#Tim: see????? fuckin’ told you

[ashenquill]

[Tim and Jason watching Dick as he fakes his death for a mission]

Tim: Man, he really is peak pretty boy

Jason: Right? Like, stop serving while you’re dying. It’s disrespectful.

Tim: For real, like, at least YOU had your priorities straight.

Jason: Exactly, I—

Jason:

Jason: Now hold up just a second—

Tim: I mean, you looked like shit when you died

Jason: THE FUCK, TIM????

[visdollie]

☆ having fun without me?

sum: vi isnt happy when she sees you posing on your insta story with another girl at a party

cw: wlw, angry sex, overstim, fem!reader, dom!vi, clit rubbing (r!receiving), dirty talk, slapping, name calling (slut), not proofread

fucked.

fucked is what you were when you realized the time. after countless hours of heartfelt conversations and a plethora of shots, you had gotten so distracted at the party that you forgot to get home to vi on time.

10:00 pm was the time vi told you before your friend picked you up. it was fucking 2:31 am. you already knew how impatient she could be.

"aw, leaving so soon?" a girl you met at said party whined at you with a tilt to her head as she watched you rush to gather your belongings and text your friend a quick "meet me outside" in an obvious hurry. the same girl you decided to snap a cute 'harmless' selfie with and post to your story.

you dashed out the door, leaving her a quick "so sorry we'll meet again soon!" before rushing to the parking lot, searching for your friends car with a look of fear on your face.

"im fucked, im so fucked!" you yapped her ears off, just watching her roll her eyes and drive you home.

---

shivers went down your spine as you steadily unlocked and opened your shared front door, avoiding making any noise in hopes that vi was just asleep, and would just penalize you in the morning.

you were practically on your tippy toes, but the creaky door did you no justice as it slipped out your grip and slammed closed.

"fuck." you whispered.

it was terrifyingly dark in your home. not a single peep or sound besides the loud ass air conditioner. you thought you were fine for the night, but no.. not until your girlfriend snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you back roughly as a yelp slipped from your lips.

"ah! vi.. you scared me." you giggled anxiously. vi could sense that you both knew the obvious issue which placed tension between the situation as she planted kisses across your collarbone.

"missed me?" she muttered on your warm, sticky skin in a malicious tone. you nodded your head, too nervous to say anything that could possibly anger her more.

she crept closer to your ear. "was having fun without me, yeah? takin pics with random girls, lettin them grab all on your ass? bet you had a great fucking time.. slut." she bit down on your neck, not hard enough to leave a scar, but harsh enough to taste the metallic flavor of your blood. you whimpered, loud.

"m sorry.. was jus having fun, n i didnt realize the tim-"

you yelped as she grabbed your wrist and dragged you down the so familiar hallway to your bedroom, muttering a rough "shut it. you saw this coming, baby."

the grip she had on your wrists tightened, her nails digging into your soft skin that made it obvious to you she was getting angrier by the second. was she angry because you got home late? or because of your oh so touchy friend? you assumed it was both.

all thoughts were snapped out of your head as she threw you on the silky, crepe pink sheets and immediately started attacking your neck with bites and bruises.

"mmh.." you whined pathetically, letting her take your brain over and dumb it down. her hand slid down your body, putting it up your skirt to rub at your clit at a rugged pace to make you more wet, as if you already werent.

your poor body struggled in determination to move away from her touch but her grip on your hips with her free hand kept you still. she lifted up from your collarbone, admiring the mess she made. "keep still, slut. shouldve been home on time, but was too busy out fuckin girls, yeah?" her pace on your clit grew faster.

"f-ffuhck.. was.. wasnt fuckin no one, vi! was jus havin fun.. d.. dont even know the girls name.. m sorry.." you babbled on and on hoping for some relief on your poor clit as she went faster each word you spoke. she had no plans of showing mercy, no way. she was way too pissed for that.

"yeah, right. she shouldnt have been touchin you like that, baby." a loud, harsh slap met your thigh, pulling a choked out moan from the back of your throat. "p-please!"

she felt you growing wetter through your panties, deciding to pause her steady motions to rip them off. she grinned at how wet you were. your pussy was glistening, practically reflecting off the ceiling light. you stuffed your face in your pillow in embarassment.

"so fuckin wet, its like you were waiting on this. prolly were, slut." she belittled you, listening to your whines of disagreement. her fingers rubbed up and down your cunt, lubricating them so she'd be able to fuck you senseless. sloppy noises of you pussy making her drip through her own underwear.

you keened at the feeling. "p-please.. fill me up vi! hurry.." vi let out a grunt of annoyance at your impatience. a rough SLAP at your pussy. yeah, that'll shut you up.

tears welled up in your eyes as you pressed your lips closed, a long whimper leaving them. "always so fucking noisy." your girlfriend quietly muttered before shoving two of her fingers deep in your cunt. "just wanna be stuffed full with my fingers, dont you baby?"

throwing your head back at the feeling, you nodded hastily. brain going dumb as she worked her digits in and out of you, thumb going at your clit. "tell me baby, did you do anything with that girl, hmm? why were you with her?" she spoke to you softly, as if she wasnt pissed a few seconds ago.

"w..was just a friend vi, promise! she.. haah.. means nothin to mme.. pleasepleaseplease.."

she snickered at your babbling, fucking you quicker as a reward of your honesty. you knew vi wasnt really worried about you leaving her. you adored her and she adored you on an unfathomable level, she just worried about your safety. (and had a big fear of other bitches growing crushes on you.)

"gon.. gonna cum.." you whined, legs trembling from how sore they were growing. vi felt you clenching around her rough fingers, thumb rubbing at your clit to loosen you up.

"cmon, baby. cum for me. let go all over my fingers.." her words made you sob out even more. you clawed at the sheets, cumming all over them with a long, drawn out wail.

she kept fucking her fingers into you, adding a third one. you started kicking your legs in overstimulation, whining for her to let up but she was relentless.

"tell me, baby. tell me who you belong to."

you doubted you could even speak properly due to the aggressive fingerfucking, but you made an attempt, tears dripping onto the sheets at this point. pathetic.

yet you tried anyway. "y..you vi.. belong to.. you.."

she faught back a laugh, removing her fingers from your cunt and planting a kiss to your forehead. you laid back onto the bed, immediately squeezing your thighs closed.

"you did so well, cupcake. but you arent going out for a while."

you frowned, rolling your eyes at her. secretly though, you didnt mind. if it means being able to spend more time with your girlfriend, you dont mind.

@ visdollie 2024

[casinocarpediem]

▪︎■☆ Новое Mолоко 🐮🥛 ☆■▪︎

(Translation: New Milk)

☆ 🔞!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!🔞

☆ male! subtop! Francis Mosses / male! dombottom! Reader

☆ overstimulation if ya squint a lil, milking, breeding, dumbification, passing out, belly bulge (If your not into this, look away!! 👻👻)

☆ implied Russian speaking Francis (translated from google translate and research for needed accuracy, however, any form of critique or correction definetely is allowed!)

☆ short (I think???)

☆ author has played Not My Neighbor

°○☆nsfw under the cut☆○°

You and Francis had a thing. And, fuck, for a minimum wage worker who barely gets any kind of rest at all, he's fucking good at what he does. He's a big fan of milking. Not his job, no, he could rant about how shitty it can be despite not wanting to get a new one (A/N: so real) but he's a fan of milking. Just the other kind of milking.

The first tim you two had sex, he was pretty sheepish about it, yeah. He didn't know if you prefered topping or bottoming so he settled for a handjob. You did the same as well. Until you both got used to each other and realized that he was pretty flexible. He'd do whatever you'd want to do, whatever you had in store, as long as if it wasn't too much for either of you. He loves fucking but he surely isn't a sex devient. Somewhere in the middle. Pliant to whatever you to had planned. But recently, he may or may not have discovered a new kink. Somethig that made his legs flex and his stamina increase and the gooey, warm, and fuzzy gears in his head grind back to life to keep on going. The last time you two had sex, there was now no condom, and he was pounding you into the bed that you swore Isaack would definetely send a formally written complain, persuasive enough for the both of you to not have such intense, hot, steamy sex for the next few months, (He's a reporter after all, have to respect the man informing the people, and he definetely has a way with words).

Humming, groaning, a little against your neck. You swore it was like a kitten, as if he was purring in a way. You pulled his hair as per usual and with a louder grunt his dark brown eyes roll up just a slight and flutter, closing shut as he fills you to the brim with his warm baby batter. Shaking, sweating, and biting his lip when he just keeps on cumming until theres nothing more to give. Or is there?

What he didn't expect, was when you suddenly whispered in the midst of him balls deep inside you,

"Thats it... good boy, you fuckin slut... Cum in me, keep milkin' yourself f'me"

Ah shit, he swore something inside of him just snapped loose. With the way he shivered violently, and as your hand loosened on his sweaty brown hair he moves again. Oh how odd, after a few rounds, the last one being penetration, he's always so tired, opting to give you a handjob or finger you if you didnt get a taste of your climax but shit. If this wasn't hot then what was?!

When you had basically degraded him to milk his balls dry you didn't mean literally, but fuck. This was so appealing, that your little milk boy had his quirks.

You look down at yourself seeing the bulge appearing on your abdoment everytime he thrusts in and god does it make you feel dizzy. Your hard dick, leaking as well just begging to cum while Francis gasps and shudders a little more, oh he looks so dumb. Trying to do as he's told. To keep milking himself. Milking himself for you. Just for motherfucking you. It keeps fuzzy sparks inside of his brain that has him smiling and drooling against your chest.

"Awe, what an adorable little cow you are... Milking your-...yourself for me... Giving me every ounce of that sweet sweet milk of yours, hmm? You wanna give me your milk Francis? You wanna fucking cum in me again?"

He feels so lightheaded that he smiles dumbly at the idea and nods as if his head is too heavy, full of warm cream. Muttering several words in russian mixed in with english as he nods slowly, trembling as his cock, still hard and moving perfectly against every spot inside of you.

"Please please please К-Куколка please... fuck fuckk- let me cum... inside... inside... cum inside please please milk me- oh... П-Пожалуйста... З-...Золотце... Пожалуйста..."

The pathetic, brown haired man sobs. Pawing at your sides like an injured little puppy. Begging so prettily, who could deny those eyes of his? all teary and tired. Small blobs of salty water dripping down his eyebags which were now disappearing, thanks to yourself for keeping his sleep schedule normal again after years of nap malnutrition.

After a few more moments of Francis groaning so softly against your ear, you feel yourself about to cum too, and when you order it directly, he really does come undone. Panting like a dog in heat while nails dig against his back skin. All the while he buries himself deep inside of you once again and fills you up with a second load of his fluids that it's practically drooling out of your hole. You hiss as well, shutting your eyes with a shudder as your dick spurts out a thick white rope of cum, coating Francis' stomach and your chest. Fuck.

