#WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A TEENAGER MY MAN?

[kiwriteswords]

My Funny Valentine [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader]

Masterlist (not updated, sorry!)|| Ao3||Word Count: 1.9k|| AN: I have been binge-re-watching The Nanny for the first time since I was a teenager and got to the episode where Fran buys a billboard for Mr. Sheffield after thinking he was her secret admirer. I had to do this for Hotch and Reader!

Tags/Warnings: female reader, BAU reader, will they won't they relationship, Valentine's Day, mentions of Haley, mentions of a creepy police officer, based off an episode of The Nanny, fools in love.

Summary: Given your undeniable chemistry and attraction for one another, when an unsigned card with flowers and a teddy bear shows up on your desk, you assume it's from Hotch. After making a grand gesture for what you thought was in return, you both soon realize the truth.

Ever since you joined the BAU, your interactions with Hotch have been a mixture of professional respect and undeniable chemistry. Over the years, the flirty banter had evolved into a dance of “will they, won't they,” much to the entertainment--and sometimes frustration--of the team. 

Everyone could see the mutual attraction except, it seemed, the two of you.

Being Hotch's subordinate, you treaded carefully, harboring feelings you dared not confess, always secretly hoping he'd be the one to break the professional boundary.

You were younger--not inappropriately so (maybe just a little)...well, enough to make you question if this chemistry was all in your head. Enough questioning to allow these feelings to remain at a standstill--or at least until he broke first. 

This Valentine's Day seemed like any other day at the BAU, but when you arrived at your desk, you found a bouquet of pink carnations and a teddy bear holding a card. Your heart skipped a beat as you read the flirty message. 

"To the one who captures my thoughts as easily as she profiles unsubs. Happy Valentine's Day."

You couldn't help but think it was from Hotch. Carnations and a teddy bear? Not what you would have imagined Hotch picking out, but nonetheless, thoughtful. Unexpected. Thrilling. 

He was finally crossing that line drawn in the sand. The one you blurred and blurred but ultimately never swept away. 

Excitement bubbling up inside you, you rushed to share the news with Penelope Garcia, your go-to confidante for all things romantic and dramatic. The one who had been arguably rooting for you and Hotch more than anyone. 

Maybe it was the hopeless romantic in her, or maybe…just maybe, the proof was there in plain daylight with the way you and Hotch played your games with one another. Like a tennis match of back and forth--over and over. 

“My gosh,” Penelope squealed, looking at the card, “I mean…I can’t believe it. What are you going to do? What are you going to say!?” She leaned forward, capturing your arm, almost to steady her own excitement. 

“I want to do something for him…something nobody’s ever done for him before.” You thought carefully. 

Many would argue that you were…of the dramatic kind. Maybe that’s why you and Penelope got along so easily. Hotch would argue that you were dramatic the most. You often used it to your own advantage with him. 

You knew--although you’d both never admit it--you had Hotch wrapped around your finger so it was easy to use those puppy dog eyes when you didn’t feel like completing a case assignment or if you wanted the bigger room at the hotel. 

“You know,” Penelope pondered, “Now that I think of it,” She scrunched her face, “All of these years here, I’m not sure anyone’s ever left Hotch a Valentine. I mean…I gave him a pink fostered sugar cookie once, but even Haley…I don’t think there was anything here for him.” 

You smirked, raising an eyebrow, “He doesn’t seem like the type that’s going to like a velvet heart-shaped box filled with fruit-filled chocolates.” 

“That man is a closet sweet eater,” Penelope pointed at you, “But to your point, you’ve gotta do something…something grand. Something that will knock his argyle socks off.” 

You snorted, then really thought. Grand. Grand? What would be grand? Then it came to you. 

“I have the best idea.” 

The two of you giggled and brainstormed extravagant ideas to win Hotch's heart, finally settling on a grand gesture that no one could ignore--a billboard confession. You found the idea so wildly romantic, the perfect way to tell Hotch how you felt.

With Penelope's enthusiastic encouragement, you commissioned a billboard on Hotch's route home.

“Be My Valentine, Aaron Hotchner! Love your Y/N” 

However, as you prepared to leave work that evening, you received a call from the local police department asking if you enjoyed the flowers. Your stomach dropped as you recognized the voice--it was the overly friendly officer from your last case, the one Hotch had given a look to the entire time. 

