#Validation and Fulfillment

[turiyatitta]

The Paradox of Gain

A Journey Beyond the Self In our dialogue on Guru Viking, the episode “Bodhi in the Brain” unfolds a narrative that delves into the essence of spiritual enlightenment and the realization of oneness. The conversation between host, Steve James, and me explores the paradoxical nature of gain in the spiritual realm, a concept that challenges the conventional paradigms of achievement and…

[shorthaltsjester]

when people think delilah just completely takes over and laudna has no control. when people think jester is just an uwu child who has been manipulated by every man she’s met. when people think vex is an empty husk of daddy issues without her brother by her side. when people think fjord is an arrogant asshole who doesn’t pay attention to the party around him. when people think scanlan saying that vox machina doesn’t care about him is an accurate assessment.

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[agirlwithglam]

How do I stop comparing myself to others and how can I feel fulfilled on my own without needing anyone else's validation?

hiii<3 i feel what you're going through, trust me i do. here are some of my tips that specifically worked for me + at the end i'll include some more recommended things to read/ watch.

how to stop comparing & feel fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation

how to stop comparing yourself:

start focussing and thinking about yourself more. lol ok i realise that may sound like "become self absorbed" but i suppose, to some extent, that is what im saying. you're becoming too interested in others' life around you if you find yourself comparing. its time to focus on you and up levelling yourself to the best version possible.

comparison = wanting their life style, yes? so when you find yourself comparing to others in your life, realise that its because you envy something that they have. maybe its money, popularity, prettiness, intelligence, etc. so its like a signal in your brain which is telling you: "i want this. but i dont have it." so now what can you do, work hard to get it.

focus on what you have. i read a quote once (i think its by Oprah Winfrey) and it goes: "if you focus on what you don't have, you'll always have less. but if you focus on what you do have, you'll always have more." instead of looking at other's lives and thinking "i dont have this, i dont have that", look at your own life and think "i have this, i have that."

feeling fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation:

self love. self love. SELF LOVE. self love will ALWAYS be the answer to this. learn to LOVE yourself. and if you dont, ask why!! i have a whole guide on how to develop self love HERE. Stop looking for love in others, GIVE YOURSELF THE LOVE FIRST!!

It’s you over them. Always. Always always always. Always choose you over them. If they want you to do something but you don’t, then you say “no. I will not do that” it’s scary? Oh boohoohoo, suck it up. Because if you are constantly doing stuff that others ask you to just for the sake of pleasing them, you are disrespecting yourself in the worst way. You are basically saying that what they want is more important than what i want and need. Ew. Don’t do that.

extra resources:

a guide to develop self love & confidence (by me)

vanilla's opinion🍰 edition 1: dealing with hate & not caring about what others think. (by me)

ways to stay unbothered (by @pastel-charm-14)

Self validation (by @prettieinpink )

Tam Kaur's youtube channel

Thewizardliz youtube channel

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Thank you. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, Ramon. Yeah, let’s go, let’s- [realizes Ramon was writing a sign] oops.

Ramon: i’d accept u for anything 💚

Fit: Aw, thank you, Ramon.

Ramon: especially if u marry pac 😊

Fit: [Puts his head in his hands and leans completely off-camera, coming back up after a few long moments with a laugh] Of course, Ramon. If you desire it, child, it shall happen. Uh, but- but maybe more of like a– you know, like a long-term partnership, ‘cuz– Marriage is like a big commitment, Ramon! And there’s also like, tax implications, and like... Um, I would want to have a prenup, obviously, but…

Ramon: spring wedding

Fit: Um.

Ramon: we don't pay tax

[Long silent pause as they stare at each other]

Fit: Yeah, well– You know, it's just—

[Full Clip]

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

The way we discuss prophecy in fandom is genuinely fascinating. GRRM spends so much time showing how different characters have different interpretations of the same thing based on their own cultural contexts. He says that prophecy is tricky to navigate through multiple characters, showing that even the most careful practitioner can get almost everything wrong and fall victim to their own fallacies (see Mel). So tell me why the main takeaway for large parts of this fandom is “prophecy stupid, it doesn’t matter”. My brothers and sisters in R’hllor, GRRM didn’t invent multiple characters (three of whom are main POVs!!) who can see the future for this to be the conclusion. This is a FANTASY series. Please I’m begging, let us be serious 🥲

[studywithisabel]

i’m gonna be negative for a second so fair warning

the STEM obsession is literally a plague on the current academic world, especially the recent “women in stem” shit. of course people who are typically discouraged from male-dominated fields should receive encouragement from schools, recruiters, etc, but i am really sick of this being turned into “STEM is the only valuable career path and you are betraying your intelligence as a woman/poc/whatever by doing literally anything else.”

there are SO many non stem jobs that are essential to the proper functioning of society and are definitely NOT worth any less than being a doctor or engineer. i’m tired of there being zero scholarships, internships, encouragement in general for literally any other career path. it’s just disrespectful and honestly dangerous. we can’t let humanities-focused subjects and careers die because STEM is the current hot topic. and i just hate most of all the appropriation of feminism to do it.

