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thisaccisdead · 4 years ago

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give up on a miracle - sanders sides au - chp. 1

pairing(s): as of now, romantic nicomas and platonic everyone else

warnings: lots of religious stuff

summary: patton, virgil, logan, and janus are angels in charge of answering prayers. when they find out the earth is scheduled to be destroyed in a week, their only hope for saving it is to set up two humans: thomas sanders and nico flores.

word count: 3.5k

notes: this is a based off of miracle workers but not an exact au, idk it’ll be fun, you don’t have to have seen the show, you just have to like silly angel shenanigans

Please, God, let this somehow work out.

Thomas didn’t ask for miracles too often. Well—that was a lie, he probably prayed for some inconsequential thing everyday, but he rarely meant it the way he meant this one. The man at the mall felt like fate. He was beautiful, and according to his backpack he was gay, and he was just a few tables down, and... Thomas should have just said hi as soon as he had noticed him, but he had psyched himself out. Like always.

Usually that would be the end of the story, but as Thomas was headed for the exit, the man was there too. In front of him. Speaking to him.

Thomas was too caught off guard to process the first half of what he said—though he did register being given back his abhorrent carrot snack—and when he tuned back in, all he caught was:

“Uh, it’s okay! It’s probably a bit too nosy for me to ask anyway.”

“Uh, yeah! Super nosy! What’s wrong with you, man?” was the sentence that came out of Thomas’s mouth in response. He blamed his lips for coming up with it, because he knew his mind couldn’t have been involved.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” the man smiled apologetically at him, and even that small, sheepish smile was so radiant… yeah, Thomas was mentally beating the shit out of himself. “Well, have a good night!”

So, now the fate-given man was headed somewhere else, and Thomas was about to lose him—probably forever—if he didn’t act. So, obvious answer: he had to act. But he just… couldn’t. Not without a sign at least.

Not without a push.

When no push came, Thomas told himself it wouldn’t have led anywhere anyway. He continued about his day, with only the slightest added weight in his chest.

•••

“Aw, Virge, we have to do something about this one!”

Virgil looked up from his own paperwork to see the prayer Patton had pulled up.

“‘Please, God, let this somehow work out,’” he read out dryly. “Hm, not very specific.”

“Oh, but you didn’t—c’mon, look—“ Patton waved his hand to replay the video of the scene. The figures popped up on the screen, and Patton was reminded all over again of the dopey, flustered expression of the human, Thomas, as he failed so miserably at talking to his mall crush. It was such a silly, hopeful wish—Patton’s favorite kind—and he couldn’t bear to see it go unanswered.

His fellow angel did not share this opinion, evidentially. “Nope. Nuh-uh. No way,” Virgil said, “Love prayers are stupid as shit, hardest of all, never work out. If this whole department’s getting shut down, I’d rather spend my last week answering achievable prayers.”

Patton frowned. His brown-dappled wings drooped as his excitement wavered. “Is that right, though?” he asked, “Should we really stick to… what? Finding lost wallets? Delivering extra sandwiches? Like we’ve done every year of this job? If this is all ending, I wanna finally do something that matters, Virge.”

Virgil looked betrayed. “Lost wallets do matter, Patton. Maybe they don’t end droughts, or heal hearts, but that doesn’t mean they don’t matter. If people wish for it, it matters to them. I always thought you agreed with me on that.”

Patton bit his lip. He did agree with Virgil, on some level, and on any other day he would have considered his words more carefully. But with the prayer department set to close down this very week, he had lost some of his filter. Maybe his ideas were far-fetched, but when he had joined the Department of Answered Prayers he had been hoping to do exactly that--end droughts, heal hearts.

“Virgil’s right,” chimed in Logan. Their manager made his way over, and took Patton’s tablet from his hands. He swiped upwards on the prayer, officially dismissing it as ‘impossible.’ “There is no need to feel bad, Patton. It’s not our fault humans mainly ask for impossible things. If they want impossible, they need God, and God doesn’t have that kind of time. If they want an extra sandwich… we can pull a few strings.”

Logan nodded approvingly to where Virgil was coding breezes on his tablet, screen open to a view of a rural town avenue. He was carefully, cautiously, innocuously blowing leaves into piles one-by-one. This process eventually cleared the front yard of a small house, just in time for a kind-eyed, middle-aged man to come home and cheer at the sight of the finished chore. He even did a stupid little dance to himself, and Patton saw the smallest smile tug at Virgil’s lips.

“I agree with Patton,” came a voice from over by the mini fridge. Janus was doing what he did best: sipping at the canned wine he wasn’t meant to have, not doing any work, and giving his opinion on everything anyway. “Let’s do something interesting. It’s not like it matters at this point.”

“What do you mean?” Patton squinted at him.

“Cuz the prayer department’s getting shut down, duh, what else have we been talking about?” Virgil answered.

“No,” Janus said, “Well—yes, but… you know why we’re getting shut down, right?”

Patton and Virgil tilted their heads at him, and Logan looked away. A smile appeared on Janus’s face, but not one of joy. One that had an edge, a venom in it. “Logan… you didn’t tell them?”

“It would only upset them,” the management angel replied, still not meeting Janus’s eyes.

“Yeah, because they’ll not be upset at all when they see Earth randomly explode in a few days,” Janus deadpanned.

“What?!” Patton and Virgil exclaimed in simultaneous dismay.

Logan glared at Janus. “Are you happy? Now we have to deal with this for the next week.”

“Earth can’t explode yet,” Virgil said matter-of-factly, “that’s not right. Right?”

Patton nodded emphatically. “We should’ve gotten at least a century’s notice! Or had it on a public schedule somewhere!”

“Yeah, God has to call it off. At least for now,” Virgil agreed.

“You want God to stop it?” Janus said with a laugh. “He didn’t even remember it was happening; it was His PA who told the management staff.”

“Yes, it was,” Logan narrowed his eyes at Janus. “How did you find out about it anyway?”

Janus opened his mouth, but before he could answer, Virgil cut in, “God’s not gonna do anything about it?”

“It’s been in His plan. Why would He need to change it?” Logan asked rhetorically, adjusting his large, round-framed glasses as he did so. It was a movement he made often when he was being a know-it-all.

“How’s Earth gonna die?” Patton asked, looking at the floor, still in denial. He had lived his life on Earth, he had been a human—they all had, before they died and became angels. It had been so long since he’d been alive, he couldn’t quite remember the feeling of it. The memory was blurred around the edges, but it still seeped warmth, like dough burning into bread over a fire. Now, the only connection he had to that sensation were the humans--the chance to watch them, how they lived such utterly flawed, full lives. He recalled Thomas’s hopeful expression.

“Asteroid,” Logan replied. He didn’t need to check his files to give the answer, his ink-blue wings stiff behind him--and that was when Patton knew, despite his cold, indifferent attitude, this news was weighing on him too.

“Like the dinosaurs. Well, bigger. But still unoriginal of Him,” Janus scoffed, checking his nails—well, more like checking his gloves, which seemed unnecessary. Something mournful crossed his face for a moment, but Patton couldn’t place what. “The dinosaurs were sad too.”

“You lived in the 19th century. You weren’t around for dinosaurs,” Logan stated, brow furrowed in confusion. Janus ignored him.

“An asteroid? He could prevent that so easily! Earth deserves to at least live to its natural end,” Patton said. He glanced to Virgil, hoping for backup, but his coworker seemed most focused on biting his black-polished nails into dust.

“Well, isn’t it the natural end if it was in His plan?” Logan asked, once again, rhetorically. He also adjusted his glasses again. Patton liked to think of himself as particularly nice, even for an angel, but he wouldn’t have minded seeing those glasses broken in that moment.

“I’m more interested in your claim that Earth doesn’t ‘deserve’ to end,” Janus smiled at Patton. It was a slippery kind of smile, one that he couldn’t grasp the intentions of. “Overall, it’s a dumpster fire of a planet, wouldn’t you agree? I mean, 99% of the prayers are literally impossible for angels to answer at this point.”

“Yeah, well, I know some angels who are too busy with their shitty wine to even try—“ Virgil began to complain, turning on Janus, but Patton was too busy having a revelation to pay much attention to it.

“That’s it!” Patton exclaimed, jumping up from his seat with a grin.

“Please, be more specific, Patton,” Logan sighed. “Define ‘it.’”

Patton was, once again, too busy to pay attention to this. He made for the doorway with haste, only tossing over his shoulder: “I’m going to meet God!”

•••

Logan, Janus, and Virgil made it to God’s office before Patton did. He wasn’t the best with maps, so sue him. The trio was waiting in the grand hallway for him, and he was thankful that they had decided to back him up, despite the fact they had no idea what he was doing. Even though the coworkers bickered their fair share, you couldn’t work as the only 4 angels in a crumbling department without a certain bond forming.

Patton gave them a grateful smile as he strolled past them and right up to the secretary’s desk. The secretary, who was… not present? He checked the name plaque. Engraved in the gold of it was: Mrs. Snuffles, but the ‘u’ had been scratched out and written over so that it was Mrs. Sniffles. Before Patton could even begin to be perplexed by this, a large orange tabby hopped up from the floor, where she had been hidden, and onto the desk.

The cat looked him in the eye, with a surprising amount of purpose, and meowed.

“Hello?” Patton asked, dumbfounded. “...Mrs. Sni—Snuffles?”

She meowed again, this time with an undercurrent of what Patton could only assume was impatience.

“I—“ Patton looked back at the group behind him, but they just shrugged. They were following his lead. That couldn’t be good. “We would like to schedule a meeting with God, please.”

Mrs. Snuffles trotted over to a stack of papers, and pushed the top one aside with a swipe of her paw. She looked up from it after a moment, and then jumped down from the table, going up to the gilded, arched doorway at the end of the hall. She started meowing loudly, and soon an angel with cardinal-red wings and a matching red suit jacket stepped out. He looked down at Mrs. Snuffles, then up at Patton.

“I’m terribly sorry, but God is not available right now. He’s very busy,” the angel explained with a polite smile, the kind that was trained and not felt, “and he will be until Earth explodes. Thank you, goodbye.”

“Oh,” Patton said dumbly. He maybe should have expected that.

Mrs. Snuffles hissed at the angel, and he sighed. “You really think they want to talk to Him?”

“We do!” Patton interjected.

“You think you do,” the angel replied, an undercurrent of bitterness to his tone.

“Same difference, right?” Patton said, giving the other a hopeful smile.

“Just let us in, Princey,” Virgil’s annoyed voice came from behind. “Don’t be an ass. At least not more of one than usual.”

Patton looked between the two of them. “You know each other?”

‘Princey’ gave Virgil a deadpan glare. “Fine. You want a meeting with God? Be my guest.” He stepped aside from the doorway, gesturing to it with a sarcastic flourish.

When no one else made a move, Virgil grumbled and pushed past Patton. The rest of the group followed. When they got to the door, Patton paused and turned to the red-winged man. “Princey—“

“Roman,” he corrected.

“Roman,” Patton repeated. He pointed at the cat curiously, “Mrs. ‘Sniffles’?”

Roman blushed. “I was allergic when I was alive.”

A resounding reply of “Me too!” went through the group, and they all turned to each other in mild surprise.

“It’s how I died!” Patton added cheerily.

“Huh,” Roman replied with a puzzled frown. He cleared his throat. “Well, good luck.”

“Thank you!” Patton said. He looked down at Mrs. Snuffles as well, “Thank you, too.”

She gave him a final, curt meow, and rubbed up to his legs, pushing his feet against the door. He laughed, turned to the others waiting for him, and they nodded. Roman opened the door, and gestured them in.

Patton didn’t know what he had expected God’s office to look like, but it was decidedly not what he found upon entering that door. He had expected something resembling the grand hallway leading up to it: golden statues, velvet carpet, ivory columns. And, sure, that seemed to be the basis of the office; it was everything that was added on that was surprising. The bookshelves were stacked exclusively with trashy magazines, the walls were covered in posters of boy bands and movie stars, and a side-room had been renovated into what appeared to be a personal Starbucks. Finally, in the center of it all, sitting on the sofa and watching TV, was:

“...God?” Patton asked unsurely.

The man--(should Patton call Him that?)--eyed the group from behind a pair of sunglasses. He didn’t bother to turn the TV off as He casually greeted, “Hey, babes! What’s up?”

“Um,” Patton glanced at his friends for help, but they were clearly just as lost as him. Well, not Janus; Janus seemed unbothered. This provided Patton some sense of comfort, enough for him to continue, “We wanted to ask about--”

“Hold that thought, hun,” God held up a finger. “Roman!”

Roman walked in, almost reluctantly, at the call. “Yes?”

“Be a peach and mute the TV, would you?” God asked, throwing His PA the remote. Roman caught it as if with practice, and pressed the mute button with a wry expression.

“Thanks, love you!” God said, then turned back to Patton. “What were we talking about?”

“Well--”

God tried to sip the frappe in His drink-holder, only to find it empty, and He interrupted again to say, “Roman, coffee alert! Mama needs His caffeine!”

Roman bit his lip, presumably to stop himself from letting out a sigh. When he walked to the Starbucks corner, he seemed to purposefully avoid eye contact with the group. Patton glanced at his friends, and found Virgil suppressing an amused grin, and Janus not bothering to suppress his.

“We wanted to ask about the end of the world,” Patton finally said.

God’s brow furrowed slightly. “End of the world? Oh! OH, that is coming up, isn’t it? When’s that again, Ro?”

Roman, from behind the coffee maker, replied, “7 and a half days.”

“Oo, fun!” God gasped, “That’s so soon! I totally forgot that was so soon, isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy,” Roman agreed dryly, handing Him a new venti frappe.

“Right,” Patton said, almost at a loss, “So, you… want the world to end?”

God shrugged, using one finger to play with his coffee straw as he spoke. “It was in my plan, wasn’t it? Plus, I mean, y’know… Earth’s really, like, ‘ew’ right now, right? Like, sure, I COULD save it, and then I’d let the humans keep doing their little thing, but I don’t want that; they’re mostly messes. I wanna make… I dunno a new place with, like, more Idris Elba’s.”

“And you’re willing to kill the real Idris Elba for that?” Janus cut in. God looked him up and down critically, before asking,

“Hey, do I know you from something?”

“No,” Janus replied quickly, “Certainly not from Eden, and even if I was there, I wasn’t the snake. I’m a real angel, hush.”

Patton turned to him in confusion, but God just shrugged again, and said, “K, whatever. Anyway, yeah, what’d you gals wanna know about Earth again?”

“Um, we wanted you to, maybe… not… blow it up?” Patton asked.

“Hmm,” God hummed, “Thanks, but no thanks! Earth is gross, I’m just so over it, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Patton replied without thinking, unable to hide the frustration in his voice anymore, “If Earth’s messed up, all the more reason to be there for your children, and not just kill everything. It’s wrong.”

There was a ‘thunk’ against the floor, and Patton looked to see that Roman had dropped the old coffee cup he had been carrying to the trash. Logan and Virgil were staring at Patton with equally stricken expressions, and Janus’s face was unreadable. He suddenly realized what he had said. He then realized how many angels had fallen for saying much less.

God stood up slowly. He approached Patton until He was uncomfortably close.

“Awe,” He pouted, “babe, I know it’ll be sad, but how am I supposed to change it now? It’s in the plan, hun. I’m sure you understand.” He patted his cheek once condescendingly--a touch that carried the pleasant warmth of a sunbeam--before He stepped back and took a long sip of His coffee. Patton didn’t break eye contact the whole time.

“I have an idea,” Patton said in a newly sunny tone--the type of overly kind, conversational tone that should be feared-- “How about a bet?”

“Are you for real?” God gaped at the continued insolence, somewhere between disbelief and delight. In the end, delight--or at least novelty--won. “Deal with the Devil is out, deal with God is in; OK, I’m into it!”

“You say it’s too hard to save Earth now? Impossible, even?” Patton asked challengingly. He heard a quiet gasp of realization from Logan, and when he glanced behind himself, he noticed Janus was smiling, as if impressed. This gave him enough confidence to continue, “Impossible, like it would be impossible for a few random angels to answer an unanswerable prayer?”

“Sweetie, I don’t know what you’re saying, but I love the way you’re saying it,” God waved His hand appreciatively.

Patton took Logan’s tablet from his hands. He scrolled to find the ‘Discarded Prayers: Impossible’ file. He held it out to God for proof as he concluded, “If we can answer one of these prayers before the end of the world, surely you can stop it from ending.”

“THAT’S your plan?! Pat, we can’t complete the possible prayers half the time,” Virgil exclaimed. He buried his face in his hands. “Earth’s dead.”

God, however, let out a dreamy sigh, holding one hand against His chest. Patton wasn’t sure if he was meant to feel like the ambitious hero or the prize dog at a pet show. “You know, I should say no…” God bit his lip with the same expression a suburban mother might have when she was about to cheat on her juice cleanse, “...but I never could resist a little twist! Ok, shake on it!”

God extended His hand, and Patton took it without hesitation.

“I, God, proclaim: Earth will not be destroyed next week if, and only if, an impossible prayer is answered.” As He spoke, His palm began to glow white, such that Patton had to look away for fear of being blinded. If God’s touch had been a sunbeam previously, it was now the whole sun, and Patton almost cried out from the burning heat. Technically, he didn’t have skin in the same way he did when he was alive, but he swore he felt it melting off in that grip.

Yet when God pulled away, there was no extra light in the room, no damage to his hand.

God smiled innocently. “Ok! Cute! So, what prayer you gonna choose?”

Huh. Patton hadn’t thought that far ahead. Maybe Virgil’s concern wasn’t so unwarranted. He looked down at the tablet he was still holding. His eyes scanned past several prayers that were beyond impossible--fix capitalism, no more YouTube ads, fix global warming, no more incels--until his eyes caught on just the thing. An unabashed grin overtook Patton’s face in realization,

“Oh, I know exactly what prayer we’re doing.”

•••

“Well, have a good night!”

Nico turned his back on the cute mall man after he said it, and he had to push down the urge to glance back a final time. He tried not to believe in true love—it was at best unlikely, and at worst an extremely problematic trope—but he was a writer, and a daydreamer, and when he spotted the man a few tables down at the food court… he just knew.

Ok, he didn’t know, there was no way to know that kind of thing—but he did want. He did hope. And he did, in a move that was unprecedented for him, pray:

Please, if anyone’s up there: I know it’s silly, but I want this so badly. And I know it’s basically impossible at this point but, maybe… if we meet again... let this somehow work out?

#nicomas #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #what should my tag for this be #give up on a miracle #lucy.fic #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remy sanders #ts remy #ts logan #ts remus #ts janus #ts patton #ts virgil

31 notes · View notes

justanotherblonde · 3 years ago

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cuz blonde is a total data nerd... here ya go!

