#University will open after 51 days

[silens-oro]

You Know Where You Are: Part II

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x f!Musician!Reader Angst/Established Relationship Part I | Part III

The Pitt Playlist located here The Pitt Masterlist

Synopsis: Dr. Robby's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning bleeds into an Even Worse Afternoon. Word Count: 3,579 Content Warning: Reader is in her 30's; mass shooting; death; blood; gunshot injuries; angst - if I've missed any, please let me know. A/N: Just know my rubbing my lil fly hands together nefariously. Thank you for all of the love on the first part!

Robby was relatively good at schooling his emotions at work, locking them away so as to not let them cloud his judgement when dealing with patients. They deserved his full attention, no matter who they were. The med students and residents deserved to learn from him in an appropriate setting. That’s not to say that Dana didn’t clock the black cloud that clung to him the second he walked into the ED, because that’s exactly what she did. That and she knew Robby like the back of her hand.

“Good morning. Surprised to see you today,” Dana greeted, a knowing smile gracing her features. Robby just grunted his greeting, confirming her suspicions. “Hate to make your questionable morning worse, but Gloria is looking for you.” 

He couldn’t wait for this day to end.

The cold water from the bathroom sink hit Robby’s face with a jolt. He brought another handful up to follow the first for good measure. This day just kept derailing in one way or another -more than an ED usually derails in a day. He dried his face and pulled his phone out.

He sent you a text just after Jake came to pick up the backstage passes from him and sighed when he saw the ‘Read 11:26 AM’ under his message, then looked at the clock -12:51 PM. You were busy, he told himself. He was lying to himself, but with the day that he already had, it was the only thing allowing him to tread water.  

Between the fight with you, the anniversary of losing Adamson, the patients lost, and the hysterical families he’s dealt with today -add on the possibility of a future school shooter on the loose, Robby was heavily regretting his stupid decision to ask for this shift. 

And it was only one in the afternoon. 

This was his punishment from the universe. 

“You good?” Dana had asked as Robby stopped across from her at the nurses station and set down a tablet. He had pushed his glasses up to squeeze the bridge of his nose, scrunching his eyes closed. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the migraine that was edging at the corners of his eyes. Robby let out the deepest sigh before letting his glasses fall back down. 

“Define good.” His face was still pinched as he looked down to Dana.

“That bad?”

“You don’t know half of it.” Dana walked around the station and gently grabbed Robby’s arm to lead him to the breakroom. 

“Perlah, can you handle this for a few? I’ll be right back.” Perlah nodded as Princess tried not to obviously crane her neck behind Perlah to listen in as well.

“I don’t know what he did, but I’m on her side.” Princess said to Perlah in Tagalong, referring to you. Perlah nodded with an “mhm” before going back to her computer. 

“This have anything to do with why you’re here and not at PittFest?” Dana asked with an eyebrow raised as they got to the breakroom. She closed the door as Robby leaned against the counter, arms crossed, and guarded. Dana came to stand next to him, busying herself with making two cups of coffee to give him room. He’d open up if she did this right, otherwise she’d be adding to the natural disaster of a cloud that followed him during their shift and that’s the opposite of what she wanted to do. They still had four hours of their left before they could call it quits and he needed to let some of that steam out before whatever was inside boiled over.  

The last time you spoke to Dana over coffee, you told her how excited you were to get Mike out of the house -out of the hospital. She couldn’t agree with you more that the man needed a break. Robby needed to experience things that weren’t the ED and anything within a five block radius of the hospital. Sure you got him out of the house on the occasion that he was up for going somewhere further, but he needed joy, and hanging with you and Jake outside in the sun, fresh air, music and food would do just that. That was the plan, anyway. Dana just needed to piece together where the plan that was set in stone went sideways.

Robby pins Dana with a look and she knows she’s at least hit that nail on the head.

“What happened?” She asked softly, leaving the question open so Robby could respond in a way that didn’t corner him. Placing the cup of coffee she made for him on the counter, she held hers nestled between both of her hands. 

“I happened.” He rubbed his face with both hands. “I didn’t tell her I wasn’t going until this morning.”

“Robby!” Dana whispered the exclamation, eyes wide. He held up a hand.

“I know, believe me, I know. It was stupid.”  

“Stupid is an understatement, doc. Listen, I know why you did it. I get it. Today is heavy -emotionally and mentally. You need to stay busy and any downtime leaves room for too much thinking. Working does that for you.”

“Yeah.” Robby sighed, tapping his fingers on the counter. At least his arms had left their defensive position crossed over his chest. That was a win in Dana’s book. 

“But that doesn't mean it’s right. You can’t hide yourself away here when you’re going through something, Robby, not when you have someone who is willing to shoulder that burden with you.” Dana corrected him gently, placing her hand over his bicep. The worst part about this conversation was that Robby knew Dana was right. He knew he went about this the wrong way entirely, but he can’t seem to get out of his own goddamn way sometimes. You would’ve understood, even encouraged him to do what he needed to- “Communication is important, you know this. It’s nothing I haven’t said to you before.” Dana finished softly. Goddamn communication. If only it was that easy, that simple. 

“God, you’d think I’d understand that by now.” He chuckled sardonically. 

“There’s always time to learn.” She encouraged Robby. “She loves you -I know that for a fact. Reach out, leave the ball in her court. Let her know you understand.” He was already ahead of her on that suggestion, and it felt like he was stranded at sea with a single life preserver and no rescue ship in sight. 

“No luck?” Dana asked when she saw Robby looking down at his cell in the few spare minutes he had just after a particularly unruly patient in South 15. He shook his head and pocketed it, departing to meet Langdon so Dana couldn’t dig further. She meant well, but it was starting to grate on his nerves and the last thing he wanted to do was snap at Dana. Because that would be the last thing he ever did once she got through with him. 

Robby had been off and everyone who worked with him on the daily took notice -outside of Dana who clocked him the second he came through the doors. The glances from the residents and nurses said as much. The new interns and residents didn’t know anything was off until Whitaker overheard Langdon talking to Mohan about it. Gossip spread like the wildfire in the ED. The second it was out, there was no reeling it back in. 

Robby knew he was cutting it close, that your band’s set was scheduled for a 5 PM start, but he texts you again around 4 PM to ask you to please call him when you had a few minutes -that he loved you and just needed to talk. You replied with a simple ‘busy’ and that was somehow worse than no response at all. Robby knew he was in the doghouse when they both got home -if you even decided to come back to his place that night. “You know what, Mike…probably not” Robby winced at the memory and carried on with his neverending shift. 

The exasperation that laced your voice and the frustration that shined in your eyes this morning made Robby bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself present. He would apologize, genuinely -profusely-, when you decided to speak to him again. He would listen. He would communicate. He couldn’t risk this driving a wedge between you like it had in his past relationships. He’d fix this. This was fixable, he told himself. He didn’t want to think of the alternative. That was the last thing he needed after the day he had, but he knew he was an asshole and you were generally too understanding of him and his quirks -today notwithstanding. 

At the 5:15 PM mark, he got a facetime call from Jake. Excusing himself from South 10, leaving the patient in Mohan’s hands, he quickly stepped into a more quiet hallway to answer. A smile lifted his lips for the first time all day when Jake’s beaming face came onto the screen.

“Robby!” Jake shouted over the festival noise.

“Hey, bud!” All of Robby’s emotions nearly broke through the dam he crafted at the beginning of the shift.

“Me and Leah just wanted to say thank you for the passes!” The phone panned down to a young blonde next to Jake. She beamed up at him, then down to the phone. 

“Thank you so much, Robby! This is incredible!” The phone twisted back up to Jake’s face. 

“You’re coming with us next time, Robby! This is insane! Look at this view,” Jake flipped the camera to capture what he saw from the back lens. Jake was backstage facing the crowd. You were the first thing Robby saw. He recognized the song and could hear the crowd singing along to it as you moved across the stage. 

Robby’s heart clenched. Seeing you in your element was mesmerizing no matter how many times he had seen it before. He met you well after your career was established, but he still felt pride nonetheless. You were successful, humble, and grateful above all else to do what you loved -and to make a generous living on top of it. 

You toured the world, saw everything there was to see, and sometimes Robby felt like an anchor in the worst way. It felt almost like an insecurity that he wouldn’t be the person to experience those things with you, but he had been warned before you both decided to try your unorthodox relationship out -just as you had been warned about his profession and what that entailed.

This was the first time in Robby’s life that he had ever been in a relationship with someone who had an equally, if not more demanding job when it came to sacrificing time at home. It worked for you both so far, to the surprise of everyone. 

Your band had taken this year off from touring to write and record a new album, and you had a tour across North America scheduled for the following spring once the album was released in February of next year. The thought of not seeing you for months at a time was anxiety inducing, he would admit. The last time you left was on a 3 month tour through Europe and Asia, and Robby didn’t realize he could miss someone as much as he missed you. 

On the flipside, you hadn’t ever had a partner who wasn’t in the industry, so leaving him behind was brutal in its own way knowing he couldn’t just hop on a plane to meet you for a few stops. You got homesick when you never got homesick before meeting Robby. He had become your home in the last three years and it was a welcomed adjustment. 

This year was a nice cushion of time to relax and play solitary shows at local festivals or secret shows in smaller venues around Pittsburgh and occasionally Philly. Sometimes Robby made it to them, sometimes he didn’t. Some of Robby’s coworkers that you had met would show after you’d extended an invitation to any of your home shows. Dana and her husband, surprisingly, were the first to take up the offer. No one in the ED would believe you when you said she was wild on a night out, her husband encouraging her to let loose. After that, you and Dana had been two peas in a pod. Langdon still could not believe that Robby was dating an actual rockstar and was a little starstruck every time you showed up. 

That being said, you had been home more often than Robby was as of recent (whether you both landed at your place or his) and you never complained about anything really. You were just happy with the time you got with Robby and you spent every second you were afforded with him together. You rolled with whatever each day brought you and it was a breath of fresh air for Robby. He didn’t have to walk on eggshells when things didn’t go as planned and maybe he had gotten too comfortable with that. 

Robby was going to be sick -physically, viscerally, all-consumingly ill. There’s an active shooter at PittFest -Robby could have collapsed in that ambulance bay the second those words left Dana’s mouth as his work phone beeped in unison with hers. He wasn’t afforded even a second to panic before he had to shift to Dr. Robby and get all hands on deck to prep the ED for what was sure to be a mass casualty event. 

Robby called Jake, then texted Jake, then called him again, then moved on to calling and texting you, begging both of you to contact him in any way you could to make sure you Jake was okay -that you were okay.

5:46 PM, you were supposed to be on stage until 6 -Robby made a mental note. He prayed to whoever was listening -if anyone was listening- that the three of you got to safety. He nearly loses it when he sees Jack walk through the doors with his backpack in tow, ready to take on whatever this event brought through their doors. 

Dana was on a rotating call between your phone and Jake’s to try to get through to either of you as she prepped the nurses, and every time Robby asked her if she had gotten through, it broke a piece of her soul when she had to shake her head. 

You were fine. Jake was fine. Those were the words repeating in his brain over and over as triaged patients started to flood the ED. These people needed him and they needed him present, so he shut himself down emotionally and did what he knew how to do -he gave the best possible care under the current circumstances.

It was a lull in between songs while you were talking to the crowd when you saw an unusual scatter of patrons in the back cluster of people on the east side of the festival. You pulled out your ear monitors and heard screaming -blood curdling screaming, not the type of screaming from a normal crowd. In a split second, Nick -your guitarist and lifelong friend- collapsed to the floor of the stage, the guitar emitting a horrific feedback over the amps. Gasps and screams erupted from the crowd and mass panic set in. People started trampling each other as shots started ringing out. 

Your first instinct was to drop the mic and run over to Nick and that’s exactly what you did. The people stuck at the barricade were horrified and scared beyond belief because they were pinned in the crowd with nowhere to go as people dropped like flies. Blood pooled around Nick where he lay crumpled when you reached him.

Then you felt it. The sheer power was enough to knock you off your feet and you heard your name as you tried to crawl to safety. Fire radiated through your torso as you tried to lift yourself enough to move, but when you tried to pull yourself forward, your hand slipped in the blood on the stage that was leaking from somewhere on your body. Every instinct in your brain shut off with the exception of fleeing. Your brain screamed at you, begged you to go, go, go somewhere, anywhere, but your brain and your body could not connect so you simply lay there on your stomach, your eyes catching the crowd dispersing in mass pandemonium, blood pooling around you just as it had with Nick with your last coherent thought being that of Jake. Was he safe? Losing Jake would kill Robby and you couldn’t protect him. 

Your hands were noticeably cold, your body shivering regardless of the end of summer heat. The warmth of your blood pooled against the side of your face that was resting against the stage felt warm, warmer than you did and it was oddly comforting. Buzzing from your back pocket kept you present, awake, and aware, but you couldn’t move -you could barely breathe. 

“Leah, stay!” Jake’s panicked voice cracked as he flipped you onto your back and grabbed one of your feet to try to pull you to the side of the stage. 

“I have her other leg, just pull-” Another shot and you heard someone drop. 

“Leah!” Matt, your bassist, and a couple of the roadies put themselves in danger to help Jake drag you and Leah off the stage while Casey, your drummer, pulled Nick off to the side.

“Pressure! Put pressure on them!” You screamed incoherently when someone pushed something onto your stomach -at least you thought it was your stomach- and pain radiated through every limb and up your neck shooting blinding white light through your brain. It was enough to leave you breathless, wheezing, and falling in and out of consciousness. 

“Help pick her up on my three -one, two, three,” Someone lifted you into their arms and you were moving. You didn’t recognize them, possibly one of the roadies who didn’t work with your band or possibly just a good samaritan, but his face blurred every time you tried to look at him. “Hey, hey, don’t close your eyes.” He said as he kept looking down between you and where he was going. “We’re getting you out of here, alright? Stay with me.” He tried to coax you, shaking you in his arms to keep you awake. You didn’t even realize your eyes had closed. Your head tilted back, resting against his arm as he ran with you.

The sky was clear, you noticed, clearer than it had been in the past couple of weeks. The periwinkles of dusk were settling into the violets of night and you were getting colder by the minute. 

“Jake,” You wheezed out, the teen coming to the forefront of your mind. You tried to move in the man’s arms, but he held tight. “Leah,” Your voice slurred.

“The kid is alright.” He reassured you, only half answering -not that you were coherent enough to notice. “Just hold on, alright?” The next thing you knew, you were pulled into the bed of a pickup truck. “We’re gonna sit you up, alright?” You grunted as your back hit the cab of the truck. “We need you up so you can keep track of Jake, right Jake? He needs you to talk to him, alright? Talk to him about anything, you hear me? Don’t stop talking. Keep pressure here,” Not questioning him, you nodded and held someone’s balled up shirt to your torso with the stranger’s help. You grasped his bloody hands with one of yours to stop him before he could take off.

“Thank…you.” He looked at you, an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint flooded into his eyes, and he nodded as he squeezed your hand. 

“Mac, ma’am. Wished we met under better circumstances.” You chuckled groggily. You gave him your name. “You got ‘em?” Mac asked Jake. Jake nodded and Mac smacked the side of the truck to let the driver know to get the hell out of there and to the nearest hospital. 

Once the truck got moving, things got incredibly fuzzy while it tore out of the lot of the backstage area. Jake called your name and your eyes refocused on him and Leah. He was covered in blood and holding another shirt over the wound on her chest. 

“I’m fine, Jake,” You wheezed out. “Focus on Leah. Is she talking? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, she’s talking,” His eyes danced between you and Leah. “I’m fine.” 

“Good,” You nodded sloppily, “Good. Focus on her. I’m alright,” You tried to reassure the kid, but you could see that he did not believe you. You blinked and felt someone hitting your foot.

“Keep your eyes open,” Jake demanded. Your eyes felt like they were filled with sand, weights pulling each one down further and further. Your skin was losing its color, the tone turning gray as each minute ticked by.  

“Just blinking, kid.” Your eyes were closed much longer than a blink and Leah’s speech was starting to slur as she looked up at him. He finally let his tears fall, his lips quivering in pure helplessness as it engulfed him when your head started to nod to the left. Jake’s voice sounded like it was under a tidal wave when he said your name again before you were out.

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[kabr0ztrousers]

Just read episode 51 and that was hot as hell. Especially the way she fucked herself on his cock and ground that flare into her cervix to stop him going soft and his cum leaking out of her.

Thank you so much!

Would love to see something where she ends up being strapped to him again as a breeding bitch for him or other centaurs, and eventually with her pregnant belly hanging down too.

Kabr0z Writes Episode 81: Alternative ending

This story won't make sense if you haven't read episode 51!

And here's the rest of the anthology!

CWs: Noncon; kidnap; forced impregnation; freeuse; belly riding; Lots of the same issues as the first iteration. Please look that one over, if it's too heavy this one will be too

A/N: Think of this as a "What If..?" for episode 51. I'm not sure which will wind up being canon if I agglomerate a universe around this, but it doesn't really matter either way

#######################################

You solicited the help of a centaur to escape a city. It was a desperate gambit, strapped to the underside of a half-horse half-man to slip by the gatehouse through the one un-warded route out.

He never met back up with his partner, diverting South into the woodlands. He ran for miles with you suspended under him, his gargantuan cock softening and slipping out of you within minutes of leaving the city walls. A trail of cum leaked from you as you struggled under his belly. The knots were tight, the ropes stout. Every move you made only served to bind you tighter.

Eventually he stopped running, alighting on a stand of dark oak trees, sheets strung from tree to tree making up awnings. His home. He never bothered to remove you.

Day after day, he'd take you. Every time would start the same, that cock would start dangling below you. You were helpless to do anything but watch as it slid out to its full length, dangling below the centaur's knees. He'd let it hang there a moment, steaming in the cold winter air.

Slowly, it would harden. Thickening from the base downwards. Swinging up towards you over and over, slapping against your belly. Every swing hit your cunt, slinging a thread of sticky precum at you as it slapped your flesh. Over and over it would swing, the flared tip engorging with each stroke. Sometimes he's get too stimulated from just slapping his cock against you and a gout of cum would erupt from him, covering you and dripping onto the dirt floor.

Today was not one of those days. Today he wouldn't be satisfied with anything but your cunt. You felt him grab the ropes, leaning back to haul you towards his front legs so when the pendulous cock swung up the tip threatened your hole, slicking it with precum. He stepped up to a fallen log, bracing you against it as he swung into you again, pushing the flare into you. You were well-used to the thickness of it by now. That didn't stop it making you gasp as you felt it wedge you open. It wasn't as hard as the actual shaft of his cock, but it was as thick as both of your fists held together. Firm, with just enough give to avoid doing serious harm to you, the flare held him into you. He thrust. The weight of his body pressing you down into the rough bark of the log. The cock forced itself deeper into you. You stifled a sob as it bottomed out on your cervix, then pushed harder, sliding past and into the fornix. Here he rested a moment. The flare pressing into the very back wall of your pussy.

You tried to catch your breath, feeling the cock stretching you, pressing into your guts. The centaur shuddered slightly, the wobbling motion shaking him inside you. You whined as the cock shook you to the core. He grunted, seemingly taking your noise as a challenge as he pressed you back against the log, bracing your chest into it as he thrust in harder, forcing you back down towards his hips. You felt him stretching you, pushing the limits of your depth.

You felt his sheath. The very base of his cock. He started galloping. The movement shook you, rubbing his member against your insides. Faster and faster he ran, leaping boughs and streams until he stopped.

With a howl, he came. You felt it, the familiar pressure of the cum flooding you. You could feel yourself bloating. The force of the cum fought the still almost-hard cock occupying your quim. He flopped out of you, the cock still standing strong as it pointed instead at your dangling face. A rope hit you, painting you in the strong smelling seminal fluids of your kidnapper. He wasn't done yet. More came, painting your belly, then still more, squirting onto the ground before the dripping mass of cockmeat started to recede back into him.

Weeks passed, every day bringing more attempts to flood you with his seed, some more successful than others. One day you could deny it no more, your belly was growing. He didn't feed you enough to grow fat, even with your now sedantary lifestyle. There was only one explanation.

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One of these days, I'll get the drop on these things. Until then, I'm gonna be pulling more late nights.

Semi-unrelated, if you're in the UK and have £10 to spare, you can get a subscription to the National Theatre's streaming service. It's pretty good

[zorange13]

—he’s such a loser, wtf? pjs

pairing. geek! park jay x afab poc popular! reader

content. acquaintances to lovers, jay is lowkey a loser but not, ft. popular athletes! hyung line, jay’s an asshole like fr, allusions to The Duff by Kody Keplinger (little me loved that book, i’ve read it twice. i still love it idc. don’t talk to me abt the movie tho…sigh), photographer geek! jay, journalism major! psych minor! reader, arson jokes, playfully questioning friend’s sexuality, making out

word count: 30,974 (25,591 in this part) ao3 ver.

synopsis: jay’s been hiding behind his cool, distant demeanor, never letting anyone get too close. when he crosses paths with you, a popular cheerleader, your unlikely connection sparks a series of misunderstandings, awkward encounters, and him trying—and failing—to navigate feelings he’s not used to confronting. With a secret mission to keep his distance while helping her, jay finds himself caught between his own stubbornness and the surprising depth of his feelings.

after well into writing this i realized that a lot of jay’s behaviors display signs of autism spectrum disorder. this was not intentional but if this does offend or put anyone off in any way PLEASE let me know!! (symptoms/signs such as: must follow certain routines, seeming blunt or rude without intention, taking things literally—as in—does not understand figures of speech or sarcasm, prefers to be alone, hyperfixations,) again, not intentional but i didn’t want to put this out without making it clear that i’m not ignorant to what i’m producing. i literally didn’t put this together until my close friend (who is autistic) told me that these were signs. she said this did not offend her, but obviously she doesn't speak for all! this isn't to offend anyone, if this does then please tell me. my dm's are always open for any reason!

Park Jay spent copious amounts of time reading, writing, and taking photos of his poor, unsuspecting classmates. 

In a nutshell, Jay was simple. He woke up at 9:00, brushed his teeth, washed his face—no need for a morning shower; he always did that the night before. Then came 9:19, the daily wardrobe deliberation: black t-shirt or…black t-shirt. Oversized black jeans or oversized black sweatpants. Spray his favorite cologne at 9:28. 

Eat exactly one cup of Raisin Bran and solve the day’s Wordle. Grab his keys at 9:50. Trudge out of the house and into his car by 9:51.

It was like rinse and repeat, to which none of this necessarily bothered him. Jay enjoyed routine, he loved the idea that he had full control over what had to be done. But a part of him longed for something different. For someone or something to disrespect the regimen that he’s so carefully mapped out. 

—

He stood along his university’s track, camera in hand as he inspected the soccer field, trying to get the cheerleaders and other athletes into the frame. 

His face is shoved tightly into the camera as he zooms in, eyes narrowing in concentration. The lens clicked repeatedly as he fell into the quiet rhythm of it. Letting himself fall into yet another routine of clicking, adjusting, clicking, adjusting. 

It wasn’t even about the subjects, he honestly couldn't care any less about sports or whatever they were doing, just lining up for that perfect shot was more than enough for him to feel that high, that cathartic feeling of expression. He hated the arrogance that came with athletes, but a great artist puts themselves in uncomfortable positions to really show how great they are; wouldn’t you agree?

He takes a couple more shots before his focus drifts back to his camera lens as the team disperses. All of which they lift their shirts to wipe off the sweat that’s gotten in their eyes. Despite him not caring about any of them, he watched as his three idiot friends walked over to him. Laughing, still trying to maintain some sort of positivity after Coach Jeon screamed at them for the last hour and a half.

Sunghoon was the first to approach, his once very serious glare being replaced by a smirk as he relished in the freedom from Coach’s scrutiny. His shirt clung to his chiseled chest from sweat as a small towel hung over his shoulder, but despite these things that would very badly overstimulate someone like Jay, Hoon looked cool as a cucumber. “You still hiding behind that camera?” Sunghoon teased, wiping his forehead with the aforementioned towel. “Don’t you get bored?”

Jay didn’t even look up from his camera as he adjusted the exposure, “Nah, I’m hoping one day you idiots fall and I’ll have the documentation.” He muttered with little expression. “Besides, we can’t have amateurs taking flicks for the yearbook, right?”

Jake and Heeseung walked up next, still catching their breath from the intense scrimmage. Jake flashed Jay a smile, “You really gonna stand there while we’re slaving out here?”

Jay gave a shrug, the corners of his lips quirked up into something of a smile, imperceptibly so. “I’m working hard too, if you count not getting hit in the face with balls as work.”

Heeseung leaned back next to him, the heat radiating off of his body to Jay’s to which he grimaced. “Yeah I know, I took two to the chin last week.”

Before Jay could respond as the others—including him—laughed, a voice interrupted them.

“Are you really going to let these guys gang up on you like that?”

You stood right there as your voice cut through the banter with unexpected clarity. It was bright, strong, and that’s what made the four boys look at you. Standing a few feet away from them in your perky cheer uniform, that could cling to you the only way it knew how after a heavy practice. Sweat glistened from your forehead but your curly hair—that was raised in a pineapple updo, masked it, blending in so that it didn’t look too frizzy and shrink up. But even when you expected to look a mess, you didn’t. You commanded attention, not forcefully—it just happened naturally.

Jay’s gaze flicked up, the grip on his camera loosening, now his attention no longer on the athletes. He looked at you briefly, his stomach doing something way too familiar at this point whenever you were around.  

The boys froze up for a second, but Sunghoon’s posture straightened up at the sight of this girl. “Hey Captain,” he smiled, a glint of amusement in his eyes. 

You curtly bowed your head to greet them, but before you could speak further, Jake interjected, “We just got chewed up by our coach for 90 minutes straight, can we breathe?” 

You laughed, “Yet you still found time to be annoying, very impressive, Jakey, very impressive.”

Jay’s ears perked up at the sound of your laugh, again the feeling in his heart and stomach a reminder of it. He held his camera close to his chest, almost protectively as he avoided looking at you; he had to remember who you were.

You are the captain of their university’s cheer team and in very close proximity to his friends. They ran in the same circle and somehow developed a kinship with you, alongside the other girls and guys on the cheer team during their years at the uni. It seemed to make sense for every one of them but Jay. You bantered with Sunghoon like you were siblings, always kept having to reject Jake, and even managed to coax a few words out of Heeseung every now and again who always seemed to be having some sort of girl problems. It was easy for you to be around them—just as much as it was for Jay; the pseudo-F4 had been friends since they were little kids.

However, the times you would try to interact with Jay, he would keep his responses very minimal. A smile, a curt nod, a wave whenever you see each other. Jay, from your interpretation, seemed very aloof and you didn’t take it personally. It made sense that his only three friends would be people that he was fully comfortable around. 

Seeing as his friends doubled as athletes and socialites, Jay always felt like—for lack of a better word—a loser.

There was this book that he read (almost regretfully) in his freshman year of high school—The Duff. He knew that to be the ‘Designated Ugly Fat Friend’ he had to fully identify with it, though, he didn’t quite feel much of a relation to Bianca. She was self-deprecating, bitter, anxious, and impulsive. 

Jay had some sort of confidence, he was slightly bitter, only mildly anxious, but was very calculated and attentive. He knew he wasn’t fat, damn sure knew he wasn’t ugly, but sure, he was the designated friend. 

The friend that was the designated driver when Jake would be blacked out drunk at parties, all because Jay refused to compromise his liver and kidneys. The friend for whenever Heeseung had girl problems, he was the one to go to. The friend that Sunghoon always called to play Valorant because he knew that Jay was never that busy.

Jay was reliable, trustworthy, and in some ways he felt like he owed his friends. They were the ones that were there for him in the same way. The ones that saved him from that big, bad bully in kindergarten and they’ve been thick as thieves ever since. Not to be confused, he knew that his friends loved him equally. But Jay never had to confide in them because he never needed anything. Nothing exciting ever happened in his life for him to report back to his friends. 

He enjoyed his space, being an only child, he spent most of his childhood playing alone. So when he found his friends—or better yet—when they found him, he never changed who he was or what his character consisted of. Jay’s social battery ran out very quickly; so more often than not he would find himself retreating to his apartment and putting his phone on ‘do not disturb.’

Jay liked the quiet moments in his life. The stillness of his apartment, the steady click of his camera, the hyperfixation on really niche topics, the way he could just fade into the background while observing the world through his lens—literally and figuratively. It gave him control—a way to participate in life without being directly in the spotlight.

But you had this uncanny ability to mess with that quiet.

It wasn’t intentional, of course. You didn’t burst into his life demanding attention or energy. You just...existed in a way that made it impossible for Jay to ignore you. Your laugh could cut through the fog of his thoughts, your voice had this cadence that somehow settled and unnerved him at the same time.

He hated that you made him feel exposed, like you could see through the layers of detachment he’d spent years perfecting. The way you tried to pull him into conversations when you clearly had no obligation to, or the times you’d catch him off guard with a teasing comment—those moments lingered, as much as he tried to brush them off.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t like you. That wasn’t the problem at all. If anything, it was the opposite. You were one of those rare people who managed to make everyone around you feel seen without even trying. It was easy to see why Sunghoon treated you like a sibling or why Jake always tried (and failed) to flirt with you.

But Jay? He didn’t know how to categorize what he felt. It wasn’t as simple as admiration or attraction. It was more complicated, more unsettling. You were an unpredictable variable in his otherwise orderly life, and Jay had no idea what to do with that.

So, he kept his distance, retreating to the safety of his camera and the comfort of his predictable friendships. It was easier that way.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

“Jay,” You called out, breaking him from his introspection, your tone teasing but not unkind. “You’re really gonna let these guys clown on you? Thought you had more fight in you.”

Jay looked up, the weight of your attention catching him off guard. He felt his grip on the camera tighten instinctively, as if it could shield him from whatever chaos you were about to unleash.

“Not much to fight about,” he replied, his voice steady but soft. “They’re just proving my point.”

“Which is?” You asked, tilting your head slightly, curiosity sincere.

“That I’m the only one here doing something useful.” His lips quirked up in a faint smirk, and Jake groaned dramatically in response.

“Useful?” Jake cut in, shaking his head. “Bro, taking pictures of me isn’t exactly saving lives.”

“Not everything’s about you, Jake,” Sunghoon quipped, earning a laugh from the rest.

“Right, right,” Jake said, rolling his eyes. “Guess Jay’s just here documenting Sunghoon’s tragic fall from grace.”

“Tragic?” Sunghoon shot back, mock-offended. “Please, I’m the star of his portfolio.”

“More like the blooper reel,” Jay muttered, earning a burst of laughter from those around him.

“Wait, why are you funny?” You admitted, your eyes crinkling at the corners as you covered your mouth to conceal your laughter. “Not you having jokes.”

He felt his face heat up at your attention but shrugged it off, glancing back down at his camera as if the settings had suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Only when the material’s this easy,” he said, keeping his tone light.

“You’re full of surprises,” you said, and there was something in your voice—something playful but warm—that made Jay glance up again. He caught your eyes as he adjusted the silver-lined frames that adorned his face, the motion both habitual and telling. Your gaze lingered a moment longer than he expected, your expression unreadable but calm. Jay’s fingers froze briefly against the bridge of his glasses before he dropped his hand, clearing his throat softly.

“You wear those because you actually need them,” you asked, your tone light but genuinely curious, “or is it, like, a whole vibe thing?”

Jay blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Uh…both, I guess?” he replied, a touch of hesitation in his voice. He didn’t know why he said that, his vision was absolutely terrible. 

“Cool,” you said simply, your lips curling into a small smile. “They suit you.”

He opened his mouth to respond but quickly decided against it, unsure of what to say to that. His heart did an embarrassing little leap at the compliment, though he managed to keep his expression neutral.

“Didn’t think you’d notice,” he finally said, his voice quieter now, almost like he was speaking more to himself than to you.

You raised a brow, leaning slightly forward as if to catch his words. “What, you think I’m not observant?”

“No, just…” He hesitated, his gaze dropping to his camera again. “Didn’t think it’d matter.”

You studied him for a beat, your smile softening. “Well, it does.”

And just like that, you straightened back up, your attention shifting seamlessly to the others, leaving Jay with the sudden and disarming realization that you were way more perceptive than he gave you credit for.

—

Jay walked into one of the university cafes at his usual time of 12PM right after his 10:30 experimental filmmaking class. As soon as he opened the door, the scent of coffee permeated his senses. Immediately waking him up from the haze that loomed over him from the 90 minutes of hearing information he already knew. Funnily enough, he hated coffee and refused to drink it because he didn’t want to trigger possible acid reflux or gastro-esophageal diseases.

He plopped down at one of the booths as he adjusted himself into the cushion of the seat. He then slid on his earbuds, the clinking of spoons and white noise fading to black. He swiftly pulled out his laptop to edit the photos that he snapped two days ago on the track. Jay’s fingers hovered over the trackpad as he scrolled through the photos. The soccer and cheerleading practices had been a goldmine for candids—athletes mid-sprint, beads of sweat dripping down their bodies and catching the sunlight, and the faint blur of the spectators in the background.

He loved capturing the things that felt alive even in the stillness. 

As he adjusted the vibrancy on a particularly striking shot, Jay felt a faint presence nearby. Looking up, only to see the barista delivering a caramel latte to a nearby table. Shaking away his paranoia, he turned back to his work. The rhythm of editing was something easy for him to fall into, but for the first time that day, he felt the tension in his shoulders ease. 

