#VERY DIFFICULT BECAUSE INTERNALLY

[airs-headspace]

I find it so funny how I've gone from "oh I like the idea of Dabi, and Hawks eventually being friends" to "Hawks despises Dabi, thinks he's the worst, thinks he's not worth saving in any capacity, and Dabi is so indifferent to Hawks that he zones out half the time whenever Hawks is talking".

Anyway this development in my interpretation of their dynamic really difficult when I'm trying to write STIL.

[aurumacadicus]

110 for the ask meme!

To be clear, Steve is still pre-serum size, all the serum did was make him healthy/super-strong. The Propaganda Cap was a hired actor so it wasn't exposed that he's tiny until after the war.

--

Peggy had said she'd find a place for him at SHIELD, but Steve had to wonder what, exactly, that place would be. He felt out of place as he followed her down the halls, like he was taking up space he hadn't earned. He was still smarting from the ring on Peggy's finger, and he couldn't help but feel she was putting him elsewhere because she knew it. 'Once your therapist has given the all clear, we'll reevaluate your position,' she'd said, kindly and compassionately, and clasped her hands on the desk in a way it hid her wedding ring from his eyes.

"So, this... protection detail," Steve tried, slanting her a questioning glance as he finally stepped up beside her.

"Protection detail is the term we're using," Peggy answered, and then, before he could get rankled at the idea that he was being shoehorned into a dummy job, she continued, "Of course, attempts have been made on Anthony's life, but at this point, he's... more of a danger to himself."

Steve scowled, and he leaned forward to make sure she saw it. "So I'm a glorified babysitter."

Peggy coughed, clearly in a way to cover a laugh. "He'll be good for you. He won't pull any of his punches for you like anyone else might because you're Captain America. In fact, he'll probably go out of his way to try and push your buttons."

"You're already harassing me with one of those," Steve grumbled. Clint was friendly enough, but he was also prone to falling out of the vent into Steve's room.

"Anthony is one of a kind," Peggy assured him as they finally approached a door labeled WORKSHOP IV. She swiped her badge, and the doors slid open.

Steve followed her through, already scanning the room. It was wide, filled with tables laden with half-finished equipment, a few weapons. There was a man sitting in a spinning chair and slowly going in circles, who quickly stood up as soon as he realized they had entered. He suspected the man was Anthony. He certainly looked like a scientist, with his crisp white lab coat and askew glasses.

Peggy sighed, loudly. "Where is he, Dr. Banner?"

"I'm certain I have no idea," the man, Dr. Banner apparently, answered promptly. "I've been waiting for him myself. In fact, maybe he actually went to meet me in my lab. We should go check." He began toward the door quickly.

"Where is he, Dr. Banner," Peggy repeated, voice flat, expression sharp, and Steve couldn't help a sympathetic wince as Dr. Banner drew up short and sort of... sagged in defeat.

Dr. Banner turned, somehow trudging those two small steps, and let out a sigh of his own. "I did tell him to wait until I could get a crash mat."

Steve and Peggy immediately looked up. There was a man on the ceiling. It looked like he had plungers on his hands and knees. There was a stack of three forty-five pound weights hanging from a harness he was wearing.

"This isn't what it looks like," the man said after a brief pause. "You can't tell my dad. If you do, I'll tell him state secrets."

"Anthony, you get down from there this instant," Peggy barked, and Steve bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Anthony scowled down at her. "No! I need to make sure these grippers can hold up to four hundred pounds. So far they only handle three-fifty."

"You're over two hundred pounds?" Steve asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. Anthony looked one-eighty at most.

Anthony swiveled his head, not unlike a bird, to turn his scowl on Steve. "I'm svelte. Who the fuck are you?"

Steve sighed, turning his gaze back to Peggy. "It really feels like I'm being punished," he said flatly, but he knew he couldn't quite keep the smile from playing at his lips.

Peggy narrowed her eyes at Anthony. "Well, it's not a great first impression to show that you're not babysitting," she reluctantly agreed. "Anthony, come down, or I'll have Steve get you down."

Anthony looked, somehow, even angrier. "I don't need a babysitter and I was only slightly kidnapped last time so I don't need a bodyguard either."

"How are you only slightly kidnapped," Steve asked, but was drowned out by both Peggy and Dr. Banner shouting at him that he'd also somehow glued himself to the wall so maybe yes he did need a babysitter. He also wanted to know how Anthony glued himself to a wall, but he got the feeling that was something he'd have to get from Clint the next time he fell through his vent instead of from anyone in the room with him currently.

"Steve," Peggy sighed, waving her hand up at him. She glanced at her watch, looking irritated. "I have a meeting with the DOD."

"I'll get him down," Steve assured her.

"Hah!" Anthony crowed. "You're like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?"

"I'm leaving," Peggy said, and then she grabbed Dr. Banner by the arm to lead him out. He didn't look like he needed much encouragement.