I posted 733 times in 2021

88 posts created (12%)

645 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.3 posts.

I added 740 tags in 2021

#sasori - 215 posts

#deidara - 160 posts

#sasodei - 123 posts

#justanotherblonde - 62 posts

#sasori mini bang 2021 - 41 posts

#konan - 30 posts

#itachi - 29 posts

#sasori mini bang - 28 posts

#sethmmd - 28 posts

#akatsuki - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#instead i have 7 weeks to cram as much about education policies in east asia as i can into my head then artfully create some sort of essay

My Top Posts in 2021

i find it kinda weird that the ItaDei stuff is so popular??? but cool, i guess!! ItaDei and Deidara's origin stories seem to be the Tumblr crowd-pleasers... i've chopped out the full text of story posts, so if you want to read them, click the links...

blonde presents: a random cracked ItaDei thingy

i dunno, this scene popped into my head a while back when i was writing this ItaDei kiss, and it won’t leave me alone. thought i’d share it...

tags and such: Itachi/Deidara, canon-verse, crack-fic, Akatsuki, swearing (lol always), implied KakuHida, everyone is sassy, for some reason i used present tense instead of past tense?, actually a rather soft moment~

read and show me some love if you are so inclined~

26 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 14:17:39 GMT

HERE IT IS, MY LOVES

All Things Must End (AO3)

my take on how Deidara stole his kinjutsu from Iwagakure, featuring an OC that i've grown very fond of, Kōseki-sensei. additional tags and warnings below the cut.

Summary:

"One day I’m gonna fly away from this dark fucking pile of fucking rocks. I’ll live in the sunshine and do what I want..."

Kōseki-sensei had taught Deidara to see the beauty in every moment and understand that all things, good or bad, would eventually pass, depart, leave, disappear, break, end.

Was this where his dream ended? He ground his teeth. It couldn’t be. He just had to work harder. He would prove himself worthy of Kōseki-sensei’s kinjutsu. Whatever it took.

Rating: Mature (for swearing and violence)

Warnings: Major Character Death

Relationships: Deidara (Naruto) & Original Character(s) Characters: Deidara (Naruto), Original Characters, Original Non-Binary Character

Additional Tags: Canon Universe, Original Character(s), Deidara-centric, Deidara "origin story", Deidara is 12, but he swears like a fucking sailor, Non-binary OC(s), Iwa OCs, Kumo OCs, Canon-Typical Violence, Mild Gore, Blood and Injury, Caves, Rock-climbing, Original Character Death(s), won’t claim it’s one-hundred-percent canon-compliant but i’d like to think it works

29 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 15:41:34 GMT

Hallo there! Can I have a ItaDei #3 A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond? Would that be possible?

yayy ItaDei!!!

i'd like to apologize to the anon who asked for a SasoDei #3 before this ItaDei #3 request...... fear not, friend, it's coming! i'm trying to balance writing and Master's and my job right now, so i gotta work where the inspiration is... and the plot for this breathy ItaDei demand came to me before the SasoDei one... sorry 🥺

anyway, if you want some canon-verse ItaDei, read on!

rating: Mature

tags: canon-verse, kissin'! (obviously), but first fist fights, fighting, brief mention of SasoDei feelings... and ItaDei confessions!

30 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 19:06:33 GMT

SASORI MINI-BANG 2021 - DAY 2

Summer / Desert Flowers / Sunrise

@sasori-mini-bang

Watercolored, Chapter 1: Desert Flowers (AO3)

modern AU, artist AU, Sasori/Sai, SMUT and DRAMA (more drama coming in chapter 2 tho)

also!! check out this amazing line-drawing of my boys by @uintuva !! posted with permission.

30 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 05:33:30 GMT

happy birthday, deidara!

to celebrate my fav blond bombshell’s birthday, i WANTED to have this really cool origin story piece finished. but i ran out of time. still, i’d like to share what i’ve got so far! i’m still playing around with this story, so let me know what you think, suggestions, what you want more of... :)

story is below the cut because Deidara is a VERY SWEARY twelve-year-old.

tag-type things: canon-verse, introducing an OC sensei, heavy swearing (lol), caving, caves, rock-climbing, creepy crawlies

word count: 1653

it’s still untitled!!

42 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 14:49:39 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #justanotherblonde #sasori #deidara #itachi #sasodei posts are oddly missing from my top five???#itadei #sasosai #i feel like the story this year in review tells is that my biggest achievement of 2021 was finishing the deidara origin story...

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celmation-gibson · 5 years ago

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Hello, Well 2018 was a Great time for Cinemas, and what a Year for such Creature Features such as the ones I will be reviewing here, and now may I present to you some reviews of the movies that I've observed on the Big Screen that year.

Pacific Rim: Uprising – My First movie to see in Theaters since I couldn’t find a Perfect time to see Aardman’s ‘Early Man’, but I’m pretty sure this Year would be a Monster of a Movie experience in the Cinemas. Since I’ve have and Watched the First film on DVD, I would think that I should enjoy its Sequel that has been made, and even though Mr. Guillermo Del Toro (the first film’s Director) didn’t direct this Film, he Helped Produce it as well. And as I said before, I do Love a Good Giant monster film, and this film was always filled with Suspense, Action, & Drama, and I would Fear that there won’t be any Hope left if those Giant Monsters win. Also it breaks my Heart wide Open to see a Character who I say and Liked in the First film died in this one. And that one Villainous Character is sure a Wicked Dick (*pardon my Language*) about this one being Possessed by a Kaiju Masterminded Brain. And surprising how that Rouge Jaeger was controlled by a Kaiju Brain, Hit him once & he’ll hit you back Twice as Hard. But I’m glad the heroes win in this Battle, and it took near the Tail end of the Film for the Movie’s Title to appear, unlike the First one where you wait 15-20 minutes for the Main Title to appear in a longest prologue, but for Me, I would almost stick with the Original Film.

Rampage – As I said before, I do Love a Good Giant monster Movie, and this is one of them. And it was a God-Epic monster Mash, even had some hilarious Moments, like when George flips the Bird, and I was like “Did that Primate just flip a Bird?”, though I do know another Ape who can Flip a Bird. And not to mention that the movie is actually based off an Old Arcade game of the same name, and if you Look very closely in the Office Building of Energyne, there are Arcade Cabinets of the Original ‘Rampage’ game, and ‘Rampage: World Tour(?), though I’m not quite sure what the other one is. And the monsters are Hardcore Badass, I don’t know which one(s) are Great (though I pick all of them), and for Bonus, there was another Creature in the Beginning of this Film that was a Rat Test subject. And the Sequence where they hunt the Giant Wolf Down was Awesome and it gave me Goosebumps completely. Plus some Good Elements from the Game is Included as Well, such as Eating People, Tearing down a Building from top to bottom, the military being involved, and Destruction of the monsters themselves. Even when me and my Dad were watching it in the Theaters, and when Dad watched the Commercials for the Film, one of his Favorite Quotes from the movie was “And of course the Wolf Flies”, LOL! And the Lizard Monster in the Film was so Massive & a “Pain in the Ass”, there was no End in that Creature, even when you plant an Explosion in his Ears & throw Missiles at him, he gets back up again, and I thought the Impalement on George would have Killed him Completely, but it was just thru his Shoulders and Thank goodness not the Heart Area or Between the Chests. But still, this film was an Epic Fun Thrillride, the characters are Great & Fun-filled, and I guaranteed this Year would be a Monster Movie Experience in the Theaters.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Well, me and my Dad seen the first 'Jurassic World' in Theaters back in 2015, so we figured since we love Dinosaur movies, we go this this latest update, and to our Surprise, Original Jurassic Park star Mr. Jeff Goldblum (the big Chill, the Fly(1986)) will be starring in Guest Role, and it was a Surprise seeing him in a Honda(?) commercial to promote the Film. And That my Foodtown was already selling products, even sodas & Chips in Promoting the Features, and it featured some of my Favorite Dinosaurs in the Film such as the Classic T-Rex, and boy was that Opening Scene in the Pouring Rain so Intense, the Surviving Raptor of the Original JW film Blue, who is one of my Favorite 'Good Guy' Raptors, the Comical Dino Hard-head Stiggy, who I find entertaining & Funny in the Movie, and My Favorite Villainous Dinosaur, the IndoRaptor, and if you think the Indomenous Rex in 'Jurassic World' was Terrifying, this IndoRaptor is one Badass Creep, even when she(?) smiles while playing Dead while one of the Soldier guys was about to Chip a Tooth off her, kinda gives it like a Cartoon-y feel to it like the minor ones in 'the Adventures of Pinocchio'(1996). And that Epic moment where the Island was in Volcanic Eruption was so Frantic, even one scene in the Film was shot in One single Lengthy shot during those Round Vehicle Thingies, an I thought the Part where one of the Brachiosaurus was Left behind on the Island while Massive smoke was covering him was the most Disturbed sequences in the Film. Well i certainly enjoyed the film, while my Daddy didn't, cuz he thought there wasn't much action or creature footage in the film, as he thought there was more of some "Love Stories" being put into it, that's why he might like 'Rampage' more, where they showed some monsters earlier in the film, but you might say that some Critics praised Pratt's and Howard's performance, Bayona's direction, the visuals, Michael Giacchino's score and the "surprisingly dark moments", while others suggested the series had run its course, criticizing the screenplay and lack of innovation.

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation - Well, Mr. Genndy Tartakovsky Never Fails to impress us with this Three-times Charmer, and how Lucky was I to reserve a Seating to see this on my Birthday of 2018, after a Good Morning at the Meadowlands flea Market, and a goof Lunch at Taco Bell, I hit the Theaters with my Dad, and the Movie was Fantastic, and since Mr. Genndy Tartakovsky Co-written this Film (along with one of the 'Austin Powers' writer), I know what some Moments in the Film, there are certain scenes that are free of Dialogue, just like the ones in 'Samurai Jack'. And it was a-bit strange to see a Character from one the 'Hotel Transylvania' shorts that I've never seen, and that short was "Puppy", but in order to watch the short (even for myself), I have to watch that Gross-out 'Emoji movie' for it. But for HT3, the Climatic part of the DJ Battle with Professor Van Helsing (Drac's old Nemesis, and was surprise to see him still Alive in Machine parts) & the Kraken was Awesome, I didn't remember the first Official song played, but I do know the second being 'Don't Worry, be Happy', and the Final one was none other than the 'Macarena' and supposedly it's the Extended River remix version of the song which I have on my I-Tunes and have no regret in Purchasing it, along with Daft Punk's 'One More Time'. So I like the Film and can't wait to get it for Christmas, along with 'Rampage' this Year. And I even heard that Genndy will be working more at SPA where he will be set to Direct an R-rated animated feature titled 'Fixed', and an Adventure Film named 'Black Knight'.

Smallfoot - When I saw some Preview ads on CartoonBrew, I thought this looks kinda Weird and thought I'd just pass on it, but after seeing some TV Ads for the film, and seeing how interesting it looks, I thought I'd give it a shot, and kinda find the movie very Interesting if you wanna feel Young at Heart, and was Lucky to see it on Columbus Day, the only Actor(s) in the Cast i know were comedian Danny Devito & Basketball superstar Lebron James, and to my surprise seeing the closing credit of the film that Cartoonist Justin Roiland voiced in the film as well as one of the Yeti folks in the Kingdom, and I only know the names Common & Gina Rodriguez starring in the film. And the Music and songs in the Film are Nice, and I like how some Advance the Characters or Advance the plot, and it was Hilarious hearing one Song being sung in the tune of Queen/David Bowie's 'Under Pressure', and since Common is a Rapper in real-life, he did a Good Singing on when the Stonekeeper himself tells Migo that Humans & Yetis were Enemies in the old ages. And the other reasone I like watching this film is that I'm also Fascinated with Yetis and Drawing them, as you can see from my old 'YETI & other Stories' story in my Gallery, and one of my Yeti inspirations was the old Unfinished/soon-to-be-Finished David Allen film 'the Primevals'. And don't forget that the SF film was inspired by a book called 'Yeti Tracks', which is a good thing that some Films were based on Books such as 'Mr. Popper's Penguins', 'Home', & 'the Adventures of Pinocchio(1996)'. And I like how the Film was promoted "from the Studio who brought you 'Looney Tunes'" in which case, it is made by Warner Bros., and also the people who worked on 'Storks', and this film now made me think of two Environmental Animated films from 20th century Fox such as 'Ferngully: the Last Rainforest' & 'Once upon a Forest'.

Halloween(2018) - I never even heard that the Original 1978 classic is getting a Remake, although It may not look like a remake, but a True sequel to the Original film, and avoiding stuff on what happened in 'Halloween II(1981)', 'Halloween 4 -Curse', & 'H20'. And I read that the original star Ms. Jamie Lee Curtis will be in this Film, as well as being executive producer for the feature along with the Original 1978 Film's Director Mr. John Carpenter, as in they want to make it look Perfect as the original Monsterpiece, and they did succeed in it in Keeping the Spirit & Atmosphere like the 1978 movie. And I gotta say, Micheal Myers is one 'Pain-in-the-Ass' monster in this Film, like he always is in the original series, and I feel sorry for the People who got killed by that Creep, the Podcasters, the Boy who was equipped with a Gun along with his daddy, and a Woman who Micheal murdered and left a Baby behind. And an amazing thing my dad found in a Twist of Story is when Micheal got hit by the Sheriff, the Sheriff and the Late Dr. Loomis' student professor went out to investigate and kill Micheal, only for the Sheriff to be killed by the Professor, and when the Professor dude wore Micheal's mask, my dad thought that he was gonna be the New Micheal Myers, but Micheal resurfaced and soon killed the Professor afterwards. And one part in the Film which left the Audience in an applause is a Sequence that was based off the Original film, when Micheal attacked Laurie and pushed her off the Balcony, he saw her Body Lying there, but when Micheal turned away and looked back again, she was gone, just like what happened in the 1978's film ending. even after watching this film with my dad, he still had alot of Questions need to be Answered about some parts in the film, and I wish they showed more of the Ending with Micheal being Burned alive in the Cellar. And this may be one Creepy Classic that i might never watch again, but I just stick with the original Masterpiece of Fright & Shock.

the Grinch - Man, I am seeing alot of Good films in 2018, and this one may be the Last that interest me that Year, and this one was an Adaption of Dr. Suess' Classic Holiday Tale, 'How the Grinch stole Christmas', or simply titled 'the Grinch'. And seeing how Interesting it looks after seeing some Previews and TV Ads, especially that part where the Grinch whispers to Max and Fred "This is the Loudest Snow I've ever heard in my Life", I've decided to give it a Go, and hoping to see if it's Fascinating like the Original 1966 Animated Classic and more Better than the 2000 Live-Action Jim Carrey one, and it was. How lucky i was to see this movie on a Day off afternoon on a Wednesday, and I thought i would be the only one seeing the Film in Theaters, but it was also some Girls and their Parents & Guardians, possibly had a Half a day off. But for the Film, I Loved how the Narrator of the Film narrates in Rhyme, like the Original Dr. Suess books, and how the Writers improvised the Story using the same Lines in the Books, and It had a Great choices in Christmas soundtrack, especially in the part with Grinch Wake-up Radio with some Familiar tunes I know and Cherished. And it was a Great Film produced by the Wonders of Illumination, the Wizards behind 'Despicable me', 'the Secret Life of Pets', & 'Sing', plus they did another Dr. Sues adaption such as 'the Lorax', even some of the character designs in the film made me think of the Designs from Disney features such as 'Wreck-It Ralph' & 'Monster University'. And some of the Voice Cast in the film I know of was Keenan Thompson of 'All That' & 'Keenan & Kel' voicing Bricklebaum, a jolly citizen of Whoville, and Angela Lansbury as the Whoville's Mayor, and how Surprised/Not Surprised to hear another Familiar Voice in the Film playing one of Cindy Lou's Friends, who that boy is none other than Mr. Sam Lavagnino, the Voice of Baby Grizz in 'We Bare Bears' & Pepper and Alien King in 'Summer Camp Island'. And I'd thought Ms. Cindy Lou Who would have a cute design just like the one in the 1966 Classic, and she did have a Cuter design in this Film when it comes to the Creative Artists of Illumination. And Yet, this has become another Holiday Classic, and when I told my Mother how much Fun it is, she might be hoping to get the Film on DVD for my Niece to Enjoy.

There was a Movie called 'the Meg', though I may have interest to see that, but I wasn't sure how much interested I will be with the Whole thing. And sorry if I didn't felt like seeing 'Ralph breaks the Internet' or 'Into the Spider-Verse', I go for the Obscure & Non-Disney taste in the Cinemas as of now.

#2018 #best of #movies #smallfoot #the grinch #pacific rim uprising #rampage #jurassic world fallen kingdom #hotel transylvania 3 #Halloween #george #reviews #cindy lou who #indoraptor #my artwork #drawing

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queenismykween · 5 years ago

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Watched Toy Story 4 again and made a super long list of moments that I noticed and loved. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! And hey, look, another cute picture of Woody holding Forky.

(Tom Holland and Chris Pratt in a movie together!? Sign me up! *after seeing trailer for Onward*)

The orchestra at the beginning with the castle! The whole score was nostalgic!

Nine years ago… (has it been that long?)

Barbie. (It was good to see her, lol.)

Operation Pull Toy! (Jinx between Woody and Bo. All the times they talk in sync is adorable and I had to list it.)

Bo pulling on Woody’s hat.

Bo: Billy! Goat! Gruff! Woody: You never told me they had names. Bo: “You never asked.”

Barrel of monkeys (callback to first movie) on Bo’s staff.

Woody thinking about getting in box with Bo (WHICH HAPPENS AT THE END OF THE MOVIE)

You’ve Got A Friend In Me. (Awww)

Andy’s new look! What a precious bean!

Toy Story 3 scene with Bonnie 😭 in the flashback

Bonnie’s name under Woody’s boot

(Oh, Woody, you’re okay to be a leader, even though Dolly took over)

Buzz’s concern for Woody because Woody hasn’t been chosen for playtime for 3 days now.

Sheriff Jessie

Chair: Your first dust bunny! What are you going to call him? *Thumper. Tumbleweed.*

Dolly: Can’t you see I’m threatening everybody?

(Dolly, Woody cares about Bonnie too!)

(watching Bonnie cry cuz she doesn’t want to go to kindergarten.. of course Woody had to come with her!)

The two mothers!

Vivienne is a cute name.

Woody literally helps create Forky by giving Bonnie the materials! He is a dad!