The cheesy teddy bear. The cheap carnations. The corny card. None of that would be Hotch. You wanted to die. Crawl into a ball and die of embarrassment and stupidity, but not until after you got rid of that billboard!

Frantic, you rushed to find Rossi, Derek, and Spencer, blurting out your predicament and the mistake you’d made. They erupted into laughter but saw the urgency of the situation.

"We’ve got to get that billboard down before Hotch drives home!" you exclaimed, your face burning with embarrassment. You paced around the bullpen, looking up to Hotch’s office, then to them, then back up. You ran your hand over your face, stressed. 

Rossi, Spencer, and Derek gathered around you, each wearing an expression that meant business. Derek leaned against his car, arms crossed. "You know, you could just leave that billboard up. It's about time one of you made a move."

Rossi nodded, his wise eyes fixed on you. "We're all tired of the dance, kid. It's not just you suffering from all this uncertainty--Hotch is right there with you. You both need to take that leap."

Spencer chimed in, "Statistically, the likelihood of mutual feelings being reciprocated in situations like these is quite high. You might be pleasantly surprised."

You appreciated their support, but the thought of Hotch seeing the billboard without understanding the context terrified you. You grabbed your car keys and headed to the nearest hardware store. "I just need to fix this before it gets worse," you muttered more to yourself than to them.

At the hardware store, you picked up a bucket of paint and a roller, your hands trembling slightly at the thought of climbing up the billboard. Heights had never been your friend, but today, they seemed a lesser evil compared to the embarrassment of Hotch reading your unintended public declaration.

With the sun setting, you parked your car by the billboard and stared up at the looming structure. Steeling your nerves, you looked up toward the tall ladder that led to a ledge where the freshly painted billboard sat. You wished the service you paid earlier was available after hours to come and take down the work they had done so quickly. 

Each step up made your heart pound louder, but the fear of making a fool of yourself pushed you onward.

Once you reached the top, you positioned yourself to start painting, but a sudden wave of vertigo hit as you peered down. The can of paint slipped from your grip, tumbling down and splattering the ground below with white paint.

You looked up to the sky and raised your hands with defeat and tears forming in your eyes, “Is this some sick joke?!”

Climbing down was even harder, with your hands shaking and tears of frustration starting to blur your vision. Just as you reached the last few rungs, a pair of steady hands gently guided you down. You almost jumped out of your skin, only to turn and see Hotch, his face filled with concern.

"Hey, it's okay," he soothed, keeping his hands on your shoulders to steady you.

You took a deep breath, wiping away a stray tear, turning as you took your last step off the ladder. He steadied you on the last few steps down, his touch reassuring.

"I'm so sorry, Hotch. There’s been a huge misunderstanding," you began, your voice a mix of embarrassment and relief. "I thought those flowers and the teddy bear were from you, and Penelope and I--we…I just got carried away."

Hotch gave you a small, understanding smile. "Emily and JJ told me there was a surprise waiting for me on the freeway home. I left early to see what it was." The last thing you expected was Hotch’s calm voice breaking through your flustered apologies. 

Your heart sank, imagining what he must have thought seeing that message. "I was trying to cover it up before you could see it. I didn’t want you to find out like this." You gestured up to the brightly colored billboard with what felt like the most embarrassing thing in the world displayed for everyone and their mother to see. 

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” His gaze softened as he looked up at the message, then back to you. "I saw the billboard," he admitted a hint of awe in his voice. "Nobody has ever done anything quite like that for me. It was...unexpected, certainly, but kind in a way only you could manage."

Your heart fluttered, surprise etching across your features. "You liked it?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper, unsure if your ears were playing tricks on you.

"I loved it," he corrected gently, his hands still resting lightly on your shoulders. "You have a knack for the dramatic, but it’s one of the many reasons I..." His voice trailed off, and he hesitated, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. The pause was palpable, every second stretching longer than the last until finally, he continued, "It’s one of the many reasons I love you."

The world seemed to stop spinning as his words hung in the air. "You love me?" you repeated, your voice a mix of hope and disbelief. Hotch reached up to brush a stray hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. His hand lingered, cupping your cheek gently. Your hand reached up to cover his, leaning into his touch. 

Hotch nodded, a soft chuckle escaping him, as if it was common knowledge, like you should already know it--or maybe he realized he should have already said it. 

"Yes, I do. And I think it’s about time I said it."

