#WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS

[kc5rings]

BAAAAAYYYYYLE!!!!

[crabknight]

@beantothemax THE OLD SCREAMING MAN!!!!

CURSE YOU BAYLE ‼️

Igon from Elden Ring, Shadow of the Erdtree (bonus non-summon version because yeah) You can get a print of this illustration [here]

[silverformymonsters]

REST OF THE DREAD DRAGON

[geminialchemist]

Man, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that Fromsoft and GRRM had the Miquella parts of the plot of the DLC ignore basically everything we knew previously about him, from his attempts to revive Godwyn, his close connection with his sister, Malenia and wanting to heal her, basically everything about unalloyed gold that was his trademark, and the once close bond between himself and his father, Radagon, and instead they wrote him as Mohg’s Miquellester instead of the other way around, and that he planned Mohg’s death so that he could marry his other half brother, Radahn, who he also tried to kill, all of which is only loosely connected to his reasons behind(but given much more emphasis than) him ascending to Godhood!

Thank Gwyn that didn’t actually happen though, right? It was just a dream, right?

[scalproie]

FUCK YOU BAAAAAAYYYYYYLE

[peppylilsesame]

CURSE YOU BAYLE🗣🗣🫵🫵🔥🔥💯💯‼️‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅

CURSE YOU BAYLE

Quick colored sketch of my new favorite npc Igon

[cryptotheism]

CURSE YOU BAYLE

SOLID IN SCALE YOU MIGHT BE FOUL DRAGON BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH HOLES YOUR ROTTEN HIDE WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING

[retro-mexicano]

Wait...? What the fuck bro! You telling me my maidenless ass would have met a friendlier Malenia and she would call me "Sweet Tarnished". Instead of Blade of Miquella on sight!! ........... inhales deeply......, sigh ~

"CURSE YOU, BAYLE!!!

I HEREBY VOW! YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY!!

Solid of scale you might be, FOWL DRAGON...

But I will RIDDLE WITH HOLES YOUR ROTTEN HIDE!

WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS!

WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING!!

NYAAAAAAHHHHG!!!!!!"

[gascoignes-homewrecker]

What the fuck did you just say about me, O Vile Bayle? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Dragon Communion, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on drakes, and I have eaten over 300 confirmed hearts. I am trained in arcane warfare and I'm the top harpoon slinger in the entire Shadowlands. Solid of scale you might be, there is life in me yet. I will soon feast upon your heart the likes of which has never been seen before in the Land's Between, I hereby vow. You think you can get away with tearing off my limbs? Think again, O Vile One. Mark my words: I am cutting off my remaining finger and giving it to this true Drake Warrior right now so you better prepare for the drake hunt, frozen maggot. The hunt that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You will rue this day, Bayle. I can be summoned anywhere (just to the left), anytime (after walking into the arena), and I can eat your heart in over seven hundred ways, and that's without seasoning. Not only am I extensively trained with my greatbow, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Dragon Communion incantations and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your scaly ass off the face of the continent, O Terror Incarnate. If only you could have known what unholy retribution biting my leg off was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your forked fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now your fear is made flesh, you Placidusaxdamned idiot. I will riddle with holes your rotten hide with a hail of harpoons. You too shall know fear, Bayle.

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

Okay but what about NOT classic shanty hits. Huh. What about FANTASY shanties?

My favorite sub-genres are "Oh My GOD The Captain Is So Cool" and the much more vanilla "We're Pirates Doing Pirate Things"

Classic sea shanties like:

"I fucking hate this ship and I cannot wait to get off."

"I got off the ship on the dock but I know I'm going to get back on the ship when my leave is up. Fuck."

"Storm."

"Big storm."

"Is it just me or does this ship have like. Really clean lines. Like damn. Okay. Not saying I'm feeling attracted to the ship, per se, but. Damn."

"Sometimes you see weird shit that you cannot explain and you just kinda have to shrug and go. Welp."

[aleskiin]

CURSE YOU BAYLE!

