#Tw ed

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.  

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country. 

For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko. 

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[hungriestofbears]

Hi tw eating disorder talk BUT all the discourse on how the female hostages "didn't look starved" is pissing me off. I struggled with an eating disorder in the past and at one point was eating 500 calories a day. What I learned was that EVERY BODY REACTS DIFFERENRLY TO STARVATION. There is a looong list of symptoms that could happen, and you won't necessarily experience all of them. My hair never thinned or fell out despite becoming underweight and nutrient deficient. I still "looked helathy" because fat stayed on certain parts of my body, but I lost tons of fat on other parts of my body. You don't necessarily lose ALL your stomach fat if you're underweight.

People have been bringing up "refeeding syndrome" but the human body is INCREDIBLY resilient in terms of starvation and can deal better than you think. I survived off of less than 1,000 calories a day for months and months at my worst with my eating disorder. Because my metabolism had slowed down so much, I was able to gain 5 lbs in a week once I was eating normally again. Giving the girls more food 3 weeks prior to their return realistically could have given them 10-15 lbs back. These are from MY LIVED EXPERIENCES tyvm.

[imsofreakingtired]

I saw a request about anorexia comfort and I just wanted to ask could I possibly ask for sevika x reader bulimia comfort? That’s what I struggle with so I just wanted to request that.

If not that’s totally okay and thank you!

-🖤🖤🖤

all my love and support to you 💙 please let me know if any of this is inaccurate, offensive, or upsetting - i drew from a combination of my own past experiences with an ed and external research. and thank you for the request; i know struggling with an ed can be an isolating experience and i really hope this brings at least a little comfort 💙 💙 💙 💙

disclaimer: not meant to be an alternative to therapy obviously!! please reach out for support, i know it's hard but i believe you can do it loves <33 and as always if this content may be triggering to you, please scroll away and take care!!

breathe

content warning(s): depictions of an ed, body dysmorphia, heavy angst, hurt/comfort

