#a lot of my kinks are actually divorced from gender tbh

[babsaros]

How did you know you were gay?

ah, couple reasons i guess. some that only became obvious with like 15 years of hindsight, and only after pulling myself out of the deep dark pit of compulsory heterosexuality.

like. classic symptoms of lesbianism include shamefully staring at the floor when you pass the women's underwear racks in the department store, even though you're not quite sure why you're uncomfortable. that sort of thing.

i have memories from early elementary school of accidentally glimpsing down a girl's shirt at recess and then bottling up that feeling and refusing to think about it. any time i had a crush on a boy, it was from an extremely idealized and safely non-actionable distance. the one time i did have a boyfriend, it was just my guy best friend from middle school, we dated for barely a school year before i ended it and the most physical intimacy i was ever comfortable with was holding his hand when we walked to class. i went to a different school's prom because a guy i was kind-of friends with asked me, and spent the whole night uncomfortably avoiding eye contact.

basically i started questioning my sexuality towards the end of high school, when i noticed myself getting like. jealous about my guy best friend's girlfriends?? like. i wanted to date them. i wanted to steal them from him lmao. i thought girls were pretty and soft and nice and cute and i was too afraid of being a predatory creep to do anything about it besides have far-fetched daydreams, but there was no heterosexual explanation. like, i hugged a girl i thought was pretty one time and it did things to my brain. that memory got locked in for life.

i identified as ace/pan early on, but again- compulsory heterosexuality. the idea of being with a guy romantically or sexually was never actually appealing. i had just been told that was what i was supposed to want my entire life, and the movies do a great job of selling that fantasy. but really i was just a lonely depressed helpless romantic teenager that wanted to be loved lol.

a large part of why i identified as asexual was because i was so sex-repulsed by the idea of penetration, honestly? (which i have since gotten over, but specifically Only with girls. the idea of having sex with a man still icks me out, and my preference is definitely femme-presenting ppl) a bit of it was probably also because i hadn't unpacked gender yet either. it made it very difficult to actually imagine myself having sex with anyone ever lol. this is gonna sound so cringe to say, but reading gay smut did awaken things in me.

in conclusion, tldr, i just like to think about tits and kissing women sometimes, idk. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[lurkofyourlife]

Not to pop in your asks, BUT, just answering your q, as a trans person (non binary but still trans), about not wanting to seem like a chaser. Obviously, this might change from trans person to trans person. But all in all, basically you want to care about the person too.

Like yeah trans folks (both binary and non binary) are hot af, but like if all you care about is their transness that's going to come across as wrong. Because we're not a monolith. There are some shitty trans folks out there, and some great ones. We all have different interests. Some of us like gaming, or sports, or fashion, or books, etc.

So as long as you're interested in our personality, history, our core being outside of us being trans. Then you're aokay! Of course, again, this opinion changes from person to person (because trans folks can also be chasers, it's rare but it can happen), but that's how I view it tbh.

(I'm so sorry if you weren't actually asking, I just love your tags on my post lmfao 💖 from a fellow 90s pansexual)

(For context: the post/tags in question)

This is a really useful answer! Tbh as someone who’s actually super picky about the Person side of things (I’ll be honest: I’m far more attracted to personality than looks, sexual attraction has come and gone and come back at different times of my life, but then I have an insane libido and interest in kink) I have no doubt that irl I’m *very* much more into the person than the identity and/or body, but as a kink blog it can feel a little odd, since posts are pretty quickly divorced from who made them through the web of reblogging.

(More chatter below the cut)

As someone aesthetically attracted to a wide variety of gender and body types, though, but self-IDing as cis [given how much trans stories make me cry, I have had a lot of intense internal consideration on this, tbh, cause every time I’m in tears over trans joy part of me is like ??? is this egging? And then I consider it for a long time and nah, if anything I more relate to apagender/agender stuff but being a girl is fun for various story reasons lol— is that weird to say? I’m rambly, and I’ve thought about gender a LOT, given how many trans and enby friends I have, I frequently look critically at myself to check if I still ID as cis, and I do xD] I do feel a little unsure about how best to tell trans folks “hey you’re hot, I’m thirsty for you” without coming across as weirdly fetishy. To be clear: I’m thirsty for cis folks and trans folks (and enby and neogender stuff included); there’s a lot of pretty people in the world, and my kinks are gender-neutral! 😅

For now I’ve mostly just liked allll kinds of posts from all kinds of peeps, and then reblogged the thirsty posts about trans folks from trans folks rather than making my own (idk, feels like I’m just agreeing rather than shouting out over other people; this is an ABNORMAL AMOUNT OF THOUGHT to put into hornyposting lmao, I am so very tumblr-coded, I have been here too long ^^;) but like, admiring all the hornyposting by trans folks about trans bodies and I’m just like yeah, same, yes, I agree, you are 100% correct, I too would like to be bullied by flirt with ftm puppyboys and mtf puppygirls, yknow? (or the cool butch with the carabiner on her belt buckle, or the hot masc in his mesh crop top, or the genderqueer knife collector willing to put it to my throat— I am WEAK, okay, I am DEHYDRATED, my body is FIGHTING for MOISTURE—)

Anyway. Rambly as hell. But yeah, I promise it’s not based just on the transness, it’s all a draw to the kinks/powerplay/vibe 😅

….i’ll be honest, I’m not sure if this clarified ANYTHING, or if it’s just me over here like “👉👈 I’m just a bottom” OOPS.

But yeah, thank you for reaching out! And it made me happy you enjoyed my tags >< especially cause I tend to, as you can see, ramble. 🩷

Oh god and now I have to figure out how to tag this…