#Triggering story

[inbabylontheywept]

i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.

she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.

so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.

babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?

you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.

skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.

(it was not my best costume.)

my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.

so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.

i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.

so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.

so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.

"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"

and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said

"overalls"

and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."

and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.

the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.

first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.

second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.

and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.

she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."

"lets watch shrek 2."

so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.

every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.

and god help him when he figures it out.

other bad dating story here.

[sarahdogoc80]

My Cancer Journey

Note: To protect myself and my family names will be changed. And I might leave some events vague because either I don't remember in full or for privacy reasons. TW : Cancer, Hospitals, parental abuse, suicidal thoughts, religious confusion.

When I was three I was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. This cancer is in the soft tissue of the foot and hands. It was in my left foot. When I was three I had tripped over a manga doodle. Due to the cancer making it to the bone it had started eating it causing it to be weaker thus easily broken. My mom had noticed the tumor and kept taking me to the doctors but they said it was normal swelling due to the broken bone. Around this time my parents were fighting. And my dad had kidnapped me to psychologically attack my mom. My dad would purposely drive into the driveway with the car door lock and laugh as me and my mom cried and tired to get to each other. The only reason my mom got me back was because my dad had missed an appointment my mom made months ago. That appointment would have told them I had cancer. But at the time they didn't know it was cancer but it was an important appointment my dad had technical kept me from. So my mom's parents managed to get a lawyer and get me back. When she got me back I had lice and a bad diaper rash.

When my mom found out I had cancer she was extremely vulnerable and my dad realized how bad he messed up so took advantage of my mom to drop the charges as he was looking at prison time. He pulled the I want to be with my daughter before she could die. So all he was charged with was parental interference.

He loved me so much that when they were told my parents they had to pay for the first round of chemo. My dad didn't want to pay for it and insed wanted to pay for my mom's fertility treatment. So he guilt tripped my grandma (she felt responsible for my cancer because I broke my ankle at her house. ). So my dad told her she had to pay for it and acted like he didn't have the money. So my grandma sold her car took up a second job and even begged her mother for money. To note my great grandma gladly gave my grandma the money as it was for my cancer treatment. My grandma just didn't want to ask he mother for money because she had to financially help my grandma though her whole terrible marriage. Because my grandpa was an ass at the time. But once my grandma got the money she was helping my mom clean my parents bed room and they found around 100,000 dollars in 2003 money, in shoe boxes. When my mom confronted my dad he said it was for my mom's fertility treatment because he needed a son. So because I was born with the wrong genitals my dad didn't care if I lived or died. And just used me as a pawn to hurt my mom.

My dad was hardly there my whole treatment. My mom said it's because he was always working which is true but he also just doesn't view me as valuable because in Mexican culture the boys are what matter. My dad later in my life said he wasn't going to waste his time on me because I was a girl and all I was going to be was someone else wife. My mom did get pregnant and she had my little brother. I wanted my brother. I even told the nurse who was doing the ultrasound I hope it's a boy because if it was a girl I'd throw her in the trash (I was three I didn't understand what I was saying... But I wonder why I had this opinion hmmm). Dispite dying of cancer I wanted to help my mom with my brother and we were inseparable.

During my chemo we found out I can't handle regular anesthesia. We found this out after the first time they put me under to I think either to do a biopsy or drill into my hips to make sure the cancer wasn't else were. While I'm a twilight state (my eyes were closed and I wasn't aware) I tried jumping out the car window on the highway as it started wearing off. My mom had to hold me down in the backseat because I kept insisting I had to jump out the window. This so a genetic disorder which mostly effects people with blue eyes. And while I had brown eyes my mom had blues eyes and also had this problem. An example is my mom while out for her hysterectomy she "woke up" during her surgery and said she had to pick me and my brother up from school. The doctor has to hold her down because she started getting violent. She wasn't aware of this and doesn't remember doing it. But we have this problem so when they had to put me out for surgery or just to get an MRI as I was very combative thought my whole chemo process. They had to use propofol (the stuff that killed Michel Jackson). And because this was 2003-2006 they had to have one the the nurses pump the breather by hand.

When my parents were discussing my treatment plan the children's hospital almost took my parents to court because they didn't want to do radiation treatment and just chemo. My parents said if they did radiation it would destroy my leg and foot and they'd have to amputate. Which was unacceptable to my dad. My parents wanted me to keep the foot and leg no matter what. As my dad didn't want a physical disabled kid. So they went with this very experimental treatment plan. Due to this being experimental my mom let them write about my case so long as they censor my name. So my treatment was used to help other kids.

