#They just have something weird and complex going on

[bitchqueenofthebitchsquad]

The excuse of "what about the mentally ill or traumatized teens" doesn't sit right with me. Fanfic is a performative art, you are showing off for an audience. It's sharing, it's storytelling, it's an interaction between you and other people. Yes, some people are driven to write as a way to manage their pain. Totally get it. But why choose a venue to process your mental anguish that is public unless you are willing to face public feedback? The same way I am mindful of other people's feelings in a conversation, I am mindful of other people when I write something I'm going to share with them.

Of course the nuance is that sometimes as a writer (even just a hobbyist) it's worth telling the girls (girls neuter) things they don't want to hear or that they don't agree with. When you do, you might get some comments where people express their disagreement. Sometimes people are responding to your writing in bad faith, or they are leaving needlessly harsh feedback, or they are offering a critique that is simply wrong. It sucks that that can happen. I think that, when we are audience members, we should give the artist some grace. But grace to me is not the same as "remain totally silent" it's more like "be kind when we are being honest (within reason)".

Further nuance, racism and ethnocentrism are never valuable and never worth sharing with an audience. It's going to happen, inevitably but I'd say it's never useful to the readers.

Naivety is definitely an excuse but how the hell are these kids going to learn if we don't (gently) let them know? I was a mentally ill American kid writing fanfic as a form of expression and exploration. It benefitted me greatly to have my assumptions about the scope of the world and about the universality of my own perspective challenged. I think we need to give the kiddos a little more credit for their resilience. For the most part, they can handle sincere and helpful criticism (I'm aware that most criticism in fandom world is not sincere or helpful but I'm saying I think that sincere helpful criticism is good even for traumatized teenagers). I work with kids and teens. I know that some of them face incredibly difficult home lives and writing is their outlet. I also know that they can be wildly ethnocentric, racist, homophobic, patriarchal, transphobic, nationalist, literally anything fucked up, etc. and will continue to be until someone points out what those things are and what the alternatives are. I also get that teenage egos (like adult egos) are as fragile as glass and how you give your criticism matters a lot towards whether they will receive it. However the antidote to their fragility and trauma is not to insulate them from criticism imo.

Letting kids know that there are people living outside the US empire who have inner worlds just as complex as ours and cultures just as weird and interesting as ours, will only help their world building and their writing.

Also let's not forget the audience. There are plenty of unwell teenagers reading those ethnocentric, goofy, poorly written works who are impacted by them. I consumed so much racism, misogyny and homophobia in fandom spaces even as I was writing as a way to deal with the kind of racism, homophobia, and misogyny I was experiencing at school and at home. I rarely see the plight of teenagers like myself brought up when the "what about the mentally ill teens" argument comes up. And just as the mentally ill teens don't know to write decent world building without scaffolding neither did I know to avoid racist tropes without encountering them first. Also the kiddos are not tagging their own works "barely considered, generic, derivative, fantasy" so idk how reasonable it is to just tell people to avoid it.

To take a relatively innocent example: If I make all the cuisine in my fantasy world based on what I can find in my local grocery store as a US American then what does that imply about the world? Why are the characters eating blueberries sweetened with sugar if I've implied the time period is somewhere in the 1300s? There might be a totally valid justification but let's all be real, there usually isn't.

I've kinda lost my train of thought here.

TLDR: I do think that kids should be allowed to make mistakes or do things poorly but I don't know why we shouldn't let them know to do better.

Actually when I get so conscious about historical *accuracy* is not so much about being a cinemasins nitpicker but actually because I really, really enjoy when I read or watch something set in another time and place (maybe even another world) and it DOES feel like another time and place. If your historical novel has your characters just acting like liberal Usamericans from 2010-something or your fantasy series has all the electronics of modern life justified by magic, why bother reading, I can just get on my phone and get the same experience.

[glitter-stained]

I know some people argue that robin!Jason and Dick were never close post-crisis pre n52 because they only interacted a couple of times in canon and I understand that due to Dick living away when they first met they wouldn't be as close as the relationship Dick has with some of his other siblings, but I would also wish we would take in account that for all three of Jason's years, we have like 30 issues of Jason's run. That's exceedingly small. We have batman #416, we have that one moment in teen titans (i forgot the issue) of jason working with the team, and i think the ski trip we found out later about was included in the same canon*. (also, i do feel like even if you didn't know/like eachother before going on a ski trip together by the end of the ski trip this will have changed, and the picture definitely felt like they were getting along even though Jason's face in the picture was comically weird.) I'm not sure if there were other interactions shown or mentioned, but hey, 2-3/30ish isn't a bad score at all! If we're going 3/30, that's a whole tenth of Jason's robin era.