Through his peripheral vision, he saw a familiar figure open the door and head to the queue to wait to order. You.

As soon as his eyes laid on your figure, they retreated right back to his laptop; also slouching into the booth so you wouldn’t notice him. Again, it wasn’t that he didn’t like you. Jay just hated discomfort and somehow being around a girl like you, made him squirm and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. If the things he felt were anything other than happy, sad, angry, nervous, or scared then he wasn’t a fan. Despite how much the latter part of him yearned for excitement and to really feel, Jay just wanted to skirt by in life. 

It was a weird mixture of wanting to be wanted, not having interest because he was afraid of rejection whether socially, or romantically even. He hated the way these insecure, almost unnerving things popped into his head when you were around.

He watched you walk in his general direction with a cold brew in hand and his heart skipped a little, he—again—further ducked into his seat and scooted more toward the window on his right side. But you sat at a nearby table in front of him which made him let out a quiet sigh of relief. How you didn’t notice him let him know that you didn’t have that irrational fear of seeing people you know in public (like him), or just had no sort of spatial awareness. 

But then after a while, he started to hear the faint hum of your voice through his headphones. Which overstimulated him beyond belief. Like, hearing old, unreleased Frank Ocean on top of your voice made his head hurt and he didn’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t gonna tell you to shut the fuck up, because that would be mean. 

Jay gets that he’s in a public setting but a part of him blames himself for not getting noise-cancelling headphones, his old ones from high school were not cutting it anymore. 

Just the fact that he is so hyper-aware of your presence was the problem. The fact that you sat there sipping, almost aggressively (how tired were you?), on your coffee as you scrolled through some app. Smiling haphazardly at something you might’ve found funny or stupid. Then he sees that smile settle into dullness as you swipe across it to put the phone to your ear. “Hey,” 

Your voice was soft, almost cutting through Jay’s mind like a knife. His fingers froze mid-edit on the same photo he was editing when you sat down—twenty minutes ago, so longer than usual. 

He glanced up briefly, not wanting to seem obvious, but also unable to help himself. He paused his music as he watched you lean further into the table, absentmindedly stirring your cold brew. He saw the condensation gather around the plastic cup and leave a ring around the base of it. Your expression was almost unreadable as he wondered who you were speaking to. 

Jay immediately regretted the thought. Why the fuck would he care who you were speaking to? It wasn’t his business and it wasn’t like you were aware of his inner turmoil. 

“Yeah, I know,” you said as you sighed into the phone. “Mom, I’m trying. But this class is absolutely impossible! It’s like he says one thing, but he wants another thing. I don’t even know this is stupid.”

Jay blinked, trying to process what you said as his chest tightened for reasons he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Your tone was light, but there was a frustration beneath it as his fingers hovered over the trackpad, but he wasn’t editing anymore. Instead, he was hyper-focused on the way your voice wavered slightly as you vented, the way your hand stopped stirring the now watered down cold brew and was now waving around as you aired out your troubles.

“Yes, I’m asking for help, mom, it’s literally so embarrassing, I got a 40 on my last test.” you continued, your tone softening, though the exasperation lingered. “But it’s not like anyone’s lining up to explain set theory to me, you know?”

Jay’s lips twitched into a faint, involuntary smile. Your words were drenched in sarcasm, but there was something oddly endearing about the way you expressed yourself. Still, he shook his head to force his attention back to his laptop. ‘Just play your music and stop eavesdropping,’ he told himself.

But then again, how could he not? You were just sitting a few feet away from him and again, his headphones were not helping right now. So he quickly pulled out his phone to open his reminder app to buy some noise-cancelling headphones by the end of the week.

“Okay, okay,” you said, never sounding so deflated. “I’ll figure it o—” You stopped talking, being cut off by your mom who was lecturing you it seemed. “I know mom, your money won’t go to waste. Plus if I fail, I’ll ju–” Your voice dropped to a lower, more resigned tone. “No, I didn’t just say the F word,” you smiled solemnly. 

“I have a class in 10 minutes, ma. I’ll call you later, okay? I love you.” You said, obviously lying just to stop the barrage of your mother’s words from ruining your day and stressing you out further. Then you go back to your phone as you bounce your leg up and down, trying some way to push the stress somewhere else. 

While you’re busy doing this, Jay quickly takes one last glance at you. It’s not that he wants to draw attention, but there’s something about your restlessness, the frustration in your voice, that sticks with him. He could’ve just let it be, but he’d already clicked send. 

—

Later on that day, you were seated at one of the tables in the corner in one of the school libraries. Your mind spinning with endless equations and concepts that you understood, but somehow, nothing ever stuck. Turning up the volume on your noise canceling headphones to hopefully drown out the damning thoughts, you didn’t realize how much time had passed until your phone lit up on the table, breaking your focus. 

It was a message from the cheer group chat. Wasn’t important, ignore. 

But you decided to scroll through your old notifications, just to see what you missed. However, your eyes caught one from three hours ago to your school email:

From: print@decelis.edu at 12:33 PM

To: you

Your print job is ready for pickup at station 3.

You blinked at the message, a little confused. You hadn’t sent anything to print recently or at all, in your years at the school. All of your work was digital. But your curiosity tugged at you, pushing you to check anyway. You get up from your chair, leaving your laptop and tablet there for the taking, these rich kids don’t steal anyways, you thought.

Nonetheless, were you missing something? You pondered what you could’ve possibly sent to print, I mean, your Philosophy and Ethics essay was to be turned in digitally, as was most of the assignments in the school. I mean what loser would even handwrite notes these days?

When you arrived at station 3, there was a semi-thick stack of papers waiting for you. You leaned forward slightly as you grabbed the stapled bundle from the tray. As you flipped over the page with your name on it, you saw it was labeled in a familiar way—finite math. 

But these were different from those stupid lecture slides…these were actually good. Detailed, thorough, and almost too clean, each concept broken down in ways that felt more digestible than your professor’s ramblings could ever be. 

Lists of formulas, steps on how to do problems, keywords, examples, things to remember.

Oh, this loser had time. 

You skimmed through them, and the more you read, the more you couldn’t help but feel a mix of admiration and confusion. Who had gone through the trouble of printing these out for you? Why?

And who—wait, the only person who knew about your math debacle was your mom. You don’t quite remember discussing this matter with anyone else but her because it was simply too embarrassing to admit to anyone that you were in danger of failing anything. 

As you felt this pit in your stomach, you glanced around the library. Looking for any sign of who might have been listening but then again, you got here an hour ago. You last opened your mouth about this in the cafe and the email was from…you checked your phone again, noting the timestamp of 12:33 PM.

Around the time you were in the cafe. 

No one was even looking at you in the library, everyone that was there resided at their little tables or cubicles with friends; trying to conceal hard laughs even though this was a quiet zone. 

You made the trek back to your table. But as you did, your heart thumped a little harder in your chest, unsure of what to make of it. This was fucking weird. 

Granted, the notes didn’t feel personal. It was like someone just meticulously planned it out just so they wouldn’t be confused. Fortunately, that was just enough for you to be glad. Anything would help at this point. 

As you sat back down at your table, you further inspected the booklet for anything that might’ve been an indicator of…anything. You didn’t recognize the handwriting, no you knew wrote like this. The letters fit perfectly within the lines, almost robotic. The symbols being done perfectly as well, they must’ve tried a few times to get that right, so meticulous.

It was freaky. 

But there was nothing to do at this point but use them. I mean someone, whether it be a stalker, eavesdropper, divine entity, who knows, gave them to you for a reason. 

With that being said, you pulled out your tablet with your GoodNotes and got to studying.

You passed your next test with a 83.

—

The following weekend, you walked around the university football field as there was a kickback that you were invited to. 

To this day, you don’t know why the Dean even put this much trust in your class to not drink on campus. The whole setup was a goldmine for rule-breaking: dim lighting, loud ass music (your heart ached for the residents), and ever-so-convenient lack of supervision. But really there was no point, y’all were adults and well beyond or just now of drinking age.

The field was alive with activity—groups of people were already laughing, life or death games of beer pong, even a few ambitious souls were already drunk. Nonetheless, the pumpkin spice candles were doing their best to smother the scent of alcohol.

At this moment, the friends you came here with were only mildly plastered and dealing with the varying drunk personalities on top of the loud music was entirely too overwhelming for your liking. You didn’t feel comfortable getting drunk at a college party and at most you’d get lightly buzzed. Tonight, you just weren’t in the mood for drinking but a little fun wouldn’t hurt. 

The field was lit with warm orange and yellow lanterns as they were strung through and across trees, tables, and posts. Creating a cozy glow against the darkened sky, it looked like half the campus was there and fortunately, the cool weather permitted those to ease into a cute little hoodie and jeans, sweats, just comfy clothing in general.

As you scanned the premises, your eyes caught a lean figure at the edge of the bleachers toward the upper part of the field. Some were scattered around that area to socialize as it was a lot quieter, just to enjoy the music but not be crushed by the drunk and humongous athletes.

Nonetheless, you weren’t shy and knew that talking to said lean figure was a gamble but fuck it. 

You squeezed through the tight bubble of inebriated adults and found yourself free and in the small, but secluded area. 

Jay, however, had his back turned to the rest of the crowd as he swiped through his phone. As he bided his time in the least stimulating section of the field, he realized that he really could’ve been doing this at home. His heart was fluttering just thinking about it now. He could’ve been watching his shows and reading that book that’s currently annotated to death on his sofa. His plush, soft, gorgeous sofa. But no, he sat on the ice-cold, steel bleachers and his ass was numbing at the lack of warmth.

His friends dragged him out to this function so that he can hopefully feel motivated to talk to people and “get laid.”

Which just sounds idiotic because what did that even mean? Get laid? Lay where? He understood the implication, of course, but the phrasing always bothered him. It was crude. Unnecessary. And more than that—it simply didn’t apply to him. Jay wasn’t interested in the shallow pursuit of meaningless hookups. Many have tried, all have failed.

Regardless of what, he knew what they really brought him for. Jay didn’t drink, if it wasn’t water or apple juice he was not for it. So of course, having him as a designated driver was the safest thing for all of them to get home. He didn’t pull off until everyone had their seatbelts fastened and he always did just the speed limit. 

Now that he was stuck, idling looking through his phone trying to find some sort of dopamine hit from a funny video. But then he feels a hand rest on his bicep to capture his attention; to which he was grateful, taps on the shoulder feel funny. 

Then, he turned to see a little ole you, water bottle and curly hair in tow—sitting just above your collarbone. “Hey, loner,”

Jay stared at her for a beat as he shifted his phone to his other hand, then his back pocket. “Hi.”

You smiled, tilting your head. “Damn, just a ‘hi?’” 

He blinked. “You greeted me, I acknowledged it.”

Clearly amused, you shook your head with a laugh before sitting next to him on the bleachers. Your body heat radiating off of you and onto him, which despite his better judgment he needed a lot more than he would tell you. “What are you even doing out here? I didn’t think this was your scene.”

He sipped the water bottle that he had been sipping since he sat down. At this point it was pretty empty, only one good sip left. “It’s not, my friends used me. DD.”

You nodded knowingly, “Mmm…sounds like them.”

Jay hummed in agreement, rolling the near-empty water bottle between his hands. He could hear the bass of whatever song was playing pounding from the speakers across the field, the occasional drunken cheer rising above it. The whole scene felt like something he was watching from the outside, never quite a part of.

You, however, leaned back, stretching your legs out in front of you like you had no problem settling in. “You know that you could’ve said no.”

He scoffed lightly. “Right. Because that would’ve stopped them.”

“True,” you admitted with a grin. “They can be kinda relentless.”

Jay didn’t respond, but something about the way you said kinda made him side-eye you. Like you didn’t mind the persistence. Like you even liked it. Liked that your friends were all over the place, you thrive on it. 

You nudged his knee with yours. “How are classes?”

He sighed. “Fine.”

“How are the friends?”

“Fine.”

You squinted at him. “Are you okay?”

Jay narrowed his eyes. “Are you okay?”

At that, you burst out laughing, throwing your head back. “Oh my God,” you gasped between giggles, shaking your head. “Talking to you is so hard.”

Jay just watched you, his expression unreadable. He wasn’t sure why people kept saying that. He answered every question, didn’t he? It wasn’t his fault the questions weren’t interesting. You exhaled, shaking your head with a lingering smile before standing up. “Alright, well, have fun, Jay. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

Jay nodded once, but you were already walking off, disappearing back into the thick of the crowd.

He stared after you for a second longer than he meant to, then looked down to see the water bottle you left. Completely unopened and sealed left in the space that was between you. He sighed, cracking it open with a small click before downing his first sip.

—

The professor’s voice drifts in and out of focus as you stare at the half-filled page of notes on your laptop. Your mind keeps wandering back to the weekend, to Jay. You’re not sure what it was about the brief conversation you had with him—well, more like the awkward attempt at a conversation—but you can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to him than he lets on.

He’s so…different. Not in a bad way, just in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. And something about the way he responds, or rather, doesn’t respond, to the usual social cues keeps you intrigued. There’s a part of you that wonders if it’s your own curiosity that’s pushing you to know more, but then you think back to how he seemed almost...relieved when you left. Maybe you’re overthinking it, maybe not.

Jay was an enigma, something that you needed to get a grip on to understand. Everything about him was meticulous, not one detail too big, nor one too small. But a part of him almost seemed unnerving. 

He was so conscious of everything that he did. 

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when the professor announces the new assignment, his voice cutting through the murmur of students’ whispers.

“Write about someone you’re in proximity to but know absolutely nothing about,” he says, making eye contact with a few of the students in the back. “Find the story in someone you haven’t taken the time to understand yet. Write about what’s compelling, what’s mysterious—even if you know nothing about their life.”

A pause. Then, a slow smile creeps onto your face.

This is it.

You almost laugh out loud at the irony. You’ve been trying to figure Jay out for the past forever it seemed like, and now, here’s your chance to put it all to paper. It feels almost too perfect. Divine intervention, maybe? You tap the pen against your notebook, already imagining how you’d approach it. The awkwardness of your previous exchange, the layers to his personality you’ve yet to peel back. He’s not easy to read, but that’s exactly what makes him fascinating.

You’ll have to get closer, though. You don’t even know where to start with someone like him. Still, the challenge excites you. It’s almost like this assignment was meant to be. Jay, the one person who’s always on the edge of your thoughts.

You scampered out of class, in a way better mood than you were when you were in there. This had to be a dream, there’s no way that the universe just put this whole thing on a silver platter for you. Like this had to be a joke. 

Wandering out of the liberal arts building, you texted the group chat that you had with Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, and Heeseung. You need to get a hold of at least one of them now. 

you: wya?

heeseung <3 : dining hall, we just got here tho

jake <3: slide

you: bet

 omw rn

—

“Please,”

“I said no.” 

“Please, I swear I won’t be annoying. Like I promise—”

“You’re doing that right now.”

Of course begging this man—or any man—at 10 in the morning wasn’t on your vision board for the semester. But as you sat in this semi-densely packed dining hall, with three other eyes on you, you knew you had to pull this off so you didn’t look stupid. And you hated looking stupid.

“C’mon, Jay.” Heeseung said, grinning as he leaned back into his chair, enjoying the spectacle. 

Jay, however, was unimpressed. He barely looked up from his bowl, methodically stirring the remnants of his cereal. “It’s weird,” he muttered.

You groaned, resisting the urge to dramatically collapse onto the table. “It’s not weird! It’s a journalism assignment. Please? I need this for my GPA, this would really help me as long as it’s something good.”

He chewed firmly on his raisin bran, exactly one cup as always. “Your grade point average has nothing to do with me and isn’t my responsibility.” 

Jake let out a low whistle. “Ouch.”

You shot him a glare before turning back to Jay, determined not to let this go. “Okay, sure, technically it’s not your responsibility, but think of it as...a good deed. A community service moment.”

Jay shook his head, “You can literally pick anyone else, I cannot be that interesting.”

You smiled as you gestured to him, “That’s exactly what makes you interesting. Just think about it, the assignment is to write about someone I’m close to but know nothing about. I can tell you a whole thing about these fuckers—” You point to the other boys that surrounded you and him; your comment only elicited ‘boo’s’ and balled up napkins being thrown at your head; as expected. “But Jay, I’ve had your phone number, seen you at least 8 times a week for three years, we are in a group chat together. And yet, we’ve never had a conversation that lasted more—this is our longest conversation.” Your eyes bulged as you tried to get through to him. “You are my perfect subject.” You folded your hands together hopefully.

Jay exhaled through his nose, barely reacting to your dramatic plea. He didn’t look convinced, but he also hadn’t shut you down yet, which meant you still had a shot.

But as you sat there, hands folded as you pleaded with him to let him be your subject, he couldn’t help but actually feel bad for you. Funnily enough, he knew you needed this. He knew—given the math situation that you needed all of the help you could get. That at least if you failed math, maybe getting a good grade for this assignment could give you some wiggle room to not flunk and lose your cheer scholarship that you worked your ass off to get. 

The look on your face reeked of desperation and a part of him found it funny, also partially attractive that you’re so willing to beg and plead your case as to how much you needed him. But he wouldn’t dare to say that aloud; he had some sort of couth.

But he felt that sickly, disgusting twisty feeling in his stomach at the way you looked at him, like you needed him. The way you said “my perfect subject.” Not just a perfect or the perfect subject. He was your perfect subject. 

He hated the way he noticed the detail.

Even more so, he hated the way that the deepest, darkest part of him couldn’t let him say no to you.

“You’re making a weird argument,” he said flatly, stirring his cereal. “The fact that we don’t talk much should mean you don’t pick me.” He opened his mouth, for once—hesitating before speaking. To which you took notice and perked up in excitement, but covered your mouth with your conjoined hands. Afraid of putting him off even further. 

Jay sighed, dragging his spoon through his cereal as if stalling. “If I say yes, you’re not gonna make this weird, right?”

You gasped, pressing a hand to your chest. “I would never make this weird.”

Sunghoon scoffed. “You’re literally making it weird right now.”

You shot him a quick glare before turning back to Jay. “I’ll be professional. Completely journalist mode. Objective, unbiased, purely academic.” You held up three fingers like a scout pledge. “You won’t even know I’m there.”

Jay arched his brow. “That’s actually worse.”

“Jay…” You half-whined, half-sighed with resignation.

Oh, and the way you said his name. 

“Okay. I’ll do it.” He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling like he was signing his life away.

Your face lit up instantly, your hands slamming against the table in excitement. “Wait, for real?”

“What’s for real?” He looked, with furrowed brows.

The group—sans you—collectively let out a groan. You were too happy to judge him right now. “I mean, are you actually going to help me?”

“I said yes, didn’t I?” 

That was more than enough for you.

—

You woke up with a little pep in your step, the sun was shining, birds chirping, and your skin was glowing. Fortunately enough for the sake of your assignment, your other professors gave you the week for your research and observation of Jay. Of course, when you came back you had to catch up but you had to take your wins while you could get them. 

As you walked out of your dorm and embraced the crisp air, you put on your headphones to fully dive into the fall weather that you were having. You and Jay both agreed to meet at the cafe but you decided to show up a little earlier to set up your things and whatnot.

You entered the student run cafe and quietly greeted everyone behind the counter as you found a booth in a quiet corner; hopefully something that will make Jay comfortable, some privacy maybe.

Plopping down into the booth with a grunt, you gleefully pull out your laptop to open up a blank document for you to type on right beside one with questions that you’ve prepared. Then you dug in your bag for a folder with some other papers and set them on the table. Resting them on top of the folder as you were afraid of the table not being clean and staining the paper. 

Luckily, Jay arrived at the exact time that you agreed upon. Which is just like him, never too early nor late but just on time. “Hello,” he said plainly as he sat down across from you. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Park.” You smiled, leaning your elbows on the table and resting your chin in your hands. 

He furrowed his brow, “Since when do you speak to me this way?”

“Since I promised that I would maintain my professionalism to not make you uncomfortable.” You nodded affirmatively, “So if this is what it takes to make you feel as safe as possible then I’ll do what I can.”

Jay gave you a flat look, “That actually makes me more uncomfortable.”

You stifled a laugh, leaning back to neutral position. “Duly noted.”

Leaning back, Jay glanced down at the assortment of papers, your open laptop, and the neatly placed folder. “You’re really taking this seriously, huh?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “I have to. It’s my grade, and you’re a particularly difficult subject.”

He tilted his head, “How so?”

Sighing, you cross your legs beneath the table. “You don’t talk. But that’s gonna change today.” You say bluntly, picking up a pen.

Jay sighed, shifting in his seat. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

You sat up a little straighter. “Great. So before we start, let’s go over some ground rules.” You pushed the papers toward him. “I made a rough outline of what this project is going to look like—structured interviews, observational research, some candid moments here and there. Nothing too invasive, but I need you to be honest with me.”

Jay picked up the paper, skimming it with mild interest. “And if I refuse to answer something?”

You shrugged. “You can pass, but you have to give me something to work with.”

“Fine,” he muttered, setting the paper down. “What else?”

“I also want to set some boundaries,” you continued. “If there’s anything you don’t want me to write about or anything that makes you uncomfortable, let me know now so I can adjust.”

Jay tapped his fingers against the table, thinking. “Just…don’t make me sound stupid.”

You blinked at him. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Duly noted, again. But please do understand that embarrassing you is not the goal here.” You put your hand on the table, to convey your openness. “The product is really going to be a reflection of me as well and if you were to look stupid then so would I. If that gives you any consolation.”

Jay exhaled through his nose, seemingly satisfied. “Alright, journalist. Fire away.”

You grinned, fingers hovering over your keyboard. “Let’s start with something…a little challenging—”

He groaned, “Already?”

You held your hands up apologetically, “I’m sorry, this one is rough but I promise it’s not that bad.” 

He nodded quietly with an—already—distressed sigh. 

Looking into his eyes with a gentle smile you say, “What’s your name?”

Surprisingly that did get a little bit of a laugh out of him. Not a loud one, but a small baby laugh. The kind of laugh where he laughs through his nose and he looks down to avoid your crinkled eyes as you doubled over the table. “That was a terrible joke.”

“But it got you to loosen up, no?” You point at him, “Look! I made you smile! Point me!” You wiggle excitedly in your seat which almost made him quirk a smile.

“Whatever,” He mumbled.

The laughter died down and you repeated your question, “Okay no seriously, what’s your name?”

“Park Jongseong, or—as you call me by my English name, Jay.” He nodded affirmatively.

You typed it out, nodding along. “Jay…got it.”

He squinted at you. “You knew that already.”

“Yeah, but I’m trying to make this official,” you said, gesturing to your laptop. “Journalist mode, remember?”

Jay rolled his eyes but didn’t argue.

“Alright,” you continued, tapping your fingers against the keyboard. “Next question—where are you from?”

He leaned back against the booth. “Born in Seattle, raised in Korea.”

You tilted your head. “Do you feel more connected to one place over the other?”

Jay hesitated, his fingers twitching slightly before he crossed his arms. “I guess Korea, since I grew up there. But I don’t really think about it that much.”

You hummed, jotting that down. “Interesting. Alright, let’s do a rapid-fire round to warm you up.”

He eyed you warily. “Define ‘rapid-fire.’”

“Easy stuff,” you assured him. “Favorite color?”

“Purple.”

“Favorite food?”

“Anything that tastes good, but mainly meat dishes.”

“Biggest pet peeve?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Too many.”

You snorted. “Noted. Dream job?”

Jay opened his mouth, then closed it. His jaw tightened slightly before he shrugged. “Still figuring that out. But when I was a kid I wanted to be a chef.”

You smile endearingly, “That’s so cute, any reason?”

He looks around, almost like he was searching for the answer in the nooks of his brain. “Not really, I love to cook. I love food. I love to eat. So I just thought it would be a fun thing to do. I always loved helping my mom in the kitchen and those memories are nice to hold onto.”

“So, sentimental and personal value?”

He nods, “Yeah, sort of.”

You nod as you rapidly type this into the document, just as you were filling in the last bit of notes he interrupts you. “What about you?”

Your fingers stunt at the question, not expecting for him to actually care, or even ask. “What about me?”

“What did you want to be as a kid?”

You frown, “Don’t laugh.”

“You’re not that funny so I guarantee that won’t happen.” He deadpanned. 

You shoot him a glare, lips pressing into a flat line. “Wow. Thanks for that.”

Jay smirks, shrugging. “Just being honest.”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh. “Fine. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a mail carrier.”

The man tilts his head and as promised, does not laugh. “That’s stupid.”

You nodded reluctantly, fully prepared to defend yourself. “Right? But hear me out—I thought it’d be the perfect job. You get to walk around all day, wear a cute little uniform, and people are always happy to see you because you’re delivering their mail.”

Jay blinked, surprised by how sincere you sounded. “That’s…actually kind of sweet.” He fidgeted in his seat, as if he was uncomfortable by the feeling in your stomach.

You raised an eyebrow. “You just called it stupid.”

“I did,” he admitted. “But now it sounds weirdly wholesome. Like, the kind of dream a Pixar protagonist would have.”

You laughed, pointing at him. “See? You get it now.”

“No, I don’t but I see why a kid would like something like that. Very one-dimensional but…endearing so I won’t crucify you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a laugh. “Anyway…”

Jay nods, finding himself getting too comfortable. “Yeah, yeah. What’s next?”

You glance at your list of questions, already grinning. “Let’s talk about your daily routine.”

“Okay.” He leaned back in thought. “So…I wake up and am out of bed at exactly 9 AM. From there I do the typical, brush my teeth and wash my face. 9:19, I get dressed…then at 9:28 I—”

And as he rambled on about this rigid routine and you sat there in shock, almost gobsmacked at how much of a stick in the mud this guy was. Like holy fuck, is there any joy in his life?

“Then I spray my cologne at exactly 9:28 because it’s the perfect time to balance out the scent before I head out the door.” Jay continued, completely unaware of the disbelief that was likely written all over your face.

Letting out an incredulous laugh, trying to wrap your mind around this. “Woah, woah, woah…so you’re telling me you have this entire routine mapped down to the exact minute?”

“Is that bad?” Jay looked as if you were stupid or said something ridiculous. You caught yourself quickly, trying to do everything in the world to not make him go back into his shell and retract. “No! It’s not at all just…I didn’t expect for you to have so much discipline.”

He shook his head, “You say that as if everyone doesn’t have a routine.” From the look on his face, it was another moment of him just not being able to wrap his own mind around how you would think something like this is wild.

“Everyone has some sort of routine or regimen, but that? Jay, it’s like you’re in the military or something.” You smiled.

“Are you jealous?” He tilted his head, completely oblivious to how weird that sounded, though you were only slightly taken aback. You weren’t used to his blatant honesty yet but, baby steps.

“Very much so, actually.” You nodded curtly as you turned to your laptop to type some more information on there for your draft. “It takes me like an hour to get out of bed.”

Jay doesn’t reply but just suppresses a smile as he nods, he doesn’t judge you completely but for someone like him, he urgently needs some sort of structure. It simply gives him peace of mind and there’s nothing that makes him feel more secure than following his solid regimen. Sure, others would call him strict, anal-retentive, literally insane but if that’s the case then so be it!

“But for now, the last question.” You smile as you finish typing some more, “What is something that you’ve always wanted to do?”

“Nothing. I’ve done everything that I’ve wanted to do already.” He replies back almost immediately. 

“Everything?” You deadpanned, “There’s nothing that you want to do right now?”

He pursed his lips as he slowly shook his head, “Nope. I’ve seen the world, I’m fortunate enough to have given back to people that need it, I’m lucky enough to attend one of the best universities in the country.” He shrugged, “All before I’m 30.”

A part of your stomach flipped, unsure if it was from how attractive he was from the mix of arrogance and humility. But maybe…envy?

Jay, along with many other students at your university, were very wealthy and there was no denying that he lived comfortably. His father was on the Board of Directors of a world-renowned software engineering company and his mother was the Creative Director of a high-end global fashion brand. They had a wonderful marriage and Jay never had to worry about not having anything—he only had to worry about how much he was able to get. 

Granted he can’t control who his parents were, Jay knew the privilege that he held and was not ignorant to that fact. He was lucky to have a childhood with minimal trauma, great friends, a happy home, and to be attractive because he knew that privileges came with that too. 

As for you, you came from a middle class family and your childhood wasn’t entirely too bad. You were a child of divorce and your parents couldn’t stand the other, you had to share things with your siblings, and when it was time to apply for college you had to work tirelessly to earn scholarships to supplement tuition because your grades just weren’t good enough. But you weren’t stupid, you just had to find a sport to be undeniable in, so by the grace of everything good your parents put you and your younger sister in cheer when you were kids. She found other things and ventured off while you stuck with cheer. Now here you are at Decelis University on a full ride.

But that didn’t come easily. Serious groveling was involved.

So as Jay spoke about how he’s lived a life of travel, charity, and world-class education—you only had the latter in common. And that hurt you more than you’d like to admit. 

You so utterly wished you were able to travel, use your means for good, and have parents to brag about. 

You swallowed, forcing a polite smile as you tapped your keyboard. “Right. Of course. That makes sense.”

Jay didn’t say anything, but you felt his gaze settle on you. Not sharp, not piercing—but steady. You could practically hear him analyzing your silence.

“And you?” he asked suddenly.

You blinked, surprised he even cared enough to return the question. “Me?”

He nodded once. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

You hesitated, your fingers pausing mid-gesture on the trackpad. “Honestly? I want to travel. I want to see somewhere far away. Somewhere where no one knows me.” You tried to keep your voice light, casual. “I wanna sit on a train that cuts through foggy mountains, or eat food I can’t pronounce off a plate I don’t recognize. I want to…disappear for a while.” You nodded with something distant in your gaze, as if you were on that train already. Eating that food and trying and failing to make friends with the locals.

Jay’s eyes didn’t move from yours. He didn’t offer sympathy. He didn’t soften. He just regarded you like he was simply encoding the information you were giving him, like he couldn’t relate but he was trying to understand anyway. “That’s not impossible,” he said plainly.

You waved him off but let out a smile right after. “For you? Probably not.”

Jay raised an eyebrow. “You think I didn’t work to get where I am?”

You looked at him, dry. “Did you have to beg the financial aid office for three weeks straight and pray someone lost your paperwork just so you could get more funding?”

He was quiet again. And then, “No.”

You turned back to your laptop. “Exactly.”

Jay didn’t apologize. He didn’t offer a solution. He just leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.

“Then maybe you should get better at begging.”

You froze.

It wasn’t said with malice. He wasn’t being cruel. But still—it hit like a slap. Cold, clean, and sharp enough to draw blood.

You blinked down at your laptop, suddenly unable to see the screen clearly. Your throat tightened and a piercing rush of fury made haste to your stomach.

“…Right.” You said it lightly. Like it didn’t matter. Like you weren’t already replaying the words in your head on loop, wondering if he meant them as an insult or advice or some strange mixture of both.

Jay shifted slightly in his seat. If he noticed the change in your tone, he didn’t say anything. He just went quiet again—returning to that wall of silence you’d gotten so used to at the beginning.

And just like that, you were reminded exactly why you never talked about stuff like this with people like him.

—

Later that night, Jay along with the guys—sans Heeseung, he was out on a date with his current girlfriend—along with their freshman friend, Jungwon, were playing Fortnite.

As Jay sat in his bedroom, eyeing his PC with his blue-light glasses, he heard muffled swears and screaming through his headphones as one of them was downed. “Yo Jay, revive me, what the fuck!” Jake yelled into the mic as he was downed during a gunfight. 

Jay instinctively hit the key combo to crouch and build cover, shielding Jake’s fallen avatar as bullets whizzed past them.

“You’re too far out,” Jay muttered, reviving him anyway. “You always do this. Every time.”

“Bro, just say you love me and go,” Jake huffed.

“He’s not gonna say that,” Sunghoon laughed. “Jay probably hasn’t said ‘I love you’ since he was, like, six.”

“I say it when I mean it,” Jay replied coolly, tone dry as ever.

“Oh, so never,” Jungwon piped in, and the rest of the guys lost it.

Jay rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Focus up. We’re top twenty.”

But just as he adjusted in his seat, Jake broke the flow again. “Wait—how’d that interview go earlier? You were with my girl for a minute.”

Jay deadpanned, “She’s not your girl, she doesn’t like you. She’s rejected you multiple times, she will never want you. Ever, in your life.” He concealed a smile, trying not to laugh at his own cruelty.

The call went silent then Sunghoon and Jungwon ended up bursting into their own laughter. Jungwon’s being the loudest of course. 

Jake smiled too, trying to seal his laughs as well—though he was defeated. “Shut up! She’ll come around one day.”

Jay adjusted his headset, the smirk still tugging at his lips. “Sure, bro. Just keep telling yourself that.”

“Nah, I’m serious,” Jake said through a laugh. “Girls love the long game. I’m just giving her time to realize I’m the love of her life.”

Sunghoon snorted. “More like time to block your number.”

“Or file a restraining order,” Jungwon chimed in, wheezing.

Jake gasped dramatically. “I would never harass! I’m a gentleman.”

Jay hummed, casually looting a nearby chest. “A gentleman wouldn’t call her ‘my girl’ when she’s clearly not interested.”

Jake exhaled, letting the teasing roll off. “Alright, alright. Point made. How’d it go though? Actually.”

Jay leaned back slightly, eyes narrowing on the screen like he was thinking more about earlier than the game. “It went fine.”

“Just fine? You were with her for hours.” Sunghoon inquired, looting in one of the bunkers they arrived at just in time. 

