#Tim Drake Doesn't Know Batman Is Bruce Wayne

[momo-minomo]

Fic Fairy Friday: Civilian Tim Giving The Batfam Heart Attacks

I know, I know, this week's theme is weirdly specific but I was originally going to theme this 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Early' but like half of the ones I wanted to rec has him joining them late but fit the vibes I wanted so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BTW: Consider this a general TRIGGER WARNING. Jack and Janet Drake in the comics are, at best, neglectful parents and at worst vaguely emotionally abusive and physically threatening but no actual physical abuse. If the fic makes them more abusive than this canon baseline I will add a trigger warning. Feel free to let me know if you think I need to add an extra warning for something!

The Fic Fairy Friday Masterpost

Puzzles Made of Broken Glass by thatcuriouscat

Summary:

Sherlock Holmes retreats to his Mind Palace to think, to problem-solve. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, reportedly. 9-and-five-sixths-year-old Tim Drake has his Blanket Fortress. Timmy Drake’s parents go missing. He’s the only one who notices.

Momo's Notes: I usually prefer to only rec fics that are complete but I occasionally make an exception for one that's exceptionally good and still regularly updating. thatcuriouscat is one of those authors that knocks it out of the park every single time and the characterizations are perfection so this fic is a must read. Tim's parents go missing so Detective Drake starts investigating even as his entire life, precarious emotional stability, and distressing lack of self-preservation is crumbling down around his ears. I love fics where Tim and Robin!Jason meet and become friends and the chapter where Tim and Dick meet had me squealing and kicking my feet.

One Smart Magpie by Marbles_and_Sweetpeas

Summary:

Tim Drake likes to think he's your typical 12 year old. Well, except for the sneaking around at night and doing detective work. And figuring out the Bats' identity. But that's it. Really. Except everything seems to be spiraling out of his control. Something serious is going on in Gotham, and Tim might be the only one who can put all the pieces together in time to stop it. Or: Tim is a crazy little detective who just wants to help in any way he can. Of course the Bats are going to adopt him.

Momo's Notes: Another fic for baby detective Timmy and joining the batfamily early! Tim is wandering around Gotham at night knowing the usual secrets he shouldn't know but also running his own investigations. He's trying to figure out the mysterious happenings in the city at the same time Jason, Dick, and Bruce are aggressively trying to adopt this sweet kid with zero self-preservation instincts or supervision. Timmy is seriously badass during this one while still being a kid overwhelmed with being in way over his head.

Holy security breach, Batman! by destiny919

Summary:

Janet finally shoos him away towards the hors d'oeuvres or drinks table with the tacit understanding that she doesn't want to see him again until the end of the gala. And probably not even then, it wouldn't be the first time the Drakes forgot to take him home with them and Tim had to discreetly call an Uber before the host noticed and made Tim embarrass his parents. For this gala, however, he almost hopes they forget him again, because tonight Tim has a plan. They're at Wayne Manor, and Tim is going to find the Batcave.

Momo's Notes: Short and sweet! Precocious 8 year old Tim decides to put his detective hat on while at a Wayne gala and manages to find and sneak into the batcave. Cue the distressed bat and bird noises!

A Brief Interview by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday

Summary:

When Damian finds a small child with an expensive camera on a rooftop in the middle of Gotham, he decides to follow in his father’s footsteps and take the boy home. After all, why should Bruce be the only one who gets to add to the family? Damian and Tim age swap fluff.

Momo's Notes: Short but hilarious. A version of a "Tim Joins The Batfamily Late" trope where he's the 8 year old fanboy to Damian's 14 year old Robin. Damian decides he's had enough of being the baby of the family and proves he's his father's son by picking up a new little brother while on patrol and bringing him home with no warning to the rest of the household. The others will surely marvel at his generosity and brilliance. Tim is mildly alarmed but mostly starstruck.

Boom, Boom, Pow! by LilaVaporizer9000

Summary:

If anyone asked the Batfamily which Robin had the funniest ’joining the family’ story? Well, everyone would start with, “Well it seemed like Jason had the spot taken for good after having the audacity to try and jack the Batmobile’s tires and hit Bruce with his tire iron.” And then they’d say, “But then tiny Tim decided to try and steal the whole thing.” Or: When Tim is 11 he figures it’s not hurting anyone if he. Ya know. Takes a picture in the Batmobile. But then the power goes to his head and all of a sudden he’s hacking the Batmobile and tearing through Gotham on a rescue mission.