Francis pants, collapsing on you. You gently push him to the side and just watch him catch his breath. Eyes closed, skin warm and sweaty while he's still inside you. All soft. But its not uncomfortable. At least now, you definetely know how you can abuse this new found information with your lovely boyfriend.

[thatstupidone]

Red Hood stopped at the Titans Tower, the place he knew his replacement would be. He had checked the logs, and security cameras, there was no way he wouldn't be here. Jason was going to teach the little birdie a lesson.

Except the kid wasn't there. In fact it looked like no ones been here in days. With a rage filled punch he ended up putting a large hole in the wall. The misty green anger clouding his better judgement as he stalked out the tower, ready to search all of Gotham for the replacement.

It wasn't until he was passing by one of the closed stores that he saw Robin in the reflection of the window. At least he thought he did, but when he took a second look there was nothing. Jason just continued his search, trying to get the image of Robin staring at him out of his head.

Jason didn't end up finding the replacement. Hell he couldn't even find anything that suggested the kid was even real! To add onto his problem he kept seeing the little shit at every turn. Jason was pretty sure he was going crazy.

He saw him in the shadows of the alleys. Saw him when he was meeting with some goons and making sure they followed his rules. Saw him when when he wasn't out as Red Hood. Everytime he was just staring at Jason, like he could see into his soul, but every time Jason tried getting a closer look he was gone the next second.

After a week he was almost close to just tracking down Bruce and forcing him to do something, because he couldn't be fuckin hallucinating all this! Items around him were starting to become misplaced, some money here, a book there. Even his bike was once moved!

What finally did it for him though was after he came back to one of his safe houses at midnight. The place was his most protected one. He just wanted coffee, but then the lights shut off. Immediately Jason reached for one of his guns, looking around, he swore he saw the kid in front of him. (And no, he didn't scream.) When the light turned back on no one was there.

The next night he found himself on the rooftops of Gotham. He had placed himself right in the middle of Bruce's patrol route, he was going to end this now.

"Red Hood." Batman greeted with a clipped voice.

Jason slowly reached for his helmet. He noticed how tense Bruce was, he was waiting for an attack, but this wasn't for that.

"Hey, B." He replied once the hood was off, the domino mask now the only thing covering his face. "I want you to tell the replacement to fucking stop this shit." He got right to the point.

Bruce gave him a confused hum, "Explain-"

So Jason did. He told him of how the little shit kept appearing and disappearing and that he was definitely doing it to mess with him and that there was going to be violent consequences if it didn't stop.

Silence settled over them after the threat before Bruce spoke again, confusion and concern lacing his voice. "Tim has been out of the city for the last week, on a mission. Are you okay Jason?"

"I know what I've been seeing! And I've looked everywhere- when I was, you know. Anyways I just want to he left the fuck alone! I don't even care about hurting him anymore!"

Jason didn't wait for Bruce to say anything else, making his exit. The entire conversation had him really starting to doubt if he was right or this really was some hallucination.

It wasn't until two days later that he saw the kid again. This time though, when he blinked, the kid was still there. Sitting in the kitchen of his safe house in his civvies, instead of the usual Robin outfit, and drinking fucking tea. He had the balls to turn to Jason with a smirk on his face!

This time when he went to punch his replacement he wasn't seeing green and fueled only by rage. He grunted as be fell to the floor after tripping into the now empty chair.

"You fucking bitch!" He screamed as he pulled himself up. Glaring at the teen. "You're lucky if I don't still decide to kill your fucking ass!!"

Tim just laughed. At first the idea was just to disappear until Red Hood stopped, but then he found out who the guy really was- and well Tim wasn't going to pass up on the perfect opportunity to mess with his former hero.

They played a little game of cat and mouse until Jason gave up in trying to hurt Tim, he honestly didn't even know if it was worth it now. He just made himself a cup of tea, along with another one for Tim as his cup got cold, and actually talk with him. It was odd, but not un welcomed.

It wasn't the last he saw of his idiot brother. Some times he would just pop up and disappear, other times he joined Jason for tea or even a meal. Jason swore he was going to catch his disappearing act one day, prove he wasn't just insane.

[magnoliasandarson]

ice and stone, deadweight redux

In an odd sort of self-punishing way, Jason Todd liked to visit his own grave.

When he first "came back" he had half-crawled back to the unforgiving stone and thrown up, hysterically panicking when his mind told him it was dirt leaving his lips. He had wept and screamed until his voice gave out, trapped in a hellish loop of warring phantom sensations. One second, he was burning alive- the next, suffocating on icy mud.

But that was then, and this is now.

Now, he had once again been unable to keep his cool at a Wayne family function. Now, he had shattered an expensive-looking crystal glass in his fist and stormed out of the formal dining room. Now, he was a monster to them again. Merry-fuckin-Christmas.

So, here he sat, perched six feet over where his corpse once lay, and mourned the boy that should exist instead of him.

It was oddly festive in the cemetery. Blood-red poinsettias and fragrant garlands adorned every other monument, with little LED candles glimmering here and there. The rubble of Sheila Haywood's marble gravestone sparkled in the reflection of bright city lights—like twinkling stars shining accusingly over at him. Sue him, but Jason had taken a crowbar to her marker almost immediately after arriving in Gotham.

He stared at the epitaph: Rest in Peace. There was crystal from his glass still embedded in his hand, glittering like diamonds amidst the rivulets of blood leaving his palm. His eyes followed the journey of the shimmering scarlet over his thigh and down to the powdery snow under him.

He didn't really remember crawling out. The pits had taken away the brunt of the scars, but there were still white lines traced into the tan skin of his hands. He didn't care to think about how deep the scarring must have been for it to stay.

Jason found himself trapped, staring at the red flowers blooming beneath him. Some part of him wondered if the blood would find its way to the wreckage of his casket, to the gore he'd left in his wake so long ago. Logically, he figured Dick would wander over soon, once he got done yelling at Bruce and arguing with Damian.

He never guessed it would be Tim.

"Hey," Jason would never in a million years admit it, but he was privately a little pleased that Tim had come looking for him. He had fucked up so spectacularly with his brother, had given him every reason to despise him- to want him dead, and yet, here Tim was. Awkwardly standing just on the other side of Jason's headstone, face pinched like he'd eaten an especially sour lemon.

Jason tilted his head up, something in his neck cracking as his chin left his sternum, "Sup, Timbit."

Tim looked genuinely pained as he stepped around the grave and lowered himself to sit a few feet away on the snow, "Y'know, just seeing the sights, festive lights, my brother bleeding out in snow- the holiday favorites."

Jason barked a laugh as something in his shoulders loosened, the kid was a bit of a bastard but he was funny, "You get forced to check on the charity case?"

"Drew the short straw, yeah," Tim's face was pale, save for the red coloring his nose, "do you need a med kit?"

Jason Peter Todd; Beloved Son and Friend. Jason's lips half formed the words as he read them over again; when the blood started roaring in his ears, he clenched his fist around the shards- the fresh wave of pain grounding him, "This won't kill me."

"That's not what I asked," the vehemence in Tim's words snapped Jason out of his half-daze, electric teal eyes landing on furrowed eyebrows and a stormy gaze, "Jason, are you okay?"

Jason huffed a weak imitation of a laugh, "Is anyone in this family?"

"This isn't about them," Tim immediately countered, a line on his forehead forming. Jason hated himself for it, for making Tim look like that. This was his little brother, a kid, really, and he looked twice his age because he was forced to babysit the family basketcase.

Jason used his non-gory hand to reach into his jacket pocket and take out a cigarette. "Just tired, Tim," he tucked the unlit cigarette between his lips, lighting it up as he muttered, "That's all—just tired."

Tim's face blurred behind a cloud of smoke, for a moment erasing the unlived age from his features, "You should get more sleep."

"Hypocrite," Jason snapped back with no real heat. It was true; he should have been the one telling Tim to sleep.

The smoke cleared between them as Jason took a long, deep drag. Tim looked half apologetic as he almost whispered, "This family's specialty."

Jason scoffed, unable to stop himself from nearly shouting, "You don't need to tell me that," he pointed his cigarette to the ice-glazed stone before them, "I'm not even a Wayne, Mr. CEO Drake-Wayne." It was cruel, it was mean, but Jason couldn't force himself to care.

Tim's face contorted again, coloring up to his ears with old anger and bitterness. Some cruel part of Jason's mind cheered. Finally, the kid was going to be honest. Go on, yell at the boogeyman who hurt you, tell him to go to Hell. Really end the holiday with a bang. The kid took a long, controlled breath, and evenly asked, "Are you okay, Jason?"

Jason grimaced at the bullshit question, pressing his bloody palm into the scarlet snow as he stood, flicking his spent cigarette at Sheila, "Just dead weight, Tim,"

He turned his back to the boy shivering on the snow, "That's all I ever was."

[mxrtixnzwrld]

🩵“got me hangin from the ceilin”🩵

pairing: Jason Todd x Fem! Reader

summary: Red Hood and you have been flirty rivals. You make a mess and he’s there to clean it up and put you away, nothing more to it. At least that’s what you both think.

tropes: secret identity, rivals to lovers, superhero AU, hero x villian

warnings: might be ooc, I just got into dc lol

“Seriously darlin? Do I need to be upside down~?” Red Hood chuckled. Although you couldn’t see his face you could tell he was smirking to himself.

“Yeah, I like you better like this.” You smile as he tilts his head to the side.

“Well I don’t, too scared to look me in the eye darlin?” He said leaning closer making you gently hold his mask.

“I am right now aren’t I~?” You mutter closing the gap between you and his mask, a quick breath being taken as an inch of air was shared between the two of you.

“What’s your plan y/v/n? Tryna sweet talk me?” You quickly lift his mask to be met with his lips just stopping before you can see his eyes.

“Don’t you fuckin dare y/v/n.” He growled. You roll your eyes and looked at his face examining every painful scar scattered on his skin. You rub your hand over every small scratch and scar registering nothing but silence and the tension. Jason’s breath halted but continued as your soft thumb grazed against his rough skin like it was fragile.

“I wonder if you’re as hot as you sound Red~” you hummed subconsciously licking your lips. A bright red flushed his features getting a sweet chuckle from you. Under his mask Jason was conflicted. Risk his identity or.. stop this right now. He didn’t wanna stop. He loved the feeling of your hands and the way your voice swayed him. A warm feeling he loved always overcame his body.

“So what now darlin, gonna expose me to the world?” He growled attempting to escape his restraints. You chuckle and tilt his head back staring at his lips.

“Oh no.. I would never, just let me get one before leave.” You mutter, your left hand held his helmet so you couldn’t see his whole face while the other rubbed from behind his ear to his shoulder. Every second your hand explored his muscles if felt as if it set sparks aflame. He wanted you so bad right now.