Jungwon followed suit as he axed at some gold, “Wait, what girl are we talking about?”

Jay said your name blankly, eyes still very glued to the screen as he came out of the bunker and got in the car to drive them across the map.

Jungwon’s eyes widened, “The cheerleader? The captain?” He hopped out of the car to shoot other stragglers behind some trees. “Bro, she’s so fine.”

Jake perked up, “I’m telling you! I’ve been saying this for years!” He knocked an opponent and immediately went to shoot at his teammate.

Jay’s eyes, still not leaving the screen as he muttered, “She’s alright.”

Sunghoon laughed, “You’re trippin’, that girl could tell me to bend over and I’d do it yesterday.”

The boy in glasses furrowed his brows, “I’m not tripping over anything. I’m sitting down, what are you talking about? And Hoon, are you alright?”

“You piss me off…” Jungwon sighed. “And yeah, that was crazy. Valid, but crazy.”

Jake laughed, “Trippin’ as in, you’re crazy. Losing your mind. What you said or did doesn’t make sense.”

Jay snorted, adjusting his loadout as he drove past an enemy squad without flinching. “That sounds stupid as fuck. But, okay I get it. I just don’t agree.”

“You’re telling me,” Jake said, incredulous, “that you sat across from her for all that time and didn’t once think she was hot?”

Jay shrugged. “Didn’t say that. I said she’s alright.”

“Oh my God,” Jungwon muttered. “You’re lying through your teeth.”

“I’m not,” Jay insisted, swerving the car expertly through an ambush. “She’s highly intelligent. Thorough. Articulate. Actually listens when you talk. But yeah—sure. The first thing you focus on is that cheer skirt.”

Despite the fact that was in fact lying through his teeth, Jay found you incredibly attractive and there was no denying that. But he wouldn’t dare admit it because then that would make it seem real. He respected you, a whole lot more than one would think. And the fact that he was so quick to defend you in this instance made him cringe at the thought, but satisfied that he stood for something in the name of you.

Jake gasped again. “How dare you reduce me to a stereotype!”

Sunghoon barked a laugh. “You are a stereotype.”

Jake ignored him. “But wait, what was the vibe though? Like, did y’all actually talk or was it just, like, all questions and shit?”

Jay hesitated, the car slowing slightly as the storm closed in around the map’s edges. “She just asked questions about me.” He shrugged, “my life, what I want to do, the things I’ve always wanted to do, et cetera.” 

“And…you said?” Jungwon pried.

“I just answered her questions, but it got weird on the last one.” 

Jake narrowed his eyes, even though Jay couldn’t see it. “What was the last one?”

Jay scratched the side of his neck, still focused on the screen. “She asked me what I’ve always wanted to do. So I told her the truth. That I’ve done most of it already—travel, service, the academic stuff.”

Sunghoon hummed. “Okay,”

Jay ignored him. “But then I asked her the same question. And she said she wants to disappear.”

“Disappear?” Jungwon echoed, his voice dipping.

“Not in a scary way,” Jay clarified quickly. “Just…like go somewhere far. Somewhere no one knows her. Ride trains. Be unrecognizable for a while. Just be somewhere new.”

Jake went quiet, his fingers pausing over his keys. “That’s…actually pretty cool.”

Jay nodded once. “She meant it too. Said it like she’s been dreaming about it for years.”

“And what’d you say?” Sunghoon asked, a little more gently now.

Jay sighed, his voice getting quieter. “I said that’s not impossible. That if she really wanted it, she could do it.”

Jungwon blinked. “Okay, not the worst response—”

“But then she waved me off and was like ‘for you, probably not.’” He reflected as he leaned back against the back of his chair. “And I took it a little personally and assumed that she thought that I didn’t work for what I have.”

“Oh no…” Sunghoon groaned, already smelling something negative from a mile away. He knew how Jay got at times, he genuinely didn’t—and still doesn’t—know how to talk to people. It’s not like he means to be this way, but it just takes him time to warm up to people. If it’s not his family or his friends—that he’s known for the last twenty years—then he really doesn’t know how to navigate emotional nuance. Jay’s not cruel, not cold, but he’s clinical. Methodical. He speaks in facts and solutions. And sometimes, that means he ends up sounding like a dick when he doesn’t mean to.

“Then she said that wasn’t what she meant but then asked me if I ever had to beg financial aid for more money. I, obviously, said no. But then I told her that she should get better at begging then.” He sighed. 

“Oh, you’re shitty.” Sunghoon laughed as he rubbed his eyes, groaning. “Dude, why would you say that?”

“I don’t know!” Jay snapped, a little defensive, but mostly just frustrated with himself. “It came out before I could stop it. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Jake winced. “You told a scholarship student to get better at begging. Like she hasn’t already had to do that a hundred times.”

Jay dragged a hand through his hair, clearly regretting everything. “It was supposed to be a joke—like, a dry one. I thought she’d get that I wasn’t being serious.”

“She’s not one of us, Jay,” Jungwon said, unusually pointed. “She doesn’t know your humor. And even if she did, that’s not funny.”

“Yeah bro, she’s a girl, you can’t talk to her like she’s a fucking man.” Jake said, trying to lighten the mood but still firm. “Like, guys are different, we can take jabs and laughs, but with girls...you can’t just throw shit like that around.”

Jay paused, processing. “What does gender have to do with this?”

Jake leaned back in his chair, exhaling like it was obvious. “It’s just how it is, man. Girls already hate men as is. I curse at you, call you names, sure, but I would never say any of those things to a woman, ever.” He shook his head as he leaned back into his chair. “It’s also a respect thing too.”

Jay frowned, his brow furrowing. “I don’t think that’s about gender. If anything, I’ve known you for years. If I can take shit from you, she should be able to handle a dry comment. You guys joke with her all the time.”

Jake shook his head. “You don’t get it, dude. Like, you see how I curse at you? Call you a dumbass every other minute? I know you don’t take it personally, but if I said some of that stuff to a girl, she’d think I was being an asshole, not just joking around. It’s different.” He perked up, making his final point. “Also, the way you talk to her—when you rarely do—is like you can’t stand her already so how do you think she’d take that?”

Sunghoon chimed in, his voice light but understanding. “Exactly, man. You’ve got this wall of sarcasm, and some people—especially if they don’t know you well—can’t see it as anything but you just being a dickhead. She probably heard that, and it didn’t feel like a joke.”

“I don’t even think it’s that, it’s the fact that she was vulnerable enough to be real with you and you just shit on her.” Jungwon said idly, landing the last shot before winning a victory royale for the squad.

Jay sighed, “Yeah, I don’t feel great about it.”

“Good. You can actually feel something other than disdain and dejection for once.” Sunghoon said as he bit his apple and tapped on his desk.

“Those are big words for Elmo,” Jay muttered, half under his breath as he reached for his water bottle.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, unimpressed. “You see what I mean? That’s exactly the shit I’m talking about. You deflect everything with sarcasm.”

Jake pointed at his screen. “And that’s cute when we’re roasting each other during a game, but when someone’s opening up to you…”

Jay swirled his water bottle before taking a sip. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just…don’t always know what to say.”

“We know,” Jungwon said, cracking his knuckles. “That’s why we’re saying think next time. She wasn’t trying to play you or be dramatic. She was sharing something real, and you basically made a joke out of it.”

Jay was quiet for a second too long. His screen dimmed slightly, signaling how still he’d gotten. 

Jake noticed the silence and took the opportunity to cut the tension. “Anyway,” he said, stretching in his chair, “she’s still bad as hell though.”

Sunghoon laughed. “Dude, facts. Like, no offense to your emotional growth or whatever, Jay, but she’s gorgeous.”

“Deadass,” Jungwon chimed in. “When she walks by in that uniform? Everything drops. My jaw, my heart, my stomach, my GPA, my balls—”

Jay interjected, returning to the conversation. “I said she’s alright.”

The call fell silent for a beat.

“…Are you gay?” Jake asked bluntly.

Jay blinked. “What?”

“Like, respectfully,” Jake said, leaning forward. “You just said she’s alright and not, like, ethereal, which is a crazy take.”

“Right,” Sunghoon nodded. “Like, it’s okay if you are. Just tell us now so we stop wasting time setting you up with every fine girl we meet.”

Jay stared at his screen, unamused. “I’m not gay.”

“You sure?” Jungwon teased. “Because saying she’s just ‘alright’ when she looks like that is wild.”

Jay sighed. “I’m just not interested in her like that.”

Jake leaned into the mic, grinning. “So you admit she’s fine, though?”

Jay hesitated, then exhaled sharply. “I acknowledge she is conventionally attractive, sure.”

Sunghoon snorted. “You sound like Siri.”

“I’m just saying,” Jay shrugged, sipping his water again. “I’m not blind. I just don’t base my entire personality around girls I’ve never had a conversation with.”

Jake clutched his chest. “I have had conversations with her—”

“She called you delusional to your face,” Jay deadpanned.

“And I respect her honesty!” Jake defended.

Sunghoon pointed out, “There’s a lot to like, Jay.” He nods affirmatively, “Once you get to know her, she’s so sweet. She’s a great girl.”

Jay deadpanned, “So why don’t you date her then?”

“Because he knows not to play with me.” Jake said passively as he stood up to stretch. 

Jungwon rolled his eyes, “Shut the fuck up, bro.”

Jake scoffed as he twisted at the waist, cracking his back. “She wants me and you know it. You’re just mad because I don’t fumble every conversation I have with her.”

Jay didn’t even look up. “You fumble every other one though.”

Sunghoon wheezed. “He’s got you there, man.”

Jake put his hands on his hips, mock offended. “You’re just jealous because when she talks to me, she laughs. You get ‘that’s not what I meant’ and a pity smile.”

Jay blinked slowly. “But she’s also the one that really wants to be my friend so…”

“Okay,” Jungwon interrupted, dragging his chair closer to the screen. “We’re spiraling. Let’s just agree none of us are winning with her right now.”

“I am,” Jake said under his breath.

“Bro, shut the fuck up,” all three of them said in unison.

Jake raised his hands in surrender, a smug grin spreading across his face. “Just saying. Some of us have charm.”

Jay looked dead at his screen, monotone. “You’re wearing a Naruto headband.”

Jake held it up proudly. “And I still get more girls than you.”

Jay smiled, “That’s by choice.” He laughed, “Believe me,”

Jake’s jaw dropped. “Nah, bro, be serious. You haven’t had a proper crush since we were fifteen.”

Jay leaned back, utterly unbothered. “That’s because I have taste. And standards.”

“Oh my God,” Jungwon muttered, rubbing his temples. “Here we go.”

Jake was not letting it go. “What, so every girl I’ve liked is beneath your standards now?”

Jay shrugged. “I didn’t say it. You did.”

Sunghoon laughed, wheezing now. “This man really thinks he’s better than the rest of us just because he’s emotionally constipated.”

“I’m selective,” Jay corrected, folding his arms.

“You’re allergic to joy,” Jungwon said flatly.

Jay pointed. “Selective.”

Jake crossed his arms. “Alright, selective—so what’s the deal with you and her then?”

Jay blinked. “What deal?”

Jake leaned forward, grinning now. “You think she’s pretty?”

Jay paused for a half-second too long. “She’s…alright.”

The silence was deafening.

Sunghoon leaned toward the mic, deadpan. “Do you like men?”

Jay didn’t even flinch. “Only your dad.”

—

So in some weird, fucked up way, after that meeting your life has seemed to spiral even more. 

It’s only been two days since, and while you had to return back to class soon—you hadn’t even looked Jay in the eye since. And respectfully so. 

But it’s like he just put some weird curse on your life. Your hair has been frizzy, the gel in your wash and go was giving out which resulted in you having to slick it back. Which wasn’t bad, it just meant you had to put extra time into your appearance—which means you have to get up earlier—and gel is not cheap!

You’ve been having cramps because your period has come back with a vengeance, it’s been raining, and to make matters worse…your laptop gave out. 

Was the laptop like ten years old? Yes, but that’s not the point as if she couldn’t wait to give out at a better time? 

Luckily, all of your files and anything worth keeping were all saved on cloud. But besides your phone and tablet, you had no convenient device to access them on. And it wasn’t like you could just get up and buy a new one. Money was tight at home right now and you weren’t going to have a job until the upcoming summer. Which even then, still wouldn’t give you enough money for another computer.

So as you sat at your desk in your dorm, hands shaking over your laptop keyboard as you eyeballed the blacked out screen—you pondered what the bond for an arson offense would be. 

Your chest heaved as your head grew tight, tears threatening to release tears as you quickly grabbed your phone. You needed to let this out.

you: are y’all at the dorm?

sunghoon <3: yeah why?

heeseungie <3: mhm

jakey <3: yes beloved

jay: no, at my place

you: ok well besides jay, everyone evacuate

blowing up this entire campus rn, me included

sunghoon <3: ?????

heeseungie <3: um ???

jakey <3: HELLO ??/1!1!/1/??

you: me included

EVERYBODYS dying bro idc

heeseung <3: what happened kiddo?

you: bro my fkn laptop is GONE

like not working

dead

conked out

DONE-ZO

NIENTE

jakey <3: wasn’t she like rly old tho??

you: that’s not the point

the point is that I NEED HER NOW MORE THAN EVER BRUH LIKE WTF ????

ngl this has not been my week

sunghoon <3: yeah that’s gotta suck omg i’m so sorry

heeseungie <3: no fr like if i had an extra one or something i would seriously give it to you

jakey <3: yes srsly i’m so sorry love

jay: does this mean our sessions are over?

you: yes for now, i have to speak to my professor and ask for an extension or some accommodation for rn

guess ur off the hook for a while, i’ll just let u know

jakey <3: i mean you could always use my laptop when you need to

you: oh thanks jake

jakey <3: you just gotta come over to my dorm to get it tho

you: i am going to put my hands on you

jakey <3: i’d actually really like that

heeseungie <3: you just…

—

It took everything in Jay’s power to not bust a gut in this situation. It was almost pathetic really, like this was laughable. He had to sit there with you and the other guys as you continuously ranted about the minor inconveniences that were throwing off your routine. Your hair, the fuckass weather, him, and now your laptop.

And maybe that’s what made it so funny. That you were actually stressed. Not in the performative, “oh my god my life is ending because I chipped a nail” kind of way, but in the “I’m one inconvenience away from crying in public” kind of way. And Jay could see it in your eyes—even through the screen. The way your hands trembled around your phone. The way your voice cracked mid-rant when you started talking about your files. The way you tried to play it off with drama and threats of arson, but the bags under your eyes said you were just really fucking tired.

It was that—more than the jokes, more than the laptop, more than the insult you texted him directly—that stayed with him.

Jay wasn’t good with feelings. But he knew guilt. He knew it very well.

That night, he stared at his ceiling with one arm flung over his head and the other scrolling through his phone. His Apple store cart sat open, untouched for twenty minutes. The MacBook Air (15”, Midnight, 256GB) hovered near checkout. He added a sleeve. Then deleted it. Then added it again.

Then he opened Amazon against his better judgment, typing ‘macbook air 15 inch case’ into the search bar. So as he perused some of the options, he saw a clear, glittery one that mirrored the one you had on your last computer. Okay, nice. Add to Cart.

 Then he caught himself looking at a bunch of stickers, some funny ones, some cute ones, some aesthetic ones, he didn’t care he just added all of them. Add. Add. Add. Then purchased them quickly then switched back to the Apple page and added the extra annual eighty dollars for insurance and pressed buy without a second thought. Labeling both orders as gifts so he could avoid putting his name.

“I’m not doing this because I feel bad,” he muttered to himself. “I’m doing this because…she needs it. That’s it.”

The confirmation email popped into his inbox a few seconds later, notifying him that both orders would be in your P.O. box in two days. 

He didn’t say anything to the group the next day. Just went to class like normal. Looked right through you when you walked into lecture, wet hair tied up, hoodie swallowing your shoulders. He watched as you opened your notebook and used your tablet to follow along with the slides on the projector screen.

And the whole time, he said nothing.

—

You didn’t check your P.O. box until late that evening. You only stopped by because the notification wouldn’t stop popping up on your phone and you thought it was maybe a bill or another random spam from that shitty Mediterranean place off campus.

Confusion, the expression on your face as you got two slips for your box and brought two different packages back to your room. You don’t recall ordering anything this size but you just chalked it up to the seller not having small enough boxes to fit your skincare into.

So when your eyes laid on a thin, sleek white box with a fraction of its logo out of it…your stomach dropped. As well as a sleeve.

You scrambled to the other box to open it, seeing a boatload of stickers, a case, and everything else. The air around you shifted, what the fuck. 

Tears misted your eyes as you scanned for a note, something, any indicator of this not being a fluke. Fortunately for you, a note was printed in the package with the stickers and case:

first math notes, now a laptop?

whatever happened to hello, my name is…?

well let me start, my name is

— a friend

p.s. the laptop is insured. if anything happens to it, just give it to them under your name.

You didn’t know whether to be creeped out and deeply troubled or appreciative and suddenly in love? For someone who threatened arson and assault on a trusted friend, you weren’t exactly within your right mind and that’s okay!

But despite feeling scared—you were going to worry about that later—your chest convulsed a bit as you sat down at your desk. Tears biting at your eyes and eventually giving way to the oncoming ones. 

You wanted to leave the tears to your period, or maybe even the mild seasonal depression. But this was truly surreal, again creepy, but surreal. 

This might sound super dramatic—hello, if not then what are we even here for—but you sobbed, hands shaking as you hugged the laptop to your chest. Your forehead resting on your desk as tears pooled onto the surface. 

You didn’t know who to thank. The universe? God? Allah? Buddha? Your ancestors? Whoever it was to thank for sending this mystery person into your life that so obviously had the means to help you in such an urgency and dire situation.

Your whole life was this laptop, it had stuck with you through part of middle school, high school, the first two and half years of college and you hadn’t really known how much it had meant to you until you didn’t have it anymore.

For now, you weren’t going to focus on who did it. Just the moment and the gratitude of your problem being solved. 

Small—well—Major victories.

—

After time had set in, you had time to rest and recalibrate. Having this time for yourself definitely helped alleviate the stress. 

With this, though, you started to make sense of things. 

The only person you had even told about your struggles in math were your mother. No one else as you didn’t want anyone to think you were stupid for being in danger of failing. Academic insecurities, they’re never rational. As if you’re the only person in the world to be bad at math.

Then, you had only told your Flower-4 about the laptop situation. 

Nothing made sense. There were major discrepancies in this. When you had told your mom about your math quarrel, you were in a public place where anyone could’ve seen or heard you. Okay, whatever. But there is something to note that you definitely do need to scan the places you walked into from now on. 

Plus, the laptop thing happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to complain about it for long before there was a new one in your hands. But clearly this was the same person.

Despite that, you loved your new computer. It was nice, sleek, slim, a lot faster than the last one and that was a major step up. Plus, at least it was insured. You kept open beverages too close to your electronics more than you’d like to admit. 

You sat in the courtyard at some random table as you typed away on your new device. The weather had been better the past few days and you decided to take advantage of the cool weather. So here you were, hoodie and sweats in tow, hunched over your laptop as you hurried to catch up on the work you had put off the last two days. The wind blew your coily hair all kinds of ways so you just put it up and out of the way for the time being. 

Blasting music in your headphones, you couldn’t hear a thing and that was more than enough reason for you to lock in on your assignments. Until you felt a tap on your shoulder and saw someone plop down at the chair right across from you.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” The annoyingly attractive Jake sat with a smile that shone the light of a thousand suns. 

You let out a small laugh as you moved one of your ear pads to the side so you could hear him. “Hi, Jake.”

“How are y—Woah!” He leaned in closer to inspect your shiny new toy. “When did you get this? I thought you were assed out!”

Jake was nothing if not nosy, and as much as you loved him as an older brother—only a few months difference—you could not bring yourself to be real with him right now. Unless he was the culprit, a culprit wouldn’t act as surprised as he was now. He’s such a transparent person that anyone could tell if he was lying, it didn’t take much. 

Not to mention, you really didn’t want anyone having eyes and ears on this until you knew for sure what was going on yourself. 

“I thought so too. But I just had to dip into my savings.” You sighed as you peered up at him. 

“Damn,” Jake said, leaning back with a low whistle. “That’s kind of...wow. This thing’s beautiful. Is that a matte finish?”

You hummed noncommittally, already returning to your screen in an effort to change the subject. “Yeah. It’s...nice.”

But he didn’t drop it. Of course he didn’t.

Jake tilted his head, watching you type with narrowed eyes. “Wait, so you bought this, like, yesterday?”

“Day before.”

“And had it shipped that fast with a custom case and glitter stickers?”

You didn’t answer fast enough.

He blinked. “Yo. That’s...kind of a lot for someone who was mourning her last laptop like a dead relative.”

You shot him a dry look. “What, you want me to carry its ashes around?”

“No, but I do want the truth,” he said, brows raised. “Because this isn’t adding up. You don’t move like that.”

You took a slow breath through your nose. You could feel the words building in your throat, the itch to say I didn’t do this, someone else did, to say it wasn’t me—but I don’t know who to thank, and it’s killing me, but you held back.

Instead, you shrugged. “Maybe I panicked. Retail therapy and all that.”

Jake gave you a long look, then nodded slowly. “Alright. I’ll drop it.”

Jake wasn’t a good liar, I said. Never said he wouldn’t try. But you made peace with the moment you had.

“Still, I’m happy you got this situated. Seeing you mope around all day was killing my fucking vibe.” He smiled as he pulled out his phone. 

You kicked him beneath the table, “Shut up,” 

Jake winced dramatically, clutching at his shin. “Abuse. Wow. Witnessed and documented.”

“Document this,” you muttered, flipping him off with zero conviction as you refocused on your screen.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he scrolled through something on his phone, but didn’t leave. Jake was like a cat in that way—once he found a sunny spot, he’d stay there until something more interesting came along. You didn’t mind. It was comforting, having him nearby. The silence felt less loud with him in it.

A soft breeze passed through the courtyard, rustling the trees overhead, and you let it wash over you. For the first time in days, the knot in your chest didn’t feel like it was going to strangle you. The world kept turning. You had your laptop. You had your hoodie. You had Jake, annoying and radiant and grounding as ever.

But still, your fingers paused on the keyboard.

Because that didn’t mean you weren’t wondering.

It didn’t mean you weren’t thinking about him.

Not Jake.

The other him. The one you hadn’t dared to name yet.

The one whose voice lingered at the back of your mind whenever things went quiet. The one whose long, steady glances made your stomach flip. The one who you hadn’t told anything to—but somehow already knew everything.

Your eyes flicked up, scanning the courtyard out of pure instinct.

But no one was watching.

Just Jake, kicking his feet under the table and muttering to himself about a sudden scrimmage they had tomorrow morning.

Still, now you were getting paranoid and this was starting to bug you.

—

Eventually, you did have to meet with Jay again. 

Regretfully so.

The one class he had got cancelled and he really didn’t feel like driving to campus to meet you. So you had to Uber to his house which was around twenty minutes away by car. You didn’t mind, Jay sent you the money for the ride, apologizing for the inconvenience. 

Okay, someone’s probably feeling bad.

You stared down at the payment notification on your phone, thumb hovering over the screen.

It wasn’t that you were suspicious of Jay. Okay, maybe a little. But he was just...weird. Not creepy weird—just closed-off weird. Methodical. Particular. The kind of guy who would vacuum the inside of his car twice in one day because “you can never be too careful.” The kind of guy who would write down your Starbucks order with a diagram to get it right the first time.

The kind of guy who, if he had done something nice for you, would absolutely never admit it.

Still, none of it made sense. Jay was smart, sure. Quiet. Observant, sometimes to the point of unsettling. But you hadn’t told him anything. Not about the laptop, not about the math midterm stress meltdown, and definitely not about the nights you cried yourself into a spiral because everything felt like too much.

So why were you getting this itchy feeling in your chest?

You pulled your hoodie tighter around you and stepped out of the Uber when it rolled to a stop in front of his house. He’d texted the gate code already—because of course he had.

Jay opened it just as you raised your hand to knock.

His expression was blank. Not unfriendly. Just...blank. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You stepped inside, sliding off your shoes and scanning the familiar layout of his living room. “Thanks for the ride.” You placed them onto an empty spot on the rack, hoping this wouldn’t throw him off. But he didn’t seem to mind.

Despite being friend-adjacent to Jay for three years, this was the first time you had been to his home. His very contemporary, modern home. Weirdly enough, it had looked so eco-friendly and smooth on the outside but inside, the architecture and formatting was so homey. It felt like someone actually lived here but…robotically.

All you saw in your view were the meticulous details: a symmetrical shoe rack with each pair facing the same direction, a wall-mounted calendar color-coded to an extreme degree, and a bookshelf that seemed more like a display case than a personal collection. Each book aligned perfectly at the spine. No dust. No clutter.

The couch looked like it had never been sat on. The throw blanket draped over the back was folded into a triangle. Who folds things into triangles?

Jay walked ahead of you, already moving with that same silent efficiency he always did—like a ghost who had a schedule.

You followed him into the kitchen, unable to stop yourself from scanning everything as if there were a clue hidden somewhere. Everything here was so spacious, like this was meant for a family rather than just one person. The lighting was warm, the countertops spotless, and there were two matching mugs on the counter already set out. One for him. One for you.

Okay. Oddly considerate for someone who barely speaks.

He poured water into a kettle like it was muscle memory, and you leaned against the counter, eyeing him.

“You do this for all your guests?” you asked lightly, half-joking, half-curious.

Jay didn’t look at you. “Don’t really have guests.”

He said it like it was a fact. Not sad. Not defensive. Just how things were.

You tilted your head. “So what am I?”

He glanced up at you then—finally—and there was a flicker of something in his expression. Not quite surprise. Not quite amusement. Just the ghost of a smile. “Exception.”

The kettle clicked to life behind him, and the kitchen settled into quiet again.

You blinked.

Okay, what?

You didn’t know what to make of that. You weren’t even sure he meant to say it. Maybe you misheard. But he turned back to the counter, calm as ever, and went back to his tea prep like he hadn’t just said something vaguely intimate and haunting.

Nonetheless, you cleared your throat—just to simmer the tension. “Anywhere you want me to set up?” You said as you toyed with the adjusters on your backpack. 

His gaze was still glued to the mugs, but he hummed in thought. “The table right there sounds good, thank you.” 

Without a word, you padded over to the kitchen table as you took out your materials needed to start. First, your journal. Then, your pencil case. Your folder, then lastly your computer. 

You hadn’t looked at him for a reaction, the same one that Jake had given you. Calm, slightly uncomfortable—not from him. If Jay made you uncomfortable then you wouldn’t be around him nor would you have asked all of this from him. Just nerves, the tension in the air from some weird mix of prior history between you two—not much to go off of as you could swear he hated your guts—and lust. 

Jay had always stood out to you. Out of all of his friends, he was the least flamboyant, the quieter one, the one that minded his business and didn’t speak unless spoken to. Something about his blunt, structured, logical ways was so alluring to you. As you are more of an emotional person, a huge part of you had always yearned for more pragmatism in a partner and his maker might have sprinkled a bit much of that in him and you’re not sure if you’re fine with this or not.

Despite the attraction toward his personality, Jay was undeniably sexy. In a very—this word is very overused but it fits—nonchalant way. He didn’t try too hard, he didn’t try nor want to be seen and that made a part of you feel glad that not many people had access to him. 

Contrary to Jake, Sunghoon, and Heeseung—even though they’re great people—they’re whores. They have their fun and are not scared to spread all the love they have to give to the world. They either jumped from girl to girl, or they just slept around. And while nothing was wrong with that, that’s not the type of man you wanted. 

Something about the lowkey ones always turn you on a whole lot more.

And despite Jay being a major dickhead at times, he wasn’t totally evil and that makes you have even an ounce of respect for his character. He stuck to the same people, no drama, intelligent, well-rounded, charitable, and honest—in more ways than one. 

So as he sat at the table with you, mugs in hand, he carefully slid the hot tea in front of you and a little ways from your belongings.

You offered a quiet “Thanks,” watching the way he handled the cup—deliberate, steady, like he thought through every movement before making it. It wasn’t just how he moved, it was how he existed. Controlled. Precise. Like he didn’t have time to waste being clumsy or accidental.

He didn’t say anything, just took a sip of his own tea and settled back against the chair, manspread in one of his forty different pairs of black sweats. 

You sipped yours too, still feeling that flicker of heat in your chest from earlier. Exception. God. Who even says that? And so casually. Like it didn’t carry a ridiculous amount of weight for someone who barely let anyone in.

Jay didn’t seem fazed, though. If anything, he looked…blank again. Not closed-off. Just unreadable. Like he was used to people not trying to figure him out. Or giving up halfway through.

But you decided to break the ice, “So last time we spoke, we just did a little questioning so that I could get a feel for your personality. Remember? The basic stuff, then the more fantastical, hypothetical ones?”

He nodded, “I remember, I was there.” He opened a package of cookies and dipped them in his tea, then quietly slid them over to you in offering. 

You raised your brow in suspicion but accepted the cookie nonetheless. “Yeah…” You looked down at your notes you took on your computer from last time. You scanned as you sighed, “Okay, well now we’re due for the observational stuff.”

Jay’s brows furrowed in confusion, “Observational? As in—”

“—as in I watch you,” you cut in, tone casual but your eyes sharp. “I observe your behavior in a natural environment. Not scripted. Not prompted. Just…you.”

Jay stilled, cookie halfway to his mouth.

You smiled at his hesitation. “Relax. It’s not like I’m writing your psychological profile for a government file. It’s just for class.”

He looked vaguely unconvinced. “And what does that entail? You sit here and stare at me for an hour while I drink tea?”

“Pretty much.” You shrugged, clicking your pen open. “I’ll ask a few small questions here and there, but I’m mostly just looking at your patterns. How you respond. The language you use. Your microexpressions.”

Jay leaned back in his chair, the ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “So…you’re people-watching. But with a clipboard.”

“Basically.” You jotted something down—nothing major, just a note on his posture, how he sat with one leg crossed, his arms loosely on the table, totally unguarded yet somehow unreadable. “But it’s more than that. I’m trying to understand the link between your expression and your personality. You know—body language, tone, subconscious cues.”

Jay looked thoughtful for a beat. “So if I start acting weird, it’ll ruin your data?”

You being a Psychology minor, it was almost irresistible to incorporate these elements into your work. This is what made you and your works stand out—asking questions work, yes. But seeing how someone moves gives you all the answers you need.

“Jay,” you deadpanned. “This is a journalism project, not the DSM-5.”

He blinked. “Same difference.”

You huffed a laugh, typing something out just to mess with him. “Noted: subject shows signs of paranoia under minimal pressure.”

—

For the next hour, you sat on Jay’s couch in his expansive living room. Watching as he read a book in the complete silence of the house. But before you could even sit on the couch, he made you change into one of his sweats. He didn’t like the grime of outside being on his clean couch. Which…fair enough.

He’d handed you the pants wordlessly, just held them out like it was routine. Like this happens all the time.

“I—what?”

“I don’t like outside clothes on indoor furniture,” he said, already walking away. “The fibers cling.”

“…Okay, Sheldon Cooper.”

But you’d changed anyway, mostly because they were soft as hell and a part of you didn’t mind being in his clothes. 

Okay then.

But Jay lived a very simple life, he spent a lot of his time reading, watching animal documentaries, and working on his assignments that are due for weeks in advance. You had noticed that throughout your observation of him, he had hardly touched his phone. It was actually all the way across the room and he had been peacefully going about his afternoon without so much of a thought. 

Before, there was jealousy on your end. As in, how could someone be so productive and put together? Jay was so infuriatingly patient, calm, and he had such a knack for making time for everything. He was able to get work done and lounge all within the hour and it made you feel so incompetent. A one hour assignment turns into a three hour assignment because you can’t stop checking your socials and finding the right songs to fit your vibe: 50 Cent or Lana Del Rey? One can never tell.

But he’s been watching some documentary on Ancient Greek Mythology for the last 30 minutes and you’d be lying if you said it was boring. 

As your eyes kept flitting from the mounted 75” TV and your notebook, there were flurries in your mind at this point. 

I don’t even want to do this right now.

A nap sounds great.

Jay is still an asshole, but he’s disgustingly attractive and I want to kill him for that.

Take a break, you’ve been watching him do nothing all day.

Which, your subconscious was absolutely right. A little break wouldn’t hurt and you can guarantee he’ll still be in the same position, doing the same thing that he’s been doing.

With that, you sigh and place your notebook on the coffee table right in front of you. Plopping back into the plush, almost cloudlike cushions of the couch. 

“Tired of me, already?” Jay poked, eyes looking over at you briefly before falling back onto the screen. 

You smiled, “Never,” He didn’t respond. Not verbally, at least. But his eyes lingered on you for a second longer this time. Just a flicker of a glance, like he heard more than what you said. Or maybe you imagined that. You shifted, suddenly aware of how his sweatpants pooled a little too comfortably around your thighs. How warm the couch was. How warm he was, just a few feet away.

The documentary droned on in the background, but your thoughts were no longer tracking anything remotely educational. The quiet between you was heavy again—but not awkward. Just…thick. Like honey.You fought the urge to say something else, something stupid or clever, just to fill it. But instead, you closed your eyes. “I’m not gonna fall asleep,” you mumbled, mostly to yourself.

Jay’s voice was low and amused. “You already are.”

You sat up, rubbing your eyes. “You’re just boring.” You pout as you look around. “This big ass house and you don’t even utilize the space, or even—do you even—what do you do here, Jay?”