Bon nie (under Forky’s popsicle feet)

Bonnie: This is Forky! Ms. Wendy: Hello Forky, I’m Miss Wendy. (I love it when teachers do that for their students)

Bonnie: I finished Kindergarten! (just after orientation, lol)

Bonnie’s love for Forky is my love for him.

Forky freaking out in the backpack. Both of them freaking out, actually.

Woody: Bonnie made a friend in class. Rex: Aw, that’s nice, she’s making friends already! Woody: No, she literally made a friend.

Forky: Trash?

Everyone: Hello, hi! Forky: Ah! *falls over and his eye pops out and Woody fixes it for him*

Forky kept running to the trash and Woody kept grabbing him.

The way Woody holds Forky! Like he’s a baby!

Woody: She had the biggest smile on her face when she played with Forky! *talking about Forky when he watched Bonnie play with him* #emotional support spork)

Woody: We gotta protect him! *Forky yeets himself in the trash*

Babysit him!

Woody kept throwing him on the bed continually every time he jumps in the trash. Woody cuddling against Bonnie.

Forky asleep with a paper on top of him in the trash.

Buzz: He’s quite a handful!

Woody grabbing Forky and freezing with him while Bonnie plays with them.

Tossing the trash can out of the RV.

Forky kept running from Woody.

Woody using his pull string as a lasso to grab Forky.

Randy Newman song!

Buzz noticing how tired Woody is and asking if he’s okay. Want me to take the next watch?

Buzz: The little voice inside me? Who do you think it is? Your inner voice advises you? *pushes button on himself*

Forky: I am not a toy. I’m a spork! I was made for soup, salad, and maybe even chili and then the trash. I’m litter! FREEDOM!! *flies out the window*

Woody: *out of the RV* Forky, where are you!? Forky: *face first in the ground*

The way Forky waddles, falls, then starts waddling again. Woody drags him on the road.

Forky: Carry me? Woody: No.

Woody: Happy memories for the rest of her life! Forky: Huh, what?

Fixing his pipe cleaner hand.

Forky: Wasn’t that annoying!? Woody: Thank you!! *about Buzz when talking about events from the first movie*

Forky: Useless? Just like me! Trash!

Forky: You mean she thinks I’m warm and cozy and squishy?

Forky: I’m Bonnie’s trash!

The way Woody holds Forky like a baby. (The sneaky music from Toy Story 2. I heard it!)

Forky running across the road to get to Bonnie.

Woody recognizing Bo’s lamp

Forky: Friend? Woody: A friend is like you and me! Forky: Trash? Woody: Yeah? #friendship goals

Second Chance Antiques. I finally get the name.

Forky shouting Bo’s name.B B B B B Bo!

*when Woody and Forky are hiding and Benson is pushing the carriage* Forky: Is that Bo? *screams when Benson turns his head*

Woody: This is Forky! Forky: I’m trash!

*Benson drops Woody and Forky in the carriage*

Forky: *in the carriage* Mh, what service.

Woody made in the 50’s. Cool!

Forky: Wow, you need to fix that! *about Gabby’s voice box*

Forky’s oblivious smile as the dolls surround them.

Gabby: Stop him, please. *haha, same*

Woody: Forky, we gotta get outta here! *holding his pipe cleaner arms as he runs away*

Old Lady: Nobody buys the toys anyway. *wink* (I think that’s true. All those creepy dolls..)

Jessie: Maybe we should’ve gone with the fork. Buzz: The spoon is safer. *cut to Bonnie holding a spoon*

Bonnie: There’s only one Forky! yep

Dad: Let’s go look outside. Maybe he fell on the ground.

Buzz: We should’ve guarded the utensil.

Buzz trying to assume being the leader.

What would Woody do?

Buzz flying!! Then falling with style on the ground.

Woody on the swing as Harmony pushes him. So cute.

The girl holding Bo, picks up Woody and ahhhh! My heart!

Woody and Bo trying to hug but it’s awkward.

More jinxing!

Woody: Well if it isn’t.. Bobby, Gus, Lefty?

The grape soda cap the sheep found! Clearly from Up!

Bo: Don’t stare. Giggle McDimples: I’m totally staring!

(He’s a cop! *Giggle about Woody*)

The Carls, the high fives and the one in white not getting a high five!

Carl: Way to beat the odds, soldier!

*Carl in white lingering as Woody doesn’t give him the high five*

Bo: You have a little girl? *when Woody tells her about Bonnie*

When Woody tells the story of Bo and her lamp in Molly’s room. Oh, Woody! My heart!

The twirl hug!

Forky: When’s Woody coming back? *soon Forky*

Gabby: It’s tea time! Forky: Woo hoo! What’s tea time?

Forky: *helping Gabby with her tea skills* Little higher, stick out your pinky. *teach me, Forky*

Forky’s hand on top of Gabby trying to comfort her, then derp.

Gabby puling Forky in her lap.

Forky: I’ve known Woody my whole life! 2 days!

Ducky: In a galaxy far far away!

Buzz: *putting his helmet on and Duckys foot getting stuck*

Bo and her arm and screaming with Woody as he accidentally yanks it off.

Woody trying to grab Bo when she uses the sticky hand.

The lovesick look on Woody’s face.

(The ship it truck. We all drive it)

Buzz: Good work, inner voice!

Bo: Buzz? *as Woody talks about who’s left in the gang*

Buzz: Moving buddies! Woody, it’s Bo Peep!

Buzz’s button getting spammed as they roll down the roof. (probably a callback to Toy Story 2 when Zurg repeatedly spams the other Buzz’s button. Rex: But Buzz is in peril! *B B B Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!)

Rex: The panic is attacking me!

Buttercup: We could frame dad for a crime and get him in jail!

Bonnie: Can we leave a note for Forky? *awww*

Jessie: *after busting the tire with a nail* If you get my point! (point! Probably from Toy Story 3)

Pixar ball from upper view when Bo and the gang get in the shop.

Bunny: Who will Bonnie love more? Say me.

Bunny: All six eyes looking in my soul. *as they wander around the store*

*Your Forky* *to Woody*

Buzz: We can handle a cat.

Bunny and Ducky: Is that how we look in the inside? So much.. Fluff.

Forky trying to brush Gabby’s hair with the wrong side of the brush.

Forky: Such lovely hair.

Woody holding the phone with that look on his face. *he’s frozen there as a lady looks around*

*scene from the trailer with Ducky and Bunny* Buzz: We’re not doing that!

*she goes home* Giggle: Where is this going!? (She’s in bed and.. *screaming*)

Buzz: How do we get that key?

Forky: Woody’s back!? (Forky’s so excited.)

Tin man! Remember him from the Pixar Shorts or the brief moment in Toy Story 2 when Ham is clicking through the channels really quickly?

The bisexual lighting in the room in the “club” (if you want to think of it that way.)

Duke Caboom: Billy, Goat, Gruff? They’re my girls! *Woody rolls his eyes*

Duke Caboom: That toy sounds like a complete idiot! *about Woody*

Duke Caboom: It’s a commercial! It’s not real!

Duke Caboom: Be who I am right now. (really profound)

Duke: Yes I Canada!

Woody: How did you get the key? *flashback to Buzz and the others as they get the key, where the old lady places the key right in front of them* Buzz: It was very difficult!

Woody: You can’t teach this old toy new tricks.

Woody: I saw your lamp in the window and I thought you might be inside.

All the lamps and chandeliers were pretty.

Forky giggling which leads to Woody finding him in the box.

Bo: Wait, it’s an actual fork? B B B B Bo?

Bunny: I’m too cute to die!

Woody holding Forky like a weapon.

*Forky crying for help* Woody!

Shh, it’s okay. *Duke to his bike*

Woody’s determination to get Forky.

Woody: Because it’s all I have left to do! I don’t have anything else. (that made me cry)

Woody: It’s called loyalty.

Ducky: You’re crazy. *to Woody after they fight*

Woody: I don’t leave toys behind. Buzz: And he left me behind

Buzz didn’t want Woody to go back in the store.

Woody using the red pencil as a weapon.

Woody: I’m not leaving without Forky.

Gabby: Being there for a child is the most noble thing a toy can do. Proudly watching him grow up. *about Bonnie to Woody* Helping her when she needs it most. All I want is a chance, for just one of those moments. I’d give anything to be loved the way you have. Woody: Just leave me Forky.

Buzz: Bonnie will realize her backpack’s missing. Bonnie: Nope!

Buzz: *after spamming his button and is about to be put away* Your backpack’s in the antique store, let’s go! (Haha, wonderful!)

Bo: *about Woody’s determination/loyalty* You gotta love him for it.

Bo to Bunny and Ducky: We’re going back. We just got here!

(Woody’s voice box being removed! So significant to me!)

Gabby: My little utensil.

Forky: Goodbye Benson! He is terrifying!

Forky being happy for Gabby as the moment between her and Harmony is about to happen.

Forky: No no, Woody look! It’s happening! *after Gabby is thrown in the box* Forky: Oh, I’m gonna cry.

Forky and Woody being sad when Gabby is rejected.

Forky: What is a merry go round? Woody: It’s the spinning ride with horses and lights. Forky: You mean a carousel?

Woody taking his hat off in sympathy for Gabby.

Bo and Gabby having a sense of understanding despite once being enemies.

Forky upside down in Bonnie’s hand.

Forky: He said to meet us at the carousel! The spinning ride with lights and horses! Woody told me so!

The baby carriage knocked over and Benson was inside. The lady who found him screamed, lol

The whole GPS thing. (Like driving the pizza planet truck from Toy Story 2!)

Duke smacking in the target face first.

The gang taking over the RV.’

The little girl who’s lost, poor thing. She was so cute.

*as Mrs. Potato Head and Trixie mess with the wires* Cop: Pull over! Bonnie’s Dad: I can’t, this is a rental!

Lost Girl: *to Gabby* Are you lost too? I’ll help you. Can you help us? *to the security guard*

The female security guards helping to get the family together.

The happiness of reuniting a girl with a toy.

Three police cars following the RV.

Bonnie asleep the whole time while the RV is controlled by the toys.

Buttercup: Dad’s totally going to jail! Forky spamming the lock button.

*the kiss could’ve happened with the Ferris wheel in the background! But I’ll take a hug*

The callback to the scene under the car in the box between Bo and Woody at this moment.

Buzz: *as Woody walks up to him sadly after leaving Bo* She’ll be okay. *pause* Bonnie will be okay. (BUZZ!! How he understands Woody is so admirable!)

Buzz: Listen to your inner voice.

My heart!! That final shot with the original gang..

Woody giving Jessie his badge.

Everyone hugging Woody and then Woody and Buzz hugging. And then Forky hugging Woody. It killed me inside. (I’m crying.)

The way Woody chases after Bo on top of the carousel.

Forky: Does this mean Woody’s a lost toy? Buzz: He’s not lost anymore.

Buzz: To infinity.. Woody: And beyond. *last lines of the movie*

The end credits. (comes in four parts.) Bo and Woody rigging the ride so all the toys are won. Plush Rush. Heck yes.

Duke: Do you really have laser eyes? Bunny: Yeah. Duke: Woah.

Buzz: How was present and explain!? *to Jessie when she returns from 1st Grade with Bonnie* Hamm: You mean show and tell?

Forky falling in love with the knife at first sight. The whole thing with Jessie introducing Knifey to the gang was like the beginning of the movie with Woody and Forky.

Forky: Unique, beautiful toys. Knifey: How am I alive? Forky: I don’t know.

(Combat Carl were voiced by an actual Carl.

And those are most of the moments that I personally liked in chronological order!

I’ve noticed that a lot of people were more satisfied with Toy Story 3 as the conclusion to the movies, but I loved what this movie had to offer.

I didn’t mind Buzz being the comic relief in the movie, nor did I mind Ducky and Bunny. I wasn’t looking forward to Ducky and Bunny entirely because of the trailers, but I enjoyed them.

To me, there was the matter of Dolly treating Woody a bit differently when he tries to handle the toys and when he does sneak off in Bonnie’s backpack to kindergarten with Bonnie. She assumes the role of leader and is a tad bit annoying to me. But it was short-lived, so I’m okay.

Another moment is when Bo gets upset with Woody after he screws up the mission. it was a minor setback, and I think she overreacted. Same with the fight as everyone leaves Woody behind to fend for himself as he goes back to the antique shop. But those were the only things, so overall, this movie is one of my favorites and I’d love to see it again! Go ahead and judge these moments for yourself. Maybe we’ll have different opinions and views but it’s okay. Everyone’s opinion is valid.

#Toy Story 4 #Forky #Woody Pride #Buzz Lightyear #Bo Peep #Giggle McDimples #Duke Caboom #Ducky and Bunny #Bonnie #Buttercup #Dolly #Original Toy Story Gang #My Personal List #SPOILERS #I want a spork!

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years ago

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Can you add to the spring break one shots and possibly make it a serious?cuz I’m in love with it🥰🥰🥰

Title: Spring Break pt. 3

A/N: I hope this everything you wanted @waywardxlexieleahy. There will be a pt. 4 and that will be the end. I think pt. 4 maybe more serious for you!

Warnings; Douchebag ex, language, and mention of smut

The only sounds that could be heard were the clinking of the silverware against the plates. Your dad barely spoke a word to you, since he caught you and Dean in the middle of the act. But thankfully, Uncle Bobby was on your side, stating that you were grown and that your dad should’ve rang the doorbell first.

Tired of the awkward silence you spoke up. “So, about the case. What did the victims all have in common?”

Sam took a moment to trade looks with Dean, which was a sign of their silent conversation. You were able to catch the slight shake of Dean’s head and you were instantly irritated.

“Sam, if you don’t tell me Dean’s wrath will be the last thing you have to worry about,” you threatened while holding a knife.

His back instantly straightened, and he mumbled, “Sorry Dean.” Clearing his throat, Sam informed you that all the victims were black women around your age with a curvier frame.

It all made sense now. Dean didn’t want you to offer yourself as bait, but he was gonna have to get over it. “Perfect. Once we figure out what we’re dealing with, I’ll be the bait.””

A resounding no was echoed around the table. These damn men and their overprotective natures. Its cute when you’re not the target of their affection, but when you are its so damn annoying. So, now you gotta play hardball with them.

“Ok, this is how it’s gonna go,” you began while pointing a fork at each man. “Either I set myself as bait alone and have my chances of dying be pretty high or I have three other hunters as backup and have my chance of survival be pretty high. So, which one do you want to do?”

Not wanting to wait for their answer you continued eating as if you didn’t just give them an ultimatum. As you ate, you could feel their silent conversation going on and them reluctantly agreeing to you being bait.

“One thing feels out of place and you’re out of there. Do you understand me?” Your dad questioned you with a hard stare.

“Yes sir!”

For the rest of dinner, the conversation mainly surrounded the case. For the past couple of weeks there’s been girls going missing, but no one can find any connection to them. You weren’t surprised that you hadn’t heard more of it since it was black girls missing, but you couldn’t focus on that issue right now.

Thanks to help of everyone, you were able to clean up the kitchen quickly. While Sam, Dean, and Bobby went to their rooms, your dad decided to have a conversation with you.

“Dean Winchester, huh?”

“Idris Elba wasn’t available, so I had to settle,” you joked with your dad.

It wasn’t often that your dad laughed. The life had hardened him, but he always softened up around you. “I guess it’s better than that little bitch, Trent, which I never liked by the way. I guess I just have to get used to the fact that my baby girl is grown and she’s gonna do whatever she wants to.”

You reached up and grabbed your dad’s shoulders. “Daddy, I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will. I just didn’t picture you being or hunter or being with one. But if he makes you happy, then I’m happy.”

“He does.”

“Good. At least I know I don’t have to shoot his dick off. Good night, baby girl.”

You laughed at your dad, knowing that he wasn’t joking at all and then gave him a kiss good night.

When you entered your room, you were surprised to see Dean laying in your bed. “I thought you didn’t want to intrude in my space,” you mocked his tone from earlier.

“I think we passed that when I was deep in your pussy, sweetheart.” Dean quipped as his eyes roamed your body.

Raising your finger, you quickly dispelled any nasty ideas he was getting. “Nope, not happening Winchester! I’m not having sex while Uncle Bobby and my dad are in the same house.”

Dean rolled his eyes but gave up his mission for now. He lifted the sheets and invited you to bed. “Well, come on then. I’m ready to sleep, but I want you wrapped around my arms.”

Not wanting to make him wait, you jumped into bed with him and let the warmth of his body lull you to sleep.

---

Since, there was five of you, it was easier to divide the casework. Bobby stayed back to do research at home, Sam and Rufus questioned the families and friends of the victims, and you and Dean questioned some of the students on campus.

Currently, you were in the law building, waiting to speak to Angela, a bartender at a club one of the girls went missing at.

To pass the time you were scrolling through your phone when you heard a whiny voice call out your name. Lifting your head up, you saw it was Valerie, the “Becky” Trent left you for.

“Y/N, what are you doing here,” she asked if you two were actual friends.

Since, you were over Trent you let your petty side rest and addressed her normally.

“Just helping the FBI with the case of the missing girls. By the way, would you have any insight? Any tiny bit of information would be a big help.”

Valerie ran a perfectly manicured hand through her hair and gave me the fakest of smiles. “Oh, honey. You know me and those girls didn’t run in the same circles.”

Struggling to keep your cool, you bit your tongue from cussing her out. Through clenched teeth you had to let her know that one of the girls was a pre-law student and they must’ve had some classes together.

Thankfully, Dean showed up with Angela in tow and you began questioning. Unfortunately, she had very little info and felt that you were back at square one.

“So, I guess you got into Quantico by sleeping your way through, huh?” The voice of your ex-boyfriend asked as you finished your interview with Angela.

There’s was no time to insult him back, because you had to stop Dean from instantly clocking him.

“What the hell you just say to her?” Dean was already taller and broader than Trent, but somehow, someway he made himself seem bigger. You thought Trent would have better sense to walk back his statement, by the way Dean was stalking towards him despite you being in between the two. But nope. Dude was a dumbass and continued to egg Dean on.

Trent proceeded to speak to Dean as if he were a simpleton. “Listen, Agent. With Y/N’s size there’s no way they would let her train to be an agent. A secretary, yes. But an agent? There’s no chance in hell. So, she had to sleep her way through and judging by the way you’re reacting, I say its you.”

Automatically, you put your hands on Dean’s chest, pushing him away from Trent. His face clearly stated that he wanted to murder your douchebag ex and you almost let him do it. But then you remembered that Trent was a little bitch and would have no problem calling the cops if Dean managed to get to him.

“Trent, you’re just mad because you didn’t get into the law school you wanted and now you have to go with your fourth choice! Now I advise you to leave before I let him go and he’ll crack the other side of your ribs.” You threatened.

