissent and anger to even higher levels allowing Ambessa more time to achieve her goals.

Occupation ends when Caitlyn realizes how she had lost her way, turns on Ambessa, and the occupation ends in the days leading up to the final battle.

The issue of course is that Ambessa's part in this aside, Caitlyn was the face of it. And as I have said from the beginning, I am NOT attempting to absolve Caitlyn of her responsibility in what happened. Some portion of our fandom have essentially chosen to pretend Ambessa just strolled in, and offered Caitlyn the job of despot while they held hands and skipped through the torture camps together. You and I know better. But the people of Zaun lived it. And they don't have the benefit of having seen everything we saw and understanding all of Caitlyn's story. So at the end of the day Caitlyn is the face of the oppressive regime that made their lives hell for a few months.

How They Move Forward:

Okay. So tying it all together how could "Commander Caitlyn Kiramman" possibly become a bridge between cities with everything that has happened? Because they are all moving forward. I am not pretending that it is anywhere close to over. In fact as I said earlier when discussing Sevika it is just a step. But Zaunite and Piltovan alike saw Caitlyn almost give her life to end Ambessa. And the two cities fought side by side against the threat to all life that Viktor posed. So moving forward:

Caitlyn is married to a famous Zaunite.

She has given Zaun their first real step toward equality.

Her guilt is going to drive her to keep working to make things better for the Undercity. It doesn't take deep character analysis to see that.

She is a Kiramman. Despite her perversion of her families work with the ventilation during her darkest moments, she has all of that knowledge now. I predict she will keep working alongside Vi to find ways to make things right.

I know people have felt quite strongly that the show didn't do enough to resolve Piltover VS Zaun. But I think people need to remember that as insane and epic as it was, this show was essentially a prequel to our time in this world. There is so much more to come. Caitlyn is a young woman who has made mistakes, but I predict will go on to do great things for Piltover and Zaun both. After all, if the right hand woman of the man who unleashed shimmer on their streets can become their voice in government, and the feared and insane terrorist daughter of Silco can become their hero, maybe their former oppressor can become one of their greatest allies.

Caitlyn's Similarities To Vi's Loved Ones:

This is an interesting one! I honestly had never even considered this sort of thing but when I started digging there are many qualities of those Vi loves that are all collected with Caitlyn Kiramman. I'm sure you could do a massive list for this sort of thing so this is just some ones that stuck out to me.

Jinx:

The parallels between these two characters have become quite well known at this point and for good reason. Their intertwining stories are a massive part of this show and impact both of their characters greatly. But in terms of her connection to Vi, I have one I really want to focus on.

Putting Vi First: Both Jinx and Caitlyn go through a tremendous amount of suffering over the course of this story. Their stories are so in-depth, and complex and layered. And over the course of their stories, they both hurt Vi terribly (obviously there is more to it, there is a lot of nuance to these situations and I'm not dumping on Caitlyn or Jinx. Just staying on topic). But for two characters who are at one point almost sworn enemies, when it comes to addressing the pain of one they love, they are remarkably similar.

Caitlyn- So much happens between Caitlyn and Vi. But when it comes down to it, with Vi angry over Jinx's imprisonment and Caitlyn and Vi still far from totally reconciled, how does Cait makes things right? She gives Vi the choice. She clears the way for her to free Jinx if she chooses. Even knowing that that Vi could take Jinx and vanish forever if she chose, and Caitlyn would never hold Vi in her arms again. She puts Vi first. Even though it could be the end of her.

Jinx- Good lord talk about complicated. The relationship between the sisters is beautiful and heartbreaking in equal measure. There is so much on both sides, but when the moment I want to discuss comes, Vi has come to free Jinx from prison. Jinx knows that Vi has lived a life, consumed by guilt over everything that has occurred. Vi has never allowed herself to choose her own happiness for a variety of reasons. So what does Jinx do? She forces Vi to let her go. She locks her in the cell and gives Vi the permission Vi would never have been able to give herself. She tells her she deserves to be happy, to be with Caitlyn. Because in that moment of terrible sorrow even with all that Jinx is suffering, her eyes are finally opened to how much she loves Vi, and how much Vi loves her.

2. Vander:

Much like Vi and Caitlyn, at first glance it seems almost laughable to try and find common ground between "The Hound Of The Underground", and "The Leader Of House Kiramman". But if we really dig into it, the similarities emerge. In fact far more than I ever would have guessed.

A: Both do something they regret in a moment of deep loss and pain to someone they love.

Vander- We really are never given all the specifics, but whatever Silco became, Vander completely owned his regret and remorse over trying to take Silco's life.

Caitlyn- In that horrible moment after ventilation chamber battle, Caitlyn clubs the woman she loves in the stomach with her rifle stock and abandons her crying in the dark. I could write pages on the evidence of her remorse (and have written quite a bit) but you get the idea.

B: Both can see the truth of Vi's worth.

Vander- "You have a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you"

Caitlyn- "Despite it all I can tell.. you have a good heart"

This is especially impactful given Vi's struggle to see the worth and value in this part of herself as her story continues.

C: "When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.. whatever happens. It's on you".

Vander- At the moment he is in Silco's clutches, facing death. Vander does not beg for his life. He simply asks Silco to spare the lanes. Spare the Undercity. His self sacrifice continues all through the heartbreaking series of events that follow. Attacking the shimmer mutant, taking shimmer himself to save Vi, and blocking Vi's body with own during the fall.

Caitlyn- Now of course, it would be completely out of character for Caitlyn. But thinking about in strictly what is possibly, Caitlyn had just about any other option if she did not want to stay and fight Ambessa. Let alone on the front line. She knows she played a part it everything going so wrong, and rather than using her wealth and power to escape the fighting, she plants her feet and faces down the devil who almost took her soul forever. Never-mind the fact that she rips that knife out of her own body to help finish Ambessa, knowing full well that may well be the end of her.

*Caitlyn laying down her hate for Jinx in favor of her love for Vi works here as well*

Caitlyn's Reflection Of The Leaders Of Zaun:

Each of the three here have in some way shape or form been leaders to the people of the Undercity. And for a character who became such a figure of oppression to the people of Zaun, Caitlyn Kiramman shares a lot with all three of these figures. We have discussed Vander and Jinx. But I wanted to talk about Silco for a moment:

Finding "Strength" out of pain:

Silco- In the wake of Vander's betrayal, he reinvents himself. Believing only in the strength needed to destroy those he views as his enemy. Even if it means betraying every ideal he ever had.

Caitlyn- In the wake of her mothers loss and her separation from Vi, she becomes someone the old her would have despised under Ambessa's tutelage. Becoming a better fighter, gaining "control" over two cities, and learning to be ruthless. But in fact surrendering everything about her that made her who she is.

The Difference however, is Caitlyn sees the truth. Because of a variety of factors she sees how far she is fallen and that she has betrayed her belief and her ideals. She sheds her own blood alongside those willing to fight for her to protect all people regardless of the city of their birth. She finds the true strength that Silco couldn't.

Conclusion:

Sorry for the GIF-a-palooza but every time I think about her character her story gets me more and more. She truly goes through so much, learns, changes, falls down and picks herself back up. Thank you again to @phoenixlionme for this opportunity to delve deeper into her character and get me thinking in ways I hadn't considered! I hope some of this may lend itself to peoples understanding of this incredible character and if not hopefully at least the enjoyment of the show. Thank you to anyone taking time out of your day in this mad world to read the writing of a grouchy nerd like me. You will probably never know how much I appreciate it.

Keep standing up for stories that matter. See ya next time.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ Ending 2 ~ 53

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,790ish

Summary: You, Laura, and Logan restart your lives in 2024.

Notes: Apparently, people thought that the last chapter was the end. We still have some chapters left people! Please share reactions! Please remember to review the timeline posted here.

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!

Though Wade was insistent that you, Laura, and Logan could live in his two bedroom apartment with his roommate Althea, you weren’t going to have that. After two nights of sleeping in the extra bedroom with Laura while Wade and Althea slept together and Logan slept on the couch, you were grateful that the two bedroom next door was available, allowing you and Laura to move in there. Not that Wade allowed you any privacy now that you had your own apartment.

“Morning, Buttercup and little wolf!” He exclaimed as he barged into your apartment after the first night you and Laura stayed in it. “It’s party day!”

“Morning, Wade,” you muttered, not fully awake yet.

“So what are you wearing to the party tonight? A sexy dress? A casual sweater? A—“

“I’m not going to your party, Wade.”

“What? Why would you break my heart like that? I already told all my readers that you’ll be there!”

“I’m not up for it,” you shrugged. “I start my job at the bar nearby tomorrow and I want to be well rested.”

“It’s not a party, party! It’s more like a large family dinner!”

You shook your head. “Sorry, Wade, I’m not going.” You walked out of the room and down the hall.

Wade sighed and looked at Laura. “Are you coming?”

“Yep,” she nodded. 