Jay didn’t answer right away. He reached for the remote, lowering the volume just a touch before setting it back down with precision—like everything he did was measured, controlled. He looked over at you, one brow slightly raised, a lazy half-smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. “I exist.”

You blinked. “That’s it? That’s your whole itinerary?”

He shrugged, leaning back against the couch. “I read. I cook. I clean. I work. I take care of myself. I sleep. I don’t need to fill every second of my day to prove I’m living.”

You narrowed your eyes. “So you’re boring on purpose.”

He chuckled—low and deep. “Or maybe you just don’t know how to sit still.”

Ouch.

You scoffed lightly, crossing your arms. “I can sit still.”

“Mm,” he hummed, clearly not convinced. “Then do it.”

It wasn’t a challenge, not really. Just a simple invitation, like he was offering you the calm he lived in every day. Daring you to match his stillness, to see if you could last. “You’re actually right,” You stood up and plopped right next to him on the sectional part on this massive couch. It was about the size of a queen size bed so both of you could fit there comfortably, but it didn’t take much to close the distance. “Still. I’m being still, still I am.” You cuddled one of the pillows to you as your eyes fell back to the TV and he raised the volume.

Jay didn’t look at you right away, but you saw the tiniest twitch at the corner of his mouth, like he was fighting a grin. He adjusted his leg slightly to give you a bit more room—not that you needed it, but he noticed anyway.

“Wow,” he said dryly. “An achievement. Gold star for staying still for fifteen seconds.” You nudged him with your shoulder, still hugging the pillow to your chest. “Give me a break. These are parts unknown. I don’t know how to…chill.”

He let out a soft breath—half sigh, half laugh. “That’s sad.”

You turned your head to look at him, eyes narrowing. “It’s not sad. I’m just used to chaos. To movement. Noise.”

“I know,” he said simply, eyes still on the screen. “That’s why I’m surprised you even asked to do this project on me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m the opposite of what you’re used to.”

The room fell into that thick, thoughtful silence again. Not awkward, just…weighty. Like everything between you two was slowly layering, brick by brick. And yet, you stayed exactly where you were. Still. Quiet. Unmoving. Not because you were trying to win, but because it felt strangely okay to be still with him.

You could hear your heartbeat in the silence—and his breath, steady, controlled, like he had nothing to prove and never did.

“I’m a cheerleader, it’s literally my job to have pep.” You smile as you look up at him, humored by him. 

Jay finally turned to look at you, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Yeah,” he said slowly, eyes scanning your face like he was seeing something new, “but you don’t have to perform here.”

That made your smile falter for just a second—not because it hurt, but because it hit. Quietly. Truthfully.

You blinked at him, your voice a little softer now. “What makes you think I’m performing?”Jay tilted his head a bit, resting it against the back of the couch. “You fill every room you walk into. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just…I don’t think you’ve ever really had the option not to.”

Your throat tightened just slightly, the way it does when someone clocks something about you that you hadn’t said out loud yet. You stared at the screen for a beat, though the documentary had long since faded into background noise.

“So what,” you said, trying to lighten it even as your voice stayed low. “You see through me now?”

Jay gave a small, amused breath. “No,” he said, almost shyly. “But I’ve been watching.”

He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t even trying to be intense. He just…was. Honest and low and matter-of-fact in a way that made your chest do something weird and clench-y.

You nudged his shoulder, “Hey,” laughing as you slowly edged closer to him. “That’s my job,” Jay’s lips twitched again, but he didn’t smile all the way. “Mm,” he hummed, eyes flicking back to the screen, though the weight of what he said still lingered in the air. “Guess I’m just trying to understand the person who keeps watching me.”

Usually, your problem is that you find and figure things out too late. But something about the words that he threw your way felt layered. Like they didn’t just mean one thing, something else was resting behind the words. 

This was very unusual with someone like Jay. Everything that he had to say was layered with fact and reason rather than allure and mystique. Not to beat a dead horse, but as pragmatic and objective as he is—it’s so weird to hear anything that could be interpreted as more than what it was. 

Though who he was made him even more attractive to you: you didn’t have to guess with Jay. He let you know how he felt, if he liked, if he didn’t, if he thought you were irritating him, you would know. 

He didn’t waste anyone’s time nor his own. Growing up with two entrepreneurs and businesspeople for parents, he learned at a very young age that time is money. And time—yours or someone else’s—is valuable. So he was very quick to let someone know what was going on. Never was anyone unsure of his stance on them or a situation. 

Except for you. One minute he was indifferent, the next he didn’t like you, now y’all are sort of friends. He was already so hot and cold and you could never guess with him.

You didn’t reply to it, just wanted to brush this under the rug. “I have an idea,”

He hummed, eyes still locked on the screen.

“How about we do things my way? Just for the day?”

Jay didn’t look at you right away. He let your question linger, absorbing it while the glow from the TV flickered across his face. “Your way,” he repeated slowly, not skeptical—just curious. “And what exactly does that entail? Glitter? Screaming? Matching outfits?”

You snorted. “Wow, okay, stereotype much?”

He gave a light shrug. “You’re the one with the pep.”

“Well,” you sat up straighter, a little smirk tugging at your lips. “Maybe a little glitter. Maybe a little chaos. Maybe…” You tilted your head, playful but with a flicker of sincerity, “...something simple for now. You won’t even have to leave the house.”

Jay finally turned to look at you, eyes catching yours in that calm, unreadable way he always had—but this time, there was something else there. A flicker of curiosity. Trust, maybe. Or at least the beginnings of it.

“Alright,” he said slowly, the faintest edge of a smile ghosting his lips. “I’ll bite. What’s your definition of simple?”

You grinned. “Let’s build a fort and watch Disney movies.” You shrugged, like it was such a great way to spend your Wednesday evening.

“I’m a grown man, I’m not watching Ariel and—”

You hold up your finger, “DCOMs, we’re watching those. I never said Disney Princess movies.”

He furrowed his brows, “What’s the difference?” 

He could laugh again at the look of disgust on your face. “I was more of a Cartoon Network kid, so…”

That threw you even more, “What?! You?! Park Jay?! Park Jongseong?!”

He held up his hand, now mirroring your repulsion, “Ew, don’t call me that.”

You laughed, “Sorry, but that just doesn’t make sense. It’s like,” you sit up to look at him. He was lying down partially and you were sitting up fully. So in some makeshift way, you were sitting above him and looking down at him as you spoke. “What you watched as a kid sort of…shapes you for the rest of your life. That’s because children are very impressionable. So a lot of adults that watched Disney Channel as kids tend to be a little peppier, a little witty in some cases, sometimes a little cynical.” You gestured around your hands as you ranted, Jay looking you in the eye as you did. Never wavering. “Meanwhile Cartoon Network kids grow up to be…class clownish, goofy, weird, but not weird-weird. More like…really niche and weird senses of humor because they grew up watching weird shows.” You smile, “Like Regular Show and Chowder are not for normal people. You kinda give me Disney XD, maybe Nickelodeon on a good day.”

As he watched you ramble he felt this strange thing called his heart soften. The way you went on about something as silly as children’s television made him rethink himself entirely. 

Your heart was genuinely so soft and pure.

Despite how cold and rude he’s been to you, you’re still so sympathetic and genuinely kind. Since then and his conversation with the guys, he knows how much of a dickhead he’s been. You had always tried to be his friend and he understood why—not always but—you guys had been in the same circle for years and it’d be weird to not make friends. But now that you had kind of used this project to get to know him…he was more grateful than you would think. Sunghoon was absolutely right, you really are great. Such a sweet girl at heart.

He was rude to you but you let it go, didn’t hold it against him, and still tried to bond with him. At least from his perspective, but the last session was the worst he’s felt about himself in a long time. Which is exactly why he’d been dialing it back. Not as snippy, smiled a little more, he just relaxed and it all wasn’t intentional.

Jay felt indebted to you and the only way he knew to repay you was to be nice. Ease up a bit. Plus, given the math and laptop thing, a huge part of him—the affectionate, good part of him doesn’t want to see anyone struggle if they don’t deserve it.

You sighed, the tiredness setting back in as you dropped onto your back beside him, the pillows cradling your head. “Anyway,”

Jay huffed a laugh through his nose—almost a real laugh. You smiled to yourself, eyes fluttering shut for just a second.

“Alright,” he said after a pause, voice quieter, more honest. “We can build the stupid fort.”

You peeked an eye open at him. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged like it was no big deal, but there was a softness around his eyes that betrayed him. “Could be worse ways to spend a Wednesday.”

Your smile was slow and bright, spreading across your face without even trying. And for the first time, maybe ever, Jay didn’t feel the instinct to roll his eyes or snap at you for it. He just let it happen—let you happen.

—

You clapped in glee as you eyed the massive, cushion-y fort you and Jay had put together.

It really was a masterpiece.

Layers of couch cushions, pillows, and throw blankets were stacked and draped over chairs and the sectional. A string of fairy lights Jay had begrudgingly dug out from some drawer wound around the makeshift walls, giving everything a soft, magical glow.

Jay stood with his arms crossed, surveying the chaos like he was trying very hard not to look impressed.

You turned to him, hands on your hips, beaming. “Admit it. You’re proud.”

He gave a noncommittal grunt, but his mouth twitched. “It’s…structurally sound. I’ll give you that.”

You gasped, clutching your chest. “High praise from Park Jongseong himself. I’m honored.”

“Stop calling me that,” he groaned, but there was no real bite to it.

Still grinning, you held up your hand signaling for him to wait a second. You scampered to your backpack to grab two adult coloring books, pencils, and markers. You flashed them in his direction in offering. 

Jay smiled, “Why do you have coloring books?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, why not? Ask the girl I was written by.”

Jay huffed a laugh through his nose, shaking his head as he took one of the coloring books from your hand.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said, flipping through the pages with the kind of quiet curiosity he didn’t bother hiding anymore.

“And you’re boring,” you teased lightly, plopping back down into the fort with a dramatic flump. “It’s so relaxing, watching movies and coloring.”

He smirked, low and fleeting, and settled in across from you. The two of you laid on your stomachs, the fairy lights casting soft halos around your heads as you both set to work, the markers squeaking faintly against the pages.

For a long time, it was just that—soft music from the movie, quiet coloring, the occasional bump of your legs when one of you shifted.

Jay found himself glancing over at you more often than he was coloring. The way your face scrunched up in concentration when you picked a color, the way you hummed under your breath when a song you liked came on.

He hadn’t realized how easy it was to be around you until right now—no pressure, no weird tension, just quiet company. Which he could never say no to.

You caught him looking once and made a silly face at him, sticking out your tongue. He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small, genuine laugh that escaped.

Somewhere in the middle of coloring a crooked sun in the corner of his page, he heard you yawn—a soft, muffled sound. When he looked over again, you had your head tucked into the crook of your arm, marker still loosely held between your fingers.

You blinked slowly, fighting it, but it was over before it even started. You drifted off, face relaxed and peaceful under the glow of the fairy lights.

Jay set his marker down carefully and just... watched you for a second. It was stupid how something this simple—this innocent—could hit him so hard.

The teen pop music from Starstruck still played in the background, and he almost hated to move, to ruin it.

But then his phone buzzed.

Sunghoon: “warzone?”

Jay groaned quietly to himself, dragging a hand over his face. He should wake you up. He should say something.

But you were so peaceful…your face was smushed against the pillow you leaned on. Your coily hair had fallen in your face as your plump lips stared back at him. How could he move you right now?

Instead...he tucked a throw blanket over you, the movement careful and clumsy all at once. He hesitated for half a second longer, then finally tore himself away.

—

Jay went upstairs to his room, leaving the door ajar subconsciously. He plopped down at his PC to load up with the guys. 

“So what y’all been up to today?” Heeseung says in the mic.

Jungwon sighed, “Some fuck ass group project. Tell me how all of my classes got cancelled today and I had a meeting with my group for the project. And I didn’t go because…duh, I had no classes.”

Jay furrowed his brows at the logic but let him talk nonetheless. 

“Then I get an email from my professor telling me that I haven’t been doing anything for the project. Like, dickhead I’ve been doing all the work!” 

They all laughed at his anger which probably wasn’t something they should’ve been doing. But regardless, none of them cared. It wasn’t like Jungwon cared either.

“I love making you guys feel like shit over your problems.” Jake sighed dreamily as he rushed through the map.

Sunghoon remarked, “I think you’re just a bad person.”

“That too,” Jay said, half-distracted. 

“Fuck you guys, anyway, Jay what did you do?” Jungwon smiled with a roll of his eyes. 

Jay hadn’t exactly told the guys that you were coming over at all. 

He paused, thumb hovering over the “Deploy” button as his teammates waited for his reply. He tapped his mic, clearing his throat. “I—um—she came over for the project. Said she had to observe me and whatnot so we just did that.”

Heeseung smirked, “Observed what exactly?” 

He wiped his eyes beneath his glasses as they were itchy. “Just me. We didn’t do much—” 

“Much?” Jungwon called out. 

“Yeah, I just watched a—”

“Watched?” Sunghoon and Jake chimed in.

Jay burst out, “Bitch stop interrupting me!” 

Laughter exploded through his headset, each one of his friends reveling in his rare outburst. Jay closed his eyes briefly, inhaling deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Y’all are so fucking annoying,” he muttered.

“Okay, okay, we’re listening,” Jake said, but Jay could hear the barely contained amusement in his voice. “Continue, Mr. Observed.”

Jay sighed, clicking through his inventory absentmindedly. “We just watched a movie and now she’s just taking a nap.”

Silence. Too much silence.

Then—

“A movie?” Sunghoon drawled, dragging out the word like he was savoring it. “What kind of movie?”

Jay hesitated.

Jake gasped. “Nah. Nahhh. Don’t tell me you let her make you watch—”

“Starstruck,” Sunghoon cut in, deadpan. “You watched Starstruck, didn’t you?”

The silence stretched for a half-second too long.

Jay closed his eyes. “Shut up.”

Chaos erupted.

“No fucking way!” Jake howled. “That’s crazy! You—Park ‘I Only Watch Documentaries and War Films’ Jay—sat through Starstruck?”

“I’m sick,” Sunghoon wheezed. “Like, physically ill.”

“I need a second,” Heeseung said between laughs. “I can’t—”

Jay let them get it out of their system, clicking his tongue as he loaded up another round as he had died. They weren’t even playing together at this point, just playing at the same time. “You guys act like I haven’t done worse things.”

“Yeah, but this is so—random,” Jungwon wheezed. “Like, were you actually paying attention or were you just sitting there?”

Jay opened his mouth, closed it, then frowned. “It wasn’t that bad.”

Another wave of hysteria hit them.

Jake gasped. “Wait. Did you like it?”

“I tolerated it,” Jay corrected.

“No, bro, you liked it,” Sunghoon shot back. “Say it.”

Jay rolled his shoulders, his lips twitching. He wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction. “I’m focusing on the game.”

Heeseung laughed, “No, that girl will fall asleep standing up if you let her.”

Jake wiped fake tears. “I love this timeline. First, you’re buying mystery laptops, now you’re watching childhood rom-coms with her, bruh? What’s next? Matching pajamas?”

Jay froze, “Wait, what?” His hands froze on his keyboard and mouse. 

He hadn’t told anyone about his deeds, the notes nor the laptop. Mainly out of fear of judgment, shame because that meant that some part of him liked you. But also because of the guilt of how he treated you and Jay wasn’t necessarily an affectionate person. 

He just didn’t want to draw attention to himself, nor scare you off. Even though this situation could be considered stalking or maybe something that could make someone uncomfortable.

But if Jay didn’t know anything, he knew Jake. He knew that Jake was as nosy as a Toucan Sam and once he found something to sink his perfectly aligned teeth into, he wasn’t going to stop until he found out what he needed to.

“Don’t play dumb, I know.” He could practically hear the smirk in Jake’s voice.

Jay’s hands started shaking a bit, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But of course, he tried to play it cool.

Jake snorted, “Yeah okay, and I’m the President.”

“Bro, for real, what are you talking about?” Jay pressed, voice steady but his knee was bouncing so hard under the desk he thought the floor might give out.

There was a pause—long enough for Jay’s anxiety to spike—then Jake spoke, casual, too casual.

“She told us in our group chat—”

Jungwon perked up, “Y’all have a group chat?!” He gaped at the new information, “Add me please!”

Heeseung brushed him off, “Shut up,”

Jungwon smacked his teeth, “I’ll get her soon, trust.”

Jake rolled his eyes, “No you won’t,”

Jay also laughed to himself, “Aren’t you like sixteen?”

Jungwon groaned in exasperation. “I’m two years younger than you guys, chill. Plus, young guys do it the best.”

Sunghoon sighed, “Jake, you were saying.”

Jake leaned in closer, lips to the mic. “Thank you,” he backed away. “Anyway, in the group chat she literally had a breakdown and threatened arson on Decelis because of her broken laptop. Like two days later, she somehow gets a brand new—better laptop with cute ass accessories? Especially when she was telling us how she couldn’t afford to buy a new one.”

The rest of them, sans Jay, hummed in understanding. 

Jay was still refuting all claims, “That doesn’t prove it was me, I didn’t do that shit.”

Jake smacked his teeth, “Bro, we didn’t do it. I damn sure didn’t. Literally I saw her the other day, like a day after she got it and she told me she had to go into her savings to buy a new one. Which I know was a lie.”

Heeseung interjected, “How would you know?”

Sunghoon chimed in, now putting the pieces together. “Because if she had the money she wouldn’t have complained about not being able to afford a new one. Whining about the inconvenience, yeah that makes sense. But she would’ve just replaced it that same or next day.”

Heeseung hummed, “Yeah, that makes sense. She wouldn’t have gone without if she knew she could just get a new one immediately. Her mood was horrible for the entire two days she didn’t have it.”

Jay stayed silent, his throat dry. His friends’ casual deductions were piecing everything together too cleanly, too quickly.

“And not just any laptop, either,” Jake said, practically grinning through the mic. “A fucking Macbook Air with the custom shit, bro. Like, pink keyboard cover, matching case, cute little charms—”

Heeseung cut in, “Wait, charms? Like, keychain charms?”

“No, dumbass,” Jake said, laughing. “Laptop charms. Like a lil’ matching aesthetic.”

Sunghoon whistled. “Yeah, nah. That’s intentional.”

Heeseung agreed, “You don’t accidentally buy that kind of shit unless you’re trying to impress.”

“Or if someone feels guilty…” Jungwon mumbled off-handedly.

Jay’s heart punched against his ribs so hard he almost couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation.

Guilty. That sounded about right.

He flexed his fingers on the mouse, willing his hand to stop shaking. His throat tightened like he’d swallowed a stone.

Heeseung must’ve caught on to the tension because he went, “Damn. It’s that serious?” He wasn’t there for the conversation about what he had said to you during y’alls last session. But Sunghoon had filled him in and needless to say, Jay definitely got another earful from him.

Saying someone should ‘get better at begging’ after talking about economic disparities, wasn’t exactly something that could brag about. And the fact that you were still nice to him after that only added salt to the wound. 

If he didn’t feel bad then something was definitely wrong with him, more so than what was already.

But at this point, his pride was entirely too much to admit that some part of him liked you. Even before this, he thought you were out of his league. Intimidating. And the only way he could combat the budding interest in you was by acting uninterested. 

So he couldn’t stop now. 

The silence on Jay’s end stretched on, suffocating, but he forced out a scoff, light and dismissive. “You guys sound insane.”

Sunghoon snorted, “If we’re insane, it’s because you drove us there with your denial.”

Jake chuckled lowly. “Just admit it, man. It’s not even a bad thing.”

Jay clicked around idly, pretending to load his next weapon loadout, pretending he wasn’t breaking out in a cold sweat. “There’s nothing to admit.”

Heeseung’s voice softened a little, losing some of its usual teasing edge. “You don’t gotta lie to us, bro. You’re allowed to like somebody, you know.”

Jay pressed his tongue against the back of his teeth, swallowing words that felt too heavy to say out loud. Like somebody. That sounded so…simple. Easy.

But it wasn’t. Not for him.

Because liking you came with consequences. With vulnerabilities he wasn’t ready to show. With guilt for every sharp word, every dismissive glance, every time he chose to push you away instead of pulling you closer.

Jungwon piped up again, voice thoughtful. “Honestly, if you did get her the laptop, that’s, like…one of the nicest things I’ve ever seen you do.”

As Jay heard them all politic and conspire around him, anger grew in the pit of his stomach. “I told you I didn’t do it. And I don’t like her like that. You guys spent like twenty minutes badgering me to admit that she’s hot and I told you she was but she’s not my type and I wouldn’t waste money on some peppy, desperate cheerleader.”

The call fell silent and tension grew in the air at Jay’s outburst. Even though they couldn’t see each other, Jake nodded with a defeated sigh. He knew better than to take heed to anything that Jay was saying right now. He was trying more so to convince himself rather than them. So he let it go. 

Though unbeknownst to any of them, you were walking up the stairs to find Jay and were made privy to his words. 

You froze at the top of the stairs.

You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop—you hadn’t even realized you could hear them until it was already too late. Until the words had already ripped through you.

I wouldn’t waste money on some peppy, desperate cheerleader.

Your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag before you even realized you were moving.

Not running—that would’ve looked desperate.

Not crying—that would’ve given him too much.

Just…packing up. Quiet, mechanical. Like you were never there in the first place.

You could still hear them upstairs, muffled and awkward now, but you tuned it all out, your heart pounding in your ears as you shoved your laptop, charger, coloring books, pencils, markers into your tote. Your jacket slipped on and the sweats he gave you now folded neatly on the couch as yours were already on.

You didn’t have a ride, but you didn’t care. You just needed to get away before you embarrassed yourself further.

The door clicked shut behind you, soft and final.

And then you were walking. Down the driveway, past the cars, past the basketball hoop, past the old street lamps humming in the early evening air. You didn’t even check your phone until you were three blocks away, until you were sure nobody was going to come after you.

Even though, deep down, you already knew he wouldn’t.

—

At first, Jay didn’t notice.

The game restarted. His headset buzzed with chatter. He wiped his palms on his own sweats and leaned back in his chair, trying to shove down the ugly feeling clawing up his throat.

“Whatever,” he muttered under his breath.

He figured you were still downstairs, maybe still napping.

And when Heeseung joked, “Damn, she’s still asleep?”

“Not sure, let me check.” He ripped the headset off without a word and jogged down the stairs, two at a time. Then made a right to the living room.

Empty.

The fort was no more, your stuff was gone, the pants he’d lent you folded beautifully on the couch. You even put their chairs used for the fort back to their original place.

It was like you had erased yourself.

Jay’s heart stuttered.

“No way,” he breathed, turning in a slow circle, like maybe he’d missed you somehow. Like maybe you were hiding. “No, no, no, no—”

He rushed to the window, throwing the curtain aside. Nothing. Street empty. No car. No you.

A cold sweat broke out across his back.

He sprinted to the door, ignoring how loud his stomping was and yanked open the front door, stepping out into the street barefoot. His eyes scanned everywhere, frantic.

But you were gone.

Gone.

And all at once, the weight of what he said—what you heard—crashed over him. The ugly words he had thrown out to save face.

To protect himself.

And he realized, sickly, that protecting himself had cost him the one thing he hadn’t even let himself want until now.

You.

—

As he went back into his house, sullen and gloomy as ever—game long forgotten. Jay went to scan the living room one more time, just hoping that you would appear. Maybe you were just pranking him, that’s something you would do.

He plopped down on the couch, looking around and sighed painfully. Covering his eyes with his hands as it took everything in him to not demolish everything in this room. 

But no, he had more self-control than that. 

Jay gathered himself, scanned the room one more time and his eyes fell on your journal. 

Jay’s eyes flicked back to your journal on the coffee table. It sat innocently there, untouched, a silent witness to everything that had just happened. His heart pounded with an unsettling mixture of guilt, curiosity, and frustration.

He had no right to open it. None at all. But as the minutes passed, the pull to understand you more—to fix this somehow—grew unbearable. His fingers twitched, itching for something to give him the answers he couldn’t seem to find on his own.

What had you been writing in there? Was it about him? Was he the villain in your story now? He sure felt like it.

With a heavy sigh, Jay leaned forward, grabbing the journal. His mind screamed at him to stop, to just put it back where it belonged, but his hands had already opened the first page.

The handwriting was neat, beautiful even, but there was an undeniable rawness to it—words that weren't meant for anyone else to read. He couldn’t stop himself. His eyes skimmed the first few lines, and something heavy settled in his chest.

“He told me I should get better at begging.”

Jay froze. His breath hitched. The words were simple, but the weight of them hit him like a punch to the gut. He didn’t even want to recall that day, but it seemed like it was all he could think of these days.

He kept reading, each line pulling him deeper into your mind. Your pain was written in stark black ink—raw, honest.

“I don’t understand why he keeps pushing me away. Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, he pulls back. But it’s like he doesn’t even care. I just don’t get it. Why does he act like I’m not worth his time? Maybe it’s because I’m used to getting attention that I just don’t know how to act when I’m dismissed?”

The words stung. Jay had never thought of himself as someone who could hurt people. But now, reading this, he realized just how much damage he’d caused without even realizing it. He wasn’t the same person he’d thought he was.

“I miss the days when I didn’t care what people thought of me. Now, it’s like every time I see him, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, hoping he’ll look at me, talk to me, not act like I’m invisible. Am I too much? Or am I not enough?”

Jay shut his eyes for a moment, the weight of your words crushing him. He felt like he was drowning in all the things he’d never noticed, all the things he’d pushed aside in favor of hiding behind his pride.

The journal seemed endless, each entry within the last few weeks about him or about things he’d never even seen. But one thing was clear: you had been hurting for far longer than he’d ever realized. You weren’t the peppy cheerleader he’d always dismissed. You were someone who had quietly endured every time he pushed you away, every time he made you feel like you weren’t worth his attention.

Beneath the shell, you were just a girl that wanted to be validated. 

Beneath the stunning, gorgeous shell of you, there was just a little girl that wasn’t told she was enough. And he hadn’t even cared enough to ask or pay more attention.

He swallowed hard, unable to continue. His fingers were trembling, the journal still open in his hands.

But there was something else, something that caught his eye. A final entry that was left today:

“I’m observing Jay today, and he’s being nice and it’s kinda freaking me out. But he’s being his typical, geeky self and watching some documentary and I’ll say it is interesting. But his home is very beautiful, very him. A part of me feels like I don’t deserve to be here. But I know that he’s been so mean to me for no good reason, but I’ve still tried to be nice. “Being mean doesn’t get you anywhere” daddy always says. So I’ve tried to be respectful, which I think I’ve done a nice job of. As much as this is just one person, I really do want him to like me. Some parts of me want to just say fuck him and that he doesn’t matter. But I also wanna fuck him so it does matter.”

Jay cracks a smile at this, but he decides to keep reading.

“Seriously though, he seems to be a great friend to the other guys. I just wish for one day where he can be good to me.”

Jay felt his breath catch in his throat. This was it. The final blow.

It wasn’t just about the laptop. It was about all the moments he’d let you down, brushed you off, all the ways he’d treated you as disposable. He had been so focused on pushing his feelings down, so convinced that he needed to guard himself, that he’d never noticed how much you were giving just to stay close to him.

And now, as he sat there, holding your journal with the weight of all his mistakes pressing down on him, he realized that he had nothing left to protect. Not anymore.

The journal slipped from his hands, landing softly on the table. Jay ran his hands through his hair, his thoughts spiraling.

Jay sat there, the weight of the journal in his lap. His fingers were still trembling, but now it wasn’t from the act of reading. It was from the shame, the sudden suffocating realization that he had done this to you. That he was the one who had been unkind, who had kept you at arm’s length while you silently endured.

A hollow feeling spread through him, worse than any disappointment or anger he’d ever known. It was the feeling of finally understanding the damage he’d caused, of realizing that he’d been blind to something so painfully obvious. He had dismissed you as just another part of his world to ignore, never once stopping to wonder why you might be so desperate for his attention.

He could still hear your voice in his head. The little things you’d said over the past few weeks, the hints he had brushed off. The way you made the effort to show kindness, even when it wasn’t reciprocated.

“Maybe it’s because I’m used to getting attention that I just don’t know how to act when I’m dismissed?” Those words echoed in his mind, and the guilt twisted harder.

He had always been caught up in his own world, too proud, too distant to even ask you how you were really doing. He was so absorbed in his own insecurities, in his self-imposed walls, that he never bothered to notice yours.

And now...now, it was too late. He had let this slip through his fingers.

The entry about him being “nice” to you hit like a punch to the gut. He could see it—you trying to make the best of a situation where he was cruel. And yet, despite everything, you still wanted him to like you.

He had seen the cracks in you, but had he ever tried to help fill them? No. He had been too wrapped up in his pride, in his need to keep distance.

With a low curse under his breath, Jay ran his hand through his hair again, standing up abruptly. He couldn’t sit here anymore. He needed to do something, anything, to stop this feeling from crushing him entirely.

But what could he do? What could he even say?

The room was too quiet. The silence hung heavy between him and everything he had just discovered. He had been the one pushing you away. He had been the one making you feel invisible.

He looked at the journal one last time. A small part of him wanted to close it, to forget about it, but the rest of him knew that was no longer an option. He couldn’t keep pretending this was someone else’s fault.

The answer was simple, but it felt impossible.

He had to apologize.

—

Jay spent the rest of the night replaying the journal entry in his head. The weight of what he’d read crushed him, but it also woke something up in him—something that had been buried beneath his pride and self-protection. He knew that he needed to change. Not for anyone else, but for you, and for himself.

The next day, he found himself standing outside your 10:30 class. It wasn’t planned. He hadn’t figured out the right words yet. He just...knew he couldn’t stay in the same place anymore. With his heart hammering, he waited for everyone to file out. His mind raced, but luckily he was tall enough to be able to see everyone, then his eyes landed on you and he hurriedly approached you. Stopping in front of you and not caring if he had bumped into other people. 

You let out a grunt at the thud that your shoulder had made with his firm chest. But you had quickly gripped your tablet that was in danger of falling, but luckily your reflexes won. You looked up to see a tall man with glasses and dark hair, oh…him. “Jay, what the fuck?” You rubbed your sensitive shoulder. Doing the sport that you do, you’re no stranger to taking a few tumbles. But his chest might as well have been made of steel.

He held up his hands in panic, “Sorry!” 

The tension in the air was thick, and Jay immediately regretted the way he’d approached you, but there was no turning back now. He could feel the rush of anxiety in his chest, but he forced himself to stand firm, his gaze locking with yours.

“I didn’t mean to...I just…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence. The words he had rehearsed a thousand times in his head felt foreign now, his mouth dry, and his heart hammering.

You eyed him suspiciously, still holding your tablet close. He could see the mixture of confusion and frustration in your expression. You were trying to keep your cool, but it was obvious something was off.

“What do you want?” You asked, your voice firm, and Jay felt a pang of guilt deep in his gut. You didn’t trust him anymore—he’d made sure of that.

Jay exhaled sharply, his hands running through his hair in frustration. He could see the way you were holding yourself, trying to keep your distance. And damn it, he deserved it. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

“I—um…” He played with the hem of his form-fitting black long-sleeve. Trying to work up the courage to speak, or even look you in the eye. 

You sighed, “I can’t do this with you right now, I have a class in fifteen minutes and it’s all the way on the south-end of campus. If you’ll excuse me,” You said as you brushed past him.

Jay watched you step away, the gentle sound of your footsteps against the pavement echoing in his ears. His heart clenched. He had expected this—shit, he deserved it—but that didn’t make it any easier. He watched you for a moment, conflicted, as you began to walk toward the next building.

What if this was it? What if you never gave him a chance to fix anything?

The thought hit him like a punch to the chest.

Before he could stop himself, he was moving again, this time with more urgency in his steps. He hated the way his own hesitation had kept him from being the person he needed to be before. He hated how many times he had let you down.

“Wait!” Jay called out, his voice louder than before, his pulse racing in his throat.

You didn’t stop. But there was a slight pause in your stride. He saw it. He wasn’t sure if it was out of curiosity or frustration, but it was there.

He took it as a sign.

Jay quickened his pace until he was beside you again, walking beside you as you left out of the building, still unsure how to breach the gap he’d created between you two. He swallowed, trying to steady his nerves. “Look, I—I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even stop them. “I know I’ve been a jerk to you. And I know I’ve made everything worse, but I...I just need you to hear me out.”

You stopped walking, but you looked at him with complete disgust. Jay retracted a bit as he saw the look in your eye. He’d never seen you look at anyone like that ever. Unless it was a smile, laugh, or maybe a playful glare at Jake then anything else seemed like foreign terrain. He could feel the weight of your silence pressing on him, but he didn’t back off.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I know you don’t even want to talk to me right now,” Jay continued, feeling the frustration and desperation in his words. “But I read something I shouldn’t have. I said something I shouldn’t have. And I’m not here to make excuses. I just...I need you to know that I’m sorry for all of it. For pushing you away. For acting like you didn’t matter when you did. And I hate that I made you feel invisible.”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t even move.

“I don’t expect anything from you,” he added quickly, his voice cracking slightly. “But I need to be better, for you...and for me. And I get it if you don’t want to talk. I know I don’t deserve it. But I just couldn’t leave without saying this.”

He reached into his backpack, shuffling through it frantically as if he were afraid you’d walk away mid sentence. Eventually, he pulls out your journal and your eyes widen at the fact that he read your own private thoughts. 

