#Validation and Fulfillment
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The Paradox of Gain
A Journey Beyond the Self In our dialogue on Guru Viking, the episode “Bodhi in the Brain” unfolds a narrative that delves into the essence of spiritual enlightenment and the realization of oneness. The conversation between host, Steve James, and me explores the paradoxical nature of gain in the spiritual realm, a concept that challenges the conventional paradigms of achievement and…
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#Bodhi in the Brain#Boundless Love#Collective Harmony#cosmic tapestry#Ego Transcendence#Eternal Fulfillment#Guru Viking#Higher Understanding#Individual Achievement#Inherent Wholeness#Interconnectedness#Paradox of Gain#Realization of Oneness#Simplicity of Existence#spiritual enlightenment#Steve James#Transcendental Journey#Unity Consciousness#Validation and Fulfillment#Worldly Gains
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when people think delilah just completely takes over and laudna has no control. when people think jester is just an uwu child who has been manipulated by every man she’s met. when people think vex is an empty husk of daddy issues without her brother by her side. when people think fjord is an arrogant asshole who doesn’t pay attention to the party around him. when people think scanlan saying that vox machina doesn’t care about him is an accurate assessment.
#i’m tired and i was bitching w a friend about this earlier but good grief.#cr fandom HATES when a character knowingly denies or portrays themself in a way that is false#but that fulfils the expected role the party/the fandom has dictated for them#whether the character is intentionally lying (vex and fjord esque) or has bad faithed themselves into believing what they’re saying#(laudna and scanlan) cr very frequently plays with like . the character is saying this and it’s not trueeeee#you’d think the fandom that’s oh so willing to History Is Written By The Victors their way into validating wiping out all of the gods#because (checks notes) they do not fulfil the whims of every person who asks#might have a little more grace when it comes to doubting the characters words as always truthful or always well informed#critical role
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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How do I stop comparing myself to others and how can I feel fulfilled on my own without needing anyone else's validation?
hiii<3 i feel what you're going through, trust me i do. here are some of my tips that specifically worked for me + at the end i'll include some more recommended things to read/ watch.
how to stop comparing & feel fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation
how to stop comparing yourself:
start focussing and thinking about yourself more. lol ok i realise that may sound like "become self absorbed" but i suppose, to some extent, that is what im saying. you're becoming too interested in others' life around you if you find yourself comparing. its time to focus on you and up levelling yourself to the best version possible.
comparison = wanting their life style, yes? so when you find yourself comparing to others in your life, realise that its because you envy something that they have. maybe its money, popularity, prettiness, intelligence, etc. so its like a signal in your brain which is telling you: "i want this. but i dont have it." so now what can you do, work hard to get it.
focus on what you have. i read a quote once (i think its by Oprah Winfrey) and it goes: "if you focus on what you don't have, you'll always have less. but if you focus on what you do have, you'll always have more." instead of looking at other's lives and thinking "i dont have this, i dont have that", look at your own life and think "i have this, i have that."
feeling fulfilled without needing anyone else's validation:
self love. self love. SELF LOVE. self love will ALWAYS be the answer to this. learn to LOVE yourself. and if you dont, ask why!! i have a whole guide on how to develop self love HERE. Stop looking for love in others, GIVE YOURSELF THE LOVE FIRST!!
It’s you over them. Always. Always always always. Always choose you over them. If they want you to do something but you don’t, then you say “no. I will not do that” it’s scary? Oh boohoohoo, suck it up. Because if you are constantly doing stuff that others ask you to just for the sake of pleasing them, you are disrespecting yourself in the worst way. You are basically saying that what they want is more important than what i want and need. Ew. Don’t do that.