“At least there’s one of you I don’t have to convince.”

~~~

Laura knocked on your open door. Wade had left a while ago, but Laura had allowed you some time alone before coming to talk.

“Hey, kiddo,” you shot her a smile as you organized your room, still setting things up. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” she responded.

You sighed. You should have known Laura would figure that something was up. You had felt off since returning to this timeline—to 2024— and had begun to retreat into yourself. You were restarting your life, yet again. Your body still ached from using your powers. You knew that a younger version of you and your original Logan were currently living in the mansion, happily. A different Logan lived next door that you had mixed feelings towards. You now had an annoyingly nosy neighbor who was a doppelgänger from your X-Team member. Not to mention Blind Al, who was constantly high or that you still had a teenager that you loved dearly and had to take care of. Everything was getting to be overwhelming.

“I’m fine, Laura,” you told her. “There’s a lot going on—a lot that has happened. It’s going to take me a while to get used to it all… But I’m sure you’re feeling similarly.”

Laura nodded, coming over to sit on your bed. “It’s just… it’s him, but it’s not. Like they look similar and they talk similar. But…” You stopped what you were doing as she paused, coming over to sit beside her. “He doesn’t look at me with that annoyance that dad did… he… he sees… me. And I know he will never replace dad but it’s still nice.”

You slung an arm over Laura’s shoulders and pulled her into your side. “Your father… he cared about you in his own way.”

“I know.”

“And I know that he was harsh and mean and I wish I had the extra time to yell at him about it… I’m sorry that he wasn’t who he should have been.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for him, mom.”

“But I do�� especially since he’s not here to do it.” Though, in the back of your mind you thought about how he wasn’t all that far away at all. Currently, in the mansion, with you.

“I will forever be grateful for him… for his sacrifice… for you.”

“I’m grateful for you, too.” You kissed her head before resting your head against hers. You sighed. “I can’t go to the party… Wade’s invited people from the mansion. I just… I can’t see them. Not yet.”

“Wade’s not going to be happy about it. He let you have a break this morning, but you know he’s going to throw a fit.”

“I know. But I’ll just be honest with him.”

“I think Logan will be disappointed too.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“Is he another reason you’re not going?”

“Yes… it’s just weird… he has his face and his eyes, but not… he doesn’t have the same memories at all… It’s going to take some getting used to.”

“I should stay home with you.”

“No. You need to go have fun. Make friends. Keep Logan and Wade in line and then come home and tell me all about it.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

~~~

Logan had stuck to his new room for a majority of the day, drinking. It was weird being in a world that was similar to his own but also completely different. Here, the X-Men were alive and revered. The Wolverine was a hero. Something that he had never truly been. There was also the fact that he had people who believed in him again and he was terrified to let them down like he had with the others. 

Then there was you. Something inside of Logan was drawn to you. It wasn’t romantically, not yet anyway. But he wanted to be near you, get to know you, be friends. Just from what he had seen and heard in the brief interactions the two of you had, Logan knew that you were a strong woman, who had been through a lot. You had clearly raised a great daughter, who wasn’t even yours by blood. And you were different then the you from his universe. Though he didn’t know if you wanted to get to know him at all.

Logan exited his room when he heard others arrive. Wade quickly had to explain to the others (especially Colossus, Yukio, and Negasonic Teenage Teenage Warhead who lived at the mansion) why there was another Logan. Laura had already spoken to Wade before in private, threatening him to not speak about you with the others just yet.

Everyone was laughing and telling stories while Logan noticed Wade looking longingly at Vanessa. He reached over and took Mary Puppins from him.

“Give me the fucking dog,” he muttered. “Talk to the girl.”

Logan turned so he was facing Laura better, giving Wade and Vanessa some privacy. Laura smiled at gave Mary Puppins a pet. Logan’s eyes glanced around the room, his small smile fading when he realized who was missing.

“Kid, where’s your mom?” He asked Laura. “She runnin’ late or somethin’?”

Laura shook her head. “She’s not coming,” she answered.

“What? Why?”

The young woman sighed. “She’s… struggling. It’s not easy coming back to a time when you know your younger self is living happily with your husband not too far from here.”

Logan hadn’t even thought of that. Yes, he knew the rules the TVA had for you to come back to 2024, but he hadn’t taken them as seriously as maybe he should have. He couldn’t even imagine the turmoil you must be going through. Logan focused back on Laura, quickly realizing that she may be dealing with something similar.

“Are you, uh, okay?” He asked.

Laura was taken by surprise. “I’m getting there. It’s different for me though.”

Logan nodded, not wanting to press any further. His eyes fell to the pizza box in front of him. “Does your mom like pizza?”

~~~

You could hear the hustle and bustle of Wade’s party next door. You had pushed Laura out the door and locked it. The apartment seemed empty, overwhelmingly so though you knew it was just your mind playing tricks. As the anxiety seeped in, you were able to get yourself to the couch on shaky legs. You began to go through a breathing routine as you tried to keep your powers at bay. It wouldn’t be any good to anyone if you burned down the apartment already.

Your hands balled into fists as you could feel them begin to heat up. Tears slipped down your face as you tried to focus on not forming flames. A burning sensation ripped through your hands, causing you to snap them open. Instead of forming flames as you were trying hard to avoid, your hands were burning. Burn marks and blisters were appearing on the skin of your hands.

A timid knock on the door had your head snapping in that direction, eyes wide. You held your breath, waiting for the person to leave, but they only knocked again.

“Y/N,” Logan’s voice broke through the door, “It’s, uh, me. Logan. Laura told me that you weren’t coming to the party so I brought some pizza over.”

If you had been in the right frame of mind, you would have found it cute that he brought you food. But instead you were in pain and panicked that he could break the door down and see your hands. You stood up quickly and stumbled to the kitchen, biting down on your lip as you shoved your hands under cold water.

Logan could hear movement from the other side of the door. His brows pinched together as he moved his ear closer to listen in. There was a brief scent of smoke along with the sound of your stumbling feet and rushing water. Perhaps you burnt something on accident.

“You okay in there?” He asked. You bit down on your lip harder. “Need any help?” You remained as quiet as you could. Logan sighed. 

Laura had said that you were struggling. Even told him that it had to do with your husband of the same name and face. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea for him to come over.

“I’m going to leave the pizza on the rug,” he told you. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Logan set the plate of food down before heading back to his apartment. He spared your door one last glance before he slipped back into the party.

You on the other hand, were still in the kitchen, trembling. You turned off the water and grabbed a hand towel to place your hands on. With both hands burnt and no first aid kit, you didn’t know what to do next. You definitely couldn’t let Laura come home to find you like this. Maybe if you just went to bed, your body would heal itself by morning. That seemed like the best option.

~~~

“Thanks for the fun, Wade,” Laura said as she headed out the door. 

“That’s for not being a party pooper like your mom,” he commented. “She owes me, especially since all my readers were expecting something juicy tonight.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped into the hallway. Her face fell when she noticed the plate of pizza sitting there. Logan peeked his head out, disappointed when he saw the same thing.

“Let us know if either of you need anything,” he quietly said before heading to his room.

Laura nodded and headed to the apartment door. She picked up the plate before unlocking the door and slipping inside. The place was dark and you weren’t anywhere to be seen. Laura put the pizza away in the fridge before heading down the hall. She stopped by your room and tried to open the door, only to find it locked. She sighed, debating on whether or not to wake you. Deciding to not, Laura went to her room and got ready to bed. Her thoughts were focused on you and how there was a possibility that you were doing worse than even she knew.

~~~

You were grateful that you were able to get some sleep. But you woke up and the burns were still on your hands. As quickly and quietly as you could, you threw on a jacket and left the apartment, hands buried in the pockets. You walked to the nearest store, buying burn cream, gauze, wrap, pain killers, and multiple sets of gloves.

When you returned to the apartment, Laura was up.

“Hey, mom,” she greeted, looking at you with concern. “Where were you?”

“I just had to get a few things from the store,” you told her, heading towards the bathroom.

“Are you okay?”

You stopped and looked back at her, forcing a smile that you knew she wouldn’t believe. “I’m fine.”

“Mom…”

“I need to get ready for work. I start today and have to go in early to fill out paperwork.” Then you disappeared into the bathroom.

~~~

You were glad that no one had yet to question why you were wearing gloves in May. You got to your new job at the bar near by, painfully filled out the paperwork, and then got training. You tried to mask the fact that your hands hurt with every little movement by focusing on what your manager was telling you. Your manager sent you home before the rush, telling you to rest up and you’ll work it tomorrow.

Laura was in the kitchen making dinner when you returned home.

“Hey mom,” she greeted with a smile. “How was work?”

“Exhausting,” you replied, shooting her a smile. You walked over and sat at the table. “It will be a good thing though. How was your day?”

“Fine. Wade came home, insisting on help me set up my room. Claimed it to be bonding time.”

You laughed. “I’m sure he was great help.”

“Oh, so much,” she laughed. “And—wait, mom, are you wearing gloves?” She came over to you. “Why are you wearing gloves?”

“I’m fine, Laura. Just—“

“Are you cold?” The fear in her eyes hand your heartbreaking. She knew that you being cold wasn’t a good thing.

“No, no, that’s not it.” You took a deep breath, knowing that you couldn’t keep it from her. “Could you, uh, pull off the gloves for me?”

Laura sat down and gently pulled off your gloves. Her eyes widened upon seeing the bandages that had spots of blood and ooze. She carefully unwrapped one of your hands to see the damage.

“Mom… when—Why?” She said quietly.

“I was trying to prevent my hands from going up in flames,” you explained. “But it looks like I just made it worse.”

“Is it healing?”

“It looks slightly better than last night. So it’s healing, just slowly.”

You and Laura jumped as the door slammed open. Wade waltzed in with Logan trailing behind. You quickly stuffed your hands between your thighs to hide the damage. 

“My two favorite girls!” Wade exclaimed. “Is dinner ready?”

“Almost,” Laura mumbled, heading back to the stove. 

“Well, Buttercup,” Wade plopped into the seat beside you, “we sure missed you last night.”

“I’m sure it was a lot of fun,” you said, standing. You stuffed your hands into your pant pockets with a wince. Logan noticed. “I’m going to go wash up before dinner.”

They all watched as you walked down the hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

“What can we do to help?” Logan offered. Laura could sense that the question had multiple meanings: help with dinner and help with you.