You snatch it from him, even though the damage had already been done. He read it already, but somehow you felt that holding it to your chest would magically erase the words he’d read. 

In any other case Jay would be irritated that someone had snatched something from him. But couldn’t even utter a word, he just stood there—as resigned as he could be. Nonetheless, he gestured to the book. “In case you were wondering…I bought the laptop.”

You already had an inkling, but the fact that you were getting confirmation had made your heart drop to your stomach. A knot forming there and in your throat as you were at a loss for words. You still weren’t able to speak. 

“The invoice is in there if you don’t believe me. And I gave you the math notes too.” 

Your grip on the journal tightened, but the weight of it felt unbearable in your hands. You were still reeling from the fact that he had read your private thoughts, your most personal reflections, and yet here he was—standing in front of you, holding out a piece of your life like some kind of... offering.

A slow wave of disbelief washed over you, and for a moment, you could only stare at the journal in your hands, as if hoping the pages would disappear. Or that the situation would change—just reverse itself.

Jay didn’t move. He stood there, waiting for your reaction, but the silence between you was suffocating. He had just broken something. He had crossed a line he couldn’t uncross, and you knew, deep down, that it wasn’t just about the journal. It was about everything that had led to this moment. All the little things. The moments he pulled away. The things he didn’t say. The things he didn’t care enough to notice.

You couldn’t even look at him. You didn’t want to. You weren’t sure if you could. The tension in the air was thick, like you were standing at the edge of something you weren’t ready to face yet.

The silence dragged on, and Jay shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I—uh, I wasn’t sure how to tell you all of it, but the invoice...it’s in there,” he said quietly, his voice hesitant, almost unsure. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I just wanted to help.”

Your voice came out, raw and nearly obsolete. “Why?”

He groaned as he put his head in his hands, his rings glimmering in the sunlight. “The notes, it—I’ve always liked you. This feeling I couldn’t explain—just…attraction. And one day, I was in the cafe and I overheard you speaking to your mom about you having trouble with math. I had taken the class before so I just thought giving you my notes would help. I felt bad because I couldn’t not do anything. So I just printed them out and attached your email. That’s it.”

Tears started to mist your eyes, clutching your book and tablet closer to your chest. “The laptop?”

Jay was quick to explain, “After our first session, I had hurt you really badly with that ‘begging’ comment. I still haven’t apologized to you for that and I’m sorry but, you came on the chat and you were really upset. I thought it was just my way to give back to you.” He stepped forward, putting a small distance between you. To which you were nailed right to where you stood. You were too shaken to move.

The air between you two was thick with the weight of his words, the confession, the apology—and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to let go of the journal. It felt like the only thing keeping you tethered to something solid in the storm that had suddenly engulfed you.

You couldn’t speak for a long time, your throat tight, your chest aching with the conflicting emotions that swirled inside you. Jay was still standing there, his body tense, eyes searching your face as if he could find a way to undo everything he’d done.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he continued softly, his voice breaking just slightly. “I never meant to cross any lines. I thought I could make it right, but I see now... that maybe all I’ve done is make things worse.”

His words felt like a quiet admission of guilt, and for a moment, you just stood there, unable to reconcile what he was saying with the hurt that still lingered inside you. All those moments, all those interactions—you felt as though they were being rewritten in this very instant. Could you forgive him for everything that had built up to this?

You squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath, and when you opened them again, you finally spoke, your voice shaky but filled with the weight of everything you had been holding back.

“Why didn’t you just...talk to me?” you asked quietly, the pain of the question evident in your tone. “Why did you have to hide behind these...gestures? Why did you think giving me things would fix everything?”

Jay flinched at your words, guilt flashing across his face. “I didn’t know how to talk to you. I thought—I thought I could do something to show you I cared without saying it. I’m not good with words. I’m not good at explaining myself, and I’ve always been good at running from things instead of facing them. But I know now that I’ve been running from this, from you. And I can’t do that anymore.”

You smile bitterly, “So you call me perky and desperate to your friends.”

He shook his head, “No, no, no—”

“Don’t try to deny it, I heard you. You said ‘I wouldn’t waste money on some peppy, desperate cheerleader.’ That came out of your mouth, Jay.” You looked away from him. 

“I’m not trying to deny it. I did say that—I was—” He sighed, closing his eyes to get a hold of himself. “The guys kept bothering me about the laptop and I just wanted them to st—”

You laughed bitterly, this sent something through you. “So a simple ‘I didn’t do it’ would have sufficed. But no, you always have to go for the jugular don’t you?”

“Please, I didn’t—”

You held up your hand, “No, Jay. If you wanted to keep it a secret then that’s fine, it doesn’t make me a fucking difference. But not at my expense.” You slowly back up, “Since you read my fucking journal, I guess there’s no secrets so I don’t have anything to hide anymore. But I’m so done with getting you to like me. I will not be weighed down by this anymore and it’s not even your fault. It’s me, I won’t hold you accountable for my insecurities but I will be damned if I let any man make me feel like I’m not the baddest bitch walking.” You ball your fist that settled on your journal in your hand. “I’ll finish the project with what I have, I’ll leave you alone. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Jay.” 

The words hit Jay like a punch to the gut. Each one cut deeper than he could have anticipated, and his stomach twisted with regret. He opened his mouth to respond, but every time he tried to speak, his words stuck. There was no defense, no justification that could make this right. He had hurt you, plain and simple.

You were fierce, no denying that. Your words were sharp, but they weren’t meant to tear him apart—no, they were meant to protect yourself. And Jay knew it. He had pushed you to this point.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. But even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t undo what he’d done, couldn’t erase the damage.

But you weren’t waiting for his apologies anymore. You were standing there, eyes fierce, jaw set, making it clear that you were done.

“Goodbye, Jay.” Your voice was steady now, cold even, and the finality in it made Jay’s chest tighten with something heavier than guilt.

You turned away from him, the journal still clutched tightly in your hand, and he stood frozen. He wanted to call after you, to beg you not to leave, but he couldn’t find the strength to move. He knew it was over. And he knew that this time, you were walking away for good.

He watched you go, each step you took like a door closing that he would never be able to open again.

And in the silence that followed, Jay realized that the worst part wasn’t the apology he hadn’t given or the damage he had done. It was the fact that he had made you feel so small, so desperate for his attention, that you had to pull away completely just to hold onto yourself.

It was his fault.

For the first time, he understood what it meant to truly lose someone.

-

part 2

Copyright: © zorange13. 2025. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Random Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know, Part 52

Sorry for the long wait! I got a bit distracted with the new series...

The biofields on Gallifrey are so active that they can keep non-Gallifreyans young. For example, Leela had not aged even after 25 years on Gallifrey. (Audio: Spirit)

The Tenth Doctor recalled that Jamie McCrimmon used to hide the Second Doctor's recorder from him. (Comic: The Forgotten)

The TARDIS chose a name for herself but never told anyone (including the Doctor) what it was. (Short story: Toy Story)

By some accounts, the First Doctor was unaware of Sol prior to running away from Gallifrey. On the other hand, Susan had learned about the solar system and the planet Earth in the classes she took on spatial cartography. (Audio: The Beginning)

The Forge salvaged a Gallifreyan sarcophagus, which is a type of hibernation unit. When the Seventh Doctor, Ace, and Hex opened it, they found an older version of the Doctor inside. (Audio: A Death in the Family)

The Seventh Doctor kept a calendar keeping track of when his friends would die, which is how he knew about Evelyn. (Audio: A Death in the Family)

The Third Doctor possessed an obedience spray. When he used it, he could make people follow his orders. (Comic: Undercover)

The First Doctor used to skip class at the Academy to practice juggling and yo-yoing. (Novel: Match of the Day)

John Smith - an amnesiac Decayed Master - once treated the Seventh Doctor, removing his clothes after they had been charred by a lightning strike and wrapping him in wet towels to ease the pain. Feeling that the Doctor could help restore his memories, John Smith fell into a reverie next to the Doctor and forgot about his other guests at the time. He gave the Doctor water when he woke up and warned him not to move because of the physical trauma he had gone through. (Audio: Master)

When a Time Lord truly goes mad, a part of their mind becomes lost, referred to as Dark Design. This unleashes the dark part of their minds. Those affected by Dark Design are hidden away in institutions. (Novel: Falls the Shadow)

This Dark Design is a true evil within the very DNA of Time Lords. While unaffected Time Lords effectively stabilize space-time, a Time Lord suffering from Dark Design might have the effect of changing the future and the past like a virus. (Novel: The Infinity Doctors)

Dark Design is a lot more intense than Time Lord Insanity and enters mental spaces unfathomable to other species. (Novel: SLEEPY)

Omega was affected by Dark Design and as a result was able to summon an embodiment of his dark side. (Short story: A History of the Universe; TV: The Three Doctors)

The Seventh Doctor had met no sufferers of Dark Design native to his time. However, he knew of possible futures where he would become affected. (Novel: Falls the Shadow)

The above points are particularly interesting when you take into account several incidents in DW Canon. For one, the Master said, "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you. The Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say you do not improve with age." Furthermore, the Doctor’s dark side was once again manifested later on as the Dream Lord. There was an additional manifestation of the Doctor’s darkness (or, the weak, insecure, lonely aspect) somewhat dormant in the Sixth's subconsciousness. (TV: The Ultimate Foe, Amy's Choice; Audio: The Widow's Assassin)

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[themultifandomgal]

Hi. firstly, I love your writing style. secondly, I was wondering if you could write something about Chicago Fire (maybe Kelly or Matt) where the reader their S/O is a professional baker/chef and spoils the fire house rotten with food/sweets.

Kelly Severide- Baker

All my life I have been baking. I learn from my nan who used to look after me during school holidays while my parents had to work. My mom is a nurse and my dad is a police officer. This means I was very close to my nan until she passed away. I then decided to go to university to complete a course in hospitality and catering, then I progressed to a certificate in baking. Then finally I managed to buy property to have my own bakery, named after my nan.

At the end of the day I often have left over cakes, pastries, bread and other sweet treats. So instead of throwing them away I may give them to the homeless or anyone else who may be in need of a pick me up. But I alway make sure that there are some left over for firehouse 51, which is where my boyfriend Kelly Severide works.

I walk into the firehouse holding a box of cupcakes and some fresh bread.  Immediately I'm being greeted by my boyfriend and some of the firemen

"Evenin YN" capp nods towards me

"Good evening boys" I kiss Kelly on the cheek then he guides me to the kitchen where everyone else is "hey everyone. I've got some left overs if any of you are interested" I open the box lid up

"This is why your the best girlfriend Severide has ever had" Otis' eyes widen as he walks over to me and goes to take a cake. Kelly gives him a nudge as if to say 'watch it'

"Ah ah ah not so fast at least let me put them down first"

"They look delicious YN"

"When don't they?" Sylvie responds to Gabby .

Later that evening Kelly takes me home

"You know I don't think I've ever had cake as good as you make it. My mom was never much of a baker"

"When I bake it reminds me of my Nan. It's like she's there with me. I want our kids to have a childhood like mine where we bake in the kitchen and then go outside and play in the mud while we wait for every thing to cool"

"Our kids?" Kelly says wrapping his arm around my waist

"Yes. Don't tell me you haven't thought bout it"

"Of course I have, but I just wasn't expecting it to come out of your mouth so casually" there's a bit of a pause as I think how to respond, but Kelly beats me to it "you say you want our kids to bake a lot. So do you think you could teach me how to?"

"Of course!" I say with a wide smile "I'm not at the shop tomorrow if you want to come over?"

"Can't wait. I'll see you tomorrow then" Kelly kisses my check then walks away as I open up my front door.

The next dayKelly shows up and we start weighing out ingredients

"Now you need to add the eggs" I tell him who picks them up and goes to crack them on the side of the bowl "wait actually crack them in here" I put a spare bowl in front of Kelly "just in case of egg shells"

"Do you not trust me?" Kelly raises his eyebrows at me

"Honestly no. Now come on. We need three eggs, chop chop"

"Your bossy when your in the kitchen" he chuckles

"You want to make a cake or not?" I place my hands on my hips

"Ok ok I get it" Kelly attempts to crack an egg but it ends up going everywhere

"Good job I put a separate bowl down wasn't it?" I smile at Finn "watch and learn my love" I take the eggs from Kelly and crack them in the bowl with ease "ok you can stir, but..." I'm not able to tell him to be careful because flour ends up all over the both of us "go slowly"

"Never heard you say that before" I give Kelly an annoyed look "oh come on YN. It's me, did you really think that teaching me to make a cake would be smooth sailing?"

"No I guess not" I begin to smile.

A few days later I arrive at the fire house with Kelly who proudly places a cake down on the kitchen table

"She's don't it again! There's more cakes and biscuits!" Gabby yells which causes everyone to run over and grab something. Matt bites into one and scrunches his face up, but then tries to hide it

"Hmm, you tried a new.. recipe?" Otis asks coughing during his sentence. I giggle and shake my head

"No these were made by Kelly"

"Oh thank god" Matt breathes out "thought you'd lost your touch. No offence Severide but these are horrible"

"Oh come on they're not that bad... are they?" Kelly looks at me

"Don't worry love your still learning. If you guys have some ingredients I'll make some biscuits now while I'm here" I offer to which everyone replies with a yes.

[thekulemiverse]

KULEMIVERSE | Death of a Legend AU

Ava Vernon

Yakuza: Death of a Legend (or DOAL) is a project that’s been in the works on and off for about 3 years or so! It’s meant to follow Masato Aizawa (protagonist) after the events in Yakuza 5 (2012). It opens with Aizawa in captivity as a prisoner of the Tojo Clan as they beat and torture him after finding him passed out in the snow. After what may have been a few days, he’s then detained during a police raid of the building he’s held at. 

Aizawa is tried and found guilty for the murder of the legend, Kazuma Kiryu and is imprisoned in a maximum security prison until he’s delivered a suspicious letter written by an unnamed character claiming to have pulled enough strings to have his 17-year sentence commuted. 

The story then picks up about 3 years later (2016) when Aizawa is released from prison. Outside, he’s congratulated by a well dressed man heavily cloaked in dark clothing and a strange mask seemingly equipped with a voice modulator. There is also a well dressed woman there beside him. The man introduces himself simply as Kagari. He claims to be the reason behind Aizawa’s release, making the man indebted to him and as such, he owed him a “conversation”. 

Intrigued but mostly confused, Aizawa agrees and they drive him to a high rise building in Saitama. There, the man suddenly challenges Aizawa to a no holds barred contest with the condition that if Aizawa wins he would reveal his identity and if he lost, he’d kill the convict himself. 

Aizawa holds his own, though the match ends in a tie by way of exhaustion, and the man remarks that he had a long way to go before he could have taken out a man like Kiryu, and Aizawa thoughtfully admits that Kiryu had practically said just as much himself. Kagari then tells him that he’d known since he sent that letter that he was innocent but he had to see for himself if he deserved such a credit– he didn’t think so. 

He admits that he’s been investigating since he heard the news and had some ideas as to who was behind this, but he unfortunately needed Aizawa in order to get to the bottom of it. Without hesitation, Aizawa agrees, citing his refusal to continue to take credit for a fight he lost. He was too prideful to live that sort of lie.

From then on, Kagari and his seemingly infinite resources become an important asset in finding out who actually killed Kiryu and who would have wanted to have him framed for it.

Just some background info!

◈ The Masked Man/Kagari is the pseudonym that Akira Nishikiyama uses after surviving the explosion at Ares in 2005. 

◈ The Kulemiverse version of DOAL takes place from 2016-2019. Kagari/Nishikiyama is 48-51. Aizawa is 36-39. Ava is 28-31. While actual DOAL takes place in a span of about 6-7 months between 2016-2017.

◈ The DOAL universe hops between 3 different maps: Kamurocho (Tokyo), Okinawa & Kawazumi (Gunma). Kawazumi was created for the purpose of this project and is lightly based on Oizumi in the Gunma prefecture.

◈ The character known now as Ava Vernon was an unnamed background character in the actual DOAL with few speaking lines with the exception of substories. Her role was originally that a of  dutiful assistant to Kagari. However, she was remodeled, renamed, and repurposed solely for selfshipping adventures.

*Elements of the DOAL AU were the foundation for certain aspects of other AUs as well, such as the Daily AU and Swanview AU to help establish the MM&N dynamic

About AVA

✕ She is the ever-capable Administrative Director of Kagari, Inc. Her role is to essentially take care of things before Kagari even has to ask. She’s studied him to the point of practically knowing what he’s thinking most of the time. 

✕However, due to the nature of so many of her former jobs requiring her to anticipate the needs of others, she excels at reading more than just Nishikiyama/Kagari which just adds to her value as far as he’s concerned.

✕ She is known as his shadow. Wherever he goes, she is sure to follow– sometimes, even against his direct orders and it used to piss him off but it’s saved his ass more times than he’d like to admit. 

✕ To his clients, she appears as little more than an errand girl that Kagari may or may not be screwing on the side. When she’s not tending to business in the head office, she’s attending meetings and dinners with him. If he’s hosting in The Tower’s lounge, she’s generally manning the bar. However, what many do not realize until it’s too late is that her melee ability, as well as her speed and sleight of hand is unmatched. He utilizes her calm, elegant and subdued aura to encourage people to lower their guard and when he gives her the signal, she executes his plan of attack.

✕ Before she was Kagari’s right hand, she was a broke college student from the States who was willing to do just about anything to make enough money to live. He found her on a camming site and requested to meet, offering her an amount of money that she'd felt foolish to turn down. When they met, she expected to have sex with him but it turned out to be a very unconventional job interview of sorts. He offered her a great salary as well as room and board for the first year. He’d recently cleaned house at his company and wanted to hire a different cast of characters, people who he felt had a great sense of loyalty and nothing left to lose– and in many ways, he felt that she was perfect for the role that he had for her.

✕ She was not born as Ava Vernon. It was the name they brainstormed together as they worked toward reinventing her. The only person who knows her real name is him (and later Aizawa). 

✕ Her reinvention didn’t stop at changing her name. He also encouraged her to improve her style, speech, posture, mannerisms, had her trained to use weaponry and so, so much more. For the first year working under him, she hardly knew sleep because he had her working tirelessly on crafting her new identity.

✕ In just a few short years, she somehow got him to lower his guard and shed his many layers to allow her to see beyond the persona. She knows him as Akira Nishikiyama– including all the details leading up to and beyond his “death” in 2005. 

✕ She’s the most trusted on his team and it’s for that reason that he’s harder on her than anyone else. He feels that since she knows too much, he cannot lose her and therefore she cannot afford to screw up. 

✕ She’d been in love with him for a while, but by the time of the events in DOAL, the feelings were mutual between them despite neither of them actually confessing to each other. It was just sort of obvious to everyone around them. 

✕ To outsiders, Kagari/Nishikiyama was needlessly harsh to her. Even Aizawa commented on this over time but between the two of them, it was just the way things were. It was easy to excuse because behind closed doors, his affection for her seemed endless.

✕ It takes multiple instances of her opening up to Aizawa and her really taking in what he had to say about their dynamic for her to finally question things for herself. 

✕ The relationship that Ava and Aizawa develop is one that complicates things for Nishikiyama in more ways than one. Aizawa was quickly able to see past her persona and see her for who she actually was. Not even her coworkers at Kagari,Inc. had done that and she’d worked with most of them for multiple years by this point. This infuriates Nishikiyama because not only does her letting her guard down put them at risk, he also finds himself struggling to be okay with the fact that parts of her that he thought were only for him had been exposed to another man. 

✕ To Aizawa’s credit, he never intended to get in between them. While he did find her attractive when they first met, he had too much shit going on in his own life to worry about getting involved in any sort of romance- let alone some weird love triangle. His interactions with her had been fully platonic until they just weren’t. He couldn’t even say for sure when the switch happened. 

✕ Besides, after he does finally realize that he’d been feeling things for her, he doesn’t say anything about it until mooonths after Ava and Nishikiyama call it quits on their complicated romance and decide to maintain a tense, but strictly professional working relationship. And even still, he doesn’t act on it out of a sense of loyalty to Kagari because while they weren’t friends, the man had saved him… Even if he did do so for his own personal motivations.

✕ Ava is the one to step out of line here and well, Aizawa was never really good at turning down beautiful women that were bad news.

[patriottruth]

Earthquake: 06:41:39 PST Local Time Furnace Creek, California (6 minutes, 38 seconds (398 seconds) after the 2024 U.S. Elections "Take Care Clause" Legal Remedy post at 14:35:01) Some Important Facts and Figures About the Alleged Final Count That Was Completed in Less Than 24 Hours For The Entire USA?!?!?!?

It's crucial to remember that the last time a petty tyrant attempted to take the land now known as the United States for themselves, they failed. Kamala Harris conceding the election and promising a peaceful transfer of power, while also making a lot of "the fight's not over" and "it's going to be a long fight" references, keeps the door open for election litigation should there be any obvious irregularities and election fraud between now and December 17, 2024.

Again, to lower people's stress levels, donald j. trump WILL NOT and CAN NOT be the President Elect until December 17, 2024 and the resolved/uncontested meeting of the Electoral College. All 2024 election challenges, recounts, and litigation has to be wrapped up by December 17, 2024 in order to certify the uncontested results.

Once the uncontested results are certified, they must be received by the president of the Senate and the national archivist by Christmas Day/December 25, 2024. The president of the Senate this year happens to be Vice President Kamala Harris. There are soome interesting signs pointing to Christmas Day/December 25th, 2024, so we'll see what happens with all of this by then.

"On the campaign, I would often say, 'when we fight, we win.' But here's the thing. Sometimes the fight takes a while. That doesn't mean we won't win. The important thing is don't ever give up." - Kamala Harris (November 6, 2024)

2024 U.S. presidential election facts: During deposed fascist insurrectionist and wanna be dictator donald j. trump's Project 2025 presidential campaign, polls generally showed that a majority of Americans believe that 80-year-old donald j. trump is too old to serve as president. A July 2024 poll, taken shortly after the first presidential debate, found that 60% of voters saw Trump as too old for a second term. This represented a steady and constant increase in voters polled by this pollster sharing this concern, and paralleled the progression of the larger number of voters who had the same concern about Biden. An August 2024 Morning Consult poll found that the number of respondents who thought Trump was too old to run jumped by seven percent, to 51%, from their previous poll once Trump's opponent changed from Joe Biden to Kamala Harris, and the number of respondents who thought Trump was in good health correspondingly fell by six percent. The poll further reported that nearly 80% of respondents "were unsure he'd be up for serving a full second term". A Marquette University poll released the same day reported that 57% of respondents felt that Trump was too old.

60% of American voters agreed that donald j. trump is too old to be president; that leaves a maximum of 40% of Americans who might still be willing to vote for nasty old man, donald j. trump; but mindnumbingly boring screamin'-at-clouds grandpa ended up with 50.9% of American votes? And that's just further highlighted by his extreme cognitive decline over the months leading up to the election, so there's no way he changed anyone's minds about his physical, mental, and emotional incompetence. His half-sized rallies were only half-full the last weeks of the campaign cycle, and his mindnumbingly boring screaming-at-clouds retarded grandpa routine was emptying every rally venue early like a flushed toilet.

Haley Voters for Harris said that a recent Blueprint survey indicated that 33% (1,445,994 votes), and up to 55% (2,409,990 votes), of Nikki Haley's 4,381,799 2024 Republican Primary voters have either already decided to vote for Kamala Harris, or they're considering doing so. Those numbers are only based on the 2024 Republican Primary and are only a mere percentage of the actual likely Haley voters for Harris who simply didn't vote in the 2024 Republican primary.

On top of that, there were an additional 867,320 Never trump Republicans who voted in the 2024 Republican Primary who might also be open to voting for Kamala Harris. If the approximate percentages of Haley voters for Harris were applied to this group of Never trump Republican voters, that 33%=286,216 and that 55%=477,026. That increases the possible Never trump Republican voters for Harris to between 1,732,210 votes (33%) and 2,887,016 votes (55%) based only on the 2024 Republican Primary turnout.

Although the trend has been that Republican presidential candidates max out at around 300% election day turnout, it's possible that trump and Never trump voters could increase the historical norm to around 400% of the Republican Primary voters. If that happens, that increases the 33% of Never trump voters for Harris up to 6,928,840 votes, and the 55% of Never trump voters for Harris up to 11,548,064. Anti-American fascist German immigrant and wanna be dictator, donald j. trump, lost the 2020 election by a historic 7,000,000 vote landslide defeat and American mandate for the Biden/Harris "Build Back Better" agenda, and American prosperity has been steadily improving ever since. And that 7,000,000 to 11,500,000 Never trump Republican vote doesn't even include the millions of Independent voters who'll be voting against donald j. trump this year. As long as every patriotic American puts country over party and votes against donald j. trump in the 2024 U.S. presidential election, it's possible that American patriots could deliver another historic landslide defeat to donald j. trump in the range of 12,200,000 to 35,400,000 votes for an undeniable Harris/Walz "New Way Forward" American mandate.

2024 U.S. Registered Voter Stats (Pew Research): Republicans: 36 million voters

-7 million (33%) Never trump voters = 29 million likely trump voters

-11.5 million (55%) Never trump voters = 24.5 million likely trump voters

Democrats: 45.1 million voters

Independents: 32.1 million voters

-10.6 million Never trump voters (33%) = 21.5 million possible trump voters

-17.7 million Never trump voters (55%) = 14.4 million possible trump voters

If 100% of all registered voters actually turned out and voted in the 2024 U.S. presidential election:

trump (with a loss of 33% of Never trump voters and no Democrat defections): 50.5 million votes Harris (with a gain of 33% of Never trump voters and no Democrat defections): 62.7 million votes

trump (with a loss of 55% of Never trump voters and no Democrat defections): 38.9 million votes Harris (with a gain of 55% of Never trump voters and no Democrat defections): 74.3 million votes

All of that polling was valid in May of 2024 and was confirmed again in September, October, and then again days before the November election.

Signs and proof that the polling was and still is 100% accurate was donald j. trump's campaign rallies being half the size of his 2016 and 2020 rallies, only being half-full at that, and people leaving early during every rally.

And yet, with all of that truth, and the Madison Square Garden fresh batch of insults aimed at Puerto Ricans, Latinos, Blacks, and Jews, and with donald trump and his acolytes and allies screaming election fraud due to the turnout against them on election day, AND with millions more 18-29 voters voting for Harris/Walz in 2024 than voted in 2020, AND with the majority of American women, grandmothers, mothers, daughters, and sometimes granddaughters voting against donald j. trump WITH all of the Republicans, Independents, and former trump voters who refused to make that mistake again, Americans are expected to believe there's nothing suspicious going on with these election results when all of Kamala Harris' full-sized rallies were packed full from the start of her campaign until November 4th, 2024?

As of 3:00 pm EST, November 6, 2024: trump: 71,958,119 votes (323.19% turnout from primary elections - his best case scenario was 50.5 million votes)

Harris: 67,133,693 votes (464.09% turnout from Biden's primary elections - her worst case scenario was 62.7 million votes)

Why is it that there were approximately 36 million registered Republican voters this election, and donald trump somehow received almost exactly 2 votes for every one registered Republican voter; as if a hacked computer program was automating it?

donald j. trump experienced 141.7% less voter enthusiasm and turnout than Kamala Harris, and yet he somehow received 4 million more votes than Kamala Harris (but 2 million less than in 2020) and Kamala Harris received 15 million less votes than in 2020?

Democrats outnumber Republicans by 9 million registered voters, and yet Kamala Harris allegedly lost by 4 million votes, with 465% voter turnout to donald trump's 323% turnout, when Republican presidential candidates usually max out at around 300% election day turnout?

How did trump end up with 2 votes for every registered Republican with half-empty rallies and 323% turnout, and Harris ended up with only 1.48 votes per registered Democrat with packed rallies, cross-party voting, and 465% turnout?

There are approximately 41 million age 18-29 voters who usually vote Democrat, and up to 20 million of those females were expected to vote heavily for Harris/Walz in 2024, so where are all of those votes?

Why is it that hundreds of thousands of Americans are documented as voting FOR PRO-CHOICE on their state ballots, but then they allegedly voted for ANTI-CHOICE donald trump instead of Kamala Harris based on HIS punitive non-Pro-Choice stance and destroying Roe vs. Wade legal protections?

Why is it that hundreds of thousands of Americans are documented as voting for down-ballot Democrat candidates, but then they they allegedly voted for donald trump instead of Kamala Harris?

Why is it that donald trump told reporters he wasn't expecting any final results for at least 3 days immediately after he voted, but then somehow all of the election results were returned in less than 12 hours (which has NEVER happened in the United States)?

Kamala Harris is a prosecutor. donald j. trump is a career criminal and convicted felon who's been found guilty of rape, massive frauds in numerous court cases, and is being prosecuted for insurrection, election tampering, election fraud, racketeering, election interference, espionage against the United States, and theft of government documents and property. There's pretty much a 0% chance that there's no election fraud and tampering going on with these 2024 election results. donald j. trump and all of his other alleged newly-elected allies have to be able to maintain those lies and not have them overturned during the canvas, confirmation, curing, certification, recount, and litigation process between November 6 and December 17, 2024. This extremely suspicious 2024 elections craziness is about to become an Edgar Allen Poe story for all of the liars and dirty cheats of the world; and at least some of that wierdness will be captured in video clips when they go boasting on all the news networks for 16 to 20 hours per day, for the next 40 days…

“If I happen to be president, and I see somebody who’s doing well and beating me very badly, I say, ‘Go down and indict them.' They’d be out of business. They’d be out of the election.” - donald j. trump (November 9, 2023)

"I will root out the communists, Marxists, fascists and the radical-left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.” - donald j. trump (November 12, 2023)

“This is how dictators destroy free nations. They threaten those who speak against them with death. We cannot entrust our country and our freedom to a petty, vindictive, cruel, unstable man who wants to be a tyrant.” - Liz Cheney

“Labeling a political opponent as a ‘fascist,’ risks inviting a would-be assassin.” - Hypocrites, Irony Assassins, and MAGA Nazi Cult Member Republicans Mike Johnson and Mitch McConnell (Finally coondemning donald j. trump and the entire treasonous, bigoted, and misogynist anti-American MAGA Nazi cult for calling all Americans who don't support or vote for donald j. trumpor MAGA Nazi Cult Republicans "traitors, anti-American, enemies from within, very bad people, very dangerous people, racists, radicals, extremists, communists, Marxists, fascists, thugs, liars, sick, ugly, stupid, mindless, thoughtless, brainless, disabled, deranged, criminals, rapists, cheaters, sleazebags, low-lifes, scum, trash, genetically inferior, weak, poison, insects, animals, rats, snakes, and vermin" during the majority of his interviews, speeches, and rallies for years on end since 2011 - October 25, 2024)

"As President, I was never an 'officer of the United States' and I did not take an oath 'to support the Constitution of the United States'. Therefore, Section 3 of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution doesn't apply to me, can't be applied to me, and can't prevent me from running for or holding office for my actions on January 6, 2021."- donald j. trump (November 27, 2023)

"Get out and vote, just this time. "You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what, it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won't have to vote anymore.You gotta get out and vote. In four years, you don't have to vote again, we'll have it fixed so good you're not going to have to vote," - donald j. trump to his MAGA cult supporters (July 26, 2024)

“We gotta stop the cheating. If we stop that cheating, if we don’t let them cheat, I don’t even have to campaign anymore. We’re going to win by so much. The 2024 Election, where Votes have just started being cast, will be under the closest professional scrutiny and, WHEN I WIN, those people that CHEATED will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law, which will include long term prison sentences so that this Depravity of Justice does not happen again. “Please beware that this legal exposure extends to Lawyers, Political Operatives, Donors, Illegal Voters, & Corrupt Election Officials. Those involved in unscrupulous behavior will be sought out, caught, and prosecuted at levels, unfortunately, never seen before in our Country.” - donald j. trump on "truth" social (September 7, 2024)

When he was asked about "outside agitators" affecting a peaceful 2024 election, certification, and transfer of power: “I think the bigger problem is the enemy from within. We have two enemies. We have the outside enemy, and then we have the enemy from within. And the enemy from within, in my opinion, is more dangerous than China, Russia, and all those countries. We have some very bad people. We have some sick people, radical left lunatics. It should be very easily handled by, if necessary, by National Guard, or if really necessary by the military, because they can’t let that happen.” - donald j. trump (October 13, 2024)

Historical Republican Presidential Election Turnout Patterns: 1996 Republican Primary Voters: 14,583,573 Dole 1996 election votes: 39,197,469 (268.78% 1996 national election turnout)

2000 Republican Primary Voters: 19,253,687 Bush 2000 election votes: 50,456,002 (262% 2000 national election turnout)

2004 Republican Primary Voters: 7,956,726 Bush 2004 election votes: 62,040,610 (779.73% 2004 national election turnout)

2008 Republican Primary Voters: 20,039,034 McCain 2008 election votes: 59,948,323 (299.16% 2008 national election turnout)

2012 Republican Primary Voters: 18,682,820 Romney 2012 election votes: 60,933,504 (326.15% 2012 national election turnout)

Clinton total fundraising 2016 election cycle: $769,879,088 Clinton total spending 2016 election cycle: $768,577,907 Clinton 2016 election votes: 65,853,514 Average Clinton voter 2016 presidential campaign donation: $11.69

trump total fundraising 2016 election cycle: $433,392,727 trump total spending 2016 election cycle: $422,620,473 2016 Republican Primary Voters: 31,047,313 trump 2016 election votes: 62,984,828 (202.89% 2016 national election turnout) Average trump voter 2016 presidential campaign donation: $6.88

Hillary Clinton's 2016 fundraising was 156% higher than donald trump's and she won the election by roughly 3,000,000 American votes.

