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but-what-if-we · 4 months ago

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Bliss

Sitting in the breakfast nook near the kitchen, the larger form sips from a steaming cup of coffee gazing out of the window admiring the rays of sunlight breaking through the cloudy morning. The coffee was freshly made along with the almond cherry muffins cooling on the nook's polished wood countertop. The earthy smells that filled the room were among the larger forms favorites, the types of favorites that you could smell everyday without any form of fatigue. Taking a brief moment, the form becomes lost in thought. Thoughts of how happy they are with their life, how they finally feel like they have purpose and how good it feels to be with the smaller form, encouraging them and supporting them throughout this crazy thing called life.

The larger form snaps back into the moment after hearing the sounds of a door opening accompanied by soft footsteps.

Good morning beautiful, I made muffins and if you want I can make you some coffee that won’t at all taste like coffee.

The larger form motions to the muffins as the messy haired smaller form groggily moves into the kitchen. The smaller form takes a warm muffin from the basket on the countertop joining the larger form in the nook, kissing the larger form’s cheek as they sit.

Good morning, do you remember that “coffee” you made for me last sunday? The one with chocolate and vanilla, that one wasn't too bitter. I’d like to try it again. Did you use regular coffee or espresso last time?

The larger form rises from their place at the nook, planting a kiss on the top of the messy haired smaller form, moving into the kitchen to gather the ingredients to make the smaller form their drink. They add water to the small espresso maker to use the steaming wand built into it, prep the cup with chocolate syrup and a small amount of vanilla syrup before grabbing milk from the fridge and placing it into the milk foamer.

Last time I did use regular coffee but it was a medium roast. We have a few options for medium roasts and I picked up vanilla and toffee flavored light roasts for you to try. Do you have a preference on which I use?

The larger form holds up several small bags of coffee, doing their best to display all of them at the same time. The smaller form looks for a moment and points to the toffee flavored light roast as they munch on a piece of muffin.

Let me try the toffee flavored one. Honey this muffin is really good, how early did you wake up to make these? Please tell me you didn't stay awake just to make these muffins.

A slight look of concern passes over the smaller form’s face as they move to stand from their spot in the nook. The smaller form moves into the kitchen as the larger form prepares their coffee, wrapping their arms around the middle of the larger form hugging them from behind.

The larger form, pausing the drink preparation, turns in the embrace so that they are facing the smaller form, meeting their slightly concerned gaze with their own loving one. That the smaller form is vocal about their worries for the larger form's health and wellbeing is a gift the larger form will never take for granted.

I did sleep for a few hours, I just fell asleep in my computer chair and when I woke up to get some water you were already sound asleep so I got another hour on the couch. By the time I woke up that time it was early enough that I thought muffins would be a good idea and these turned out really well.

The larger form leans into the stretching smaller form, lips matching together like puzzle pieces and arms squeezing gently but with the firm message to never let go. The smaller form places their hand on the cheek of the larger form, a loving smirk now adorning their face they turn and return to the nook pulling out their phone beginning to scroll through social media occasionally announcing something interesting they had found. The larger form completes the smaller form’s drink after a few minutes, placing it on the polished counter for the smaller form before returning to the kitchen to make themself another drink. The two forms sit, chatting together in their own quiet little section of life, enjoying each other's company, affection, and presence.

#oc #writing #Two Forms

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but-what-if-we · 4 months ago

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Cloudy

The sky was gray when Larger Form awoke, foreshadowing the mood of the day. LF’s room was modest in size, they didn't need much, decorated with movie posters of some of their favorites, a few floating shelves displaying trinkets and oddities with the two small bookshelves next to the doorframe. Everything in the room was primarily dark colors punctuated by glass or the neon lights of the pc on the black glass desk situated in the corner near the large window. Mustering the will to move out of bed, LF steps to the window moving aside the sheer curtains taking in the light, but darkening gray sky.

Hmmm, soup day.

Moving into the black and steel colored kitchen, LF begins to assemble the necessary pots they would need to make their own broth. Opening the cabinet they pause, standing to view over the island countertop to look into the living room for any signs of the typical “nest” of the Smaller Form. Seeing no signs of a Switch, drawing tablet, phone charger, or typical blankets LF reaches down into the cabinets noisily removing a large pot, placing it on the electric stove top built into the island countertop in the center of the kitchen. Turning to the coffee maker next to the fridge LF presses a couple of buttons before grabbing their favorite mug hanging from the hooks affixed to the underside of the cabinets that lined the walls above the sink. Leaning against the sink as they wait for their coffee to finish brewing, LF’s gaze is locked onto another mug hanging from the hooks. This mug belonged to Smaller Form and as they looked at this mug they couldn't help but become lost in thought.

How did I get here? How did my life manage to turn out this way? What did I do to deserve this bliss?

Each thought is punctuated by vivid memories that do their best to serve those questions answers but a constant in each memory is the Smaller Form. When they had first met LF was not in a good place with themself, struggling with anxiety, depression, and their identity. SF became a pillar of positivity in LF’s life showing them that there was more out there and being there by LF’s side while they did the hard work of self improvement and discovery. In a way SF dragged LF out of their pit of isolation and doubt, showing them light once again and since then they have always been friends. A smirk slides across LF’s face as they bask in fond memories of days and years gone by filled with adventures, exciting and mundane with SF, memories they wouldn't trade for anything in existence.