Laura shook her head, opting to remain silent. Logan grew more concerned. Wade and him had clearly interrupted something. Wade told stories as Laura finished dinner and getting it on the table and you took your time in the bathroom. When you finally reappeared, you had new compression gloves on your hands. 

“What’s with the gloves Elsa?” Wade asked, immediately noticing them. “Or I guess the opposite of Elsa since you deal with fire and she—“

“I’ve just been having some pain,” you brushed him off. “I’m fine.”

You glanced over and Logan who was looking at you like he didn’t believe you. You looked away. What was with Logan’s and seeing right through you? Wade took over the dinner conversation, allowing you to focus on eating and ignoring your problems. Logan kept stealing glances at you throughout the dinner, noting the way your hands had begun to shake, even just subtly. 

“Thanks for dinner, Laura,” Logan said as he grabbed his plate and stood up. He quickly swiped your plate up too. “Wade and I can handle clean up.”

“You don’t have to,” you said, shaking your head. 

“I know.”

~~~

Laura lingered in your doorway as she watched you rewrap your hands. Tears fell down your cheeks and onto your hands.

“Mom,” Laura whispered, coming to sit beside you.

“I’m so sorry, Laura,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“You’re going to have to deal with me and my dwindling ability… And I… Soon I won’t be able to make those flames for you anymore…”

Laura wrapped you up in a hug. “I don’t need your flames, mom… I just need you.”

next chapter >

[teaguehq]

I'm glad you have more an appreciation for Calgary for staying here with me! And aside from the cold, I have to admit it's a nice city for all the fun things we've had the chance to see together. Seeing them with you makes them all the more fun, of course. That works out perfectly because I love attending your premieres and especially getting to see your projects on the big screen! I just know how much you put into your work, so it's no surprise it ends up being something special. People like a man in uniform for a reason, and I'm sure I'll be no different when I see Warfare, which you know I'm excited to see! I'm so happy you're not having to work either, and that I'm getting a little vacation for the holidays. It gave me the chance to finally drag you down to Florida with me, which I'm so happy you wanted to! Besides, we were due some warm weather after all that cold in Calgary and New York, don't you think? We can definitely think of a fun Halloween costume for next year, though closer to so we can match whichever ones are popular at the time if we'd like to. I'm sure it'll be just as fun dressing up with you again as it was this year! I appreciate that you'll always be understanding about distance when it comes to our relationship, and it certainly puts my mind at ease about ever losing you to that. Plus it means the world to me that we can celebrate our achievements together, including landing new roles! I can't help that being in your arms is so comforting, especially after a long day on set, so it's a good thing you don't mind the clinginess! You're already thinking up some new dates to plan? Because you know I'm interested in hearing those! And I may be planning something fun for Tampa while we're here, so it means a lot that you enjoy them. I think we both have a soft spot for the hot springs in Calgary, and no doubt we'll have to visit them again before my filming there is over. Recreating everything we've done there has been a lot of fun too, and you know I'm always up for that. I'm all for staying a little longer to take advantage of the hot springs since that seems like the perfect post-filming celebration. Not to mention I always love hot tubs with you, and loved them when we visited New York. I'm blushing a little at your saying you love me being all yours, and honestly, I like that too, along with you being all mine. If you love the way I look in your knitted items, just means you might have to knit more for me, don't you think? That feeling is so mutual, wanting to be near you, and it's impossible not to miss you when you're away. I'd wondered if Bach would be okay with traveling, so I'm just glad he's been such a good sport about it! And I'll still keep the secret about you liking my cuddles more than his and me liking your cuddles more, don't worry. It'll definitely be fun to meet up with Anya and Jamie in Paris to see the secret entrances to the Catacombs, and you know I'll always hold your hand through it all, too. I'd love to go back to that pub and see if it floods again, and if you'll have to carry me over your shoulder! I can't help blushing when you say things like I'm the sexiest, which it still feels a bit surreal that you think so. Though I'll always think you're more sexy, that's a given! Kissing you will always be the best way to start the day, and it's part of why I enjoy you being with me so much. We did an amazing job at breaking in your New York place, without a doubt, and I'm already looking forward to doing that all over again next time we're in the city. And my place too, since I know we have to break that in a little more. You're happy being where I am? That makes me happy to hear when it's so mutual, though I will say that I'm always willing to travel to London with you whenever you're missing it.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the bar with live music, since it's one of my favorite spots in New York! Dancing with you honestly just made it all the better. I'm all for taking more cooking classes too, because you're right, we need to learn more recipes to fill those books with! I'm happy you're as enthusiastic about that as I am, along with finding new meals we'll both enjoy. I'd been looking forward to the trip also, and we can go and meet Bentley tomorrow if you'd like! And you're thinking of giving the sanctuary a donation? You have such a kind heart, and I know they'd appreciate that a lot since like you said, they always need the funds to help out. I was happy you didn't mind meeting my parents, which I knew they'd like you! They'd been curious about you too, and I think they're relieved I'm with someone who's as amazing as you are. I understand being nervous since I'm nervous about meeting your family too, though I'm going to trust that they'll like me as much as you say. I'm excited to take you camping later in the week too, since I know a really great spot for it near a ranch where we can even see some cattle! I think that'll make it all the more fun. I'd love to visit those thermal pools in Turkey, especially since we already have a soft spot for those, and the surroundings are gorgeous. Having so many holidays planned suits me just fine too, when I'd love to see the world with you. And your spoiling me is honestly the best bonus, though you should expect some spoiling in return! Plus you're welcome to wake me up that way as many times as you'd like, given I enjoy it so much to start the day. Between that and our morning showers, I feel like I'm becoming more of a morning person, too. You don't have to be nervous about scaring me off, especially when I don't think that's possible. You…you love me? And think about all those things like living together and getting married? I can understand being nervous to say it when those are really big things to say, though I'm glad you did. I love you too, and I've known that for a little while - I think I kept quiet for the same reasons, not wanting to scare you and being a little afraid that it would. But I want you forever too, Joseph, and I can't ever see a time I don't, so it just makes me really happy we're on the same page, even if it's a little scary! But neither of us have to be scared when we're on the same page, right? You don't have to worry about me kissing you all the time, since I always will! Well, everyone was pretty amused by us when you made me run off set in the middle of a scene, though it's good to hear everyone's teasing you makes you feel at home! And that's good to know you'll always enjoy those kinds of favors, given they're a lot of fun with you and tend to linger in my mind, too. I always like having hot chocolate on the roof, and you being there and being in your arms just made it all the better, of course. I still smile so much thinking about that surprise in at your place and all the decorations, since you went all out for them, not to mention the red theme! We definitely had a perfect first Christmas together, and New Year's as well! I'm so happy you liked the gifts I gave you too, and we'll have to start mandolin lessons soon, don't you think? I couldn't resist getting you knitting supplies either, knowing hos much you like it! My gifts were so thought and lovely too, and I felt so spoiled! I know I'm never taking that necklace off, not to mention I'm excited about the cruise and planning that when we can! Bringing in the New Year kissing you in Times Square was incredible and I loved every moment. We'll have to go back to Devonian Gardens for another picnic before we leave Calgary too, don't you think? Which, I'm so happy you're not filming for a while and get to stay with me. I know we both need our parents, though it's nice we can take care of each other as well. Because that's mutual, that I'll always do whatever I can to make sure you feel happy and safe. | @josephafq

it's safe to say that you always make me feel amazing, love, and i can't help but feel amazing that i mean so much to you -- especially when you mean so much to me too. i've loved getting to stay with you while you've been filming too, and i'll admit that i've grown kind of fond of calgary! plus, it makes me feel good hearing that things are much better with me being there, i love that so much. i'll just say right now that you're the best date to have, and i love having you on my arm at premieres! though you're making me blush saying i do such amazing work, and it means the world that you think that, love. and it makes me feel good that you can't wait to see warfare as well, and i'm told i look pretty good in uniform, so you'll have some eye candy while watching as well! even though you know i love working, things feel so much better now that i'm not, and i can be with you all the time because i love being able to spend so much time with you. we'll have to think of a cute couple costume for next halloween, don't you think? and you know i'll never agree that i took the title sexy over you, love, though you're right that we both looked pretty amazing, and it was so much fun dressing up with you! again by making me blush, calling me extremely talented, and it feels so good hearing that you're proud of me, you know? you're right, even though we both hate the distance when we're apart, i know we'll both do everything in our power to make it work, and that's all that matters in the end. and it's safe to say when it comes to you -- i'll always be as understanding as i can be, yeah? and i love getting to celebrate with you when you land a new role because you're so talented, and i love when other people are getting to see that too! i'm very glad i don't have to worry about losing you, love, since i truly would be lost without you. and it feels good hearing that you'd never want to lose me either. i love that we're both clingy, it makes me smile when we want to hold onto each other so much. and it makes me feel good knowing that being in my arms is a cure-all for you because i love making you feel better, love, and love having you in my arms after you have a rough day on set. i love making you feel better. i'm so glad that you like the dates i plan, and i'm already thinking up some new dates to plan! it's also safe to say that i love when you plan dates too, love. and the one we had before we left for new york for christmas was amazing! you more than thanked me for always being here for you too, i loved it so much.  and you know i love staying at the hotel near the hot springs a whole lot already, and i just love being in the hot springs with you! so it makes me smile to hear you say it's one of your new favorite places, since i love going there with you just as much. and we're getting so good at recreating everything we've both been thinking about when we're there, yeah? you know i'm all for making the hot springs our last visit once you're done filming, love, and maybe we can stay there a little longer too. what do you think? oh, we always have so much fun in hot tubs when we have access to them, right? and i'm so thankful that my building in new york has a hot tub and pool, since we had so much fun using them. especially with the weather being as cold as it was in new york! and i know we'll be doing the same in calgary, since the weather is colder there! glad you think it's adorable that i want you in that state to be for my eyes only -- and it feels good hearing that you want to be the only one that sees me in that state as well. i just love you being all mine, you know? and don't want to share that sight with anyone!