Unfortunately in my teens I felt extremely guilty about this because I am in so much pain and the thought of this being inflicted on another kid hurt me. Infact I came face to face with this . Dispite my cancer being rare in 10th grade a girl in my school system was diagnosed with the same cancer and I had a mental breakdown. Because I met her (thought I didn't tell her I had the same cancer not that my research was going to be used to help her) but seeing her so hopefully and happy that she might survive. I just cried and cried because I didn't want this girl to be in as much pain as I was in. Especially because the opioid epidemic hit... So all I could get was lyrica and while it helped I was still in chronic pain. And the thought of her having to endure this just broke me. I started hating the whole medical system, resending I was considered a success case and that because I lived it was concerned a good treatment plan. I wrote several suicide notes outlining my pain and how the pain controlled and ruined my life. And I just wanted to kill myself because I thought if I did then they would have to consider it a failure and rethink how they treated it. I was in a dark place and I thought i would save this girl the pain if I just died. I never went thought with it though because my brother needed me and even though I was in an awful home life. I cared more about him then some girl I didn't know. I moved away from my home town so idk if she even survived but I hope she did and I hope they treated her better. And she is happy.

Back to 2003. I was very combative my whole chemo treatment causing me to have to be sedated or held down alot. While I didn't know the full scope of my ordeal I knew the chemo was killing me. And to watch my mother hold me down while injecting me with poison caused a lot of trauma. And because my parents hated therapy I never went after chemo even though the doctor said I should. But that also damaged my relationship with my mother because I knew the chemo was hurting me and to also see doctors doing this made me resent doctors my whole childhood. Thought because of this headstrong attitude I also told the hospital I didn't want a wig. My mom said I said quote "I don't care if I'm bald the other kids don't have to play me." Or something along those lines. Now I called a couple years ago so I don't remember which organization it was. But I very clearly remember a make a wish type organization coming to grand me a wish. My parents were excited because hey thought I was going to say Disneyland. But when I said I wanted to go to college to be a CSI agent or help murdered children they were pissed. After chemo when I wanted to go to Disneyland. My dad said I should have used my wish then if I wanted to go so badly. I would have wished for that if I really wanted to go. Supposably this organization has an education trust set up for me. But due to a flood my parents lost the paperwork, and no bank I call or make a wish type organization I call says they granted me a wish. So I don't know what happened to that.

Something I need to note is I was a child raised in a racist house. Yes dispite me being biracial both my parents were still racist towards each other races and others. So when a basketball star I think it was Lebron James but I could be wrong as I don't know Basketball stars. Came to the hospital to meet the children and their parents. My dad was a huge basketball fan. So when LeBron tried approaching me to give me a signed basketball I ran to my parents and refused to take it. My dad asked why I didn't want it(because he wanted the ball) I apparently told LeBron to his face I wasn't taking the ball from him because he was black. All the parents and nurses stared at my parents who left with me in "shame". When really it was because I did that out loud and embarrassed them and didn't just take the ball. Note: they didn't correct this racism at all. I had to correct myself and learn about other races when I got older. So I don't still hold any of these beliefs but I am being honest with how I was as a kid.

My parents did take one vacation on their own dime (I think) to Canada to go visit Hershey Park in the beginning of my treatment. But otherwise I was either at the hospital or home

My mom also started cheating on my dad at this time and bringing home her partner when he was at work. Looking back this really grosses me out. She just had my brother and I was dying yet she couldn't control herself for a couple years. And worse she bring them over to the house. I have no clue how she squeezed in cheating after having a baby with digestive issues and the other one is on chemo. But whatever.

My chemo is a blur and mostly just remember it as trama.

I guess a "funny" story is at the start of my chemo my grandpa noticed I wasn't eating and kept throwing up. So when he went to get my brother medication from a Native American friend of his (note: this friend was a Native American herbalist medicine doctor of some kind (sorry idk the correct term) in Arizona he gave my brother essentially probiotics (before they because main stream) to give him some gut bacteria my brother was missing. Honest to God they were going to cut my brother open to see what the problem was. And a week before the surgery my grandpa started giving my brother the powder and his stomach problems stopped.) Something else he got from this friend was a weed brownie. My grandpa was a hippie so he knew what weed was and knew what he was giving me. After I ate it my mom said I was eating like I hadn't in over a year, was laughing and spinning around. My mom asked what was up with me and my grandpa (her dad) laughed and said it was a weed brownie. Note my parents are both huge pot smokers infact my nickname is weed related. Lol. My mom was pissed because she was worried about it coming up in a blood test (the hospital never found out).