Emotions swirled within you--relief, joy, and a love that had been quietly simmering for too long. It all bubbled to the surface as you stepped closer, reducing the space between you. "I love you too, Hotch," you confessed, your voice steady with conviction.

His smile was all the encouragement you needed. You both leaned in and under the soft glow of the streetlights and the shadow of the billboard, your lips met in a kiss that sealed the confessions of the day. The kiss was gentle at first, exploratory as if both of you were still gauging the reality of the moment. But as certainty took over, it deepened, affirming the years of unspoken feelings and flirtatious banter.

As you both pulled away, Hotch's eyes twinkled with a mixture of contentment and mischief. "Next time," he said with a playful grin, "I'll be the one buying flowers; you’ll know they’re from me. I wouldn’t dare buy you carnations, and they won’t come with a cheap teddy bear."

Your laughter filled the air, light and free, as you both made your way back to your cars, the billboard forgotten but its message now etched in both your hearts.

The next morning, as you walked into the BAU, you stood surprised. There, on your desk, stood two dozen long-stem roses in a vase, their crimson petals vibrant against the mundane backdrop of your office. Attached to the vase was a card, Hotch’s neat handwriting spelling out a message that was both flirty and utterly him: 

"For the record, I prefer dramatic gestures that involve flowers on days other than just February 14th. Here’s to many more, just the way we like them. --A."

The smile that spread across your face lingered long into the day, as did the warmth in your heart, knowing the dance of “will they, won't they” had transformed into a harmonious “finally, we did.”

Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry @superlegend216

[kaptainandy]

Okay okay okay hold up! You are definitely on to something here! I think Jack being a teen when he moved in is actually very plausible especially because of a detail about the Kelly family that has been in the back of my mind that I didn't know what to make of until now.

I should preface I haven't gotten around to watching/listening TASP so they could've touched on what I'm about to bring up. ANYWAY, why do Bonnie, Jack, and Charlie all having the surname Kelly? This wouldn't have been a question if it hadn't been for the introduction of Shelley Kelly.

What I'm getting at is, before Shelley, it could be assumed Kelly was Bonnie's maiden name. But since she shares the last name with Shelley, we can assume she took on his name for whatever reason (more speculation on that later). And if that's the case, Jack would theoretically still have Bonnie's maiden name as his surname, not Kelly.

So, this brings me to the two possibilities:

a) Bonnie's maiden name actually is Kelly and it was coincidence that Shelley had the same last name, thus explaining Jack's surname being the same as well. Possible, because it's not an unpopular last name, plus it was used as a way to clue the viewers in during the Ireland episode that this Shelley Kelly guy is almost definitely related to Charlie. However, if them sharing a last name was coincidence, I feel like one of the character's would've said something like, "damn Charlie what are the odds?" kinda comment. If it was meant to be played for humor it seems odd RCG would gloss over that since it wouldn't click for most people if not explicitly stated.

or

b) Bonnie changed her last name to Shelley's, as is tradition in both the US and UK. Now this could mean that they were either married, or Bonnie changed her name in an attempt at bonding Charlie to his dad, or some other reason. Reason aside, it would make a lot more sense that Jack would have his last name changed too if he was a teenager as opposed to a grown man.

Assuming Jack was a teenager and Bonnie was taking him in - especially in the event of escaping an abusive household - she likely legally adopted him/took legal guardianship of him. Especially in the US, Bonnie being his legal guardian makes getting healthcare, enrolling in school, etc. way easier for her to accomplish for Jack. Aside from the legal aspect, she likely would also want to ingratiate her brother into their household and sharing a name would definitely make him feel like he belonged. And in the event Bonnie and Jack's parent(s)/guardian(s) were abusive, it makes sense they would want to distance themselves any way they could.

As for why Bonnie would change her surname in the first place, my guess is she was desperate to have Shelley in Charlie's life and despite his obvious disinterest, she deluded herself enough to thinking changing her name would convince him to stay. This is simply my theory and could be speculated about all day so I'm curious what y'all think.

As to why Bonnie kept the surname Kelly despite Shelley being a deadbeat? I imagine the main reason for this is she did it for Charlie. Bonnie was very encouraging of Shelley and Charlie having a relationship via letters and whether or not she told Charlie (or assumed he knew) Shelley was his father, sharing a surname is likely another attempt at connecting them.