Momo's Notes: Gearhead baby Timmy takes the Batmobile on a joyride and the Batfamily was never the same. Dick and Jason's budding rivalry has delightful Wayne Family Adventures vibes. If you've read WFA you'll know the chapter I'm referring to when you get to those scenes lol. They are such total goobers. Bonus points for the author including a link to a playlist they made for Tim's cringe car music. I love it when authors include a fanmix for the story.

bitty batty baby vigilante crew by deargalileo

Summary:

There were two kids up on the roof. They couldn’t have been older than ten, but frankly, they looked like babies. The boy had dark hair and a red jacket, while the girl was dressed in all purple with blond hair poking out from under her hood. Jason was pushing himself over the ledge before he could really think about it. What were two kids doing on a rooftop, in the middle of the night, in Gotham? the story of two kids conning their way across gotham, and (mostly) inadvertently into the batman family.

Momo's Notes: There aren't nearly enough stories of tiny Timmy meeting Stephanie early. The chaos and shenanigans those two get up to as teens are legendary. I don't know if Jason's nerves can handle them as kids with WAY more recklessness and distrust of authority.

Surveillance by smilebackwards

Summary:

Tim knows antagonizing Lex Luthor wasn’t exactly his safest move but the point is really driven home by the bullet to the shoulder. Or: The AU where Jason never died and Tim is a civilian who contributes to crime fighting by taking surveillance photos and leaving them on the desktop of the Batcomputer.

Momo's Notes: Here's an awesome 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Late' trope fic! His casual disdain for dangerous rogues who'd happily squash him like a bug combined with his careless disregard for his own health make for an especially stressed Batfam, especially Bruce and Jason. This one is actually part of a series and has TimKon! Score!

Northern Attitude (I Was Raised on Little Light) by theskeptileptic

Summary:

It's not Tim's fault Batman slept with his mom sixteen years ago, or Tim's fault that Bruce Wayne regrets signing away his parental rights fifteen years ago, but Jack Drake sure thinks it is. Now Damian is bugging him about cows and family and Jason and Dick won't stop kidnapping him and Bruce is acting like court orders don't matter, like he doesn't have a huge bat-shaped secret to protect from literally the whole freaking world. Why is Tim the only functioning adult in this situation? This was supposed to be coated in angst, but it fell in the fluff bucket instead. (So, update, some people are saying this may not be as fluffy as I am advertising it. I plead the 5th.)

Momo's Notes: TRIGGER WARNING for incredibly abusive Drakes here. That "fluff bucket" claim in the summary is definitely false advertising. This story is really good tho with some quality Tim and Damian bonding! The number of stress and panic induced heart attacks Tim gives the Batfam in this one is truly off the charts lol.

cards on the table by wesslan

Summary:

Tim's parents faked their deaths and fled the country years ago, but neglected to take him with them. He spent some time on the streets, and now at 16, he makes a living as a fortune teller, stalking and hustling the shit out of Gotham's elite by telling them eerily accurate fortunes based on the information he gathers about them. His life is peculiar but he wouldn't change a thing. When he gets booked for the big Wayne Halloween party, however, he finds himself getting all tangled up with the Waynes, and the more fortunes he tells, the tighter the snare becomes. or: Tim just wanted to scam Gotham's elite, not end up on the Batfamily's watchlist. But it seems they just won't leave him alone..

Momo's Notes: Another 'Tim Joins The Batfamily Late' fic! Despite Young Justice not appearing at all in this fic it still gives me the YJ98 vibes with all the insane plans and shenanigans Tim has up in the air, here. He's stalking half of Gotham's rich, famous, and dangerous so he can scam them all into thinking he's a legit psychic.

Latchkey by goldkirk

Summary:

or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order. Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you. Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

Settle Our Bones by motleyfam, justbeyondstars, batmoniker

Summary:

Tim is good at galas. No, scratch that—Tim is great at galas. He’s been attending them ever since the age of three, when his parents first stuffed him into his little Gymboree tuxedo and gave him a stern lecture about ‘sitting quietly’ and ‘speaking when spoken to.’ He knows all the rules: what to wear, how to stand, when to smile, what to say, what not to say. He knows how to come across as polite and intelligent and charming, and on absolutely any other day, he would be rocking this. --- Or, my take on a ‘Tim Joins the Family Early’ AU, told through a series of sleepovers, most of which are unplanned. Featuring pre-teen Tim, Alive!Jason, and a whole lot of hurt/comfort.

Momo's Notes: The chances you haven't already read Latchkey and Settle Our Bones is slim if you're a Tim Drake fan but they are classics within the 'Tim Drake Joins The Batfamily Early' trope for a damn good reason so I had to include them on the off chance someone hasn't run across these amazing fics yet! TRIGGER WARNINGS for abusive Drakes! Also both of these series do a great job of depicting trauma recovery but that can also be triggering for some people so be careful.