"days pull you down just like a sinking ship memories swim and haunt you but look into the lake, shimmering like smoke rises the moon oh, close your weary eyes, i promise you that soon the autumn comes to darken fading summer skies breathe, breathe, breathe."

~~~

Sevika is not alarmed when you tell her about your eating disorder, which you reveal after you have been seeing her for nearly a month. she does not judge you. she has noticed the signs already, but didn’t want to assume anything, bring it up before you did. Sevika remembers the darkest period of her life: sixteen and feeling like the world played her like a marionette, when the stress of her environment triggered her binges. then the guilt. then the self-loathing. then the desperate need to erase what she had done. she remembers lifting for hours until her arms gave out. running 5 miles a day in a sweat suit. tracking calories. balancing food on scales. when you tell her you are going through the same thing, her heart sinks. she had been hoping her instincts were wrong. she had been hoping against hope, because she knows how hard it is.  

⟢🖤⟢ her fear for you, her worries about your health, sometimes manifests in ways she doesn’t mean to. she has never backed away from honest conversations. she asks you up front: have you eaten? have you thrown up? she can tell immediately if you lie to her about it, and it hurts her to think that you’re unwilling to tell her the truth, be open about it to her. sometimes her frustration at herself for being unable to help you causes her to be harsher. she tries sitting you down and telling you that what you’re doing will hurt you badly. she can’t stand being away from you for too long, she can barely sleep at night, wondering if you’re binging again, wondering if you’re punishing yourself again.   

⟢🖤⟢

she silently keeps track of the physical signs. she sees you sizing up every plate of food. she sees you obsessively reading the nutrition labels. she sees how you avoid going out to eat with people, how you always opt for something different for date nights, anything that isn’t eating together. she sees your exhaustion, the swelling in your face. you can hide it from everyone else—you can hide it from the world—but Sevika loves you too much to let a single detail escape her. 

⟢🖤⟢

beats herself up honestly, especially after realizing that sometimes she could be a trigger—an offhand word, a change in her tone, a spike of irritation. you don’t blame her for this: everyone has their bad days, and sometimes the two of you argue. she wishes she could do more for you, wishing she could take away the thoughts that cause you to spiral and hurt yourself. 

⟢🖤⟢

Sevika is confounded at first when you tell her candidly about your issues with body image, because to her you are the most beautiful perfect being who ever existed. it makes her furious at whatever caused you to think otherwise. maybe it was a history of bullying at school. maybe it was your mother’s thoughtless comments on your body. maybe it was the media, constantly telling you that your body is imperfect. maybe it is not your body at all, but the sense of control and discipline that comes from regulating the food, the erasure of food. Sevika’s first response is always to fight. she’s sworn to herself that she will protect you from the world, that she can keep you safe by the strength of her fists. but when the threat is something untouchable, something inside your head, she feels helpless. so she becomes more physically protective than ever. calling you several times a day just to hear your voice. kissing you, touching you, holding you more often, as if to reassure you of how much she adores you.   

⟢🖤⟢

she picks up on your triggers for b/p cycles and does her best to interfere with them. she notices that your routine is to restrict throughout the day, return home, where the stress and hunger of the day triggers a binge. so she shows up at your door around the same time you return home and asks if you want to go on a walk. if you’re too tired, she stays with you and makes you soup. if you say you can’t eat it, she will not pressure you. but she stays, thinking maybe if she’s there to watch over you, she can keep you from going into the cycle again.

⟢🖤⟢

there are stretches of time where you leave the cycle. Sevika marks the days on slips of paper to keep track of your progress and gives them to you with a proud look in her eyes. you don’t want to relapse for her sake, but you’re also terrified of recovering completely. you’re scared that if you let yourself recover, your body will change—it will gain back the weight you have been controlling, and you’re scared Sevika will not find you attractive anymore. one night you give into the thoughts. and when Sevika finds you on the bathroom floor, hovering over the toilet bowl, she says nothing but pulls you into her arms. 

i’m sorry, you whisper. 

shh. it’s okay, sweet thing. just breathe. 

she brings you water and rubs your back as you drink it. you wonder what you look like to her. you wonder if she is already planning to leave. another apology rises to your lips but you swallow it. Sevika doesn’t say anything for a long time, she just sits with you. then in a low voice, she speaks. 

i used to have the same habit. 

you look at her in surprise. 

yeah, she says, with a deep sigh. god, it was a million years ago, but i still remember those days. i’d sneak down into the kitchen when my parents were asleep. ate anything i could find. then punished myself the next day. 

her hand finds your knee, bent against your chest as you curl into yourself tightly. her warm grip grounds you. i’m telling you this because i want you to know… she pauses. …that i get it. 

you tell her, i’m scared. 

i know, baby. 

you say, i might change. you might not want me anymore. 

she looks you in the eyes. brushes the hair away from your face, leans forward, and gives you a long kiss on your forehead. you’re perfect, she says, her voice rough. you hear me? i will always, always want you. every shape. every side of you. 

a sob breaks from your lips. you lean into her, and she cradles your body with her own. kissing your hair, she gives you a promise. 

it’s not easy. but i’ll be with you the entire way. every damn step.

⟢🖤⟢

-thank you @hexthathoe for the req <3

-divider by @enchanthings-a

[momozilliness]

gonna try to stop being junkorexic for a lil bit and eat more volume foods bcs apparently eating six oreos as an omad isnt the best for my sanity :3

[xxbl33d1ngb0y2xx]

seeing teenagers on here “getting into ana” makes me so mad

not even mad at them, just mad at the fact that this disorder is viewed as a diet or a lifestyle change that’s totally up to your choice and the way it’s romanticized. being seven years into anorexia at 16 is so weird because i feel like ive been condemned to this, i’m already at the point where my ugw is my only goal in life, ive already tried and failed at recovery, ive already been from bmi 19 to 13 to 24 to now 22 and going back down. this disorder is my life, it’s all-consuming, and the idea that there are people my age “getting into ana” breaks my fucking heart. i just want to shake them by the shoulders and tell them they don’t have to do this shit. and at the same time i’m jealous of them because they’re further along in life than i was and they’ll probably be out of it faster. they’ll be new enough to it that they can still hit their life milestones and end up replacing it with the need to live and take responsibility, which i will probably never be able to do. it’s not necessarily and issue of severity, but longevity. i’m not old enough or far enough into my ed to be in the severe and enduring category but i don’t doubt that i will if i don’t die before that. but statistically, sixteen year olds “getting into ana” are not likely to be in that category. and even if they do, the people on the coquette girl blogging aesthetic side of edblr don’t expect to. they don’t know what they’re condemning themselves to if they do stay in it long term and as much as i hate that, part of me wants it, i want to be able to romanticize this shit i wish i didn’t know what the long term side effects are but i do because a lot of it’s happening to me now and i wish i could be a crazy anorexic druggie delinquent teen like from the movies who romanticizes their life and does whatever they want and not have to face the consequences until i grow up but i got into all of this shit way too early and now i feel like my life has run its short and shitty course already and there’s no point to anything.

[gallus-rising]

important observation on Tallman!Chilchuck

he has visible ribs and cheekbones, his limbs are pretty skinny, and Laios' shirt is relatively baggy on him

add in this panel from the mimic fight + a bit of trivia from the Adventurer's Bible

that man is not eating enough! he is malnourished! the dungeon crawling lifestyle has caused Chilchuck to develop disordered eating habits, if not a full on ED!!

[bombasticbones]

I am not jealous I am not jealous I am not jealous

[starving-marauder-lover]

ok obligatory notes post

uhh tw for ed and depression

1 note i’ll tell my boyfriend how amazingly handsome he is

15 notes i’ll work on my school work (doing it now cause i need to :p)

30 notes ill work on my math project

50 notes i’ll go to sleep at a reasonable time

100 notes i’ll eat lunch at school at least 3 days a week

200 notes i’ll start writing microfics again

250 notes i’ll start a long(ish) fic

500 notes i’ll talk to my therapist about my dysphoria

750 i’ll talk to my therapist about how i think i have ADHD

1000 notes i’ll talk to my therapist about how my eating troubles coming back

1500 notes i’ll talk to my therapist about how i think i have an ed and be truthful about it

2500 notes i’ll talk to my friends about how im getting depressed again (it’s really high cause this is how i lost all my friends last time)

uh ok rule

5 comment/reblog max

idc if you mention a ton of people in ur reblogs tho :)

green=finished

orange=working on it

[hakeem0n]

seeing pictures of myself at my lw and realising I no longer look like that:

[she-whodreams]

Im back fellas

[daisyjohnsn]

You worried about today? No, I'm just… thinking about what presents I'm gonna get.

HEARTSTOPPER 3.05 | Winter

[celestial-fang]

End of 2023 vs 2024

Kicking anorexia’s ass by gaining muscle

[lostalice404]

need friends

i need friends to lose weight with no softies plzs

[luvanamia]

I want to be scary thin

I want people to be worried

I want to be sick

I want to be beautiful

I want to stop eating completely

I want to be skinny

I want a BMI of 13

[dead-dove-doesnt-eat]

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FOOD IN YOUR HAND AND MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME!!!

Put the protein bar down between bites! Wipe your hands off before that second handful of popcorn! (Or eat popcorn with chopsticks!) Set down the fork and put your hands in your lap while chewing! Come on!

[rottenpigg]

if i looked like her i wouldn't want to km$ every day.