I also hate morphine. I still do. I would only take Tylenol at home for the pain. But at the hospital that was what they give me. This is were I learned to lie. Because I have a distinct memory of a nurse coming in to ask if I was in pain and that she'd make it stop. No one listened when I said as a kid I didn't like what they gave me for pain. So I started lying about not being in pain so they wouldn't give me morphine. No matter how much pain I was in I hid it so they wouldn't give me morphine. So that was a disaster. They started giving me I think liquid Percocet when I was in remission which I liked because it didn't make me feel like death and actually helped my pain.

Once they removed the tumor they tried giving me a walker and wanted me in physical therapy. Now I don't know if this was because the doctor weren't 100 sure about what they did to my foot and how it would affect me. Or the Physical therapist didn't get some notes. But they were trying to get me to do stuff I just physical couldn't do anymore or were extremely painful. So I started just sitting there and refusing to to anything because no one was listening and I wasn't going it be put though this. So I stopped going and taught myself to walk again my mom said. As for the walker they gave me I used it once then threw it behind our couch and never used it again.

Now I need to note I am an atheist (specifically part of the Satanic Temple) so I'm not trying to make this a religious thing but I'm telling you what I experienced. During my chemo another family member had his cancer come back. He was named Uncle N (not saying his real name). I became very close to him because we could understand each other. I remember we'd eat grape popsicles together. He was very old when I was born. He is like my great uncle. But the night I went into surgery he died. And even is believed to have died during my surgery. I was pronounced legally dead for 5 seconds during the surgery. I remember watching my own surgery. Then Uncle N came in. I was excited to see him. He told me it was his time to go and wanted to say goodbye. He told me to not give up. That it wasn't my time. And that everything would be okay. That he would watch over me. I was a little confused and sad and he told me he loved me and it was about time to wake up. I woke up with my family surrounding me smiling but I started crying saying uncle N died. They were all confused and said he was fine. My mom left her cell phone in the car and went to go get so I could call him and tell him they got the cancerous tumor out. When my mom came back she was crying and said uncle N was actually dead. My mom then asked how I knew. I said he visited me before I woke up. She wasn't really listening and everyone stepped out to cry. The nurses tried making me feel better all pitched in and brought me a fish cake later that day. Idk what I experienced. Idk if it was just the brain doing it's thing. But it felt real to me.

This is all I can write right now as I am crying. But if you have any questions feel free to ask. And I will definitely be going into detail about my life and how I was living in cancer's shadow. If you made it though thank you for listening.

[cheesemenace]

Everything Has A Memory

Chapter 4 - Tempest

Air was sharply sucked into my lungs. My hands tried to find anchor on the smooth surface of the floor, scratching, scraping, and pawing at the cold gloss. But to no avail. 

        What the hell was that? 

        My body calmed its erratic movements as the fright lessened, but my mind is never quiet.

        I was somehow able to witness the event before my current situation… How? It doesn’t make any sense. Was it something to do with what I had been doing before? Maybe the place I touched on my arm? The vision- or whatever that was- ended when the wire planted in my skin… So maybe, just maybe. 

        I turned towards my wire pierced arm once again. My blood jeweled hand shook as it moved. So much blood. My vision blurred for a second. Focused. Unfocused. Color blurred together, solidified, only to blur once again. Sweat seeped through the roots of my hair and formed at my forehead. I gagged. 

        The room started to spin.

        Nausea.

        Probably from traveling through the white space. The blood didn’t help either.

        My insides felt like they were turning within my skin as if I were placed in the belly of a ship being sacrificed to the harsh waves of the sea. 

0.7 pages · 209 words

[californiannostalgia]

when a story has a predestined ending and you thought you already knew who the characters would become, but then you're hit with the fact that no, you actually didn't know these characters at all, they were unknowable to you until this very moment when a larger portion of their life has been revealed to you, and you realize, abruptly, that they had lives and losses and the aching desperation of a love they guarded with every piece of stubborn will they could muster, and the unknowable is suddenly rendered sublime for its opacity

[jahdefender]

So I found this posted to reddit and I wanted to share it here because I'm sure there are some fans who haven't seen the Adventures Bible stuff. (I had not so this is just referencing myself)

[spirk-trek]

Nightvisions Fanzine & Novel | Merle Decker, Signe Landon (1979)

Nightvisions, by Susan K. James and Carol A. Frisbie, is one of the first standalone k/s novels published in a zine. It can be read in full here!

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Penny: [huffs] What now? Levi: Déjà vu much. Penny: Shut up.

UNIDENTIFIED RETINA – ACCESS DENIED

Aster: Woah. Penny: Don’t suppose you can pick that? [Robin scoffed, shaking his head]

Jacob: Maybe one of these bodies would work. Levi: Jesus, no one’s dragging a dead body around-.. besides, the eyes are the first to rot. Tess: EW-.. how do you know that?