Additionally, maybe sharing a surname would make pushing for child support - especially in an international case, and doubly so if the couple was never actually married - and other aid from the father an easier process. This point is just very loose conjecture on my part as I am a dumb dumb and only have a less than flimsy grasp on US law at best, let alone international law. But I digress.

I say all this to strengthen the case that Kelly is not the original shared surname of Bonnie and Jack and that Jack's name was changed when he legally became the dependant of Bonnie. And that, again, would really only make sense if he was a teenager at the time.

Also another point: if we assume the characters are close in age to the actors that play them, Lynne Marie Stewart was born in 1946. If Bonnie's birth year is around the same time that makes her ~30 years older than Jack. If that's the case, then perhaps Jack wasn't leaving an abusive household, but rather was left orphaned after their last surviving parent/guardian passed.

In conclusion, thanks to OP I will be thinking about the Kelly Family Situation nonstop for the foreseeable future and what this means for the characters. Thank you OP for providing me a link to attach this random detail to a theory that has poured fuel on my hyperfixation.

I hope I'm not forgetting some detail that explains this all away because I do not wanna look like boo boo the fucking fool who just typed all this out lmao

Somehow I never really realized that Andrew Friedman and Charlie Day only have a 5 year age difference between them (I assumed it was closer to 10 years), and I realized I've kinda always assumed Uncle Jack was a grown adult when he moved in with the Kellys, when Charlie was a kid (perhaps incorrectly?)

Is Uncle Jack supposed to be canonically significantly older than Andrew Friedman is? Or is he actually cast to his age and supposed to be in his early thirties in Season 1? (I don't think there's an actual answer here, they don't age him in the script or discuss it in the TASP episode.)

But I'm wondering: do you guys automatically assume Uncle Jack is significantly older than Charlie? Or am I alone in just, like, ignoring the actor's actual age and defaulting him to, more or less, looking as he did in Season 1 when Charlie was a kid?

We don't really know the circumstances of Jack originally moving in with Bonnie and Charlie, but now realising their age difference, Jack actually being fairly young when he moved in with them almost, upsettingly, makes more sense than him being a grown adult at the time:

Bonnie taking in her much younger, teen brother (in some absence of her parents being able to care for him, or even paying her to take care of him instead) and sticking him in her son's room would logically make way more sense than if he were a grown man at the time. In many ways, she would see these acts as good deeds: becoming a caretaker to her brother and giving her son a pseudo-brother (who seemed to be happy to love and protect him), which would almost explain why she cannot accept (or even fathom) that this instead resulted in inflicting extreme trauma on her son.

Similarly, the closer age difference between Jack and Charlie would account more for Bonnie being able to turn a blind eye/take Uncle Jack's side when it comes to the "wrestling" comments. If Jack was a grown adult, it's hard not to not raise an eyebrow at, but you would almost expect that a teenage boy would be rowdy with his nephew, and that they would playfight, if not actual fight, quite often while sharing a small space. Conceivably, Bonnie really wouldn't have stopped to question the relationship between Jack and Charlie at the time if he was her displaced teen brother, as opposed to her strange adult brother.

[wonderjanga]

Yous an Old Bitch

It was about normal day, and Marvel was being interviewed. It was a fairly normal interview. The reporter was asking normal questions and the topic of his age came up. Somehow, after more talking, he for some reason dropped this line:

Marvel: “Listen, if something has a lightning bolt like mine, I probably either made it, or someone inspired it off of me.”

This single line led to a manhunt, looking for items with the bolt. Museums have never been richer.

Person 1: “Did you make this?” *shoves their phone into his face*

Marvel: *pushes the phone away so he can get a better look* “No, it was made for me.” *staring at the photo of an unfinished statue*

Person 1: *enraptured* “Please explain.”

Marvel: “Well, it was a really hot day, and the sculptor guy was taking forever. So like halfway through, I flew out the window and just decided to avoid the sculptor guy. The guy died before he could finish my thing. That’s why the statue isn’t done!”

Someone videoed this and after seeing this, many more people worked up the courage to ask him about their finds.

Person 2: “Captain Marvel, did you make this?” *shows him a photo of a really beat up piece of metal that had a tiny lightning bolt*

Marvel: “Yes actually! That was my first actually good piece of metal work.”

Person 2: “You can do metalwork?”

Marvel: “Yup!”

Person 2: “What was it originally?”