i'm so glad that you love my knitted items, love, and i'll admit that it makes me smile when you wear them as well. and i love the way you look in them -- though it's safe to say i love the way you look in anything! i just always want to be near you, you know? so the moment we're apart, i can't help but miss you. and i'm glad that it's the same for you, love, and i love that you want to be so close to me all the time. i'm glad that you were happy bach has been traveling with us, he travels better than i thought he would, honestly. though i'm glad that you don't love his cuddles more than mine, of course, and we'll just have to keep it from him that you like mine better! i'm glad that i always have you to hold my hand when we go on a haunted adventure with jamie and anya -- and i'll have to let them know about us all meeting up in paris sometime! and from what they tell me, they know all the secret entrances, or are at least always finding some, so it should be fun. it makes me smile when you laugh about me carrying you at the pub, and i love the idea of you laughing if i tossed you over my shoulder to carry you next time, which means we need to go back to that pub so i can do just that, yeah? oh, i love the reaction of you blushing when i call you sexy, which is why i say it so often, but also because you're the sexiest. it makes me smile when you say that you think i'm the sexier of the two of us, even if i don't agree with that, love. i'm glad my kisses that i give you before you need to be on set help start your day so perfectly, especially when i love waking up and being able to kiss you. that's how i feel when we get to sleep in as well, very spoiled, i love getting to be wrapped around you for as long as possible. i'll admit it's fun silencing you with kisses, especially when you laugh a little whenever i do it! it's safe to say we did a very good job of breaking in my new york place for christmas and the new years, wouldn't you agree? and i loved that we got to spend at least one day at your place breaking it in a little, we'll spend more time there though, no doubt about that. it's funny, i'm still not missing london all that much -- though i have a feeling it more has to do with the fact that i'm with you than anything else, and you feel like home to me so i'm happy being wherever you are. it was fun going to a bar in new york that played live music, especially loved when you danced with me. we have to take some more cooking classes, yeah? because we need to fill those recipe books that you got me for christmas, love. and i can't wait to fill them with you, i can't wait to find new things to cook with you. i know i'm going to look forward to going to florida with you, love, and it'll be so much fun meeting bentley since you adore him so much! of course i understand missing you, you're very easy to miss, just saying. the sanctuary runs on donations, yeah? maybe i can give them a little something as well as help out. what do you think? i don't think it's too soon to meet your parents, love, because i really want you to meet my family too. especially when i talk about you so much to them and they can't help but be curious, you know? i'm a little nervous about meeting them, though, because i want them to like me, but can we make a plan to meet them soon? then after i meet your parents -- you can meet my family, who i just know are going to love you. i can't wait to camp with you in flordia, and just spend so much time on holiday with you when we've got the free time, love.

i had a feeling once you looked up the pamukkale thermal pools you would think they were gorgeous -- so i'm glad you're all for heading to turkey for those, and i know you'll love the hotel as well, love. and i'll just say that i love we've got so many holidays planned, you know? i'm going to spoil you so much on every one of them! i'm glad that you think i look so adorable when i blush, that makes me smile and just makes me love when you make me blush all the more. hey, i'll always wake you up that way if you'd like, love, since it's my favorite way to wake you up and all. and i'm glad it makes early mornings a whole lot more fun too, and of course i love our morning showers just as much! yeah? i'm glad to hear there isn't a time when you don't want me, since i spend every day and probably every minute wanting you. i do think about our future a lot, and i'll admit i'm a little nervous sharing some of the things i think about, mostly because i don't want to scare you off. though it makes it easier when you say it feels impossible to not see a future with me, so it makes me feel better about saying it all out loud. but..i think about us in the future settling down together. getting a house, getting married -- even maybe starting a family if that's what we both want. it's scary as hell saying all that out loud; i'm not going to lie, but i…love you and it feels good to lay my emotion cards on the table with you. and i really do want you for as long as i can have you, so please let it be forever, yeah? you're the most beautiful person i know, love, and i'm always going to say that. i love that picturing me pouting makes you want to kiss me, but i love even more being with you so you can kiss me all the time you'd like to, and please kiss me all the time! love, it's so cute that you had to promise him you wouldn't abandon a scene again when i showed up on set this time around. though i love that they tease me a little about it too, it makes me feel pretty welcome there! believe me, anytime you give me something like the favor you return, i'm going to think about it for a long time. it was really fun having hot chocolate on your rooftop that one night, plus i loved having you in my arms and just looking out over the city. i'm really glad that we ended up doing new york for christmas, my apartment ended up looking amazing thanks to the people i hired, and it was just the perfect first christmas with you! and i'm still not over the gifts that you got me, love, and i can't wait for you to give me mandolin lessons! plus the braclet and the beatles gift, which still makes me smile so much that you got me that, and the knitting stuff, i loved it all so much. and new years was great with you too, love, so glad you got to be my first kiss of the new year, and you know you're going to be my only kiss for the rest of the year too. it was fun bringing in 2025 with you though! i'm so glad you suggested devonian gardens for our indoor picnic. by the way, it was so gorgeous there, and the picnic was perfect. yeah? i love when you encourage me to touch you more, just saying. i'm happy to be with you too, my love, and i'm glad that i don't have to start filming for a while now so i can stay with you. and i know, baby, that's why i'm so glad to be with you now since the material is so dark, and i'm glad that i can bring you some comfort when you're dealing with some rough things. and i'm so glad you had your parents for thanksgiving, it makes me smile that seeing them helped, but i get it because after filming warfare, i needed my mum and dad too. i'll also always take care of you, okay? never doubt that -- anytime you need me, i'll gladly be here and do whatever i can to make you feel better. || @teaguehq

[hughesybear]

No, the Canucks are Not Going to Trade J.T. Miller or Elias Pettersson

And if they did, it would be so incredibly stupid. Here’s all the reasons why I think both will remain Canucks for the foreseeable future👇🏼

Neither have asked for a trade, they both signed in Vancouver long-term knowing the other would be here as well, and there’s no indication that their relationship has suddenly deteriorated to the point that they can’t play together

If Pettersson truly thought he couldn’t play with Miller, for whatever reason, why would he sign an eight-year extension knowing Miller would be here for seven of those years? Why would Miller sign his extension knowing that Pettersson was planning to stay? We literally just saw these two have a season where they were fantastic together as a one-two punch down the middle, and Hughes has said as such:

“One hundred percent I believe it’s workable. I mean, we know it’s workable, we saw it last year, very evident, and I think both of them have been going through their own struggles this year. I believe in both of them, I think they’re great players, great people.”

Brad Richardson’s comments about the locker room dynamic were in Pettersson’s age 22/23 season, and it’s been three years since then. These two have put in a lot of work towards their relationship, and they’ve been asked about it ad nauseum:

Pettersson on 32 Thoughts and After Hours (February 2023): “It’s good, I mean we’ve had our differences maybe in some games, but he is a teammate that I respect and he’s someone I like to play hockey with. There’s a lot of speculation, obviously — a lot — but he’s a teammate I respect…It’s not an issue.”

“He’s a guy that wants to do everything to win and he's a great teammate. I know, obviously, there’s people who want to... I don’t know if shit on a player is the right (term). He’s passionate and all he cares about is winning. And yeah, he plays with a lot of emotion and so does the rest of the group.”

Miller in February 2023 and the 2022/2023 season exit interview:

“That's nice of him; I didn't even know he said that. It's nothing that you guys don't know, but I'm glad that Petey said that. Hopefully, we're going to spend a lot of time here together. That's the plan, right? So I'm looking forward to that. Petey and my relationship has come a long way. We're still working at it. We're completely different people, you know what I mean? You're not going to be BFFs with everybody, but at the same time you come to work together. We are polar opposite in a lot of ways, but we're working at it. We've come a long way.”

“We’re not very alike in the sense of personality and hobbies, so we’re not naturally going to gravitate towards each other. But I think over time, we have become friends. Our relationship’s getting better. It’s also a challenge for us because it’s like meeting somebody random on the street and just saying, ‘Hey, be friends with that guy that’s nothing like you. We’re not a lot alike but we’re both very competitive with our job and motivated to win, so there are still things to bring us together too.”

They’ve both been asked about it this season, and both have denied that this is “a thing.” Assuming that these two adult men wouldn’t be able to get along well enough to be paid millions of dollars to play hockey together seems like an insult to their emotional intelligence, honestly.