Levi: It’s basic anatomy! Aster: Nerd. Penny: Lol.

RETINA IDENTIFIED – ACCESS GRANTED

Levi: What the fuck, Robin?! Robin: I didn’t do anything! Jacob: You didn’t hack it?

Robin: No, I just looked at it! [Levi squinted suspiciously] Robin: What?! It’s not like I’ve been here before.

Levi: If you say so. Jacob: Pretty weird, either way. Penny: Whatever, let’s keep going.

…

Penny: [groans] This place is even more disgusting than the last. Aster: Yeah.. if this is a prank, I’m way over it. Penny: Same.

Robin: Well, we’re stuck here until we find a way out. Tess: Great. Jacob: C’mon, let’s sit down for a sec…

[electricity humming]

[tiny-steve]

the thing that makes my entire body itch about that darcy confession scene parallel is that that's the fucking MIDPOINT of darcy's and elizabeth's story. you've baked the pancake halfway and you've tossed it in the air and you're holding your breath --- and now you've got to catch it and BAKE THE OTHER SIDE!!! you can't just roll the credits and leave me hanging like that!!! what if there's never a third season??? the pancake is ON THE GROUND NEIL!!!

[racke7]

Ectoplasm and Jason Todd

Danny is wandering around Gotham (visiting, chasing a ghost, running from GIW, attending college, etc) and stumbles across Jason.

Jason who is flaring his ecto-signature like a madman (is he trying to get into trouble?).

Danny drags the guy into a nearby alley to give the guy some kind of crash-course on how not to do that.

Jason isn't sure why this guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley, but if it's a fight he wants, Jason would be able to fight more freely in an alley, so he doesn't struggle. (Does he know that Jason is Red Hood? Does he think that Jason is a random civilian? Is it just him, or does this guy have really cold hands?)

Jason isn't sure why this guy is now trying to... ask him to meditate? The fuck is going on? But if it's not a fight, then... maybe it's fine to just listen to the weirdo? Taking a few deep breaths isn't going to hurt him.

Danny is very proud of himself for guiding the ecto-flaring guy through how to not flare his ecto-signature. He's such a good teacher.

And then Jason collapses.

Turns out, Jason has been using his anger to create a feedback-loop that artificially raises his ectoplasm-levels.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to live, but they'll also produce ectoplasm when feeling strong emotions. For most ghosts, this a bit like saying "everyone needs a good cry every now and then". For Jason, he's been basically aiming a gun at his own face for the adrenaline-rush. Constantly.

So, Danny is now holding onto a barely-conscious person who desperately needs more ectoplasm. As in, this is a medical emergency, and every second probably counts.

Danny, being that he wasn't planning on needing to carry around some kind of ectoplasm-container at all times (who the fuck does that? His parents, that's who), is now desperately trying to problem-solve this.

Danny realizes that, actually, even in his human form? Danny has a lot of ectoplasm in his body. Enough that he could probably save this guy by... feeding him his blood.

Cue intimately sexy reverse-vampire scene.

And oh boy, if Danny's blood doesn't taste fantastic to Jason's ecto-starved self.

[gunsatthaphan]

"I just haven't found the right person for me."

[keywhole]

ok crawling out of my cave rq bc this is driving me crazy (mouthwashing spoilers since this game is kinda new at the time of posting) i see you guys supporting and loving anya as you should but we all have to consider something. especially the people who don’t like anya because “how can u be a nurse and be afraid of blood 🙄” hey do you remember she’s pregnant. do you know that adds to the the mass of her nausea. do you know within this game she is 2+ months pregnant. do you know what that does to someone psychologically. not only that, but she is in a literal nightmare scenario. i feel like not enough people are talking about what that can do to anya’s psychology and how she deals with certain things

[swift-kwikster]

A comic about Sam and Max being trans guys, taking place at Sam's old job as a stewardess before he transitioned. Being that it's Sam & Max, weird ridiculous hijinks ensure.

So... After two years of working on this on and off, it's finished! I had posted pages as I was making them on here before but those posts are no longer on my blog- I actually redid most of the pages with new jokes and panels, and fixed a lot. I'm really proud of how far this has come. :)

Please reblog if you can if you like it, so more can see it! It'd mean so much! Thank you. <3

[vgadvisor]

[gameraboy2]

"Loose Tongues Mean Hot Triggers" 10 Story Western Magazine, July 1950 Cover by Norman Saunders

[arandomidiot]

Someone should probably help him

Also I finished trigger happy havoc yesterday it was so hype I loved it I will play goodbye despair tomorrow very hyped I love all the characters in that game‼️‼️‼️

[valfeathers]

happy birthday worstie <3