Marvel: *nostalgic* “It was kinda like a tiara only this was before tiaras were things.”

Person 2: “Was it pretty?”

Marvel: “Of course!” *sounds proud* “In fact, it was so pretty that if it were up to me, I’d march right into that museum and restore it with some magic! Though I don’t think the museum would let me.”

Person 2: “Wait, who was it for?”

Marvel: “My wife!”

Person 2: “Huh?”

News that he had a wife spread like wildfire.

or

Person 3: “Did you make the newly discovered cave paintings in China?”

Marvel: “What cave paintings?”

Person 3: *shows him a photo*

Marvel: “Oh. Yeah! Me and a buddy were messing around there. See those symbols?” *points to some symbols*

Person 3: *nods head*

Marvel: “See, that was our language from back then and it basically says that the chief of our tribe sucked. In short, teenage caveman vandalism, only we weren’t teenagers.” *looks nostalgic* “Man, those were good times… I mean, sure, we got stoned to death for that, but still!”

Person 3: *horrified and intrigued*

Also FUCK ME because I had to rewrite this THREE FUCKING TIMES because it DIDNT SAVE. WHATEVER IS UP THERE DOESNT WANT ME TO GO BACK TO MY NORMAL POSTING SCHEDULE. THIS SHIT SHOULDVE BEEN OUT TWO HOURS AGO.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

(Sailor Moon AU)

Adam ran through the hallways of a palace like every dream he had recently. He looked outside at the surface of the moon outside. The palace was an area of the moon that thrived and had life. But he continued to run passing by his reflection that was of a beautiful woman with flowing long brown hair and in a gown that was white and gold. On his forehead was a crescent moon mark of gold. He found what he was looking for, he Prince, his one true love. But a woman hidden in the shadows stabbed him through the chest.

Adam: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

The crystal in his hands pulsed with power around him, but before he could see what happened next he woke up in bed. Adam stumbled out of bed. He was a tall and attractive teenager with short brown hair and honey brown eyes. He pulled on his school uniform and went down stairs. His mother Rosie was setting up breakfast for him and his younger brother Abel.

Rosie: Good luck on the exam today sweetie.

Abel: He is going to fail.

As much as Adam loved him, Abel could be annoying. As a response Adam stuck out his tongue. After breakfast he ran through the streets and saw a group of kids harassing a cat.

Adam: Hey you little shitheads, stop it.

Adam ran over and picked up the cat. There was a bandage on the cat’s head and he removed it to see a crescent moon marking. But what really caught his attention was the teenager that ran to him. He had to be a year or two older than Adam with golden blonde hair and blue eyes. His uniform was from a very exclusive high school for the gifted.

Lucifer: Hey is everything alright, I saw those kids harassing that cat and came to help, my name is Lucifer Morningstar by the way.

Adam: My name is Adam Kadmon.

Adam was sure he was blushing up a storm at this very handsome young man. But the cat jumped out of Adam’s arms and onto a fence, the cat looked at Adam and ran away.

Lucifer: My school is close to where your school is, do you mind if I walk with you?

Adam: Not at all.

Lucifer watched the beautiful young man walking with him. He remembered his dreams of a Princess that lived on the moon. This Adam felt so much like her in spite of the fact that Adam was a man. If it wasn’t for his nightly activities he would have asked Adam if he wanted to hang out with him. Once they made it to Adam’s school, Adam smiled and waved at Lucifer before walking towards the school building. Just then Adam’s childhood friend, Angel walked up to him. In spite of the fact that Angel was a boy he always wore the girls school uniform because he said it was cuter.

Angel: So who was that hottie with you?

Adam: His name is Lucifer, I am sure that he was walking with me to be nice.

Angel: With the way he was looking, I don’t think that was the case. He is definitely attracted to you.

For the rest of the day his mind kept drifting to Lucifer.

There was just something about him that drew Adam in, maybe it was his kind blue eyes or the way he smiled before going to his own classes for the day.

Whatever it was, Adam was smitten with Lucifer and hoped to see him again and soon.

When he got home from school he went to his room to do his homework, sitting at his desk there was a scratching at his window. It was the kitty from before with the moon crest on its forehead.

Adam: Oh, hello kitty kitty.

He opened the window letting her in, he gave her a few pats.

Kitty: Adam?

Adam screamed and fell over: DEVIL CAT!!

Kitty: Shhh! My name is Luna and I've been looking for you.