“And what do you want before you leave?” He asked sarcastically before you finally closed the gap between the two of you. His lips stayed still for a minute before relaxing and becoming more in sync. You slowly parted leaving little room between the two of you.

“Let me down and I’ll-“ he’s stopped by the sound of the Batmobile roaring through the streets. Specifically the one they are on. You slide his mask up and back away slowly admiring your work with an almost teasing smile on your face.

“Not happening tonight but~ I enjoyed that, we should do it more often Red~” you hum with a wink before sliding out the window and to your escape.

Moments later the door busts down revealing the bat himself.

“Jason what happened-“ he asked as Jason sat silently avoiding the bats eyes.

“She uh.. she got away.” Jason huffed as Batman cuts the wire holding him up causing him to fall. Jason composes himself and stands up before fixing his mask all the way.

“We just found a lead on who she is and who she’s working for.” Batman reveals walking out of the empty apartment. Red hood silently follows listening but also thinking.

Did you mean what you said?

“So what really happened?” Dick asked leaning in the doorway of his room with Tim behind him.

“I told you what happened-“ Jason started before being interrupted by Dick.

“Not all of it. You were barely responsive during the meeting.” Dick said with a smirk.

“She didn’t do anything did she?” Tim asked. Jason held his mask and stared at it reminiscing about the way your hands explored him, cradled his face as if porcelain.

“..we kissed.” Jason muttered aggravated and blushing.

“I’m sorry what did you say~?” Dick said putting a hand to his ear. Jason sighed and asked for his door to be closed. Tim closes it as Dick’s eyebrow raises.

“We kissed.. and I liked it.” Jason sighed tossing his helmet on his bed.

“You what?! Do you know what Bruce would think-“ Tim started for Dick to laugh.

“So what, you two are an item now?” Dick crosses his arms and Jason’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought.

“No.. I just have this feeling..” Jason sighs. Is he in love with you? You two couldn’t be together but he wanted you so bad. You were nothing but temptation and you have him around your finger. What he doesn’t know is that you felt it too.

Authors notes: yall I’ve been playin Arkham Knight and although I hate the controls it got me really into DC. I do have other fanfictions coming out but I may add DC to the Masterlist 👀

©mxrtixnzwrld. do not copy, modify, translate, repost any of my work! reblogging is greatly appreciated!!

[j0eyj0rdis0n]

this is a school a/u idk if u wanna do it BUT, what if the creeps s/o got into drama with smb else and they end up fighting it out. How would the creeps react?

Oh love, when I'm a slut for my own AU that's how you know it's bad. Of course I want to do it!!

CATCHING YOU FIGHTING AT SCHOOL - CREEPS SCHOOL AU

JEFF THE KILLER:

Immediately wants to step in and take care of it for you

Who dares touch his s/o??

But when you give him that glare, he holds off. After this long with you, he knows when you mean business

But if things start to turn against your favor, he's right by your side fighting it out with you

JANE THE KILLER:

Crosses her arms and watches from the side

She's told you! Fighting isn't the answer but she also knows you do as you please

So she'll wait until it's all over to give you a piece of her mind. Expect a verrrryyyy long lecture

If you got your shit rocked, she'll patch you up. If you won, she'll give you a job well done nod but that doesn't stop her from her lecture

NINA THE KILLER:

She's the type to get a teacher/administrator

She meant well! She did! She didn't know you'd get suspended for fighting!

She'll make up rumors about the person you were fighting and of course everyone at school believes it! She knows everyone!

Doesn't know how to patch you up but she'll take you to Jack

KATE THE CHASER:

Doesn't care what you say, she's jumping in

She also doesn't care and will take the suspension for you

"What? No I started it. It's my fault."

Gives you a smile as they drag her away to the office. Worth it beating the shit out of them is all she thought

CLOCKWORK:

Similar to Kate she'll jump right in. But she doesn't bother using her fists.

She pulls a knife and immediately the enemy throws their hands up in defeat

Ain't no one gonna touch her s/o. Not when she's around to stop it

Sorry but if you fight she fights

"TICCI" TOBY:

Loses his fucking mind. It's not like he can feel pain anyway!

"DON'T YOU F-FUCKIN' TOUCH THEM!"

Makes a huge giant scene out of beating them to a pulp. Like Clocky, ain't no one gonna touch his s/o if he's around.

Honestly has to get pulled off of your attacker and probably has security called

TIM/MASKY:

As soon as he shows up, your attacker steps away

Everyone knows Tim's a powerhouse and he doesn't just wrestle, he's a damn good fighter too

Pulls you away and takes your spot in the fight if the attacker keeps fighting once he shows up

He has no problem taking their punches for you. He ends up knocking them out with one punch and walking away with you like nothing happened

BRIAN/HOODIE:

Scoops you up and runs the fuck away with you!

He doesn't like fights and he certainly doesn't need his precious s/o getting hurt

He's so fast barely anyone can catch up with y'all

He's in it for the long run after that. He'll stalk them, record filthy or embarrassing moments and post it for all the school to see. His revenge is slow but effective

EYELESS JACK:

He tries to keep his shit together when your attacker was just verbally berating you. He hates it if anyone talks to you that way

But as soon as they swing something snaps in him. No one expected a non athletic honors student to fight like that

Almost kills them with how hard he's strangling them. It takes you begging him to let go for him to finally do so.

He growls that he'll kill them if they tell anyone about this and carries you away

[donnerpartyofone]

Recent Incidents of Inappropriate IRL-Internet Intermingling:

On Instagram I posted (only half-jokingly) that LONGLEGS is just like that grade-Z Tiny Tim movie BLOOD HARVEST, and somebody with a username that's just a random-looking character string replied that they HATE ME for it. I was thinking wtf you HATE ME? That seems a little extreme from a total stranger. And then I looked and realized it's my husband's #1 most misogynistic friend who has always been visibly uncomfortable with me because I'm a girl who is also a nerd and I have had professional nerd jobs and I know more about some stuff than he does. (He wasn't trying to hide his identity, I just didn't instantly realize it was him) Now he has started regularly leaving comments that he probably thinks count as friendly, but it's always some insult about how I'm doing something wrong, or I went to a bar before the weekend, or just anything that could be an insult that I can't respond to without seeming oversensitive. I just ignore them all, which I'm sure annoys him.

LinkedIn told me that an ex-friend who I had a really bad falling out with viewed my profile. I'm sure she wasn't looking for me, LinkedIn is good at making it weirdly unavoidable to look at or "connect with" people. I was in a long relationship with someone who was (among many other horrible things) cheating on me elaborately as a spectator sport for the enjoyment of his friends/coworkers/bosses (yes, bosses), and when we finally broke up I was just so happy that I never had to even see the face of his super gross-sounding mistress. And then, even though I'm sure I unfollowed/blocked my ex everywhere, LinkedIn tried to make me connect with her, so I had to see her shitty rattyass face. At least I didn't think she was hot at all but I was so fucking pissed. But anyway, with my old friend it wasn't that we got in a fight, we were just growing apart quickly and she did something pretty bad and I reacted pretty badly and we just stopped talking without discussion. I'm not proud of how it went down, but the friendship definitely had to end. Part of me is a little afraid the LinkedIn viewing is the prelude to her trying to communicate somehow. I really don't need closure and I wouldn't want to repair the relationship, like I think she's a decent person and I wish her well but I wouldn't be at all interested in having a conversation. If she actually reached out for that and I turned her down I would feel like a huge fucking coward and it's arguable that I owe her more than that, but I don't know. I don't think there would be any point to it. I've narrowed down my range of friends a lot over the past several years and I'm pretty happy with the way things are now. Fuckin LinkedIn.

[lovingeddiediaz]

9-1-1 rant. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this season and a lot of them aren’t good. Love this show, I’ve been watching live since season 3 but yikes that finale was a mess imo definitely one of my least favorites for sure. Very underwhelming. The whole season in general was wacky.

I’ve been feeling this way for at least 2 seasons now. I feel like 911 has been trying to fit these LARGE stories that they don’t have time for or are failing to make time for in these episodes. I get that this season was shortened, but if they can’t properly flush out a story in time, they should figure something else out instead of simplifying it and cutting out so many parts that it loses the build up and the emotion and captivation.

So much happens off screen that I feel like should be SHOWN. like we didn’t get to see Chris upset in the moment when he saw the Shannon lookalike, the scene cut out after he said mom. All we see is just him in his bed telling Eddie to go away later. We didn’t see the confrontation with Marisol and Eddie and her leaving, just an offhand comment of her not coming back later. We didn’t see the phone call that had Buck rushing over. We didnt get to see Eddie at his house alone after Chris leaves, just him leaving with his grandparents and boom, cut scene. We didn’t get to see hen or Chim at Bobby’s bedside.

We don’t get to see the aftermath of ANYTHING. The show keeps cutting the scenes just short and it has been pissing me off so much. They’re missing out on so much depth bc they’re doing too goddamn much at once and too quick.

All action, no build up or payoff. Just one thing after another. You don’t even have time to let your emotions settle and follow the characters bc it’s over so soon. You don’t get to worry and grieve alongside the characters. Bobby almost died and then boom he’s fine again like nothing happened. Like what am I supposed to be emotional over? He almost died in the desert just a couple episodes before that and then he was fine, no mention of it again.

Idk it seems like this show has been doing a lot of telling instead of showing when it comes to what are supposed to be emotionally charged scenes, like Buck saying how he was worried he was gonna lose Bobby but we didn’t really see that. All we got was a teary eye when Buck told Eddie he was in the hospital. Didn’t get to see the team actually save bathena in the beginning, so seeing them get the medals held no weight, like cool we’re told they saved them but we didn’t see shit. We didn’t get to see any of the madney wedding buildup like picking flower arrangements and a venue and dress/tuxedo shopping or anything like that, just assume off screen obviously XD

Buck’s sexuality arc being reduced to background noise also sucks. He kissed a man and then they said ok cool good enough moving on now. Not even bothering to deepen/develop his relationship with Tommy (are they even together or are they still going on dates?? No fuckin clue lmao), instead of a meaningful conversation between them in the finale it’s turned into a sexual joke like come ON, besides the first kiss and the second kiss that Buck initiates, their scenes are meaningless imo and that’s sad bc I was so excited for this storyline in the beginning but again, there’s nothing there. No substance.

And don’t even get me started on henren’s storyline. How many times are they gonna recycle the ‘person gets in the way of henren expanding their family’ bullshit before they finally get creative and think of something new? What is that, 3 times now? It’s just annoying at this point lmao I’m over it.

Why is Tim so against happy storylines? I know he said something along the lines of people wouldn’t watch if the characters were happy, but I think that’s bullshit. If you can’t captivate an audience with positive stories then I think you have a skill issue. Big drama and angst doesn’t equal good story telling and writing. Couldn’t even give madney a nice wedding like wtf.

Idk. I hope next season is thought out better.