Biden total fundraising 2020 election cycle: $1,624,301,628 Biden total spending 2020 election cycle: $1,614,843,740 Biden 2020 election votes: 81,283,501 Average Biden voter 2020 presidential campaign donation: $19.98

trump total fundraising 2020 election cycle: $1,087,909,269 trump total spending 2020 election cycle: $1,090,633,916 2020 Republican Primary Voters: 18,900,288 trump 2020 election votes: 74,223,975 (392.71% 2020 national election turnout) Average trump voter 2020 presidential campaign donation: $14.69

Joe Biden's 2020 fundraising was 167% higher than donald trump's and he won the election by an easy landslide victory and American patriots mandate of roughly 7,000,000 American votes.

Harris total fundraising 2024 election cycle: $1,048,224,950 9/22/2024 Harris total spending 2024 election cycle: $728,659,506 9/22/2024 Harris cash on hand 2024 election cycle: $364,537,369 9/22/2024

trump total fundraising 2024 election cycle: $802,832,560 9/22/2024 trump total spending 2024 election cycle: $603,161,559 9/22/2024 trump cash on hand 2024 election cycle: $264,091,834 9/22/2024 2024 Republican Primary Voters: 22,264,875

Kamala Harris's 2024 fundraising is 177% higher than donald trump's, her rallies are far larger and more energized, and her Fox News ratings are 2.5 times better than donald trump's. It's definitely time to turn the page on donald trump and his anti-American MAGA Nazi cult, and for American patriots to put country over party and elect the first woman American President of the United States of America; because All Lives Matter, and it's time to finally prove it once and for all by including and uniting all American women and girls at the great American "We The People" table so that President Kamala Harris will be the first woman American President, but certainly not the last.

“If Jesus Christ came down and was the vote counter, I would win California, OK?” - donald j. trump

2020 California Presidential Election Results: Joe Biden: 11,110,639 votes donald j. trump: 6,006,518 votes

Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:11 So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? Luke 16:12 And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own? Luke 16:13 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

“I’m not 80 and I’m not that close to 80.”- 78.5-year-old donald j. trump

"I'm not an old person. I'm very young and I'm in such perfect shape. I'm in such great shape." - 78.5-year-old donald j. trump

*** During and after his term as President of the United States, the lyin', cryin'. draft-dodging cowardly cheater and proud fascist German immigrant, the Bone Spurs Bumbling Babbling Bozo Baby of Bedminster, donald j. trump, made tens of thousands of false or misleading claims. The Washington Post's fact-checkers documented 30,573 false or misleading claims during his presidential term, an average of about 21 per day. ***

New York magazine writer Olivia Nuzzi visited Trump at Mar-a-Lago in August, just weeks after the assassination attempt in a deep red area of Pennsylvania by one of his own registered radical right Republican voters with an AR-15 assault rifle. She wrote that during their interview, Trump “raised his right hand and grabbed hold of [his ear]. He bent it backward and forward.” “They didn’t need a stitch,” Trump said at the time. “Usually, something like that would be considered a surreal experience, where you sort of don’t realize it, and yet there was no surrealism in this case,” he added. “I felt immediately that I got hit by a bullet. I also knew it was my ear.” But Nuzzi wrote in the lengthy piece that “an ear had never appeared to have gone through less.” She added: “Except there, on the tiniest patch of this tiny sculpture of skin, a minor distortion that resembled not a crucifixion wound, but the distant aftermath of a sunburn.”

“Lyin' and cryin' comrade. trump has never won a championship at a course he doesn’t own and operate, always gets a turbo-charged golf cart that goes three times as fast as yours, so he’s always 200 yards ahead, and that gives him time to cheat. One time in L.A., he was playing $50 a hole with these three guys, he hits it in the pond. They see the splash. By the time they get there, it’s in the middle of the fairway, and they’re like, ‘What the F, Donald?’ And he goes, ‘It must’ve been the tide.’ He’s played in Pebble Beach, he’s played in the Tahoe one, where there are rules and judges and cameras. And in those, he’s never finished in the top half.So he wins when anybody who disagrees that he won is out of the club. That’s how he gets it.” - Rick Reilly

John 8:44 For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Luke 22:31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. Luke 22:32 But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”

Matthew 12:25 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. Matthew 12:26 And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive.

John 8:31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 6:38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.

Strong's Concordance #398 akal: to eat, burn up, consume, devour(-er), dine, feed, food, plenty, meat. Original Word: אָכַל

Mark 6:38 “How much bread do you have?” he asked. “Go and find out.” They came back and reported, “We have five loaves of bread and two fish.” Mark 6:39 Then Jesus told the disciples to have the people sit down in groups on the green grass. Mark 6:40 So they sat down in groups of fifty or a hundred. Mark 6:41 Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share. Mark 6:42 They all ate and were satisfied, Mark 6:43 and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish.

This is the last chance to fight for American democracy and the U.S. Constitution. If Americans don't fight donald trump and his allies before he takes office, there won't be another midterm or presidential election in the United States.

Luke 14:34 “Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Luke 14:35 Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!”

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1451 Psalm 35:1 Of David. O Lord, strive with my adversaries, give battle to my foes, Psalm 35:2 take up shield and buckler, and come to my defense; Psalm 35:3 ready the spear and javelin against my pursuers; tell me, "I am your deliverance." Psalm 35:4 Let those who seek my life be frustrated and put to shame; let those who plan to harm me fall back in disgrace. Psalm 35:5 Let them be as chaff in the wind, the Lord's angel driving them on. Psalm 35:6 Let their path be dark and slippery, with the Lord's angel in pursuit.

Emeli Sandé - Highs & Lows Duration: 4:12 (252 seconds) Published: January 31, 2017 (31st day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_OlhrBEISw p_OlhrBEISw behiloprsw 2+5+8+9+20+50+60+80+90+900=1224. 1224+31=1255. 1255+252=1507.

Strong's Concordance #1507 Gezer: From gazar; something cut off; a portion, part, piece; a Levitical city on the border of Ephraim; carrot Original Word: גֶּזֶר

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 446 Deuteronomy 32:7 Remember the days of old, Consider the years of ages past; Ask your father, he will inform you, Your elders, they will tell you: Deuteronomy 32:8 When the Most High gave nations their homes And set the divisons of man, He fixed the boundaries of peoples In relation to Israel's numbers. Deuteronomy 32:9 For the Lord's portion is His people, Jacob His own allotment. Deuteronomy 32:10 He found him in a desert region, In an empty howling waste. He engirded him, watched over him, Guarded him as the pupil of His eye. Deuteronomy 32:11 Like an eagle who rouses his nestlings, Gliding down to his young, So did He spread His wings and take him, Bear him along on His pinions; Deuteronomy 32:12 The Lord alone did guide him, No alien god at His side. Deuteronomy 32:13 He set him atop the highlands, To feast on the yield of the earth; He fed him honey from the crag, And oil from the flinty rock, Deuteronomy 32:14 Curd of kine and milk of flocks; With the best of lambs, And rams of Bashan, and he-goats; With the very finest wheat--And foaming grape-blood was your drink.

Christina Aguilera - Make The World Move featuring Cee Lo Green Duration: 3:00 (180 seconds) Published: November 9, 2012 (314th day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITMh2v8p9rA ITMh2v8p9rA (2, 8, 9) ITMhvprA ahimprtv 1+8+9+30+60+80+100+700=988. 988+2+8+9=1007. 1007+314=1321. 1321+180=1501.

Strong's Concordance #1501 gazam: locusts; cutting, trimming Original Word: גָּזָם

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1315 and 1316 Amos 4:9 I scourged you with blight and mildew; Repeatedly your gardens and vineyards, Your fig trees and olive trees Were devoured by locusts. Yet you did not turn back to Me--declares the Lord.

Mark 1:6 John wore clothing made of camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. Mark 1:7 And this was his message: “After me comes the one more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. Mark 1:8 I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.” Mark 1:9 At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Mark 1:10 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. Mark 1:11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Jade Novah - Show Out Duration: 3:55 (235 seconds) Published: August 5, 2013 (217th day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h4O0QdhTNM -h4O0QdhTNM (4, 0) -hOQdhTNM dhhmnoqt 4+8+8+30+40+50+70+100=310. 310+4+0=314. 314+217=531. 531+235=766.

Strong's Concordance #766 oren: From the same as 'Aran (in the sense of strength); the ash tree (from its toughness), fir, cedar Original Word: אֹרֶן

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 939 and 940 Isaiah 41:17 The poor and the needy Seek water, and there is none; Their tongue is parched with thirst. I the Lord will respond to them. I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. Isaiah 41:18 I will open up streams on the bare hills And fountains amid the valleys; I will turn the desert into ponds, The arid land into springs of water. Isaiah 41:19 I will plant cedars in the wilderness, Acacias and myrtles and oleasters; I will set cypresses in the desert, Box trees and elms as well-- Isaiah 41:20 That men may see and know, Consider and comprehend That the Lord's hand has done this, That the Holy One of Israel has wrought it.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 915 and 916 Isaiah 31:1 Ha! Those who go down to Egypt for help And rely upon horses! They have put their trust in abundance of chariots, In vast numbers of riders, And they have not turned to the Holy One of Israel, They have not sought the Lord. Isaiah 31:2 But He too is wise! He has brought on misfortune, And has not canceled His word. So He shall rise against the house of evildoers, And the allies of the workers of iniquity. Isaiah 31:3 For the egyptians are man, not God, And their horses are flesh, not spirit; And when the Lord stretches out His arm, The helper shall trip And the helped on shall fall, And both shall perish together. Isaiah 31:4 For thus the Lord has said to me: As a lion--a great beast--Growls over its prey And, when the shepherds gather In force against him, Is not dismayed by their cries Nor cowed by their noise--So the Lord of Hosts will descend to make war Against the mount and the hill of Zion. Isaiah 31:5 Like the birds that fly, even so will the Lord of Hosts shield Jerusalem, shielding and saving, protecting and rescuing. Isaiah 31:6 Return, O children of Israel, to Him to whom they have been so shamefully false; Isaiah 31:7 for in that day everyone will reject his idols of silver and idols of gold, which your hands have made for your guilt.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1445 Psalm 31:1 For the leader. A psalm of David. Psalm 31:2 I seek reuge in You, O Lord; may I never be disappointed; as You are righteous, resuce me. Psalm 31:3 Incline Your ear to me; be quick to save me; be a rock, a stronghold for me, a citadel, for my deliverance. Psalm 31:4 For You are my rock and my fortress; You lead me and guide me as befits Your name. Psalm 31:5 You free me from the net laid for me, for You are my stronghold. Psalm 31:6 Into Your hand I entrust my spirit; You redeem me, O Lord, faithful God. Psalm 31:7 I detest those who rely on empty folly, but I trust in the Lord. Psalm 31:8 Let me exult and rejoice in Your faithfulness when You notice my affliction, are mindful of my deep distress, Psalm 31:9 and do not hand me over to my enemy, but grant me relief.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1983 and 1984 2 Chronicles 19:4 Jehosaphat remained in Jerusalem a while and then went out among the people from Beer-sheba to the hill country of Ephraim; he brought them back to the Lord God of their fathers. 2 Chronicles 19:5 He appointed judges in the land in all the fortified towns of Judah, in each and every town. 2 Chronicles 19:6 He charged the judges: "Consider what you are doing, for you judge not on behalf of man, but on behalf of the Lord, and He is with you when you pass judgment. 2 Chronicles 19:7 Now let the dread of the Lord be upon you; act with care, for there is no injustice or favoritism or bribetaking with the Lord oour God."

Mark 14:41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Mark 14:42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

"As President, I was never an 'officer of the United States' and I did not take an oath 'to support the Constitution of the United States'. Therefore, Section 3 of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution doesn't apply to me, can't be applied to me, and can't prevent me from running for or holding office for my actions on January 6, 2021." - donald j. trump (November 27, 2023)

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 88 Genesis 41:38 And Pharaoh said to his courtiers, "Could we find another like him, a man in whom is the spirit of God?" Genesis 41:39 So Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has made all this known to you, there is none so discerning and wise as you.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 116 and 117 Exodus 3:3 Moses said, "I must turn aside to look at this marvelous sight; why doesn't the bush burn up?" Exodus 3:4 When the Lord saw that he had turned aside to look, God called to him out of the bush: "Moses! Moses!" He answered, "Here I am." Exodus 3:5 And He said, "Do not come closer. Remove your sandals from your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground. Exodus 3:6 I am," He said, "the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. Exodus 3:7 And the Lord continued, "I have marked well the plight of My people in Egypt and have heeded their outcry because of their taskmasters; yes, I am mindful of their sufferings. Exodus 3:8 I have come down to rescue them from the Egyptians and to bring them out of that land to a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey, the region of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

Earthquake: M 1.6 - 31.3 km (19.5 mi) WNW of Furnace Creek, California

2024-11-06 14:41:39 (UTC) 36.594°N 117.153°W 3.3 km depth

In Death Valley at the base of Tucki Mountain near Route 190/Death Valley Scenic Byway, Salt Creek, and Stovepipe Wells Road.

Tucki ciktu 3+9+10+100+200=322.

Strong's Concordance #322 achorannith: from 'achowr; backwards -- back (-ward, again). Original Word: אֲחֹרַנִּית

Strong's Concordance #190 oyah: woe! alas! Original Word: אוֹיָה

Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

Mandisa Ft. TobyMac & Kirk Franklin - Bleed The Same (There's no definition of "United" other than standing and coexisting together as one "We The People" of the United States of America.) Duration: 4:56 (296 seconds) Published: January 14, 2018 (14th day) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVKuA1s5I3o HVKuA1s5I3o (1, 5, 3) HVKuAsIo ahikosuv 1+8+9+10+50+90+200+700=1068. 1068+1+5+3=1077. 1077+14=1091. 1091+296=1387.

Strong's Concordance #1387 Geba: a Levitical city of Benjamin; a hill Original Word: גֶּבַע

Matthew 5:14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. Matthew 5:15 No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:17 “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. Matthew 5:18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Matthew 5:19 So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God’s laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Anti-American MAGA Nazi Cult School Book Bans:

"Ours was the first revolution in the history of mankind that truly reversed the course of government, and with three little words: 'We the People.' 'We the People' tell the government what to do; it doesn't tell us. 'We the People' are the driver; the government is the car. And we decide where it should go, and by what route, and how fast.

Almost all the world's constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are. Our Constitution is a document in which 'We the People' tell the government what it is allowed to do. 'We the People' are free. This belief has been the underlying basis for everything I've tried to do these past 8 years.

An informed patriotism is what we want. And are we doing a good enough job teaching our children what America is and what she represents in the long history of the world? Those of us who are over 35 or so years of age grew up in a different America. We were taught, very directly, what it means to be an American. And we absorbed, almost in the air, a love of country and an appreciation of its institutions. If you didn't get these things from your family you got them from the neighborhood, from the father down the street who fought in Korea or the family who lost someone at Anzio. Or you could get a sense of patriotism from school. And if all else failed you could get a sense of patriotism from the popular culture. The movies celebrated democratic values and implicitly reinforced the idea that America was special. TV was like that, too, through the mid-60s.

So, we've got to teach history based not on what's in fashion but what's important -- why the Pilgrims came here, who Jimmy Doolittle was, and what those 30 seconds over Tokyo meant. You know, four years ago on the 40th anniversary of D-day, I read a letter from a young woman writing to her late father, who'd fought on Omaha Beach. Her name was Lisa Zanatta Henn, and she said, 'we will always remember, we will never forget what the boys of Normandy did.' Well, let's help her keep her word. If we forget what we did, we won't know who we are. I'm warning of an eradication of the American memory that could result, ultimately, in an erosion of the American spirit. Let's start with some basics: more attention to American history and a greater emphasis on civic ritual.

And let me offer lesson number one about America: All great change in America begins at the dinner table. So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins. And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do.

The past few days when I've been at that window upstairs, I've thought a bit of the 'shining city upon a hill.' The phrase comes from John Winthrop, who wrote it to describe the America he imagined. What he imagined was important because he was an early Pilgrim, an early freedom man. He journeyed here on what today we'd call a little wooden boat; and like the other Pilgrims, he was looking for a home that would be free. I've spoken of the shining city all my political life, but I don't know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it. But in my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it, and see it still." - Ronald Reagan (1989 Farewell Speech)

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 987, 988, and 989 Isaiah 61:1 The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me; He has sent me as a herald of joy to the humble. To bind up the wounded of heart, To proclaim release to the captives, Liberation to the imprisoned; Isaiah 61:2 To proclaim a year of the Lord's favor And a day of vindication by our God; To comfort all who mourn-- Isaiah 61:3 To provide for the mourners in Zion--To give them a turban instead of ashes,The festive ointment instead of mourning, A garment of splendor instead of a drooping spirit. They shall be called terebinths of victory, Planted by the Lord for His glory. Isaiah 61:4 And they shall build the ancient ruins, Raise up the desolations of old, And renew the ruined cities, The desolations of many ages. Isaiah 61:5 Strangers shall stand and pasture your flocks, Aliens shall be your plowmen and vinetrimmers; Isaiah 61:6 While you shall be called "Priests of the Lord," And termed "Servants of our God." You shall enjoy the wealth of nations And revel in their riches. Isaiah 61:7 Because your shame was double--Me cried, "Disgrace is their portion"--Assuredly, They shall have a double share in their land, Joy shall be theirs for all time. Isaiah 61:8 For I the Lord love justice, I hate robbery with a burnt offering. I will pay them their wages faithfully, And make a covenant with them for all time. Isaiah 61:9 Their offspring shall be known among the nations, Their descendants in the midst of the peoples. All who see them shall recognize That they are a stock the Lord has blessed. Isaiah 61:10 I greatly rejoice in the Lord, My whole being exults in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of triumph, Wrapped me in a robe of victory, Like a bridegroom adorned with a turban, Like a bride bedecked with her finery. Isaiah 61:11 For as the earth brings forth her growth And a garden makes the seed shoot up, So the Lord God will make Victory and renown shoot up In the presence of all the nations.

Those who love, fear, seek out, and turn to the almighty G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and who study the Living Word of the Abrahamic G-d know and understand that wisdom is female…

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1603 Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom, The man who attains understanding. Proverbs 3:14 Her value in trade is better than silver, Her yield, greater than gold. Proverbs 3:15 She is more precious than rubies; All of your goods cannot equal her. Proverbs 3:16 In her right hand is length of days, In her left, riches and honor. Proverbs 3:17 Her ways are pleasant ways, And all her paths, peaceful. Proverbs 3:18 She is a tree of life to those who grasp her, And whoever holds on to her is happy. Proverbs 3:19 The Lord founded the earth by wisdom; He established the heavens by understanding;

Kamala Harris Presidential Campaign Announcement - We Choose Freedom July 25, 2024 (207th day) Duration: 1:20 (80 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHky_Xopyrw sHky_Xopyrw hkoprswxyy 8+10+50+60+80+90+900+300+400+400=2298. 2298+80=2378. 2378+207=2585.

Strong's Concordance #2585 Chanok: From chanak; initiated; Chanok, an antediluvian patriach -- Enoch; four Israelites, sons of Cain, Jered, Midian and Reuben Original Word: חֲנוֹךְ

Strong's Concordance #2596 chanak: to initiate, train up, dedicate, an apprentice Original Word: חָנַךְ

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1636 Proverbs 22:6 Train a lad in the way he ought to go; He will not swerve from it even in old age.

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 51

‘I did it because having you alive and hating me, is better than not having you alive at all.’

Claire’s heart broke at hearing Chris’ words. Judging by the look on Loki’s face, she had a feeling that his heart did too…

Loki said nothing at first, his mouth was open in shock at Chris’ admission.

‘You… you knew I didn’t want to be turned.’ Loki said gruffly.

‘You were dying in my arms, Loki. I loved you, so much. More than anyone else. When I first held you as a baby, I knew I’d do anything for my little brother. I was not about to just let you die.’ Chris yelled at Loki and turned away, his back to them.

Loki looked down, Claire saw the pained expression on his face.

‘If you just stopped killing innocent people, like dad did. You terrified me that day.’ Loki said quietly.

Chris turned around. ‘It’s not that easy. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when my victims are scared, the rush of power and the taste of their blood, it’s fresher and rich, I can’t help it. You’ve never been able to accept it, but I don’t care.’ Chris growled low.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. ‘I get it, Claire’s blood is the most delicious thing in the world, but I can control myself. I can stop without killing her. You could too, you don’t need to kill them after!’

‘I don’t care about them. Their lives are just fleeting in comparison to us, it will happen sooner or later. Whether I’m here or not. Vampires will overtake.’

‘Would you say that if your soulmate turns out to be human?’ Claire asked.

Chris glared at her. ‘I don’t have a soulmate.’

‘You do, somewhere.’ Loki said. 'Every vampire has a soulmate.'

‘I’ve been to every single town and city in the world, spent weeks at each place, searched in clubs, bars, restaurants, everywhere. A soulmate for me doesn’t exist.’ Chris snarled, though his voice broke a little near the end.

‘Tell Loki what you told me about your job.’ Claire said softly.

Chris clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Claire, then he looked at Loki with a sigh. He put his hands on his hips.

‘Fine. You want the truth? Look, I’m sorry for kidnapping Claire. For trying to hurt you. I was jealous when Claire first came along, that your soulmate literally just walked right into your life when I’ve spent centuries searching for mine. Then when dad told us about the school board wanting you to have my job, I snapped. I love that job, I love my students, vampires and humans. Seeing them thrive and grow, getting excited for being accepted into Universities or Colleges that they applied for, getting jobs that they’ve dreamed of. Helping the young vampires work their way through their first few years where their instincts are at their strongest. The thought of it all being taken away… especially by you, just made me see red. You’ve got everything I want, but you wouldn’t have if I didn’t turn you. Being a vampire isn’t so bad, is it? Better than being dead, surely? Yet you’ve never forgiven me for making that decision, to save my little brother in the only way possible.’

It was then Loki’s turn to get emotional. Claire saw the realisation wash over Loki’s face, his eyes began to water as he stepped backwards until he was leant against the table for support.

‘I… I didn’t realise you’d been searching for your soulmate. I also didn’t realise how much it affected you when I was hit by the car… I’ve been a fool… You’re not wrong, being a vampire is better than death. I just… I just didn’t see it at the time and was so angry and scared at the same time, it clouded my judgement. I’m… sorry, for not being thankful that you saved me. For not ever listening or giving you a chance.

I looked up to you so much, Chris. As my big brother. You were always there for me, looking out for me. When I was told about you and dad being vampires, I was crushed. Though I did come round to the idea, when dad explained about the blood bank… but then I learned that you didn’t agree with it. I was scared of you, the way you just drank from humans and killed them without care. That was a side to you I had never seen, didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to become like that, so when you turned me, I was terrified about doing the same. I've got your blood literally running through my veins, not just as brothers.'

Chris eyes widened a little at Loki’s words, his stance softened and he wasn’t quite as guarded anymore. ‘Scaring you was the last thing I wanted to do, I never wanted you to see me like that… I didn’t even want to tell you about us being vampires but dad was insistent about telling you the truth. That’s why my relationship with him dwindled even more, he just went ahead and told you anyway. I was scared of it causing a rift between us, and rightfully so. That’s exactly what happened.’

‘I would have found out sooner or later. I was beginning to wonder why you and dad never aged.’ Loki sighed and paused for a second. ‘I don’t want to take your job. You didn’t listen to me when dad told us. You are good at it, I know that. I was all for telling the board I didn’t want it and that you should remain the head teacher, until you went nuts and tried to kill me. That’s the first time I’ve genuinely thought you were actually attempting to murder me.’

Chris looked down. ‘I know. I’m ashamed to admit that I think I was, I just saw blind rage. I can’t excuse it.’ He shrugged and looked back up at Loki. ‘I can’t change who or what I am. But part of who I am, still cares and loves his little brother. Always has done. Always will. Even it that means being hated, at least you’re alive.’

Loki and Chris stared at one another for what felt like the longest time. Then, eventually, Loki stood up straight and walked towards him, Chris wasn’t sure what he was about to do at first. Though Loki opened his arms and hugged him tightly. Chris was frozen on the spot for a minute, his brain took some time to process what was going on.

Though the moment Chris put his arms around Loki in return, both of them instantly felt a relief of sorts, the love and bond they once had when Loki was younger came flooding back. All the good times and memories.

When they let go from the longest hug, they both had watery eyes. Though as they both took a step backwards, Claire was sat on the chair at the side, in floods of tears at the scene. They both turned their heads to look at her and chuckled.

‘You guys… That was… so beautiful.’ She sobbed and pulled her cloak round to wipe her eyes.

Chris rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. ‘Well… I’m away to go back to the hunt before it’s all over. I’m sorry, Claire. For kidnapping you and scaring you.’

Claire stood and walked over to Loki, still wiping her eyes. ‘I… I understand why you did. Though not to say it wasn’t scary at the start, but I’m glad that something good has come out of it in the end.’

Loki nodded in agreement, he put his arm around Claire tightly and kissed the top of her head.

‘Though if you ever hurt or kidnap her again, brother or not, I’ll beat the shit out of you.’ Loki growled at Chris.

Chris smirked and as he walked by, he patted Loki on the shoulder. ‘Sure you will, lil bro.’

Loki felt a strange sensation in his heart. It had been a long time since Chris called him that, he used to always use that nickname for him. It made him smile a little as Chris headed out the door and took off.

Claire wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist and hugged him tightly. Loki pressed his face into her hair and he breathed in deeply.

‘Let’s get you home.’ He hummed and squeezed her tightly.

[petercapaldi-press]

INTERVIEW

Sat 17 Oct 2009 01.30 CEST

Peter Capaldi: Malcolm Tucker is Alastair Campbell. But Mandelson is in there, too

Johnny Dee

TV's most creative pottymouth is back in The Thick Of It. But how will Malcolm Tucker cope with a female minister?

There are those who believe that the movements and decisions of our current government are as pointless as the rearrangement of deckchairs on the Titanic as it sank into the icy depths below. But there's a line in the new series of The Thick Of It – BBC2's scabrously brilliant portrayal of ministerial machinations – which describes the stagnating position Gordon Brown's party finds itself in far more accurately: New Labour is just like The Big Breakfast. Typically this metaphor comes during a characteristically venomous assault from spin doctor-in-chief and the fictional PM's all-seeing, all-swearing, all-Scottish eye, Malcolm Tucker, as he pinpoints the reality of the impending dark clouds of general election failure.

"Remember how Chris Evans started that, remember how it was a big success," scowls the magnificently foul-mouthed Tucker, jabbing his finger demonically. "And then they had that guy Johnny Vaughan, remember him? Everybody loved him, fuck knows why, but they loved him. You see this here? This is fucking series 10 of The Big Breakfast."

For those who missed it – and many did, thanks to its debut in the outer territories of Freeview, irregular scheduling and unfortunate events (actor Chris Langham left the show after being convicted of child porn offences; in the two hour-long specials his character's absence was attributed to a holiday) – The Thick Of It is usually described as a cross between Yes Minister and something good like The West Wing or The Office. It's actually far better than that. Smart, mean and remorselessly funny, thanks to its deliberately obtuse hand-held camera angles and sharp, partly improvised script, it feels too real to be classed as a satire or a regular sitcom. There are subtle digs at real-life political events like the expenses scandal, but The Thick Of It occurs in a parallel universe, albeit one also populated by feckless, spineless, self-serving idiots, AKA MPs.

For its return, The Thick Of It is being given a proper run of eight consecutive episodes and a primetime slot on BBC2. This is due in part to the success of the spin-off movie In The Loop but mainly because alongside Peep Show, The IT Crowd and Outnumbered it's one of the greatest British comedy shows of this decade.

Director Armando Iannucci (the man also responsible for I'm Alan Partridge and The Day Today) has been lauded for his creation, as have the team of writers who include Tony Roche (World Of Pub), Jesse Armstrong (Peep Show) and its very own swearing consultant, Ian Martin. But the undoubted star of the series is Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker, a man certain to join the ranks of Basil Fawlty, Rigsby and Edmund Blackadder in TV's arrogant bastard hall of fame. It's not just the brilliance of these creations that links these comedy giants, the pathos of all four men comes from their resigned certainty that they alone know what they are doing amid a sea of fools.

'He is clever and does suss things out quickly … He's sort of an evil clown' – Peter Capaldi

"Yes, but I think he's a clown," says Capaldi. "The thing that amuses me about him is he thinks he's incredibly powerful and clever – and he is very clever and he does suss things out quickly – but he's sort of an evil clown."

Chatting to the 51-year-old Scot within the hallowed and maze-like compartments of BBC Television Centre – a beige wonderland of open-plan desks not dissimilar to the bland officescapes of The Thick Of It's Department of Social Affairs And Citizenship (DoSAC) is a little disconcerting. Despite the fact that he's a much calmer, more charming person than his character ("I've only lost my temper three times in my whole life"), you still expect him to snap into a Tucker rant at any second. "Well, he does look a bit like me," jokes Capaldi. People stop him in the street now, and instead of requesting autographs demand a bollocking or ask him to tell them to fuck off ("… and sometimes I mean it"). Playing the PM's enforcer has changed his life. Now, instead of accepting run-of-the-mill TV drama parts as doctors, priests and psychiatrists – "Someone dull and reliable who would turn up and be pleasant," he claims modestly – he gets offered lunatics, psychos and people with venom, like Sid's dad in Skins and King Charles in The Devil's Whore. "Nobody would have cast me as a King before."

That's slightly disingenuous; he did, after all, play a transvestite in Prime Suspect and has been in numerous brilliant films including Local Hero and Dangerous Liaisons, and he has an entirely separate CV as a director (he won a best short film Oscar in 1995 as writer and director, and recently directed NHS satire Getting On). But four years ago he'd just come from a soul-destroying screen test for one of those dull, reliable parts when he first met Armando Iannucci to audition for The Thick Of It.

"I remember thinking I can't be bothered to see Armando," he says. "I was so fed up with acting. The morning audition had been with a group of people I'd already worked with and it was for one scene. I thought, 'Why at my age am I having to jump through all these hoops?' So by the time I got to Armando, I couldn't care what he wanted to do. I was pissed off. But what that did was equip me to be more powerful.

'Alistair Campbell was mentioned, but if you look at the first few episodes there's more of a Mandelson quality to him' - Peter Capaldi

Malcolm, of course, doesn't care what you think of him because he is more powerful than anybody in the room."

Tony Blair's director of communications-cum-Darth Vader of Whitehall, Alastair Campbell, is often mentioned as the inspiration for Tucker but Capaldi claims that's not totally the case.

"He was mentioned initially," he says, "but there was no ream of research or anything. I just tried to play a character who was antagonistic and powerful. It evolved; if you look at the first couple of episodes there's more of a Mandelson quality to him."

Does he think Tucker would consider staying on in government if the Tories won the election?

"No. Malcolm's got a higher purpose to pursue."

And what's that?

"To maintain a Labour government in power and if that's in danger he'll fight to the end. He'd do everything in his power to destroy them, to eliminate them."

Unsurprisingly, Capaldi doesn't see his creation as a bully but as an efficient hard worker.

"I think he's very good at what he does. There are some people he really hates, but most people he just hates. That's quite democratic. I've come to really like him; he's a force of nature and you just unleash him."

How much of the swearing is in the script and how much is improvised?

"It's mostly all in the script. I tend to follow it quite closely because there's a rhythm and a sense of baroque asceticism to it and I don't want to walk all over their work. I have discovered that I do put in a few extra fucks, but it's a little aide mémoire. If I can't remember the next line I say 'fuck' and in that split second the next line comes."

Fans of high-level profanity will be delighted to learn that the first episode is rammed with plenty of put-downs and insults to rank alongside Tucker's finest moments (has there ever been a finer invitation to enter a room than "come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off"?). There is also the return of keen Al Jolson fan Jamie to look forward to, a calamitous trip to The Guardian's offices, another dip into the world of their Conservative counterparts, and much fantastic bickering between departmental gimps Ollie (Chris Addison) and Glenn (James Smith), two gents Malcolm Tucker refers to as Hinge & Bracket in episode one and by way of telling them to get lost invites to "hang up your lady cocks".

The series begins with a cabinet reshuffle by the new prime minister and a desperate attempt to find "a mammal with a head" willing to fill what Tucker calls "the DoSAC hole". The unlucky MP to get the job is backbencher Nicola Murray, because Tucker complains "the only other candidate is my left bollock with a smiley face drawn on it".

Blithely ignoring her lowly status, Murray (brilliantly played by Nighty Night's Rebecca Front) is squirmingly embarrassing, but also ambitiously determined to forward her meaningless agenda of "social mobility" and provides the Thick Of It with a fresh dimension and a new challenge for Tucker.

"It's great because Nicola is a woman," says Capaldi. "It might not seem obvious but Malcolm is a people person – he actually figures out how to deal with people – so he realises after a while that battering her over the head with his swearing hammer doesn't always work. He has to find other ways to get her to do what he wants."

Like blackmail? "Essentially. The thing is, Malcolm doesn't think MPs are idiots, he just thinks they're twats."