Adam: What?

Luna: Yes, I need to tell you your purpose and why I'm here to help you. You're Sailor Moon, you're meant to protect the world from evil.

Adam watched in awe as this kitty used some magic to make a wand appear, it had a moon crest design on it, the handle black and gold.

Luna: To activate your power, just hold the wand up and say "Moon Prisim Power".

Adam was skeptical and wondering if he was dreaming. Carefully he picked up the wand and held it, it was smooth and not too heavy.

Here goes nothing.

Adam held it up: Moon Prisim Power!

A colorful light came out and surrounded him, he was covered in ribbons that changed into different clothes.

He now wore red knee high boots, white elbow length gloves, a blue and white sailor top with a large red bow and a mini red skirt. And to top it off he had a good tiara in his hair.

He looked good.

Adam: ..... Why am I dressed like a chick?

Luna: I can't tell you that, you have to figure that out for yourself.

Adam sighed, at least he made it look good. Kind of reminded him of his dream.

[trelinha9]

Every time I see a Friede x Amethio post, ten of my neurons die. I know these posts come from new fans who only watched the episodes released on Netflix (which goes up to 13 if I'm not mistaken), and he's only appeared in 6 episodes at this point (which is a crime against my mental health. What the hell is he doing in that time offscream? I WANT ANSWERS!!!) I remember in the first episodes of Horizontes, that Tumblr and AO3 were full of posts and fics about Friede x Amethio, and they disappeared over time as the episodes went on.

It's funny, because nowadays, almost a year after Horizons officially started, fans who watch the subtitled episodes are all worried about the mental health of this teenager and wondering why the heck they are in Exploradores, while the new fans are in the same boat as most of the old ones were and abandoned, shipping the poor guy with Friede.

I personally never shipped them because:

1: Amethio is, canonically, and confirmed by his original voice actor, a teenager (on bulbapedia it said he was between 13 and 19, but now they removed that part and only added the fact that he is a teenager, without mentioning a possible age) I headcanon him as 16, because, for me, it's the age that makes the most sense for his behavior and mannerisms, but that's just me. You can imagine him as 18 or 19 if that makes you feel more comfortable shipping him with Friede, but it doesn't change the fact that he's still a young and emotionally immature person, with no apparent emotional support base other than his Pokémon and his subordinates (Zir and Conia will get there someday, I know they will), while Friede is a fully grown adult, and clearly more mature than Amethio (there's even a line about it in episode 25). Friede had already been a Pokémon teacher for probably a reasonable amount of time when Liko was around 5 to 7 years old (we find out about this in episode 18), and honestly, Amethio doesn't look that much older than Liko. The clear age difference between them makes me uncomfortable. There are a lot of adults in the Horizons cast to be shipped with Friede, leave the traumatized teenager alone.

2: The way Friede, especially in the first arc, keeps teasing Amethio, even though he's clearly irritated and on edge, makes me want to punch him. I love Friede. But the way he interacts with Amethio, one minute he's having a good time taking care of Liko and Roy, and the next he's ready to annoy the shit out of a teenager make me so angry. I love this idea that Friede is a complete social disaster who doesn't really know how to pick up cues (scareing a deaf girl, for example, is definitely something he would do by accident 👀), but there's no way he can't see how negatively his actions and words affect Amethio. Amethio wants to prove himself. He wants to fulfill the mission ordered to him, and this idiot adult, in addition to getting in the way, bothers him every chance he gets (ep 5, ep 22 and ep 25 are the best examples). I'm amazed at how Friede either doesn't really realize the harm his actions cause to Amethio, or he does and simply decides to keep doing it.

This post may make it seem like I don't like Friede, which isn't true. I love Friede. I think he's a very funny character, but he also has a lot of flaws, and bullying a teenager is one of them.

I don't want to start fights about ships, because I'm not in Horizontes for the ships, but for the story and the characters. The only ship I really like is Friede with a certain Explorer who erased a child's memory (because for the love of god, they couldn't have made their battle in the last episode any less gay, could they) I don't want to offend anyone who ships Friede and Amethio, I just wanted to give my opinion on the matter and why I, with my interpretation of the story and characters, hate this ship. (Hate is a strong word, but I feel uncomfortable whenever I see this ship somewhere)

I'm really sorry if I offended anyone at any point in this post, I just don't like seeing a teenager and an adult being shiped.