Trent waved you off. “Whatever, you were a sorry lay anyway. I was only dating you, since your mom is the attorney general.”

That little reveal caused you to drop any reservation for Trent’s life and you moved out of Dean’s way. Dean wasted no time and punched Trent’s lights out.

Of course, Valerie had to start screaming like it was a damn bloody murder scene, but you ignored her. Instead you crouched down to Trent to slap him awake. “I’m pretty sure you were the sorry lay and btw my mom never liked you.”

While the two of you walked away, both Valerie and Trent threatened that Dean wouldn’t be able to get away with it. But you had no worries, you were confident that Trent wouldn’t want to admit publicly getting his ass beat again, and if he even did go to the cops, just like Trent said your mom was the attorney general and she could easily get Dean off before the cops mirandize him.

“You really dated that ass wipe?” Dean asked, pointing back to the building.

“It was a lapse in judgement,” you threw out.

Suddenly, your eyes were focused on Dean’s hands which were bruised from punching Trent. You grabbed his hands in yours and inspected them. “Let’s go home and I can clean these up.”

However, Dean had other plans. “How about we beat your dad and my brother home, kick Bobby out, and you can take care of daddy in a different way?” He suggested, while trapping you between him and Baby.

In an instant your body temperature went through the roof and you felt yourself unconsciously rolling your hips against Dean. “Yes, daddy.”

Dean cracked a smile and replied “Great,” as he opened your car door. Once he got you buckled in, he jogged to the other side of the car and drove off.

Unfortunately, you and Dean couldn’t get busy, because Sam and your dad were already there. It would’ve been a struggle just to get Bobby to leave, but with all three of them there it would’ve been impossible. So, instead each of you gave an update on what you were able to find.

“The only new thing I found out about one of the vics, is that she went to some nightclub a few days before she went missing,” Bobby said, sighing out of frustration.

“What nightclub?” You, Dean, Sam, and your dad asked simultaneously.

Bobby perked up. If all of you asked the same question, then this may be the break that you all needed. Bobby was scrambling through his pile of notes, until he found the paper he was looking for. “Aha! It’s called Lotus.”

Whiplash should’ve been an automatic effect after how fast you turned your head towards Dean. Angela was a bartender at that exact club, and you knew for a fact that place had to be the common denominator.

Sam and Rufus confirmed that they heard from multiple friends that the victims were there before they disappeared.

The men were concocting a plan to go the club, but they ignore the obvious plan. You fit the description of all of the victims. “Guys, I’ll just go undercover as bait,” you blurted out.

Four heads cracked their way in your direction. Dean and your dad already looked like they were about to object, but you interrupted them. “Aht, aht. Remember last night we agreed either I go as bait alone or I go as bait with y’all as backup. So, are we gonna argue some more or are we gonna do our fucking job and kill this son of a bitch?”

Bobby walked up next to your father and gripped his shoulder. “Rufus, I reckon we listen to the girl and do our job,” he stated as he proudly stared at you.

Finally, your dad cracked a smile of his own. “Alright, let get this motherfucker.”

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whats-the-story-tc · 5 years ago

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31st of January, 2020

"The One Where Atlas Stumbles"

[LONG POST WARNING]

Another day, another flannel.

Dreaming with her the second night in a row, I really bloody hoped they hadn't changed the supervising schedule and I'd see her when I come in. And I did. What with my impending two-hour rehearsal instead of my first two classes, Debate Friend and Art Friend being outside and just plainly the sight of V, I was way too giddy. Teasing Debate Friend about me and Art Friend not having to suffer in Physics, making jokes, laughing way too loud. I noticed V turning in our direction, I think I might even have seen her watching us.

As we leave, Debate Friend to class and us to look for the always late A, we pass V and I flash her my biggest smile to greet her. Art Friend and I are back soon enough, chatting, and I tell her "Something always happens when I'm having a good morning." This time it's V passing us. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. You know that particular look on someone's face when they aren't smiling, but they still look happy? Content is the word for it, maybe. That's the look. Oh, how I wish I wasn't right about what I said...

Break between rehearsals, I'm outside chatting to my friends, most of them about to have class with the new (foreign) English teacher. Bookworm Friend is gushing, what if he's young and just out of college (either of which he isn't), cuz then she's gonna be really good at English. I automatically tell her "he's a whole ass adult and you're a minor, you can't do that" before I realise what I just said basically contradicts what I call my current love life. "Though I am one to speak" I add frowning, and everyone laughs. I really am a bloody clown, aren't I?

English with V, in the very same classroom where I spent two hours crossing my arms, yelling at and threatening one of the boys in my year (that's my character, don't be scared), and falling on my knees over and over again until we got the scene right. V is quite visibly a little worn down, still in the process of finishing what I assume was probably coffee, but powering through class. Metaphors, synesthesia, symbols and the such, what they are and how they work grammatically. After spending two hours the previous night deciphering Biblical parables and breaking them down to metaphors and meanings for a test we didn't even write, I felt ready.

Cynical Twat has his finger bandaged, I think he cut it or something, and thus he can't write. V asks him about it, and when he tells her all that, she's just like "Well, I was never allowed [not to write]." in this half surprised, half jealous kind of way.

The words for pigeon and dove are interchangeable in my mother tounge, as the actual word for dove is quite outdated. And although the metaphor was about a dove, V specified "When we call someone a pigeon, we don't mean that they smell and spread diseases." At the end of class, when somebody asked her how specific we will need to get about recognising these things in writing, she mentioned we will need to know which example is a metaphor or which one is, for example, a symbol, and added "but you will only need to know the exact subtype if you're preparing for an A level", and briefly glanced straight at me before taking a sip of her coffee. I smiled. Challenge accepted.

First lunch break, two people from the other class are rushing towards me the moment they see me, to ask for my Literature textbook. V told them if anyone doesn't have theirs, they're going to have to answer some questions for a grade. Me being me, I gave it to them because, as I told Pocketwatch Friend, "I love V to bits, but I wouldn't want anyone having to answer the questions she asks." Got my book back the next lunch break, as they forgot everyone's having homeroom, and getting their first term report cards.

V and I have a bit of a similar way of walking—long and fast strides, shoulders straight, head held high—so it was a bit funny, both of us heading towards the same door from opposite ends of the corridor. (Though I only really walk like this when I'm confident in myself. It's funny, apparently I do it often enough for it to be noticeable, cuz admittedly, V recognises this walk of mine. It's something she told me at the end of last year, when she mistook someone on the street for me, but realised our hairs were different and that I walk differently.)

As I'm sat in my usual place, head on Pocketwatch Friend's shoulder as I was really tired, I notice that there is something off about V as she's typing away on her laptop. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what, but I felt that something wasn't quite right. The feeling further strengthened when she started the lesson, and I saw her eyes. They looked years older than they did merely three hours before. There was this... deep-rooted exhaustion and sorrow in them, and at first glance, I thought she had cried. She did smile a couple times as far as I remember, and by the end of the lesson, when she showed us some romanticism-period music and art, and we all cracked up on how the cable connecting our projector to her laptop constantly malfunctioned and kept colouring everything to pink, she seemed to be in a lot better mood. That's something I noticed about her in the past two months or so, that she's usually a bit off when she starts class with us, but by the end of it, she's much more calm and feeling better. Not to brag, but I think she likes being with us.

On my way out, as she was telling everyone to put their chairs up, I told her to get some rest as I passed her. She usually doesn't hear these kind of comments because she doesn't want to, but I tried. But, while her "thanks" was probably addressed to the others, she did look me in the eye as she was walking out, me already being outside. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. Maybe she did hear it, after all. Maybe she was glad. These looks of hers are the reason I never know for sure how she feels about me. That's the one thing I never learned how to read about her.

After I spent an hour and half with six little girls clinging to me every other minute of training, I went home feeling great. That's how I know I'm doing my job well. My boys aren't quite so physical, naturally, but I like to think they like me, too. They laugh at my jokes. Anyway, I was in a good mood, ready for dinner, having a good time... then I get a text from Bandana Friend, saying "Look at V's [SNS account]."

Private account.

I immediately got dead scared. What if she found out I was there? What if she saw? Oh God, what if I fucked up? I immediately lost my appetite, and I was in a rather intense state of fear and panic, not at all able to think the situation through rationally and spamming both Bandana and Pocketwatch Friend about the situation. Now, I am aware that I overreacted quite a bit, to the point of nearly crying, and that the situation is nearly not as dramatic as I thought, but I really felt like I betrayed her and invaded her privacy, which, especially after all the shit she's done for me, felt like quite the dick move.

Why was her account public before if she didn't want anyone finding her, you may ask. I actually haven't got an exact answer for that. The best I can say is that—she's human. She made a mistake, and I trust her enough to feel that she did. She was careless, but I'm in no position to throw the first stone at her. After all, I was, too.

For long hours after that, I felt hollow. Disappointed in myself. I could only cry later as well, once my mum was gone. Quite tragic, that. One Friday I'm crying in her arms, the next I'm crying because of her. This is why it took me so long to sit down and tell you this, even just writing all this took me 4 whole ass hours. As I thought it over and over again, I realised V isn't someone I should be fearing. That if she ever confronted me about it and I admitted to it, she would be hurt, but she'd understand. She wouldn't hold a grudge, and I could surely make it right by her, were that the case.

But both my friends offered an explanation that made even more sense. After all, it was my cousin from the other class who found it, and surely all of his classmates know. My friends both said that maybe someone over there let the cat out of the bag—honestly, some people there are the type. If you read things back, the fact that she had class with them between our two classes with her, and that she started class with us really disoriented and worn quite add up. I don't think I'll ever know if she saw I was there. I don't think she'll ever mention it. I still feel a little guilty, and something tells me all this isn't quite over yet, not until I see her again and see how she acts. But spending an hour last night, jumping around barefoot in my PJs while listening to Queen and Abba and lip-synching into my phone worked wonders to get the depression out. You should try it.

We'll see how things go. Maybe I screwed up, maybe we both did, maybe neither of us has. Whatever happens, I'll tell you next time. Promise I'll be on time from now on.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush

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callioope · 5 years ago

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Questions Meme!

Hello, yes, this HAS in fact been sitting in my drafts for ages and ages. Thank you to both @crazy-fruit and @ruby-red-inky-blue for tagging me and for waiting forever for me to answer (oops)! I’m sorry I took so long, but y’all ask really good questions and I had to think about some of them!

Question Set 1

1. How are you?

Oh, I’m doing alright! Thank you for asking. The earlier part of this year was rather rough, but therapy has been helping. I’ve been rather busy these past few weeks with traveling, and my schedule going forward is rather busy, too, so while I’m excited for those things, I’m also excited for the eventual moment I can just relax.

2. What would you say are your talents?

Writing. Making fancy color-coded spreadsheets. I’ve been told that my super power is getting random (annoying) songs stuck in other people’s heads. Does that count as a talent?

3. If you had the chance to start your life again, would you take it?

NOPE. No thanks. I like where I am at right now, and I would not want to relive my awkward years. Er, at least, my more awkward, younger years. Cuz I’m totally still awkward. Just less awkward. I hope?

4. Which language would you like to speak instantly?

HMM. ALL OF THEM. It’s really hard to choose!

Language fascinates me, and in another life I feel like I would have devoted a lot more time to learning more of them. Unfortunately, I really hated German class in high school because of the teacher’s tendency to put people on the spot -- I think that is sort of inherent in a language class, but I get anxiety speaking in public.

Anyways, I suppose I’ll answer Turkish to this question, since spouse and I keep saying we’re going to try to learn Turkish via Duolingo. For the record, my HS offered six languages, which was the most I’ve ever heard of an American school offering, and I was always quite happy with my choice of German. (The others were Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.) I do wish I had maintained my German better, and I that I had more time to learn Spanish.

5. Where would you like to be right now?

Honestly? I’m pretty happy when I’m at home. But if I had to answer where “else” would I like to be right now, out of the whole world? Being back on safari in Botswana is a top contender, as are a variety of places in Turkey, and also Munich.

6. What name would you give yourself?

I’ve always liked my actual name (Elizabeth). I know I go by Liz; one of my HS friends was quite stubborn and I’m a bit stuck with it now, but I don’t mind it. There are worse nicknames that come from Elizabeth. I used to go by Fiona online; I’ve always been fond of that one.

7. What is something you’re currently learning?

OOF, what a good question. I sorta blanked on this at first, and my first thought was uhhhh learning how to cope with my OCD??? I’m doing exposure therapy right now, ish. Emphasis on the ish. Also mindfulness. Does that really even count? I started a beginner’s knitting project several months ago that I never finished, does that count? (I just need to seam it, that’s what I’m putting off. I have knit plenty of scarves; however, this is my first hat.) I’m sort of teaching myself ukulele although I haven’t really learned any new chords or songs in awhile. I would very much like to take more photography classes with a focus on wildlife photography. That involves buying a new camera and... signing up for classes.

Question Set 2

1. What is a detail in a piece of art/a text that you like that you really admire?

This was very difficult, at first because it was like looking at a bin full of loose things and just seeing an assortment of color and being overwhelmed by it all, and then because once I did start digging around, I kept finding different ideas and it was too hard too choose.

Character-building: In the A Song of Ice and Fire series, when Arya starts working for the House of Black and White, Martin stops using the name “Arya” as she dons different identities. For example, he uses “Cat” for a bit, among other names. It shows she’s trying to be someone else, but the caveat is that there are still little mannerisms and such that show she hasn’t really left Arya behind (I think maybe she bites her lip or something? I don’t remember specific examples because it’s been over 5 years since I read these books, but I do remember really appreciating the general technique at the time).

Music: In The Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I love those repeated arpeggios, over and over, building, intensifying, as the white noise comes in and you can just feel the heaviness of desire, of want... (and then I love how it just breaks so suddenly! And I know it wouldn’t have been intended this way because that’s the end of side one, but since I listen to the whole album on spotify, then those bright chords of “Here Comes the Sun” come in and god Abbey Road is the best Beatles album)

Writing: the poetry of Florence + The Machine’s “All This and Heaven Too,” obviously, since literally the title of my blog comes from that. I’d quote that whole song honestly. There’s something that speaks to me about the incapability of language to fully encompass just... everything. I mean, love in specific here, but also just everything. Words are just these little boats we put meaning on and we hope they make it to the other side but everyone takes ‘em a little differently.

Like, look at this:

And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how

And this:

Words were never so useful So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Anyways, there’s also something just incredibly soothing about the music, too, and how she sings the song. There’s another line, from Sara Bareilles’ “Miss Simone” that goes “How does she know what a heart sounds like?” which pretty much sums up how I feel about “All This and Heaven Too” (and also many of Sara Bareilles’ song, especially that particular album, but I digress).

Anyways I did have some art examples, but I think I’ve rambled long enough.

2. Is there an idea that you really liked but had to discard because you couldn’t get it to work?

If I really like an idea, I don’t really “discard” it so much as put it on the shelf to attempt later. Out of recent fic ideas, I’ve really struggled with “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days.” I first thought of this in late spring 2017, and for awhile I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was working on Whatever I Do at the time, and wanted to wait before starting another WIP. By the time I got to writing this, the inspiration well had sort of dried up.

I really like the idea of a fun cat-and-mouse rom-com idea where Jyn and Cassian keep outsmarting each other, with a whole lot of competency kink, some “oh shit we actually work well together!” and maybe some battle couple. And I was really looking forward to both the moment when they both finally let their guards down around each other and the big confrontation when they actually find out each other’s identities. But it involved more mission writing than I was prepared for, and I really struggled with it. I think I need to start over but that involves a lot of working, so it’s unfortunately shelved for now, and I’m working on a “You’ve Got Mail” concept instead.

3. Is there something fandom-related you would like to be able to do (i.e. I’d like to be able to make gif sets but can’t)?

Oh, yes, absolutely! Really anything that’s not writing related, lol. Gif sets, art, etc. But most of all, I have a music video idea for the song “So Close” from Enchanted--like I have a whole story board plotted out in a google doc. But I don’t have any video editing software, don’t even know how you get the scenes for a music video, etc. I have made videos before, but not since high school, and I don’t even have the cheap, basic video editing program I used back then. Sometimes I think I should just attempt make a gif set instead, but there are so many lyrics! and scenes that go with the lyrics! that I don’t know how to consolidate it into that format anyways.

4. What is a skill you’ve acquired through fandom work?

Hmm, this was tough. I’m going to say HTML. I’m not up-to-date on webdesign at all, but back in my early fandom days, I ran a few fansites. I still sometimes use HTML while leaving comments or to edit posts on dreamwidth or w/e. It’s super basic, but it has helped me at work at a variety of jobs. I take it for granted that people my age should know basic HTML, but a lot of them don’t, and then a lot of people I work with now are older and definitely not tech savvy.

5. Do you think anyone can learn to create great art, or does it take talent?

Well, I’m going to cheat a little. I do think think that anyone can learn to create great art, but I also think that everyone has a talent at something, and part of learning to create great art is recognizing your skill sets and honing those. If that makes sense? I’ve sort of seen both sides to this. I’ve seen naturally talented people create great things, but I also think that they’re probably cheating themselves if they’re not learning and honing their craft and trying to get better. But I’ve also seen people who started out making things that maybe you wouldn’t call great, but they worked hard over and over again, and looking at their work now, you’d say they were talented without ever knowing the difference. Great art = talent + learning + passion. Did that even answer the question? ...moving on

6. Do you prefer AUs or in-universe? Why?

I prefer to write in-universe, for sure. I find modern AUs more challenging, mostly because--and I feel kinda bad saying this--it’s very difficult for me to tap into Jyn and Cassian’s characters without some kind of tragic background. Their experiences and how they coped with them shape their personalities, and it’s really hard to separate them from those. My WWII was easier because, hey, it’s war, not so different from in-verse. But I initially tried to write Learning Curve in a modern AU and I was just totally bored. Putting it in universe made it more interesting to me, especially having to finagle a happier plot inverse. IDK, it might even be that I generally struggle to make up any conflict in modern AUs that feels interesting.

THAT SAID, lol, I definitely read either. So it’s probably strange for me to be hung up on it because I’ve read nice fluffy modern AUs and found them perfectly engaging.

Tagging: @theputterer, @magalis, @allatariel, @mythologicalmango, @threadsketchier MY USUAL DISCLAIMER APPLIES: no pressure if you just don’t wanna, AND if anyone sees this and was like “aw hey i wish she’d tagged ME” well guess what, I wish I did too! so go ahead and do it and let me know and then i’ll know to tag you next time, too :-)

Questions:

When you suffer a setback or a series of setbacks when creating (writing, drawing, knitting, any kind of crafty project thing you work on... even work), what are some strategies you use to cope with that stress and move forward?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to create/make and what did you learn from it?

