#They just have something weird and complex going on

[poopylumpkins]

I finally watched this movie, it hit me so hard.

I’d been listening to the soundtrack for a while, as a bad habit, I tend to listen to movie soundtracks before watching the source material—and I’m really into Yeule’s music—so I discovered the movie thru the release of their featured song in the movie.

I finally gave it a chance and, wow.

Huge tangent under the cut <3

I’m nonbinary. I’m afab. This movie resonated with me so much.

Making this discovery was a hard one, it was like I’d opened Pandora’s Box.

One of my other (dearest) friends had come out as nb when we were younger and it scared me, it was something I was aware of but pushed away in fear of discovery. Same with my lesbian identity. But the TV kept glowing, I wouldn’t lose them over my own cowardice. Eventually I realized I was lesbian, I’d realized I was trans.

Sometimes I feel connected to womanhood, to my femininity.

For the sake of others, I sacrifice my otherness for their comfort. I go by all pronouns because I’m afraid of dropping “she” from everyone else’s mind. I go by they/she in public spaces where I feel safe enough to do so, but at home, I’m still just a woman, I’m still “her”. Only that.

And it’s difficult reconciling this when I do dress femininely, when I let my friends call me woman. Even when I do that to myself, because I am, paradoxically, as I am not. I don’t know, gender is hard. I present as a woman to a lot of people, so I have experiences socialized as such.

Not to tote any weird superiority complexes, but I like the way God is described in the bible. “I am that I am.” The image of everyone, man, woman, otherwise, all simultaneously.

I feel maybe it’s like that for me, with womanhood. I am woman, I am something else. I like masculine terms for myself sometimes. Sometimes it feels like an empty space. Like [Owen] described it on the bleachers to [Maddy]. I severely hate overly gendered conversation. As a transmasc person, I do like dude and bro but yk even that gets tiresome.

“Yes, Girl.”

“Queen.”

“Miss.”

Only my closest friends call me by “they/them” pronouns, even then, I let it slip when they don’t get it right. But they know me for who I am beyond the screen, and I do just go by any pronouns. But we’re also just used to pushing that away in the eyes of others who don’t see the screen glowing.

In I Saw The TV Glow, Owen and Isabel are parallels to each other (because they are one and the same), they’re both too cowardly for confrontation, Isabel realizes she’s dying [as Owen] and apologizes for the sake of others’ comfort, at the end of the movie, at the outburst her realization causes.

The ending is left up to interpretation, whether she buries herself in the ground with Tara, or she continues to die, living a life as someone fake.

I like to remain hopeful, optimistic. Though, “there is still time,” might read as a warning—you still have time, but it will run out eventually—I see it as a message of hope for those of us who can’t explore our gender identities as freely as others. An eventuality.

During the wire breakage scene, where [Owen] finds herself stopped in the road—where she finds the burning papers of the episode guides, she reads “S06:e01” I like to think that that is where the movie ends and her true life begins. She does break out of the midnight realm.

She doesn’t continue to cower away, though she is wont to do. She opened her chest up and saw her missing heart, saw the “Pink Opaque,” and ran back to Tara, leaving this world behind, and saving face with her apologies.

..

This movie also filled me with existential dread.

When [Owen] watched the finale’s tape, when she launched her head into the tv and mourned the fact that her father wasn’t really her father—a foreboding, looming figure representing prominent patriarchal ideals—when she told us about how it was “time to become a real man,” when her father died, further burying herself into this life that wasn’t hers with a family that wasn’t either—it was terrifying.

We never see that family she had onscreen, and the mention of them makes [Owen] look so defeated. She watches the “Pink Opaque” again and it isn’t as she remembers. Just as Mr. Melancholy said would happen.

“Soon you won’t even remember that you’re dying.”

Whole movie was such a harrowing, representative experience. I sobbed. I mourned. It was like mourning for a past me, for the parts of myself that must stay hidden, for covering the screen.

And the fact that Tara was relatively butch in her real life, but was an awkward girl experimenting with her feminine expression up until she realized she had to escape in the Midnight Realm. I felt connection to her expression as much as I did Isabel’s egg crack.

They were so lesbians for each other, too, be it in a qpp sense or in another way.

…

Here I am listening to the OST again, replaying Yeule’s cover of “Anthems for a 17-year-old Girl,” on my 20th birthday (oh yeah that’s today) and just.. feeling such a frenzy of emotions.

Ultimately, just—

There will still be time. You’ll bury the you that isn’t authentic in the ground and rise as your truest form eventually. There will always be eventually. There will always be you..

I will be there waiting for me.

But I know that's not true. That's just fantasy. Kid's stuff.