extra resources:
a guide to develop self love & confidence (by me)
vanilla's opinion🍰 edition 1: dealing with hate & not caring about what others think. (by me)
ways to stay unbothered (by @pastel-charm-14)
Self validation (by @prettieinpink )
Tam Kaur's youtube channel
Thewizardliz youtube channel
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#vanilla's pookies💌#vanilla self improvement⭐️#asks#q/a#it girl energy#it girl#self improvement#becoming that girl#self development#girlboss#girlblog#self love#girlblogging#dream girl#levelling up#self validation#feeling fulfilled#femininity#that girl#becoming her#itgirlism
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The way we discuss prophecy in fandom is genuinely fascinating. GRRM spends so much time showing how different characters have different interpretations of the same thing based on their own cultural contexts. He says that prophecy is tricky to navigate through multiple characters, showing that even the most careful practitioner can get almost everything wrong and fall victim to their own fallacies (see Mel). So tell me why the main takeaway for large parts of this fandom is “prophecy stupid, it doesn’t matter”. My brothers and sisters in R’hllor, GRRM didn’t invent multiple characters (three of whom are main POVs!!) who can see the future for this to be the conclusion. This is a FANTASY series. Please I’m begging, let us be serious 🥲
#like azor ahai has different interpretations and different candidates based on how you certain interpret events#you either do it very literally (dany) or very figuratively (jon) and the interesting thing is that both a very valid#same with tptwp being two people at the same time!!#is the stallion that mounts the world dany or is it drogon?? how does that affect how people navigate dany’s campaign?#how does that affect how DANY!! navigates how own life#how does being born solely to fulfill tptwp prophecy affect rhaegar’s entire personality? his sociopolitics??#prophecy is very real and the important part is how our characters navigate a very real phenomenon#but then there’s also the very aggravating conversation among those who do take the prophecies seriously in fandom#because so many of them have a shallow level of engagement with the genre and how it’s reflected in the text#so we get “oh grrm is subverting fantasy so the boy cannot be the subject of prophecy because that’s cliche!!111”#but I’m too tired to get into that today….#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls
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i’m gonna be negative for a second so fair warning
the STEM obsession is literally a plague on the current academic world, especially the recent “women in stem” shit. of course people who are typically discouraged from male-dominated fields should receive encouragement from schools, recruiters, etc, but i am really sick of this being turned into “STEM is the only valuable career path and you are betraying your intelligence as a woman/poc/whatever by doing literally anything else.”
there are SO many non stem jobs that are essential to the proper functioning of society and are definitely NOT worth any less than being a doctor or engineer. i’m tired of there being zero scholarships, internships, encouragement in general for literally any other career path. it’s just disrespectful and honestly dangerous. we can’t let humanities-focused subjects and careers die because STEM is the current hot topic. and i just hate most of all the appropriation of feminism to do it.
#it just feels like conflating feminism into you can either be a stupid housewife or be a smart girlboss doctor#like no there are plenty of other fulfilling careers that require very high skill and intelligence#and you know what even careers that aren’t seen as prestigious are just as valid#so that’s me stepping off the soapbox#i hope no stemmies are offended by this it’s not about you personally#it’s about the complete systemic ignorance of all other subjects#negative#academia
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as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.
literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.
#as a side note: this goes for gender too#dont fucking get a special marker on your passport or whatever#trying to get ssi has made me realize how deeply cruel the system is#never reveal any vulnerability you have unless it's absolutely necessary#do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere#hm this post turned out a lot angrier than i meant#guess i'm still mad about how awful the process was#it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.*#this woman talked to me for two hours. went down a fairly bigoted checklist.#didnt ask me my own opinion on much of anything. and then declared a bunch of her impressions as if they hold weight just bc shes allistic#like how i have 'identity issues' (am trans and dont want a romantic partner)#and thats just. my permanent record of diagnosis! this two hour conversation with a stranger! she doesnt fucking know me#we paid like $500 for that
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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#authenticity#be your authentic self#realness#step up#express yourself#express your feelings#people pleasing#people pleaser#validation#seeking validation#fulfilment#listen to your soul#seeking#seeker#quotes#words#inspirational words#growth#healing
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something that pisses me off in RA is that Flanagan will occasionally hype up Pauline as this super important and prominent figure in Will’s life, even treat her as a proxy for the mother he never knew, and yet will just refuse to show it beyond the like. two or three (personal) conversations that they have in canon. I get that he was attempting to make her an important person in Will’s life but why not do that by actually making her an important person in Will’s life
#hey Flanagan I hate to tell u but just because she’s married to Will’s father figure does not automatically make her his mom figure#what REALLY annoys me is how easy it would have been for him to connect her & will#like hey. if only there were a pretty clear gap in Will’s education that halt couldn’t fulfill - say for example mmmm diplomacy?#(cause we all know how gifted halt is at conflict resolution)#then he’d have a valid reason to seek out a master of diplomacy for lessons in negotiating compromises & treaties#but no I guess not. Will’s just naturally good at diplomacy despite never really being exposed to it#yk what extra sucks?#if Pauline HAD taught will about treaties & stuff then him receiving the last name treaty wouldve been 1000x more meaningful#it would’ve spoken to her influence on him and solidified her as a sort of parental figure in her own right#AND as an extra extra bonus: if she came to the cabin to teach will about negotiation tactics and such#then we could’ve gotten more halt/Pauline interactions. as in: we could’ve actually seen them being in love ON SCREEN instead of just being#told that they loved each other#will could’ve had a chance to see how much the two of them mean to each other. and then he would’ve had some actual basis for a speech#at their wedding or whatever#but yeah no why do that when we can just imply that will & Pauline got super close off screen? same effect right?????#ranger’s apprentice#pauline dulacy#halt o’carrick#will treaty#I love these books so so much don’t get me wrong. but there are just some things……#anyway.#jackie rambles