[to-the-stars8]

Learning to Love Slowly

Jason Todd x Reader All Chapters AO3

55- Circus Acts and Stitches

You clapped when Dick landed on his feet effortlessly, showing you that even though he was taken out of the circus there was no taking the circus out of him. Jason threw a sly comment across the Batcave about how his tricks were what tipped Tim off, and that, at the end of the day, would probably be the source of uncovering all their identities. Dick didn’t pay any attention to him, instead going back onto the uneven bars, while you turned back to Jason. 

He was sitting in the med bay with Bruce stitching up a cut he had gotten on his arm while sparring with Damian—Jason wasn’t ashamed of getting cut by his younger brother, and even complimented Damian’s growth after he had told him off. 

“How’s he doin’, Mr. Wayne,” You asked, getting up from your spot to wander over. 

Bruce chuckled, “He’ll live.” He turned to his youngest son who was sitting nearby cleaning his blade. “Any deeper, though, Damian, and you would have cut an artery. You need to be more careful when sparring.”

“You can’t blame me for his lack of speed,” The little boy said nonchalantly. “The bigger ones move slower.” 

“You better watch that fuckin' mouth—” Jason started to say before Bruce gave him a pointed look. 

You finally managed to reach Jason before he could get up to return the favor when Damian stuck his tongue out tauntingly, pressing a kiss to his temple to calm him. “Let’s see the damage.” 

Peering over, you could see a long cut on Jason’s arm that would no doubt turn into a scar, no matter how well Bruce could stitch up an arm. The sight made your stomach churn, but you made sure to not let Jason know by smiling up at him.

Your eyes then flickered over to Damian. It was a bit obvious to you that he felt bad about hurting his brother and that he was trying to cover up just how much he cared. Damian was sitting too close for someone who supposedly was proud of his win and his eyes kept looking at Jason’s arm with flashes of guilt, though his face was motionless as he kept his facade of indifference. 

“You got ‘em pretty good, Dami,” You said. 

Damian only nonchalantly said, “Yeah.”

Jason’s eyes looked to you before Damian. He tried to jokingly say, “When I brush up on my stealth, kid, watch your ass.” 

“Jay…” Bruce said, tone thick with a readied reprimand, as he finished up on his son's arm. 

When Jason was all wrapped up and looking as he did before sparring, Damian seemed to relax a little. You reached over and ruffled his hair, whispering that it was okay. All the while, Bruce told Jason the same tale of how to take care of his wound, it sounding more like another lecture than advice. 

“Fuck, it’s hot as hell down here,” He said suddenly, wanting to just stop his endless talking. “Wanna go for ice cream, babe?”

“I wanna go for ice cream,” Dick said as he swung upside-down from one of the bars.  

Jason opened his mouth before closing it again, taking a second to think about what he wanted to say before finally coming out with it. “As long as you’re not gonna do any circus acts, you can come.”

The amount of joy and surprise on Dick’s face told you that it must have been the first time in a while that Jason had willingly let him accompany him anywhere. When he turned to Damian and invited him, the look reflected Dick’s. Surprise, though with a hint of underlying suspicion that sparkled in his green eyes. 

Cooly, he responded, “You’re not planning on some sort of retaliation, hm? This has to be a trick.”

You looked up at Jason, “You better not be.”

“No! No. I just want some fucking ice cream, I swear on my own grave,” He said, mumbling an apology afterward to Bruce who grimaced. 

Damian finally relented, sliding off his chair after putting his sword to the side, though not without a threat that if it was a trick the cut would be worse than before. Jason looked to you for strength before thinning his lips to keep an insult from passing through them. That little boy had a thing for testing every nerve. It gave him pause for a moment, wondering if he had been the same way as Robin.

Dick, overjoyed, hopped off the bars with an extravagant flip. Clapping again, you went over to him to ask him about it, leaving Jason with Bruce and Damian. 

Jay sighed before looking down at his younger brother. “Damian, you don’t have to worry about hurting me. There are no hard feelings. If there were, I’d let you know. And, I...I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier, too. I’m too grown to be talking to you like that.”

Jason surprised himself with his apology and consolation toward his younger brother. It left him to wonder if what he had said to Damian was your influence or something he wished had been said to him when he was younger.

Damian was quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond before finally mumbling something about how he wasn’t worried about Jason being hurt and that his words had little effect on him. Still, his words must have had some effect since his little brother was now sticking around a little closer with more comfort. 

“Are you coming, too,” Jay asked Bruce. 

As quick as Catwoman’s whip, he turned around, “Me?” 

“I mean, who else? You should know that if you come you’re paying, so…” Jason looked down, expecting Bruce to decline with some poor excuse. Instead, the words that hit Jason’s ears sounded so different.

No, not different, he quickly decided, familiar. 

Bruce sounded like Dad again. “I think we can squeeze it into the budget. Let me get my keys and wallet.”

Jason nodded, watching his father walk away before looking over to see Dick attempting to get you to grab onto the uneven bars, to which he was threatened with no ice cream if he continued. Dick pulled away, mumbling about how his little brother was no fun, as you hopped away talking about how excited you were for ice cream. Damian was quick to show off his skills of flips and tricks, all of them Dick’s old moves, which impressed you immensely. 

Jason found himself liking the way you were immersing yourself into his family—better yet, into this life. You acted as if all of this was normal, taking it all with the love and acceptance you could muster. He realized that you were unintentionally reminding him that this life wasn’t always black and blue bruises with bloody cuts. It was family—love.  

[harpersdragons]

Race against the clock/panic attack

Jason and Tim are trapped in a cave in, and jason nearly loses control of his pit rage.

This serves as your warning that I have not actually read the comics, so take that as you will.

Panic attack, coping by distraction, claustrophobia (not directly mentioned, but that’s the whole cause of this thing)

Jason shoulda known accepting this mission was a bad idea.

First of all, he’s paired with Tim, who is a nuisance on a good day and a full on trigger on a bad day. And today is not one of his good days.

Second of all, the mission involved staking out a warehouse that was possibly rigged to blow up.

Who thought it was a good idea for him to be assigned to this mission?

“See anything yet?” Tim breaks the silence.

“No. I say we just go in, make sure it’s clear, and dip. What’s the point of watching an empty warehouse?”

“What’s the point of rigging an empty warehouse to blow up? Maybe it’s not so empty.”

“I’m sure we can take whoever’s in there. Let’s just go.”

“Batman—”

“I don’t give a fuck what Batman thinks! I’m going in with or without you.” Jason whisper-yells back. “You comin’ or not, Pretender?” Jason grapples off the roof without waiting on a response, landing near a skylight in the warehouse.

Tim lands silently next to him, and when Jason looks at him in shock, grumbles, “Well someone’s got to make sure you don’t meet your second untimely death.”

Jason smirks under his helmet and lifts the pane of the window.

“Well what are you waiting for?” He gestures for Tim to go ahead of him.

The warehouse appears to be deserted, the only things occupying space are massive crates spread throughout.

“See, Red? No one’s even here.”

“Something’s wrong…” Tim spins, checking the room. “This isn’t right.”

“Whatever, let’s just clear it and get goin’. I’ve got better shit to do than sit on an empty warehouse.” He slings the crowbar off his back and pries open one of the crates. “Look, it’s not even a bomb.”

The sheer amount of drugs in the crate is concerning in a different way, but hey. It’s Gotham, whatcha gonna do?

“There’s still about thirty other crates a bomb could be in.”

There were no bombs in any of the crates, and Jason would really like to go home now.

“You seriously just made me check all of them? Why are we even here? We coulda left hours ago.”

“I told you, Batman got intel about a bomb and this specific warehouse.”

“Well Batman’s fuckin’ wrong! The only thing in this fuckin’ warehouse is a shit ton of drugs.”

“Something doesn’t feel right,”

“So you keep saying. Stick around if you like, but I’m leaving.”

Just as Jason turns to leave, one of the crates on the opposite explodes.

“You were saying?” Tim sasses.

“Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up and let’s get out of here before any of the others detonate.”

Tim slams into him, pinning him to the ground as the next bomb detonates much closer to them.

“What the fuck!”

“Stay down, I mean it, Hood.”

“I’m not stayin’ in a warehouse with bunch’a bombs.”

“Bombs you didn’t even think were here five seconds ago?”

“You’re welcome to stay here,” Jason pushes himself up and starts jogging to the nearest exit, only for Tim to shove him again.

One of the support beams crumbles, crashing to the ground next to them. One of the falling pieces strikes Tim—where Jason would have been standing—and knocks him off to the side. Just as Jason tries to grab him and yank him out of the building, the rest of the bombs detonate together, and the ceiling collapses around them.

They happened to be standing under the one support beam still standing (lucky them?), so they weren’t trapped under concrete, but they were blocked in.

“God fucking dammit!” Jason growls. Tim chuckles next to him, and Jason nudges him with an elbow. “What the fuck do you think is funny?”

“We’re fine, chill. None of the concrete is close enough to cause an issue.”

It’s too dark, too dusty.

Jason can practically feel the walls pressing in, his breaths coming in sharp gasps.

He paces, counting the strides in his head from one end to the other.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Turn

Five paces, 5 steps.

“Hood, we’re fine. The rest of the bats are one their way.” Tim’s voice is distorted, like he’s talking from under water.

Green takes over the edges of his vision, Jason shakes his head.

Not here.

He can’t let it take over here, he can’t let himself hurt Tim, not again.

“Hood!”

“Just…just shut up, alrigh’?” His voice is more of growl than he means for it to come out, but it’s a little hard to control his tone when he’s so close to losing it.

Jason loses track of how much time he’s been pacing, how long they’ve been trapped.

The silence is deafening, the only noises being his harsh breathing, the posing of his heart, and the (possibly imagined) groaning of the concrete as it settles.

He tugs at his helmet, trying to get it off.

Tim is suddenly in front of him, pulling at his arms.

Jason tosses him off, barely hearing the grunt his brother lets out when he hits the concrete across from them.

He finally gets his helmet off and chucks it in the same direction as Tim, burying his hands in his hair.

“Jay, you need to breathe.”

”Shut the fuck up!”

smoke, dust, blinding pain

No

No

He’s not in Ethiopia.

He’s in Gotham, with Tim, not with Joker.

Batman is coming this time, or at least someone is. He’ll make it out.

It’s still too quiet.

”Fine! Fine, start talking. Distract me.”

“Wanna sit down first? You’re only working yourself with all your pacing.”

”Tim. Either start talking, or I’m gonna fuckin’ lose it.”

”Thought you wanted me to shut up?”

”Not the fuckin’ time, man!”

Tim snorts. “Fine. You watch the race last week?”

”That’s what you’re goin’ with?”

”You wanted me to talk! I assume you don’t want me to talk about work, so dunno what else you want me to talk about.”