(And I'm talking about their relationship from Dick's pov since it's the one in question here but it's clear to me in Jason's run, even post-crisis, that Dick is often on his mind and important in his life (with a certain inferiority complex the little siblings of very cool people know well) with stuff like I think Batman #410 or Jason is Legends.)

And even more importantly, 30ish is extremely short for three damn years. That's ten issues per year! Do we assume that Jason was sitting on a shelf for the whole time he's not working with batman in the comics? Do we assume batman was sitting on a shelf twiddling his thumbs all that time during those three years he appears, either? It's perfectly logical to make the assumption that Bruce and Jason were still going out as goddamn Batman and Robin even when it's not shown on screen and having a relationship and interacting together even when it's not seen. In fact it's the most reasonable and logical assumption even. It's obvious Jason and Bruce's interactions extend past what was shown on screen so why wouldn't Dick and Jason? We know from Dick's relationship to his death that Dick cared about Jason. We know how much his death impacted him. Regardless of the (now retconned) terrible mess that was their relationship after Jason came back, they had a relationship, and it was good, and how deep it went is up to interpretation but it doesn't cheapen or lessen any of Dick's relationship with his other siblings to acknowledge that (like, seriously, even though some of them might view it as such in the story, dick's love isn't a prize that can only go to the one blorbo to win the competition. Personally I don't see Robin Jason being his favourite, and that's fine. Probably since, as I only have one sibling to be weird about, this is one aspect of Dick and Jason's relationship that I don't project onto them.)

There's a difference between saying "those are the only canon interactions between Dick and Robin!Jason that we know of" and saying "those are the only interactions that happened between Jason and Dick when Jason was Robin", especially if the next sentence is going to be something like "read a comic". I want to insist that I'm not saying that they have to have been super close. All I'm saying is I don't see, with the knowledge I personally have of canon and the retcons I choose to disregard (because of terrible writing), why considering that they were close wouldn't be canon compliant.

Leeway, nuance and up to interpretation stuff are fun and should matter for evaluating the level of canon compliance of your own headcanons, and I think it's especially important when trying to police other people's interpretation of canon: are you certain their interpretation is fanon and you're correcting it with the right canon, or is it a case of two headcanons clashing in the blank space between comic pages?

I just found it strange to never see it taken in account in the sometimes pretty emphatic takes I saw on the debate around their relationship, so those are my two cents on the matter. All this to say, [theatre joke in coming], when it comes to Dick and Jaybin, we could all stand to be more chill.

* btw i'm excluding dixon's nightwing year one from this conversation because I hate how it manages to shit on every one of the characters i've seen him write in it so violently and also fuck dixon, my jason comes from post-crisis not that crappy weirdo retcon.

[knight-a3]

Heavenbound AU

Masterpost

Angel Dust "Angie"

So I can avoid confusion between Angel and angels, his stage name is Angel Dust but he goes by Angie casually.

Side note: I'm too ace for this guy, yikes. Don't mind me clutching my pearls.

Spider family:

More notes under the cut to reduce clutter. There's info about the whole Spider family and some info about the Mafia as well.

Angie's redesign took me a while to nail down. I looked at other people's designs for inspiration, but nothing felt right. I wanted to give his head shape more structure, but it's too iconic to significantly change. Many people added spider fangs but I think they always look too cluttered and ugly. I also wanted the right balance of masculine and feminine for his outfit.

I am not a fan of heterochromia in character design, unless there is a reason or it's used sparingly. Angie's design is complicated enough with the gold tooth, extra eyes and arms, and body patterns that the heterochromia would just be too much.

Instead of giving him fangs that jut out like a real spider, I chose to just give him a main pair of fang-like teeth, while the rest are smaller.

It didn't make sense to me why he's able to retract his tertiary set of arms, beyond simplifying for animation, but I also do not want to manage all of them all the time, so I'm keeping that little ability. I'm justifying it with the idea that he was only ever somewhat interested in the family business, so he had less of a hand in it than his Pop or Arackniss(both of which cannot retract their extra limbs at all). I also wanted the sets of arms to have a hierarchy in how he uses them. Also didn't like the shoulders canon gives his secondary arms. They look weird to me.