[flying-cat]

Preparing myself to read a Persona 5 fic because it sounds super interesting but Maruki is a tagged character which means there's like a 70% chance that he's being mischaracterized

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[esta-elavaris]

Had a moment today that exemplifies how my family thinks but like, in a way that’s just very sad and makes me glad I don’t think that way.

Showed a relative the amazing painting that friend did for me, and her first response was “you’d be able to sell that for some good money!!!”

Like. No????

For months I’ve discussed this creative trade with this friend, we’ve talked about what the other wants, we’ve gotten excited about it and traded progress pics as we work on it for each other, gotten stoked over making plans to get to the post office and seeing the other finally get it, and it’s just been a very wholesome and very fun project. It took six weeks for us to complete these projects, and now I have something on display in my room that makes me very happy, that’s objectively beautiful, and that I know a friend put a lot of effort into making for me and was THRILLED when I adored it.

And my family’s immediate line of thinking is “make a few quid from it lol”.

I can’t imagine the headspace it must take to go through life like that.

[starpros-sunshine]

I think the reason I'm so uncomfortable in conversation with cis men is because in my life the image I've grown up with is that from the American movies and while there's so much to be said about how women in those are basically objects or exclusively love interests or just Really Really forgettable I feel like there's also something to be mentioned about how most of these men are all the same pseudo-tough-guy character that's cool and suave and sexy and the only emotion he's capable of is nonchalant banter (it feels worth mentioning that the American movies I'm referring to are all from the last century I have no idea if that's changed in these last years but a gut feeling tells me no) and I also barely talk to the guys from my grade so the result of kind of growing up with that is that I just genuinely can not imagine real cis men with a complex inner emotional landscape. Maybe this is also an empathy thing but I genuinely can not imagine most cishet guys doing normal people things in their free time that aren't gaming or going to the gym or...idk. making music too I suppose. It's quite comical really but I just can not imagine cishet men with interests or doing stuff like having crushes and it's so strange because I know for a fact I am generally speaking not a sexist person but this little tidbit of apparently just not being able to view cishet men as normal people? Can't get that to go away even if I logically know it's silly. There's a point in this post about how toxic masculinity is a huge issue and affects even those not affected by it and runs really really deep or whatever but I'm too tired to coherently put it together. On the positive side now I get really happy when I see men online talk about how much they love their wives and all that because it's like "wow! Crazy you really are just a normal dude and not some James Bond knock-off like I thought every cishet man was supposed to be! Thank god!"

[akascow]

man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day

[musical-chick-13]

Bro, I'm so tired.

[britneyshakespeare]

i have a very peculiar life where i've often, due to chronic illness and the resulting reclusive tendencies from said illness, just plain not associated with people of my own age on a regular basis for months or years at a time. but when i do go out, i'm, like, not an unattractive or socially unsuccessful person. well i'm not necessarily socially successful but i'm not unattractive. and i'll look back on like a certain period sometimes and realize that i had a lot of people trying to pursue me romantically, and i'm like "hey what happened to that? its been such a long while since anybody asked me out........."

"oh yeah i dont leave the house"

[donnatroyyyy]

Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.

[babsaros]

How did you know you were gay?

ah, couple reasons i guess. some that only became obvious with like 15 years of hindsight, and only after pulling myself out of the deep dark pit of compulsory heterosexuality.

like. classic symptoms of lesbianism include shamefully staring at the floor when you pass the women's underwear racks in the department store, even though you're not quite sure why you're uncomfortable. that sort of thing.

i have memories from early elementary school of accidentally glimpsing down a girl's shirt at recess and then bottling up that feeling and refusing to think about it. any time i had a crush on a boy, it was from an extremely idealized and safely non-actionable distance. the one time i did have a boyfriend, it was just my guy best friend from middle school, we dated for barely a school year before i ended it and the most physical intimacy i was ever comfortable with was holding his hand when we walked to class. i went to a different school's prom because a guy i was kind-of friends with asked me, and spent the whole night uncomfortably avoiding eye contact.

basically i started questioning my sexuality towards the end of high school, when i noticed myself getting like. jealous about my guy best friend's girlfriends?? like. i wanted to date them. i wanted to steal them from him lmao. i thought girls were pretty and soft and nice and cute and i was too afraid of being a predatory creep to do anything about it besides have far-fetched daydreams, but there was no heterosexual explanation. like, i hugged a girl i thought was pretty one time and it did things to my brain. that memory got locked in for life.