This time it’s Jason’s turn to snort. “Fair. Yeah, I watched the race. FIA is fuckin’ bullshit.”

”Yeah that whole swearing ban? Control freaks. Anyway, it also sucks that it was Ricciardo’s last race and they didn’t even properly inform us. That man has been with Red Bull for fuckin’ forever, and the most he gets is a post a week after the race?”

Jaosn tugs his hair again, heart still pounding uncomfortably in his chest, but the green is starting to recede slightly. ”Mm, same thing happened with Sargeant, right?”

”Yep. Also it’s wild that there’s been so much happening this season, feels like so long ago when Verstappen was dominating. Plus we’ve got one rookie scoring points for two separate teams, two drivers being fired mid-season, 4 rookies debuting in F1—I think anyway—plus the four new drivers next season. And Sainz moving to Williams is fucking crazy. He deserves better.”

Jason finally calms enough to settle near Tim and stop pacing.

”Feeling better?”

”Think so.”

”B will be here soon.”

”Hm.” Jason twines his hands together, fidgeting restlessly.

”Here.”

He glances over, and Tim’s extending a knife towards him, hilt first.

”Are you seriously giving me—who was on the edge of a pit episode not even two minutes ago—a knife to fidget with?”

Tim shrugs. “Don’t stab me and we’re good.”

”Your standards are so low.”

”You’re the one that keeps stabbing me.”

”So maybe don’t give me knives!”

”It worked didn’t it?”

”Tim—“

”RR, Hood, you good in there?” Batman’s muffled voice drifts through the layers of concrete.

They both call back the affirmative, and Tim stands up.

It doesn’t take long before there’s an opening cleared big enough for them to squeeze out of.

“Thanks for the save, Old Man. I’m out of here.” Jason attempts to leave as quickly as possible.

Dick grabs his arm before he gets far. “Nope. Back to the cave, Little Wing.”

“What the fuck for? No one’s even injured.”

”Hood, cave.”

Jason glares at Bruce, but ultimately complies. Whatever will get him back to this safe house the fastest, preferably without fighting his way out.

“Whatever.” He stalks off to the batmobile.

Back at the cave, Bruce performs a thorough medical exam on both of them before clearing them to sleep, with the stipulation they had to stay in the manor.

“Goodnight, Jason. I’m glad you’re safe.” Bruce calls before heading to his room, pulling Jason in for a one armed hug.

Jason blinks, shocked, and by the time he can think of a response, Bruce has disappeared into his bedroom.

Oh well. There’s always tomorrow.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 24 “Windy Mountain”[Episode List]

Another summer, another camping trip for our heroes… and an even smaller tent than last time. On the mountain, the sounds of nature finally meet their match as Dave’s farts reach new heights in terms of loudness and power.

POV: Tim

Windy Mountain “Rise and shine, bro!”

I was woken up by a sudden thunder, a thunder which was accompanied by a peculiar scent. Considering how I could see a clear blue sky outside (somebody opened the window in my room), as my eyes adjusted to the light I recognised Dave’s ass in a pair of white basketball shorts hovering over me, effortlessly erupting a powerful morning blast directly on my face.

I probably woke up halfway through the rip, which was already around 10 seconds long. A short morning fart, for my friend’s high standards. The stench hit me and triggered my flight or fight response, effectively waking me up more efficiently than any alarm clock could. I pushed my friend’s ass away (as he kept farting), trying to remember what year it was.

“Alright, alright. I’m awake!”

Dave turned around and greeted me with a smile. 

“Come on, we’re right on schedule.” he stated.

“Should I thank you or your ass?”

Dave simply looked up, making a funny facial expression, and ripped a quick loud one.

“Yes.” he simply replied, and left the room.

Those were natural, not even on command, but honestly who could tell the difference? Dave always had a fart ready, like you could ask him out of the blue to rip one and he’d probably be more than happy to go beyond your wildest expectations. One of his many talents: the incredible farts are like the cherry on top of this wonderful friend I’m lucky to have, a cherry that pleases my embarrassing and disgusting kink, a kink that, for some reason, my bud is completely okay with, getting some good immature laughs every time he teases me.

Like last year, the four of us (the other two being Greg and Adam) decided to get in touch with nature and go camping for a couple of days, like the hypocrite city slickers that we are. However, we’re pretty good at planning stuff like this, making sure it won’t interfere with our respective jobs and whatnot. 

As Dave told me earlier, we were indeed right on schedule: it wasn’t even 6:00 AM and he was ready, a role-reversal compared to the last time we went camping, as I’m usually the one who hates being late. A quick shower, some casual clothes and I too was ready, just a shirt and pair of black shorts, whereas Dave was sporing a grey t-shirt and his signature, “summer style” camo cargo shorts which, given the context, immediately triggered my kinky ass as I just remembered how my friend mercilessly blasted me in our tent last year while wearing those.

I hated… that I fuckin’ loved it.

While farting wasn’t by far our main topic of discussion (believe it or not), I like to think that Dave too remembers… because he’s just a nice mixture of “the best bro you could ever ask for” and “your worst bully”. Or, much more realistically, he just doesn’t remember because while he does find the act of teasing me utterly hilarious, it’s not like our lives revolve around his farts.

Unlike last year we were actually much more independent as our other two buds travelled to our destination on their own, a relatively colder place where we could avoid this summer’s high temperatures, somewhere on a mountain not far from here. We’re hiking to some interesting sights, the most important being a big, lesser known waterfall located at higher altitudes and deeper into the forest. 

We packed our stuff and as the Sun was setting we got into the car, Dave being the designated driver. My (much more important) role was choosing the music for the trip and sometimes checking the map. A true duo of rally drivers.

During the trip, me and my bro chatted about some random stuff and about one hour flew by. No traffic, no road works or anything, just a long but peaceful trip.

“Oh by the way.” Dave suddenly said, changing the subject. “When Dana and I went camping last year…” 

He seemed embarrassed but couldn’t help but laugh. Knowing him, that was the kind of laughter he’d do whenever he did something stupid.

“Yes?” I asked, being annoyingly inquisitive on purpose.

“We broke your tent.” he simply said.

“Oh.” I replied, not caring that much.

Yes, after our trip last year, I let Dave and Dana bring my tent on their own trip. I totally forgot about it and it was a very cheap product anyway. Plus, I saw Dave putting a folded up tent into the trunk earlier this morning, so it’s not like we were gonna sleep with the bugs tonight.

“It was an accident, I’m sorry.” he said.

“You’re the worst person I ever met.” I replied, the sarcasm being almost tangible.

“I totally forgot about it.” 

“Me too actually.” I admitted. “How did you break it? I deserve to know.” I asked, acting like I wanted to know how my grandpa died.

“Crazy sex obviously.” my friend said, with a smirk. 

I stared back at him until he told me truth.

“Ok… I accidentally hit it while going in reverse.”

“How did it even happen?!” I yelled, amused. “Why was the car there in the first place?!”

“Girls, you know… she didn’t want to walk back to the car.”

I stared back at him again.

“We had beers in the trunk.” 

“Unbelievable. Truly made for each other.”

We both had a good laugh at their laziness, and I made sure Dave knew it was fine: he bought a new tent after all, so we’re good.

“The new tent is a bit smaller though… not that you mind, right?” he said, and winked at me.

“Oh yeah, show me the infamous crazy sex you’ve been talking about.” I played along.

“Well that, obviously.” he joked. “But I was thinking more of… you know…”

He leaned a bit while driving and, as much as he could, pointed his camo-clad ass towards me; the fart was, well, one of his average ones, long, loud and proud, the sound partially muffled by the seat and car’s own noises, but I could still hear it clearly. A firm, strong, 7 seconds display of cocky manliness from my bro, something I pretend to be used to but for a number of reasons keeps surprising me somehow.

The smell hit me but the cars’ windows being open made it bearable.

Before I could stutter something, he sat back normally and resumed talking.

“Just like last year, you know.” he laughed.

He actually remembers it. The fact that he does gives me a mix of feelings. I remained silent, trying to focus on the road ahead, which he noticed.

“Aw come on, don’t act like you hate it, you hypocrite.” he playfully said, patting my shoulder. “You know you can relax when I’m around, right?” he then asked, a bit more seriously, keeping his right hand on my shoulder.

It took me a bit to answer that simple question, Dave being so open-minded he almost leaves me speechless.

“Yeah I know man. Thanks.” 

“Good.” he said, again patting my shoulder.

This man’s patience is infinite. 

And just like that, we resumed talking about the usual stuff, as if my kink never existed. I feel like Dave accepted my fetish more than I ever did with myself.

——

A few hours later we reached our destination, at around 10:00 AM, the mountains towering over us being so high we could see the peaks covered in glaciers. However, the town where we left the car was not at high altitudes, so while the weather wasn’t as hot as back home, you could still tell it was summer, a particularly hot one nonetheless, as some of the locals told us. From the small town we then begun our hiking towards a place called “Windy Mountain”, making sure our phones still got signal so we could keep our other two buds posted on our location.

As we got higher and higher, the temperatures got a bit lower, but still pleasing, despite our heavy backpacks.

“Call me hypocrite.” I said.

“I already did a few hours ago I believe.” Dave quickly replied.

“I’m just saying… I don’t blame you for parking the car next to the tent, when you were with Dana.”

“Ahah what, feeling tired already?” he mockingly said, tired.

“I could do this all day bro.” I boasted, lying.

“Well no worries, Greg and Adam set the camp right next to that river.”

Dave pointed to a location not really far from us, a bit more downhill than where we were, and I could indeed spot two people in the distance, which I assumed were our buds waiting for us. The view as a whole was also really nice, with the mountain overlooking the entire scene.

“You think they can hear us?” I asked.

“Only way to find out.”

My friend shouted our buds’ names, his voice echoing in the entire valley, but the two people didn’t seem to have any reaction. It was my turn to shout, but once again, nothing.

“Yeah it’s them.” Dave said. “I’d recognize Greg’ piss-yellow shirt anywhere.” he pointed out, as I too noticed that small yellow spot by the river.

“It’s weird they couldn’t hear us.” 

“Let’s see if they can hear this then.”

Dave simply stood where it was, which was surprising considering the sheer amount of gas he started ejecting from his ass. The fart almost fake-sounding, but it was loud and powerful, my friend effortlessly showing off his skills, easily surpassing any natural sound around us. The fart truly echoed everywhere, and as the 9 seconds blast finished, I could still hear it propagating all over the valley. An impressive, almost terrifying display of what my friend is capable of.

Funnily enough, the guy in the piss shirt did seem to turn around; he then waved at us.

“Nice.” I said. “You probably scared the shit out of every animal in the valley, but nice.”

“It’s called ‘asserting dominance’, Timothy.” Dave said, acting all serious. “The valley now knows who’s in charge.”

“Wow I feel so safe now.” I said, letting my sarcasm do the talking… while trying to ignore my boner.

