#Trust me I know we have a long way to go with getting meds to work properly

[3t22]

I love you medicine. I love you drugs. I love you prescription medications. I love you antidepressants. I love you antipsychotics. I love you mood stabilizers. I love you anticonvulsants. I love you tranquilizers. I love you barbiturates. I love you hypnotics. I love you narcotics. I love you steroids. I love you antihistamines. I love you antibiotics. I love you blood thinners. I love you beta blockers. I love you every other drug that I've failed to mention. I love you drugs made in laboratories and with chemicals that we have created with our own hands.

I love you every single person on a prescription medication that you hate. I love you every single person on a prescription medication that you love. I love you every single person on a prescription medication that you'd rather live without. I love you every single person on a prescription medication that you're so thankful for helping you survive and/or function.

[phagodyke]

venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍

haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(

[headkiss]

hello! a summer request for my sweet hotch, maybe him taking care of reader's allergies or a cute picnic date (jack included)

hope you have a lovely day sweetheart 🩷

hiii tysm for your request!! hope you’re having a lovely day too angel 🫶 so sorry it’s not summer anymore but hopefully you still enjoy! | 0.8k words of fluff!!

Aaron is not known to take many days off, but summer seems to get him out of the office more than any other season. Even more so ever since he met you.

More again as soon as he introduced you to Jack, to the most important person in his life. Jack liked you immediately, and he never stops asking when he’ll see you next. Though there’s a void left behind by Haley that will never quite be filled, you all know it, but your presence in both of the Hotchner’s lives has brightened them in ways Aaron doesn’t think you could understand.

It’s why, today, he’s taken the day off on purpose. He’d even gone as far as to tell the team not to call him unless absolutely necessary. He trusts them, and they bug him to take breaks more than anyone, anyways.

There’s a classic red and white gingham blanket spread beneath you on the grass, the sun bright in the sky and saturating the park around you.

Aaron’s barely unpacked the snacks before Jack is jumping up and asking his dad for permission to go play.

“Only where I can see you,” Hotch says, “okay, buddy?”

“I know, dad!” Jack’s already running off before you can even tell him to have fun.

Aaron watches his son go, squinting in the sun, keeping an eye on Jack until he’s made it to a small group of other kids by the slide before turning back to you.

You’re scrunching your nose and rubbing at your eyes when he does, and Aaron frowns a little when you sniffle.

Always far too observant, he tilts his head at you and asks, “You okay, honey?”

You nod, because you really are.

You’ve had allergies for most of your life, you think, so it’s nothing to worry about. It’s just annoying. You’d woken up and could already tell it was a bad day for them, less air passing through your nose, your eyes itchy.

But days like these—the ones with Aaron and Jack and beautiful weather and nobody working—are rare, and you’d never be caught giving up time with your people just because of some allergies.

“I’m fine, just my allergies.” You smile at him and grab a nacho from the spread, dipping it into the layered salsa from the grocery store and popping it into your mouth.

“Why didn’t you tell me they were acting up?” Hotch asks, thumb wiping a bit of salsa from the corner of your mouth gently without a thought. Sweet and subconscious.

“Because you would’ve made me stay in bed and bring me soup like it was the flu,” you say, knee bumping his. “I’m out of meds, but I didn’t wanna miss this. Jack was so excited and I was, too. I love being with you guys.”

And fuck, Aaron’s heart squeezes in his chest at the way you speak so fondly about him and Jack, like they’re your own family. At how you’re willing to be uncomfortable just to keep plans intact.

He trails a knuckle down your bare arm, all the way down until he catches your hand and gives it a squeeze. “We don’t have to stay long.”

“I know,” you scoot closer and drop your head against his shoulder.

It’s only twenty minutes later, and after many sneezes (and ‘bless you’s from Aaron), he’s packing up the picnic and not letting you argue it. Your eyes are reddened and watery, and he can hear how stuffy your nose is by your voice, and he doesn’t want you to feel worse.

And maybe he likes the idea of getting to take care of you over something small like this. How domestic it is.

“Alright, let’s go home, yeah?” Aaron pats your thigh softly. “I know you wanted to tough it out, but i can tell it’s bugging you. There’s a pharmacy down the street, we’ll stop for meds.”

There’s no sense fighting him when your allergies are bugging you, when he’s so stubborn with his plans, with how kind the tone of his voice is.

“Okay. Maybe we can watch a movie when we get back? Jack can pick since we’re making him leave early.”

“You sure?” Aaron raises his eyebrows. “He’s gonna make us watch Big Hero 6 for the hundredth time, you know?”

“I know that you secretly love that movie.”

“That wore off at the tenth watch, honey.”

You laugh, then sneeze, and Aaron shakes his head at you fondly before calling Jack back over and promising to buy him a candy bar at the pharmacy for cutting his game short.

The candy bar is long gone by the time you’re all settled on the Hotchner’s couch to watch Big Hero 6 again, and you and Aaron share a secret smile when Jack announces it as his pick.

[rowanmutt-afterdark]

Kinktober Day 5 Medical Play (IDW Ratchet)

Word Count: 1,011

IDW Ratchet X Human Female Reader

Read more below the cut!

"Are you ready for your checkup?” Ratchet asked, walking into your assigned room. You were his first patient of the day, and though he was exhausted from a long work night, he was happy to give you a check-up. You responded with a nod. You didn't meet his optics, but you seemed OK with this.

His dermas changed into a soft smile, and his servo was placed upon your shoulder. He smiled at you as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “If you need to stop, let me know. We can stop now.” He offered to put a halt to this. You looked up at him and shook your head rapidly.

“No no! I'm ok, I promise. I'm just not used to this type of thing.” You reassured him that you did want to try this. It was just a new roleplay to spice up your love life. You trusted him and knew he was experienced.

He would never make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe.

“I'm ok to continue.” Ratchet listened to your plea, relenting with a sigh. His servo moved to your chin, holding it between his digits to kiss your cheek.

“Good girl. If you need me to stop, don't hesitate.” He pulled away, and just as soon as he paused the roleplay, he began again.

“I'm happy that you came in as soon as you started to feel off. I assure you that we will be able to check everything and see what could be wrong.” He had you lie back against the cold slab used as the med-bays examination table. His mass-displaced servo started over your chest, feeling the rapid rising and falling of your breast. He smoothed his cold servo over your clothed top as he felt for any lumps.

“How about you remove your gown for me? I can’t check for lumps like this.” He ordered. You didn’t hesitate to remove the top of the gown. The fabric fell and pooled at your waist as he hummed appreciatively and moved his servos back to your chest to feel your tits. His servos groped at the soft mounds of flesh and muscle, feeling for anything abnormal. His hold wasn’t rough, nor was it gentle. His one servo became two on your chest and felt you up. A small noise escaped your lips before you bit your lip to silence any sound from leaving you.

“Hmm.” He hummed, feeling you up for any lumps and found none, the smallest hint of curled at the edges of his mouth before disappearing as he pulled away. He wrote down what he felt before he moved on to the next part of his examination. He motioned for you to lie back against the examination table, you follow his instructions and waited with anticipation as he turned back to his tray of tools. He looked over each one until he found what he was looking for, and from it, he pulled a speculum.

A pap smear?

You had one not that long ago. You didn't voice your protest as you weren't the doctor. He wanders back over to your side. His servo grabs the hospital gown and pulls it the rest of the way down your body until it is removed from your figure. The chilled air of the exam room brought goosebumps to your skin as the cold air met your warm skin. Your skin fluttered as he dragged the instrument along the skin of your pubic bone in a lazy, careless pattern.

“Open your legs.” He orders. You followed, legs spreading off to the sides, exposing your pelvic area to him. Had you been able to see you, you would have caught Ratchet shuddering in excitement at your willingness to be examined by him. He grabbed the lube for the speculum and popped open the cap to drizzle it over the metal with a small squeeze to the bottle. You knew just from look alone just how cold that was going to be. He hummed a small tune cheerfully as he got between your spread legs and pressed the speculum against your pussy. A shudder passed through you with a surprised gasp as its cold, lubed clamps were grinded against your clit.

“I have to get the lube spread around before I can proceed. I can't risk harming my patient, now can I?” He moved it in a rhythmic pattern against your sensitive nub, bringing legs to tremble and tense at the pleasure that surged in your abdomen and pooled with a liquid heat inside of you.

“How does that feel?” He asks. You nod with a whimper before answering his question.

“G-Good.” You whine, he hummed in approval at the confirmation for him to continue with his exam. The speculum nestled its way between your folds, slipping into your aching hole followed with another shudder from you. It pushed its way until it was fully inside of you. Its freezing cold clamps were pressed as close to your walls could go before he gave you a quick look, and then he moved It to open. It opened you with ease, but this discomfort from it brought forth a whine as it pried your walls open for him to take a peek at what he was working with.

“My my, what a beautiful fleshy valve. It's not every day I get to examine such a fine specimen. Your anatomy is so similar to our own-” he paused. “I wonder if…” He trails off before he's grabbing your thigh in one servo and pulling them further apart while the other keeps the clamps opened.