What part of a bicycle would you be?

What’s a helpful writing (art/crafting/work) technique you’ve learned?

What’s a piece of art that made you see things differently?

You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

What was the last board game you played and what did you like or not like about it?

*sorry these came out rather writer heavy!

#about me #tag meme

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smolbeandrabbles · 6 years ago

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Sway Pt.5 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Here / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Author’s Note: This is it! The infamous chapter I wrote twice!! To make up for it, I’ve added in a bunch of stuff that wasn’t there before like more Jase/Javi/Danny banter. I actually LOVE their dynamic... Yeaaah I wrote a scene based on another scene because I couldn’t HELP it. The gifs will prove that! Valentine’s Day doesn’t even necessarily have to be the setting for any of the following to happen... Only, it was near Valentine’s Day at the time and it all made a lot of sense in my head. So, celebrate Valentine’s Day a month late, why don’t you? (haha...) + Bonus. I made a Gerry reference. 😉

Disclaimer: As started before, I own nada by my OCs. I took some lyrical liberties with ‘Slow Dance in a Parking Lot’ by Jordan Davis. Sue me! Please don’t actually sue me. I finished Bloodline and it actually hurts, so, I’m going to be “stealing” a bunch of ideas/lines... Here is the very first scene stealing moment, though.

Premise: The Premise is Valentine’s Day, need I say more? I tried not to be horribly Cliche...

Word Count: 7748

Warnings: Drinking, Sexual Pre-Amble (a-la-pt-4). The knowledge this will never be as good as the version I actually deleted? I had a breakdown in the middle of my living room over that, it deserves a warning

…And I don't care what song comes next I'm falling right here, don't want a safety net. In a slow dance with you Spinning you around by the restaurant sign Moving our feet over the painted white lines Getting close to you Making the most of whatever we got Even if it's just a slow dance in a parking lot

----

I want to wear his initial On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck Not because he owns me, But 'cause he really knows me Which is more than they can say

Danny couldn’t believe that another month had flown by. As he flicked the calendars in the restaurant to February. You’d been dating since the previous summer. And things were getting serious. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had been in a relationship this long. But, he was glad for it. Jason whistled as he turned over the calendar in the kitchen; “Busiest day of the year ahead Danny! You gonna leave us in the lurch!?” Danny turned to him, confused “What?” “Valentine’s Day! C’mon man, what are you doing with Y/N!!” He turned back to the calendar, eyes wide, oh. God! “…I wasn’t going to go anywhere… I was gonna come… here… Oh my God!” “Danny!!!” Jason couldn’t believe it “Did you forget about Valentine’s Day!?” “When was the last time I ever did anything on Valentines!?” He turned to Jason “It’s always been just another day…! Crap! She’s gonna kill me!” “Probably!” Jason laughed Javier poked his head through the kitchen window at the commotion; “What is up!?” “Danny forgot Valentine’s Day.” “WHAT!?” Javier laughed “NO! Danny! THE most important day for any girl in a relationship!?” “Stop it! Both of you! What am I gonna do! I can’t leave you all – you’re right, it’s traditionally one of the busiest days of the year…! God, can I really bring her here again??”

Whilst he mulled this over in his head, half in panic, Javier disappeared from the window, and then waltzed through the kitchen doors. The grin on his face obvious with what he was going to do; “…How are you gonna approach that one?” “He’s got 14 days…” Jason folded his arms, just as intent on hearing Danny’s plan – that he had about 5 seconds to come up with… Danny put his head in his hands “I’m just gonna have to owe her big time…” He thought on it “No, maybe… Maybe I can make this right… I’ll go a little off menu… Something she’ll really like. Then in a few weeks when it isn’t so busy I’ll take her out…” “It’s almost booked up!” Javier turned to the book to check it out, and became concerned with how busy he would be that night; “I’ll find somewhere for her! It’s my place!” “…Well, You got two weeks!” Jason pointed back to the calendar he had just changed. “Don’t forget the gift! Girls love gifts!” Danny made a noise like they weren’t making it any easier, which they weren’t. Javier almost tutted “Can you imagine? Poor, poor Y/N... She'll be expecting a long-" "Loooong!" Jason chimed in, with an eyebrow wiggle "Romantic night...!" "So romantic!" Jason put his hand over his heart as Javi put an arm around him and continued; "Michelin star restaurant, Miami skyline view, Danny's money paying... The works Valentines... As only she deserves. But picture this instead..." He held his hands out emphasising the two words of the restaurant name; "Viva Caputa. Again! And two measly hours of her boyfriend’s time." Danny looked like he was on the verge of anger at their teasing, and Javier narrowly missed the towel that was thrown his way. "You two are SO not getting paid this month!" "What!! DANNY!!" "OH! NO!!" But he cracked a smile and laughed anyway "You fuckin' deserve it! Overtime. Neither of you are getting on dates either!" "Oh! Just another romantic evening with Danny Rayburn - lucky us!!" Javier laughed at Jason's statement as he left the kitchen: "We’ll be Danny's dates! We’ll actually see more of him than she will..!" "Javi, don't you have tables to wait!?" "I'm going!" He called back as the doors swung closed behind him. "Good cuz I don't pay you to stand and chat!" "You just said you weren't paying us." Danny gave Jason a warning look "You can get back to work and all!" Jason beamed; "I love you too Danny!"

* You rolled your car to a stop outside his restaurant later that day; “Hey!” “Hi.” He hopped in, unsure how to broach the subject “…So…Uh… I was thinking…” “Yeah? Go on…” “…Valentine’s Day’s coming up.” You looked across to him, you knew that… Of course you knew that. You just hadn’t expected Danny of all people to be talking to you about it. He didn’t seem like the type to be taking you on a Valentine’s date. And you had to be honest, that was fine with you… You weren’t sure you’d mind not doing anything. “Yes?” “…Well… It’s… one of the busiest days in the business… And I can’t leave those guys all alone in there…” “And that’s fine…” “SO I was wondering…” he bit his lip “…If you wanted to… or you wouldn’t mind, coming down to my restaurant.” Before you had chance to reply he continued quickly “I’ll do something off menu, it’ll be exclusive. I know you… So… I think I can get that right… I just, I’m sorry. I’ll have to make it up to you…” You smiled, Danny Rayburn was so full of surprises; “Ok. Fine, I’ll come down to your restaurant “…On one condition.” He looked across to you, suddenly nervous about what you might say, and swallowed hard “…Anything.” “…Don’t buy me anything. Please? We’re not doing gifts it’s too… cliché… We’re not… No. Please, don’t buy me anything… I don’t need anything either…” “What!? So you’re not going to get me anything!?” He faked hurt, his mouth open “No! Shut up! That’s not what I said, I said – you can’t buy me anything! I just won’t get you something either then it’s fair!” He took out his mobile to call back to the restaurant. "Are you sure!? This is your last chance before they pick up! All I can promise is a good table and me for a couple of hours, not even the whole evening - You can back out!" If you weren't with him you didn't want to be out on Valentine’s Day at all. You couldn't believe when it would be so busy he'd even take a few hours out for you... "Danny I don’t care!" You forgot the rest of your sentence, and paid for it. He gasped in pretend shock "You don't care!?...AND I’m not good enough for a gift!?” He laughed, turning his attention back to his mobile as you heard Javier pick up; “Unbelievable!” * You studied yourself in the mirror. Was red too much of a Valentine’s Day colour? Were you about to become the cliché you’d sworn you weren’t!? You had to be honest with yourself you weren’t even sure you’d be wearing red, if it wasn’t for the fact that you had gone out and brought this dress specifically for tonight. It was the same cut as the one you had worn the first time you had frequented his restaurant. And the split up the side showed off your Miami tan. You had gone all out tonight to look flawless. Not for yourself. But for him. Your hair and makeup was perfect, your heels just the right height, and you felt good. The final touch, as ever, was your favourite perfume… You wondered if Danny would remember it from before… Gathering your things together you walked confidently down to your car, loving the sound of your heels striking the floor. You turned up your music loud as you made your way to his restaurant. You weren’t sure about the alcohol involved in tonight for you to be driving… You’d either have to take it slow, or take a cab. It didn’t matter; you could simply collect your car tomorrow… No-one would mind you leaving it overnight. When you arrived in the parking lot you weren’t surprised to see it packed. Luckily for you, dating the man who owned the place had its privileges. Tonight it really paid off; as only the staff parking spaces were free. You knew Danny had a car but, he didn’t have it with him tonight… You rolled your own neatly into his parking space and took a deep breath. Time for your big entrance. When you rounded the corner to the front of the restaurant they were queuing out of the door. Surely this wasn’t people who had reservations!? It was crazy; even for Valentine’s day you’d never seen Danny’s this busy. You smiled to yourself, quite proud – he was going to do well tonight. You walked past the line, which continued inside, where Javier caught you;

“Amorcita! Come, come! Right this way!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this busy!” “Trust me… neither have we…” He took your hand and led you; “You look stunning… By the way. Danny doesn’t know what he’s missing by not taking you out!” “When it’s this busy, you best be glad he’s here…!” You followed Javier to a table in the back of the room, where it was quieter. Danny had clearly carefully chosen this spot… “You better like this table! You will not believe the number of times I have had to set it and re-set it!” You could imagine, it was for you - Even perfection would not be good enough for Danny tonight. You smiled gently as Javier sat you so you faced the kitchen; “Now you can at least look at your man whilst he’s working… Though how dare he, when you look this good?” You laughed “Well, Javi, let’s face the facts… We’re both going to be in agony waiting…” He smiled; “I’ll let him know you are here. Trust me, I’ve never seen a man more excited about creating off the menu pieces… He’s been looking forward to this for two weeks… Can I get you your usual drink?” “Oh. No. Javi… That’s okay… I don’t want to get too… drunk?... Tonight… I’m driving.” “Oh… Well, you know, I’m sure Danny’s got something in mind that goes with EVERYTHING he’s made…” He checked his watch; “You think he’d come say Hi…” “He’s busy Javi… But please do let him know I’m here…” He nodded, and left to remind Danny EXACTLY what time it was.

* Javier made sure all of his tables were happy before he made his way back over to you. “SO, whilst Danny is busy. I’m going to be your date!” You laughed; “Why?” “Sorry… Why…?! Because you are the most beautiful girl in the room. And everyone knows it.” You had to admit, whilst you had been sitting here alone, with your thoughts, nearly everyone in the room had been staring at you, glancing over and whispering about the mystery girl who had shown up here dressed to perfection without a date. Who was the guy? And when would he be showing up? It had only made you smirk to yourself. You wondered how they would react when they realised it was Danny? That man sure deserved to show you off tonight; what was wrong with being the eye-candy on his arm just this once? You wanted to prove that he could get the girl – and you had dressed up for him. Not for anyone else. Still, you were flattered by Javi’s compliment “Thank you…” He placed a bottle of your favourite coloured wine on the table, and by the label clearly an expensive one; “Danny says nothing less than the top shelf will do tonight. So he’s really treating you. As I knew he would…” Javier smiled “You’re really good news for him… You know?” “…SO many people tell me that, like’s he’s bad news.” “He’s had his ups and downs. Especially in his love life. They are quite some stories…” He lent on his hand; “But the way he talks about you… man… it’s something else…” You were determined not to blush, so you expertly changed the subject “What about you? Shouldn’t you be out with someone special tonight?” “ME! You’re the best I got. I’m single.” “Single!? NO!” You pulled out your mobile “Are you serious?!” He nodded and then got suspicious as you typed something into it “…Why?” “…Because, honey, do I know the girl for you…” “OH, really?! Matchmaking?” “Yes really… And you’ve already kinda met her….” If you could do a little matchmaking in Danny’s restaurant, why not? After all, it was your interaction with Danny here that had got you together. He raised an eyebrow, and took a breath “Is it the crazy one?” “Define crazy…?” You grinned, knowing both your friends had been flirting with him “Y’know the… order everything off the menu, drunk on Friday night, don’t ask me any questions, staring at me a lot, type crazy one.” “…Would you have a problem if it was…?” He chewed his lip for a moment and then smiled; “I dunno… I think I could go for a little crazy.” You laughed, and wrote her number down on a napkin; “Her name is Amanda, and she’s very dear to me. Be nice.” “What are you doing?! You have got to be kidding? I have to wait two days for you to call my number and you’re just giving yours out to Javi?!” Danny shook his head and folded his arms as he stopped at your table. He had changed out of his chefs’ whites into a black button-up shirt, his attempt to look smart for your date. It worked, in a Danny kind of way. “No…” You looked at him innocently “…I was simply doing a little matchmaking…” “Is that so…” He smiled and leant in to kiss your cheek. He turned to Javi, who stood to take his leave “When you’re ready, my good man, Jason knows how it goes…” “Alright! I’m on it!”

Danny slid into the seat that Javier had just vacated and blew out a breath; “You look… I just… Words… honestly fail me…” You smiled “Well… I just wanted to look good for you.” “For me!? Darlin’, you needn’t have you always look good. Tonight you look…” He made a motion to indicate he couldn’t find the right word. “And everyone is quite rightly staring at you…” “At you…” You leant on your hand, “…I like that…” “Oh. Really…” He reached for the bottle Javier had placed on the table and poured you a sensible glass full “Yeah. It’s about time people knew I was yours…” He chuckled, “Alright… Sweetheart… Well, you’ve clearly made one hell of a point…” He placed his hands together “…Now in advance, I apologise that I can’t stay. But I sure as hell want to make these hours count…” “Baby that’s ok…” “And when I leave, I don’t expect you to stay… It’s going to be a long night. And I’ll be here helping them out until closing. So…” He took a sip of wine, and made a face like he was pleased with his choice “…Please, feel free to leave at any time.” “No… No… That’s ok… I want to stay… I have my car… You can just come back to mine tonight…” He smirked suddenly and leant towards you; “Oh? Is that where this is heading…? A little cliché for Valentine’s Day don’t you think…?” You suddenly realised what you had said; “Danny no! I didn’t mean it like that-!” “No need to be shy about it Y/N… It’s just you and me…” His eyes flicked to the cut of your dress. You were still determined not to blush, lowering your voice to a whisper; “Stop it! You can’t talk like that! Not here!” “Why not? It’s my restaurant… My rules… No-one cares… Why, baby? Don’t you want me?” You had to look away from his intense stare… But you bit your lip… Wondering if that was where your night might end… You ran your finger lazily around the rim of your glass whilst he took another sip of his “I didn’t say I didn’t want you…” You looked back into his eyes, pouring some sugar of your own; “I just said you can’t talk that way here…” He was right. He knew you. Every off-menu dish he’d created was something you’d talked endlessly about or a variation of something off his menu you truly loved. You realised that every time he’d seen you eat he’d studied you – to the letter. Everything went well together, and everything paired with the wine he’d selected. You were beyond flattered. He continued to flirt with you through the entire meal and you felt like the only girl in the world. Even though your aim had been quite the opposite. He was way too good to you for the man his family made him out to be. “…Oh. Yeah. Just one thing…” He shuffled around in his seat and began rummaging in his pocket it got you curious “…I… Kinda broke your rule…” You could swear your heart was about stop beating and instinctively put your hand over it in relief. You opened your mouth as he placed the box on the table, It was small, black and wrapped intricately with silver ribbon. By its size and shape that he wasn’t about to get down on one knee in the middle of his own restaurant, especially after the previous conversations you’d had here. He followed your train of thought; “Geez! Don’t die on me! Give me SOME credit! I am in NO way sickeningly cliché enough to propose to you in front of my whole restaurant... on Valentine’s Day. Besides I’d never live it down!” He was right, Javier and Jason would never let him hear the end of it. Then he laughed, like he couldn’t resist it “Maybe I’ll do it when we’re alone later!” Still, the joke didn’t ruin the way you felt and you almost had to stop yourself from crying; “Oh! Danny!” “Now it’s not much… But I wanted you to have something…” He slid the box towards you; “You can’t open it until I’m gone… though, ok?” “…You didn’t have to.” “I know. You made that clear. But I wanted to…” He smiled, and poured himself another glass. He looked around the restaurant. It was in a lull period, before the next sitting, and he was glad he’d get to sit with you for a little while longer, at least until you had finished.

When the restaurant started to get busy again, you knew he had to take his leave. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.” “No. No… Baby, go do your job…” He stood and rounded the table to kiss you again. It didn’t last nearly long enough; “I promise not to make you wait too long…” But you didn’t mind. You could at least watch him working. “Thank you, for coming here!” “I love coming here!” “I know but… I wish I could have taken you out…” “You’ll get the chance.” You winked “I get to see the guys too…” “True…” He smiled “…See you later. And honestly… Go… Don’t sit here on my account!” Although, he knew you’d wait there forever if you had to. On his way back to the kitchen he was stopped by another long-term patron. You loved to see Danny laughing, but as he did so he nodded and looked across to you. You couldn’t help but smile until it hurt. This was what you wanted. You wanted them to realise what he had. The man Danny Rayburn really was. And that look of adoration on his face, that was for you… And it wasn’t the only time he was stopped...

* “How you doing? Can I get you anything else? Another drink…? Coffee?” Javier came over to clear away the plates; “Was it good?” “Incredible.” “I told you he was excited…” “I’ll uh... Take you up on coffee, Javi, that would be great. Put in a shot of Bailey’s too.” “Well, that sounds like an idea…” “Oh. And, the check.” “The check-!? Danny will NOT let you pay.” Javier looked taken aback by the very idea. “Javi, He can’t do that again. Let me.” “…Amorcita… I don’t know… Half this stuff was off menu I don’t know if I can…” “Just do your best… Please… Let me pay.” He still seemed hesitant “Look. If I drink any more… Those can go on the house, just… Let me pay. Let me pay all of you, too, with all the hard work you guys do? You deserve it.” “Okay… But this was all your idea…” “Thank you…” You handed him your card and he went off to get your coffee too. When he came back you had pulled the box closer to you; “Here you are… And your coffee… Call me if you need anything else…” “I won’t hesitate… Thank you Javi…” You scribbled out your signature and pulled delicately at the silver ribbon until it unravelled. You were curious… It wasn’t anything so cliché as chocolates or flowers by the size of the box… What would Danny break your one rule in favour of? You lifted the lid gently and had to smile, touching your hand to your chest. The fine gold chain winked in the gentle restaurant candle light as you lifted it delicately from the box, it ran smooth through your fingers as you studied it. Sitting on the end, however was the exact answer to your question. Small, plain, but with symbolism that could not be understated, was a delicate cursive initial. D, for Danny.