——

The moment we arrived, Greg and Adam fetched us beers and something to eat, just some snacks, as it was too early to set up a barbecue anyway. We started setting up our camp like we did last time: our two tents being on the opposite sides, facing each other, with a fire pit in the middle, not too close, not too far away. 

“Isn’t that tent a bit too small for you two?” Greg noted, while rummaging through the snacks.

“We don’t need a bigger tent to compensate you know.” I replied, very maturely.

“Also, me and Tim like to snuggle in those cold summer nights.” Dave added, hugging me from behind. “Right, honey?”

I shook him off. “Oh yeah…” I played along. “Whisper me something soft and sweet, my stallion!”

What my ear received however was anything but a gentle whisper. Dave was really enjoying the beer and he decided to let me (and everyone) know by belching directly into my skull, the scent of yeast and water hitting my nostrils. My bro wants to make sure he can destroy me from both ends, if you know what I mean.

“Serves you right.” Greg snickered.

Like a Terminator, Dave changed his target and let me go, power-walking towards our snickering friend. Before Greg could beg for mercy, he grabbed his head and burped straight onto his face, earning mature laughters from me and Adam.

“The good news is that you’re probably scaring bears off.” Adam commented. 

“He’s ‘asserting dominance’” I explained, making finger quotes.

“He’s the true alpha.” Adam added, sarcastically.

“He’s making me puke.” Greg managed to say, just as Dave’s belch ended.

Once this very mature display of manliness was over, my bro joined us in setting up the camp, with his classic smirk drawn on his face, pretty proud of making Greg almost lose it.

——

After setting up the camp we ate something, nothing too complicated, just some sandwiches and fresh water, because in the afternoon we planned to go hiking; the destination was this beautiful waterfall located deeper into the woods and at a higher altitude, a true sight to behold. Due to this however, the climate there was colder, and the temperatures started to lower even in the valley (where our camp was) due to the Sun hiding behind one of the tall mountains looming over us.

In our tent I was setting some things up before the hike, like the GPS on my phone, and pulling some things out of my backpack to avoid bringing something needlessly heavy with me. My back was facing the tent’s entrance but I could feel someone coming inside.

“Everything’s alright?” Dave asked. 

For all the immature, sometimes gross pranks he plays on us (…you know what I mean), Dave was actually the smartest around here, and the one we trusted the most when it came to organizing trips like these. Just because he acts silly, it doesn’t man he’s stupid.

“Yeah man. All set.” I said. “If we die, they’re gonna find our corpses in no time.” I joked.

“That’s the spirit!” my friend cheered.

As the Dave got into the tent, I realized how smaller than the last one was indeed. The fact that my bro was taller and generally “bigger” than me, body-wise, didn’t help. There was room to breathe, lay down and all that stuff, but a bigger tent would have definitely been better. 

My bro got on all fours to look for some of his own stuff and, due to the small size of the tent, accidentally brushed his camo-clad ass all over me more than once. This stuff can happen to everyone, so I just ignored it, though it was hard not to think of what that same ass is capable of, considering the person who belongs to.

“Looking for something?” I asked, turning to him, though my head was basically talking to his ass.

“Yeah, my rain jacket.” he said, while rummaging through his own backpack.

“Oh right, the waterfall.” I remembered. I too had a rain jacket after all.

“Nevermind, found it.” he told me, giving me an OK I sign.

I kept checking my stuff, his camo-clad ass still literally next to me. I noticed Dave’s hand now patting his own butt, like we all do when we can’t find our phones in our back-pockets.

“What are you looking for now?” I asked, without even turning to his ass, even though my boner really wanted me to take a closer look.

Dave didn’t answer, though I felt his hand pat my shoulder, then my hair.

“Your head, actually.” he said, trying not to laugh.

He quickly pulled me and planted my entire face into his ass, holding it still. As my nose touched the warm fabric of his cargo pants, I felt his buttcheeks relax and, surprise to no one, a fart came out, a loud blast that made my teeth shake for how strong and loud it was. The gas went down my nostrils and eyes, making me choke, but Dave’s firm grip on my head was merciless. As my bro kept his position on all four, he raised one of his legs a bit, easing the blast out, actually making him get even louder. He finally let me head go as he did this, but my kinky-self didn’t move at all, enjoying the blast until it was over.

And indeed it was over, at around 11 seconds, a fart fueled by beer and snacks. I heard my friend laugh as he gently pushed me away using his own ass. The turned around, with his usual smirk.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said. 

I didn’t say anything, turning my attention to my backpack again. Despite Dave’s best (worst?) efforts, I was always embarrassed by this. My bro probably noticed this and stopped the teasing, getting ready himself for the hike.

As I mentioned, the temperatures were getting lower, so Dave changed clothes accordingly: he was now wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt and the aforementioned rain jacket.

“Piss yellow? How the tables have turned.” I mocked him, commenting the color of the jacket.

“It’s ochre, you swine.” he said.

——

We were hiking in single file, with me being the last, in the woods, the temperatures getting lower; the mood was great however, and we occasionally improvised songs from a certain epic fantasy as we felt like we were marching towards a dark volcano or a dragon-infested mountain. The landscapes certainly helped the illusion of an epic tale: it was just a damn beautiful place; despite the Sun being still obscured by the mountains, we could still it was a picture perfect day, weather-wise: we couldn’t have chosen a better day to go camping and hiking.

My gay and kinky ass kept distracting me from truly appreciating the beauty of nature, as Dave was the one walking in front of me. Regardless of my fetish, Dave was a great-looking guy, so I couldn’t help but to stare at him for a few seconds whenever I could. My eyes would obviously land on his jeans-clad ass more than once, which were a bit loose but also wrapped nicely around his powerful butt as he walked. Disgustingly enough, I wished he could fart on me while wearing those, but I won’t deny I’d love to ask, but I will never do it, I’d feel like I’m crossing some boundaries I’m not supposed to cross, because at the end of the day Dave is straight.

I can at least enjoy the view… and considering that the human body is, well, not artificial, you can technically say I’m still enjoying the scenery nature had to offer.

——

The hype paid off: the waterfall, the main reason we came up here in the first place, was absolutely incredible. We were speechless, so stunned we didn’t even think to take a picture of it the moment we got there. We kept walking, following a route that would get us right in front of it, millions of small droplets of water already dampening our faces and clothes. This never-ending wall of water going down the mountain was a beast, and a loud one truth to be told: we had to yell because we couldn’t hear anything unless we stood really close to each other.

“I’m speechless.” I yelled everyone.

“What?!” everyone replied.

“I said that I’m speechless!” 

“Then why are you talking?!” Greg screamed back.

We didn’t have anything else to say as we stood in front of that wonderful display of nature, letting the water do all the talk. Finally we decided to become a boomer’s worst nightmare and pulled our phones out, taking pictures, posting stories and selfies. I saw Dave making a short video-call with Dana, even though the two could barely hear each other (but knowing them, that was the entire joke) while the other three of us settled for posting our pics on social medias.

It was still daytime (around 5:00 PM) but after about 20 minutes admiring the scenery, we decided it was time to hike back to the camp. 

Also, we were starving.

“You two want to make out or what?” Adam yelled, noticing me and Dave staying behind.

I explained (screaming like a demon) that Dave needed to send a couple more pics to Dana, but the phone’s signal was unstable, so I was waiting for him to not leave him alone there.

Adam gestured a “whatever” and he and Greg disappeared in the woods around the waterfall. 

After a couple more minutes, which I spent sitting down admiring that cathedral of nature, Dave put his phone in the backpack and sat next to me, at first in silence.

“I gotta take Dana to this place.” he thought out loud.

We kept sitting there, the loudness of the water rushing down the only thing we could hear despite ourselves. I decided to ruin the moment by reaching for something in my backpack.

“Beer?” I said, handing a can of beer to my bro.

“Always.” he replied.

We had a quick toast and enjoyed the view a bit more.

“Man that’s loud.” I commented, the waterfall’s noise starting to piercing my ear-drums.

Dave slowly turned to me, sporting an exaggerated smirk.

“Challenge accepted.” 

I guess it was his turn to ruin the moment.

He quickly stood up, now towering next to me, and I could once again admire that beautiful denim ass. He wasn’t gonna fart in my face, not there at least, but for some reason he just wanted to do it. It wasn’t because of me, I’m pretty sure: the guy just enjoys showing off.

I didn’t stand up, and just stared at Dave… waiting, until he turned his head down to me with a cheesy smirk.

“You can’t hear it?” he yelled.

I instinctively stared at his ass and focuses. I could barely hear it: it was one of his well-known farts, loud and proud, but he still couldn’t beat the waterfall.

Trying to hide my massive boner, I simply gestured my ear, as to say that I couldn’t hear it. My friend just laughed and I could see his eyes narrowing, as if he was forcing more gas out.

And truth to be told, I could hear the fart getting louder, still not as loud as the waterfall obviously, but damn that must have been incredible to hear in all of its glory.

Dave kept standing still, relaxing his ass muscles and pushing what was probably one of his longest and loudest farts out. I could notice the droplets coming from the waterfall being blown farther away once they got close to his denim ass, a sign of powerful that blast was.

Now I could hear it properly, which my friend noticed, as he once again stared down at me sporting a wide, silly smile, immaturely proud of his fart. Really putting the “ass” in the whole “asserting dominance”-thing he had going one since we got here.

I thought I was ruining the moment with that beer, but Dave is better at everything I guess.

The hardest thing (besides my penis) was fighting the urge to simply plant my face into that ass, so I could properly enjoy that massive display of farting-talent; I couldn’t complain however, since Dave is basically a terribly wonderful enabler for my fart kink.

Now I couldn’t hear the waterfall anymore, only the fart; that fact that I was right next to the source of the blast certainly helped, but that was impressive either way. Dave was visibly exhausted: that was too much even for him (and, probably, me), so he sat down next to me again, sighing in relief, and the fart ended. How long did that last anyway? Not only it was loud, it was extremely lengthy. If I had to guess, that was probably around 60 seconds! 

I tried to focus again on the waterfall, while Dave proposed another toast.

“To us.” he said, sounding as corny as you think.

“Really?” I replied, skeptical.

Dave simply laughed in response.

“You’re a disgusting weirdo, Tim.” he said, smiling, but those words didn’t hurt me at all, because I knew he wouldn’t say things like that to hurt me. “But takes one to know one.”

“Wait.” I was confused. “What does that mean?” 

“Don’t get any ideas now.” he quickly stated. “I just wanted to remind you how weird all of this is.” he took a sip of his beer. “How hilariously weird.” he laughed.

Dave, a straight guy, a good friend. Yes, I was the weirdo of the duo, but he doing what he does for me can be just as weird and the fact that he just doesn’t care only proves even more what a great bro he is, being ridiculously open-minded about all this stuff.

“You didn’t have to, you know?” I told him.