“You are absolutely drenched! Is this getting you wet? Such a bad girl, a naughty patient doesn't deserve good awards. Instead, they get to suffer the consequences.” He purrs before his lips are on your clit bringing forth a wail of surprise and pleasure as he sucked and swirled his glossa around it making your legs jerk and your body thrash as he hums around the sensitive bundle of nerves with a grin.

Tonight was going to be spectacular~

[llamagoddessofficial]

You don't have to read this, but I've been thinking about ways to escape that situation. I would consider this a test run because we don't know their hunting strategies. Instead of focusing on running away, I would focus on understanding their patterns, as we know they are Mafia workers who search for people, and we don't know what kind of roles they have in their search. I'm considering whether or not to tell Dust about something, but I'm worried that he or my home might be bugged. If I do decide to tell him, I'll write a note explaining my reasons and wait for Horror to watch over us. While I wait, I'll inspect the garden for any weak points in the walls and observe the usual guard shift times. I might also pretend to have trouble sleeping and ask for some sleeping medication. I know Nightmare would attempt to help me, but he can't be available 24/7, and he won't be there every night, and I would ask for some sleep medication. And when it's Horror's turn I will dump the appropriate amount in his food or drink to mask the drugs when adding drugs to food or drink, I would use sugar to mask the taste and spices to cover up the smell. He is the main person hunting us down, and it's frustrating for Killer and Dust because they primarily used him to track us from the beginning. I will use the tough fabric of our curtains to tie knots and cut them to make a makeshift rope. Then, I will hail the nearest taxi, pay in cash, and instruct the driver to take us to the docks. I would take a boat tour to travel to the other side of the lake assuming that we live near one. They usually don't ask for ID, but I would choose a cheaper one just in case. I would be willing to pay extra if they do ask for it. Once I reach the other side, I would go to one of the destinations and start my new life without them.

An admirable attempt, to be sure. And there's a genuine chance you could get some distance away before they find you, which is no small feat. But there are some pitfalls you might have overlooked.

Guard shifts overlap. Nightmare has been in the game long enough to know the common breaks in armour. He's not just keeping you in; he's keeping his enemies out.

The boys might be dumb, but they're not stupid. They're incredibly observant. They would be able to tell that you're watching the guards.

Nightmare will be able to smell mounting anxiety about an escape attempt.

Where would you get the cash for the taxi? Additionally, you are really throwing the dice by getting a cab from outside Nightmare's home. Good luck finding a driver that isn't on Nightmare's payroll. In fact, good luck finding anywhere in the city where there isn't anyone loyal to Nightmare. There's a reason Dust was so agitated by Nightmare liking you... there's a reason he told you you can't leave.

You're gonna need a lot of fucking sleep meds to knock Horror out for any significant amount of time.

Horror is the fastest at finding you, sure. But if he's out of action, Nightmare will happily take his place on the hunt. And that isn't a good thing for you.

Also... perhaps the biggest issue.

You know food is sacred to Horror right? Incredibly sacred. To him, it's synonymous with love, with care, with connection. Food sharing in the Underground was how you told someone you valued their life. And accepting food was how you expressed the ultimate vulnerability. Horror doesn't accept food from just anyone.

Not only did you tamper with his food, you offered it to him under false pretences. You took advantage of the fact that he cared for you enough to eat/drink whatever you offer. I hope you realise you've absolutely shattered his trust.

He will never believe you, or let his guard down around you, ever again.

You monster.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The Babysitter

Summary: Jared convinces Jensen to go to a bar and have a little fun, but it’s not until he’s driving the babysitter home that he gets the kind of fun he didn’t even know he wanted.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Bingo Square: Hot Babysitter for @j3bingo 

Warnings: flirting, age gap (20/41), pwp, daddy kink, praise kink, smut, oral sex (m rec), fingering, p in v.

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: I hope you enjoy this filth! 😘💖

My Masterlist     AO3     Ko-Fi

��Come on, man!” Jared encouraged. “It’s been a year since your divorce. You gotta get back out there.”

“I’m not ready to date, Jar. I told you that. My focus is on my kids right now,” Jensen huffed, having lost count of how many times Jared had tried to get him to start dating.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything about dating,” Jared chuckled. “I’m talking about going out to a bar, having a few drinks, maybe taking a girl home for some fun. We could go out tomorrow? I’ll be your wingman, just like old times.”

“And where am I supposed to find a babysitter with such short notice, huh? Gen’s away, so it’s not like we can ask her,” Jensen retorted.

“I’ll ask Y/N,” Jared shrugged. “Gen and I trust her completely. She’s a med student and has been watching our kids for a couple of years now.”

“I don’t know, man,” Jensen groaned.

“She’s not a complete stranger to your kids either, you know. Y/N’s watched them before, too,” Jared continued, not taking notice of his friend’s reluctance. “Come on, even if it doesn’t end in a good time between the sheets with a hot girl—which I am all for, FYI, because, dude, how long has it been?—we can at least go out, have a few beers, watch a football game. What d’ya say?”

“It has been a long time since that. And even longer since I went to a bar to watch a game,” Jensen agreed. “And the Cowboys are playing. Yeah, alright, let’s do it.”

“Yeah?” Jared grinned.

“Yeah. Call Y/N and see if she’s free and doesn’t mind a couple of extra kids for the night.”

While driving to Jared’s, Jensen couldn’t help but feel excited for their night ahead. It had been so long since he’d taken any time to himself. He’d been so focused on his kids and work since the divorce and had fooled himself into thinking he was happy. He deserved to have a little fun. He still had a lot of life to live and a lot of love to give, and although he wasn’t looking to date quite yet, if someone caught his eye tonight, maybe he’d get lucky.

Jensen pulled up in the driveway, got himself and the kids out of the car, and went up to the house. With their families so close, the kids opened the Padalecki’s front door and ran straight into the house.

Chuckling, Jensen walked in after them and closed the door behind him. As he made his way down the hallway, a laugh as sweet as honey reached his ears, and he found himself straightening his posture and puffing his chest slightly.

“Hey, man,” Jared said as he walked into the kitchen, where a woman with Y/H/C hair had her back to him. “This is Y/N,” his friend continued, and when she turned around and smiled at him, Jensen’s heart skipped a beat, and everything else Jared said was lost in this stunning woman’s haze.

Y/N was hot and way out of his league, and not just because he was old enough to be her father. She was gorgeous with her big doe eyes, beautiful smile, curves in all the right places—

“Jay? You with me, man?” Jared’s voice pulls him away from his stupor and back to the two people in the room: Jared, with a concerned frown on his brow and Y/N, smirking softly at him and gently chewing on her bottom lip.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Just trying to remember if I locked the door when I left,” Jensen lied.

“Okay,” Jared said, not sounding entirely convinced but seemingly letting it go. “Ready to go?”

“Sure. Thanks for this, Y/N. I appreciate you taking on another two kids for the night,” Jensen said, finally getting something out to the girl.

“It’s my pleasure,” Y/N smiled softly, and he swore he saw a little bit of flirtatiousness in her eyes.

“Thanks, man. I think this is just what I needed,” Jensen said as he and Jared got into the car to drive home. “It’s been so long since we just grabbed a beer and some wings.”

“It has,” Jared agreed. “It was nice to have my buddy back, but I gotta ask, no interest in any of the women in there? At least five had their eyes on you, man, and some of them were gorgeous.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that, but when I am, you’ll be the first to know.” It wasn’t entirely true. If Y/N were older, he’d definitely try and hit that, but he was far too old for her, and there was no chance she’d want to have sex with an old man.

They settled into a quiet ride back to Jared’s house, filled with light conversation on their plans for a day at the lake with the kids tomorrow.

Pulling into Jared’s drive for the second time that day, both men exited the vehicle and headed into the house and through to the living room.

Jensen stopped in the doorway, noticing that Y/N was watching a movie, her hair pulled back in a messy knot on top of her head, teasing him with her bare, unblemished neck that he wanted to cover in his marks.

He needed to get a grip of himself. And he definitely needed to dig out his favourite porn videos and carve out a little time to take care of himself because this was ridiculous. Y/N was hot; there was no doubting that, but his fascination with her had to be because of his lack of sexual release.

“Hey,” Y/N said when she saw them. “The kids are fine. They’re all asleep in the tent we put up in the playroom.”

“Great, thanks, Y/N. They didn’t give you any trouble?” Jared checked.

“None. They were perfect, as always,” Y/N smiled as she put on her jacket, threw her backpack over her shoulder, and tucked the cash Jared had given her for babysitting into her pocket.

“Thanks again. I appreciate you coming out at short notice and giving up your weekend,” Jared smiled at the young woman.

“They’re good kids, so it’s no problem. Plus, I managed to get some studying done without my roommates being too loud,” she giggled.

“I appreciate it all the same,” Jared nodded. “Hey, man,” he added, turning his attention to Jensen. “Why don’t you leave the kids here for the night? They’re sleeping comfortably, and you’ll be over for breakfast anyway, right?”

“You sure?” Jensen checked.

“Yeah,” Jared confirmed. “No point in waking and upsetting them when they’ll be coming back here anyway.”

“Alright, thanks, Jared,” Jensen said as he slapped his friend on the back, his mind already drifting to those porn videos. “Y/N, do you need a ride home? I didn’t see a car out there, and it’s the least I can do.”