The next time the restaurant buzz died to quiet you realised how late it must be getting. As you looked up from your phone you witnessed Jason leave the kitchen. If Danny was letting his staff go, it must have been near the end of the night. Jase caught your eye and wandered over; “Y/N! Have you had a good evening.” “Letting Danny go for a couple of hours was very kind of you Jason… Yeah. I’ve had a great time… I guess it isn’t over yet!” “No, but, should be soon. The kitchen is winding down, Danny said he can take care of the dessert now. Which, for Danny is a big thing. You know he hates baking right? Says it’s all about Chemistry… but cooking… That’s about feel!” He rolled his eyes and you hated to laugh at the way he imitated Danny, but that was exactly something he would say “…Like he doesn’t know what Chemistry is. When he has you…!” He grinned, “I dunno. Anyway, if Danny can handle it, we’re almost done. He won’t keep you waiting much longer.” “How you spending the rest of your evening? You got someone special?” “Yeah, my girl’s pretty understanding. I’ll take her out properly tomorrow… But I’m sure there’s enough evening left to make something of it. Make sure you do to, when he’s finished, alright?” “I will. Now get on to your girl!” He smiled “See you soon Y/N!” He walked away, but then turned and call back down the restaurant “It looks good on you! By the way!” You realised he was talking about the necklace, and you looked down. Its length allowed it to be more visible the deeper the cut of whatever you were wearing. You guessed that was the point, people were more likely to stare at you if you were wearing something that showed your skin. So, it was best to show them that you were already taken. At least, that’s probably how Danny’s feelings went – you didn’t think he was so insecure. He just as likely wasn’t one to put up with another guy putting his eyes on you.

Your phone eventually buzzed and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the text; Are you at Dannys!? Maybe… 😉 Did you give me NUMBER to the waiter we had?! And If I did? C’mon. Amanda, you were so into him… I can’t believe you!! Have fun – you’re welcome! At that moment, you heard laughing and the kitchen doors swung open again to more staff leaving. Including Javi, now out of uniform, who interestingly had his phone in his hand. He waved to you, but Danny caught him; “OY! Who said anything about you leaving your tables aren’t all clear!” “What!? C’mon Danny! There’s one left!” “If all your tables aren’t done, you don’t go!” “But she’s…” Danny gave him a significant warning look, making Javi sigh and wander over to you. You nodded to his phone; “Anything I should be interested in.” He grinned “Yeah, matchmaking service… We’re heading out for drinks.” “Wow. You move fast! I thought she had a date.” “It clearly went well…” He gave a wink and then looked to the table. Every other table was neatly cleared and stacked, awaiting usage tomorrow. You were the only one left down this end of the restaurant “So, Danny won’t let me go unless my tables are clear… So… I guess I’m not drinking until you leave…” You got up slowly; “No, let me help you – don’t want you to miss a date I basically initiated…!” You smiled, content to help him carry things back to the kitchen, still chatting excitedly about his plans. Danny sighed; “She can have some of your pay check for that!” “Aw – c’mon! It’s clear now!” How many times was Danny going to threaten to take away his pay check this month?! “Yeah, alright! Off you go!” Danny turned to you; “Sit down Darlin’, at least I can watch you from here now…” He gave a wink as you sat yourself at the bar, Javi came back around and could not resist wrapping his arms around you and kissing your cheek; “Goodnight Amorcita!” Danny shook his head “…Don’t bother coming back tomorrow!” He yelled after Javi, who laughed “You don’t mean that! You love me really!” That had you and Danny laughing; “Good luck on your date! Let me know how it goes!” He waved to you “I will Y/N!” Turning back to Danny you realised the kitchen was now empty besides him. And the two tables left were finishing up their drinks and paying their tabs. Danny was essentially just clearing away; “Give me half an hour sweetheart and I’ll be done…” “What’s thirty minutes more?” You shrugged. You loved watching him work, you were a little disappointed you’d missed out. Still, watching him clear away meant you were one minute closer to having him in your arms again. *

Finally he waltzed out of his kitchen, bag over his shoulder. He didn’t come to you immediately, instead walking to the back of the restaurant, checking everything was clear and ready for tomorrow and flicking off lights as he made his way back to you. “OK… We can go…” He took your hand in his as he helped you off the bar stool and you wrapped your arm around his. He liked that. You could tell by his smile. Once outside it wasn’t as cold as you would think, even for February. He kept your hand in his as he locked the door; “So, you like it?” You noticed him look across to the necklace, now flashing in the streetlights. “Like it? Danny… I love it…” You got the feeling now it was on, you would never take it off. “Really?” He smiled; “Good… It looks better on you… I’m almost proud of myself. Bet you’re glad I broke that rule.” “…Yeah. This once…” He pocketed his keys, and walked you to your car. You felt alright for driving, thank goodness. You hadn’t had too much to drink and you had eaten enough. You were just about to pull your keys from your bag when he stopped. You weren’t paying attention, so you were pulled back by his arm. You were about to voice your question when he looked at you; sincerely. “Dance with me.” “…What?” “I didn’t get to take you out properly… Dance with me…” You looked around; here? In the middle of the restaurant parking lot? Was he serious? “Danny, there’s no music? Without music?” He shook his head “We don’t need music. You should know that.” When you still didn’t respond he sighed, letting you go he put his bag down, and held his hand out to you, taking up what you recognised to be an awkward version of a Waltz stance. You took a breath, and smiling, you put your hand in his. He placed his other hand gently on your waist and pulled you closer to him. Placing your other hand on his shoulder you laced your fingers together, and he began to sway you. “You’re crazy… you know that?” “And yet, you’re the one dancing with me…” He smiled, as you relaxed into his arms, resting your head against his chest as he continued to rock you. Bringing your hand in, he placed it against his heart; and you quickly realised that you were dancing to the rhythm of his heartbeat. He kissed your hair, and then your forehead, brushing his cheek against yours to get just that little bit closer to you. The way he enveloped your body with his was protective; and you felt safer now than you had ever felt in anyone else’s arms. The only sound was the cars that occasionally drove passed on their way back from Valentine’s Dates of their own. You wondered how many passengers in them looked over and saw the two of you, moving in a circle under the yellow glow of the floodlit parking lot – and thought you were insane. But you couldn’t have cared less… You were lost in his motion, in the way he held you - as strong as it was delicate – his attempt to show you he would hold you forever but that he would never break you… Any part of you. And you knew that included your heart. You thought it was dangerous for him to make that promise; but you badly wanted it to be true. Your rhythm came to a gentle stop, but he continued to let you get lost in his embrace. Your fingers tangling themselves in the fabric of his shirt, telling Danny you wouldn’t let him go either… You looked up to him; and his blue eyes glowed in the wake of the lighting. He kissed your forehead, the bridge and tip of your nose and finally your lips. You wound your arms around his shoulders and let the kiss linger as long as he would allow. Full of further unspeakable promises. He broke it, finally and chuckled; “Let’s go home…”

* “UGH!” Danny collapsed on your couch. Now changed into a grey vest top and shorts he ran his hands over his face and through his hair; “That was HELL! Never let me do something like that again!!!” He tipped his head back, making you laugh; “Well. There’s always next year.” “Oh GOD! I’ve only just gone though this year! Remind me to take the day off!” “I wouldn’t let you do that to them!” He made a sound that was painful; “God. I need a drink…” “What a great idea… I like your train of thought…” You wandered over to one of your cupboards and pulled down a bottle and two tumblers. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity; “Is that… whisky? Girl, I like the way you think.” “… I think you’ll find Woodford Reserve brands itself as Kentucky Bourbon…” You looked across to him “Is it a two or three fingers type night?” He laughed; “Three, at LEAST!” You poured him a generous two and a half, and poured nothing more than a dribble for you. A night cap. That was all you wanted. You put the bottle away and handed him the glass. You loved the way Woodford tasted. It wasn’t sweet, it had a savoury quality but by God did it have a burn, it was that that made it your favourite. You took a sip, he studied his glass and then looked back to you; “What? No ice?!” You pointed to your fridge “You have legs!” He puffed his cheeks and narrowed his eyes but he clearly wasn’t about to get up; “Cheers…!” He swirled it before taking a sip, you watched the way he rolled the liquid over his tongue before swallowing, and the breath he let out as it burned; “Oh-! That is good!” You nodded your agreement as he sat back. Now he really allowed himself to study you, he already knew what you were wearing was gorgeous. The deep-V neckline, now complete with his very own initial. The split up the side showed your beautifully tanned legs, giving him just enough but leaving him wanting so much more… it hugged your figure well too. He hadn’t forgotten your little conversation back at his restaurant… Now he was just wondering if you would act on it, or not. “You are so, damn, beautiful…” His voice was quiet, and it edged on sinful promise. You took another sip and looked back to him, then wished you hadn’t at the look on his face. The look in his eyes. Your heart began to pound in your chest. “…Don’t look at me like that…” “Baby…” He shook his head, running is fingers over his lips in a way that sent shivers over your skin; “Why not…” “Because I…” You had to look away, look to your balcony, then to your wall…To anything but his eyes – you couldn’t hold that stare. You noted how deep the breaths you were taking were… Your stomach and your heart and your HEAD were all in agreement on this one. It was Valentine’s Day, why not act on this…? Eventually your eyes had to wander back to his. He was leaning back casually on your couch, and had you locked in his intense gaze. He tapped his finger against the side of the whisky glass that he was holding casually by the rim – he was waiting on you and you knew it. He read you too well, and Danny was always hard for you to resist…

You realised that you too were tapping your glass, but for a different reason; the nerves were building up inside of you… You somehow tore your gaze away from him again. And it fell to your glass; gripping it so tight your knuckles were white… If you were going to do this, then it was your house. And your rules. Decisively you tipped the glass back to finish it and set it down. Walking over to him, slow, confident, with purpose. You would make him wait for you… brushing your hair back you gave him a look to let him know that you were going to be in control here. He ran his eyes back up you again, and by the time they reached your eyes they were dark blue. You sank yourself down onto his lap, straddling him. Locking your legs with his, your feet barely touched the floor as he was sat so far back. You ran your tongue over your lips and took his glass from him, taking one sip for yourself you placed it on the table beside you. He gave an almost defiant whine; you pulled him to you by his top; “My house… My rules…” He seemed to agree with this as you pulled him into a kiss; tasting like whisky that lingered on his tongue he ran his hands up your smooth thighs, hitching your dress just a little higher as you wound your arms around his shoulders to deepen the kiss…. You were now locked in a completely different form of dance…. He hummed gently in approval at the way you ground your hips into his. Continuing to run his fingers over every inch of skin he could get his hands on; he kept his voice low, almost a whisper as he kissed your neck; "You know, now would be a perfect time to start a playlist..." You almost laughed, digging your nails gently into his biceps; and catching his lips with your again; "That would just make it something else..." He squinted slightly; "Darlin'... We've always been about something else..." He ran his hands through your hair, kissing your beautifully tanned skin over and over "...That is why we work so well..." You accepted his kisses with kisses of your own, but he certainly wasn't affording you breathing space; and soon he had you breathless again. Not only that, but he had the situation back under his control. Kissing you wherever he wanted, he offered resistance and held you back from kissing him - that made you whine in discontent - which is exactly what he was looking for; by the smirk on his face. "...That's it baby girl..." His voice, seductive, was back to giving you that shiver; only this time it ran through him too... So he let you kiss him... running his hands back down your body they lingered for a second at the ties on your dress, before he thought better of it. You felt him shift under you, and then he swept you up. You gasped, leaving his lips and gripping his shoulders tight. He cleared his throat, as he began to walk you towards your bedroom; "Mmmh.... There isn't nearly enough room here to do everything I want to do to you tonight..." He let his husky whisper linger for a moment, with a sinful wink. Trouble was, whatever that promise was... You couldn't wait.

** You woke up without him, and you weren’t sure you liked that. Looking around for any signs of where he might be you were disappointed not to find any. Surely, he wouldn’t have gone off to work already? Considering how late it was last night!? And if he did, wouldn’t he have left a note? You hopped out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shorts of your own and wandered out into the corridor. You almost breathed a sigh of relief when you heard sounds emanating from your kitchen and echoing down to your bedroom. Guess it was finally time you took him up on breakfast… You shuffled down the hall and stood watching him for a minute. He was adsorbed in everything he was doing, moving from one thing to another – he hummed to himself. “Mornin’…” “Good morning Sunshine…” He turned to smile at you “…How are you?” You suppressed a yawn; “Good. Yeah… You’re making me breakfast?!” “Figured that you couldn’t say no to this…” He teased… but then made a face “Actually, I’m trying to make you breakfast… uh, note to Y/N… Please actually stock ingredients!” “Uh, note to Danny, you don’t live here. I will have in this house what I damn well like!” He shook his head “You’re lucky I can make what I’m making! Nothing in your cupboards constitutes a balanced meal, I’m shocked you’re still alive!” “…Well I usually spend all my time at work! When do I get the chance to eat here? Let alone cook.” “That’s no good for you either. And you have an extremely sweet tooth, I’m worried.” You shrugged “It doesn’t bother me!” “No clearly…” he opened another cupboard and lamented “…C’mon… You’re killing me here!” “Well, I didn’t ever expect my boyfriend to be a chef..!” “Well, your boyfriend thinks he needs to take you grocery shopping…” You leant on your counter with a smile; “So… Do it!” He turned to you “…OK… I will… If it gets you eating better, I will.” You shook your head at him, until he pointed to the breakfast bar; “Now sit! I’ll be done in a minute.” “Don’t you want me to help?” “No, Darlin’, this is for you. Sit.” He insisted. Finally you understood what Danny meant as he set everything out for you. Everything was simple, and most of it was leaning towards the sweet side of breakfast. You stared at the pancakes for a minute; “Are there sprinkles in the pancakes?” “Yeaaaah...” You scoffed; “Alright, international house of pancakes...” He narrowed his eyes at you and tapped you with his fork “I’m just trying to make things interesting! And with your limited amount of ingredients I worked with what I had...!” You pointed to the sauce “Syrup?” He looked like he was about to give up on you entirely “... Caramel. Easy to make butter, cream, sugar. Surprised you had those to be honest.” “Ah. You’re being very resourceful...” You clearly weren’t awake yet, pointing out to yourself that there was actually already a syrup bottle on the table. “God, please let me take you shopping...” “What today?” He hummed tilting his head one way and then the other “if that’s what you wanna do, Darlin’...” “I kinda don’t wanna do anything… But… I feel like you’re only gonna complain at me if we don’t…” He didn’t quite nod his agreement, but he took your hand in his and rested it on your knee “…If we do… Then at least I can cook for you more often.” “Are you really THAT worried?” “Yeah. I really am.” And you had to smile, because not only was he being sweet – he was also being serious.

What Danny really admired about you was the way you ate. As a chef that was important to him, and it was important you liked what he made you. But the way you thought about every bite you took impressed him. He couldn’t help but love you more as he watched you eat; “What?” “…You… You just… Amaze me, sometimes…” But he pointed to your plate with his fork “Just, less sugar. Next time. Please?” You got this innocent but defiant look on your face as you tilted your head “…Well, I can’t get ALL my sugar from you…” He laughed, and then leant towards you to brush sugar from your lips with his own. It was a good move, and was rewarded by you pulling his shirt to bring his body closer to yours. He deepened his kiss and all that did was threaten for you to take it back to the bedroom. You pulled away, savouring the taste of his lips on yours for just a moment longer; “Hmmm…” He agreed satisfied “I guess you’re right.”

*** Later that morning you found yourself on a short road-trip; because he was serious about taking you grocery shopping and apparently no other day would do. But now he was driving you, humming along to the radio. It was another nice day, and he had the windows down and his shades on. He looked hot, you had to admit, he was just something else and you were damn proud that he was sitting here beside you. You couldn’t resist texting Amanda, knowing you wanted all the gossip from her night with Javier. It wasn’t like they didn’t ask for every excruciating detail of every date Danny ever took you on. You always remained mysterious about it; Danny showed too much of himself to you and all of it was for you to keep. Not to tell anyone else. Did you wake up with a 10? I didn’t wake up with anybody Amanda! I’m shocked! What happened!? I’m taking it slow. How’s your 10? Well, he’s at least a 12. But yeah, I woke up with him 😉 Ugh. You are beyond lucky. I know. I knnnnow x You were laughing, which got Danny curious. “What?” he nudged your arm when you shook your head “What’s so funny!?” “Nothin’! I’m just…” you waved your hands “Complimenting my awesome boyfriend.” “OH!” He smirked; “IS he now!?” “Well he better damn well think he is too.” “He, uh, I guess he thinks he could be. I mean… He has you.” He let you take his hand in yours; “Well… He takes good care of me… Which is what matters. As he’s proving right now.” “Yeah well. Someone’s gotta do it!” He laughed “Of course I’m happy to do it…!” “Well anything to stop him complaining.” You could tell he was rolling his eyes behind his shades; “Eh….!! I’m not sure he’ll ever do that.” “Shame…” You shook your head “I love him anyway…” “He wants you to know…” he laced your fingers together and looked across to you “He loves you too.”

* You were both tangled up together on your balcony in the late afternoon sun, having the best of lazy days. Your head against his chest as he stroked his hand absentmindedly through your hair… You knew you could stay like this forever… Hell, maybe after your next move you would get that wish. “Danny…” “Hmm?” He blew out smoke in answer, taking another drag of his cigarette as you shuffled around, producing a box tied up in blue ribbon. “I’m actually kinda glad you broke your promise, Because… Now I get to give you this…” He shook his head, “You didn’t have to get ME anything…” Although his eyes flicked to the necklace you were still wearing proudly… He rested his cigarette in the ash tray and took the box from you, “Are you sure?” “Yes!” “…Seriously you didn’t have to.” “I wanted to, too. Anyway, this one is important…” He looked to the box, pulling the blue ribbon slowly he met your eyes again. Would this be as important to you as that necklace was to him? he wondered. You sighed; “Danny! Just open the damn thing the suspense is killing me!” He gave it his full attention as he lifted the lid gently. Then looked a little confused as he was presented with a set of keys; “Are these… The keys to your apartment…?” He lifted them from the box and studied them with careful interest. “…You’re giving me the keys to your apartment?” “No…” You were careful with your choice of words, “Well. No, yeah that’s what they are, but that’s not what I’m asking.” He turned his attention to you out of curiosity… You took a deep breath. Only your parents had keys to this apartment besides you. But, you’d already made up your mind on this one. Danny wasn’t just someone you were seeing, he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, or whisky or heck even sugar talking. This was pure and simple; it was the way you felt and you had to let him know it. You looked at him with nothing but adoration; “Danny… I’m asking, please, and in the most real… honest, wholehearted way I can… For you to move in with me.”

@stcphstrange - Protect this one with your life! It’s been through a lot!!