In a soft warm mound of blankets Smaller Form shifts, maneuvering their head out of an opening in the mass of cloth. Blinking sleepy eyes they look around in an attempt to understand what is different about their surroundings. How did they end up on the floor? Didn't they lay down in bed last night? The gray cloudy sky did little to illuminate the pastel colored room of SF but the nightstand lamp was enough for the moment. Unwrapping themself from the mound of cloth, SF could already smell the bitter scent of coffee in the air signaling that LF was also awake, they put on a pair of shorts and a fresh oversized t-shirt before grabbing their phone and heading into their bathroom for the morning routine. Smaller Form looking into the mirror while brushing their teeth takes a moment to look at one of the decorations that dot the edges and corners of the large mirror. One in particular stands out this morning, a sticker of a single open eye colored neon green, a gift from LF in the early days of their friendship and a reminder that SF can just be themself regardless of who is beholding them.

With the sticker fresh in their mind SF makes their way into the living room, seeing LF standing unmoving leaning against the sink staring at the different mugs hanging from the decorative hooks above the sink. It isn't all that uncommon for LF to be lost in thought but SF always thought it was a bit creepy watching LF stay so completely still that their body would ever so slightly start to sway. The tile of the kitchen was cold against SF’s bare feet as they moved next to LF, placeing a hand on the small of their back, something that always seemed to bring LF back to earth. Seeing the small smirk on LF’s face turn into a full smile quelled any fears that they might be subject to bad thoughts, the small touch turning into a hug from the back. Pressing themself into the softness of LF’s body, SF thinks about how lucky they are to have a friend so devoted to them as to follow them anywhere, always being here for them when they are needed, and understanding when space is needed. The caring between them was strong, so strong that to an outside observer it might appear that they were in a romantic relationship but in reality that is not the kind of relationship they had. What they had together was enough.

Instinctively at the familiar touch of SF, LF turns in the hug so that they might return embrace with embrace, resting their cheek momentarily atop SF’s head before replacing their cheek with a kiss.

“Good morning, did you sleep well?”

Straightening LF reaches to grab the mug they had been transfixed by moments ago, placing it next to a tin of SF’s favorite hot chocolate. It was from a small locally owned bakery, one that LF had never heard of and one that they had yet been able to find. The tin was black metal with the only branding for the bakery being a pink circle with a large toothy smile.

“Floor”, the muffled voice of SF warm against LF’s chest.

Glancing around LF’s ribcage, SF spots the pink smile of their favorite hot chocolate, smiling as they return their face into the chest of LF squeezing a little tighter. SF has always been amazed by LF’s ability so seemingly feel when they were having an off or “goopy” day but SF knew how observant tends to be. So observant that they sometimes are blind to what is going on in themself but SF understood LF enough to know they have a process just like they had their own to work through things. They both had similar struggles in identity, mental health, and sexuality though none of these struggles were exactly the same for the both of them , they were close enough that discussing what they had learned, thoughts and feelings had good insights for their own experiences. One of the best things about LF was that SF always felt seen.

“Have you seen outside? It looks like how I feel right now” SF says, reaching a hand up to place on LF’s cheek, motioning for them to lower themself. The kiss SF plants on LF’s neck could be described as less “kiss” and more “prelude to biting” but that was normal for them. Kissing was something the two of them discussed, often both having different views on the action but were able to form boundaries from those discussions.

“Let me finish this” SF says motioning to the hot chocolate in progress, “could you go into my room and grab my macbook for me? I need to answer some emails before it gets any later .” Releasing LF, SF moves around them to finish the enticing warm drink.

“Of course” LF says, placing another kiss atop SF’s head. Walking down the hallway into the blue pastel colored room LF immediately knew his task was going to be more difficult than anticipated. SF wasn’t what you would consider tidy but they are very clean so the mass of organized chaos hiding the macbook and charger LF is looking for is buried somewhere in this mass of clothes and blankets. Clothes baskets piled high placed at the end of SF’s bed, stacks of books flanking either side of the wooden desk near the window, sweatshirts and hoodies mixed with blankets covering the floor and bed, the room was disorganized to say the least but well cared for. Finding the charger was easy enough as it was plugged into the wall but following the cord into a bundle of blankets on the floor revealed no macbook. Collecting the charger and looking around, LF takes in all of the memories SF has on display in their room. They move over to the wooden desk picking up a framed photo of SF and LF cheek to cheek both with big joyful smiles, taken the day they had first met all those years ago. Once again lost in thought, LF didn’t perceive the approach of SF.

Steaming mug in one hand and macbook held in the other, SF watches the watcher lost in thought again. Reminiscing about the past no doubt.

“I remember that day like it was yesterday, we were both so shy to finally meet each other but it took you so long to get comfortable” SF teasingly giggles before taking a sip of their hot chocolate. “ That day is a memory I will always keep close to my heart” SF says, putting their mug and macbook on a shelf next to them. Sidling up next to LF, SF intertwines their arms together placing a small kiss on the back of LF’s hand. “ It was a cloudy day like today and right after the picture it started to drizzle on us so we had to duck into that pavilion that was nearby. Being stuck in that rain like we were was one of the best parts of that day, listening to the rain fall around us while we talked about us, our dreams, the future, and just nurtured the bond we had. It was lovely.”

Returning the photo to its place on the desk, LF wraps their arms around SF for a short but meaningful and impassioned hug. “I remember crying a lot during that conversation in the rain. I was so used to watching that I didn't realize how good it would feel to be seen even though at first it was a little uncomfortable to realize I was in the spotlight for once but with you that spotlight felt safe.” LF tries unsuccessfully to hide the wobble in their voice as the memory of that emotionally charged moment washes over them as if to summon the emotions that were felt in the moment.

SF holds tight to LF for a moment before letting go to reclaim the items they had sat down on the nearby shelf but as they do their stomach gives off a low rumble, impressive for one of their small size.

“Oof, I need to get something in me before Iend up eating you” SF says, jokingly to LF as they move to leave the SF’s room.

“I would let you eat me as long as I can watch,” LF says, wide smile on their face.

#oc #writing #Two Forms

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