#They just happen to me all over again.
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fagsystem · 5 months ago
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teaboot · 3 months ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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mayasdeluca · 8 months ago
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MAYA AND CARINA STATION 19: 7x10 'One Last Time'
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storytellering · 3 months ago
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Torn apart. Inspired by Romeo and Juliet by Sergio Cupido
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ender1821 · 3 months ago
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im a child of divorce
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#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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shimmershy · 2 years ago
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Just two siblings back from the dead, hanging out, totally not using this opportunity to torment one another for the rest of time! <3
Chara Week Day 4: Flowers
[Image Description: A digital drawing of Chara and Flowey from Undertale. They're on the Surface, with grass and trees and mountains stretching out behind them. Chara has golden flowers clustered around their left eye and speckled in their hair and on their hands. They're kneeling on the ground and smiling wide, holding Flowey's flower pot in one arm. Their other hand is outstretched in front of them and holding a camera. Flowey has a red bow wrapped around his stem and stickers in the shape of hearts, stars, and smiley faces decorating his pot. He looks annoyed as Chara leans their face in close to his to take a photo. /End ID]
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hawkinslibrary · 2 months ago
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Stranger Things 4 Chapter Nine: The Piggyback | 4.09
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arkayne in a nutshell. To me.
anyways I’m gonna go draw kayne’s toothy pseudo-top-surgery-scars now. No one look at me bye
(Insp below)
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shepherds-of-haven · 5 days ago
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wish it was cool and acceptable to write fanfiction of your own work, especially before the original work is actually done 😂
#shepherds of haven#grgurghei bear with me here#but consider a fic where the game keeps resetting but MC retains their memory of every playthrough they've been through before#groundhog day where they just have to keep reliving everything over and over#they start speedrunning trying to find and make The Choice that breaks them out of the cycle#they romance different people--save Prihine but not Caine--go with Tallys and not Trouble--#but nothing works and they keep waking up that day in the Kinley Traders camp#they also never manage to fall out of love with their canon RO#but even then they still miss “the first one”#the one that they went through everything with the first time#when everything was fresh and new and thrilling and they didn't know the next words that would come out of their beloved's mouth every time#they start playing fast and loose with things because they know they'll just be doing the same thing over again soon enough#like yes it sucks when so-and-so dies but they get inured to it because they'll just do it over again when the whole shebang resets#doesn't matter when the hunters all die of sickness we'll just fix that up next time and no one will be the wiser#but then--during what feels like the thirtieth run of the Quiial mission#Chase or Blade or Ayla or whomever acts just a bit different#they say something they haven't said before#they balk at going through the door like they know what's about to happen#and after some weirdness MC and RO realize they *both* remember#they've been separately running through their own groundhog days--reincarnating over and over#and reliving the same missions and variations and pains and deaths while remembering the first run#but now they've suddenly landed *in the same version of the game*#and suddenly the stakes are wayyyy high again lol#am i insane or is this a cool idea#anyway lol i'd call it something like 'variations on a refrain'#spoilers#heavy#alpha build#alpha preview#random
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ultipoter · 7 months ago
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A pokemon masters screenshot redraw that got Way Out Of Hand. (and I insist on posting this as a redraw, I feel the original context is Important)
Also, I finally remembered to record my process of drawing this (and then some :^D)
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cruelplatonic · 8 months ago
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my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.