“Teasing you is hilarious.” he admitted. “Thanks for the laughs.” he patted my back.

I simply decided to remain silent, probably the best decision, and let the waterfall once again do all the talk, as the millions of droplets of water made our clothes soaking wet. Dave asserted his dominance, but the waterfall definitely had the last word.

——

Back to the camp, we quickly put some sausages with “Adam’s special sauce” on the barbecue (I’ll save you the mandatory jokes) and had a nice dinner all the 4 of us together, planning on what we were gonna do the next day; probably something simpler, not deep in the woods: the town were we left the car had a couple of good restaurants so like the bunch of city slickers we are, we decided to hang out there the next morning.

It was a windy night, but it wasn’t that cold outside, so both me and Dave lay down in our tent, next to each other, without sleeping bags. A small lantern lit the inside of the tent with a warm light. My friend was lying on his stomach, still wearing the long-sleeved shirt and the jeans from before, which I sadly immediately noticed. 

Dave’s face was even more lit because of his phone inches from his nose, which he was using to message Dana, as the continuous tapping and notifications sounds confirmed. Honestly, that was kind of annoying.

“Bro…” I whispered. “Can you… please, you know?” I said, hoping to sound just as annoying.

“Mh?” Dave replied, distracted by all the messaging.

“Please?” I repeated.

Dave smiled and resumed the noisy tapping. “Yeah sure, give me a minute.” 

“Nice.” I thanked him.

I simply laid down, staring at what can we consider the “ceiling” of our tent. That was a good day, we should actually do it more often.

“Alright.” Dave put his phone down, after indeed a minute passed. 

However, he kept moving for some reason. He laid down on his back and turned his entire body so his legs would be next to my head. But then, he cocked his denim legs up and made those go over my head, now fully showing off his denim ass right next to my face, which looked like a wall of jeans given how loose (almost sagging) it was.

“Dude, what the fuck?!” I almost yelled.

“Huh?” Dave said. All I could see was his denim ass, but I could tell he was confused.

“What the Hell?” I kept asking.

“Bro. You literally asked for it.” he explained.

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did!” he insisted, this time laughing a bit.

That felt surreal.

Then I realized.

“I was… I was talking about all the tapping, dude! If you could put that damn phone on mute!”

We remained silent for a couple of long seconds, then Dave broke the silence by laughing like an idiot.

“Sorry bro, I totally thought you finally had the guts to just ask for it ahah.”

“I would never!”

We kept talking like that, with my head inches from his ass, Dave just casually lying down like that as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well…” my bro finally said. “Do you want me to fart or not?” he whispered, as we both remembered that Greg and Adam’s tent wasn’t far from us, even though they were already asleep.

The way he just casually asked got me massively aroused already. How in the world I manage to have a friend like him is beyond me, beyond my wildest dreams.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.” he then said.

Indeed, we were in the middle of nowhere.

“Okay…” I finally found the courage to speak. “But only if you want to.”

Dave laughed.

“I don’t want to fart in your face, bro.” he said, reaching for my head, pulling it even closer to his denim ass. “I want to fuckin’ end it. Ready?”

That was a rhetorical question. The blast that greeted me was massive, my face shaking due to the power of that fart. Whatever sauce Adam put on those sausages really messed with my friend’s stomach, which was already infamously powerful as well all know. The stench was unbearable and the entire tent shook because of the wind Dave was shooting out of his ass.

The natural blast kept going for about 12 more seconds, with my friend letting my head go halfway through the rip, knowing that I wasn’t going anywhere. At around the 16th second mark, the fart finally ended, leaving an invisible gas cloud engulfing the tent. The smell hit my bro as well, but he was basically immune at his own poisonous attacks.

Without moving his ass, he slightly got up, staring down at me from beyond that wall of jeans, with a silly smirk, checking for my reaction, which was awkward and speechless as usual, something that he’d always find amusing.

“Are you ok there, Tim?” we heard Greg yell from his tent.

Both of us laughed like idiots this time. “It’s all good!” Dave yelled. 

Maintaining eye-contact with me, with his ass still inches from my face, he started to suck air in. The facial expressions he made were just as hot as the sounds he was producing from his ass.

“Asserting dominance?” I casually asked.

Dave laughed again. “Nah, just making a thirsty bitch’s dreams come true.” he joked.

Once again, I wasn’t offended, nor Dave’s words were ill-intentioned. We always made fun of each other after all, and considering what was happening… I honestly deserved that.

My friend reached for my head one more time, pulling it close to his denim ass, now completely sagging, my nose rubbing against the red fabric of his sweaty boxer shorts. This time he was blasting me on command, but honestly there were no different from his natural ones. He was indeed really good at quenching my thirst, I couldn’t deny that.

It was a series of mid rips, loud and about 3 seconds long each. I wish Dave always had nothing better to do than blasting me, to be honest. I again heard our other friends’ yelling something, but the sound from Dave’s farts was so loud it reminded me of the waterfall.

The tip of my cock dampened as the barrage ended with a longer 9 seconds rip, which almost teared a hole through my friend’s red boxer.

He finally let me go and he resumed his previous position, lying down next to me.

“Dave…” I said. “I’ll never understand why you do it, but thanks.”

“I swear I’m gonna kick your ass if you keep saying that.” he replied, pushing me a bit.

I tried to relax, as if nothing happened, another thing that Dave was much better than me at. I closed my eyes and focused on having a good night sleep… but I heard all that tapping again.

“Really?” I said, turning to him.

“If you can handle the noises my ass makes, you can handle my phone, you hypocrite.”

“I… you… you KNEW I was talking about the phone the whole time!”

Dave simply turned to me, sporting the most annoying smirk he could mess me with.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said one more time, and winked at me.

Truly asserting dominance, he raised one of his legs and a ripped a quick, loud one, effortlessly.

At this point I was just blushing like a fool. I turned my back to him to avoid eye contact because I was a mess. My bro is such a teasing bastard and I both hate and love him for this, but damn it’s getting way too hot in here. 

Luckily, the cold windy night helped cooling me down, even though there was more wind inside the tent than outside, because of Dave.

Maybe that’s why they call it “Windy Mountain” (yes, you knew it was coming).

End of Episode 24

[mamawasatesttube]

"you're a terrible liar" for fic prompts?

vaguely set after this ficlet but should stand alone!

Hours after the battle is over, when the dust has settled and the injured have been tended to, when the night has drawn on so late that it's circled back around to daybreak, Kon finally gets a few minutes to breathe.

Weariness settles deep into his bones. The fighting was exhausting enough—it'll never be easy, dealing with fuckin' Superboy Prime—but even after that was over, there was the cleanup. So much destruction wrought in so little time... he's going to crawl into bed and close his eyes and dream of TTKing people safely out of collapsed buildings. He knows it.

Still better than dreaming of the ones he couldn't save, though.

But now it's over. And that means he can finally, finally go find his fiancé and rest.

Tim's heartbeat, faithful as ever, leads him to a quiet hallway in the hectic hustle and bustle of the field shelter and hospital. Tim's holed up in one of the makeshift bedrooms here; he's not asleep, though, so Kon has no qualms simply opening the door and letting himself in.

The door clicks shut behind him. Sunlight streams in through open curtains; Tim is sitting on the air mattress on the floor, knees tucked to his chest. His head whips up the second Kon enters the room, and for a moment, he just stares, his eyes wide and his heart beating faster, like he can't quite comprehend what he's seeing.

Kon holds out his arms slightly, exhausted. Being near Tim means he's home. "...Hey."

The spell breaks. Tim scrambles to his feet and flies into Kon's chest, throwing his arms around his shoulders and holding on tight. His breath shudders through his body; he buries his face in Kon's collarbone and clings to him like a lifeline.

"You're okay," he whispers. Kon knows it's more to himself than anything; he has to convince himself that he can relax, that it's really over. That Prime didn't take Kon from him again. "You're okay."

"I'm okay," Kon agrees softly. He bows his head, presses his lips to Tim's hair, and lets out a deep sigh, weary and content. He's in Tim's arms—he's home.

Tim loosens his grip, his hands running down Kon's back to circle his hips, then back up to his chest. "You're not hurt? You're—did he hurt you?"

"Nothing major," Kon promises, catching those wandering hands in his own. He rubs his thumbs over Tim's knuckles, leans in, brushes a kiss to his brow, his chest aching with tenderness. "Buncha bruises, some scrapes, but nothing major. I'm okay, sunshine."

Tim stares up at him for several seconds, searching his face for any omission. When he finds none, a little of the tension melts away from his shoulders. Kon smiles at him softly, drawing him back into his arms; Tim leans into him, arms wound snug around his waist.

"What're you doing holed up back here?" Kon asks, after a moment. "Wait, don't tell me, lemme guess. You were helping Oracle coordinate relief efforts, but you were too antsy and freaked out and she got fed up with you and told you to go take a nap, but you were too wired to actually sleep, so you've been stuck here pacing a hole in the floor. Am I right?"

Tim makes a tiny noise that, on any other day, would probably be more indignant than the huffy little peep it is. "I'm fine."

Kon snorts, running his hand up his back into his hair. "You're a terrible liar, babe."

That makes Tim's head snap up. He gives Kon a dirty look, clearly offended—while still clinging to him, of course—and wrinkles his nose like an annoyed bunny. "I'm literally not. You are. I'm literally the best liar you know!"

Kon can't help it. He kisses him.

Tim melts instantly, warm and pliant in Kon's embrace. He kisses back desperately, his body belying all the anxiety and terror Kon knows have been drowning him since they last saw each other hours ago; Kon wraps his TTK around him, too, strokes his shoulders and caresses his hair and presses tiny telekinetic kisses all over his back.

"See?" Kon kisses him again, tender as can be. "Terrible liar. You've been a wreck." Another kiss. "Mm..." What was he going to say, again? He kind of forgot, what with all the euphoria of kissing his Tim. Uh... oh, yeah! Right. He nuzzles Tim's nose, leaning their foreheads together, and smiles down at him, exhausted and achy and so, so content. "I'm tired. Nap with me?"

Tim cups his cheek in one callused hand. He gazes up at Kon with so much unbridled adoration that Kon can't quite handle it; his cheeks grow warm every time Tim looks at him like this, even now.

"Of course I will," Tim says. He kisses the corner of Kon's mouth, then admits, as if it's some sort of secret, "I'm pretty tired, too."

Kon scoops him up and carries him over to the air mattress. Tim, more than accustomed to being Kon's favorite ragdoll by now, simply snuggles into his chest with a tiny smile. Kon doesn't miss the way he rests his hand over his heart.

"Hey," he murmurs, brushing his lips to Tim's brow. "I'm here. We're okay."

Tim lets out a slow breath. "Yeah," he says; Kon knows he's not lying this time. "I know we are."