It would leave a huge hole in the lineup and in the leadership dynamic

The centre included in return for Pettersson or Miller as part of a package of assets would almost certainly be a huge downgrade on either. Even if the Canucks received a top-four defenceman in return, something they’ve sorely lacked all season, they would just be plugging one hole by replacing it with another one. Not many teams can handle the matchups that the Canucks present when Pettersson and Miller are at their best, and any successful version of this iteration of the Canucks will involve getting them to play at that level again.

Both of these people are essential to the leadership group, and they’re the team’s tethers to their respective strengths on the ice, as we’ve seen in their respective absences. By trading either of these players, the Canucks would be trading away one of their key advantages over other teams that they haven’t even gotten the chance to fully utilize in the playoffs (since Pettersson was dealing with his injury in their last opportunity).

Trades involving sending out elite players are almost impossible to win

Elite 1Cs almost never become available, and the team giving up the best player in a trade usually loses it. Just look at the Eichel trade: an underperforming but potentially elite young centre who hadn’t fulfilled his full potential got traded and proceeded to win a Cup with his new team. Meanwhile, the pieces Buffalo got in return haven’t been enough to lift them out of their playoff drought. It’d be a very Canucks thing for Pettersson or Miller to win a Cup with their new team if they got traded.

Trading a player this soon into a long-term extension signed by the current front office rarely ever happens

Trading either of these players at a low ebb of their value would just be poor asset management. Try explaining to Aqualini that the multi-million signing bonuses you gave Miller or Pettersson ended up barely doing anything for your franchise because you didn’t have faith that they could work things out here. The most recent example where a front office has moved a player they signed to a long-term extension in the first year of their deal is the Kings trading Pierre-Luc Dubois, and he’s flourishing in Washington when lots of people thought his issues as a player couldn’t be fixed. Miller and Pettersson are both a higher calibre of player than Dubois, and we’ve seen them at their best in Vancouver. Moving on from them over a couple tumultuous months where they’ve both missed time while the team has been struggling with injuries would show a level of impatience that would be uncharacteristic for this front office.

Pettersson and Hughes share the same agent (and are very close friends)

If you’re Hughes, and you watch either of these players (your alternate captains and good friends) get traded so soon after signing long-term extensions, and you know this front office has already traded away a Canucks captain, what faith would you have in them wanting you to stay in Vancouver? Making sure Hughes has reasons to stay should be a top priority for this front office, and I don’t think trading Pettersson or Miller would make him any more eager to negotiate.

They’re on the same team. There shouldn’t be “sides.” They both hate the noise, and the simplest way to make the noise go away is to start winning, but they haven’t even had the opportunity to do that while both of them are in the lineup (this current round of rumours was started by Allvin’s NYE interview, and Pettersson had been out of the lineup for a week before that).

Once the team gets healthier and has the opportunity to go on a bit of a run, I expect that most of the noise will just fade away. I’m looking forward to it!

[goatsandgangsters]

Posh Fancy People Name Generator (Debrett's Peerage 1903)

Do you spend a lot of time coming up with silly names for your Jeeves and Wooster fanfic? Do you and your friends get together on weekends to LARP as Oscar Wilde characters? Do you just want to feel grateful that your parents didn't name you Allnutt?

Then have I got the random name generators for you! 

Introducing two Debrett’s Peerage (1903) Name Generators, by yours truly! 

It will give you a first name, TWO middle names (so posh), and a surname, all taken from actual once-living human beings whose names were recorded in the 1903 edition of Debrett’s Peerage 

There’s a posh man version and a fancy lady version

(I also included an optional tick-box to add a title/peerage rank and/or some silly bonus info from me, but you can keep it name-only if you prefer) 

here are some of my fave Actual Names that I found. now imagine how much sillier we can make this by putting it all in a blender

please note: lettice is her middle name. her surname is gore. miss lettice gore, you are an icon.

A few notes on logistics:

Names are not weighted and were entered into each category only once, regardless of how common or uncommon they were in 1903. This means you’re as likely to be named Wyndham as you are to be John, because frankly it wouldn’t be fun if every man you generated was named John 

However! First name and middle names are separate lists, so your first name could be the same as one of your middle names; alternatively, both of your middle names could be the same because middle names are pulling from the same list. This should enhance the absurdity 

The name ‘Napier’ appears in Debrett’s Peerage as a first name, as a middle name, AND as a surname. While it’s statistically unlikely, it is technically possible to generate the name Napier Napier Napier Napier for yourself 

Spelling variations (eg, Ann vs Anne) were included as separate names

The generator is continuously being updated with more names, because there’s a whoooole lot of names recorded in Debrett’s Peerage (yes, I am manually reading and entering names from a 2,000+ page document. what of it.)

For the bonus tick-box: the titles are all real, but they may be paired with a different peerage rank than they were in actuality (e.g., if you generate Lord So-and-So, the So-and-So is a real title, but the generator might tack it onto a Earl instead of a Marquess, etc). I didn’t include any royalty, just aristocracy 

For the bonus tick-box: most are a straightforward “you are a Countess” but some are me being a bit silly and having fun 

[sleepy-aletheas]

I think we tend to pit Alhaitham and Kaveh as absolute opposites too often. It's always "one is loud, the other silent" or "one is warm and the other cold" or my favorite (i say sarcastically) "one is overemotional and the other is emotionally unavailable".

Am I gonna harp on the dehumanization of Alhaitham, because his rbf and title of genius makes it so easy to do? :) ...no, not this time, I swear. I stood on that defensive soap box a few too many times already. What I wanna point out how similar their personalities are through their communication/public perception way.

For one side comment before the comparison; their mirroring needs to have a common thing they can reflect off together, or they simply would never find the answers they need. Mindless reflections would just muddle their understanding of one another and themselves.

That being said...

I think all of us fell into the "let's make Alhaitham speak short and to the point" mindset. It's easier to think of him that way — he stands idly by, listening into conversations, and already contemplating the truth about what is going on. But I swear, when he opens his mouth, then he speaks, and not just factually. He wants others to come to their own conclusions, to find the truth of the matter on their own. He tosses some information here and there to lead people on the right path, and then steps back to observe. He is also someone who uses a lot of sarcasm and avoids direct answers for the most mundane things, obscuring his own truth along it. He doesn't mind going on and on to explain things, to take his time and be helpful when someone genuinely seeks answers. Is he blunt? In a sense, yes. Maybe clinical is the way I like to think of it. He often doesn't overstep boundaries (the only one who fully gets his opinion stated is Kaveh, but they're each other's exceptions anyway), so really, the "bluntness" is more of a disregard to "overfriendliness" that is seen as politeness towards strangers or the public at large.

Kaveh on the other hand is perceived as loud and passionate to its own downside, really. Can he be either of these things? Absolutely. He has the passion of a sun, the ambition of a tide. But it's usually perceived by people as overfriendliness and an emotionally charged thing, when he really is more, and I can't really find the right word for it so I'll go with, reserved. He is polite and tries to be as helpful to others as he can be, but he doesn't really divulge that much of himself. He focuses on others, but tries to keep the attention on them or the situation and not himself too much. He will toss in tidbits of himself here and there, but that doesn't mean he's suddenly spilling all his secrets — he keeps to himself, even if his outgoing personality makes it seem he doesn't. He can keep a cool head and be analytical (architect or not, he's still a scholar through and through), and his contemplation is more of a quiet moment that he doesn't mind vocalize to gain more input from the outside. His friendliness is seen as openness, when really he's just playing the social game, keeping his true self away from public eyes (Alhaitham is one of the few, if not the only one, who gets his full opinion, not sanitized, but candid, off the cuff that doesn't need to be "pleasant" and "for polite company").

Both of them use silence and vocalization in equal measure, just in different ways to divert attention from themselves. Alhaitham seemingly riddles people's attention span into a twist until they give up aften not being patient enough to decode it; Kaveh on the other hand speeds through pleasantries to get to the bottom of the problem so no one has, or can, focus on him specifically. Alhaitham doesn't see the point of the social game, and because he doesn't care about the public's opinion of him, he doesn't play along; Kaveh's reputation and work hinge on people's thoughts and knowledge of him, so he plays along, because people being kind to you (because they know you're kind) makes life easier. Two approaches, two ways of keeping their public perception away from their private one.

It's also why their conversations (or old married bickering, either wording works) are often so "explosive". One uses a direct approach to leave the vulnerability hidden, the other leads the attention away from vulnerability through convoluted misdirection; and both of them know this, and it's frustrating. And exhilarating. Because they're going down two paths that end up at the same destination; seemingly parallel lines that are actually intersecting lines.

They are two mirrors that reflect the same object, but one sees the object's shadow and the bright world around, the other sees the object clearly, but the world in shrouded in shadows. Who is who, doesn't really matter, because both of them can fit this.

[backtothe99]

(18Trip Translation) Tao Kinouchi SSR: Best Wishes Snap - Level +1

proofread by jellyfish_apple, azurecrystalz and niri

While the story uses the male protagonist's name (Kaede), the differences in the script depending on the protagonist you play as have been noted down

Part 1

Location: HAMA House Living Room

Everyone at HAMA Tours: Happy birthday~!!

[Pop, pop!]

Tao: Thank you so much. You really went out of your way for me today…

Tao: Like, everything’s amazing. The living room is decorated so beautifully, and the food looks so fancy and tasty.