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oh the unbeatable romantic bond between an obsessive stalker and the guy with a pathological need to feel like the center of the universe at all times
#natterings#zadr#iz posting#i joke but i am actually obsessed with this dynamic#both because it IS hilarious#and in a deeply pathetic way legitimately romantic too#having your most desperate dysfunctional emotional desires fulfilled by the one person who actually WANTS them#someone whose attention you dont have to beg for#someone to whom you are actually as central and significant as you delusionally believe you are#or someone that willingly invites your worst most neurotic tendencies#who plays the game and rewards you for your behavior with exciting spectacle and implicit respect#someone who quite LITERALLY thinks these qualities arent just inoffensive but actively make you better than your whole species#my point is they validate each others egos in the most absurd ways and its beautiful to watch
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my friend is trying to set me up with a guy and she was like i know you’re ace but like would you have sex with someone cos i know know guys who would be perfect for you but they’re all not gonna wanna go with out sex and i had to explain like im so unbothered by the concept that if i had a partner who wanted that intimacy i would as long as they know it doesn’t mean to me what it does to them ?? like i wish we could move past this whole if you’re ace then you don’t want sex ever thing cos it’s simply not true 🙃
#obvs not every ace person is the same as me i know and if you never want sec that’s so fine and so valid i hope you know that#i just come from a place where i’m like this person has different needs than i do and if i can help them fulfill that then go right ahead#just as long as everyone is on the same page about it then who really cares#bethanie.txt
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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Extracts from The Greenhouse Floor
#ginger writes#I genuinely have no idea how to approach the topic of talking about the characters from my book/interps of the greek gods#But hey Artemis how're you doing#There's a lot to unpack with Artemis and Apollo's relationship in my stuff#From Artemis loving her brother but not understanding him and his needs no matter how hard she tries#To Apollo constantly trying to assert power over her in subtle ways like trying to 'protect' her or 'guide' her in her teaching of her girl#Apollo's love addiction is a big thing that really concerns her though but it's impossible to convince Apollo that he has a problem#or that he needs to slow down because he's always so sure he'll know how things end#like that ever makes him less attached to the lovers and children he picks up#I happen to be very deeply interested#In exploring the nuances between having a super sex-positive free-wheeling bisexual with an almost crippling need for romantic stimulation#being on extremely good terms with his sex-repulsed aroace twin sister who does not understand why platonic and familial love isn't#a valid or fulfilling enough love for her brother despite seeing how painful these romantic entanglements are for him over and over again#artemis#apollo#writing#greek myth writing
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I'm very excited for more content of your lights out au, I'm so eager to see just how good you can get at writing/creating angst!
oh babey. thats where i Shine.
#i have gotten many a fic comment where people curse me out and/or say that they cried#sometimes i get someone saying i made them sob#its a compliment every time and i strive for it!#i dont fuck around with my fics i Do Not Hold Back and that is a Warning#this is the only aspect of my creations that im confident in#and hopefully soon you'll all See! you will see.#just a little taste its nothing too intense really.#id label it more hurt/comfort than straight up angst#but yeah if people arent crying im doing it wrong#i rarely do it wrong.#JESTING JESTING im not That good. now im just exaggerating for a Humorous Touch#rambles from the bog#i might. miiiiiight. might might might maybe mayhaps might#write a certain scene from lights out that everyone already knows will happen#so... might as well dust off my hurt / no comfort skills#could be fun. i want to hurt people again#in a good safe 'you Chose to read this' way#theres a certain feeling that comes with being someone who enjoys writing angst#the happiness i get from people telling me my writing hurt them. Yes <3#so so validating. so fulfilling.#just read through some old fic comments on my better works and mmmmm talk about an ego boost....
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shaking everyone’s hand who’s gone a little bit feral about the very obvious on-screen ptsd subtleties in that shadow generations short
#i understand you even if i’m currently looking in the other direction#i have a great many thoughts about it including but not limited to how it was so much of a given that i’m completely unsurprised#but at the same time having something like that canonically portrayed for your favorite guy is like world-shattering#so all you’re able to do is kind of repeatedly point at it in distress and awe at the fact they Really Went There#if shadow was my current hyperfixation i would be right there with you#but it’s currently on someone else who recently also got similar treatment in his respective media#so i Deeply Understand even if not currently about the same guy#signed; someone who hasn’t been capable of being normal about it since may#everyone deserves to have this sort of moment with their favorite guy being treated like a squeaky toy by his own media#it's one of the most validating/fulfilling things in the world for writers like us#bonne chance everyone#welcome to a very specific kind of hell#sea talks
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