The main set has 5 fingers on each hand and are relatively normal, because they're the equivalent of his human arms. The secondary set is a little smaller and a little more bug-like, with 4 fingers. The tertiary/retractable set are smaller and have 3 fingers.

I tried giving him a spider butt, but I couldn't wrap my head around how he would wear any type of pants. Not that he would be opposed to going around nude, but I just wasn't interested in that.

Casual:

I remember reading somewhere that Angel likes to dress more comfy rather than provocatively outside of work. So I decided his work outfits are the skimpy, sexy stuff. His main outfit is his typicall out-in-the-town fashionable stuff, which tends to cover him up more(gotta pay for those goods). And lounging clothes are just purely for comfort.

Main outfit-

I really wanted something that alluded to his mobster background. He may not really be involved of all that now, but it's still a part of him and that would linger. For as much as he modernizes, he's still a product of his time. Anyway, that's why I gave him pinstripe pants and a blazer.

I didn't want to lean too far into either masculine or feminine styles. He is undoubtedly feminine, but he was raised in an environment where suits and violence was the fashion. I actually searched for 40s gangster costumes for women, counting on the fact I'd find the silly sexy costumes so I could get ideas for a more feminine spin of the classic mobster.

I tried a boob window shirt for awhile, but it didn't let me show enough chest fluff. So I traded it for a V neck, which can work for both masculine and feminine styles.

Eventually I settled on a crop top blazer, since it gives a sort of suit jacket vibe while being feminine. I preferred the short gloves from the pilot, at least on his main arms, and used the longer style from the show for his secondary arms.

In canon, his "skin" color and the white of his clothes just don't have enough contrast. So I used more pink, and had the color of his fluff be a different hue than his shirt. I liked the stripes on his jacket before, but I didn't want to add any more complexity, especially when I already committed to the pinstriped pants.

Overall, I like this outfit for him. Maybe that has something to do with my personal tastes, but I think it suits him.

Body markings:

He wasn't a star until Val came around in the 70s, so he wouldn't have been quite so glam before that. He still had more mobster habits. I used his older, pre-pilot, Zoophobia design as inspiration, which used a low saturated purplish color. I thought it struck a nice balance between his mobster roots, and his later glam style.

I wanted to make the pattern something easy for me to remember. The heart design got pushed lower down because I needed more room for his chest fluff. His hands don't have anything because I didn't like how it looked with his lounge clothes. The stripes on his arms reference the stripes on his canon, pilot, and pre-pilot jackets. The stripes on his legs represent garters(suspenders that hold up socks or stockings).

Human- Anthony "Tony"

Many human versions of him that I've seen make him look too modern. I think they would absolutely work for a modern human au, but not for the 1940s. So this is my take on what he would have looked like while he was alive. Hair coloring in the 40s was always done professionally, and primarily used by women, and they usually didn't want it to be obvious. Bleached hair on a man(especially with naturally dark hair) would be far too much to maintain discreetly. He hadn't publicly embraced his feminine side while he was alive. His family was Catholic, and being gay was a no-no. But murder was okay for some reason. Don't question the mobster logic.

His brother and sister knew he was gay, parents did not. Arackniss was too tired to care, and Molly was supportive. She would take him to be her "bodyguard" when she would go out and do fun things, but it was partly an excuse she provided for him to do gay things.

Angie had mixed feelings about his participation in the mob. Sometimes it was fun, other times he'd really rather be partying. But he was a made man and swore an oath of loyalty. He can't just back out.

He spent his free time with drugs, guns, and hot guys. Then died of drug overdose in his early-mid 30s in 1947.

He wasn't publicly out as gay until Hell. His parents hated it and basically disowned him when they found out. But why should Angie care at this point? He's already in Hell. So he just parted ways with them(technically the oath of loyalty ends at death. It's not like the Mafia can really kill him for leaving now, since they all just regenerate anyway) and has kept in sporadic contact with his siblings. They aren't close anymore.

Spider Family:

Ma and Pops were mostly because I wanted to play with character design. And since they have no official designs, I had more room to play with it.

The whole family became spiders because they were involved with the "web of crime" that is The Mafia. Family relation does not automatically mean sinners will look similar. They usually don't.