[omegalerc]

re: meeting him irl and getting blindsided by his beauty, ricky i can confirm that he’s not only the sweetest ever in person but he also smelled so??? nice??????? couldn’t even place what it was but now ik omega pheromones were strong that day can’t believe he was just out and about like that

🚨 EVERYONE THE MATERNAL OMEGA PHEROMONES THAT OMEGA CHARLES SECRETES HAS BEEN CONFIRMED BY AN EXPERT INSIDER ANON

[bananonbinary]

as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[lord-squiggletits]

i know i’m late to the conversation—i just watched the movie this month—but i feel compelled to say this because i was genuinely shocked (still am) to see that the overwhelming takeaway for many viewers was the "d-16/megatron was right" bs. while it’s understandable to sympathize with his anger and grief, justifying his actions in the end or framing them as entirely right feels so deeply misguided. what surprised me even more was the tendency to shift the blame on orion/optimus, as though he was solely responsible for d-16’s downfall. it’s disheartening to see orion/optimus being villainized so much. his efforts to reason with d-16 came from a place of desperation and hope, as he tried to prevent the escalation of violence. at that point, d-16 had already begun to spiral into his unchecked rage, disregarding the safety of those around him. to see that nuance overlooked, with orion being faulted for a situation that was far beyond his control (the whole "don't be like sentinel" thing is often used to shit on op lol), is genuinely baffling.

while i love that the movie showed the tragedy of d-16’s arc and even empathize with his situation, painting his actions as justified—and vilifying orion/optimus in the process—feels like a misreading of the movie’s core message. sorry but i was so happy to see your post about the movie, it was tiring to see so many 'megatron was right about this and that' comments.

Oh man if you're new to this fandom, you really ought to know that this place is full of people who glorify terrorism and war in the name of "justified revolution" and it doesn't really matter what Dee/Megatron does or how horrible/over-the-top it is, he's oppressed or he's mentally ill or he's just plain upset which means that everything he does is justified and questioning him makes you evil.

It's so funny because I hoped for sure that a continuity where both OP and Megatron were working class individuals before the war would reduce this kind of shit take (compare to something like archivist/librarian OP and gladiator Megs in TFP or CBV, or cop OP and miner Megs in IDW1), but unfortunately this fandom literally still found a way to blame Orion for everything even though he suffered the exact same things Dee did..... and furthermore Orion literally was the rebel challenging the system compared to Dee who wanted to keep his head low and not cause trouble so honestly at this point I just think the fandom (and somehow new fans whose first exposure to TF is this movie) purely sides with Megatron on everything as either a knee-jerk reaction or some misguided attempt at being counterculture and intelligent.

People get sooooo mad when you tell them that unbridled rage and killing everyone who disagrees with you isn't a good social/political strategy, but then again this is a problem that is universal to humanity and not just the Transformers fandom. It's just a shame that so many people looked at a movie that blatantly spells out what the moral of the story is, and has all of the protagonists be working class oppressed people fighting against a tyrannical system, and their takeaway from it is still basically "fascism is okay if you're mad enough about it and if your friends try to stop you it's a sign that they're centrist liberals who think punching Nazis makes you as bad as a Nazi." It's childish black-and-white thinking masquerading as critical literary analysis.

And at this point people pretty much just don't give a shit about Orion/Optimus and will find a way to make him the villain no matter what the context is, no matter if he also has feelings or if he also deserves to be respected/listened to/validated as Megatron's long-time (possibly lifelong) friend. If ppl look at the way Dee treated Orion and their other friends and DON'T see what was concerning about that then there's really no saving them until they deradicalize a little and learn what usually happens when "kill all the bad people until society is a utopia" is implemented as a governing party's primary strategy.

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

[existentiol]

something that pisses me off in RA is that Flanagan will occasionally hype up Pauline as this super important and prominent figure in Will’s life, even treat her as a proxy for the mother he never knew, and yet will just refuse to show it beyond the like. two or three (personal) conversations that they have in canon. I get that he was attempting to make her an important person in Will’s life but why not do that by actually making her an important person in Will’s life

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[sapphorror]

oh the unbeatable romantic bond between an obsessive stalker and the guy with a pathological need to feel like the center of the universe at all times

[danrifics]

my friend is trying to set me up with a guy and she was like i know you’re ace but like would you have sex with someone cos i know know guys who would be perfect for you but they’re all not gonna wanna go with out sex and i had to explain like im so unbothered by the concept that if i had a partner who wanted that intimacy i would as long as they know it doesn’t mean to me what it does to them ?? like i wish we could move past this whole if you’re ace then you don’t want sex ever thing cos it’s simply not true 🙃