#because villains who didn't start off supremely powerful are more interesting to me#vees#it's not that they CAN'T be better. or that they're simply ignorant of the ways they fuck up others lives#they actually all do have that knowledge of being the underdog. and it's made them all the more shitty#because they never want to be those people again#narratives about people who make each other worse <3#to be clear they were still shitty people in life. manipulative. consumed by greed and envy. all their individual flaws etc etc#but hell made them into the absolute worst versions of themselves#of course what their Worst Self is and the journey/length of time/initial reaction to being in hell varies#like val sees hell as a continuation of the things happening in life. just w/ the power dynamics always privileging him#it's the same drugs and violence. except the violence isn't just survival anymore but the chance to indulge his deeply sadistic desires#vox has completely dissociated from his time alive. that person is dead and he's reinvented himself 1000 times over since then#90% of the time he has those memory files shoveled into a hidden directory#he refuses to acknowledge that he's still haunted by some of the same insecurities from almost a century ago#val doesn't necessarily see his living self in a fond light but he does see that person as fundamentally him#velvette thinks life was full of people who weren't her demographic but fortunately that's been fixed by sinners!#they just couldn't Get Her and that was all their faults#the primary way they view their past selves can be summed up as: scorn (vox) apathy (valentino) and in denial (velvette)#sorry the bulk of the post was in the tags. i will be doing this again#the scorn is the coping mechanism for shame. of course
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danwhobrowses · 8 days ago
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Now that Critical Role's VOD of episode 120 is out and everyone in the fandom's had a moment to breathe, simmer, and adjust to this all. I wanna do a big talk about my favourite idiot punk rock, Ashton Greymoore.
Because over these last few episodes, I've been so proud of them.
Many people have had vocal opinions on Ashton, not all of them positive either; I've seen many berate them and say they're selfish, not a team player, or that they 'don't add anything to the group'. But over the past few episodes, I feel like Ashton has been an unsung hero in the battles with Ludinus and Predathos, with their contributions, oftentimes selfless and cooperative, ending up providing the floor for others to deliver strong and impactful actions.
While Dorian and Imogen will rightfully get the lion's share of praise for their clutch moments - Dorian's Force Cage on Ludinus saving Liliana and defeating Predathos' first stage alongside Imogen's Power Word: Stun setting up Ludinus' death and defeating Predathos' second stage - Ashton's actions were often the prelude to moments that could not have succeeded without them, including these clutch moments. Their attack on Ludinus in 117 prompted the Silvery Barbs that burned up his reaction - which allowed Dorian to successfully use Force Cage without being Counterspelled, their high-damage attack on his neck hole in 118 broke Ludinus' concentration on Ravenous Void - which somehow later got credited to Chetney - which gave Imogen the freedom and mobility to get in range for Power Word: Stun, they got the Insight check whisper on Predathogen in 119 to know that Imogen was physically inside of the body and needed to be pried out - which Imogen achieved herself thanks in part to Fearne reaching her, and recently in 120 they pulled Imogen out of Predathos' maw, abandoning the Hammer synonymous with their character (to the point that Keyleth titled them the 'Paradox Hammer') to prioritize saving their friend, which - following Dorian's healing - gave her the chance to use the Ring of Remembrance for the finishing Meteor Swarm. Not to mention all the other damage they dealt and tanked throughout the four fights, the passive d4 bonuses and advantage they gave the party (almost acting partly as a secondary paladin or a tertiary bard) to buff their damage and saving throws, and accepting the risk of disintegration when Laudna used their Hammer's spell splitter - which forced Predathos to use its final Legendary Resistance.
The Disintegrate moment itself was tense because we all know that Ashton is high among the Hells who would sacrifice themselves to save the group - a mentality most of the Hells likely shared in this fight - but fortunately they don't have to, they'll never have to, and they gained something just as if not more valuable than a heroic sacrifice: they get to live. The person who before meeting these chucklefucks believed they'd likely die face-down in a ditch in some backwater alley and thrown into an unmarked grave AT BEST gets to live, and the people that mean most to them get to live thanks to their efforts, their successes. And that's the most important part; for all the times they couldn't help or save someone because they were unconscious or out of reach, for all the times they let their imposter syndrome tell them they're just a fuckup undeserving of trust, praise, or love, and for every fear they had that one day they'd mess up and this new family of theirs will abandon them like the Nobodies did, this time they were there standing beside their people to the very end - and they helped get them out alive. No mistakes, no carelessness, and no-one left behind.
For that, I am proud of Ashton Greymoore; not Bells Hells' Weapon but their Helm, not a Blunt Instrument but a Protector, and not a Hero who needs to do 'what needs to be done' but a Friend who is saving their people no matter the odds. Under all the hardened and rugged exterior that has always been who Ashton is - the perfectly flawed character they are.