I hereby vow!

You will rue this day! Behold, a true drake warrior! And I, Igon!

Your fear made flesh!

Solid of scale you might be, foul dragon…

But I will riddle with holes your rotten hide!

With a hail of harpoons!

With every last drop of my being!

[lassairfhina]

Curse ☠️⚡ you, ❌🖕Bayle! 😡🤬❌🐲 I hereby vow! ☝️You  will rue 🤦 this day! 😡🌄Behold,❗❕ a true Drake🐉🐲 Warrior!⚔️🛡️ And I, Igon! 💅 Your fear 😱😨made flesh! Solid 🪨🪖of scale you might be, foul 👎 🤮🤢dragon 🐲🐉 … But I will riddle 🔫 with holes 🕳️your rotten💩 hide! With a hail 🌩️🌨️ of harpoons!🔪☄️🔱 With every last drop 🩸💧💦 of my being! 🪦☠️

[thewisecheerio]

More Elden Ring DLC Brainrot

Is Messmer sitting in the dark because he's blind? Or photophobic? Or is he just weird?

CUUUUUURSE YOU, BAAAAAAAAAAYLE!

Could we hook up Boc and Ymir so that Ymir can have lots of pretty dresses?

Does Ansbach ever tell Thiollier to his face what he told us--that Thiollier's an admirable fighter, against all claims to the contrary?

Who owns the shampoo company that supplies Marika and her long locks, and how rich are they now?

SOLID OF SCALE YOU MIGHT BE, FOUL DRAGON!

What do you think the perfume bottles smell like?

How do I join the Dancers of Ranah fan club?

How tiring is it for the priests to traverse Enir-Ilim each day in worship?

BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH HOLES YOUR ROTTEN HIDE!

What do baby fingercreepers eat?

How much collective introspection has the Elden Ring community gained from the poison swamps?

WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS!

Does St. Trina herself sleep? Do any demigods?

How much shorter would the plot be if Marika kept even one (1) therapist on staff?

WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING!

If I chew through the fabric of the universe, can I nap in the flowers in Charo's Hidden Grave?

But what *kind* of snake food is Messmer feeding the winged serpents? Can I get it at Petco?

[amummy]

curSE YOU BAAAAAAAAYLEEEEEE!!!

I HEREBY VOOOOOOOW!!! 🙏 🧎‍♂️‍➡️

YOU WILL RUE THIS DAAAY!!!! 🗓️

BEHOLD, A TRUE DRAKE WARRIORRRR!!! 🤺

YOUR FEARS MADE FLESH! 💀 😱

SOLID OF SCALE YOU MIGHT BE, FOUL DRAGON… 🐲 🐉

BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH HOLES YOUR ROTTEN HIDE!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS!!!! 🗡️ 🗡️ 🗡️

WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING! 😡

[gaysnorlax]

CURSE YOU, 😂 BAYLE! I 🤢 HEREBY 👇📜 VOW, YOU 👆 WILL 🌽 RUE THIS DAY! 🌞 BEHOLD, A TRUE 💯 DRAKE 🧔🏾 WARRIOR, AND I, 😝 IGON! YOUR 📉 FEARS 😰😱 MADE 👆 FLESH! SOLID OF SCALE YOU 👈 MIGHT 🍃 BE, 🤣 FOUL DRAGON, 🐉 BUT 🤔 I 😀 WILL 🤴 RIDDLE WITH HOLES 👂 YOUR 👉 ROTTEN 🤢🤮 HIDE! 🙈 WITH A HAIL OF HARPOONS, WITH EVERY 😹 LAST 😍 DROP 💧 OF MY 😯 BEING! 👏😩

[idiot-squared]

baaaayyyllleeee

Curse you, Bayle! I hereby vow! You will rue this day! Behold, a true Drake Warrior! And I, Igon! Your fear made flesh! Solid of scale you might be, foul dragon … But I will riddle with holes your rotten hide! With a hail of harpoons! With every last drop of my being!