#Danny Rayburn #Danny Rayburn x Reader #Bloodline #Ben Mendelsohn #danny rayburn x you #Linzi Writes #Linzi Queues Things #Sway #5 #Liliana #Valentines Fic!

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whateverisbeautiful · 7 years ago

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Richonne in Retrospect

#3: The “You Need Me” (3x08)

One of the best parts about re-watching these Richonne scenes in retrospect is seeing Rick and Michonne say certain things to each other that they don’t realize will become so true to their relationship in the future.

R&M have a lot of pre-canon moments where they say things that feel like it’s their subconscious speaking. Rick’s “Can’t let you leave” is an example of this but especially this episode here where Michonne tells Rick he needs her. So true in so many ways.

So first, Michonne is with Rick, Daryl, and Oscar inside Woodbury and they understandably have a lot of questions for her. She isn’t exactly sure where Glenn and Maggie could be and Rick says, “You said you could help us” to which Michonne reminds them she’s doing what she can.

And then Rick separately tells the two other guys, “If this goes south we’re cutting her lose” but notice he doesn’t imply that she’s misleading them or that she is a culprit. Even when Oscar asks if he thinks she’s leading them into a trap he doesn’t answer cuz I know his subconscious knew she can be trusted.

Later, when Michonne does break away from the group to handle the Governor, they realize she’s gone and Rick says “She’s on her own”. I get it, I guess. At this time he feels the most important thing is for him to get Glenn and Maggie out of there. But seeing how salty Rick gets about her leaving in a later scene it’s clear her leaving the group bothers him more than he’d admit.

And, as we know, Michonne broke away from the group in order to tear the Governor all the way up in that iconic fight that established that she is the baddest chick in the game. #facts

Like for real this is always my reaction when I see Michonne let that psychotic grown man know there’s no “eye” in “Governor”...

And after this fight where she let the Governor know exactly what time it is, she returns to Rick and co. which is significant cuz she didn’t have to. And the first thing homeboy wants to know when she comes back to them is where she was. And, the way Rick asks just feels like he took it personal that she left them.

He aims his gun at her and tells her to put her hands up. And then he demands that she turn around. I feel for Sis in this moment cuz like she just had this crazy fight with the Governor, she ran into Andrea who still is choosing a psycho over her despite the fact that Michonne took care of her (but Andrea never was good at making the right decisions 🙄) and then she returns to Rick’s group and even they’re hostile with her.

Don’t get me wrong I get they have to be cautious but even seeing Maggie aim a gun at Michonne, when Maggie wouldn’t have even been rescued had it not been for her makes it sad that at this point no where is home for Michonne yet.

So Michonne turns around and like I said, Homegirl’s presence alone just brings out the extra-ness in Rick cuz then he dramatically removes her katana and I’m just like alright bruh you are clearly all the way in your feelings rn. This is team too much lol.

I love that Michonne’s just reacting like “Whatever, are we finished or are we done?” as Rick goes through all these theatrics. 😂

Like she’s going with it but she’s also not scared of him cuz I’ve always felt that right from the beginning Michonne has been able to really see Rick for the man he is and she knows she doesn’t have to fear him, even if he low key wants her to here. But she’s like, look boy I’m a boss just like you so these intimidation tactics don’t work on me. 👸🏾

And then Rick’s at it again with those long stares. Like she turns to face him and he puts his gun down and just stares at her. And again it’s those looks that have a dash of mesmerized in them.

And then Homeboy gets petty when he leans in and asks “Get what you came for?” Extra. 🙃 Michonne reminds him she brought them there and Rick gets even more petty and says, “Thanks for the help.” Extra-er.🙃🙃

Like what? 🤣 He is so blatantly in his feelings. And also they’re still on enemy territory and need to get out but he has time to try her lol. I love that it’s so clear she can get him so revved up without even trying.

And again, homegirl is not fazed with the pettiness. Instead she drops some truths on him by telling him “You need help to get them back to the prison or to go back for Daryl.” And as Rick intently listens we again get those stare downs. I did not realize how often they do these stare downs lol. But you can tell he knows she’s right.

And then she drops the realest truth of all when she tells him “Either way you need me.”

Where is the lie? Again, this line is so perfect in retrospect. Like Michonne, honey, you don’t even realize how true what you just said is! And when she tells him this Rick is a little speechless cuz he knows it’s true.

Obviously the “you need me” part of the line is so very accurate but I think what makes this line even better is the “either way” part, because it suggests that in whatever route Rick takes or in whatever Rick chooses to do he needs her, no matter what. She’s key to whatever path he takes.

And we see that play out countless times in their relationship, where Rick truly does need her in varying circumstances. Whether it be to physically save his life, to allow him to rest, to be someone he can confide in and look to as his leader, or to do the biggest thing of all and become a mother to his son and daughter. Either way, he needs her.

I love that, even as strangers, their was this internal understanding from both of them that they need each other. And what I love even more is how needing each other evolved into wanting each other and then evolved into falling in love with each other.

With this current unfathomable and earth shattering tragedy Rick and Michonne face (which y’all, I still feel physically sick about losing him) these two will need each other more than ever before.

And a big reason I have hope that they’ll lean on one another rather than distance themselves is because they know they need each other. They knew it here in season three when they were just strangers and they’ll know it now as a husband and wife and especially as a mom and dad.

I didn’t start watching TWD live until season 4 so my siblings and I had binge-watched season 1-3 all in one weekend. My brother had to convince me to watch it cuz I was like I’m not a zombies, comic book, or horror fan so I did not think this was the show for me but then we watched the pilot (in black and white on AMC cuz they did that stuff for some reason 🤔) and I was hooked lol.

But I say all that just to say that this was their season 3 midseason finale (idk if they took long breaks like they do now for a msf) and I like that the last note they left on with Rick was this moment with Michonne telling him that he needs her.

It’s a significant place to land cuz that statement only became truer as the show continued and it’s still true to this day. 👌🏽

#richonne #twd #the walking dead #rick grimes #michonne #richonne fandom #richonne family #s3 #not my gif

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scottstiles · 7 years ago

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i was tagged by @clarz - thank you for this! rules: answer questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 new questions of your own, tag 11 people.

i’m gonna tag some people today cuz i worked hard on this and it took a long time...whoops. no pressure XD @wellsjahasghost @tylerstitties @runicscribbles @xproskeith @anomalagous @ginevraslovegood @quicklikelight @westhallen @lozenger8 @prudence-halliwell @malecbellarke

omg i’m sorry i just realized it’s really long. this is what happens when you take 2 days to answer a tag game. feel free to skip my answers and head to the new Qs if you want! or neither! love you <3

1. Do you find it frustrating that although you know how certain things “work” (for instance, how a love interest not calling you back automatically increases your interest), you can’t help but being drawn in? Can you give me an example? (For the record, this principle describes the entirety of my complicated one-sided relationship with one Harry Edward Styles.)

Yeeeeah i feel like most things in my life approach that level of frustration tbh. I have very little self control sometimes. I’m covered in a haze of addiction, and my impulse control/temper lives on a volatile little rickety branch in my brain where there’s always a lightning storm in the distance. Okay so what I mean is (and I’m not sure i really understand the question but I’m trying), I find it extremely frustrating that I am always aware of what the outcome will be and yet I constantly put myself in the position to be frustrated and/or disappointed by it. Did I get it? Like, if we’re talkin about celebrity obsessions, or having a crush on someone (which, yeah, I guess I kinda remember what that’s like irl), I suppose I’ve come to terms with that kind of distant admiration thing being divorced from reality- I mean, it’s been a life long struggle, so it doesn’t really get to me as much anymore. Usually. The “fangirl” in me is very, very young, and I don’t really know her anymore. If I’m talking about fighting my impulses or my mental health, or like, leaving earlier so I’m not late and then angry in traffic.... that’s a bit more frustrating. I will never leave early. Why? I don’t fucking know. And it’s the Worst. Idk if that fits with your question but yeah, I know how my behavior affects my mood and I could change it, but I don’t, and I can’t help it.

2. What is the longest book or series of books you’ve ever read? Were you at a loss when you finished? Do you generally like series or prefer stand-alone books?

The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind! I love it so much. Haven’t read it in a long time, but that shit is like over 20 books and he’s still writing.. a legend. I was at a loss several times at the end of certain books that I thought were really gonna be the End, but then he made some like, spin off series a bit. So we’re good. Generally I love a good series, but there are so many stand alone books that I adore so.. I don’t know. Why am I writing so formally? This is tiresome, I’m gonna stop now. Stupid capital letters.

other series i love include everything in the tolkien universe, and of course harry potter, and also the percy jackson books. tolkien is pretty epic, to say the least, and rick riordan is fucking prolific, so hp is like, on the small side in terms of series (tho i did reread the last 2 at least a dozen times, and the audiobooks on many a long drive). also those motherfukcing maze runner books were like... there’s not that many of them, but that one i can definitely say left me at a loss. i’m still not ready to watch the last 2 movies but i hope to one day. for dylan.

3. Ever seen a therapist or gone to a support group? Did it help?

yup. i’ve seen quite a few therapists. i don’t think it’s helped in the long term, and i’m not sure it helped in the short, though there was a time i liked it because i was indulging my self analysis, but that for sure wasn’t helpful. i tried a couple cbt therapists thinking that could be a good way to go, but nothing ever really changed, so it’s hard to tell what’s going wrong- is it the therapy or is it me? idk i just think on the whole it’s got a negative color for me. i still see someone once every few weeks, but it’s a chore. this is really completely against everything i believe about therapy, btw, and i def considered becoming one when i was in university. i do think it’s beneficial, i guess just maybe not to me.

4. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken? Did you drive or were you just a passenger? What is your favorite road trip ritual, if you have any (the particular gas station snacks, the car games, the fights over music choices, the rest stops, etc.)?

oh my, well i’ve been on a few road trips in my life, but probably not as many as you americans do. the longest one was probably as a child, when i was about 3 or 4 my parents took us across the states, to the grand canyon (i don’t think we actually got there) in our mustard yellow vw bus. i had to be too small to remember but i definitely do (my dad’s a photographer so the boxes upon boxes of film helps): - sleeping on the ceiling in the bus like on a fucking shelf that stuck out above the driver seats. it was way too cool. - staying in a trailer park and walking over to this little building where there was some scary movie playing that had spinning wheels on fire (i think it was like some 80s horror version of rumpelstiltskin or something). i can literally picture a scene from it, just can’t really describe it. traumatizing. - playing on a beach somewhere (cape cod?) and having something nip at my little toes.

on other trips with friends we’ve shared the driving, but the most recent one from LA to vegas my friend wouldn’t let me touch the rental wheel. he thinks i’m a terrible driver. it was ok tho i got to take pictures instead.

i don’t really have a fave ritual since i don’t do much road “tripping” per se, but since i’ve lived in both toronto and new york i have done a shit ton of driving long distance, and i absolutely love it. my fave thing to do is make sure i have enough show tunes and stand up comedy on the playlist, and even some cds on back up, so i can lose my voice on the drive. usually i have some good ol’ tim horton’s french vanilla and a croissant on the side to keep me going, and if it’s long enough i usually stop somewhere for some french fries and/or a coke to wake up. god i love driving.

5. Which do you find increases more rapidly, your age or your idea of what age is old?

ugh. my age. i don’t feel old but that stupid time nonsense says otherwise. it needs to stop.

6. Do you talk to your animals when no one else is in the room? What do you say to them? Do you talk to animals you see on the street, at zoos, in your yard? How much of a face does an animal have to have to be talk-to-able? (For example, do rodents count? Birds? Fish? Cockroaches? WHERE’S THE LINE)

absolutely. i talk to pretty much fucking everything, animals or otherwise, i don’t care who’s in the room. there is no line. the line does not exist.

7. If they cooked, which dish of your mom’s/dad’s/parental figure is or was your favorite? Which was your least favorite? Do you often cook dishes your parents used to make for you for yourself now, as an adult?

welllllll my parents do cook, but over the years i came to really dislike a lot of my mom’s cooking.. habits, lets say. my dad is great on the bbq, and with all meats, but my mom is usually the organizer and most often the chef. her staples are chicken and brisket, sometimes salmon, in various ways. the problem is i’ve always been a picky eater, and tho my own tastes have branched out, my mom still thinks she needs to cook everything super plain and sometimes it’s kinda gross. like, she’ll make some fancy chicken for everyone else and throw a boneless breast covered in teriyaki sauce in a casserole in the oven for me. it does NOT taste good. but she can make a really great schnitzel, and brisket is hard to do wrong. i don’t make anything for myself the way she does it really, but my eating/cooking habits are all wonky anyway.

8. Do you ever check your voicemail? Do you answer calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your phone?

i check it if someone left a message, why wouldn’t you? what if it’s an emergency? in fact, my best friend does not. so i guess.. that’s a thing. i for sure do not answer any call that doesn’t show a name that i recognize- even then it’s a stretch. i have to really want/need to talk to you, otherwise it’s gonna be on my terms. my phone and i have a hate-hate relationship.

9. How often do you go to the grocery store? Are you good at it? Do you have any kind of strategy or list prepared beforehand?

i go when i run out of something i wanna eat; my store is right on the corner. i basically just do the curve around the breads/fruits/veggies if i need it, then head to the aisles which i skim from the back where the frozen/refrigerated stuff is, poking in to the aisles i need to grab the shit i’ve run out of. i eat pretty much the same way most of the time so my list is in my head (which is not always a good place, but i try hard. if i forget something i go back for it next time).

10. Do movies frequently make you cry? Do you find you’re more likely to cry in the theater or at home? When people are around or by yourself?

oh hell yes. if they’re good or i’m in a mood. i don’t think it matters much where i am if it’s public or private, the cry will come if the moment is right, and i could give no shits XD

11. Have you ever seen the sun rise? Did you kind of like the weird, slightly chilly liminal space of it, or did you just wish you were still in bed?

yes i have, in so many different contexts. mostly i watch it rise because i stay up That Late most of the time (except this time of year, i haven’t seen it in a good while), wishing my ass was finally in bed going “fuck. there’s the sun again. way to go me.” but i’ve also experienced that first bit. out in the desert after a 16k hike, sweat pouring off my skin and fire burning on the surface, hissing it away. standing on top of an ancient mountain facing the dead sea, limbs aching from climbing it with the sun racing at our backs, trying to get to the top before we missed it rise. ya. sunsets are pretty, too.

so how am i supposed to think of 11 questions?? i hope none of these are from some post i saw one time, i’m gonna try to be original without rambling too much:

1- if you could go back to one major decision you made that impacted the path of your life and change it, would you? what was it? how do you think your life would be different? or don’t answer those second two questions, if you don’t want to.

2- in what direction does your belief lean (like, you don’t have to agree with my description of it, but what fits your image best):

a single/multiple divine power that controls every facet of our existence (or like, any traditional religious worldview), with or without free will?

a harmonious interconnected universal complex that directs matter and energy but is affected by our existence in said universe?

everything is just a series of random events passing through time and everything that happens, everything we do, makes the next thing happen, but it could have happened any other way as well.

do these things make sense? idk try and figure it out.

3- on that topic, what do you think happens when we die? do we go to heaven/hell or some other religious construct? do we have a soul that sticks around? reincarnation? do we just... end, and decompose, and that’s it? what do you really think? are you afraid to find out you were wrong?

4- tell me about a moment in a movie or a show that made you go all tingly inside, like, that really special tingle, and every time you see it you get those feelings again.

5- what’s your go-to method for letting out stress?

6- what are 3 of your favorite words (english or otherwise)? why do you love them? the way they sound? the way they look? what they mean? (i usually would answer this based on sound, kinda like fave color, just a feeling).

7- this isn’t so original but i wanna know- if you could live in any other period of time, in any part of the world, what would it be and why? or would you even? would you if you could choose your station/place in society?

8- is there anything you’ve ever done or ever happened to you that you absolutely never ever could ever tell anyone about? not even your soulmate or someone who would never judge you? if so, does it bother you, or do you have it tucked away in your mind and never think about it?

9- which teen wolf cast member would you get along with best? not who would you like to be in a relationship with, but who do you think you’d have the best relationship with (romantic/platonic/otherwise)? if you don’t think you know any of them well enough... which one would you bone? boooooooooone all night long?

10- do you have a talent/skill that you feel is really underrated or underused by you or others? is there something you’re really proud of but have nobody to brag to about it because nobody you know really cares at all? brag to me.

11- do you think it’s truly possible to be happy if you never have a significant other(s) for the rest of your life? could you ever be?

THAT’S ALL FOLKS. wow i can’t believe i wrote all of that shit and you read it. way to go us. thanks again, clara!

#clarz #tagging games #personal #personal info #food mention cw #death mention cw #i can't believe how much i just fucking wrote imean.....#sorry

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l0chn3ss · 7 years ago

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I got tagged by @happyisahabit, a space fool, a pumpernickel, a baker who has yet to give me baked goods, please give me a cupcake

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

because anabell is love and anabell is life

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

uh... good question

seems like Fleeting has the most reviews and faves with a STAGGERING 26 reviews HAHAHAH

3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

@xwynn sheds a tear every time but i goddamn love it

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Yeah dude @fluffypuppy77 and @quantamtheory1 for sure, something about seeing them warms my heart tbh. and then those i can’t find on tumblr but are active on ffnet are “Whispered Winters” and “8YearsOfMaka”

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

i’ll be real, i haven’t read much fanfiction lately, but if you force me to put a name on something then i’d say any of @happyisahabit‘s works

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

they’re pretty much outdated and irrelevant now

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

mythology, fantasy, supernatural, fae, witchy, magical; because i always return to my roots

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

listen, im thankful the maker of this ask game put where you can find it, but i can’t be arsed to check xD

5 mins later: i found it, but look im so pleased Total views to Profile Page : 1,881 that’s a beautiful number. a really good number. a mirrored, symmetrical number. i like that shit. NO ONE ELSE VIEW MY PROFILE FROM NOW ON. IF THAT NUMBER CHANGES I’LL CRY.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I’ve always wanted to write obiyuki or like z.//e-ki or rusa the og ship id die for, but, one is too old shit, two im not quite there with character understanding and world competence yet but soon i’ll show up, and three the fandom is crazy and i wouldn’t touch it with a 10 meter pole. guess which.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

to echo liz, FINISHING MY WIPS???? and also writing cute smooches would be cool tho, but im too busy writing angst for that

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

i feel attacked by question eleven and i don’t like it’s tone.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

69 stories on ffnet :) hehehehehehehehehe 69. + 1 cuz i posted one more a couple of days ago. i think there’s a disproportionate amount of unfinished fics to finished fics there too. it’s like schrodinger's cat at this point to my poor subcribers: am i gunna post a new fic or update an old one? if i don’t post you’ll never find out

@rebornfromash look hehehe 69

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

don’t.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i have sticky notes, note cards, notebooks, dump docs on both google drive and word doc and notes on the iphone, slipped pieces of papers jammed into books, and friends who i just burst in and go “hi i have an idea and im going to use the ctrl f function to document my shit”

if i keep it solely in my head then it becomes lost and no longer a concept

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yes i have :) good stories, better partners

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

i think my very first time i ever went on the site was caused by @roni-westbrook, a dramione fic called harmony

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

nah

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Thirsty Monsters From The Loch. Sip Sip Bish.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

one day i took at look at myself, and i went, “are you ready to truly become fandom trash?” and an answer came almost immediately, “hell yeah”

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Write. For. Your. Self.

i can’t say that enough because if you decide to let your audience dictate what you write and how well you write and how you feel about your writing due to the lack of reception or lots, you’re just entering a world of hurt. one day you may feel great about your writing because you got over a hundred notes, only to realize that you get at most about 30 for a popular ship and good idea sometimes and can’t figure out why. one day you may feel fabulous about your fic you worked hard on and love what youve done with it, only to see no one else cared. i’ve seen so many friends in pain from this, and i know that pity reblogs and reviews from me are only going to solve a problem in the moment and not in the long run.

you gotta be your own number one fan, realize who youre writing for and why youre writing. and alternatively if you write something for just a remote group of friends or even just one person as a gift, then please realize that their response and reaction will mean more to you than hundreds of others who simply stumbled upon it. ok?