[tessa-liam]

Turning the Page  

Chapter 3 – Regrets 

Choices, The Royal Romance, AU

Series Premise: As Riley Brooks journeys through life as a single parent in New York City, an epiphany strikes as she contemplates the future for herself and her two-year-old son. 

Turning the Page Masterlist 

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except William Brooks (Rys) and Matteo Magro, who belong to this series. 

Category: On-going series, contains angst/fluff/depression 

Rating: M🔞Warnings - crude language – not Beta’d - please excuse all errors. 

Words: 2487 

Turning the Page 

Regrets – Chapter 3 

Chapter Summary: Maxwell meets William for the first time as Riley continues to confide her truth to her Cordonian friend. Olivia attends a Royal council meeting at Liam’s invitation. Madeleine announces her pregnancy.  

Music Inspiration:  I Want to Know What Love is, Foreigner 

A/N1: In this alternate universe, after King Constantine orchestrates two individual scandals to humiliate and entrap Riley Brooks and Olivia Nevrakis in shame, Madeleine Amaranth secures her position as the Queen of Cordonia. Riley, as the King’s mistress and Olivia, in self-imposed exile. Tariq is never found. 

A/N2: My submission for @choicesflashfics, Week #51, Prompt 1 – "There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you.” 

A/N3: My submission for @choicesseptemberchallenge2023, @midnightmelodiz, Day 30 – Home, Heart, “I’m here for you. Always.” 

Brooklyn Heights, New York City 

The tapping sounds of rain pelting on her bedroom window startled her awake. Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to get her bearings. The last thing she remembered was crying herself to sleep after talking with Maxwell. 

Riley glanced at her clock on her bedside table, 2:30 a.m. She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. She closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would take her, but it did not. Instead, her thoughts returned to the conversation she had with Maxwell the previous evening. 

‘He misses you so much. He is not the same without you.’ 

The rain picked up its pace, now pounding against the glass with intensity. Riley rolled over and gazed at the window, watching the droplets slide down the pane. 

‘You have no idea how much he loves you.’ 

Just like last night when speaking with Maxwell, her tears fell once again. 

‘He’ll be happy to know that you came back. That you want him too.’ 

Riley jumped when the thunder roared, and a flash of lightning filled her room with light. That is when she heard Li’s little voice from down the hallway; he was crying.

“I’m coming, Li Li.” 

Riley climbed out of bed and quickly threw on a robe before heading towards his room.  

Approaching his bed, she cooed, “Hey, little one.”  

“Did the storm wake you?” 

William sniffled and held his arm out to her; his other arm wrapped tightly around his Scooby-doo plushie. 

Riley smiled and scooped him up, cradling him close to her chest. 

“Don't worry, I’m here for you. Always.” 

Riley rocked him in her arms, gently swaying side to side as he laid his head against her shoulder. Once William fell back to sleep, she tucked him back into his bed. 

“Mommy loves you very much,” she whispered.  

"There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you.” 

Riley once again felt tears stinging her eyes. 

“I love you, Li,” she breathed, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.  

Thinking of Liam, Riley crumbled to the floor. The memories and guilt overwhelmed her once more. 

Cordonian Royal Palace, Capital, Cordonia 

It was early Wednesday morning when Liam sat down with Regina for an early breakfast in the dining room. Today, the Royal council was set to meet with a new member; which will be an interesting surprise for the members. 

Liam smiled to himself as he stirred sugar into his black coffee and looked across the table at Regina. He could sense that something was on her mind and was surprised when she told him that Madeleine wanted the press conference re-scheduled for Friday afternoon. 

“Friday, why so soon?” Liam challenged his stepmother. 

Regina looked at him with a stern expression. 

“Liam, the sooner you and Madeleine make a public statement, the sooner the rumors will stop.” He was aware of the rumblings at court. 

Liam scoffed. “The rumors? We are not having a child!” 

The final time he told Madeleine that he would never consummate a child with her, she decided to conceive a child with her lover. As per the Cordonian arrangement that was legally agreed upon, any child born outside of the Royal marriage would become the heir under the Queen’s guardianship. 

Madeleine was well aware of the one stipulation that the King had added to this contract. Liam had the definitive authority to legally name his heir.  She also knew he would also be expected to abide by his duty as monarch and produce an heir. 

“Liam, I understand that this is a sensitive topic for you. But it is imperative that you perform your duty as King and husband. Regardless of how you feel about her, the rumor has already spread through the nobility that you are unwilling or unable to produce a child. With Madeleine now pregnant, the two of you need to come forth through the media to the people of Cordonia. We need to put a stop to the rumors before it gets out of hand.” 

Liam squared his shoulders with a warning expression. 

“I am the King; my birthright. If I say the rumors are false, they are false.” 

“And the people will believe you, but the nobles will not. They will continue to question your ability to produce an heir.” 

“Then let them question. It is not their concern.” 

Regina sighed and folded her hands on the table, “Liam, please. This is important and...” 

“Enough!” Liam slammed his fist down and stood up menacingly. 

“If you are concerned about the image of the crown, then I suggest that you recommend to Madeleine that she must address the nobles at court herself. Let her explain the decision she made; let them see her for what she is for themselves.” Liam spat. 

“I am not concerned about the image of the crown, Liam. I am worried about you. Ever since Riley disappeared, you have been miserable.” 

Liam didn’t reply. Preferring to remain silent, he knew she was right. 

“I have spoken to Drake,” Regina continued. “He agrees with me. The only time you smile is when you talk about Riley. It has been almost three years. You need to let go of her and move on. You have a kingdom to rule.” 

Liam’s jaw tightened at her words. 

“Regina, I know you mean well, but I cannot do that; I will not do that. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a meeting to attend.” 

Liam bowed to Regina and turned towards the grand staircase. Climbing the staircase two steps at a time, at the third level, he turned to the right towards his study. 

Brooklyn Heights, New York City  

Cracking another egg into the bowl of ingredients, Daniel began to quickly whisk the pancake batter while the griddle got hot. Looking up to see Riley carrying William into the kitchen, he stopped stirring to rush over to pick up his Godson. 

“Good morning, buddy. How are you today?”  

William laughed excitedly, “dan dan!” As he wrapped his arms around Daniel’s neck, Riley sat down at the kitchen table after pouring herself a cup of coffee. 

“Are you going to watch me make pancakes?” William nodded and let Daniel seat him in his booster seat next to Riley. “How is Mommy doing, buddy?” 

Daniel looked over at Riley who sat looking out the large kitchen window next to the table. She was in deep thought and when she heard the familiar voice greet Daniel, she turned towards William. 

It was past midnight when the trio arrived back at the brownstone after walking home from the pier. Daniel had invited Maxwell back home to stay and crash, instead of him having to cab back to his hotel. 

Considering there were plenty of words left unsaid, Maxwell agreed quickly in the hope of learning more about his friend. She was clearly struggling; he was genuinely concerned about Riley’s state of mind. His heart broke watching his friend last night; she looked so defeated. Her ‘bright light’, snuffed out. 

“Good morning,” Maxwell sing-songed, but stopped abruptly in the doorway upon seeing the little blond-haired boy sitting beside Riley. 

“Hey, Max. I hope you are hungry.” Daniel acknowledged and invited him to sit. 

“Thank you... yes, I am starving.” Riley slowly raised her eyes to meet his; “would you like some coffee?” 

Maxwell answered, “please and thank you, little blossom.”  

As Maxwell looked at the little boy once more, time stood still. He was frozen in place staring at the little boy drinking from his sippy cup. Max's mouth open... he was speechless. 

“This is Liam’s son. His name is William.” Riley whispered, her voice trembling. 

The resemblance was uncanny – the same piercing blue eyes, the same hair color, the same expressive features. 

The boy was undoubtedly Liam’s son; a mirror image of his father, back in time. 

Maxwell’s heart skipped a beat. He remembered Riley’s heartbreak as he held her in Bossina cathedral as the newly married King and Queen passed by, walking back up the aisle.  

Liam, his childhood friend, had devastated Riley’s world the night he chose another. 

The scandal and shame she had to endure during the engagement tour.

He remembered the pain in Riley’s eyes when she announced that she would stay in Cordonia as his mistress. Just to remain in his life and to live as a secret; she would be bound by a cordonian agreement. 

And now, standing in front of William, he understood why Riley disappeared; leaving Liam and Cordonia behind.

William looked up to Maxwell with those familiar eyes, a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty in his gaze. 

Maxwell knelt beside William at eye level and smiled warmly.  

“Hey there, William. It's a pleasure to meet you.”  

William hesitated for a moment, but then gave Maxwell a tender smile, mirroring his father's charm.  

Riley went on to explain her dire situation to Maxwell. That Madeleine, if she found out about William, could and would threaten to take him away from her.  

That was why she called upon Maxwell for help, knowing that he was the only person she could trust to keep her secret and remain a connection to Cordonia.

Maxwell's mind raced as he tried to figure out a solution. He could not bear to see Riley go through more pain. And he could not ignore the innocent child who had unknowingly become a potential pawn for Madeleine.  

“We'll find a way, Riley." Maxwell assured his friend.  

"William deserves to know his father. And you deserve to remain part of his life and Liam's.” 

Maxwell sat beside Riley and wrapped his arms around her as more tears flowed. 

Maxwell couldn't help but think that William was not just a split image of his father. But also, a reflection of the love that will always exist between Riley and Liam. 

Royal Council Meeting 

The silence was deafening. 

Then, the murmurs began. 

As Olivia Nevrakis confidently strode into the boardroom and settled into her seat on the left-hand side of the King, she exuded an air of self-assurance. Her posture was erect, and her green eyes held a determined gleam. Olivia was known for her ambition and determination, and she was unapologetic about her presence in the room. 

When Queen Madeleine walked into the room, her regal presence commanded attention. The murmurs circulating the room were at once silenced as her gaze swept over the attendees, her expression initially neutral but with a discerning eye. 

When her eyes settled on Olivia, a storm seemed to brew within her. A flash of irritation crossed Madeleine’s features and her brow furrowed. It was clear that something about Olivia's presence had struck a nerve. In a moment of tense confrontation. Queen Madeline 's voice cut through the room.  

“You," she spat. Her tone sharp and commanding.  

“Leave this room at once.” Madeleine glowered unabashedly. 

Olivia, never one to back down from a challenge, met the Queen's demand with her own fiery resolve.  

“I have every right to be here, your majesty,” she retorted, her voice unwavering. 

“I am a member of this council by royal decree, and I will not be dismissed.”   

Liam watched with his hands steepled, seated with a stoic demeanor; observing the unfolding drama with keen interest. As king, and husband to Queen Madeleine, he had his own role to play in the proceedings. His impassive expression gave little away, but his trained, watchful eyes took note of the reactions of each council member to the unexpected clash between the Queen and Olivia. Notably, his queen’s subtle glances with her father, Godfrey, the Duke of Karlington. 

Clearing his throat, everyone turned to their King.

"Thank you all for your attention. The Queen has a statement to declare concerning her 'situation'. "

Madeleine spun around and glared at Liam. "Yes... yes I do."

Speakeasy, Duchy Domvallier, Cordonia 

In the heart of Duchy Domvallier, hidden behind an unassuming facade, lay the notorious Speakeasy known as the ‘Midnight Reverie’. It was a place where the world outside faded into obscurity, and where secrets were exchanged amidst the smoky haze of jazz-filled nights.  

A perfect getaway for King Liam and his trusted childhood friends, Drake and Rashad. The three of them had grown up together, forging an unbreakable bond that transcended their differences in station. Here, beneath the flickering candlelight, they could shed their titles and be ordinary men. 

Rashad started off the conversation. “Why did Beaumont fly to the States?” 

“He mentioned that he was going to a concert in Madison Square Gardens,” Drake responded. “He sends his regrets, though.” 

“Gentlemen, tonight feels like a night for confessions. Let’s start with our own regrets. Drake?” Rashad questioned. 

“My biggest regret is not completing my degree at University.” 

Rashad nodded in understanding, contemplating his own. 

“For me, it’s the time I spent chasing wealth and status instead of cherishing the moments with my family. Those are years I can’t get back.” 

Liam took a slow slip sip of his scotch, his eyes distant. 

“Regrets. I have many, but there is one that haunts me above all others.” He paused; his voice filled with melancholy.  

Drake and Rashad exchanged curious glances before urging him to continue.

“What is it, Liam?” The question asked even though they already both knew the answer.

 Liam's gaze was fixed on a distant point beyond the dimly lit room.  

“My greatest regret is not proposing to Riley on the night of my coronation; scandal be damned.”  

Drake and Rashad again exchanged knowing glances. 

“I thought I had to put my duty before my desires, so when the scandal was broadcast the night of the coronation. I chose another when I had already given my heart to Riley just as she had given her heart to me. When we couldn’t find Tariq to clear her name before the wedding, I listened to my father and the advisors and went ahead with the wedding. Instead of letting her go, I selfishly asked her to stay. But every day since, I have regretted that decision. I should have let her go."

Liam breathed deeply, "then she ended up leaving anyway.” 

Rashad offered a reassuring hand on Liam’s shoulder. 

“Regrets are heavy burdens, my friend. But perhaps it’s not too late to mend that old wound. Life is unpredictable.” 

Drake added, "perhaps, one day, you will get the opportunity to find her again, and be given the chance to re-write that story."

Thanks for reading⚘️

📌@ao719 @txemrn @queenmiarys @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @alj4890 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @harleybeaumont @busywoman @karahalloway @kingliam2019 @imjusthereforliam @lovingchoices14 @kyra75 @tinkie1973 @emkay512 @malblk21 @kristinamae093 @charlotteg234 @jared2612 @irisk12 @thesvnsins @walkerdrakewalker @emersyn-in-cordonia @mainstreetreader @belencha77 @iluaaa @mysticalfangirl @queenwalton @bascmve01 @umccall71 @choicesfrog @amandablink @choicesflashfics @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesmonthlychallenge

[kanmom51]

JK live 5 August 1:41 am KST

Part 2

*cr./To the creators of the media used in this post.

For those who missed out on part 1:

Before I start with part 2, brace yourselves. This one is packed with clips that are a MUST to see. Seriously. This was such a long live but it was so enjoyable because of JK's hyper mood at start and his adorable quirkiness throughout the whole live. It was a pleasure to watch and this post has a few lovely moments from the second half of the live. My suggestion is do take your time and watch the clips. I can assure you, you will not regret it.

Did we call part 2 Makguksu blues?

We sure did.

And this, my friends, is why.

JK, right through the second half of this live, is dreaming of eating his dish. Stopping from some music at times, or singing, or pondering, but mainly dreaming of eating. Man is hungry. Stomach growling hungry.

So, at the point we left him he's telling us again that he wants to eat.

And he's really struggling. So much so he's imagining himself making the dish.

First hour obsessing over messing up at the concert.

Next hour (well overlapping too) contemplating and obsessing over making himself something to eat.

Tries to move on with music, going to the bathroom and to refill his drink.

Talking/singing in the background. - a JK usual.

When he comes back he seems a little pensive again.  Nodding head once in a while.

Opens up one of his Spotify gifts – the mic he got, trying to figure out how to connect it.  He puts it away to charge a little.

WE have a few relatively quiet minutes. He’s thinking, not talking.  Music playing, he’s on his laptop, mood kind of feels like it’s a little heavier than before, even if before he was hard on himself most of it was vocal and done with a smile.  Now he becomes more pensive.

Singing to Malibu nights by Lany.  He knows the lyrics off by heart!!

So, remember this?

And this?

And quite the coincidence... song playing at 1:18 hr. of the live. Now that WAS a coincidence. But funny how the universe seems to always align for them, eh?

He asks us if we know a playlist called Life sucks. 

Malibu nights is on that playlist as well.

Definitely in a mood.

It could also be the adrenaline rush just winding down as well... Probably the combination of both.

Convinced himself to eat later in the day (says tomorrow, but it is already tomorrow, lol).

After a few minutes he’s back to reading comments, reads a comment asking for him to play Winter bear, he’s looking for it and then plays it.

And he starts to interact with the comments again.  Someone tells him their grandmother said he’s so beautiful and he smiles and says thank you, bowing as well.

Asks if he should watch some covers of Seven – good decision to lighten his mood.

So now he’s vibing to Seven. 

And he starts adlibbing – his fave thing to do and something he’s great at (mostly) – and it's about the concert again, lol.

So yeah, still not over it.  Lol.

Ok, and he does this:

Ahhhha, literally.🤣🤣

Doing the Seven cover is good for him. It does lift his mood slightly.

JK again looking at comments around 10 minutes in to listening to seven, and of course,

What in the actual fuck? Again bloody Ian in the comments. And again JK, not amused saying:

JK is literally like :

And with these fans you know:

Goes back to the music. 

Back to the adlibbing for food. Man is damn hungry.

And he's back to the comments.  Asked if he likes cupcakes, says he doesn’t really eat them much, but he tries to say it in English. 

You can see he is really trying with the English. Making the effort!

Comment: Would you like to collaborate with latino artist?

JK: Idk. Didn’t think about it (answers in English again).

JK: Should I go to sleep, I want to go to sleep now.  But then he tells us that if he ends the live now he’ll go make himself makguksu and that’s why he isn’t turning the live off, lol.

I want to eat makguksu so much, giggling.  That’s why he isn’t ending the live.

And did he just say DAYMN?  Like with the accent and all? Lol.

And now telling this to us in English. Because this is the vital piece of information that EVERYONE needs to know. HE WANTS TO EAT MAKGUKSU!!!

Ok, so this is hilarious.  He says, in English I’m HANGRY.  I’m assuming he meant hungry, and that was the translation, but could he have actually meant hangry?  Lol. I mean, with the level of frustration being so DAYMN ravenous, perhaps he is already HANGRY. LMAO.

Ok, so as I was writing these lines, well more like half an hour after (but who's counting?), RM had his live and among other very interesting things he shared with us, he happened to drop this little tidbit:

Is Joon telling us he's the one giving JK English lessons?

I mean, it would make perfect sense.

And explain JK's use of slang words rather than a cleaner English. Words like cause and daymn and hangry.

And if we are already on the subject, do we remember who was also getting English lessons at the surprisingly and very coincidental time as JK?

Let me jog your memory.

A certain someone who happens to live in the same complex that Joon lives in. A certain someone that told us he's getting lessons in English as well. At night. Kind of when JK was getting his. Ooh, coincidences galore.

I wonder if they all sit together in JM's lounge drinking and trying to have conversations in English. Or perhaps drinking and watching Friends without the translations.

Guess it's time to move on...

Next he listens/watches to Boynextdoor cover of seven.

Thinks they are cute and then shows us the signed album he received from them. See? That shelf was his signed debut albums.

He wants to go eat makguksu, again, he needs to go, he is a real soldier hanging on not giving in.

At this point, around the 2 hour mark he’s really had enough, he wants to end the live (has been wanting to end the live for several minutes already), go wash up, but then says he’ll listen to another couple covers.

He tells us he likes the covers that also rearrange the track.

JK: I want to go eat, but I really can’t eat. 

So for the next 20 minutes it’s all about he has to go to sleep and we have to go to sleep, but then he needs to sing with the spotify mic.

Ok, so his reaction with this mic was bloody hilarious. He kept getting a fright from it, and his reactions priceless.

First when turning it on.

🤣

Now that he has the mic it’s like he gets a new wind and he starts another round of karaoke.

He wants to seeing a calm song.  Easy song.

Enjoys making gluk gluk sounds with the mic. Asmr, he loves it, lol.

Sings All of my life – a song he is already familiar with.  He sings it karaoke, quite differently than his cover 5 years ago. 

But before, he needs to go find the lyrics.

This song meant a lot to him back in 2018.  I feel like it’s still emotional, but much has happened since, water under the bridge.  He even sings the last verse, the one about the breakup. The one he made sure not to sing back then. 

He shares with us that he had issue hearing the key (in the song) and that his ears are off since catching the cold.

He then sings Sofa, brings the speaker up closer to hear it better. 

Watch the clip!! This time JK gets a fright from the speaker. His reactions. He is absolutely adorable. Precious.

We are adlibbing again.

And then it’s really time to end.

It’s just “it’s really time to sleep now.”  “bye” and he’s off.  Well, not before he once again has a jump scare from his mic.

And then good night and good morning and bye and he’s gone.

Can’t help wonder if he gave in and went to make himself to eat or went to bed, lol.

So, there we have it,

Almost 2 and a half hour live.

First half – upset about messing up at the concert.

Second half – I want to eat makguksu.

Lots of adlibbing, all about messing up at the concert and wanting to eat makguksu.

That's pretty much it.

Oh, and how could I forget?

I’m done gaming, noo more gaming, no more gaming room, I dismantled it all, and not even doing the live in that room to make sure you understand I am no longer gaming. PERIOT.

Wait, you think that's the end of it?

Hell no.

After JK turned off his Weverse live, the man, who told us he's going to bed, was suddenly curious and decided to go live on TikTok. Again.

This bellow being a link to his first live a couple days back:

And now, after disabling the gift option (and making a point of telling us so in this last live):

Yep, now I'm done!

Woohoo!!!

All up to date on JK's lives.

I'm ready for more lives JK.... Bring them on...

[sixminutestoriesblog]

ides of march

well, its tumblr's favorite holiday and who can blame us? The assassination of Julius Caesar is probably one of the only group projects that ever went down the way it was supposed to with, well, not complete group participation (there were said to be upward of 60 people involved but only 23 stab wounds - obviously someone was not carrying their weight) but at least a good effort was made at it. But lets take a moment, between our jokes about salad and Animal Crossing butterfly nets to look at what else has happened in history on the Ides of March. For instance, did you know, on March 15th:

1493 - Columbus returned to Spain after 'discovering' the new world.

1580 - Phillip II of Spain put a bounty on the head of Prince William I of Orange for 25,000 gold coins for leading the Dutch revolt against the Spanish Hamburgs

1744 - King Louis XV of France declares war on Britain

1767 - Andrew Jackson, who would go on to be the seventh president of the US, was born.

1820 - Maine became the 23rd state in the US

1864 - the Red River Campaign, called 'One damn blunder from beginning to end' started for the Union Forces in the American Civil War

1889 - a typhoon in Apia Harbor, Samoa sinks 6 US and German warships, killing 200

1917 - Czar Nicholas II abdicated the Russian throne, bringing an end to the Romanov dynasty

1955 - the first self-guided missile is introduced by the US Air Force

1965 - TGI Friday's opens its first restaurant in New York City

1991 - in LA, four police officers are brought up on charges for the beating of Rodney King

2018 - Toys R Us announces it will be closing all its stores

2019 - a terrorist attacks two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, killing 51, and wounding 50 others

Oof! Pretty bleak, isn't it? It would almost make you think that the day is just bad luck, start to finish and its probably just as well, we're all focusing on assassination instead of other horrors. But wait - its not all bad news! The Ides of March has some tricks up its sleeve yet (joke intended). I'd be telling you only half the story if I didn't add:

1854 - Emil von Behring is born and will eventually become the first to receive the Nobel Prize in medicine for his discovery of a diphtheria antitoxin, being called 'the children's savoir' for the lives it saves

1867 - Michigan is the first state to use property tax to support a university

1868 - the Cincinnati Red Stockings have ten salaried players, making them the first professional baseball team in the US

1887 - Michigan has the first salaried fish and game warden

1892 - the first automatic ballot voting machine is unveiled in New York City

1907 - Finland gives women the right to vote, becoming the first to do so in Europe

1933 - Ruth Bader Ginsberg is born and will go on to become a US Supreme Court justice

1934 - the 5$ a day wage was introduced by Henry Ford, forcing other companies to raise their wages as well or lose their workers

1937 - the first state sponsored contraceptive clinic in the US opens in Raleigh, North Carolina

1946 - the British Prime minister recognizes India's independence

1947 - the US Navy has its first black commissioned officer, John Lee

1949 - clothes rationing ends in Britain, four years after the end of WWII

1960 - ten nations meet in Geneva for disarmament talks

1968 - the Dioceses of Rome says it will not ban 'rock and roll' from being played during mass but that it deplores the practice - also in 1968, LIFE magazine titles Jimi Hendrix 'the most spectacular guitarist in the world'

1971 - ARPANET, the precursor of the modern day internet, sees its first forum

1984 - Tanzanian adopts a constitution

1985 - symbolics.com, the first internet domain name, is registered

The Ides of March turns out to just be a day, like any other day in history.

Unless you're us. In which case -

[friendly-books]

Dresden files Brief cases and Monster live blog

Dresden files Brief cases and Monster live blog

A fistful of warlock

The American West was not the most miserable land I have ever traveled but it came near it.” pg. 16 Excuse me what nonsense are you talking about Luccio? The Midwest is great.

I like the nacken

“The warlock would hide in the rough part town-his kind could rarely find sanctuary among stolid, sober townsfolk” pg. 18 His kind? Kind? He’s still a person.

Cool spectacles

“The current Captain of the Wardens, a man named McCoy, a man with great deal more powerful and experience than me, had brought down three.” pg. 24 Eb mention

“Not only that, but such an action would brake one of the Council’s unspoken laws: Wizards were expected to minimize the use of  their abilities in the presence of magic-ignorant mortals.” pg. 25 Harry breaking spoken and unspoken laws

“My name is Wyatt Earp” said the deputy “And I think I’m the law” pg. 29 I like Wyatt

“Thule Society” pg. 30 Isn’t that the thing Thomas and Ivy is apart of?

“He will be fairly tried, and then, I expect, beheaded for his crimes.”

Earp examined the fingers nails of his right hand. “A real fair trial?” pg. 34 Yep real fair :|

“Well Bill’s partner” pg. 38 GAY COWBOYS!

“You’re willing to challenge an entire town to a fight? For the sake of your friend’s salon?” pg. 41 Is…is Luccio type people who stand up for the right thing? Like Harry and Earp. No one wonder she and Morgan didn’t get together

“It was then that the drum began beating, a slow, steady cadence in the darkness.” pg. 42 Oh no necromancers

“Rage, pure and undiluted, rage that this man, this creature, would spurn his responsibility to humanity and distort the power that created the universe itself into something so obscene, so foul.” pg. 51 Whoa there Luccio let’s not call people ‘creatures’ that’s how dehumanizing begins at that’s bad

“Kemmler” pg. 55 Oh no him that’s not his last time around

B is for Bigfoot

“Volkswagen beetle” pg. 60 Blue Beetle!

“I’m not a moron, usually.” pg. 60 Ha

“The whole PI gig is mostly about patience.” pg. 60 It’s fun seeing Harry being a pi after several books of him not being one

“My jaw dropped open. I mean it literally dropped open.” pg. 62 Ha

Bigfoot!

I like Dr. Helena Pounder

“But how did I hookup with a BigFoot?” pg. 67 I mean we were all wondering so…

“People can overreact to things when their kids get involved.” pg. 71 Yep you’ll find out soon enough Harry

“I winced. I knew where this was going. I’d seen it before, when it had been me with the book and the lunch tray.” pg. 73 Poor Harry poor Irwin

I like Irwin

I don’t like Couch Pete

“He is a Whitestone,” he said “They sharpen their instincts upon him. He is good for them.” pg. 84 He’s a child

I like Harry’s speech to Irwin

Go Irwin!

AAAA Wizardly

“They all look so darn young.” The close second was “Myers God I’m I getting older” pg. 106 Poor Harry

“The war had simply made the penalty for not learning quite a bit steeper.” pg. 107 Poor kids

I like Harry teaching the young wardens

“Oh God” she said “I think I like you”

“Give it time” pg. 117 Ha

“I’ve never met anyone who was breathing who I thought was too far gone to help.” pg. 122 Aw Harry

Boogeyman

“Only kids can sense them” pg. 123 Oh interesting

I’m glad the family got better

I was a teenager Bigfoot

“I’m in the ninety ninth percentile for height, but this guy was tall.” pg. 144 Yep

“You have an unsophisticated sense of humor.” pg. 145 Yes he does

River Shoulders!

“He was a good-looking man” pg. 151 Bi Harry 39

I can’t believe Irwin’s already a teenager

“I can’t think of anything sexier first impression than a man quoting Yakko and Wakko Warner” pg. 154 Ha

“Optio” pg. 159 New spell

“It was beautiful magic, which was rare for me.” pg. 159 Aw

“My record for going without sleep was just under six days” pg. 168 Harry you need sleep

“Wah” I said, Bruce Lee style” pg. 172 Ha

“You used black magic. To grow hair.” pg. 178 Seriously :|

“And I had no intention of turning anyone over to the tender mercies of the Wardens if I could possibly avoid.” pg. 179 Yep

Curses

“I mean I didn’t take my feet down off my desk or anything. But I payed attention.” pg. 184 Ha

“Mr. Dovovan” I said “no one does discretion like me.” pg. 189 Ha

More lore yay!

“Weregoats” pg. 202 Ha

I like Jill

“Gwynn ap Nudd” pg. 211 Where have I heard that name before

“ruggedly handsome” pg. 211 Bi Harry 40

Since when did Harry get so many titles?

“I’d like to see them to beat out the Yankees.”

“Who wouldn’t? Bloody Yankees” pg. 213 Ha and yes beat the Yankees

I like Geynn

Yes baseball is very serious business

“I have this weird thing where I take professional ethics seriously.” pg. 219 Yep

“They’re going to fight through it eventually.” pg. 222 Yep and they did in 2016

“Gwynn ap Nupp’s handsome face broke into a smile” pg. 223 Bi Harry 41

Even Hand

EVEN HAND TIME BABY!!!

I’m so excited for this short story

“A successful murder is like a successful restaurant: Ninety percent of it is about location, location, location” pg. 226 Ha and I probably shouldn’t have laughed at that

“They knelt over a large faded stain the concrete floor, left on the floor by the hypocritical White Council of Wizardly during their last execution.” pg. 226 Is Marcone making a point by having this executive here? How does Marcone know about the execution? And yes the White Council is hypocritical. We now have three canonical warehouses in all of Chicago. They just cycle through them.

“The man was young and good looking.” pg. 226 Is…is Marcone Bi? Gay? Bi Marcone 1

Oh Marcone is doing the execution himself

Why Boston? That’s so far away

Mr. Morell is the mob boss of Chicago

“I run the whores” pg. 227 Marcone that’s rude to say. It’s either sex worker or seamstress

Marcone your putting the one alive guy in a shipping container with his dead colleagues.

“He twitched his chin in the slight motion that he used for a nod when he disproved of my actions but intended to obey be anyway.” pg.227 Marcone knows Hendricks well

“Location, location, location” pg. 228 Ha nice call back

“Obviously, I am not Harry Dresden” pg. 228 First Harry Dresden mention

“My name is something I rarely trouble to remember, but for most of my adult life, I have been called John Marcone.” pg. 228 John Marcone isn’t his actual name!?

“I’m not even possessed of the mystic abilities of a mortal wizard.” pg. 228 Not yet

Yes they broke Marcone rules about kids

“He was hunched over a laptop too small for him, plugging away at his thesis” pg. 230 Hendricks has a thesis?! Cool

“The problem was young and attractive.” pg. 230 Bi Marcone 2

Justine!

“You are a sometime associate of Harry Dresden” I said “Given his proclivities about those he considers to be under his aegis, it is sensible to identify as many of them as possible.” pg. 232 Of course Marcone keeps track of Harry and his friends. And Marcone you do the same with your employees.

I like that Marcone renovates old buildings instead of tearing them down.

Oh the Formor

“Précis please,” pg. 234 Of course Marcone know French

Hendricks knows how to use a sword!?

“I don’t grant favors” You don’t? What about helping save the thralls in White Knight? Or giving Harry info in Changes?

“He blasted the door into a cloud of flying splinters with what I presumed with magic.” pg. 235 Ha

“For God’s sake

At least the vampires would call for an appointment.” pg. 235 Ha

“After a few visits from Dresden and his ilk I’ve invested in cheap, light doors at dramatic (as opposed to tactical) entry points.” pg. 235 Ha and glad to see Harry left an impression. Has Harry noticed the flimsy doors?

“Sir. Please” pg. 236 If Harry was the one asking and saying please Marcone would cave and agree

“Is it so much to ask for civility?” pg. 236 Ha and you should be used to this with Harry

Ohhh copper circle nice

“you are property. You have no rights in the current situation” pg. 241 Marcone Justine isn’t property she’s a person

“I am not a humanitarian. When I offer charity it is for tax purposes.” pg. 241 Lying to yourself Marcone. Again what about the Raith deeps? What about the info he gave Harry in Changes? No wait this takes place before Changes. What about Amanda? What about saving Harry when Gard said he was to die?

“Hendricks looked at me sharply. He didn’t say anything he didn’t have to. I already knew the tone of whatever he would say. Are there no prisons? perhaps. Or, no man was an island, entire of itself. It tolls for thee. On and on.” pg. 243 Thank you Hendricks for being Marcone’s jimmy cricket/concussion

Yes she is a child

“It is, with the possible exception of Dresden’s home, the most secure location in the city.” pg. 245 Oh interesting that Marcone considers his safe house the second most secure place. He clearly respects Harry given his assessment of his abilities. How does Marcone know that Harry has the best? Could Gard not make the room the best?

“Honestly” pg. 246 Ha he’s so sarcastic

“They make the anti technology effect Dresden puts off looks like mild sunspot activity” pg. 248 Harry mention again that’s the fifth time and Harry isn’t even here

“I first handed in my patriotically delusional youth” pg. 250 Marcone was in the military?!

Oh no Hendricks :(

Ouch Marcone broke his arm

“Given a choice between that egocentric drivel and a broken arm, I prefer the latter.” pg. 253 Ha

Interesting armor that Gard has

“Be a dear and burn down the building” I said

 She appeared by my desk looking bruised, exhausted, and functional. She lifted both eyebrows. “Was that a joke?