Chihiro: Hehe ♪ We’ve got all of your faves here, TaoTao~! Meat, fish, naan curry… ♪

Chihiro: But celery’s banned from HAMA House for today, sorries~

Raito: The information you put in your profile book was a great help. By the way, the curry is authentic and ordered from an Indian restaurant the Kitakata family has close ties to.

Nagi: We tried baking the naan ourselves. The Night Team will take responsibility and eat the uneven ones, so please enjoy the pretty ones.

Nayuki: Good grief, to think they were even discussing getting a tandoor installed for this.

Liguang: In the end, we simply asked Kamina how to make it in a frying pan.

Kaede: We’ve got seconds, so eat to your heart’s content!

Tao: Okay, thanks. The smell alone is enough to make my stomach rumble…

Chihiro: The cake absolutely meeeelts in your mouth! Props to our in house Chef Ushipoyo!

Chihiro: It’s a cube cake tower made of TaoTao’s fav game consoles and video game boxarts♪

Kinari: The cake has been recreated to look like the original “Surpass The Original! A Chronicle Cake For Veteran Gamers”, with icing used throughout.

Tao: Amazing… There’s so much attention to detail. Even the buttons from the very first Enstation are exactly the same.

Liguang: Doing such thorough research is a good trait of Kurama’s

Kuguri: So, where would you like to start? I will feed you whatever you want.

Tao: Yeah, no need…

Kinari: Tao, happy birthday. My gift to you is this assortment of video games.

Tao: I’m amazed you found this many! There are all sorts of stuff in here, both old and new…!

Kinari: I was researching what you would like, and this naturally happened.

Kinari: … Confirming increase in body temperature and heart rate, as well as looseness in cheeks.

Kinari: I am happy you are happy with it. I look forward to continuing working alongside you as members of Ev3ns.

Tao: Same here. Thanks, Kinari.

Liguang: Shēngrì kuàilè (1), Kinouchi. Take this.

Tao: Wha… This is… the new jacket from my favorite brand!? No, I can’t accept something as nice as this.

Liguang: Stop being shy and just accept it. Lots of people would want to be in your shoes.

Tao: Y… Yeah… Okay then, thank you.

Tao: Oh, by the way, how is Xingbing-san doing? Please thank her for coming to our concert the other day for me.

Liguang: … Got it.

Nagi: … As always, Liguang-san’s got the air of a king. His luxurious presents are beyond the realm of man…

Tao: Hachinoya-san?

Nagi: (I should’ve given him my gift earlier.  But it’s too late to turn back now, so I’ll just pretend it’s not garbage.)

Nagi: My gift is the complete collection of Elephantastic Memorial discs. The volume 1 debut performance footage includes a bonus scene that’s a must-see for all fans. But, um…

Nagi: I hadn’t considered the possibility that you might already have this. If you’d like, you could maybe keep it to show it to your friends, or you could use it for emergency funds in case of financial trouble.

Tao: I don’t own a single one, so this makes me really happy. Let’s watch them together at some point.

Nagi: Ba-dump. So this is the carefree smile of the unspoken rizz king... So charismatic.

Tao: (I got presents and a cake. This is pretty much a picture-perfect “birthday party”.)

Tao: (… It would’ve been unimaginable back then.)

Chihiro: Taaao! Howzit? Are you happy?

Tao: Yeah. This is the first birthday I’ve properly celebrated since coming here.

Tao: And that’s without mentioning all these things you’ve done for me. Of course I’m happy. No amount of thanks will ever be enough.

Chihiro: I see… Ehehe, I’m glad ♪

Chihiro: Theeen, time for a toast~?

Chihiro: Look, Raitin got champagne. He was all, “I’ll splurge for Tao’s birthday~☆” 'bout it!

Tao: Seriously?

Tao: (Actually… Is it just me, or is Chihiro more excited than usual today?)

Kuguri: … But of course, maci.

Tao: Woah, Kuguri-san! … Uh, could you not read people’s minds so casually?

Kuguri: Fufu, you’re pretty much an open book, maci.

Kuguri: Our brave nyuszi even managed to drag me around to help for today. Does that not send a thrill down your spine?

Tao: Wha…

Chihiro: Wai– Don’t be a snitch, Kugurin! So embarrassing~!!

Tao: Chihiro…

Chihiro: … You always grant so many of my wishes. I wanted to celebrate you properly in return!

Chihiro: Happy birthday, Tao!

Tao: … Yeah. Let’s make this a great year, with everyone.

Tao: (I’m really so thankful…)

Tao: Ah…

Tao: (This is the party game Taiki and I talked about wanting to play… The game was sold out back then so we couldn’t get it.)

Kaede: Tao-kun?

Kaede: Did you maybe find some game you’d like to play? Which one?

Tao: No. It’s just…

Kinari: No matter how “ordinary” something is. It becomes “special” when you do it on your birthday. … That is something you and the others have taught me, Tao.

Kinari: As such, playing games on your birthday will become a special memory for you as well.

Kaede: Yeah, Kinari-kun is right.

Kaede: No need to hold back! Plus, it’s been a long time since we played a game together, Tao-kun! Let’s do it!

Chihiro: What’s it gonna be, Tao~?

Tao: Then… Just for a while. I’ll go bring the console!

Part 2

Tao: Hah… I had fun.

Tao: (After that, everyone else came too. We ate delicious food and played games.)

Tao: (The President’s thorough planning blew me away, and the game Ushio gave me was fun too.)

Tao: (I had a few intense matches with Ryui-san, and Chihiro took a picture of the Chief and Hachinoya-san trying to figure out which character is which…)

Tao: (I made so many memories. I never thought I’d get so excited…)

Tao: … Haha. I was so into it that I started sweating.

Tao: Alright, time for a bath.

Muneuji: Kinouchi-san.

Tao: Muneuji?

Muneuji: I am glad you are still here. Could I take up some more of your time for the Random Gift System assignment?

Muneuji: … I became so engrossed in cheering during the matches earlier that my duties nearly slipped my mind.

Tao: You and Akuta were holding megaphones and cheering loudly from the back, it’s no wonder you forgot.

Tao: Thanks to you guys, I got even more fired up… Or actually, the games became all the more fun.

Muneuji: There is not a single person who would not be excited watching such a heated battle. I have also learned something today: the world of gaming is deeply complex.

Muneuji: Ah, I am neglecting my duties again. I’ll cut to the chase.

Muneuji: Happy birthday, Kinouchi-san. May this year be a fruitful one for you.

Muneuji: This is my gift to you.

Tao: Oh, bar soap!

Muneuji: Yes. I resolved to make this my present when I found out that you like bar soaps.

Tao: Bar soaps are nice. You slowly make the bubbles yourself, and they’re smooth to the touch.

Muneuji: Agreed. I also enjoy the faint, nostalgic scent they carry.

Tao: I get you. It’s such a gentle scent, isn’t it?

Muneuji: I asked Azekawa-san to analyze your skin type, and carefully selected and ordered the ingredients for this bar soap based on those results. Please give it a try if you’d like.

Tao: You got a custom-made one!?

Muneuji: It is not particularly difficult. Anyone can do this if they know the procedure. Would you like to order one together next time?

Tao: Sounds interesting! Let’s discuss the details later.

Muneuji: Understood. I will look forward to it.

Tao: … Oh yeah. Muneuji, I was about to go for a bath, so do you want to try this soap out?

Muneuji: …

Muneuji: Truth be told, out of all the items I ordered, this was the most refined, so I was curious how it would feel to use… I will take you up on your offer then, thank you.

Muneuji: As the opportunity has come to us, I will wash your back, Kinouchi-san.

Tao: Uh, that’s…

Tao: (A little embarrassing. But…)

Tao: (… It’ll remind me of the past.)

Tao: Then, I’ll also—

Kuguri: Let’s go, maci ♪

Tao: Uh!?

Muneuji: Domeki-san.

Kuguri: To think you’d be entrusting me with your defenseless back. … Okay. I’ll take such good care of you both.

Chihiro: Heeey! There you are, Kugurin~!

Chihiro: Gee! No spoilers! I told you we’d invite them together!!

Tao: Chihiro? And…

Muneuji: Azekawa-san and Kitakata-san as well. The entire Evening Team is here.

Chihiro: It’s gettin' late, so we came to invite y’all for a bath!

If the protagonist is male: Chihiro: I invited Chiefy too, but he had some work to get done and couldn’t make it. Sadge.

If the protagonist is female: Chihiro: Chiefy stocked up on fruit milk today! Let’s all drink up after the bath~!

Raito: A lot of us have gathered. Shall we all wash each other’s backs? You know, the way they do it by being in a circle.

Muneuji: Taking a bath while getting to know the Evening Team better… Yes, this sounds like it will be a valuable experience.

Tao: Oh man…

Tao: … Oh, the sun’s setting.

Tao: (… Today was a good day.)

Muneuji: Kinouchi-san?

Tao: It's nothing. I'll be right there.

NOTES: (1) happy birthday in chinese

[thewalrusespublicist]

Hello! Love your blog and your takes, objective and sane and well researched chefs kiss! I had a blast scrolling through it like it was my feed yesterday lol can you elaborate on klaus and Paul if possible? People mostly talk about them like it’s already understood but I don’t understand 😭 I’m kinda lost on their (all of them, including stu) dynamic during the hamburg years specifically when it comes to Paul

Aww thank you anon! Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol). So I really, really needed this. :)

Oh Paul vs/and the Exsis, it's quite a long one so buckle up.

Disclaimer: all of the people involved are essentially art kids/young adults who are famously the most exhausting people on the planet. Do not blame them for being dramatic, it's their natural state of being.

If we want to go into Paul and Klaus, we have to kind of start with the John, Paul and Stu. Now these three are a mess that's too big to go into here (though I have THOUGHTS about how Stu is utilised in the Beatles narrative that I'm more than happy to share if asked lmaooo). But in short(ish):

John and Paul had had an intense year and a bit of closeness. Then John meets Stu at art college.

John and Stu become c l o s e for many reasons (being peers, living together, similar artistic leanings + ego, Stu being a gentle guide to John, sharing art projects/poetry/long letters and feelings etc.) They became 'closer than two men' a friend had seen (remind us of anyone gang?). Most importantly, John could be open about his feelings with Stu in letters. If John had BPD which I subscribe too, I think Stu was his 'favourite person' and as Aunt Mimi said his 'special' and 'closest friend' from this period up until his death (though imho the transference back to Paul was starting prior to his death).

It's not clear what exactly happens as there's differing accounts but Stu uses his money to buy a new bass as John wants him to come to Scotland then Hamburg and play bass as he will 'look good'.

Paul doesen't like being relegated to the seat behind John and Stu when he used to sit next to John. He also isn't thrilled when he gets to Hamburg and not only does he get to sleep in the other room with just Pete but Stu cannot be arsed to play because he's hanging out with his hot new girlfriend Astrid (more on her in a sec). Our boy has spent a lot of money he doesen't have and given up on further education to be here and is jealous and annoyed.

Paul and Stu probably were friends and I think their mutual antipathy is overegged. HOWEVER, can't be denied that Paul is jealous of Stu and Stu is jealous of Paul (and getting flare-ups from increasing brain damage). John and Stu tease Paul and steal his money, Paul is mean to Stu (as are the others encouraged by John). Do I think John was playing games with both of them? Yup. They end up scuffling onstage because Paul said something about Astrid (not clear what, one account is that Paul said that Stu could borrow money off Astrid if he needed it which isn't really that bad a dig but who knows Yoko??).