Pops (real name Enrico, the Italian version of Henry. Nickname "Big Cig". Almost every mobster listed on wikipedia had a nickname) inherited the position of mob boss from a relative. I'm not thinking hard about historically accurate crime families, so this is a fictional family that we will pretend had a significant presence. He died not long after Anthony, in the early 1950s in his mid 60s via gang violence. He never managed to get to the same level of power after his death. He's a minor Overlord at best, but does hold some influence.

In Zoophobia, Angel and Arackniss had a dad named Henroin. A play on "heroin". So when considering a real name for him, I searched for a variant of Henry that sounded more Italian. I designed him before I knew he had a design, but I wasn't exactly impressed by Henroin's design, so I totally ignored it anyway.

Design-wise, I wanted to go for a stereotypical mob boss vibe, and it lends itself well to the more bulky, crustacean look. The resemblance to Mr. Waternoose was unintentional. He cannot retract any extra limbs.

Spider traits- I wanted to give everyone varying degrees of spider traits, partially determined by their level of Mob involvement and how dangerous they are. Pa is venomous(through his clawed hands), has super strength(because spiders are proportionally strong compared to their size), can super jump(cuz jumping spiders is the theme), and can summon a couple of guns. He's too large to crawl on walls and can't spin webs.

Ma was always at Pop's side, helping with the less violent aspects like finances. She did her share of poison murders as well. Ma died alongside Pop and is still at his side. She's arguably the more dangerous of the two at this point. She looks easy to take advantage of, but it turns out she has potent venom.

I didn't have anything canon to go off of, so she's technically an OC. I haven't put a ton of thought into her name, but I think I'll just go with Maria. Molly is named after her, I guess.

Design- Had to go with a femme fetale mob wife. The hourglass motif is because of her venomous nature, and not for any husband-killing. She can retract her extra limbs, because she is more dangerous than she initially seems.

Spider traits- she's more venomous than Pa(through her extra limbs), can wall crawl and super jump with her extra limbs, and spin webs(to ensnare prey. I think it might come from her hair bun and/or mouth, but I don't want to think too hard about it.). She's actually the more dangerous of the two, partially because she appears less threatening, and partially because the way her extra limbs are set up gives her more reach and agility. She cannot summon guns, and she doesn't have super strength.

Arackniss (real name is Giovanni, Italian version of John. Goes by Jon. Nicknamed "Little Cig", "Don Jon") worked as the underboss until Pa died, then took over as mob boss, making sure Molly was taken care of. He died in a shootout with police in the 1960s. He was around 50ish. He is on speaking terms with their parents, and sometimes works with them. He's tired and very addicted to coffee and cigarettes.

Apparently an old QnA revealed his real name to be Jonathan. Not sure if it's still true, but I didn't find anything more reliable. I found no examples of any historical mobster named Jonathan, despite there being many many Johns/Giovannis.)

Design- I wanted him to be unable to retract limbs, unlike Angie, but also wanted to avoid drawing all of them. So I used his overcoat to cover them, and he habitually keeps his hands in his pockets. Again, he can't retract any limbs because he was heavily involved with the mob. I changed his eyes from red to yellow, because I felt the yellow suited him better and reduces the overuse of red in general.

Spider traits- He can wall crawl, has super strength(which most don't expect because he's pretty scrawny), has super jump, and can summon guns. He cannot spin webs, and his venom is non-lethal and inflicted via bite(which isn't super useful to him).

Anthony/Tony "Wild Tony" was a soldier in the Mafia. He could have been a Capo(caporegime) if he was more committed. But he had a tendency to party and goof off. Technically, membership of the mob ends through death. Being the first to die, he was separated from the mob and didn't care to recommit. Angie partied hard and enjoyed gun violence, until Valentino came along. Valentino swept him off his feet with promises of fame, fortune, and love, convincing Angie to sell his soul.

Design- already covered most notes, but for organization: he can retract one set of extra limbs because he was involved with the mafia, but he was lower level.

Spider traits- He has less than the previous three. So he can super jump, spin webs(via mouth...he can make it kinky), and summon guns. He technically can wall crawl, but not for very long, and he usually uses it for things like pole dancing. He is not venomous at all, and does not have super strength.

In canon, Molly is in heaven, but I don't find it likely because of how the Mafia works, so she's in Hell now. (Real name is Marietta, which is an Italian version of Mary, and Molly is a nickname)She was the spoiled daughter and knew about the family's criminal activity. She knew, profited, and didn't care. She's guilty by association. Anyway, I'm gonna say she died about 10 years after Anthony, approx 1957, around the age of 40. Haven't thought too hard about how she died. Then she probably went and found some powerful, hot guy to sell her soul to. Not sure.