PLAYLIST

Tim Drake Joins the Batfamily Early AU Spotify Playlist

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Bonus:

Barbara, first time at the manor after befriending Dick and hearing the story of his siblings (they're fostering Steph at that point) from him, walking directly up to Bruce with a decided look in her eyes: Dad said to tell you that if you try to kidnap or adopt me he'll arrest you, no matter how much good things you do for the city.

Bruce, developing a headache but also kind of wanting to adopt the brave little girl who just told him off without any hesitance: hn. (But what if...)

Dick: omg, you're considering it, aren't you? She says you'll be arrested and you're still considering it.

Bruce: hn. (But she's so brave, maybe I could get partial custody?)

Dick: I can't believe you!

Bruce: hn. (Maybe the commissioner could...)

Dick: Bruce, she even said it as soon as she met you.

Bruce, pouting: hn. (Fine)

Dick: you have a problem.

Bruce: hn. (I said fine)

Dick: yes, but did you mean it.

Babs, wondering if she should have stayed home instead.

Need a fic where Bruce acquires all his Robins (and his other non-Robin kids too) early for some reason or another and it's all cute and fluff except for Dick Grayson who somehow happens to be gone every time it happens and gets to come home and find a new kid every time he leaves and he's just so done.

Dick, 13 and just back from hanging out at Titans tower: hi, what are you doing here?

Tiny Jason: I stole Bruce Wayne's tires and he caught me so he kidnapped me.

Dick: He did what?!

Bruce, just walking in to the full extent of the glare of his eldest: I didn't kidnap you, I adopted you.

Tiny Jason: he rich-people-kidnapped me.

Dick *smiles in 'I have a headache'*

[lorena12me]

The Last Grand Theft

Here in AO3

Summary:

In a world where Tim lost his parents and was never Robin, the only ones who reached out to him were Bernard and the Dowd family, Tim owes them for taking him in and Bernard too owes them for allowing him to help the person he loves most in the world. They will go out of their way to show that they are helpful and can be trusted. It doesn't matter if helping pull off muggings and robberies in Gotham City is the way to do it!, it's what you do for family, right?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Speed up, Red, speed up!" yells Prod as he shoots for the car window and Tim hits the pedal and drives in reverse, making the streets just a blur of indistinguishable lights. Tim only has eyes to dodge the vehicles that cut across mid-street as they flee from the greatest threat of a Gothamite criminal.

The Bats.

As a child, Tim had imagined a thousand times to be one of Gotham's protectors, flying through the air as the city shone beneath his feet, growing up and helping under the guidance of the incredible bat and his ever-growing flock of birds, making a name for himself in the world's superhero and vigilante community.

Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that his parents would end up dead in an attack that Batman and Robin failed to stop when he was fourteen and then he would be sent into the system, spending a couple of years bouncing from house to house until Bernard managed to convince his father and mother to help him.

He would never have guessed that the reason his parents had been so reluctant to take him in wasn't because they hated him or resented his friendship with Bernard...It was because....

"Stop!" shouts Spoiler's female, imposing voice as he tries and fails to fire his grappling hook into the tires of their armored vehicle, flanking them with his motorcycle on the left as Black Bat's shadowy figure swooped in from the right in his own Bat-branded vehicle.

"Holy shit!" Prod or better known as Bernard Dowd, her boyfriend, exclaims as he extends his hand towards the inside of the vehicle, in Tim's direction "Red, the rubber bomb!"

Tim hurries to pass her the little green beads of his own invention, recently perfected and watches as his partner tosses them towards Spoiler's motorcycle and a blast of the synthetic compound gets tangled in the front tire of her Spoiler-Cycle causing her to lose speed and be forced to brake.

One less danger, but Black Bat is still in the race.

The quietest and second most dangerous bat after Batman (Who is being distracted across town by Mr. and Mrs. Dowd) swoops in. He jumps onto the hood of the vehicle and clings with the black claws of his suit to the metal of the car trying to grab Bernard. Tim pulls his friend inside the vehicle and closes the armored window, while both activate the air filtering mechanism of their masks to avoid being sedated with the capsule that Black Bat managed to sneak in before the window finished closing.

Tim begins to shake the vehicle dangerously, trying to dislodge Black Bat from its hood, when they hear on their communicators Mr. and Mrs. Dowd speak.

"Cargo secured Prod, Red, you may return to base."

Both friends look at each other and nod and Bernard presses the red button which causes the car's roof to detach, throwing Black Bat onto the road. Tim made sure to slow down a bit so the vigilante wasn't going to get seriously hurt, but he still grimaces as he sees her bounce several times on the street before they turn the corner and lose sight of her.

"Performing maneuver D-r345" Tim answers the comm.

"Roger, over and out."

The maneuver is basically to lose any trace of the bats and abandon the vehicle in a designated area where the self-destruct mechanism will activate and erase any evidence and clues that the bats could exploit to find them or discover their identities.