Why is this dynamic important? Because it directly impacts the 'Exsis' (Klaus, Jurgen and Astrid's) group's relationship with Paul:

The Exsis were young artists living in Hamburg. They were artistic, cool, interesting and edgy. They were paramount in introducing the Beatles to cool new concepts, aesthetics and ideas. They also took themselves VERY seriously ie pretentious as all hell.

Astrid met Stu at Kaiserkeller and hit it off. They embarked on an all-consuming romance.

Letter from Stu to Astrid, c.1961

I've seen people say they were the proto-John and Yoko in terms of making their romance the whole world and influencing John years down the line and I can see that. With Astrid and Stu it's far more endearing though because they ARE young and the right age to have a relationship like that. Stu is popular with the Exsis in general and brings them into the Beatles group.

The Exsis didn't like or trust Paul. Astrid said later it was because Paul was 'too nice' which she herself admits is a ridiculous reason. The others also thought he was a bit of a show-off. It makes sense though if you're cool and edgy and want to stick it to the world to be sus about a guy being friendly show-off with seemingly no inner world. The other problem was a perfectly reasonable one imo, you're not going to like your friends frenemy who you don't connect with. Compound that with Paul not taking drugs as much as George or John and being in the other room and you begin to have a division.

Paul had been popular his whole life, like from what we know since-primary-school-popular. He had never been in this position before, let alone in a foreign country. I believe it became a bit of a brutal feedback loop. Paul's response to this type of behaviour consistently it to go more surface level, snide and passive aggressive. The natural response of any group with a designated 'ugh' person is to become more shady and exclusionary. The cycle continues and gets worse. Stu letters back home at this time says that in a shocking turn of events Paul is hated by everyone but Stu 'just feels sorry for him' (lmao OF COURSE you do Stu, its giving 'loathing' from Wicked lol). Klaus drew a lot of artwork of the early Hamburg Beatles that includes this highly unpleasant picture of Paul in 1961 which I think says a lot:

Klaus is also a musician and fancies himself a place on bass. When Stu leaves to pursue art, Klaus asks John if he could take over but John says that he thinks Paul is going to do it.

Klaus has later gone on to say that he thinks he was a better bass player for the Beatles' sound at the start and then Paul developed into being better for the group. It's one of those I cannot believe those words actually left your mouth and you are not deeply embarrased moments. But it's important to keep this desire and viewpoint in mind.

Klaus stays in touch with all of them and close to John and George, George especially. They visit Klaus on holiday in tenerife in early 60s and Klaus later draws the Revolver artwork.

This whole context of how they met and Hamburg is crucial and has to be taken into account when hearing Klaus' statements. Klaus and Paul started off with a lack of connection and with Paul on the outs, the Exsis got an incomplete view of Paul and an inaccurate snapshot of the Beatles dynamic overall. This is why when Klaus says 'Paul was always slightly apart from the others' and that 'divorce was inevitable' from early 60s we should remember that that is what Klaus is expecting to see as that's what he saw in Hamburg.

Klaus wanted to be the bass player (and was holding out hope to join a band with George and John in the 70s), was really close with George and suffers as many did with 'John Lennon aspiring boy bestie syndrome' (JABBS). Paul had what Klaus wanted and from the Hamburg experience, you could see why Klaus thought he might have an in and may have been jealous of this 'shallow' Paul of all people having the connection that he felt he should/could have with John and George. As with most sufferers of JABBS, he took John's side with everything, always refused to say any regrets about his involvement in How do you Sleep and thought Paul was fine with the song because 'he was even closer to John than [he] was. (Again Klaus to put yourself in that level of closeness with John that it's comparable to Paul is ???.) JABBS and its secondary condition PMIETGSH (Paul McCartney isn't even that good shut up) are virulent diseases that incapacitate sufferers objectivity and judgement, so it's fair to say that Klaus is a source you have to take with a pinch of salt on the early 70s period.

It seems that Klaus and Paul did get on a lot better the older they got (probably without the jealousy complication of George and John) and developed a sweet friendship. Here is Klaus' tribute to Paul for his 80th:

Here is the jam session he's talking about:

He now wants Paul to live in his house lmao so things have gotten warmer. But Klaus and Paul's dynamic is a great example of how and why natural bias, little jealousies and spats can consciously or subconsciously influence our internal narrative and why we need to be so careful about not taking one perspective as gospel.

[saranova]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

aka It's 2025 and I'm just getting to it now

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Tagging @feetreadyheartbeatsteady @fantasywithkassidy @thoughtsaboutshows because I don't think I saw any of you do this, but no pressure!

Thank you to @ubiquitouslyme @lizardsrunfast @oh-no-its-dragons @overjoyedisland for the tags! I haven't actually participated in one of these tumblr things before and being more active on this platform is a 2025 goal of mine so here we go!

I'm not on Tumblr a ton, but I'm trying to be better and, yes, I know it's already 2025 but there's no time like the present to recap my 2024.

How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

According to AO3: 382,988 um ... what!?!?

How many fics did you complete this year?

Seven! The rest are WIPs.

That Infamous Infantry Guy - A Halden/Violet prequel story exploring the theory that he was her famous infantry ex.

The Mile High Club - A one-shot modern AU where Violet and Xaden meet on a transatlantic flight.

The Music of The Night - Iron Flame Violet/Varrish fanfic for the Riders Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange (for @lunatrixart)

Tropical Temptation - A V/X/L Modern AU one shot for the Rider's Quadrant winter solstice fic exchange for @shipmistress9 that I co-wrote with @tegantales

Secrets Die With Those Who Keep Them, So What's One More? - A canon compliant short fic where basically everyone is feeling horny and experimental. B/I/V, B/I/G

A Ray of Light in Shadowed Clouds - A Tairn/Sgaeyl piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange.

Measure Up - A Xaden/Dain piece for the Rider's Quadrant Summer Solstice Fic Exchange

How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Nine

The Golden Dragons - My first ever fanfic, my baby! I had no idea what I was doing, I just started writing one day and this modern college AU has evolved. It's fun and I don't take this one too seriously, its a bit of satire and a lot of silly with a touch of serious.

My Adversary, My Abyss - An in-canon Mira/Syrena fic I began back in September as part of the Fourth Wing femslash week organized by @oh-no-its-dragons

One Manhattan - Modern Riorgail AU set in New York City. Co-authoring with @tegantales

Two Manhattans - Companion Piece to One Manhattan, sharing supporting character POV's.

XOXO, Aaric Graycastle - Basgiath's Gossip Column. A fun and silly series of tabloid style articles for Basgiath shenannigans.

Samara Man - Like Florida Man ... but at Samara. Spoiler: it always comes back to Garrick Tavis.

The Choreography of Combat - A series of one-shots of Bodhi Durran sexy sparring all the hot guys.

What was your favorite thing you wrote?

This is a really tough one. I love Golden Dragons b/c it is where my journey writing fanfic began ... but I wouldn't necessarily say it's my favorite thing I've written. Honestly, probably Chapter 6 of That Infamous Infantry Guy, it was my first time experimenting with writing something dark, and I love how it turned out.

What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Probably The Music of The Night. It was my first time writing something that was really inspired by music and incorporating it's lyrics into the prose. It ended up being far more poetic than my usual works and is very dark and twisted. But I loved how it turned out so much.

Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I was definitely surprised how much I loved writing Music of the Night, I wasn't sure how this Violet/Varrish pairing was going to come together, but once the idea came to me, the words just poured out of me.

I think the fandom's reaction to One Manhattan surprised me the most. I mean, I knew it would be fun and a wild ride, but I didn't expect so many people to take the ride with us and that has been awesome!

Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Definitely My Adversary, My Abyss. Though the response to it has been small, it's been SO positive. The comments and messages I've gotten about it have been some of the most supportive and appreciative I've ever received. There's a lot of M/M fic in the fandom, but there really isn't much in the way of F/F so i am very determined and motivated to finish this one!

Who is an artist that inspired you?

Both @oh-no-its-dragons and @ann7av have created fan art based off of my works and if that isn't inspiration to keep writing, I don't know what is!! The fact that I wrote something that inspired artists to create absolutely blows my mind in the BEST possible way. It's the most wonderful thing, isn't it, to continue inspiring one another with our creations?

A shout out also to @lunatrixart for her amazing Tairn & Sgaeyl piece she created for the Rider's Quadrant Winter Solstice exchange. I started following her after I was assigned her as my giftee - I love how the exchange introduced me to so many creative and inspiring authors and artists!

Who is an author that inspired you?

I have met some really incredible authors this year in the Fourth Wing fanfic fandom through AO3 and the RQ Discord Server. Though, I have to call out @ubiquitouslyme because her Xaden Year 3 is the first fanfic I ever read. It was what I discovered when looking for a cure for my FW/IF book hangover, and it led me here! And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Additional shout out to Lydi (who's tumblr name is escaping me) for bringing me into the RQ Discord Server and introducing me to the fandom in a deeper way!

There are just too many authors to count because everyone inspires me in one way or another! I appreciate every comment, every encouraging word, every kudo, every meme, and just all our general discussions. Thank you to this fandom for welcoming me with open arms, it's been such a wonderful journey!

Who is a new author you discovered?

Well, I am so new to this fandom that literally everyone is a new author to me! So can I just say, all the authors of the Empyrean Fandom? There's just so much talent here it's unreal. This is such a tough one because there are so many on the RQ server.  

@overjoyedisland @lizardsrunfastt @fantasywithkassidyy @thoughtsaboutshowsows @suebswrites @yanny-77 @shipmistress9 @greeneyedwildthing @pillowqueen26 @sarcasticmothwrites @oh-no-its-dragons @june-s-pumpkins @tegantales @hockeyspiral23 @siobhanbooks @essjaywrites Mint (who's tumblr name I don't know) and everyone else I may have forgotten because I'm terrible with tumblr and don't know everyone's names on this platform (yet)

Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

I did!

I've been writing One Manhattan and Two Manhattans with @tegantaless. I am not actually sure how it started, I think one of us was like, "Hey, I like your writing, we should write something together" and the other responded "Yes, same. I'm in!" and then we just did. It clicked for us immediately, and it's been so easy to co-author together. It kind of snowballed from there - we've now met IRL and have probably 100K words and three different published works between us in just a couple months?

What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I have three things I'm most proud of this year:

I started writing. Period. Hard Stop. I've never written anything creatively before and just decided to try it and see what happens. To say I've surprised myself is an understatement.

As someone who had never read smut or fantasy before 2023, I have now written both. To say it was intimidating when I started would be an understatement, but I'm so glad I went for it!

I pushed myself beyond what I was initially comfortable with. I've now written smut, m/m, f/f, poly, fluff, angst, and some super dark stuff. It's hard for me to believe I started writing fanfic for the first time in May!

What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

That nothing is perfect. That every chapter doesn't have to top the last. That sometimes you just need to build out the story. That it's okay to walk away from something if you need a break or aren't feeling inspired, your writing will be better for it.

What is your advice?

Write what makes YOU happy! Write for yourself, not everyone else. 

Connect with your readers! One of the things that brings me the most joy as a writer is interacting with those who follow my work. I love it so much, that my first fic, The Golden Dragons, turned into an interactive fic where I have surveys and linkouts embedded and then draw from those responses to make it more interactive.

Support each other! I am a very slow reader, but I try to read as much as I can because I enjoy both the stories and supporting the other wonderful authors in this fandom!

What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish my current Empyrean WIPs, flesh out Mile High Club into a multi-chapter AU fic, complete one original fiction.

Write at least one piece for another fandom. I'm coming for you @acourtofladydeath

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

I'm still mad about that because I get notifications from usamericans and british folks being annoyed by what I said (on this other post), so here is a list of everything wrong in the post concerning the French Revolution of 1789, and OP using the number of nobles in France today to argue that French guillotined more "class traitors" than actual nobles, and so, we should stop with "eat the rich", because we are generalizing rich people instead of attacking the 1%:

"Class traitors" is an anachronism, as they had no concept of social classes at the time. There was three groups of people in France: the noble (1% of the pop), the church (1% too) and the Tiers-Etat, aka the people (98%). The people could be rich and poor, serfs to nobles, because if you bought your noble title, you didn't have the same rights as blue blood nobles and were still inequal and treated like shit.

In light of that, the article used literally put together blue blood nobles and nobles who bought their titles to highlight how they are more nobles now in France than in 1789. The post does the same. This is wrong, because, like I said, nobles who bought their title did not have the rights and privileges of blue blood nobles in 1789, and they were not grouped with the nobles. Robespierre, for example, was from a family who bought a noble title, but he was broke af and had no privileges at all.

Also, the article also used noble family created AFTER the Revolution of 1789, by Napoléon or the monarchy. OP also used them to make their point that they are more noble today. How the fuck are revolutionaries supposed to kill them if they became nobles AFTER.

There is a HUGE difference between nobles before 1789 and nobles now: the privileges. Yes, nobles' descendants exist today and they have privileges, but these comes from BEING RICH, not being noble. Nobles in 1789 HAD PRIVILEGES IN THE LAWS that were abolished by the Revolution. A lot of jobs weren't accessible if you weren't a blue blood noble, you couldn't own properties, etc... And noble doesn't exist anymore as a social status in France. Also, people hate them so much, because, wtf are you proud of being the descendant of a slave owner??? I have come across some account on social media, and French are lynching them. Noble in 2024 are rich white folks larping as asshole, they aren't like nobles in 1789 who were assholes but with more privileges.

The guillotine was used BY THE GOVERNMENT, NOT THE PEOPLE. The government made in majority of rich people. Bourgeois, as we call them in France. The bourgeois are known in French history for trying to replace nobility with the bourgeoisie. So, the people killing innocents with the guillotine? Rich people, in majority, who blamed it on Robespierre, because he was broke and painting that poor people are the violent one is pretty frequent. Robespierre, at the time, had recognized he was paranoid af and not mentally stable and was going to retire from politic because of that.

Bourgeois isn't the same social class than working class in France ("you said it was an anachronism to talk about social classes!" In 1789, not today. Bourgeois existed in 1789 and it became a social class) Being bourgeois don't mean you are apart of the 1%, but French history has proven that bourgeois cannot be trusted with not treating less fortunate people like shit. When nobles weren't the colonizers, it was the bourgeois.

The French people executed people by hanging them in the street, which we call "à la lanterne" because they hang them on a lamppost.

They actually yelled "kill the rich" because they killed rich people more so. "Eat the rich" comes from a philosopher, forget which one (we have a lot), who was already dead at the time.

Also, like I said one that post, nobles survived not because French were too busy killing "class traitors" but because they were helped by other monarchies, like the FUCKING UK and AUSTRIA. The neighboring monarchies went to war against France to force French back in a monarchy. The UK forced France back in a monarchy after Napoléon, so fuck the UK monarchy so bad. Nobles of other countries helped French nobles, they are the one responsible. Btw the Marseillaise is about that, about the monarchies attacking France to force them back under tyranny and inequality.

The government killed the most people and innocents not the people.

The second most deadly day of the Revolution is the 23rd of April 1789, when soldiers gunned down people who attacked Réveillon's house. Reveillon was an extremely rich man who lowered his employees' pay because "I'm becoming as poor as you all", and people got enough of this bs. This was still under the monarchy, btw.

I cannot believe I sit through hours of lecture on the French Revolution of 1789, hours of lecture on French history from said revolution to the World Wars, then to today, hours of lecture on historiography and propaganda, spend hours writing essays on these subjects and reading about the Revolution of 1789, on its historiography and how the US are liars because they are an imperialist nation that just wants you to hate France for being against the war of Iraq, only for some usamerican tumblr user to tell me that I don't know shit about the subject and I'm just against anyone talking about French history because I'm French.

Shut the fuck up, you don't even know that "La Liberté guidant le peuple" is not this revolution, but the one from 1830. You don't even know what la Commune de Paris is. And those are things 15 years old know in France. I say "Never listen to a native english speaker about the French Revolution of 1789 or really, French history in general", I know wtf I'm talking about. I know wtf they are teaching you, and I know it is a distorted reality. For fuck's sake, they compared Robespierre to Ben Laden, this is the craziest shit I have read in a history book, and my professors, HISTORIANS WITH DOCTORATE, laugh their ass off at that. And, it's the same broken ass logic used by fascists in France rn, so thanks for bringing that in, but that's what the us wanted after all.

And, yeah, I know more than OP about history, because I know a bbc article isn’t an acceptable source. The media are like the biggest propaganda machine.

[theanonymousninja247]

Reasons to Stay

The demons were getting pretty dark yesterday.

My head wasn’t really a safe place.

I think heaven knew I needed some help because outta nowhere I remembered that I had a voucher for one free meal at a food truck nearby.

Found the place and stood in line behind a French lady, while we watched a Venezuelan Woman struggle to make her order in English to a college kid running the fan. It was wholesome to watch that despite the language barrier and the somewhat confusing hand gestures as they tried to communicate, the young man was still able to help the lady get her order, and she walked away with a big smile because she got some yummy food. I then watched a gentleman who was running the wood cooked pizza truck talking with the family running the Thai And Boba truck and talking about swapping leftovers once everybody left. I thought it was sweet that despite the differences there at the food trucks, no matter our cultures, languages, or background, none of these things prevented a small group of people to come together because of the enjoyment of food. I got to eat fresh sushi, sit in the cool grass, with a perfect blue sky as my view.

The new Transformers movie is coming out in a couple weeks. Wild Robot too. Those look interesting.

My roommate knew me well enough to give me a hug cuz she knew I was having it rough.

So yeah, it was a good day.

I think I’ll stick around for just a little longer. 🌱🧡

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[whentherewerebicycles]

question: when you're starting a new job, what do you most want out of your first week of onboarding? what's most helpful for you to know/understand upfront? also... what's not helpful? tell me your onboarding nightmare stories too lol

[mieczyhale]

@gay-jewish-bucky IT REALLY FUCKING IS. No matter what if it’s a canon gay couple it’s just not going to be good enough for the exact same people who complain about wanting more gay rep. Part of getting gay rep is accepting that we’re going to get rep for all kinds of gays, all kinds of relationships, all levels of relevance - not just the kind that some people want or deem acceptable.

We finally have what is, in my opinion, a pretty well balanced canon queer ship that isn’t just ~hints and eye contact~, that isn’t squeaky clean, that have meaningful conversations and show love and affection like it’s not a big deal. It’s treated on equal levels to any straight ship on the show and I think that’s a breath of fresh goddamn air tbh.

I know people are always going to complain, but this topic has gotta be one of the most annoying and most exhausting ones. People should be happy we get any kind of lgbtqa+ rep, and that that rep is getting not just more diverse over the years but better too. There’s never going to be Perfect Queer Representation and to bitch and hold out for it?? To nitpick the fuck out of every ship?? Why would you, y’know??