“Sure. Thank you, Jensen,” Y/N replied, a shy smirk pulling at lips.

“How was your night?” Y/N asked as they climbed into his car.

“Good. It’s been a while since I just went for a beer with a friend,” Jensen replied.

“So it was just a drink with a friend? No ladies on your radar? Jared made it sound like you were out on the prowl, and he needed to be your wingman!” Y/N grinned at him.

“Uh, there were a few pretty girls, sure, but I’m not looking for that right now.”

“That’s a shame. I would’ve done anything to get a handsome guy like you to go home with me,” Y/N grinned wider, giggling when his head snapped towards her with his eyebrows practically hitting his hairline.

“Sweetheart, I’m old enough to be your dad!” Jensen spluttered.

“I don’t mind older men. In fact, I prefer them… Daddy,” Y/N looked at him and batted her lashes.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jensen gasped. He couldn’t believe she wanted him. “We can’t.” It was a weak attempt, but he needed to at least look like he was trying to turn down his best friend’s hot babysitter.

“But why, Daddy? Don’t you want me? Was I a bad girl?” she pouted and slid her hand into his lap, palming his hard cock through his denims.

“Shit! We’re really doing this?” Jensen groaned when she squeezed his erection, and she nodded her head.

“If you want to,” Y/N said, dropping her act. “If not, you can drive me home, and we’ll pretend this never happened. But if you want me, I’m yours.”

Jensen was speechless. An incredibly attractive twenty-year-old woman was in his car, calling him Daddy, making his dick harder than it had ever been, and offering herself to him on a platter. He must’ve died and gone to heaven.

“I want you, Y/N. Fuck, I’d be crazy not to. You’re fucking perfect,” Jensen said, looking into her eyes and making sure she heard him. He chuckled when her face lit up at his praise, noting that not only did this girl have a daddy kink, which he’d happily indulge her with, but a praise kink, too.

“Then let’s go home, Daddy.”

“That’s my good girl,” Jensen praised, watching Y/N undo his belt and pants and pull his stiff cock from his boxers. “Open up, sweetheart, let Daddy in.”

Y/N’s mouth fell open, and he groaned at the sight. “That’s it, baby girl,” he praised again, pushing himself between her plump lips.

Jensen moaned deep and long as she timidly closed her lips around him and sucked, gently rubbing her tongue over his leaking slit.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so good at that. You love sucking daddy’s cock, huh?” Jensen groaned when she nodded. “Yeah, I know you do, baby girl. Come on, I know you can take more than that.”

Y/N moaned around him, taking more of his cock down her throat, gagging on his length.

“Fuck, yeah, baby girl. Just like that. So good for your daddy, huh? Are you Daddy’s good little girl?” Jensen grunted as he pushed a little deeper.

“Yes, Daddy,” she gasped as he pulled himself from her throat and grabbed her chin, squeezing gently and running his fingers over her spit-slick lips. 

“Do you need Daddy to help you undress, or are you a big girl that can do it herself?”

“I can do it, Daddy,” Y/N said as she quickly stripped out of her clothes.

Jensen groaned as his hands skimmed over her perfect, perky breasts and down her taut stomach. “You’re so perfect, baby girl. Daddy loves this beautiful body,” Jensen rasped. “Get up on the bed, sweetheart, and spread those pretty little legs. Let Daddy get a good look at you.”

Y/N climbed on his bed and crawled towards the headboard. Laying down, she spread her legs wide and smirked at Jensen’s deep groan.

“Good girl,” he praised as he crawled up the bed, caressed his hands over her thighs, pushed them apart and lowered his head to her hot, wet centre. “Fucking delicious,” he groaned, licking from the bottom of her slit to the top.

Pushing through her folds, he moaned when her slick pooled on his tongue, and he quickly lapped it up, licking and sucking and thrusting his wet muscle into her tight, dripping hole.

He moved to her clit, licking and sucking on the tiny bud while his fingers toyed with her entrance, circling it gently before slipping one inside.

“So fucking tight, baby girl,” Jensen grunted against her clit. “Gonna need to loosen you up before you can take Daddy’s big cock in your tight little pussy.” He added another finger and curled them upwards, rubbing against her sweet spot over and over.

“Daddy!” Y/N gasped, grinding her hips down on his fingers desperately.

“What is it, baby?” Jensen asked, looking up between her legs and seeing her desperate little pout. “Is Daddy making you feel good?”

“Yes! More, Daddy, please!” she begged.

“Oh, you sound so pretty when you beg, baby girl, and you know Daddy can’t resist when you beg.” He pulled his fingers from her and sucked her juices from them with a hum before crawling up her body and caging her beneath him.

“Please!” she mumbled again, and Jensen couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Alright, since my little princess begged so prettily, she can have Daddy’s cock in her sweet, tight, perfect little pussy,” Jensen growled and pushed his hips forward.

Y/N’s brow furrowed in pleasure with every inch he pushed inside her. When his hips met hers, and he couldn’t go any further, he groaned deeply at the feel of her tight cunt, stretching and fluttering to accommodate his intrusion.

“Fuck!” Jensen roared. “You feel so good, baby girl. So fucking tight and perfect for Daddy, fuck!” He pulled back his hips and slammed forward again, placing his hand on her stomach and pushing down gently, groaning lowly as he felt himself move inside her.

Y/N’s eyes rolled back, and her hips moved with his. “Fuck, Daddy! You’re so big. Feel so good, so full,” she moaned.

“Yeah? That’s because this little pussy was made just for me, sweetheart.” He’d never felt a pussy so good, and the daddy roleplaying they were doing made everything ten times hotter. “Who owns this sweet little pussy, baby girl?”

“You do, Daddy,” Y/N whined.

“That’s right, Daddy owns it. It’s mine,” he grunted with every jerk of his hips, and when Y/N’s orgasm hit, Jensen stalled his movements, holding himself inside her as her tight walls squeezed and pulsed around his cock.

“Fuck, baby girl! You feel so fucking good. I’m gonna come, sweetheart. You want Daddy’s come, huh?” Jensen chuckled as Y/N nodded desperately.

“Yeah? Where do you want Daddy to come?” he gasped, pulling his hips back and pounding roughly into her still-quivering heat.

“Inside me, Daddy, please! I need it!” Y/N whined. Jensen groaned loudly, pushing himself as far in as he could, and came hard, resting against her cervix.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he gasped when he finally regained his senses and pulled his spent and softening cock from her satiated hole. “That was hot, sweetheart, and something I’d be up for more of with you.”

“It was,” she agreed with a giggle. “Unexpected, but hot, and something I definitely want to do with you again.”

Tags: @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Another hear me out: ii is sick and iii and gf reader (ves and ivy are busy idk dun ask me) head out to get meds and stuff for our poor boy but they get surprised by a huge storm and long story short iii offered her his coat like the gentleman he is and as they return ii sees his precious sweet little gf drenched and in another mans coat 👁️👁️✨

Grumpy sick boy

“Hey, are you busy?”, you had managed to slip out into the kitchen after bickering with ii for the past twenty minutes. His coughs rang through the apartment. “Not really what’s up”, iii voice fills your ears. “Dragged him to the doctors finally”, you sigh, “he has an infection that needs antibiotics”. “Shit”, you can hear him moving around in his apartment. “Yeah and I don’t have a way to get there”, you say quietly feeling so silly even bringing it up. Knowing that you could drive it’s just that stupid fear of doing it that paralyzed you every time. “I’ll be at yours in 15, I’ll get you there”, iii reassures you. “You sure?”, you ask once more just in case. “Yeah, my man is sick, got to make sure you both are okay”, you hear the sound of keys jingle and the weight instantly drops from your shoulders. “You’re the best”, you mutter before hanging up.

A grumpy ii is staring at you both from the sofa where he had been trying to prove that he wasn’t half as sick as he was. “You look like a Victorian child dying”, iii snorted waiting for you to pick up everything that you needed. “Fuck you”, ii grunted coughing into his fist. “You wouldn’t have enough energy for that little guy”, iii snorted, making you shake your head. ii flipped him off. “You try to sleep”, you brush your fingers over ii’s damp forehead, concern written all over your face, “we won’t take long”, squeezing your boyfriend’s hand you quickly stand up. You’re almost out the door when ii’s voice rings through the hallway. “iii”, his tone is serious and iii instantly turns towards him, “You get her home safely man”. He just gives ii a knowing smile, “Precious cargo, trust me I’m aware”.

ii was genuinely a calm man. On paper. If you squint… but once the rain started twenty minutes after you two had left he had dragged himself up from the sofa and towards the window. He trusted you both and iii was the best driver out of all of them but it still didn’t ease his nerves. Not until he saw the familiar car pulling up. Turning towards the door immediately. His stomach dropped slightly at the sound of you both laughing in the hallway. But nothing prepared him for the blow of seeing you two drenched, the white dress you had on clinging to your skin. He could see your underwear from where he was standing. And the jacket. The jacket iii had was now clinging to your skin.