Two hours later, civilians Tim and Bernard arrive home as the bats are just finding the smoldering remains of their vehicle.

"We're home, mom, dad!" exclaims Bernard happily as both boys enter the kitchen where a luscious smell is flooding the house

"Welcome, children" smiles Mrs. Dowd warmly as she tastes the food in the slow cooker and nods in satisfaction "Just in time to celebrate children!"

Both boys take their places at the table as Mr. Dowd comes up from the basement with a bottle of expensive wine and laughs jovially.

"Another successful mission, boys" he celebrates "All thanks to you."

"Oh, it's no big deal... Henry" Tim still has trouble addressing the adults in his life by first name, but he tries "You were the ones who stood up to Batman."

"No dear" Mrs. Dowd shakes her head "Without yours and my son's inventions we couldn't have done it, that sticky liquid actually worked pretty well, Batman couldn't get off the ground fast enough to stop us!" she laughs, pleased remembering Batman cursing as he remained glued to the ground and Robin growling in anger when he suffered a similar fate.

Once upon a time, Tim would have imagined using his brains and inventions to help the bats. Now, all his efforts are devoted to sabotaging them so his boyfriend's family can get away with stealing and destroying shit in Gotham.

Whatever. It's not like he owes the Bat or his pack anything, he thinks angrily when he remembers being at his parents' funeral after Batman failed them, alone and lost enduring the hungry gaze of his parents' associates who couldn't wait to divvy up the leftovers of their wealth.

"It will be a small glass for each of you until you turn 18, boys" Mr. Dowd says as he uncorked the bottle and began pouring wine into the glasses "But you deserve to celebrate with us this great achievement boys, I'm proud of you two"

He was definitely proud as the vault in his basement held several bars of gold and diamonds, stolen directly from the Gotham City Bank.

Tim smiled, feeling that refreshing sense of pride that accompanied Bernard's father's praise. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at his boyfriend and realized he was smiling too, because they had both fought so hard to help the family and deserved to have their accomplishments recognized.

"Now we just have to relax, until the next opportunity" Mrs. Dowd says softly as she finishes putting the food on the table and claps her hands to let everyone know that dinner is about to begin "I hope you are concentrating on your studies, boys, although I know I don't have to worry about you, my little geniuses."

Tim smiles and then his mind travels back in time to the moment Bernard called him on his old, broken phone and exclaimed loudly and excitedly that his parents had finally agreed to take him into their home, so he wouldn't keep hopping from foster home to foster home.

He remembers being terribly frightened, carrying only a backpack with what few clothes he had and an old photo of his parents (he had discarded all photos of Batman after they failed him so terribly), only to be taken to the basement that very night and Tim was horrified, thinking they were going to murder him.

"If you're going to be one of us, Timothy" he remembers Mr. Dowd saying in a stern voice "Then you have to know who the Dowd family are."

Then they revealed to him who they were. A gang of bank and museum robbers. At the time they weren't famous enough to have a name of their own, but Tim already knew of a couple of heists committed by them.

"We are trusting you with such an important secret only because our son has begged us to trust you, we expect you to reciprocate in kind" the "and if you don't..." had been heavily implied.

But Tim no longer had anything to lose and his admiration for Batman had died along with his parents, so he welcomed this new life with open arms and strove along with Bernard to prove to the Dowd's that he was useful.

They had both succeeded. Bernard had even confessed to him that since Tim had been with them, his parents had become more proud of Bernard since they had made themselves useful and devised new devices and codes and plans so that the heists managed to get bigger and bigger and the family made their own name.

They had gone from being ordinary thieves to practically Rogues in their own right.

Dinner passed in lively conversation, everyone casually commenting on certain parts of their recent heist, which had gone perfectly and needed a polish for the next opportunity.

Dinner ends and they are both sent to their rooms while Mr. and Mrs. Dowd go down to the basement, probably to count and record the winnings.

Tim and Bernard lie down together (they are allowed to sleep together if they keep the door open) and Bernard rests his head on his boyfriend's chest.

"Do you think we'll be able to quit when we go to college?"

"...I hope so."

They had both talked about it and even though it was a little while before high school was over, neither of them really wanted to devote their lives to crime.

"Just..." Bernard whispers "I think if we keep going like this one day they're going to want more than we can handle and we're all going to get screwed."

"...But we don't want to let them down...we have to reciprocate everything they've done for us" Tim recites, because it's the truth. They can't just abandon them like this, they took care of Tim when no one else would.

Bernard nods, both aware that they can only hope they'll be allowed to get out of it safely, before it's too late.