Steve turned to the room again, considering, then finally walked over to one of the tables, where it looked like Anthony had been working on a replica of his shield.

"Hey, that's still in trials," Anthony barked.

Steve flipped the shield between his fingers, getting used to the weight, then turned, using the momentum from the spin to fling it full force at Anthony. It bounced off of the row of weights, and they swung wildly to one side, then the other, rocking Anthony and his sticky plungers side to side as he squawked in offense and alarm. Steve walked over to stand below him just as the hand plungers popped free.

"ACK," Anthony squawked as he somersaulted down, knee plungers popping free under the combined weight of Anthony, the weights, and gravity.

Steve caught the strap the weights were attached to as they dropped past him, then lifted his other arm, so Anthony dropped into them neatly. When Anthony only blinked up at him, wide-eyed and hands still held up awkwardly, Steve couldn't help a smirk. "Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm helpless."

Anthony blinked at him one more time, then scowled again. "Just because you're hot doesn't mean I'm not going to be annoying as hell."

"...What," Steve began, but then Anthony was rolling out of his arms and hefting the stack of weights up so he could stalk off like an offended cat. "What?!" he tried again, but Anthony was muttering about ultimate tensile strength and other ductile materials.

[bayetea]

I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story

[tricoufamily]

a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar

[serpentface]

FAMILY TITLES AMONG THE HILL TRIBES

(ft. various linguistic notes and tangents)

In-universe Brakul’s self-given title of ‘Red-Dog’ is Brakul 'ne-Dainh' in his native language (Bict-Urbinnas dialect of the Highland language group) and Brakul 'Chin-Reyla' in Wardi. Ne-Dainh/Chin-Reyla is not something he treats as or considers an actual surname or identity, just a self-styled nickname. He already has a title.

Family names/surnames are not a native practice among the Hill Tribes (though some clans or individual families have adopted this practice), and all traditionally use titles that designate immediate ancestry, clan and tribe. These full titles are officially given when one comes of age and are spoken aloud in ceremony (with the entire direct male and female lines listed by name, with most traditions expecting 12 generations of each being named).

The function is to cement one’s sense of place in the world, and their place in a direct ancestral line, which puts the person under the full watch and guidance of their ancestors. It's also a critical method of recording lineage- the long held practice of each person memorizing at least 24 total direct ancestors allows for very long, largely accurate records of family history to be kept, with some people able to trace their ancestry all the way back to initial settlement of the Highlands (or even beyond).

Brakul’s full title is:

“Brakul virsum Kuligan et Borunil an Briyonis ne-Taig an Bict-Urbinnas”

Which dead literally translates to “Brakul son of Kuligan and Borunil of the Foothills (of) Red-Cattle, of the North (Urbin/Erubin) River Valley” but has a much richer meaning in the original language.

"BRAKUL VIRSUM KULIGAN ET BORUNIL"

The actual meaning here is closer to ‘Brakul, son of Kuligan and his father’s fathers, and Borunil and her mother’s mothers’.

“Virsum” means ‘child (son/daughter) of’ (the gender is contextual), but implies the person’s status as a descendant of a full male and female line of ancestors. A different word is used if you’re just saying ‘I’m so and so’s son”. The title describes him as a son of his father Kuligan and of Kuligan’s male line, and of his mother Borunil and Borunil's female line.

All ancestors (within this particular system of kinship, divided into one direct male line from the father and one direct female line from the mother, and not including husbands from the female line or wives from the male line) are invoked and credited with the word ‘virsum’. Speaking it as part of the personal title is part of the routine and necessary honoring of one’s ancestors, who watch over their descendants from the afterlife and can temporarily return to the land to guide and protect (and sometimes punish, or teach sharp lessons to) the living.

"AN BRIYONIS NE-TAIG"

The actual meaning here would be understood as ‘clan/people of the foothills where cattle are lit red by the setting sun'.

‘Briyonis’ is the word for ‘foothill’, citing his clan’s specific location being the foothills that form the slopes of the north Urbin river valley. He is of a lesser clan within the powerful North Urbin River tribe. His clan benefits from close affiliation to their more powerful ruling clans located directly in the river valley, which grants them access to a greater variety of cultivated foods, but their actual position in the foothills still renders them predominantly reliant on cattle for subsistence. Clan names referencing cattle or horses are very common, given their frequent centrality to life.

The ‘ne-Taig’ literally means ‘red cattle’, but the ‘ne’ color word for red specifically invokes shades of red seen in and cast by a rising/setting sun. This red cast is culturally regarded as a unique beauty and evocative (and part of the name) of the solar god Hraighne. The foothills his clan is physically located on are a vantage point from which the western horizon is not fully obscured by mountains, and they experience very striking sunsets and are directly touched by the light. This is fairly unique to this location, and is invoked in the clan name and identity. ‘Ne-Taig’ here suggests a visual of grazing cattle illuminated red by the sun as it crosses the horizon.