#*slams fist* SAVIOUR OF THE BROKEN THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED!#And it's not to say that Ashton's the only one that deserves credit because they all do but I'm giving Ashton their flowers now#and yeah they're still an idiot punk rock but they keep getting to remake themselves and I'm happy for them#they still represent the philosophy associated with kintsugi - wabi-sabi: the beauty of the imperfect impermanent and incomplete#*slams fist again* you can't hide the cracks but you can embrace the repairs#they were so beaten up from these fights but nothing rings truer for Ashton than 'the body breaks but the soul refuses to die'#also by helm I mean like a helmsman not a helmet just fyi - they help steer BH; line up the enemies so the others can knock them down#I am proud of all the Hells too...mostly - Braius still needs to regain their trust - but everyone did their part to keep everyone alive#We all know that Tal has - or at least puts on - a level of detachment with their PCs in case they die but I'm so relieved they didn't#Ashley was relieved too - just pointing it out there for Fearne 'I have Silvery Barbs from Rogue to save my rock' Calloway#you two have weird mushrooms to enjoy - also like the rest of your lives together#Still wish we got a Titan combo but I'll take them all surviving over seeing it and them dying#Seeing them set up Imogen for a clutch spell twice reminds me how underrated their bond is; which pairs with their sibling bond with Laudna#There's still the matter of Vassalheim and the Gods ofc but this is not the first firing squad BH has stood before this campaign#but I do feel like the fighting needs to be over for the campaign - as in no more combat - lest it devalues Predathos as a final boss#Ludie2/Twodinus is still out there though ¬_¬ maybe he'll be a one shot returner like Delilah Trent and Uk'otoa (Uk'otoaaa)#I do hope the collapse of the core doesn't fully destroy Ruidus either - Gaz Tomo the Myceit and the Bormodo kinda live there#we also need to know what happened to Fy'ra Morrighan Deanna FRIDA Prism and Deni$e - where are they? Did they fight?#*slams fist a third time for no reason* my hand hurts now#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e120#ashton greymoore#bells hells#ludinus da'leth#imogen temult#laudna#predathos#dorian storm
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meamiki · 5 months ago
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vaguely based on a stream silly from the first stream. when my friend KEPT INTERRUPTING LOOP DIALOGUE.
vvv vague context clip below vvv
aaand. well. apologies for layers of links because 18+. if you are intrigued by that clip and want to watch the full streams there' s a link to the full vods channel in this linked post right here.
(there are 11 streams.... mainly because we did all the optional content except the ghosts event i think? because RNG)
i promise my audio quality gets better ASFSAFASFA
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unnonexistence · 9 months ago
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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lizzybeeee · 2 months ago
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Solas addressing current day Thedas about his plans to bring down the Veil:
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#the egg was going to save the elves and lead a rebellion and instead you made it all about mythal and only mythal#by all means have mythal and solas's relationship be fucked#but why minimize Solas's entire past as a freedom fighter for this?? his motivations were lessened so much from what trespasser set up#the game made him so unlikable to me#joplin cut save me </3#that version actually had him helping the elves like he said he was going to do in trespasser -> instead he started two world wars in datv#he absolutely only made life worse for the elves and everyone else on thedas since the moment he woke from his beauty sleep & that's fucked#led to thousands and thousands more dying and the entire south being blighted to hell#make the man whose flaw is that he cares too much cause the most harm to everyone on thedas in its TOTALITY from the titans to this point#they did you dirty solas >:(#people won't remember him in thedas as a freedom fighter post datv -> there will be no songs or legends about the true fen'harel#remembered as he should be as the man who stood up to gods for the slaves -> who risked all he had in the name of freedom against tyrants#instead he set in motion the greatest conflict of the age as well as corypheous -> people will curse his name just like the dalish once did#they will look around at the blighted remains of their lands and the bodies of those they loved and they will blame him and be 100% correct#god it just makes me feel depressed what they did to him#the elves would absolutely be fucked all over again because of this - their gods returning and blighting the world#while another was responsible for it happening in the first place????#then to hint that the forbidden/forgotten ones are still out there as an antagonist too?! stoppppp#datv critical#datv spoilers#bioware critical#dragon age the veilguard
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ribbononline · 2 months ago
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Still trying to finish other things but in the meantime- updated design for my older May! She's an Ace Trainer
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