But six months later, Tim and Bernard were led by Mr. and Mrs. Dowd to the basement base and after putting a stack of folders, index cards and maps on the table, they were given the instructions for their new objective.

"We're going to pull off our biggest heist to date" Mrs. Dowd says, all sharp smiles and hunger on her face.

"What's it all about, Dad?"

"We're going to kidnap one of Bruce Wayne's sons and use him to open his private vault in the Wayne Enterprises building."

Holy Shit.

[prlssprfctn]

Bruce and Jason, who accidentally fix their relationship in a relative secret and distance from the rest of the family (Alfred excluded, of course), and decide to keep this fact as a secret from the rest of the family, just for fun. Because, let's be honest, Bruce is no less a brat than Jason is, he is just better at hiding it the older he gets.

Dick, sighing: Listen, I am about to invite Jason to this family dinner. And I don't care if you want it or not! And if you try to sabotage this day by your moral code lectures, I'll have a word with you! Bruce, indifferent, while messaging Jason at the same time: Mhm.

(On the other part of Manor) Tim: Honestly, I am not giving you a choice here. You will come to this dinner, Jason. Just... just ignore Bruce, alright? Jason, dramatically huffing, while liking Bruce's messages: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER! Alfred: ...My circus. My monkey. I shall stay collected, nevertheless.

Damian: Father had been disappearing after patrols lately. I can't track him... What do we think is going on? Is he found himself a new child he plans to adopt soon? We can't get another sibling. Tim: Relax. He is probably into a new woman. Or a man. Whatever. Dick, worried: Guys, what if it is another villain or rogue? Jason, with whom Bruce spends time after patrol by munching fast food on the skirts of town: ...Lol Damian: That's not funny, Todd. Barbara, who knows everything: ...It is funny. Dick: Babs!

Tim: You know, Jason had been surprisingly chill lately. I knew he was doing better, but he stopped avoiding Manor that much. Bruce, arching his eyebrows: Alright? Tim: Do you think... maybe you two can finally talk? And fix your mess? Bruce, who just came to the cave after reading session with Jason, hiding his smile behind a sad face: I don't know, chump. It is complicated.

Dick, calling Jason randomly: Urgh, B is such a bitch! Jason, gasping: Right? Tell me about it! Bruce, sighing from his side of the couch as Jason puts The Crown show on his television: ...

[headcanonthings]

Tim: *dies* Stephanie: Timer starts now! When do you think he’ll be back? I say two months Damian: Bullshit. One month Dick: nah, half a month Bruce, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TIM JUST DIED! Jason, scratching his chin in thought: One week

[robintimate]

I know fanon Tim is practically like, the opposite of canon Tim, and the coffee addiction is one of the notoriously opposite things considering canonically Tim doesn't even like coffee, but the fact that it was started because Tim would fall asleep in places?? like, there is such a golden opportunity here and ppl decided to project their coffee addiction on him instead???

Cause imagine Tim who falls asleep anywhere. Tim who works and works and decides that he'll go to sleep after this one last bit but accidentally falls asleep in front of the Batcomputer. Tim who is found by Bruce, who goes all soft, picks him up and takes him up to his bedroom.

Imagine Tim having movie nights with Jason with the worst horror film that Jason arranged just to see Tim get scared except he doesn't react to any of the jumpscares because he fell asleep 5 minutes in. Jason doesn't know if he should be offended or impressed about the whole thing.

Imagine Tim just dozing off while he's trapping Damian so that he can't stab him and Damian doesn't realise until

Dick: ...and I wish you would stop but you– Tim?

Tim: ....

Dick: Is he... is he actually asleep?

Damian who has been trapped in his hands the whole time and thought that Tim was also listening to the lecture is more furious than ever because how dare Tim leave him alone in this.

New plan to murder Tim in his sleep coming up soon. (Because how dare he let himself be so vulnerable around Damian!)

[sad-littletalker]

If Bruce is covering as Nightwing right now, who's acting as Batman in Gotham?

Tim: ok so any takers for the cowl?

*everyone looks at Jason as he is the second oldest*

Jason: oh no way. Absolutely not. Tim?

Tim: after evil gun Batman? ha. Nope. Plus DC doesn't pay much attention to me to make a good story about that.

Damian: may I-

Everyone: no.

Stephanie: OH I COULD BE PURPLE BATMAN!

Cassandra: I want to be Batman if Steph is my Robin

*everyone considers it*

Tim: that... isn't a bad idea actually. I like it.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

timkon clone baby au where when bruce comes back he's furious to learn that tim made a baby bc what the fuck, tim? that's so irresponsible- and then he lays eyes on the baby and immediately falls in love and suddenly his lecturing is much less effective when he's bouncing a baby on his knees and pausing every 30 seconds to coo at it

[gaywineauntsstuff]

the reason I hate the "Tim doesn't trust Dick after Damian/spyral/ric" is because they are besties your honour.