Design- I was going to give her an extra set of legs, but I couldn't wrap my head around the anatomy of it and just decided to stick with extra arms. She can retract all her limbs because she was "hands off" with the mafia.

Spider traits- she has the fewest because she was the least involved with the mafia. Aside from the obvious physical traits, she can only spin webs(because it is symbolically more domestic. Also via ponytail and/or mouth, but I don't want to think hard about it). She cannot wall crawl, or super jump, has no venom or super strength.

The Mob:

The Mafia is very patriarchal, so all members are men, as women were never formally initiated. But women were still significantly involved in a variety of ways. Most often by instilling mafia culture to the kids, drug trafficking, finances, or economics. Some helped as launderers, couriers, shills(con artist), drug traffickers, informants, and other typically non-violent roles. Some acted as proxies for their husbands in prison(which is becoming increasingly common in modern times).

Quick chart for Mafia organization, via the FBI.

Simple rundown of terminology because I didn't know the difference between Mob and Mafia, and I've now done too much research to not write it down in a relevant place:

mob- a group of people, usually disorderly

gang- crime group, ranging from loosely organized street gangs to structured syndicates.

syndicate- group of individuals or organizations that unite for a common goal. Can be legal or illegal.

cartel- (type of syndicate) a group of individuals or organizations that collude to control a business market via supply and demand. Can be legal or illegal.

The Mafia- originated in Sicily. Ethnically Italian gangs, referred to as "families" that may or may not have actual familial relationships. Characterized by a distinct hierarchal structure.

The Mob- the American extension of The Mafia. (ie. it's the same thing)

The Commission- the alliance of the various Mafia/Mob families. Older generation members, called "Mustache Petes", only worked with fellow Italians, sometimes even only Sicilians.

The National Crime Syndicate- multi-ethnic alliance of various criminal organizations. Most prominent being The Mafia/The Commission and Jewish syndicates.

All somewhat organized crime groups are gangs. Crime syndicates have a higher level of organization, and cartels deal in specific businesses. Eventually the terms mafia and mob were applied to other ethnic gangs that operated similarly. Such as the "Jewish Mob" and "Russian Mafia". But THE Mafia and THE Mob refers to Italian gangs.

(Jan 28, 2025- fixed the tags)

[heylittleriotact]

WIP Wednesday (except it’s not)

I was tagged by @emmg

I’m having weird writer’s block and am struggling reaaaally hard with concentrating on things for any length of time right now. I blame the state of the world. I dunno. I would like it to go away so I can go back to hyperfixating on sexualizing an old necromancer in horny peace.

I’m still getting over strep and can’t organize myself to tag people, so if you want to share your current WIP please do, and tag me! I want to see!!

Anyway, here’s my WIP of Chapter 4 of my Emmrook vampire AU. Amina wakes up the morning after dying, snuggled up cozily in bed with Emmrich, and feeling relatively fine - she’s just really fucking hungry.

The optimistic trill of a blackbird roused her, eyes snapping open at the sound that pulled her from her slumber: had Emmrich left the window open and some poor bird had found itself trapped in the room?

It sang again, effervescent and bright, greeting the dawn eagerly.

Amina craned her neck: the thick curtains were drawn shut, blocking out the dim sunlight that outlined them - there was no breeze or movement to indicate a window had been left open.

The blackbird’s song continued as though it was perched on the headboard of their bed.

Grunting sleepily, she let her head fall back to the pillow and snuggled back into Emmrich again, returning to the comfort of a dozy, early morning heap of warm limbs and messy hair.

He was still soundly asleep, snoring softly, deep breaths falling from his slightly open mouth. She hugged his arms to her and kissed the back of his hand as he slumbered, turning over thoughts of a terrible nightmare in her mind.

It had to have been a nightmare, right?

Her stomach rumbled in the dark, scraping its talons against the lining of her stomach beseechingly.

Ignoring it, she flipped over and draped her leg over Emmrich’s thigh, nuzzling into his neck and the warmth there. Inhaling deeply, she made a low noise in the back of her throat: he smelled divine. Had he always smelled this good? Of course he used expensive soaps and boasted an exquisite collection of fragrances and colognes: she’d never known Emmrich to smell anything but deliberately nice, but…

She swallowed the saliva that pooled in her mouth, and placed her nose against the side of his neck again, inhaling deeply.