i identified as ace/pan early on, but again- compulsory heterosexuality. the idea of being with a guy romantically or sexually was never actually appealing. i had just been told that was what i was supposed to want my entire life, and the movies do a great job of selling that fantasy. but really i was just a lonely depressed helpless romantic teenager that wanted to be loved lol.

a large part of why i identified as asexual was because i was so sex-repulsed by the idea of penetration, honestly? (which i have since gotten over, but specifically Only with girls. the idea of having sex with a man still icks me out, and my preference is definitely femme-presenting ppl) a bit of it was probably also because i hadn't unpacked gender yet either. it made it very difficult to actually imagine myself having sex with anyone ever lol. this is gonna sound so cringe to say, but reading gay smut did awaken things in me.

in conclusion, tldr, i just like to think about tits and kissing women sometimes, idk. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[duodusk]

lol

[tallochar]

Tim: Look I might be a few hours here until I get a list of possibles, you really need some rest if you want those burns to heal. Bruce: You're right, but have the list ready for me when I get up. Tim: Sure thing, Bruce

From Batman #645 (1992), story by Chuck Dixon with art by Tom Lyle & Scott Hanna, image description in ALT.

Which means Tim is very early in his Robin career so around 14 years old (because he was 13 when he met Bruce and 16 to 17 years old in Teen Titan's Tower when Jason showed up, something always worth remembering in this fandom).

This comes on the heels of Bruce being electroctuted so hard his heart stopped beating (for a full minute and a half before it got restarted) in the Gotham sewers and Tim threatening the guy who did it (accidentally but the guy wasn't a good guy per se) into shocking Bruce back to life and, furthermore, on the heels of Tim telling Bruce to rest, Bruce refusing, Tim appealing to Alfred about it and Alfred pretty much going "I've done all I can, [following is a straight quote] Master Bruce is the very definition of intractable."

Actually, let me throw those two panels in as well XD

Panel #1 Bruce as Batman in shaky panels to signify a shaky voice: Robin? Tim as Robin: Don't try to talk. Bruce as Batman: .... get me home ... get me back to the cave ...

Panel #2 Tim: How many times are we going to have this conversation Bruce? Bruce: I'm feeling fine, Tim. I promise I'll get some rest. Tim: Some rest? You died tonight. For almost two minutes you were dead.

Panel #3 Bruce: Clinically dead. You and the Electrocutioner brought me back before there was any permanent damage. We have to go out again tonight. I have leads now. The Electrocutioner called the man we are after "Galvan". That should give us a key to the pattern of murders.

Panel #4 Tim: Can you talk to him Alfred? Just get him to knock off a couple of days? Alfred: I have exhausted my powers of persuasion on this subject, Tim. Master Bruce is the very definition of intractable. The man actually made a distinction between clinical and biological death as one of his arguments. Tim: Great.

From Batman #645 (1992) as well, immediately preceding the panel above, emphasis from the comic, story by Chuck Dixon with art by Tom Lyle & Scott Hanna, image description in ALT.

@uranium-glass-dice is absolutely right, this is not a teenager that Bruce has any authority or right to try and send to bed without being given an absolutely implication-laden flaying look for even thinking he had a right or a leg to stand on about trying to.

I want less of "the Drakes were terrible people and parents and Bruce rescues poor sad Timmy" (not knocking the trope it just got old for me)

And more of Bruce suffering a hell of his own creation as he tries to figure out how to parent Timothy "latchkey kid" Drake, who doesn't respect the concept of having parental supervision in general and more specifically Bruce's authority as his new guardian at all, because Tim was basically his caretaker for the entire beginning of his tenure as Robin

Any kind of Parental Action would have Bruce choking in his own hypocrisy. Like... imagine trying to get your teenage son to go to bed when he's been putting your ass down for naps for like, years, by that point. Imagine telling him to eat healthier when at 13 years old he was helping your butler with designing your meal plan 'cause you were too depressed to eat

Bruce gently tries to get him to stop working on a case to take a break, and Tim raises a single withering eyebrow (he learned this from Alfred) and Bruce immediately shuts up. Tim only listens to Bruce when he wants to and being legally adopted by the man hasn't changed that

(And I want fics of the rest of the batfam reacting to this dynamic soooooooo bad)