Like there's a post going around that I cannot for the life of me find that says Dick is Tims trusted adult and they are so right fr ong.

Because despite what Fanon believes Dick is a pretty chill guy and people take one look at him and go "let me unload my emotional baggage on you"

There's like a very famous panel (that im too lazy to find or remember the name of the run its in okay don't yell at me) where Tim basically goes "soooo my girlfriends pregnant" and Dick nearly falls off the roof.

Tim is calling Dick for the dumbest shit imaginable to the world ending and so are the rest of the batkids.

so I have taken the Canon that Dick knows if not all but most and generalised it to hell.

-------------------------

Jason has been on a team with like 80% of OG titan members

they're having gossip session

Jason in a war zone dodging bullets with his bat travel mug in his hand: And THEN! Kori and Roy shared this look and you know the look they give you when they're judging you for bat reasons and you're like tell me why you're mad I was raised by a crazy person my normal levels are skewed.

Dick in NYC with a blueberry bagel In one hand, his Turkish coffee in another, just finished meeting up with Donna who gave him THAT exact look: No REALLLLL why are they like that, just tell me which one of the creepy traits I internalised as a child is bothering you.

Jason: omg you get it anyway so I grab the bomb and start playing soccer with it because its round and im bored and starfire takes it away like idk what im doing? bro ive been bombed I know how to work with a bomb..

Dick: hmmm and then what happened

Jason: and then.....

--------------------------

Tim: Dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Dick: yea Tim

Tim: Kon is being a dick

Dick: oh?

Tim: yeah and its really starting to bother me man

Dick who knows Kon is dead and Tim is either hallucinating or drugged to be more susceptible to manipulation and is already on his way: hmm tell me more babybird whys he upsetting my lil brother

Tim about to tell Dick what is a fever dream bc he contracted pneumonia and is loopy off his ass on painkillers:

---------------------------

steph does this more with babs in the hero scene but its just... so easy and totally gets into the habit of it after Dick is her Batman for a bit and now she uses him as her civilian life therapist

Steph on her way back from campus: and then this bitch looks me up and down and pours her coffee cup down my shirt!

Dick on his way back to blud after decking bruce in the face: hold on hold on hold on she did what??

Steph nodding vigorously even though he can't see her: pulls my whole ass sweater away from my body and pours her peats coffee down my goddamn shirt Dick.

Dick: omg she didnt

Steph still nodding: she DID and then I found out from Jonny who found out from Vivian that someone told her I made out with her boyfriend at Leos house party

Dick who has no idea who any of these people are: wait but you were at Leos for like an hour max last week. we has smoothies after.

StepH: exactly so I had proof that I wasn't there and confronted her and went like. I don't want your crusty ass alt white boy whose favourite 'indie' band is the neighbourhood. I dated Tim fucking Drake the OG crusty ass white boy and I don't do repeats

Dick choking on his coffee:

Steph: anyway we are besties now and planning on getting her boyfriend back because apparently he cheated on her with this drop dead gorgeous girl and im high key a lil complimented she thought we were the same person.

Dick who initially called for casework and is actually so happy one of the people he calls siblings is actually like living a life outside of vigilantism: tell me more

Steph: you sound a little teary

dick: don't worry about it

-------------------------

Damian: Richard

Dick: Damian

Damian: so I might be skipping patrol with father

Dick:? what you love patrol??

Damian: and school

Dick: Dames? what's going on:? is everything okay? you can talk to me

Damian: I am volunteering at a hospital

Dick: kid

Damian: Listen before you sAY anything I know what we do is important but I think I can help in another way and -

Dick had brown parents and was training for the olympics at 8, totally knows what its like to have insane expectations and rebel with a day job: kid kid calm down okay? you wanna be a doctor? is that it?

Damian: well? I dont really know but I just? there has to be another way to help people. besides what we do I mean-

Dick: Alfred left me Thomas waynes journals I initially thought they were to bash your fathers head in when he was being stupid but it seems the old man was looking out for us. Wanna take a stab at your other grandpas legacy when you come over next weekend. I'll tell Bruce we patrolled so you get a few more days off.

Damian: you're the best

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

IM VERY SORRY BIT HERE'S PART OF AN AU OF MINE EXPLAINED BY ONE MEME

[l0singsdogs]

I've been thinking about how, every year, the Batfam spans different generations and ages — how more and more younger characters are added as time goes on. I remember reading a Batman fanfic from 2014, where the kids were 10, 16, 20, and 25. It made sense back then because it was assumed they were born in the early 2000s or even the 90s, depending on when the story was written. They had lived through historical events.