Ohhhh…

Arousal flickered to life between her thighs, warming her further when his scent ripped through her again - olfactory decadence that coaxed a questioning whimper from her: aniseed and wet leather, something clean but complex not unlike petrichor but different - darker; and a salty, coppery tang that brought to mind echoes of vanilla and sex that made her mouth water even more.

He was hard, his cock pressing against her lower belly. Washe dreaming of her? Dreaming of fucking her passionately, uttering filthy words and vulgar poetry into her ears as he so often loved to do?

The blackbird’s morning song became a distant annoyance as the sound of blood rushing filled her ears instead, and she undulated gently against her beloved, revelling in the feeling of his familiar bare skin against hers.

She filled herself with his scent again, feeling somewhat ashamed of how utterly aroused she was by it. Not understanding why.

The urge to wake him was difficult to resist: they could make sweet gentle love, quiet and languid as they twined under the sheets, limbs curling around one another and spreading like graceful tendrils of ivy as it grew over stone, silent but for their shared breath and sleepy gasps of pleasure…

Her lips found smooth, heated skin and the hypnotizing pulse that dwelled there - she felt it pulsating against her tender kiss, and she moaned softly when her tongue flicked against him, her mouth filling with moisture again as she tasted that same enchanting aroma on her tongue.

She sat back on her knees for a moment to shift her hair over her shoulder before returning to his neck, fully intending to kiss her fiancé awake before treating him to a warm, cozy orgasm to start his day.

Her tongue darted past her lips to moisten them absent-mindedly and she flinched, letting out a small cry and lifting her hand reflexively to the sharp pain radiating from her mouth. She felt the familiar sensation of blood beading and dripping down her fingers, over the back of her hand, and heard it pattering against the bedspread.

Drip, drip, drip…

“Ow… fuck…”

She frowned into the darkness, and sucked her lower lip into her mouth, drawing away the blood oozing from the reasonably deep laceration that had appeared there.

“Darling?”

Emmrich had woken, and he stirred tiredly beside her, a large, comforting hand skimming up her thigh and her abdomen until it found her wrist. “Are you all right?”

“I… yes. I just… I think my lip is bleeding…”

She could make out the shift of his features in the dark; brow furrowing as he slid up onto an elbow and the candles on the bedside table blinked to life with a gesture.

“Let me see…” he muttered, voice still thick and raspy with sleep.

She leaned closer as he sat up, bathing her face in the dim orange candlelight so Emmrich could examine the hurt. “See?” She prompted, opening her mouth as his hands drew near so he could get a clear view of the injury.

Emmrich let out a yelp and yanked his hands away, the fear in his eyes piercing Amina’s soul deeper than any weapon ever could as he recoiled from her.

“What?!” She demanded, panic finding her. “What is it?”

He didn’t answer right away, but managed to collect himself enough to sit forward again, his thumb meeting her upper lip as slid it up over her teeth on one side of her mouth, then the other.

He swore softly - a reaction that did absolutely nothing to calm Amina.

“Emmrich!” She snapped.

“Er… hmm…” His eyes darted from side to side rapidly as he seemed to decide the best course of action. Then he grabbed her hand and maneuvered her index finger, guiding it towards her mouth.

The soft fleshy tip of it landed against the smooth, hard surface of her cuspid. Still looking baffled and uneasy, Emmrich slowly and carefully moved the finger down the tooth - far further than it would normally go - and then very delicately prodded the pad of her finger against the point, which felt razor sharp against Amina’s flesh - honed and deadly, and very unlike the shape that particular tooth had been for the entirety of her life until this point.

She let out a clipped scream and brought her other hand up to her mouth, feeling the other tooth - it was similarly distorted under her touch, bizarrely long and just as pointed as the other.

No, no, no… last night was a dream. A nightmare. And besides, my teeth were fine when I’d gone to sleep…

Bolting from the bed, Amina tore out of their room and down the hallway to the bathroom, her feet slapping through puddles of water that lingered. She hurtled into the still humid room and turned left to face the extravagant vanity built into the wall on that side of the room, and screamed again: a blood curdling shriek that reverberated off the walls.

Emmrich appeared at the threshold, sliding into the bathroom, redirecting his momentum with a hand on the doorframe and embracing her as she stared into the large mirror, mouth agape, confused tears flooding her eyes.

“I - I don’t… I d-don’t—” She raised a shaking hand and waved at herself in the mirror. Her face crumpled in anguish and she looked to Emmrich pleadingly with her eerie eyes and fanged mouth. “Emmrich, wh-why can’t I see myself in the m-mirror?”