“Jesus you look fucking batshit crazy”, iii chuckled. Making you turn towards the hallway. “ii, you need to be in bed, darling”, you shook your head, kicking your shoes off. But his eyes were burning holes in iii’s face. “we got caught in the rain”, he explained. “I can fucking tell”, ii crossed his arms over his chest. The sight of your rosy cheeks, hair sticking to your face, the fucking dress… it was driving him insane. “We had a bit of a nip situation…”, “If you finish that sentence…”, ii grunted. “Darling, he was being a gentleman, and saved me from flashing the whole street”, you said softly. “Go change please”, he turned to you, pleading eyes looking at you. “And you, never even think about her… anything”, ii pointed a warning finger at iii. “Mate, I adore your girl but trust me all I care about is keeping you both alive”, iii snorted. You moved to take off his jacket but iii quickly stopped you, “Keep it on in case I see that black thong and then…”, “iii”, ii whisper shouted making you chuckle as you shook your head. “Very nice, thong, yn darling”, he blows you a kiss, before moving for the door. “I will stab you with a drumstick you dick”, ii hissed pulling you behind him. “Drive save, silly goose”, you waved iii off, cackling. “Don’t encourage him”, ii whined, “You need to learn to pick your battles”, you tapped his chest, “Off to bed you go”, “hold up are you on his fucking side here?”, ii grunts, sinking into the sofa frowning making you let out yet another laugh as you pulled his medicine onto the counter.

[stubz]

grandma said

"I wonder what's taking Max so long?" mumbled the human, waiting with several younglings and children for the other human to come so that they can leave the centre.

"Kim can we go now?"

"Not until Max and Ezshi come."

"But Ezshi takes light years to get ready~" whined the child.

"I know but--"

A wail like no other echoed throughout the halls. The screams bounced off the walls into the human's body, from their heart to their skull they felt the vibrations of the child.

"Cover your ears and stay here!" they said before sprinting inside the classroom.

The wailing grew the closer they got to the source which was little Ezshi who was being comforted by the other human.

"What happened?!" even at Kim's loudest her yells were easily drowned out the reptilian's wails and cries.

Max pointed at the youngling and she looked down to see their tail swollen and slightly discolored. He then drew her attention to the door leading outside of the centre.

Ah shit it had to be the tail. As younglings Caimunes had incredibly sensitive tails as they were still developing the necessary healing abilities to allow them to regrow them.

'Anyting I can do?' she texted.

'Just take the others to the garden without us. Ezshi' cries r probably hurting some of their ears. Text management to send over a sub in my place and close the door to muffle the noise.'

'K, gud luck' and with that she left leading the younglings far away from the pained wails.

.

..

...

What the hell do I do!? They don't want an ice pack or a cold cloth or me to even breath on it and it'll be at least another 15 minutes till Eza get's here...

The poor human had spent the last 15 minutes trying to comfort and help the youngling to no avail. He tried applying first aid but Ezshi wailed even louder at the thought of anything touching their tail. The human then tried soothing them with words and rubbing circles on their back but that had only worked for mere seconds at a time.

So far the only thing he managed to do was give them a pillow to sit on and reassure them that their Bubba was coming as fast as they can.

A Caimunes tail is the most sensitive body part, equivalent to a human's fingers or toes...think think think. This isn't that far from when I slammed my finger in the closet door so what was done to help me?

He cried; just like Ezshi. He didn't want anyone to touch it; just like Ezshi. He calmed down but that was because he trusted his parents when they put his hand under cold water.

There has to be something...

"Oh." and Ezshi whimpered for the human had gotten up and went to the small kitchen they had.

*wHinNE*

"Don't worry I'm coming back buddy. I just remembered something that could help. Something my Grandma once said." they opened the top cupboard and came back with a small bag.

"Now don't tell anyone about this because this is for next week," he took out a small wrapped upped square and began to open it, "but my Grandma said that it's harder to be sad when eating something sweet so we're going to give it a try." he placed the small smooth square into the youngling's claw.

They sniffed it then plopped it into their mouth. It was strange to them. It was hard but then chewy and sticky. Sweet but tangy.

"It's called a Starburst. A candy from Earth."

The youngling started to cry once again but to the human's relief it was a much quieter cry.

"What does it taste like?"

"...*whimper*"

"Is it sweet?"

Nod*

"Kinda tangy?"

Shake*

A little sour?"

Shake*

"Just sweet?"

Nod*

"Huh, usually I find that flavor to be a little tangy. It's cherry by the way."

"...can I have another one?"

"Of course."

They sat like that until Eza came. Max fed Ezshi different flavors and asked them questions about the flavor until he had them try and guess which flavor they were eating. By then the cries were far and few between one another.

Later when the Caimunes had left the human was contacted by the med bay about a hearing test as 90% of those who hear a youngling Caimun wail go deaf. Max was ultimately fine and actually found the experience interesting as he had experienced a full inner/outer body vibration from the soundwaves coming from Ezshi

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Eddie exchange looks. “Can you tell how long?” Nancy asks.

“Less than a day,” El says, sounding apologetic. “Other than that…” she shakes her head and slips the blindfold off. “I am sorry.”

“You’ve done more than enough, El,” Robin soothes. “Thank you.”

“We have to go after her.” Nancy looks pleadingly at Steve. “You want to save her, too, right? Not just Will?”

“I do,” Steve nods. “I didn’t know how long we’d have. I’d hoped we’d have more time, but it looks like we’ll have to go in twice: once for Barb and Will, and once to kill Vecna.” He looks around the room, focusing on the three boys. “I know Will was the artist, but Lucas, I know you can draw too. If we get you a map, can you find points and direct us?”

Lucas sets his jaw and nods. “I’ll do my best.”

“Okay. Here’s the plan, then: you three, stay here with El.” He looks at Dustin, Mike, and Lucas. “We’ll have walkie talkies, so we can keep in constant communication. El, how long can you stay in that space?”

She looks at him steadily. “I can do it.”

Steve looks at her, then nods. “I trust you. Robs, you’re with me?”

“Just try and get rid of me, Dingus.”

Dingus? Jonathan mouths to Nancy, who shrugs.

“Nance, Jon, and Eddie. You’re with us. We’re getting in and out as fast as we can. If all goes according to plan, we’ll have two more people coming with us on the out. They’ll be weak, but between the five of us, we can and will get them out safely. Robin, you stay here, direct the weapon-making. Make sure I get a bat. I’m going to go get walkie talkies, masks, and a whole lot of first aid supplies.”

“Got it,” Robin nods, then points at Eddie, Jonathan, and Nancy. “You three, with me.” She leads them to the backyard, and Steve knows she’s bringing them to the shed, where his old sports things and various tools are.

He looks to the boys. “Keep working on those plans. We’ll need them for the second attack. El, do you want to rest before we begin?” She considers it, then nods. “Okay. You know where the bed is. I’ll be back in less than an hour, alright?”

She nods and begins climbing the stairs. Steve looks around once more, taking stock, then grabs his keys and walks out the front door.

He gets to the store no problem, walks inside and starts filling his basket. Seven walkie talkies, seven masks, seven pairs of goggles, antibacterial cream, bandages, a suture kit, some ice packs. Two bottles of pain pills. He thinks about it, then makes his way to the front desk, smiling at the employee. “Hey, could I use your phone for a minute, please?”

He looks at Steve, unimpressed, then shrugs and gestures towards it. Steve thanks him and dials his home number.

“Hello?”

“Dustin. Do me a favor and get Eddie?”

“Yeah. One second.”

He hears Dustin yelling for Eddie as he walks outside, then a minute later, Eddie’s on the line. “Hello?”

“Hey, Eddie. I grabbed some pain meds, but I’m wondering if they’re going to be strong enough. I can pay you, but could you…”

“Yeah, no, I’ve got it. And no, dude, you’re not paying me. Not for this. I’ll head home and get them right now.”

“Perfect,” Steve says. “Thanks so much, Eds, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Uh, y-yeah, no problem. I’ll, uh, go now.”

“Okay. I’ll probably beat you back. See you there.”

“See you,” Eddie agrees, and they hang up,

Steve looks around for a few more minutes, finds a package of nails, adds those to his basket and goes to check out.

He’s well aware he probably looks like a serial killer, but he knows from experience the cashier is blindly scanning his items.

His luck runs out when Chief Hopper walks in and ambles towards the checkout counter. Steve does his best to keep the sigh internal. “Chief,” he says, giving him a little nod. The chief returns the greeting, peering over into Steve’s basket.

Steve suddenly becomes very interested in the gum options.

“What’s all this?” Hopper asks, inclining his head towards the basket.

Steve shrugs. “A few different things.” Please accept it, please accept it, please accept it-

“Like what?”

Dammit. “Uh… well, I noticed I didn’t have a first aid kit, and I figured I probably should, y’know? And I wanted to do some work around the house.”

Hopper grunts. “The masks and walkies?”

“Um.” Steve blanks. “It’s for a game with my friends?”

Hopper sighs. “If I get a call from your neighbors-”

“You won’t,” Steve says. Promises.

“Fifty-one sixty-four, sir,” the cashier says. Steve’s never been more grateful to be interrupted.

He pays, grabs his things, and sends Hopper a salute on his way out the door. He notices Hopper watching him as he leaves the parking lot, and he forces himself not to speed on the way home.