But now, if you think about it… writers today would have to place Dick Grayson’s birth around 2000 — meaning he was just a year old during 9/11. Jason would have been born in 2005, and if he died at 15, that means it happened in 2020 — right in the middle of the pandemic, depending on how you write it. Damian, if you make him 12, would have been born in 2012. He probably doesn’t even know how to use Excel because kids now are born into a world of smartphones.

And Tim Drake? If he's 16, that puts his birth year at 2008. He wouldn’t have seen the old MTV Awards or experienced certain cultural moments that shaped the world. Most of them are Gen Z, and Damian is part of Gen Alpha. Jason, aside from dying in 2020 at 15, wouldn’t have even enjoyed those years because of COVID. Damian never saw Lady Gaga’s early music videos when they dropped, never watched Hannah Montana.

We have to accept that the more people write about the Batfam, the younger the characters will become — tied to their own generations. They're closer to being born in 2030 than having a Dick Grayson who was born in 1990.

The same goes for Bruce Wayne, but that’s another topic. He’s usually portrayed as being 40–45 years old, but the idea of him watching The Mark of Zorro in black and white is something that, at some point, will need to be reinterpreted. His parents, too, would have to be younger, and that classic "60s-style" aesthetic people often imagine for them isn’t as timeless anymore.

Anyway, this was something that’s been on my mind for a while, and I just had to get it out.

[glimpsesofjay]

My friend at work told me a funny doctor story about when they were little and I just couldn't stop thinking about batfam stuff long enough so now you get their story but Batman.

Imagine, little robins need to get vaccinated too (probably more then kids irl because there gotta be gotham specific vaccines). Cue, small Robin ( i had Timmy in mind because I love that little psycho and the premise fit in my mind) sat on an examination table, listening very intently to the Doc that has been explaining the Vaccines in great detail (because Timmy asked and wanted to be 1000% in the know).

Doc: And that's it kiddo! Any more questions? Or are you ready? It's really just a little poke! Tim: No it's fine, I'm ready now!

And when the Doc is just about to poke his arm, he just fucking LEAPS of the table and runs to the front door. BUT he doesn't leave because he can't just leave bruce there, so he stays seated on the steps until Bruce comes outside and sits next to him to calm him down.

They go back inside, the Doc tells Tim that it's okay he got scared but he really needs that vaccine. So tiny Robin sits back down, the sleeve goes up, the stuff is ready... And the little dude LEAPS a g a i n.

Only this time, there's 6'2 Bruce blocking the entire doorframe and he picks Tim up by the back of his sweater like a kitten to deposit him back on that table.

I thought that sounded cute, I might just draw a little comic for it over the week end! (And now I'm contemplating the others.)

[prlssprfctn]

In his new room - in his new house - Jason searches up for a circus performances and stares at them for hours. First, he watches at them mindlessly, unconsciously curious, and then, he starts to take notes.

He is a street kid, and everything about him screams of that. So, he is nowhere near the grace of these performers on the screen. His arms are not that strong, too, but he is agile, and his legs are much stronger - he can think of something.

He can be just as good as the boy he is replacing.

It is not like someone tells him to match Richard Grayson, and it is not like someone admits that Jason is here to replace the first Wonder Boy, but Jason heard Bruce's conversation with Dick earlier. It was meant not for his ears, but it doesn't matter now.

"So, now what, you exile me, and bring a boy to replace me?!"

Jason is not mad. All of it ‐ adoption papers, the manor, the school - is much more than he ever thought he would get in his life. Being replacement doesn't sound as bad anyway; especially, if his brother is so cool.

So, he makes notes on circus performances and slightly chopes his hair. They are much curlier than Dick's - he has more of a wavy ones, and the only ever look that way, when they get long; his childhood photos with short hair looks too straight - but the cut does its magic.

The next day, Bruce compliments his hair absentmindedly and is positively surprised by his new moves on the patrol, asking where he learnt it from. Jason lies about not remembering, but his cheeks are flashed, and his smile is all about teeth. He can't wait to show it to Dick once they finally get on a mission together.

Expect, when they do, Dick just nods and mutters a light-hearted "good job" before leaving to talk with his team. And Jason knows Dick doesn't want to be mean - he gets it; no one feels good about having a replacement, especially the one that seems so cheap in comparison - but he still cries that night in his pillow, feeling himself a little kid, even if he isn't one. Even if he never was.

Jason wonders if his own replacement would make him understand Dick.

But Jason never gets replaced.

No matter the taunting voice of the Lazarus Pit in the back of his head - that sometimes sounds suspiciously like Talia's; you remain unavenged and replaced - and his own intrusive thoughts that spiral in uneven lines, Jason doesn't think Tim was ever meant to be his replacement. Being replaced means to match the person that was meant to be left behind. And no one asked Tim to be like Jason.