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot the skeleton most of the time, but then let the writing dictate where it’s going to go next. yeah you heard it here folks, my plot writes itself, because that’s how you get a realistic and non forced narrative

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

wow have y’all ever read that shit fic from 2015 that people took way too seriously? but that’s really it, im truly lucky

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

A C T I O N

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

this is a call out post and i don’t like this.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

number twenty four and number twenty five are conspiring against me and i feel attacked

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Absolutely not because I either do 8K in a night or 10 words in a month and there’s zero ground inbetween

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

both yes and no because i’m extremely lucky to have been able to have a great running start in 2015, but i think i plateaued as an author in terms of quality

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Fleeting is still by far my favorite story because not only is @captainpomelo a great person to work with but also i still think about it to this day, my goal for 2018 is to finish it

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

shit.fic.of.2015.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

like, better, hopefully

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

lyrical writing esp when it’s 3 am and im listening to “i will survive” on repeat

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

not writing passive voice

33. Why do you write?

it looked fun, and boy was i wrong. it’s suffering.

Lemme get those tags in shout out to everyone previously tagged plus @lucyrne @sabraeal @ilarual @sahdah @fullmetalgrigori

#about me #tagged #long post #nessingaround

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luna-orlha · 7 years ago

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Author Meme

@kakawaifu tagged me

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean.

More than a decade ago, (give and take 16 years) my favourite fandom was Chrono Cross and my favourite character was Orlha. And that is how it all started.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

Most feedback would be ‘What about Love’. Although ‘Champagne Supernova’ and ‘Friendships and Betrayals’ are a the running second.

3. What is your FFNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

idk... It’s a picture I took... and I liked it? ┐(´～｀)┌

4. Do you have any regular/favorite commenters?

I don’t really have regular commenters? I do love comments in general. Though, Clownclown has commented on quite a few fics, does that make Clownclown my regular?

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hrmm, my current favourite fic to re-read is Time flies like an arrow by Katlou303. But eh... my all time favourite ‘I was not born for death’ by @aqueenvictorious and ‘Catalysis’ by aventria and iluxia.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Well, I’m a very prolific reader... I have at least 200 bookmarks and my subscription page on both FFn and Ao3 is at least 20 pages (I’m sure Ao3′s one outstrips my FFn by double)

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

AUs that diverage canon, I suppose. I like thinking of how things would have gone if you change the slightest variable.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Well... uhm. On Ao3, about 2k people subscribe to my works, while I have like 100+ author subscriptions for both FFn and Ao3? Σ(ﾟДﾟ) how did I get so many?

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

A KakaSakuGen ABO? ┐(´～｀)┌ I find writing an ABO always gets you instantly judged, cuz ABO.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Well... I’m fairly shy when it comes to replying comments.I’m not sure how to reply to them half the time. And I’d like to update faster but I burnt myself out while trying to write more Daisy/Bucky and Daisy/Steve so I have no stamina now.. (＠Д＠；

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

YES. FILL THEM ALL UP. I don’t actually really write a particular pairing now. I like most pairings and I’m not really a romance writer so even if there was a pairing, it’s unlikely to be the main focus.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

On Ao3, 52 works in total, 41 completed works and 11 uncompleted. On FFn, 21 works in total (But if we count legacy works, works that was posted and then pulled off, it’d come up to 27), 14 completed works, 7 uncompleted.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Writing programs? like a google doc? Uhm......... Over 180 individual stories?

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

If my mind broods long enough over it, I’ll usually write it down and chuck it into the plot bunny bin.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes.

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

Hell, that’s more than a decade ago! I don’t remember how I discovered FFn, but I know I discoverd Ao3 because I looking for more stuff to read.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

Not sure? Though I doubt anyone thinks highly of my works.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Nopes.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

@ozhawkauthor was very kind and inspirational when I returned to write and helped me out a lot. @denilmo is the best too. She’s always full encouragement when I get stuck.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Make sure you write a plot outline no matter how vague it is. It helps to anchor you while you write and that makes it easier when you get stuck at somewhere along the way.

Never be afraid to write. We all started somewhere to get to where ever we are now. If you don’t start, you’ll never improve. =]

And lastly, when taking criticism, it’s easy to fall into the ‘but I wrote it intentionally like that’ ego streak. Just remember to wrestle that ego down and look at the criticism constructively. If you never take criticism, you’ll never improve.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both. I have a huge draft document that loosely states my objectives in each arc as well as the character+overall story development points so that I know where I have been and where I’m going. But the in-between is rather loose and vague.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yes. If I disregard the crazy G.o.D reviewer (which I’m 99% sure is a closet kakasaku fan considering how quickly he/she comments) The Skyeward fans had... well... harrassed me on my fics. Well.. I’m not proud to say it, but I caved and compromised in the end. G.o.d has nothing on the skyeward craziness level.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

I will never write smut... Well I wrote one, to prove to myself that I could... which basically proved that I couldn’t. (;￣ー￣川 And I’m not a romantic person... so I have difficulty writing romance. Which is ironic... since WaL is all romancy.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Bones beneath her feet, a Papashi and some Shikasaku.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I have plans to finish BBHF but I might be picking up another fic to write at the same time.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Usually it’s a weekly goal.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Definitely. (´つヮ⊂) Considering I started when I was 10, there was a huge leaps in style.

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Hmm... I have a few favourites... I can’t pick one, so instead, I’ll offer a few? A thousand times Good night and Road of Hearts is my current favourite. Burning skies, Burning Hope is one of my older favourites but it’s not very popular because Juuni Kokki is a very small and old fandom.

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Is it bad that I have no least favourite? I usually don’t post works that I’m not proud off, so I don’t have a work that I dislike no matter how old it may be...

30. Where do you yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I don’t know? I’m working on my original novel, well. I wrote finished book 1 and am working on book 2 at the moment. As well a new original novel. So that’s 3 original works in total. So I might make the change eventually, but I do like writing fanfics.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

It’s pouring emotions into it? Not sure what to say about this.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Pacing? The amount of effort you put in to make everything roll off your tongue? Contrary to popular belief, we don’t just sit down and write a 2k chp in 2 hours.

33. Why do you write?

Writing is a sense of release for me. I write about the emotions that I bottle up and send them out hoping someone would hear my unsaid messages. And also it’s a form of escape for me.

Tagging: @ozhawkauthor , @aqueenvictorious, @backwardsandinhighheels , @mouseymightymarvellous @iamartemisday

#tag game

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 7 years ago

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8 things finishing my 8th book taught me

*I wrote this post on the 16th of October, for the record!*

Hey People of Earth!

So just like in the post I wrote up in January when I finished my seventh novel, this is kind of nuts to say, and I didn't think I’d be writing this for another month, but uh.

I finished my eighth book.

jskwiclksalwkmevlqk

I’m going to quote past me in that particular post (which you can read HERE) because if this isn't scary accurate, I dunno what is:

So I kind of made a stupid, somewhat fleeting goal this past Friday, as I usually do. And that was to finish this book at all costs.

It doesn't *really* surprise me that that I finished my seventh novel, and then my eighth under the same parameters, lol. (Both were finished on Sunday nights too, I believe?)

I genuinely can’t believe this book is over. It’s been eight months of writing this novel (HA eight months for my eighth book) and I can say I’m genuinely so sad it’s over. I walked around today feeling like I lost an important part of myself which is really dramatic seeming as though I just finished the book, but I hope someone out there relates.

I started this book right after finishing my seventh novel (book four in this series), and I’ll be honest--I was so scared about writing this book. Book seven gave me a really hard time, and I almost thought I’d made a mistake in a) continuing this story and b) taking it in the direction I did. I couldn't evade fear when writing this novel. Starting it took me a while because it was so nerve-wracking to think it could be as much of a struggle as the last. I didn't want to fail because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of that rut, and then end up with an unfinished series.

Annnnnnd then I started my Doing the Write Thing updates, and all of that worry faded a bit. I started DtWT at a little under 10k words, and reached a little under 160k through that series. It kept me accountable. It excited me, and more than anything, motivated me. I know I mentioned this in DtWT #61, but thank you again for supporting that series so much, and for reading those posts. Genuinely, it means a lot to share my work with you, and to see my work improve as each post passes. I really don't know if I would’ve finished this novel without that series. It really kicked me into the gear of writing again, and gahhhh, thank you again.

FOSTERED #5 houses some of my best work, but most importantly, taught me so, so much, and so, here I bring to you, eight things finishing my eighth novel taught me.

1. I really care about writing.

This is my eighth book, and I can confidently say this is the only one in which I cared about the writing from start to finish. (Sounds strange, but I’ll explain.)While writing is a lot of things, at its core, writing is writing, and it took me eight books to really immerse myself in words and enjoy using them as tools to create something beautiful. I crave beautiful prose—a desire I didn’t really feel until writing this book. Making sentences read and sound like art is what I strive for now.

From books 1-6, writing wasn't my top priority. Telling a story no matter the quality was my priority, and while that isn't wrong, I think working with that mindset for so long wasn't becoming enough for me. I needed to re-evaluate, and really focusing on the craft of writing, rather than storytelling was what I needed. Of course, writing also includes good storytelling, but I feel, looking back on it, that until halfway around book seven, I didn't even think about the writing. I didn't edit it all that much, and most importantly, didn't care about writing. I liked words, yeah, and enjoyed creating the random nice sentence here and there, but I didn't view it as something I could use to create art. Now, good writing means a lot to me, and while I don't think my writing is perfect, and could use improvement, I’m so happy with the improvement I’ve made and the love of actual writing I’ve procured start-to-finish through it. :)

2. Sometimes acceptance takes time.

Book four of this series (my seventh novel) took me a very, very long time to accept, and even after I’d written it, I wasn’t confident in the route I’d taken it. I still had the same worries when writing book five and it took a whole lot of crying to realize that I’m very proud of how these last two books turned out. I’m an emotional person, but don't often show my emotions, so it’s sort of funny looking back how much I cried when writing this book, HA. I had a lot of worries about this novel, and my anxiety was eating me alive every time I wrote it. That was my issue in the beginning, but I found, the more time went on in writing this book, the more I accepted it, and the more I grew to really love it. So, if you’re in a position like me, and you’re seriously not feeling your book, sometimes time is the best remedy.

3. Moments like these are the ones you need to cherish.

When I was writing the last paragraph or so of this book, I got really emotional (lol how do I say that without sounding melodramatic). I didn’t cry or anything, but it felt like I was losing something. It was bittersweet. I’ve never felt this way before when I’ve finished a novel. It’s honestly usually been me moving onto the next book the same day or the next day, or feeling content.

But this… was something else. It was letting go of something I loved so much. I learned through this book that every time you write your book is time you should cherish. It’s something you spend a chunk of your life on. Moments happen around your book, and your book is there with you to experience them. This book in particular holds such a strong place in my heart because it gave me--as cheesy as it sounds lol rip--some new hope.

I learned to love the book I write when I write it even if it’s a pain. To cherish my time with this book, and to take my time. It hurt to finish it, honestly, I guess it’s particularly angsty for me to say I feel this grief for something that hasn't left me. I’m so glad it’s done, but it was like closing the door to a chapter I didn’t want to end. It had to end in that spot, rightfully so, but I wanted to hang onto it for as long as I could. I genuinely appreciate every moment I had to write this book, looking back. And I’m so happy I learned so much through it.

4. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing.

This sort of bounces off that last one, but this is a lesson I learned the hard way. My average drafting time before I wrote my seventh book was 3 months. This book, as I mentioned, took me eight months, and before then, the longest it’d taken me to write a novel was six months, and that was the hardest book I’d ever written. A big issue I had when I was writing book four in this series was that I felt as if taking three months longer than my average to draft was a telling sign that I was struggling with the book. I can pretty much say writing this novel was a bit of a breeze (it had its moments, but overall), and taking my time helped in terms of quality. A disclaimer, the time it takes to write a book varies from writer to writer, so this is completely personal, but I feel like taking a little longer writing this book realllyyyyyyy amped it up in the prose department.

Not to roast past me, but yooooo my older books lacked a lottttttttt of literary merit, like where is the good writing cuz I see none, lol. Not to say this book is amazing and the writing is excellent, but I do see a substantial improvement from my older stuff. So yes, initially when I started writing this book I was keen on finishing it in three months and rushing it so I could just be done and write something else. But as time went on, I realized that there is no rush. Even though I constantly feel at rush in my life (for mental health reasons I don't want to get into now, but if you’re curious, let me know!), I learned to take it slow. Enjoy the writing process, and create something at the end of the day, regardless of how long it takes.

5. I’m growing up.

A common question I posed while writing this book to myself and to my sister was well where did all the fun times go? Books 1-3 in this story are pretty juvenile—more banter between characters, ‘missions’, and so on, but as I aged, I found those things dried up and turned into just straight melancholy? (lol) I don’t have many if any fun times in book five, not in the sense I defined fun times as at least in the past. This series has spanned five books, and three years of my life, so I’ve done a lot of growing up since writing the first one. Its message and morals have gone from super obvious to pretty ambiguous, and the lines of morality have been blurred quite a bit (which I enjoy incorporating into my writing now). Right and wrong aren’t as easily spotted (and tbh this book is totallllyyyyy not suited for a YA audience lol content is hella graphic but), and a lot of it is rooted in the darkest corners of the human mind. I don't know if 13-year-old me would’ve expected these books to wind up in this path, but 16-year-old me is cool with where it is. I left a lot of me in these books, and pretty much grew up with them. It’s strange to have captured so much growth of myself personally in these novels, but this is already something I've learned to cherish.

6. I might actually be a true Pantser (but we’ll see)

So if any of you have been following this blog since the good ol’ 2015 days, it’s common knowledge that I made it clear I was a Pantser. I pantsed everyyyythiiiiingggg. In recent years, I’ve decided to start outlining projects I plan on publishing (for the most part, excluding ALANNIS) just so I can see what I’m getting into before I start. The FOSTERED series, since it’s all personal stuff, isn’t going to be published. I pants these books, but occasionally, and I found this happened a lot more with book five, I’ll write up ‘scene screenplays’ which are basically just the bones of a scene.

OH did I find out that writing with a guideline does noooottttt work for me. I’m not going to say anything here is permanent, but I pretty much realized my writing with my outline VS without one is drastically different... I’m not actually happy about this discovery to be honest, as I've already started outlining a couple projects, and the struggle was so real when writing with an outline for this novel. I really do hope this is not the case, and was just subjective to this book, but yes, this was a major lesson I picked up on when writing this particular book (and I reallllllllyyyyyyyy hope this changes)!

7. I like writing really sad, dark things

This is sorta morbid, I’m sorry, but I’m really into writing all things dark and upsetting and overall, enjoy a darker tone in my writing. I noticed, if I had any ‘happier’ scene, it’d take me a little longer to write/I had more trouble writing it. Don’t know what that says about me, but as someone who is sort of naturally on the darker side (edgy af the edge is real), it makes sense that I do enjoy the not so pleasant sides of the mind, and life. Or, I’m just really angsty, and angst (poetic angst in this book, I’ll say) is all you need. Love is all you need more like angst is all you need.

*angst*

I don't think there’s anything particularly wrong with enjoying writing darker things, and I noted that I often struggle writing joy. Honestly this is just sad, lol. (But I mean look at my boi Edgar, he wrote lots of dark things and I mean that's my dude now speaking of Edgar, the epigraph of this novel [which I’m including, even if the others don’t because epigraphs are aesthetic goals] is an Edgar quote and Edgar is my bro.)

8. I love this book so much, and if I could go back and tell myself I would have when I started it, I would.

I worried a lot when I started this novel. I worried it would fail, that it would get nowhere, that it would end unfinished, that I’d taken it the wrong route, that it would take too long to write, that I wouldn’t enjoy what I was writing, that the plot was dumb, that I focused on the wrong things, that the first chapter wasn’t strong enough, and a whole other laundry list of worries pretty common between writers. I really would go back to my past self and tell her not to worry. To tell her that just because she wrote this book and said she wouldn't, doesn't mean the product would be shitty. I’m genuinely proud of this novel, and I don't know if I’ve said that in a long time. I’m happy I wrote it. Happy I poured eight months of my life into it, and most importantly, am happy it taught me so many valuable lessons. I’m happy I got to connect with you on another level through it, and happy I carried it with me through this stage of my life. It saw my hatred, and my worst moments, my great moments, my worry, and every other emotion I also tried to share on here. Books are books, but this one felt like a friend. I’m sad to lose my friend now, but I’m thankful for the time we spent together. This got all sappy again, but yes. Thank you, book. I will miss writing you, lol.

So that’s it for today’s post. I had a blast writing this. It’s always a nice reflective period to go back in time and really point out what exactly I learned through this journey. I think this novel shaped me a lot as a writer, and I’m happy to move into other projects without it, because I feel like I know a lot more than I did before. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for reading through everything that happened in these last eight months. I truly appreciate everything you give me, and couldn't express my thanks enough.

Aaaaand before I leave, a mega thanks to my dudes who continuously supported this journey: @sarahkelsiwrites, @sssoto and @shaelinwrites for listening, encouraging, and teaching me so many things about writing.

See you in the next one. :)

--Rachel

#Writing

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