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @str4wb3rry-guy @paperbackribs @ninjapirateunicorns @bisexualdisastersworld @hiscrimsonangel @lolawonsstuff @xo-r4e @thedragonsaunt @l0st-strawberry

[scapingthebottomofthebarrel]

Hello!

I saw that you were accepting requests so can I request a Tom Holland ( Spider-Man) x a reader who faints a lot. Like she blacks out multiple times a day. How overprotective would Spidey be? If you can, then maybe can please incorporate Steve Rogers in the story too. I have been obsessed with them..♥️

Please delete if this uncomfortable or bad🙏

I had fun writing this! I hope you like it!

Emergency Tylenol

“I forgot the Tylenol. We need to go back. Actually wait a second. I think…yup! Secret back up Tylenol!” You can’t help but smile as you watch Peter mutter to himself and dig around in his bag. You watch him lay out all the supplies from his bag. “Ok so we’ve got secret back up Tylenol, ibuprofen, ice packs, bandaids, neosporin, your emergency meds, and two water bottles.” He says proudly.

“Peter I promise you don’t need to carry all of this around with you. I have some stuff in my bag. I’ll be fine.” You insist for what must be the millionth time today.

“I absolutely do, sweetheart. As your boyfriend it’s my swore duty to take care of you and I can’t do that if I’m not fully equipped.”

“Peter, we’re literally in a private limo on our way to the Avengers Compound. I don’t think I could be any better taken care of.” He seems to consider your words for a moment before shrugging and opening the bainaid container to reorganize them.

“You could be. Trust me, I keep stats. You’re-“

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black. When you open your eyes you find yourself on a bed in a room that you slowly recognize at Peter’s bedroom in the compound. You look around for any sign of him but only find a bottle of water, some Tylenol, and a note the simply reads

‘Boom. Prepared.’

You can’t help but smile at your boyfriends antics. The ache in your head prompts you to take the pills. You quickly finish the water bottle and slowly get up as to not black out again. After a moment when you’re sure you won’t faint you make your way to the nearest lounge.

“There they are!” Steve says with a soft smile.

“How long was I out for?” You ask as you plop down onto the couch next to him.

“About 20 minutes.”

“I’m coming back around quicker. That’s nice.” Steve nods as he fishes out his phone

“Peter’s in the lab with Tony. I told him I’d text him when you woke up.” He explains while he slowly types on his phone. “You’d think the kid didn’t know what was going on.” He says it with a fond smile.

“We’ve been working on him not being two inches from my face when I wake up.” You say with a laugh. You’ve known Peter since 7th grade and you began dating your sophomore year of high school. Despite that he still treats each black out with meticulous care. “Oh! Guess what!” You say excitedly remembering the whole reason for you coming to the compound today.

“What?” Steve asks with just as much enthusiasm.

“I entered you in an art contest and you won first prize! I submitted that picture you drew of Peter and I.” You quickly scroll through your email looking for the one about the contest results. “Well there not actually a prize, but it’s nice to be acknowledged ya know?” Steve chuckles and leans back a bit to clearly see the screen you’ve shoved in his face. As he reads the email you hear the soft sound of the door to the lounge opening.

“I’m glad to see you’re up and about sweetheart.” Peter says as he comes to lean on the arm rest next to you. “How are you feeling?”

“Well it’s four o’clock and I’ve only blacked out three times today, so pretty good.” Peter gives you a once over before nodding.

“Ima have to steal her for some studying Captain Roger’s.” Your eyes go wide at this.

“Oh no we have that test on Monday!” You groan sinking into your seat.

“Yup. So we gotta get some snacks and get to studying.” Peter takes your hand and pulls you up from the couch before leading you towards one of the kitchens.

“See ya later Steve! Don’t forget to revel in your victory!” You shout as you walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Peter have been studying for two hours and you’re starting to feel a little light headed from the stress.

“Why don’t we take a break?” Peter suggests before you can voice your discomfort. You smile gratefully knowing that Peter saw the signs of a black out starting to appear. “Sweetheart, you can tell me when something is getting too much.” He reminds you and you both close your books and migrate from the table to the beanbags where all your snacks are.

“I know. I’m just so worried about this test. I know I’ll probably do fine, but it’s such a big grade.” You sigh as you poke a straw into a juice pouch.

“We’ve been studying for two weeks. We’re gonna do great. It’s Friday why don’t we relax?” You ponder his words for a moment before nodding. “Great. I’ll dim the lights and grab your meds. You pick a movie.” Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought you would find someone. You’ve blacked out three times today and each time Peter was nothing but caring. You take a second to watch Peter as he grabs you some water and your meds before meticulously diming the lights to the setting he knows is perfect when you’re starting to feel faint.

“I love you.” You sigh happily. Peter nearly drops what he’s holding.

“Wh-what was that?” He asks slowly.

“I love you. I never knew I could love someone this much.” You explain. “I’m so happy it’s you I’m in love with.” Peter gets a dopy grin on his face and hops over the couch you sitting on to be next to you. He puts his hands on either side of your face and kisses you all over.

“I love you too!” He practically squeals. You can’t help but giggle and you two slowly settle in on the couch. “It was the emergency Tylenol wasn’t it? No one can resist.” He adds after a moment. You can’t help but burst out laughing.

“Yes Peter, it was the emergency Tylenol.” You and Peter both know that this is it for both of you. No other love could ever feel like this.

[papermonkeyism]

I think I'm finally starting to recover, after a few years of artistic dry season.

The plague was a big hit, then losing my job and finally my social life collapsing once my IRL DnD group basically disbanded pretty much destroyed what creative juiced I had always lived on up to that point, and it's been HARD to just not having any desire to be creative or do anything.

But now that I have a job again, and have had it for long enough my bank account is stable, and having been adopted into a new DnD group that's active both in-game (weekly game sessions!) and outside of it (we actually talk and communicate generally as well! It's mostly online, but it's still more than I've had in years), I have started to feel more like myself again. That, and the brain meds. I can't overstate how big it is that my default doesn't have to be brain fog anymore.

Like, I'm doing evening doodles again? I'm actually having fun thinking up creatures and characters and plots again? I stopped carrying my sketchbook and pencil case with me everywhere I went during my dry stint of nothing, but now I actually feel like I'm missing it when I don't have it on me at times, like during coffee shop visits.

And I kinda... want to MAKE a thing again.

(Just thinking out loud again, pay no mind.)

I miss having a Project.

Jumping back into making fully plotted out comic feels a bit too much at this stage, though, so I probably won't dedicate myself wholely to something of that scale.

I don't know what exactly will be the final shape of Arcanth's eventual thing, but I'm currently enjoying myself in the fiddly worldbuilding stage. (And just so you know, in the slight off chance that I might maybe pick Wurr back up again some day, I probably won't tell you about it. After all this time and all the messages I've gotten, I don't trust you guys with that one anymore. Even if I would eventually get back to posting it online, it won't happen untill I have a full year's worth of buffer and that would still be a loooooooong way from now even IF I got back to it full time, and I still have that day job besides anyway.)

But what if...

I think an art book or a zine or something might be more achievable at this point.

I feel like the dinosaur project thingy needs some more fiddling with its eventual format (I know I already have enough concept doodles to fill a zine on its own, but I crave an excuse to go ham with watercolors and make full illustrations), but it's one option I still want to make eventually.

And I kinda want to do a slight redesign for the Singing People. (I bought a skull replica a while ago that had narrower snout than how I had drawn them. And I know it doesn't matter that much, and I can always invoke artistic licence and "they aren't necessarily supposed to be any specific real life dinosaur species, it could always go with the 'undiscovered' route if I feel like it and the Troodon/Stenonychosaurus material is super fragmentary anyway", but I'm pretty sure it would bother me anyway if I didn't at least try it out and see how it looked.)

Though I think I got an idea about what to do with Entica!

Those of you who've been here a while know that one started out as my pandemic project. The world had just shut down along with my job warehouse, things were still new and uncertain, and I suddenly had so much free time and not much to sink my creative juices into, and I wanted something low pressure to do.

So I dug up an old setting from my teenage years two decades ago, gave it a facelift, threw out my teenage baggage and just ran wild. No planning, no plot, just art.

The "no planning" part did get back to bite me when the morbs eventually hit and I finally ran out of the creative juices, but that's still a lot of very good material, right there, ready to use.

But I just thought of a new framing device that would work with the already existing material AND give the character more of a goal and agency to make plotting more fun! And I think I like it.

Instead of a random scribe with no background from a place I didn't bother designing who just wants to see the world, Didor now works for a library that has sent her on a mission [to document something and/or take a message to *place*]. She still wants to see the world, but now she has a background, goal and a motive to do so!

And instead of just hanging around at Maaro's cart while Maaro does her own unrelated thing, Maaro is actively helping in her goal! While also doing her job.

I feel that having Didor be on a field work mission would give it more structure while not having to technically retcon anything already existing, and gives more solid excuse to do things than "random encounter number 82" would. Also potential reasons for further adventures ("While you're already out there, could you maybe also do X on the way?")

Also I want to insert nawani in it earlier. I didn't even have them as part of the setting untill psrt way through, and I want to show them off more.

Maybe a travel journal, perhaps?