I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[idolomantises]

Thoughts on Arcane season 2

I didn’t like this season

It’s not bad, but I found it incredibly rushed, cramped and deeply unsatisfying

While season 1 had several protagonists it was also pretty obvious that Vi and Jinx were the emotional core of the entire show so why on earth was their dynamic barely explored here

Vi went from being my favorite character to a character I found deeply frustrating and annoying. What the hell is her personality of getting her sister back and fucking the hot lesbian. She has no consistency whatsoever and it’s something I don’t think the show realizes how batshit the constant flip flopping in. What do you mean you sister tells you she’s going to kill herself and then you start fucking your messy situationship

I don’t really care for Jayvik but I found Jayce’s confession very sweet.

Mel my beautiful queen they’re gonna call you a Mary Sue

What the fuck was with all that Witch shit and Ambessa’s death was incredibly unsatisfying

Victor fans who kept begging the team to not make him a hot buff robot so he can still be a skinny twink pisses me off so bad because now we have an inferior twink robot design. I know fans probably didn’t influence this but I also need to complain about their lack of taste like what do you mean you didn’t want to see a hot buff robot man.

Ekko feels like an incredibly unimportant character and I’m pretty sure fans only like him because of what he can do for Jinx. A part of me wished he actually did hold a grudge just to see how fans reacted.

Season 1 was all about setting up emotional complexities and how nobody was truly evil and the show made it seem like there was no way for anyone to fully recovery from this but everyone is holding hands and singing kumbaya’s so alright nevermind then

This show was honestly a little too in love with Jinx. I did not enjoy her writing in acts 1 and 2.

The jokes were really bad this season

The songs oh my god the SONGS. I didn’t mind them in season 1 but in season 2 it started to remind me of love is blind and anyone who has watched that show would know what a massive insult that is.

Caitvi lesbian sex scene and I couldn’t even enjoy it because the writing was pissing me off

Caitlyn should’ve continued her little fascist arc.

Mel’s arc this season felt like weird fanfiction.

A bunch of random side characters die off unceremoniously after the show gave them so much unnecessary screen time

I hated Isha sorry. I’ve never seen a character more clearly made to die.

Jinx death means nothing to me because I know she isn’t dead so why even do all that lol

I will never call this show sexist but it has done a massive disservice to its female characters.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 12

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

In the end it is not vigilantism or villainy that ends up being the hardest part of this act you have created.

It isn't even music production as even though Ariana's youtube's channel takes a lot of effort and skill you did not expect to need it is still not that big of an hassle once Mumbo decided to help you.

No, the biggest challenge yet is mundanity, Grian was only a being you created as a civilian identity to stand behind the other more interesting personan... You put thought into the other but you never thought too much about how to be a civilian.

You have created yourself an identity but you never prepared yourself for living with it and you are slowly realising that knowing from an outside perspective how to do something is much different from actually doing it...Also as the god of chaos the rules of reality tend to slightly bend around you which makes doing menial tasks paricularly complex...

...Case in point: Cooking. You thought it would be easy, you have seen others do it in the past so it shouldn't have been hard.

And yet, "shouldn't" is the key word.

"Mumbo? You are back...sooner then I expected"

"This...this is the time I normally come home"

"Oh ..."

"Grian, what?"

"Did your hair...lose...weight?"

"Grian? Are you cooking something?"

"Yeah ... You could say that"

"W-well mate, what do you mean by that?"

"I was cooking...before"

"Y-yeah? So? Did something happen? Did something break? 'Cause that's fine, mistakes happen."

"I uh...I might have burnt the water"

"What... ... How? That's uh... not possibile?????"

"The water just caught on fire"

"That's not- what??????"

Of course then he hears the clucking, great timing, this is humiliating.

"Is that... A chicken in the kitchen?"

"Nooo, why would there be chicken in the kitchen? That would be weird."

"... There is a chicken in the kitchen, why? How??"

"I tried to break an egg and a chicken popped put"

"... Was there something in my coffee? This just isn't...ok whatever, I'm done. We have a chicken now I guess, sure why not?"

"Uh... are you going to name it?"

"You birthed it, It's your responsability now. I'm going to bed and reconsidering my life now"

...You ended up calling the chicken Cluck, hardly original but you have never been good at creating very original names.

*Mumbo pov*

Grian is an... Interesting roomate. He's exceptionally smart sometimes, he knows a lot of the natural world and hystory... He says very specific scientific facts like they are common knowledge...

He's also extremely talented at singing, which is especially impressive since he's doing so at an higher pitch then his speaking voice... It's almost like he changes vocal cords... And his drag persona? Ariana? It's stunning. You can't believe how good it is.