If anything, memory of Jason was thrown under the rag, hidden and locked securely in heads of those who survived. And if they brought Jason up, then it was always an example of what Robin shouldn't do: run away, disobey, and allow emotions to consume you. So, not much of an exemplary original. More like an opposite.

Jason feels an urge to explain that to Tim once; when they sit together on the rooftop, almost like a proper family, instead of broken pieces of someone's idea of a one.

'You could never replace me,' he says, and the instant it leaves his mouth, he knows it came out wrong.

Tim rolls his eyes.

'Yeah, dude. Whatever.'

'No, I mean—' He grits his teeth, scrapping slightly the back of his hand. 'I mean... You could never replace me, because... Because you were always better.'

Tim freezes. His big blue eyes shift in something more confused, and it is almost as if he is not sure how he needs to react — to protest? To agree? To thank him?

Jason doesn't know what to do, too.

He wants to say: it is easy as that, babybird. They wanted to have someone who would have nothing in common with me — someone who could help them to forget about my existence, about the existence of the failed Robin.

But he can't make himself speak again. And he is not sure he wants to stay any longer to hear Tin manging to put his thoughts in the words; he is better than him at this, too, and he almost always sounds convincing.

So, he leaves.

In his room - in the building he owns now - he ruffles his outgrown hair, fluffs up the white streak, and passes by his only remaining photo with Bruce in the frame, on the shelf under the stolen tire.

He still does this semi-circus move in his fights - almost frozen in the air, with his back arched - but he doesn't expect anyone to compliment him anymore.

[farshootergotme]

Sometimes the previous Robins forget they don't use the name anymore and this has caused a few misunderstandings in multiple occasions.

Batman: Robin, you'll cover my back.

Nightwing: On it, B.

Batman: ...I said Robin.

Nightwing: Wha- Oh.

Nightwing: Robin, stay out of this!

Red Hood: You don't tell me what to do!

Robin: He's talking about me.

Red Hood:...

Nightwing: Welcome to the club.

Alfred: If the news are to be trusted, I believe Robin was shot in battle?

Tim: What? No, I was-

Damian: A bullet it's nothing to me, Pennyworth.

Alfred: Then removing it will be a walk in the park. Now, the medbay is waiting, master Damian.

Damian: Tt.

...

Alfred: And master Timothy...?

Tim:... In my defence, Red Robin is basically the same thing.

Alfred: It's quite all right, sir. You wouldn't be the first one.

Batman: Robin!

Nightwing: B?

Red Hood: What do you want?

Red Robin: Yes?

Robin: Tt.

Red Hood: Damn it.

Red Robin: It's Red Robin, okay? Red.Robin. ShitIthoughtIwasoverthis.

Nightwing: Well, this is awkward...

Batman:

Batman: We'll talk about this after patrol.

Bonus:

Steph: You know, Cass, I'm starting to think being Robin for only two months was for the best.

Cass: Agree.

Duke: Second that. I knew telling Bruce I wouldn't be another Robin was a good idea.

[umbrellajam]

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (Vol. 1) #120 - "Uh... Don't think that's how you do it..."

Dick meets Cass with zero (0) context on her background, attempts a friendly handshake, gets an unconventional response, and makes an awkward joke.

Batman (Vol. 1) #657 - "Umm. 'Here on my world, we call this gesture a handshake...'"

Tim meets Damian with zero (0) context on his background, attempts a friendly handshake, gets an unconventional response, and makes an awkward joke.

THEY'RE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR

[lena-thinks-too-much]

Okay, so anyone who says Tim is a Ravenclaw is WRONG. If you think Tim is a Ravenclaw then you don't understand Hogwarts houses outside of "the cool kids, the smart kids, the nice kids, and the mean kids".

Like you mean to tell me Tim "I blackmailed Batman to make me Robin" Drake isn't a Slytherin?

Tim who has more contingencies than Batman and is the only Robin that can LIE to batman?

Tim decides something needs to happen and then makes it happen. Like that isn't the most Slytherin trait ever.

Slytherin's are cunning, resourceful, and ambitious. If you don't think that describes Tim Drake then you clearly haven't read the Red Robin comics.

I mean let's take a look shall we?

He realizes that batman didn't really die, and not a single person in the entire hero community believes him, so what does he do? He decides to find and save batman himself. AND HE SUCCEEDS.

There's the ambition.

Tim fought seven powerful metahuman assassins, whose abilities he did not know of before, while protecting a civilian, AND WON.

Resourcefulness.

And do we really need to talk about how many times Tim faced Ra's in a battle of wits and won?

Cunning.

So yeah, Tim Drake is a Slytherin and if you still don't think so, fight me.