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Hiatus announcement.

Hi friends. I've got some stuff I need to focus on in my personal life right now, and I'm not able to balance that with keeping up with Tumblr and Discord. I'll be taking a hiatus starting immediately. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully it won't be too long. If you have submitted a request for a fic, design, or artwork, please know I'll do my absolute best to fill it when I'm back, but for now, I need to be present in my real life.

I love you all, and I'll miss you, and I can't wait to come back! I'll put a few more details below the cut in case you're interested. CW for medical issues.

My partner has been unwell recently, and this week, we discovered that they have a blood clot in their leg. Further testing revealed they have a serious heart condition. Unfortunately, they also have a preexisting vascular condition that makes blood thinners risky, but their PCP went ahead and prescribed a three-month course of medication for the clot since it's an immediate issue. We are waiting to hear if insurance will cover the meds; apparently this prescription gets rejected by insurers frequently due to the cost. (Thinking about the fact that some analyst in a cubicle could decide that my partner's life is worth less than a three-month course of medication is making me feel absolutely sick.)

They have more appointments scheduled with a cardiologist and a vascular surgeon, so for now, we're just kind of stuck in limbo. Their PCP gave us a long list of, "If x happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If y happens, go to the emergency room immediately. If z happens - you guessed it - go to the emergency room immediately."

At this point, I'm still trying to come to terms with it. My partner just turned 44. We have an active lifestyle; we eat healthfully; we don't drink to excess. We just got fucked over by genetic risk factors.

The scariest part is that we wouldn't have found out about any of this if they hadn't gone to the doctor for a completely unrelated issue. I'm trying not to think about it too hard, or my imagination starts to send me into a spiral.

Please allow me to get sappy for a moment:

If you've read much of my work, you probably know my partner better than you might think, as they inspire a lot of my characterization, either directly or indirectly. If you enjoyed the way I wrote Waxer in "The Sixth Language" or Jesse in "In Which Jesse Gets What He Deserves," then you have a good idea of their personality. They are extraordinarily kind and patient, funny and sweet. They have been here for me consistently for twenty years, first as my friend, and later as my everything. They've held me when I cried, and they've made me laugh every single day since I met them. They know me better than anyone in the world, and I trust them with my soul.

They are the only person IRL who even knows that I write fanfiction, and they have read every single fic I've ever written. They've served as my guinea pig when I needed to work through the physical mechanics of a scene, and they've listened to me ramble for hours on end about plotting and characterization. They've supported and encouraged me in this and so many other areas, and now it's my turn to support them through this.

If you've read this far, I just want to say thank you for all the love, support, encouragement, and kindness you've given me over the past year. This fandom community has truly changed my life, and I am more grateful than words can communicate. I hope to see you all again very soon, hopefully with good news. But in the meantime, please know that I love you all.

May the Force be with you. 🩵

[hylkun]

30 DAYS | L. HEESEUNG

DAY 8: the applications

SYNOPSIS: in which y/n l/n gives lee heeseung 30 days before graduation to prove his feelings for her are genuine.

PAIRING: popular!heeseung x quiet!fem!reader

GENRE: high-school!au, angst and lots of it, fluff

<< last chapter | masterlist | >> next chapter

It's been a week since Heeseung squirmed his way into your life - and it's been nothing but a rollercoaster ride. You don't know how you're gonna survive until graduation.

Well, you only had roughly about 3 weeks until then, and you were internally hoping that they would fly by quickly. But for now, you were onto the first step of finally being free of Heeseung.

College applications.

You definitely wanted to go to the University of Fashion Arts with Yunho. You were more of a person to design, while Yunho was one to model. Leeseo, on the other hand, wanted to be a doctor and would be going to med school.

The only issue is that the university is in California. And right now, you're in South Korea. But that didn't matter, right? As long as you were pursuing your passion it didn't matter where the college was located.

You're currently sitting in the school's computer lab, attaching documents to your email to the school's headmistress. Yunho and Leeseo accompanied you as well, sending emails to colleges of their preference.

It was oddly silent between the three of you. For such a chaotic friend group, when it came to serious situations like these, it was hard to be that chaotic friend group.

If you weren't so focused on your applications, you probably would've asked yourself what Heeseung was up to. After Yunho revealed that his first ever crush, Zoa, is back in Korea and attending this school, you assume that he was probably having the time of his life with his first love.

Must be nice, you think.

You click the 'send' button on your email and get up to stretch your joints. "Going to the canteen for water. Do you guys want anything?" You ask your two best friends, making them both look up from their computer screens. Leeseo asks for water as well, while Yunho requests a boxed juice.

You exit the computer lab and make your way to the stairs to get to the canteen faster. However, on your way through the halls, you hear two voices. You see a door open and look inside.

It's Heeseung and a girl. Presumably, Zoa, from what Yunho told you. She's sitting next to him, really close. She'd taken a chair and put it so close to him that the chair leg was practically on his toe. On top of that, she was continously poking his cheeks and caressing his face. Did you really have to walk in on this?

Heeseung notices you and calls your name in a panic, like he wanted you to help. "(Name)!" He exclaims, making Zoa halt her actions and turn to the door.

"Oh, is this the girl you were talking about? She's so pretty!"

It was hard to find her annoying when she immediately complimented you on seeing your face. Although you were supposed to go to the canteen, you felt compelled to walk in and talk to the two of them. So you do. "Hi," you greet them awkwardly, Zoa smiling brightly while Heeseung sits there quietly.

"Heeseung has told me so much about you, (Name)! I'm sure it's the same for you, right? Does he ever talk about me?"

"No, actually. He never told me about you."

"Oh."

The once soft and calm atmosphere was now one of tension and silence.

"Well, that's okay! Let's have a girl talk, one-on-one. Heeseung, I'll be back." She says loudly, trying to lighten up the mood. She takes your hand and takes you outside, far enough where Heeseung couldn't hear your conversation.

Zoa's sweet smile immediately drops, and it scares you. She stares you straight into your eyes.

"Heeseung told me about his little crush on you. And trust me, if I have competition, that's no issue at all. It makes it more fun."

"Huh? What? What do you mean competition?"

"Well, we both like Heeseung, right? So you're my competitor. And I'm yours."

What the fuck was this girl on?

"Look, it's not like that -"

Zoa shushes you, and then she continues speaking. "I knew him since we were born. Don't think you can just strut in here and take him from me. So, good luck, competitor."

This girl was crazy. She had to be. You're meeting her for the first time, and she wants to be rivals because her childhood friend doesn't have feelings for her anymore? Talk about possessive. By the time you shake yourself out of your thoughts, Zoa is gone, probably with Heeseung again.

You run back up the stairs to the computer lab. Your heart was beating out your chest. This is the most anxious someone has made you feel in years. You practically bust open the door to the lab. Thank goodness only your friends were in there.

"Where are our drinks?"

Oh yeah.

The drinks.

You leave the lab again. but turning to the left instead of the right like earlier.

You think you'll take the longer way this time.

<< last chapter | masterlist | >> next chapter

TAGLIST: @zerobaseone-zhanghao @jooniesbears-blog @heeswif3y @nshitae @llvrhee @ikeusimp @starfallia @softieluvsyou @rairaiblog @lhspeachie @nishiriks @13tter @acousarah

[poppadom0912]

🍰 with Conner Rhodes. Prompts ‘this isn’t up for debate’ and/or ‘are you hurt’? Congrats on 1k!!!

A/N: Thank you so much for ordering! I've been in a bit of a slump recently and I wasn't motivated to write anything till you sent this so another thank you. Please enjoy!!

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

"Are you hurt?"

You whipped your head to the door, immediately regretting it as the pain pulsated, head continuously throbbing and eye twitching. You took so long to recollect yourself that you missed the concern wash over your husband who instantly rushed over to you, bag discarded and coat still on.

"What the hell happened?" His voice was ever so soft, drowning in concern, his gentle fingers cradling your face, both hands providing warmth the snow outside couldn't.

"Just a small accident at work." You said under your breath, voice hoarse from all the shouting. "It looks worse than it feels, trust me."

"You look like you've been in a car accident, this isn't small at all- your hands are bleeding!"

Sighing, you were already internally preparing to give up. You were so tired after a long day at work that you didn't have it in you to be your usual stubborn self who would fight so everything would go your way.

"We're going to med." Connor said with that no-nonsense tone to express his seriousness, knowing that you were going to fight back.

Which is exactly what you did.

"Con please, a few bandages, a shower and painkillers and I'll be perfectly fine." You argued back, already moving to stand up, trying your best not to wince at the burning in your legs.

"Oh my- you can't get even up you're in so much pain." Connor said under his breath, his hands feather light as he supported you in getting up. "What even happened?"

Yeah, there was no way in hell you were telling him what happened, he'd carry you out the house to the hospital no questions asked.

He clearly didn't appreciate the silence.

"Baby please." He stopped you from walking away, his big eyes boring into yours with desperation that only made you hurt more. "Just let me help you."

Sighing, you begrudgingly told him, unable to not fold when he looked at you like that.

"We were chasing someone on the run and we didn't realise there was two of them... so I might've gotten hit by a car."