“Apparently,” I said “Doubtless the result of triumph and adrenaline.”

“My word” she said. She looked startled” pg. 261 Marcone’s funny and why is Gard surprised? Harry and Marcone banter all the time

“Make it look like an accident.” pg. 261 So insurance fraud. What would Harry be under acts of God?

“quarter of a million dollars” pg. 261 Marcone just has that kind of money?

“He seemed fine by the time he left, growling at Gard as she fussed over him.” pg. 262 Aw

“To say nothing of the fact that the bullets themselves are rare.” pg. 262 Interesting

“Dear child,” I said “I am a criminal. One very good way to cover up a crime is to commit an another, more obvious one.” pg. 263 Marcone is so smart

“You might consider speaking to Father Forthill at St. Mary of the Angles. The Church appears to have some sort of program to place those endangered by the supernatural into hiding.” pg. 264 Interesting

“I debated putting a bullet in her head but decided against it.” pg. 265 Marcone no and besides didn’t you just talk about Harry and those under his protection

“If she should speak of today’s events to Dresden…” pg. 265 Sixth Harry mention. Did Justine tell Harry? I do wish Harry and Justine interacted more

“They were there to kill Harry Dresden.” pg. 265 Seventh Harry mention Bit dramatic much. I don’t know if all that would kill Harry. The bombs in his office didn’t do it. The sprinkler system might work. Not sure about Gard and the magic bullets. Besides it’s so dramatic. If you want to kill Harry just do what Kincaid did. Sniper rifle but this time aim for the head. This whole plan involves Harry attacking Marcone on his home turf and using magic instead of a gun.

“I would test myself against Dresden in earnest on day” pg. 265 Eighth Harry mention. Besides if they wanted to kill each other they could have done ages ago. Harry doesn’t even threaten Marcone that badly like he did with Marva. Eight mentions of Harry Dresden in one story.

“Location location location” pg. 266 Ha

Bigfoot on campus

“It’s coffee flavored coffee,”

“No mocha?”

“Fuck mocha”

“Thank god” I said. “Black” pg. 267 Ha

“Am I under arrest?”

“That’s what we’re going to talk about” pg. 268 Ha 

“you could explain why I found you in the middle of an orgy.”

“Well” I said “if you’re going to be in an orgy the middle is the best spot isn’t it?” pg. 268 Ha

“Maybe you could explain why there was a car on the fourth floor of the dorm”

“Classic college prank” I said

“Usually when that happens, it hasn’t made big holes in the exterior wall.”

“Someone was avoiding cliche?” pg. 269 Ha

“What about all the blood?”

“There were no injuries, were there?”

“No”

“Then who cares? Some film student watched  Carrie too many times.” pg. 269 Ha

“Six separate calls in the past three hours with a Bigfoot sighting on campus. Bigfoot. What do you know about that?

“Well kids these days with their internets and their video games and their iPods. Who knows what they thought they saw.” pg. 269 Ha

“They almost never get violated, and when they do, it’s a big deal.” pg. 273 Yeah like starting a war

“In the Midwest, if you show up to a college town on a weekend, you risk running into a football game. In my experience, that resulted in universal problems with traffic, availability hotel rooms, and drunken football hooligans.

Or wait: Soccer is the one with hooligans. Drunken American football fans are just…drunks I guess.” pg. 277 Ha

“There was nothing in particular that should have caused my hormones to rage.” pg. 281 White court vampire calling it now

“They were becoming increasingly flecked with motes of molten silver” pg. 284 I knew it!

Wait I don’t think she knows oh no

“I couldn’t answer him for a second, the air felt so close. The last time I’d felt this much latent waiting power, I’d been standing next to my mentor Ebenezar McCoy, when he was gathering his strength for a spell.” pg. 292 Eb mention

“And this organization called the Paranet” pg. 293 Paranet! This is what I’m talking about information sharing yes

“People don’t want to know the truth. That makes it simple to hide. Wow, ten minutes? Really? I guess I’m not an Internetty person.”

“Internetty” Irwin said, seriously “I guess you aren’t” pg. 294 Ha

“So how come Kid Bigfoot wasn’t dead?” pg. 302 Interesting maybe because he’s got do much life energy Irwin didn’t die?

“The girl was in love with Irwin” pg. 302 I wonder how Connie can touch Irwin without getting burn?

“My son has joined himself to a parasite.”

“I felt a flash of milf outrage” pg. 302 RiverShoulders she’s a person

“I’ll give you till midnight to leave the state. After that you’re gone. One way or another”

“Hang on, I’m terrified let me catch my breath.”

“I react poorly to those who threaten my family’s well being, Dresden.”

“Yeah. You’re a regular Ozzie Nelson. John Walton. Ben Cartwright.

“Excuse me?”

“Mr. Drummond? Charlie…in charge? No?”

“What are you blabbing about?”

“Hells bells, man. Don’t any of you White Court bozos ever watch television? I’m giving you pop-reference golf here. Gold.” pg. 309 Ha

Wild Bill!

“Also, my pants had shrunk by several sizes.” pg. 323 What? Why?

Go Riversholders! He threw a car!

“Don’t be a moron Harry,” I said “You came for the kid. He’s safe. That’s all you were obligated to do. Let it g- Oh who am I kidding. There’s a girl.” pg. 334 Ha

“Wait. A…what? Am I going to sparkle or something?”

“God, no” said Irwin and I together” pg. 340

Bombshell

“I miss my boss” pg. 345 Poor Molly :(

“Harry wouldn’t have felt that. Harry would have saved the day. He would have smashed the Formor goons around like bowling pins, picking the kid up like some kind of serial-movie hero, and taken him to safety.” pg. 346 Hero worship

Justine!

“When you’re in magic, people always assume you do must be connected to it. Harry always thought it was funny. To him, magic was just one more set of tools that the mind could use to solve problems.” pg. 350 Interesting

“I hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings but that kind of thing really wasn’t necessary.” pg. 354  Interesting to see how Molly used Harry’s spell and changed it

“The math wasn’t hard. I had two angles measured against the magnetic north.” pg. 355 Interesting how much math is involved in magic

“That bitch deserved to be run over by a car.” pg. 377 Poor Molly :(

“This isn’t going to work.” Justine murmured

“It’s going to work.” I told her keeping my tone confident. We’ll breeze right in. The Rack will be with us.”

Justine glanced at me with an arched brow “The Rack?”

“The Rack is more than just boobs, Justine” I told her soberly. “It’s an energy field created by all living boobs. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.”

Andi started giggling. “You’re insane.”

“But functionally so,” I said, and adjusted myself to round out a little better. “Just let go of conscious self and act on instinct.

Justine stared blankly at me for a second. Then her face lightened and she let out a little laugh. “The Rack will be with us?”

I couldn’t stop myself from cracking a smile “Always.” pg. 381 Ha

“I spotted Gentleman Jonnie Marcone, the head of Chicago’s outfit, in attendance, with his gorilla, Hendricks, and his personal attack witch, Gard, floating around near him.” pg. 385 Marcone! Again with that spelling. Why is Molly calling Hendricks a gorilla and Gard a attack witch?

“Too easy,” I whispered “This was too easy.” pg. 397 Yep something’s up

“Mortal upstart. Calling himself a baron. He will pay for what he did to my brother.” pg. 403 Marcone! This is the brother of the Formor from Even Hand

“Miss Gard freaked out about two minutes ago and all but carried out Marcone out of here. Security is mobilizing.” pg. 407 Why am I picturing Gard bride carrying or fireman carrying Marcone?

“Dammit,” I growled “What would Harry do?” pg. 409 WWHD Harry would make it up as he goes so you’re doing great at that part Molly

“Harry had once told me that when you had one problem, you had a problem. But when you had several problems, you might have several solutions.” pg. 409 Interesting

“Hey God” I whispered. “I know I haven’t been  around much lately, but if you could do me a solid here, it would be really awesome for a lot of people. Please let me be right.” pg. 419 Ha

“Harry. Alive.” pg. 431 Yay!

Cold Case

“My own clothing, I knew disappointed her gravely, but I was used to doing that to mother-figures.” pg. 435 Ouch poor Molly :(

Carlos!

“Harry Dresden has had a horrible influence on far too many people, and has much to answer for.” pg. 449 Ha

“I’d had recurring nightmares about it, in fact.”  pg. 450 Didn’t Harry also have nightmares about the wardens?

Elaine!

“Psychic interrogation” pg. 460 Oh no

“Warden do a lot of good.” He said quietly “It isn’t always pretty, what we do, but it needs to be done.” pg. 464 Wardens kill children Carlos

“He dealt with them on a continuous basis, after all, and in his studied opinion, if you had one problem, you had a problem. But if you had multiple problems, you might also have an opportunity. pg. 468 Call back to bombshell!

“God, I love hero work.” Carlos said as we stepped back out into the storm. “No murky gray area, no anguished questions, no conflicting mortality. Bad guys took some kids, and we’re gonna get’em out.” pg. 476 That does sound nice and I like how this shows the reader how young Carlos is

“Maybe if someone had offered a hand to the monsters, they wouldn’t have become monsters in the first place.” pg. 477 Yes!

“I was carrying pliers with me, so that I could take vampire teeth as trophies.” pg. 477 Carlos that’s not a good thing. That’s spoils of war or serial killer trophies and that’s bad.

“Mom taught me, She was scoutmaster for my brothers.” pg. 480 Cool

“Outsiders” pg. 481 Oh no

So Outsiders plus fisherman equals Call of Cthulhu

“Harry was a big believer in kicking in the teeth of whoever you planned to fight.” pg. 485 Ha and yes good tactics

“kicked the big double door off their hinges as if they’d been made of balsa and Scotch tape.

At which point I learned the real reason Harry keeps doing that.

It. Is. Awesome.” pg. 486 Ha

“And then I was sitting on the floor of the shower, shuddering, hot water pouring down around me.” pg. 499 What

“I looked down at the water. The drain stopper was down, and it was seven or eight inches deep.

And pink.” pg. 500 What happened?

Poor Carlos :(

Ok so Molly can’t have sex and the mantel will attack anyone who tries to have sex with her.

“You want me to take their children.” pg. 504 Oh no :(

Jury Duty

“Summons,” I said glowering. “It’s a freaking command. They want to see a real summoning is, I could show them.” pg. 513 Ha  and I can’t believe the government got Harry a summons. He died then came back from the dead and was homeless for a bit. There’s no way bureaucracy was this fast. There has to be scheming involved. String pulling from someone. Maybe Lara or Marcone?

“More had been set aside by the new owner of my old address, formerly Mrs. Spunkelcheif’s boardinghouse, and now the Better Future Society. I hadn’t been able to stomach asking the new owner for my mail, but Butters had gotten it for me.” pg. 513 Wait does this mean that Marcone kept Harry’s mail? How long did Marcone keep Harry’s mail? Even when Harry was dead? Was Marcone hoping Harry would come get them? What was the conversation between Butters and Marcone like?

“The government isn’t the mob, Harry.”

“Aren’t they?” I asked “Pay them money every year to protect you, and God help you don’t.” pg. 514 Ha

“Then a guy in a black muumuu showed up and reconnected the plot of My cousin Vinney.

Okay, it was a robe and the guy was the judge, and he gave us a brief outline of the format of the trial system, but it’s not nearly as entertaining to say it that way.” pg. 516 Ha

“The new kid was in his late twenties” pg. 517 Who let this kid be the prosecutor? He can’t be that out of law school.

“So where was his public defender?” pg. 518 He’s got the right to a public defender so where are they? Something’s up I’m suspicious

“Everyone stood up. After a second, so did I.

I guess you could say I’m not really a joiner.” pg. 518 Ha

“He held up a glossy professional headshot of a handsome man in his thirties and showed it to us.” pg. 520 Bi Harry 42

“drag a female child, Latino, around the age of ten, into the alley.” pg. 526 Oh

“Something did not add up here.” pg. 528 Yep

So let’s review the facts

Harry who’s died and come back from the died for less than a month only a gets a jury summons despite bureaucracy being slow.

The prosecutor is a new kid and not the DA.

The defense doesn’t have an attorney.

The victim was a stock broker.

The defendant is a tough guy who’s definitely been in fights before.

There is supposedly a child that the man kidnapped.

The defendant is more beat up than seems appropriate.

In conclusion I think that the fear eating Raiths are the victim was a stockbroker and not a ghoul got the girl and the defendant killed a White Court vampire. Then either Marcone or Lara stacked the jury to have Harry involved. They made it so the prosecution was a new guy and the defense doesn’t have a lawyer.

“Nobody was going to go bat for him.

Unless I did it.” pg. 529 Yep

“I started with Johnny Cash version of “Hurt” which was pretty simple. I sang along with it. I’m not good, but I can hit the notes and keep the rhythm going” pg. 533 This is nice and I miss Harry’s guitar and I wish he’d played more

“The door was locked.

It was also made of glass.

I smiled.” pg. 537 Ha

“Tania Raith” I knew a Raith was involved

“She wielded enormous influence in Chicago, maybe as much as the head of Chicago outfit, Gentleman Johnnie Marcone, gangster lord of the mean streets.” pg. 539 Marcone mention!

“Because you know what happened the last time some vampires abducted a little girl and I decided to take her back. pg. 539 Yep scary threat

“I believe Baron Marcone has recognized claim on this city. Or am I mistaken?” pg. 540 It’s their city

“Luther was one of Marcone’s soldiers.” pg. 540 Oh

“He pulled some strings to get me on the jury.” pg. 541 I knew strings were pulled

“Dammit Marcone had put me where there’d be a guy getting fast- tracked to an unjust sentence and known damn well how I’d react. He could have asked me for help, but I’d have told him to take a flying…leap. And he’d have known that. So he set it up without me knowing.” pg. 542 Marcone knows him so well

“What does Marcone mean to you? You don’t owe him anything. Why not sit down, have a drink, help me celebrate.” pg. 543 Tania asking the real questions

Riley doesn’t get paid enough

Tania really does need a babysitter.

“Goddamn supernatural assholes” pg. 550 Does she know? Does the Judge know?

Day one

“There were a great many letters in that, and not much that I understood” pg. 558 Ha

Lamar!

“The skull is very dangerous object.” He said “It doesn’t…understand love. It doesn’t understand faith.” pg. 568 Bob!

Fear monster

Harry!

“Polka will never die” pg. 587 Yes!

“You stand up and kick it in the fucking teeth” he said and there was a quiet certain power in his voice that had nothing to do with magic. “You’ve forgotten the most important thing a Knight needs to remember, Butters.”

“What’s that?” I breathed

“Knights of the Cross aren’t afraid of monsters” he said. “Monster are afraid of you. Act like it. Commit to it, hard. And have faith.” pg. 590 Such a good speech.

“But I had faith in my friends

One friend in particular.” pg. 590 My heart :)

“ Ehyeh ašer ehyeh” pg. 594 A quick google search shows that this means I Am Who I Am

Zoo Day

“The man who mostly shaped me was a sadistic monster, and by the time my grandfather came along, Ebenezar wasn’t parenting so much as enticing psychological damage control.” pg. 599 Aw poor Harry :(

“I really really wanted to get this right.” pg. 599 Aw

Of course Maggie likes Star Wars

“She was the most beautiful child I’d ever seen, but everyone thinks that about their kid.

 Maybe everyone is right.” pg. 601 Yes! and my heart :)

“What if I do it wrong?” pg. 601 My heart

“What if…I don’t know. What if I set something on fire?”

“Maybe we’ll roast some marshmallows” pg. 602 Don’t worry Maggie if anyone is going to set something on fire it’ll be Harry. And this marshmallow comment reminds be of the one in Changes

Oh a warlock

“I stared at the kid for a while.

I had been that kid for a while.” pg. 608 Poor Harry poor kid

“Then I did something I don’t do very often: I turned my back and walked away.” pg. 608 What

“She picked up a French fry and dipped it in a large mound of mustard. Not ketchup.

What?” pg. 610 What

“If someone needs your help, you help them.” Maggie said simply “Even when it’s really hard. Miss Molly told me that about you.” pg. 612 Yep

“If I hadn’t been so exhausted, I’d have been just one more warlock slain while resisting arrest.” pg. 613 Interesting

I like all the dad Harry content I’m getting to see

Ohhh we’re getting two perspectives.

Maggie!

“My dad was a pretty scary-looking guy if you didn’t know him.” pg. 621 Aw and it’s always interesting to see other characters perspective of Harry

“Sort of like how grown ups can’t see the creeps” pg. 624

“If I didn’t have to worry about turning into a complete spaz” pg. 625 Aw poor Maggie :(

“Must be because Dad was here, and he really, really liked dad.” pg. 624 Aw

“What if he thought I was, you know? Broken. What if he didn’t want a daughter who was all funny in the head?” pg. 629 Aw poor Maggie I just want to give Maggie a hug

“And then my dad’s head shot up like Mouse when he smells lighter fluid at the Carpenters house, and his eyes flicked around him like big, hungry bear looking for something to tear  into.” pg. 629 Ha

“He should have had his coat. It would have been all swirly, like Batman. Jeans and an old Battlestar Galactica T-shirt just didn’t make the same impression.” pg. 633 I’m glad Maggie likes the coat.

“I interrupted it by throwing salt into its black, empty eyes.” pg. 634 Go Maggie!

“Because what if Miss Molly had told me the kid-safe version of the truth about my dad? What if he wasn’t as good as she said he was? What if he didn’t want to take care of a daughter who had issues? Who was really hard to be around.” pg. 639 Aw poor Maggie

“Hey you, Space Face” pg. 640 Ha

“Good boy, Mouse” pg. 642 Yes good boy!

Mouse looks really cool

Oh interesting that Maggie knows Spanish

Poor Maggie

Three perspectives!

Mouse yes you’re a good dog!

“My Friend was worried he could not be a good father to a little girl, which is ridiculous-but if he wasn’t worried about it, he wouldn’t be the person he is” pg. 652 Aw

“Is my Friend awesome or what?” pg. 659 Yes he is

“My Shadow, it would seem” pg. 661 Interesting

“Brother” pg. 670 Interesting

“Needs must be done?” I asked. “Who talks like that? Honestly.” pg. 673 Ha

“An acquired habit. I can’t imagine where I learned it” pg. 673 Ha

“You are like the others, after all. His slave. I don’t deal with trivial matters. I care nothing for your broken wizard.” pg. 674 No Mouse and Harry are friends and what do you mean broken wizard?

“I assume you’ve never seen The Dark Knight.” pg. 674 Ha and of course Mouse has seen it :)

“I was raised by a wizard. When it comes to fighting, I tend to cheat whenever possible.” pg. 675 Ha

“I told you, everyone says I am a Good Boy and that means treats. But perhaps I would make more time to exercise when this was settled.” pg. 676 Ha

“There was nothing more I could do to help him. I would have to trust to fortune and the Almighty and Queen Mab and Odin and whatever other friendly Powers that might be watching that My Friend would, please, please, please be all right.” pg. 681 Ha

“But what he meant was Good Dog.” pg. 686 Yes!

Dresden files live blog

Monster

“Plus, I’m never sure when she’ll try to kill me again.

It’s complicated” I’m sorry what

Marcone!

“No Valkerye girl Friday?” Ha

Oh someone broke Marcone’s rule they’re gonna die

“There’s another person I could go to.

But even if he believed me and agreed to the job, he would complicate it unbearably. We’d be at war with Canada within the week. Somehow.” Ha and I assume they’re talking about Harry

“There was angels standing guard around another house not unlike this one not three blocks away.” Michael’s house!

“Oh. Yes. People.”

“I keep forgetting them” Viti what do you mean you ‘keep forgetting them’?

“Viti had been a survivor of a training program  whose members had, as the culmination of their training, been assigned to murder one another” Is Viti a red widow?

Poor kids :(

“Viti turned the gun on the kids, who flinched.” VITI NO

“Hey, you know how a nine-hundred-pound Bengal tiger gets into a locked room?

Any damned way it wants.” Ha

“The next day, Marcone, with his big dumb Einherjaren bodyguard.” Who is this bodyguard? Where’s Hendricks? Where’s Gard?

“But grapefruit juice?” Grapefruit? Really? Who willingly drinks grapefruit juice?

“Monster LLC calling for Harry Dresden,” she said “Please tell that there are children who need his help.” Of course they call Harry. This is right up his alley! 

Final thoughts

I liked these stories especially Even Hand and Zoo Days. I loved all the Marcone mentions and his story. I liked the fights and thought the stories were funny. I liked the different perspectives. I want to give Maggie and Harry hugs. I loved all the Dad Harry content I got in Zoo Days. There were so many Bi Harry moments in these. We’re up to 42 moments. Molly’s stories were sad :( Cool that beings exist that only kids can see. Not a fan of some of the things Luccio and Carlos say. I loved Butters first mission. I liked the monster story. I love what Marcone says about Harry. I love that Gary calls Harry. Overall I liked it.

Even Hand

My favorite story. I love the look into Marcone. I do wonder how John Marcone not being John’s Name will play out. Could this name be used against him or used in oaths? Does ‘John Marcone’ hold more weight than his given name now? Who knows his given name? Why did he change it? This does bring interesting ideas with his alliance with Mab and Vadderung. Him being a marine is interesting. Did Marcone serve a full time in the marine? Did he get honorably discharged? Dishonored? What was his rank? I liked how sarcastic Marcone is. He really is a good foil to Harry. I like the 2 Bi Marcone moments. I love that Harry has left such an impression on Marcone with the flimsy doors and the elaborate death trap. I like how Marcone saved both Justine and the kid. I love the Hendricks and Gard moment.

Onto Peace Talk

[taiblogcomics]

War of the Elseworlds

Hey there, undercover cops. It's pretty cold out lately, huh? Maybe some rage at Countdown will warm us up! What do you think~?

Here's the cover:

More like, "How to cancel Prime subscription". Look at this asshole posing here, like "Now this is a job for a whiny douchebag murderer." Like, this is a competently done cover, but I hate Superboy-Prime and I hate seeing him. At this point, anyone still reading Countdown is pretty much in it for the sunk-cost fallacy. No one's being sold Countdown based on what's on the covers, which is good, because anyone who's chomping at the bit to buy whatever comic Superboy-Prime graces the cover of, is not a human being I would like to meet~

Let's check for a recap. The Multiverse Crew are still available for streaming on Earth-51, despite Monarch's interference. Mary Marvel had her powers pulled and is now only available through the Themyscira service. Also airing on Themyscira is Holly Robinson and Harley Quinn, whose second season features a team-up with Queen Hippolyta. Pied Piper and Trickster dropped half its cast after escaping the Suicide Squad and is free to watch in the desert. Karate Kid and Una can be watched with ads through the Brother Eye attack. Jimmy Olsen has partnered with Forager after being pulled from Apokalips. And we're still doing weekly releases of Countdown~

If having a "heroic" pose of Superboy-Prime on the cover isn't enough to turn you off, the comic opens with a big close-up of his face screaming at the camera. He's also choke-slamming Forerunner into the wall, and Solomon calmly requests he stop doing so. He offers to show Primey the "perfect Earth" he's been seeking in exchange, and when he does so, he shows Prime the battle happening on Earth-51. Primey pulls another horrifying yelling face, screaming "THEY'RE RUINING IT!", and flies off, leaving Forerunner and Solomon behind.

Meanwhile, Ray Palmer and Kyle Rayner are flying off to meet up with Donna Troy. They forgot to add the effect of Kyle's ring, so it just looks like he and Ray are flying unsupported. We then also cut over to Wonder Girl-3 literally crying back home to Queen Plot-Unimportant, whining that Donna beat her up. Queenie just tells her to shape up and try again, which is when Wonder Girl reveals she's actually Donna Troy in disguise, apparently having stolen and dressed in Wonder Girl's clothes off-screen. So many of these plot points get away with happening off-screen.

So Donna attacks Queen Seriously-This-Is-Her-Last-Appearance-In-Anything-Ever, and it goes differently than their previous encounter, to Queenie's shock. She's surprised by Donna's ferocity, thinking she was a weak coward with no bloodlust. This is clearly untrue, and Donna beats her soundly. It's pretty unclear what the queen's fate actually is, but she's beaten into the ground, and all her bug soldiers immediately swear fealty to Donna. This might be helpful if it wasn't also their last appearance. Kyle and Ray show up just as all this finishes to offer a glib remark.

So that's the rest of the Multiverse Crew. What's Jason Todd up to, then? Well, whatever he said last time got through to Batman-51 apparently, as he's giving Jason some new gear. We get a lengthy suit-up montage while Bats explains he meant it for his Jason when he got older. But that never happened, so might as well put it to good use here. It's the Red Robin suit, which… this might take a minute of explanation as to its significance here, so enjoy this funny suit-up montage GIF while I clear the rest of the paragraph.

Okay, so then! There's a famous DC story called Kingdom Come. It takes place in a "near future", but it's technically an Elseworlds story. Even has its own multiverse designator, I believe. So even though this future will never become the DC universe's actual present day, writers love to keep dropping references and hints to it, especially around this time. Red Robin was the future Dick Grayson's identity, having succeeded his mentor and joined the Justice League in that timeline. Now it's been passed as Jason Todd's new identity! From Red Hood to Red Robin!

Aside from that, Nix Uotan, the Monitor for Earth-51, is out blasting guys while also narrating his thoughts. He figures he brought this on himself by raising his Earth too perfectly, so everyone got envious of it. That's why Monarch is using it as a battleground. And while he's grudgingly admitting Monarch's troops are well=picked, who should show up but Batman-51 and Red Robin? I'm just going to keep calling him Jason, though. He and Batman jump out of a plane, and Bats comments that Jason used to crack jokes. He replies that nowadays he just cracks heads. Ba-dum-tchh.

Well, while they beat up a few of the errant supervillains in Monarch's army (rather brutally, too), they note that they might be a bit over their heads at the scope of the larger army. That's when Donna Troy shows up and actually does lead her new bug servants into battle against the rest of them. Wow, this could almost be exciting, except that this is their last appearance in the series, like I said. And the comic ends with a full-page splash of Superboy-Prime landing in front of Monarch, set on whining some more about how he's ruined everything. I'd turn that back around on him, but this comic was ruined way before Primey showed up~

Yep! This sure is another issue of Countdown. Like, this whole section of the story is just fight scenes. Which means my summary goes pretty quick, but it also doesn't leave a lot else to talk about. Like, I guess I'm disappointed that Superboy-Prime's back in the story, that's unfortunate. But it's one little thing on this mostly nothing salad. Frankly, the Kingdom Come tangent was the most interesting thing in this issue, and technically it's not even in this issue! At least it's almost done! We're in the last quarter of the story after this, can you imagine~?

[stockpilelena]

Day 51 Lena Challenge

Some side character examples of my in-universe excuse to have chimera furries. These particular mortals have been imbued with physical manifestations of their Divinities, mostly from the domains of Theras, the God of Balance and Corran, the God of Survival. Unlike most Divinities, these physical traits aren't invoked like activating a power, they're inherently attached to the individual and grow with them permanently. Known as Terrans amongst their kin, but unkindly referred to as Beastians by others in both Alexandria and the Belrhin Empire, these people generally are considered a lesser race despite their natural prowess against the elements and tendency for high strength and endurance. Unlike many Divinities, Terrans have the unique ability to genetically pass on their powers, though it is not always guaranteed. A Terran and a non-Terran may have a child together, but it does not mean necessarily that the child will be born with a Terran Divinity.

These two, Aida and Scheer, are sisters, with Scheer being the eldest. They are former slaves from a Royalblood family in the Belrhin Empire that sought refuge in the nation known as The Union Collective or commonly referred to as The Peacelands by those who flee their oppressors. The Union Collective is commanded and protected by the Baroness, Lady Mara, called the Terran Allmother for her protectiveness over her kind who have been discriminated and enslaved. After fleeing the Belrhin Empire, the two felt eternally grateful for Mara's protection and swore an oath to fight for her and their country. Aida works as her right hand, focusing on both her skills as an elite warrior for the Baroness and as her bookkeeper while Scheer who has more combat-oriented skills, works in the background, aiding the underground networks that work to free other Terran slaves.

They take on the form of pretty much whatever suits their living requirements, so in terms of Terran designs, they're kind of open-season chimeras with no specific rules other than if you got a physical mutation, it's likely a Terran Divinity. Some end up more like humanoids, others more like their animal counterparts.

[syntia13treeman]

Case files 08.01

what I think happened in:

Case 08.01,

the case of "Time of the Hungry Architecture" or "There are no missing persons in Forton Service Station."

Ok, I've had twinges of suspicion in some earlier episodes, but now it's a certainty. There are some Time Shenanigans afoot! Not time travel per se, but time asynchronicity for sure.

But let us start at the beginning, with Terrance Stevens (51) who recently went through a messy divorce, lost most of his friends in the process, and rather than going down the rabbit hole of workaholism/alcoholism/etc, decided to practice some self-care. He ditched his high-stress job in finances and became a janitor (less money but also less stress), and for a bit of intellectual challenge he enrolled in a university course. Good for you, my dude!

Downside of this – I imagine there are not many opportunities to bond with co-workers at a service station, and most if not all his fellow students are bound to be half his age, so he likely didn't make any new friends to replace the old ones. This is important, because I believe that lack of connections made him extra vulnerable to the spookies.

As Terrance later explained in his paper, his new place of employment, Forton Services, can be considered a site of brutal liminalism (TM). It's a cold and uninviting place, where there is a constant stream of people who want to be somewhere else, and where time has little to no meaning (open 24/7 and not a clock in sight).

In a place like this, reality might start to wear a little bit thin. Time and space might get a little bit warped. A little bit distorted. And not a little bit hungry.

And Terrance, lonely, sad and isolated Terrance, looked like a perfect meal.

It crept up on him over the course of few days. Without ever realising, he was being pulled somewhere else for increasingly long periods of time. (From his point of view, it seemed like there were less people around. There weren't. Terrance just didn't see most of them, because he wasn't there). It kept happening, until the fateful night, when Terrance phased out of reality for good. (For awhile).

Where did he go? Someplace almost here but not quite, where time was just a little bit out of sync with ours. Not by much. Just enough that the people and cars moving around started looking to him like a colourful blur. (Like stepping into a time-lapse picture).

Spooked by the (seeming) absence of people and strange visuals, Terrance ran right into the waiting trap elevator (defunct here, but working there). He was greeted by a too thin woman with name-tag that wasn't actually name-tag (it read You Are Here). She took him up to the (not)functioning restaurant at the top of the Pennine Tower (20m high).

There, in what seemed to be a 60s themed restaurant, he saw a crowd of people* who looked like they were AI generated (with key prompt words being thin&malnourished) sitting at the tables, not-eating and not-chatting. The chef, wearing another 'you are here' name-tag greeted him with a cheerful "You are here! Stay awhile!"

As first reaction, Terrance moved to sit at a nearby table.** (Everyone turned to watch).

As second reaction, Terrance showed admirable self-preservation instinct and tried to get the hell out of there. Sadly the door he'd entered through weren't there any more, the windows, he just noticed, were empty holes leading into black nothingness, and all the 'guests' moved to grab him, repeating after the chef: "Stay awhile!" (It was not a greeting this time. Nor was it a request).

After this, things escalated quickly. The hungry crowd closed in on Terrance and started biting him (the chef munched one of his fingers whole). Not quite ready to become dinner, Terrance punched and kicked his way free and with no hesitation jumped out the not-window.

Somewhere between the window-hole and hitting the ground, he re-entered the normal timestream, and some kind soul called in paramedics to treat his injuries. Which, for the record, were classified as fall damage by said paramedics and I find it either sus or hilarious. Sirs, these are bite-marks. How many teeth does your average building/pavement have? (To be fair, maybe the hungry crowd didn't master the teeth just yet. Maybe they need to take an anatomy course or something).

It is unclear how much time passed here while Terrance was NOT-here. It wasn't the Rip Van Winkle's 'one nap = 20 years', since he managed to submit his paper the same year it was assigned, but it was apparently long enough that he felt that someone should have reported him as missing. The fact that no-one did can have two explanations:

Very mundane if sad 'no-one cares about you enough to notice your extended absence, buddy'.

Part of the Pennine Tower's whole thing is that people who were pulled in-there are not remembered out-here, at least for as long as they remain in-there. A good hunting strategy, actually. If you were an immobile ambush predator, you wouldn't want potential pray to realize that fellow humans die here, would you.

To finish the story - Terrance immediately quit his janitor job, rationalized his experience as psychotic episode brought about by bad influence of hostile architecture, wrote a paper about it (submitted 12 July 2023 - late; failed) and, hopefully, moved on with his life.

Things of note:

*This is the second time we were introduced to a group of nameless, copy-pasted not-quite-people, prone to repeating cheerful, positive phrases. Colour me intrigued.

**I wonder what would have happened if Terrance took his place at the table. Maybe even tried some food he was offered. Was he always going to end up as the main course, or would he be assimilated, turned into one more thin, hungry guest, forever waiting for a new meal to walk in the door?

I keep going back and forth between 'the tower is a predator that creates human-facsimiles as part of its digestive system' and 'the not-people made the tower their home because they liked the brutalism vibe (or it was just a convenient spot)'.

I rather hope we'll see the Pennine Tower again. It's such a distinctive landmark. And the land is definitely marked.

There sure are a lot of mentions of hunger and food in this podcast, eh? Wonder what could it mean.