He did a double take as he glanced from her to the looking glass, then back again, evidently seeing the same thing as she: only himself, naked and at an utter loss for words.

Amina sank to her knees, suddenly aware of the cold that was rapidly stealing back into her bones. Hugging herself as she cried, rocking back and forth, she tried desperately to make sense of what was happening to her: dead was one thing, but fangs where her teeth used to be, and the unexpected departure of her own reflection was too much. She could only bear so much…

Perhaps it was for the best that she couldn’t see herself - she surely looked like a monster if her teeth were as long and sharp as they felt…

Emmrich had seen fit not to waste his breath trying to assure her it was all going to be all right. Instead, he pulled his dressing gown from a hook on the wall and draped it around her naked form, securing it in place before picking her up again.

He carried her back down the hall as she wept, silent and grim.

Their soft feather bed met her back when he placed her down, and smoothed her hair from her forehead, sitting beside her and looking into her eyes, her hand in his.

“I know that this is very frightening for you, darling,” he whispered. “I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now, but we’re going to suss this out together, yes? Now take a deep breath - you can do it.”

“Why the fuck would I need to breathe, Emmrich? I’m dead!”

The sentiment was delivered with the same air of desperate and indignant mortification that ruled her currently. Her world was one of sheer confusion, and the inability to comprehend.

“There’s no need for such language, darling!” Emmrich blustered, looking affronted. “I’m only trying to help!”

“How can you help?!” She bleated. “You don’t even know what’s happening to me! Fangs, Emmrich - I have fangs!! I’m an aberration! I’m… I’m transforming into that… that thing!” She tried to sit up but Emmrich pushed her back down on the bed. She needed to run. Needed to get away from the Necropolis - away from everyone. She went to sit up again, only to be forcibly returned to the surface of the bed. “Emmrich, please!” Tears crashed down her face: why didn’t he understand?!

“Amina. Stop.”

He gripped her tightly by the upper arms, his elbows braced on either side of her to keep her from scarpering. His nose was inches from hers, and his eyes were intense and grave. The dark shadow of the dusting of morning stubble over his jaw added to his intensity and emphasized the serious set of his mouth as his eyes burned into hers.

“You need to calm yourself,” he instructed. “This is undeniably a mess, and I’m terrified as well, but we won’t get anywhere by panicking and falling apart, will we? You are not alone in this, dear. Now do as I say, and take a deep breath.”

Eyes shut tight, she obeyed - forcing a clattering breath into her hollow lungs, fighting against every instinct she had to flee. Her stomach protested its emptiness again, painfully contorting on itself.

“I’m so hungry, Emmrich,” she groused, sounding annoying and whiny to her own ears, but it couldn’t be ignored any longer: she was beginning to feel faint.

“Stay here - I will bring you something.”

The tone it was delivered in made it clear there would be no negotiating.

He vanished from her side and she sagged into the mattress.

[massy2ly]

Ouf, something’s been bugging me hard about this ex storyline, and I’m low-key scared the writers are gonna mess it up for me because I LOVE this show way too much.

So, let’s say Lily actually hired a hitman two years ago to off Fadel’s ex (I know, it’s the most obvious theory, but I really don’t like it.) Honestly, I just don’t get why they’d pile more tragedy onto Fadel’s already heavy plate. He’s just started to heal and open up to love again, so why drag him back through the mud? But okay, let’s roll with it. Why, in this case, would Lily hire a whole hitman to take out some harmless guy but then send Keen to handle the brothers and their boyfriends in the present? Like, am I the only one who sees the weirdness in the scale of danger here? You hire a hitman to take out one civilian with dimples, but then you send your weakest soldier to go after four people—two of whom are your top hitmen?? It just doesn’t add up.

Keen, as much as he’s not as skilled as Bison or Fadel, could’ve taken care of the ex himself. Dude’s still good with a gun—he could’ve gone pew pew from a corner and it’d be game over. But nooo, Lily wasted resources on some random assassin. Then, when your two deadliest soldiers disappear with two other guys, you trust who to clean up the mess? Keen.

Like, seriously? It’s so off. Maybe Keen sold her the idea that he’d gotten better over the past two years, or maybe he just didn’t have the guts back then. Either way, Idk how to feel about this.