Silence

"I'm sorry." Connor laughed incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief before asking, "Say that again for me because there's no way I just heard you say you got hit by a car."

You sucked air through your teeth, remaining silent, watching as reality set in.

Nodding his head, Connor looked on the edge of hysteria.

"We're going to med." He stated, picking up your phone and going to get your jacket. "Right now, let's go."

"Con babe-"

"This isn't up for debate." He finalised, resting your coat on your shoulders.

"It's okay to ask for help, that's why I'm here - it's why you married a surgeon." A soft smile made its why to his face. "Let me do my job and look after my wife, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good." He said before sweeping you off your feet so smoothly that you felt no pain even after the sudden movement.

Squealing, you tried to keep down the laughter as not to be in more pain, you hands tightening around Connor's neck as he started walking.

"My gorgeous stubborn wife, oh what ever will I do with you." He said wistfully, making sure the door was locked behind him before looking down at you so fondly that it was hard to believe that his wife just got hit by a car.

"Ah, you'll just have to pamper her and be at her beck and call for the rest of eternity - that's the least you could do." You played along, your smile brightening as the pain dimmed a little.

"Oh no! I'm forever doomed, someone needs to save me."

Giggling, you found yourself relaxing, almost going limp in his arms.

"I'm joking, the only person who needs saving is Ruzek for not calling me the second you got hurt."

Shit. Adam was screwed and there was no one able to save him.

[thinking1bee]

You Haven't Failed Part 20

Requested by Anonymous

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Tags: Spidey!Reader, Venom!Reader, So Much Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship, Graphic Depictions of Injuries, Blood, Violence, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut

Everything Taglist: @ara-a-bird, @iliketozoneout

Series Taglist: @alexawynters @dorabledewdroop @ima-gi--na-tion

Once Nick gave you what you needed, you went to Tony’s lab. Your suit, still in its idle form of a bracelet, sat in a glass case near his desk and you took it, slipped it on your wrist, and activated it. The feeling of the nanobots unfurling to engulf your body felt comforting and familiar even though you’ve only worn this suit once or twice. The blue, black, and silver were all familiar and you smiled at Tony and his brilliance, even if he was unhinged and childish at times. It’s what gave him the “crazy uncle” energy you loved so much.

“Hello, Y/n,” FRIDAY’s voice said as the nanobots surrounded your head and filtered the voice through the helmet.

“Hey FRIDAY. Long time, no see,” you said genuinely. Oddly enough, you missed the interface Tony made.

“How are you recovering?”

You watched as the suit molded to you, the tech rippling as it settled on your skin. Panel after panel of scans highlighted the screen, and you watched as FRIDAY synced the suit to your metrics.

“It’s going well, but that’s not the reason I need you today.”

“Does this have to do with the missing Avengers?”

You nodded and watched as FRIDAY concluded the scans. Though it was unsurprising, you were bummed to see the area around your spine flash red.

“Y/n,” FRIDAY began. “My readings show some healing damage around your spine. You may not be ready for the mission ahead.”

“I know FRIDAY, but I’m the only one here, and I need to get my family back. Can I work around this?”

There was a pause, and you waited with pursed lips.

“I am currently downloading a protocol that was created by Ms. Maximoff.”

“Protocol? What protocol?” you asked. You went around the lab, gathering gadgets and extra web shooters in the event something happened to your natural webs.

“The protocol she made for you. She called it PAP, and it is to be activated the moment you become incapacitated.”

You raised your eyebrows, but you trusted in Wanda more than anything. Whatever it was, you knew that it was there for a reason.

“FRIDAY, I’m going to need your help,” you said as you sighed. “HYDRA has everyone that I care about. I’m not at my best, and I know that, but I can’t sit here and do nothing. God knows what they’re doing to them, and I have no idea what we will see. I know I fucked up with Venom. Please don’t let me fuck this up.”

“I will do everything that I can to assist you, Y/n. You won’t be alone.”

You nodded as you grabbed a bag full of supplies. You continued to the jet and loaded it up with everything you needed. You knew that your ride could attach to the side of the quinjet. It was that small, so you could only take so much, but you didn’t know what HYDRA was doing. Some extra food and med kits may be needed. You activated the comm in your helmet.

“I’m leaving, Nick.”

“Be safe out there, kid.”

You could hear how weary he was, his voice grumbling with fatigue and stress. You just knew that his tequila shot glass was testing on his desk.

“I’ll do my best.”

With your haul in hand, you entered the jet and inputted the last known coordinates that you had for your team. Then you locked in and took off.

+++

“I swear to fucking god! Fury is getting my foot right up his ass, all the way to the fucking knee!”

The HYDRA base you were infiltrating was crawling with agents. If it weren’t for the invisibility cloak that Tony gave you, you would have been so utterly screwed. You haven’t gone on a mission in so long. It’s been almost a year since the Venom incident, and never in your life had you seen a HYDRA base this loaded with security. You were currently scaling the ceiling, your hands and feet securely locked to the cement as you made your way through the base. It took an hour to fully map it all out. Before you even entered, you sent in several small recon drones and watched as FRIDAY mapped the facility. What you found was horrible. All the Avengers were being experimented on. It looked like HYDRA scientists were trying to recreate powers and abilities. Through the cameras of all your drones, you could see that your friends were all restrained. All of them were hooked up to various machines and devices, and your heart dropped when you saw that Wanda was restrained in a straitjacket. A collar was secured to her neck, and you could only assume that it was to keep her from using her powers.

“I’m coming for you, baby. Hang on.”

The more you mapped out the base, the more your odds of capture ratcheted higher and higher. You sat inside of the jet while FRIDAY made a holographic, 3-D reconstruction of the building you needed to infiltrate. You sat on the floor, your helmet by your hip while you rested your arms on your bended knees. Sighing tiredly, you interacted with the map, spinning it this way and that while trying to plan a method of entry.

“We’re fucked, aren’t we, FRIDAY?” you asked bitterly. There were multiple floors of agents and concrete levels separating you from the people you loved. You were just one person who was still walking with a cane.

“Gaining entry will be difficult,” she confirmed, and you nodded. You wanted nothing more than to get Fury on the phone and kick his ass. Several invisible drones were still in the building, and the more they scanned, the more the structure was revealed to you.

“I think I can help you gain entry,” FRIDAY said after several beats of silence. “Unfortunately, this relies on your ability to remain stealthy. I found their security system, and if an alarm is tripped, the building immediately goes into lockdown. No one is permitted in or out.”

“Perfect,” you grumbled. This was exactly what you needed. A suicide mission.

“There is more,” she continued. “The moment the alarm is activated, their infrared systems are activated as well. It would render your invisibility useless. The best way to do this, is to not get caught.”

You nodded as you checked your arms for gadgets. You had your web bombs and stun webs. You were going to bring more, but the rest of Peter’s or Tony’s other inventions weren’t...inconspicuous.

“How well does this suit perform ballistically?” you asked.

“This suit can protect you from all projectiles. It can also absorb most forms of electricity.”

Well, at least you didn’t have to worry about catching a bullet.

“What about knives?”

“Handheld blades cannot penetrate the suit.”

Good. You didn’t want to get stabbed either. Been there, done that, and you didn’t want to rinse and repeat.

By the next hour, you were in the base, and in the hour after, you were in the lab where all of your friends were held hostage. Your blood boiled at what you saw as you crawled across the ceiling. Though everyone was in the same room, they were all separated from each other and bound in one way or another. You could tell that they all put up a fight. Most of them were covered in injuries and blood. Their suits were ripped and tattered. Their faces were bruised and swollen. More than that, more blood smudged the floor, and you released a quiet but furious breath at what you saw.

“FRIDAY,” you whispered. “Can you tag the enemies?”

She did so without answering, and by the time she was done, there were 20 people that you were going to have to take out as quietly as possible. You were in stealth mode, your body invisible already. If you did this right, you may be able to pull this off.

“FRIDAY, map their movements and highlight the trails.”

Again, the interface did as you asked, and you watched for several movements as all the HYDRA agents followed a pattern. This might be easier than you thought. You flicked each of your wrists and readied your gadgets as you focused. You moved fast, taking out the seven outermost agents that patrolled the perimeter. You knocked them out with well placed, silent punches before webbing them and launching them into the air. From there, you’d cover them, head to toe, in web before webbing them to the ceiling. You added more layers of webs just in case so that they couldn’t escape. By the time you were done, seven cocoon shaped lumps littered the ceiling, and you moved your attention to the inner most part of the lab. The lab was enormous considering the tech and equipment that they had. The room was tall enough that the ceiling was shrouded in shadows, so unless someone really looked, no one was going to see your handy work above them.

This was when things started to become difficult. There were too many obstacles in the way, which meant that if you weren’t careful, you could accidentally web something instead of someone. You observed the highlighted trails of their walking patterns and noticed that there were small gaps in their patrols where you could intercept them and attack. However, you wouldn’t be able to do it from the ceiling. If you wanted to be accurate, you couldn’t take the chance to attack so far away. You readied your stun webs before detaching from the ceiling and landing silently on the ground. You snuck up behind one guard before you shot him in the mouth with your web. Immediately, his body went ridged as the electric current coursed through him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and you took him down quickly and quietly. You immediately launched him into the air and shot your webs at him, the sticky substance glueing him to the ceiling with the others. You kept doing that for the next five agents. You moved amongst the desks and lab equipment as you took down more of your enemies. By this point, the other Avengers could see what was happening. They couldn’t see you, but they could see what you were doing. Their eyes followed your movements as you sent bodies and web fluid up into the ceiling.