[whatyourusherthinks]

The Rocky Horror Picture Show Review

God, you haven't seen this either? Have you watched ANY movies that didn't come out in the last ten years? Yes, my film history is filled with blind spots, but look on the bright side! I can tell you what I think about it in a modern retrospective kind of way!

What did I know about RHPS before watching it? Well, I remember playing The Time Warp on Just Dance 4 a lot. I saw the clip of the Sweet Transvestite song when I was probably too young to watch it. And I heard this movie was the pinnacle of so good it's bad. My friend Mary from the Video Booze podcast (I know you won't be reading this but HIIII MARY! Fuckin' name dropper over here.) loves the movie and is constantly telling me about the history and impact of this movie, so I went with her and my other friend/coworker (I know you won't be reading this either but HIIII! What, you aren't gonna tell us their name?) to see it. And well...

What's The Movie About?

It's astounding... Time is fleeting... Madness... Takes it's toll. But listen closely... Not for very much longer. I've got to... Keep control.

I REMEMBER Roan we don't have time to do the whole song. Aw...

What I Like.

THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING GREAT!

First of all, I like the story. It kinda steals from a bunch of classic horror movies in a very surface way. Like Doctor Frank-N-Furter is obviously a parody of Doctor Frankenstein, but he kinda acts like Dracula with all these people under his (sexual) thrall. Not to mention he's from Transylvania. But in a hilarious twist (Spoilers) TRANSYLVANIA IS A GALAXY IN THE MOVIE. THE TRANSYLVANIANS ARE ALIENS COMPLETE WITH SILVER AND GOLD OUTFITS AND LASERGUNS. It's so fucking funny, I absolutely loved it. This movie had me rolling in the aisles laughing. More to the point of the story, even though it heavily borrows from classic horror and sci-fi, it DEFINATELY is it's own thing. Doc Frank is such and iconic character and performance, I was really surprised that it was Tim Curry's first role in a movie! Admittedly he was playing the role on stage for a while, but stage and movie acting are two different things with different levels of elaboration. Everyone reprises their roles from the play, and they are all great. I STAN RIFF RAFF! His actor switching between two extremely different voices was so impressive!

And the music! HOT PATOOTIE BLESS MY SOUL! I REALLY LOVE THAT ROCK AND ROLL! Stop just singing every song! NO! THEY'RE ALL GREAT! I love musicals, especially ones with some darker themes. RHPS has some overt stuff like cannibalism, but the subtle storytelling implying Doc Frank's history as a concentration camp survivor is insane. Honestly, if Mary hadn't pointed it out I don't think I would have noticed. Also, I love rock and roll music! I was actually kinda impressed on how much storytelling was done in the lyrics of the music, because listening to most of them isolated, they just sound like songs! As much as I like them, there is a distinction between song written to be just listened to in isolation, and a song written to be part of a bigger story. RHPS has some songs that only really work in the context of movie (slash play) but The Time Warp, Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul, as well as a few other I can't think of of the top of my head work extremely well in isolation as well and perfectly slot into the storytelling of the movie.

This movie is so goddamn cool you guys.

What I Didn't Like.

Literally my only complaint is that the ending is a little too long. Like a skoosh. Mary told me the version we watched had one extra song stapled onto the ending, and the theatrical cut is much cleaner. So there's that.

Final Summation.

I think everyone who told me this movie is so bad it's good was too straight and dumb. Hey! This movie is actually, legitimately, really really fucking good! I think it may have became one of my favorite movies ever. The music, the queerness, the acting and story, it's all fucking perfect. Check it out if you like anything remotely related to this movie, old horror, musicals, queer people, cross dressers, rock and roll, fucking... Charles Atlas. Rocky Horror Picture Show is SO GOOD!

It's just a jump to the left.

AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Oh just end the review down already.

[faggotmox]

Well damn, now I want to see line cook Eddie in a dive dinner who’s crusty to everyone but who also adds extra food when he sees a messy skinny teen/young adult alone.

yeah i got this & wrote a little thing bc i love line cook eddie being a told bitch but also the best guy ever. so crusty diner au with eddie & mox under the cut, guest staring ruby. eddie kingston may have been an iron worker for real but he has the soul of a line cook baby.

"Eddie!" Ruby called out to the line cook standing half in the rain out the backdoor. "I'm off. You sure you're good to run the joint alone?"

"Yeah, yeah." Eddie stepped back into the diner without putting out his cigarette. "It's two twenty in the morning. I'll be fine until Willow gets here at 5." Ruby grimaced at the mention of one of her least favorite coworkers. To be honest, Ruby only really liked Eddie.

"I don't like leaving you here all to yourself. You might burn the place down." Ruby pulled her hood up.

"Nah. I'll just break the health codes. Go on, and get, kid. You've got classes tomorrow, huh?" Eddie gave her a look. "You always stall when you have classes tomorrow."

"Shut up. Gimme a hug before I leave?" Ruby walked through the kitchen to give the cook his nightly goodbye hug. "I locked the far door. Only one register is up. New coffee brewed, and your prep is done. Don't need a new pack or anything before I leave?"

"Stop." Eddie groaned, not about the hug but Ruby's constant need to help him out. "Go home, Ru. Get some rest. I'll text you when I'm off."

"Fine." Ruby stared him down for a moment before reaching into her backpack to pull out a fresh pack of cigarettes for Eddie anyways. "You're my big brother. I got to make sure you're taken care of too."

"Thanks, Ru." Eddie took the offered pack with a smile. He had been nearly out.

Most nights in their small crusty diner weren't busy. They catered to overnight workers, and all night college students. It was the first few days back from a school break so business hand't picked back up. Their few regulars at this time were out of town or cutting back expenses leaving Eddie with hours of nothing in the middle of the night. Plus the storm. At least it meant his supporting staff could fuck off, and he could smoke weed in the store instead of the rain.

Ten minutes after Ruby left Eddie laid down on the diner's bar top, his hoodie bunched up under his head and one of his Tims resting on the spinning bar stool. The diner had a Bluetooth stereo that Eddie would hijack to play something enjoyable.

The diner door rang about halfway through Eddie's blunt, making him sit up way too quick for his bad back. The door opening let in the loud thunder and heavy sound of rain, Eddie couldn't believe someone was out in the storm. Let alone this skinny kid in a huge Carhartt jacket.

"Y'all open?" The kid started at Eddie, half sat up on the counter and blunt still in his mouth.

"Well," Eddie sighed as he started to get down. "I guess we fuckin' are."

"Sorry." The kid's voice was raspy and quiet, but deep. When he lowered his hood Eddie took in the messy mop of strawberry blonde hair sticking to his forehead. "Don't have to put that out for me though."

"Don't worry about it." Eddie shrugged. "What're you havin'?"

"Ain't you the line cook?" The blue eyes sized Eddie up. "You a waiter too?"

"I let the others get home before the storm was too bad. What're you gonna have?" Eddie pushed the menu across the counter top. The kid looked at the menu awkwardly before speaking up.

"Just coffee." He shrugged, sitting down across from Eddie.

"You came out in a storm to get coffee. Fuckin' alright." Eddie shook his head as he started serving up the coffee. The blunt was put on the saucer with the cup and slid over to the kid. "Gotta name?"

"Just like coffee." The intense blue eyes flickered over to Eddie before picking up the blunt. "Mox."

"Mox. Alright." Eddie grabbed an apron from under the counter and tossed it at Mox. "I gotta go do some shit in the back. Anyone else come in and serve them some coffee and shout for me."

"The fuck?" Mox frowned as he caught the apron. "Serious?" But he got no answer as Eddie went into the back.

Almost everything in the kitchen was turned off except one grill top and fryer that were on low. The kid wasn't too old, and if he was walking into this shit hole in the middle of a storm it meant he didn't have anywhere to go to keep safe.

A lot of folks that had nowhere to go ended up in the diner. This kid Mox probably couldn't even pay for his coffee. It didn't take long for him to get a double burger with cheese and fries going. Every so often Eddie peaked out the window to see the kid just napping on the counter top. Eddie was an asshole but he was also a big softy.

"Ay yo, no sleeping on the job, kid!" Eddie shouted as he came out of the double doors to set the burger down in front of him.

"Uh..." Mox sat up, his eyes on the food with a deep frown. "I didn't want nothin'." He said defensively.

"Nah? Well, I guess I just gotta toss this out, huh?" Eddie went to take the plate back but Mox grabbed his hand. "You don't gotta pay for it, kid. It's on the house for curing my boredom."

"Sure?" Mox looked untrusting but was pulling the plate closer to him. "No one gives me food."

"I ain't no one. I'm Eddie." He snatched the last of the blunt back from Mox. "Eat before I steal it from you. Wanna cigarette?"

[kermdoeswriting]

Would it be funny if Jon finds out there was always a person with a notebook randomly sitting there (aka Lila in her 100 disguises) in every locations but when he told them (Miraculous gang and the DC heroes) about it, no one noticed his word at all.

That's genuinely hilarious and unfortunately something that probably WOULD happen in the MLB universe.

I can absolutely imagine them getting on Jon's nerves for the simple fact of somehow being able to completely avoid the topic everytime he tried to bring it up.

Like he doesn't know what's going on but he just CANT tell anyone what he's seeing so obviously in front of everyone. He's like Jim from The Office, staring angrily into space everytime he fails to tell anyone he saw Cerise in public for like the 3rd time.

It would torment him more if Cerise was aware of him knowing and somehow being unable to tell and also unable to actually do anything to her because then she'd absolutely mess with him. I feel like Jon would TRY to handle it himself and by some saving grace (for Lila's sake ) he just CANT catch her.

Its like knowing a character in a video game is obviously a villian but not being able to accuse them of anything because the storyline is adamant you wait until the moment THEY decide to reveal the plot twist.

It'd just be a series of things like this:

Jon after seeing Cerise for the third time that day very obviously stalking them: Guys? What's up with that gi-

Marinette turning back to see Jon trip on a crack in the sidewalk that wasn't there a second before, not hearing a thing he said: Jon?? Are you okay??

Jon with a sigh of acceptance: Peachy Marinette. Just peachy

Or

Jon to his dad: So I'm pretty sure I have a suspect for the Paris case dad!

Superman, hyperfocused into his own thoughts, not dismissing Jon but not fully listening: really? Who- actually one second son, I'm getting a call in from Gotham-

Jon watching his dad leave the room, knowing theyd not be talking about this again: are you fuckin kidding me.

OR

Jon writing down his evidence in a notebook with photographic evidence inside too: there's NO WAY this doesn't wor-

Rose tripping behind him and accidentally pushing him so that he loses his notes in the Seine: oh Jon I'm so sorry! I can buy you a new notebook!

Jon's eye twitching as he grinds his teeth: its fine Rose! It's fine

The concepts hilarious anon and horrible for them lol. It'd be funnier if Tim was the only one that believed Jon but it just becomes another Batman lost in the timestream situation for the both of them. Lmao