And Keen—man, he’s just pathetic. His inferiority complex is off the charts, and he’s so desperate to please Lily that he loses sight of his own priorities. He loathes the brothers and would love nothing more than to see them gone, but as long as Lily wants them around, he’s stuck. So, the only thing left for him to do is crush their hopes of finding happiness and love. He’s stuck in this weird little resentment loop, feeling pathetic and trapped, and wants to drag everyone down with him. If we go with the theory about the ex, it would’ve been so much easier for Keen to just let Fadel escape with him, one less brother to deal with. But no—his hatred and fear of Lily run so deep that he’d rather play the long game.

Honestly, I’m not too sure where this is going. With only three episodes left, I was expecting the drama to shift to Bison and Fadel’s parents, Lily’s true colors, and the whole “we might end up in prison” mess. It’s already a LOT. But instead, we’re also caught up in this ex drama that just feels like a little too much for a character who's already carrying so much weight. Fadel’s finally allowing himself to experience love again—why throw another wave of grief and guilt on top of that? It's like, why keep adding fuel to the fire when the guy’s just started to heal in that regard? Love is literally the only good and stable thing going on for him rn.

[kennys-parka-jacket]

.

[ricketycr1cks]

And if I say Mac grew up equating love to cigarette burns and absent fathers and getting told to toughen up, that Mac doesn’t understand love that isn’t conditional, love without equal parts hate or distaste, that never in his life has Mac understood earnest love, that even though Dennis isn’t trying to, he often ends up re-confirming this idea in Macs head, that love is hatred, that-

[mariesbee]

why can't i enjoy things like a normal person? casually, just a few episodes/chapters here and there, then move on with my life. but no, whatever it is, it worms its way into my brain, consumes my thoughts and it slowly drives me insane. i am unable to think about anything else but the Thing of the week, or month, sometimes year(s) if it gets that bad.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

[poetryqueer]

the absence of horatios in hamlet adaptations somehow feels gayer than their presence

[mantisgodsdomain]

We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.

[trans-estinien]

i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.

[welcometoteyvat]

jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

[bluegarners]

ik i can rag on bruce a bit here and there, but i sincerely believe him to be a good man trying his best to be a good parent and it's a little frustrating when people exaggerate his and his kids' reaction to things they do/argue about. it's a trend i notice in fanon/fanfiction and canon comics, and it breaks my heart a little bit that there seems to only be those two extremes these days: one big happy family where everything and everyone is forgiven forever, or everyone hates each other and argues over the littlest things and no one is ever forgiven for anything. i know it can be difficult to balance dichotomy and figure out good ways to write/show the nuances of a family like the batclan, but i just feel like people often forget that at all of their cores, each of them are good people trying to do good things in a shitty world. they want to help others, they want to help each other, they are all trying to do the right thing, and what makes them argue sometimes is that they all have different views and morals on how to go about. at the end of the day, they have the same goal but not the same plan, and, to me, that's what makes them fight/be gruff with one another. they don't necessarily hate each other or hold some weird grudge because they just don't like the person or whatever; they are complex individuals and characters that have certain mindsets that overlap but also contrast with others

[blitz0hno]

Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.

Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???

I think these are valid to coexist.

[chimericchaos]

You know I see these posts about how maturity should be the standard and i start to agree untill i realize just how many fucking conversations ive had about maturity not even being a real thing??

Like people will believe what they will but i have times even niw as a fully grown adult that i recognize i am absolutely not fucking mature at all. And i stop myself then and ask what the hell maturity is, and every time i look it up because i want a source that isnt just my brain, i get a completely different answer. It really depends if you get it from merriam webster or this one guy on quora. One maybe be far more credible, but its not just one guy on quora. Ots a whole lot of people saying very different things to the actual definition of what mature is. This indicates that either education globally is fucking awful (which may not be wrong tbf) or that possibly what we understand to be matuity is a complex and nuanced thing that is unmeasurable and is probably sonething else actually

Like i dont know what fucking metric you want to use for "if this person consents to having medical bills" or whatever but if it isnt age then maybe something more concrete and physically measurable than maturity? Or maybe if we *cannot* have sonething concrete and measurable because that thing doesnt exist somehow, then perhaps we can say "to each their own" and just go with what the person fucking says they want?

I dont know about yall but i feel like im saying and not saying so much here. But like. Maybe let people make their own choices. Their own mistakes. And help them so that those mistakes are reversible. Other than that i dont feel like i should get a say in what someone else does. Just. End of story.