‘Ne-Dainh’ carries the same implication, a dog illuminated red by setting sunlight. The Wardi language does not have a comparable word for a sunlit red and ‘Chin-Reyla’ really does just mean ‘(orangeish) red dog’ (‘reyla’ is specific to orangey-red colors, which is the closest match he could get. There’s no way to impart the meaning of ‘sunlit-red dog’ in Wardi that is non-clunky enough to be appropriate for a name).

"AN BICT-URBINNAS"

‘an Bict-Urbinnas’ is fairly simple, Bict means ‘north’, and 'Urbin' is the name of the specific river that stems from a northern and eastern tributary. This river has a very ancient name (or a derivative of one) that predates settlement by the Hill Tribes, and its exact meaning is lost.

The root -(n)nas designates a river valley, but has strong implications of being an esteemed and bountiful place, rather than solely a literal geographical descriptor (as the river valleys are centers of power and trade in the highlands). It may be a loanword from the Wardi language family, as its usage is VERY similar in form and function to the Wardi -(n)nos, which also suggests a place of esteem and bounty (more specifically having connotations of a kingdom).

’An’ literally means ‘of’, but in the specific sense of describing the place and identity of a collection of people. ‘an Bict Urbinnas’ would be understood in speech as ‘of the north Urbin River Valley (people)’. The clans historically settled in and around the valley of the North Urbin River form the totality of the Bict-Urbinnas tribe.

The ‘Urbin’ word predates the contemporary Wardi name ‘Erubin’ for the river, the latter of which invokes the semi-mythological founding figure Erub, who himself was of a Wardi tribe located downriver to the south of the Highlands. The real historically extant ‘Erub’ was most likely named Urub after the river, with his cited name shifting over the centuries in folklore, and the Wardi name for the river shifting with it.

‘Erubin’ as a corruption of ‘Urbin’ functions very well in Wardi language due to ‘-bi/bin’ denoting something as a ‘gift’, usually in a more metaphorical sense. ‘Erubin’ is understood as meaning ‘(The river that is) Erub’s gift’, and the Erubin/Urbin river is a key tributary to the much larger Black river, one of the key rivers that feeds the region's wetter and more fertile west. This 'gift' meaning also occurs in the name of the southeastern Imperial Wardi city-state Erubinnos, which is understood as meaning ’((The kingdom that is) Erub’s gift’. He is considered to have conquered and taken the land (from the core city's actual founders, the Wogan people) and established a kingdom there in the early days of warring Wardi tribal monarchies.

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

I know it’s international asexuality day and we’re supposed to be proud of being ace and all. But idk. That’s hard when I really really hate that I’m ace. Being a cisgender heteroromantic sex-repulsed ace is not exactly a fun or positive experience for me. It is just me feeling lonely and defective and wrong all the fucking time. Like that’s genuinely great for all the aces and aro people out there who love it and can take pride in it. You’re valid and you’re not broken and I’m happy for you that you can embrace and celebrate this part of your identity, I genuinely am. But for me personally, I would give just about anything to not be ace, I hate it so much. Being ace has never not once done a single good for me.

[corset]

Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible

[mariocki]

Edward Woodward stars as The Man (named Frank in dialogue), a neurotic adulterer in midlife crisis, in Play for Today: Evelyn (BBC, 1971), Rhys Adrian's adaptation of his previous radio play

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

alright i have a mild dilemna that i need advice on

on my course we have to post these weekly self-reflection things responding to the themes of the week's class and some questions about it. i posted last week's and yesterday the course convenor replied to it in a way that implies i was wrong (in my SELF reflection) and just generally misunderstands my point/takes it in bad faith. i've shown these posts to others on the course and they agree that my original post adressed the things her reply asks about and that she has misinterpreted me, in quite a "cheeky" way

my issue now is: do i reply and try to explain myself better? or is it better to just let it go?

i don't want to dig myself in deeper if she's really opposed to my viewpoint, but at the same time i do feel like i answered the questions thoroughly in the first place and the things she's accusing me of aren't fair

[aerodaltonimperial]

having a significantly dire self-confidence go lately, so i've been using all my spare moments with attempting to finish my daughter's cross-stitch project i started 2 years ago. i really hate feeling this way.

[mymarifae]

i don’t think i’m ever recovering from this one. like guys i don’t think you’re ever going to hear from me again this is it i have to go get hit by a car. again. i feel like this

[corntort]

someone needs 2 study the effect of being trans (specifically masculine presenting trans people) and the need to reject any and all femininity

[tacit-semantics]

Skipped a square on my net didn’t notice until I finished the row we’re in the trenches out here folks

[noperopesaredope]

Sorry if I infantilize any autistic coded characters. I just so happen to infantilize all my favs, and many my favs just happen to be autistic :)

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I also just so happen to have internalized ableism

[lavendette]

How does one get over incredibley upsetting things someone has done to them, without being able to acknowledge it with them, while also living with them and having to be nice. Asking for a friend.

[rotturn]

every day on this trip is worse