...

...He's also, and you mean it in the nicest way possible, a weirdo. He's not creepy or anything like that but he's extremely bad at being a normal person. You wonder about his past sometimes but you refuse to bother him about it, you of all people should know why someone would like to keep their past a secret... still you do wonder, for a man who says to have no powers he sure acts like he does.

Despite everything though...you can't deny you are getting used to his presence, he was supposed to be an alibi for you to hide your villainy behind but... Ugh, you spoon! You shouldn't have gotten this attached to this guy and you are probably going to get more attached as time passes.

It's fine, you can deal with this, hiding behind him has always been plan z and plan a has yet to fail, your project will be a success.

And if anyone does try anything... There is a reason you are called the Boogeyman.

[kennys-parka-jacket]

.

[temsiik]

Yeah, I agree with this. As far as legacy names go, I'm at least slightly more forgiving of Maes, because it's someone that was close to both Ed and Winry (even if not close enough to name a kid after like you said), and took kind of a familial role. The one I really can't get behind even a little bit is Nina. Like, to Ed that'd be super traumatizing. Would he really want to relive that every time he calls his daughter for dinner? If he did because of a guilt complex or something, would it be fair to the kid? And would the people close to him not see that and try to talk him out of it? Someone like, say, Winry, to whom the name would also have no signifficance because she's never even met the girl? But I'm not a big fan of legacy names - for Ed and Winry specifically it doesn't seem fitting - but also in general. Just seems a bit unoriginal from an out-of-universe perspective, especially when all of the previous characters' children have reused names. Also is it me, or does this pop up in fiction pretty much only for previous characters' children, and even then mostly in fanfics? (No offense to fanfics, I read and even write them myself, but this feels very specifically fanficcy to me). Like, has there ever been a time that an established character, whose parents aren't important characters, just happened to be named after a dead friend of theirs, and that whole backstory is entirely off-screen to the audience? (Actually that sounds very funny to me, someone should write that) THAT SAID - I have a weird soft spot for Sara. I don't know, it's just a pretty name, and the Rockbells feel a bit overshadowed by the Elrics as far as dead parents go, so the idea of honoring them feels nice to me. Also subverts the whole protagonist-centrality trope, like how people sometimes name all the kids only after people important to Ed, or make all of them a copy of only him in personality and interests. Like, they're not just the children of Ed -the protagonist - guys, they're Winry's too - she's important! Would still prefer an original name, but I do kinda like this one.

I'm gonna say it y'all... I don't think Edward Elric was close enough with Maes Hughes to name his own kid after the guy. Like, yeah, for sure, he liked Maes and was horrified when he died and promised to keep such things from happening in the future, but i really don't think he is close enough to the guy to name his kid after him.

And if they were close enough... how fucked up would it be to call your kid by the name of someone you once loved but lost? What a burden to put onto a child.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

[poetryqueer]

the absence of horatios in hamlet adaptations somehow feels gayer than their presence

[mantisgodsdomain]

We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.

[trans-estinien]

i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.

[welcometoteyvat]

jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

[bluegarners]

ik i can rag on bruce a bit here and there, but i sincerely believe him to be a good man trying his best to be a good parent and it's a little frustrating when people exaggerate his and his kids' reaction to things they do/argue about. it's a trend i notice in fanon/fanfiction and canon comics, and it breaks my heart a little bit that there seems to only be those two extremes these days: one big happy family where everything and everyone is forgiven forever, or everyone hates each other and argues over the littlest things and no one is ever forgiven for anything. i know it can be difficult to balance dichotomy and figure out good ways to write/show the nuances of a family like the batclan, but i just feel like people often forget that at all of their cores, each of them are good people trying to do good things in a shitty world. they want to help others, they want to help each other, they are all trying to do the right thing, and what makes them argue sometimes is that they all have different views and morals on how to go about. at the end of the day, they have the same goal but not the same plan, and, to me, that's what makes them fight/be gruff with one another. they don't necessarily hate each other or hold some weird grudge because they just don't like the person or whatever; they are complex individuals and characters that have certain mindsets that overlap but also contrast with others

[blitz0hno]

Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.

Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???

I think these are valid to coexist.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[the-knife-consumer]

One thing I really like is the idea that springbonnie hates William just as much as William has (probably) grown to hate it.

[an-unexpected-trollogy]

Oh to be Suzanne Collins and have little social media presence and to write a book regarding whatever current societal trend is bothering her at the moment.

[captainshyguy]

i do wish that people hadnt been so rabidly critical and vicious towards steven universe back in the day, because now it feels like u cant discuss any parts of the show u didnt like without getting lumped in with those guys lol