You had seven agents left, and the lab was looking visibly scarce. The bodies on the ceiling were still and unmoving, and you were crouched on the wall as you watched your next targets. Some conversed among themselves in German and you watched them as you followed their highlighted trail.

“Status check,” one of them said in English.

You froze, your eyes widening as you looked around. Status check? Fuck!

“Status check,” he repeated as he looked around the room. His reaction was immediate when he saw the lack of reinforcements where people were once patrolling.

“Intruder alert!”

You moved, your body reacting before you had a chance to truly think about what you were doing. One soldier was moving towards a red button on the wall, and you shot webs at him, the substance stunning him as he tripped over his feet, fell over heavily, and skidded to a stop on the ground. You were still invisible, which wasn’t going to help you here shortly, but you still took advantage of the precious seconds that you had to web that same soldier to the floor. You attacked two more as you launched yourself into the air and executed a series of punches and kicks that knocked them out. You webbed them to the floor as well.

Four more, but that was when things took a turn for the worst.

You watched as they each activated a pair of goggles before slipping them over their eyes. Even from where you were, there was a high-pitched whine when the tech activated. Invisibility wasn’t going to save you now, but you did have one thing in your favor. There were four of them, and one of you, and it looked like their line of communication was limited to just this room. That meant that if they wanted reinforcements, they were going to have to get to the red button behind you.

“The spider is here!” one of them yelled as they pointed towards you. “Get them! We need their power!”

No part of you desired to be a science experiment. You frowned as you faced you’re remaining enemies. There was no point in invisibility anymore.

“FRIDAY, divert all energy to suit durability and integrity.”

Immediately, the light shifted around you. You could feel the nanobots undulate minutely as your suit seemed to ripple. The invisibility faded away to reveal you standing there, and there was a perceptible flash of light from the tech as your suit fortified. The moment you were visible again, all guns pointed at you and fired. It was a hail of bullets, and you moved quickly to upturn a metal desk and duck behind it. You were cornered and you hugged your limbs closer to your body. Bullets were ricocheting off the surrounding equipment and floors, but the worry that you felt wasn’t for yourself when you heard more metal bounce off the desk. You were terrified that someone that you loved was going to get shot in all of this.

“Uh, FRIDAY?” you said in an ill contained, nervous voice as beads of sweat trailed down your face. “Help.”

“Get to the alarm!” someone yelled behind you.

You heard feet thumping against the concrete floor and that was when FRIDAY chimed to life.

“On your right.”

No sooner was it said did an agent try to sprint past you. Instantly, you webbed his feet, and you watched as he tripped unceremoniously and slam heavily onto the floor. You covered him in a thick layer of more webs before you tucked yourself back behind the desk.

You were cornered, trapped. You leaned your head against the metal as your breaths came in short, heated pants. Your friends were still behind you. You were consumed with the thought of their safety, but now, you couldn’t think straight at all. Suddenly, the air around you was sweltering. It was like a desert-like heat suffocated you, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you began to feel your pulse throb painfully in your temples. Your hands clawed at your chest, the metal grating against metal. You knew, intrinsically, that it wasn’t the suit that was making you feel like this, but you still felt trapped inside of it. Something inside of you was screaming at you to take it off, to free yourself and breathe as tears welled behind your closed eyes.

“F-FRIDAY,” you whimpered breathlessly before you gasped.

There was a searing flash of pain in your back, an agony that rivaled the heat that was suffocating your whole body and choking out your ability to think.

“You’re having a panic attack.”

The hail of bullets suddenly stopped, and you heard screaming in both German and English.

“Surrender or we kill your friends!”

You heard the threat along with the cock of guns. They weren’t kidding, especially when you heard them grab someone.

“We will kill her!” they warned again.

Right on cue, you heard them viciously slam something against the person that they held, and her cry of pain was what almost made you spiral. Wanda. You peaked from behind the desk and saw that they were pointing a gun at her. The others were struggling to free themselves, their vigor renewed when they saw how dire the situation was. Wanda tried to use her powers, but the moment she tried, the collar flashed red before it shocked her. She didn’t get the chance to react to that pain before she was met with the butt of a gun. Her head snapped to the side and a mixture of blood and saliva sprayed out of her mouth. You gasped, your heart almost seizing in your chest at what they were doing to her. You went to stand up, the urgency to save her and everyone else strong, but not strong enough to override the panic that was about to make you vomit.

“What do I do?” you gasped violently. “What do I do?!”

“Activating protocol PAP,” FRIDAY immediately announced. The screen suddenly went dark, and you saw PAP fill the space. Panic Attack Protocol. Instantly, her voice melted away to make room for another one.

“Hey, baby.”

Wanda’s voice. It was pre-recorded and the screen flashed to life to reveal not just her, but everyone else that you loved in the compound. They all gave you loving looks and smiles. Even Fury was there, and while what you saw wasn’t really a smile, it was his version of one and you couldn’t help the silent chuckle.

“You gotta breathe for us, Y/n. Can you do that? Can you take a deep breath?”

You closed your eyes and sniffled before you took that deep breath. The video continued to play as you focused on calming down.

“That’s right, honey,” Nat’s voice said. “We’re here for you.”

“It’s been hard, kid,” Fury said in his rich timber. “It’s okay that you feel like this. Just keep breathing for us.”

The voices of your friends filled your ears, and when more tears trailed down your cheeks, it wasn’t from the panic. It was from the care and love you felt from them, that they all loved you and implemented a protocol for when you felt like this.

“Hey, Y/n.” Tony. “I know you don’t hear me say this enough, but I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you. You survived a lot, even before Venom. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Take this moment. Breathe. Know that we’re all here for you.”

You let the voices fill you, their words of encouragement louder than the agonizing beat of your heart. You let their love chase away the fear. You inhaled deep breaths at a time and exhaled all the fiery heat that suffocated you. It took a few seconds, but you felt yourself go back to normal, and when you did, you opened your eyes and focused. The pain in your back disappeared the moment your fear did, and you clenched your hands into fists.

“FRIDAY?”

The video ended abruptly, the screen going back to reveal multiple readings on your surroundings.

“I’m here.”

“There are three of them left. What’s the best way to take them all out?”

“I won’t repeat myself!” he warned.

You forced yourself to stay calm as you waited. When FRIDAY was done, she showed you what to do in a step-by-step tutorial. You watched the animation, your eyebrow quirking. It would be tricky, but it was manageable. You readied your last gadgets in each arm, stood up, and faced the last few agents with your hands up.

“Don’t do anything stupid!”

You shrugged your shoulders and fluttered your fingers. Meanwhile, you gauged just how far apart everyone was from each other. Everyone’s sole focus was on you, which was good. You looked at Wanda, and despite her being unable to see your face, she knew that you were looking at her. It was like she read your mind though her powers were blocked. She swallowed thickly and nodded inconspicuously. You both knew that while her hands were bound to her chest, her body was free to move. She could get away from him if the timing was right. You hoped that she could feel you mentally count down as you swallowed thickly. The man that held her pressed the nozzle of his gun to the underside of her chin.

“Surrend-”

You were already moving. With one outstretched arm, you launched a stun web straight at Wanda, and with the other arm, you launched your web bomb. The bomb detonated and took out the two agents that stood too closely to each other. A web of fluid soaked them, and it stuck them to each other and to the desks that they were standing nearby. You could hear grunts, yelling, and the grating sounds of desks moving as they tried and failed to free themselves. The moment you moved was the same moment that the man tried to pull the trigger. You heard the loud pop, but luckily, you and Wanda were a second faster than him. She jumped out of the way of his gun, just as your electrified web landed on her collar. The juice it had was just enough to fry the circuitry and render it powerless. The moment it shut down, Wanda’s eyes turned a furious red, her magic engulfing him before she launched him across the room. He hit the far wall with a sickening crack, the solid surface cracking under the force before he landed in a silent heap on the ground. It was quiet for a second, the immediate danger taken care of before you released the breath you were holding. Your friends all shot you grateful smiles as you went and freed them one by one.

“I love you all but, uh, I’m never doing some shit like this again,” you said jokingly, your hands moving to release them from their bonds and the machines that they were all attached to.

Part 21

[curiositymemes]

STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been? 

you settled down?

you feelin’ right? 

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean? 

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die. 

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim. 

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose. 

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad. 

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it. 

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes. 

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep. 

i’ll love you when the oceans dry. 

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs. 

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it. 

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours. 

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit. 

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone. 

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back. 

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive. 

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind. 

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt. 

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end. 

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’. 

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation. 

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing. 

i would leave if only i could find a reason. 

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them. 

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been. 

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick. 

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it. 

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you. 

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended). 

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth. 

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me. 

i’m angry again. 

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two. 

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there. 

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright? 

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown. 

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out. 

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i���ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far.��

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love. 

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.