#They are married sir

[nyree2712]

Top Gun - Incorrect Quotes 51

Maverick: *Calls Ice*

Iceman: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP, MY HUSBAND IS CALLING

Iceman: *Answers* Hello sweetheart?

Maverick: Hey darling, Are you busy? Because I need your help with the daggers train

Iceman: *In the middle of a poker reunion with the president, the NCIS director, CIA director, and FBI director* No, I'm free

Maverick: Our home in five?

Iceman: Mmm, yes, I could do it. Love you, see you later sweetheart * Hangs up* Okay I have to go my husband needs me.

President of America:...

Iceman: Oh goodbye President, see you next week, bye others

[sczawr]

doodles of Amy and Neo Metal Sonic as Lady Nimue and Sir Pelleas from my and my gangs satbk au! Neo's design is also by @mmm-asbestos!

[glitchedcosmos]

Hideaway

[akelafang]

Arthur: *staring into the void* Gwaine: What's up with princess? Leon: He realised he's in love with Merlin Gwaine: Aren't they married? Leon: Apparently not

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

I’m obsessed with Kate and Anthony just having their arms interlinked while playing charades

Because there is literally no need for it, they’re already sitting right beside each other, shoulder to shoulder, and they’re playing charades, which is not something that requires them to move in coordination??? And, you can see the empty space on the couch beside Kate, so there’s plenty of space

But does any of that really matter to Viscount and Viscountess Velcro? Not even a little bit!

They will be interlinking their arms through a game of charades, because simply sitting next to each other is not enough, they must have, at least, four points of contact between themselves at all times

[stellewriites]

marrying johnny was an easy choice, in that you had no choice at all.

he needed a wife and you were too old to stay at home any longer, already well past the average age other women in your town got married. the wild west wasn’t kind to young women, so it made sense to cling to the offer johnny made even if you knew his heart wasn’t in it. it was unlikely you’d find a better option in your town, no one interested was as young or as handsome.

it didn’t matter the rumours that spread about him. in fact they fell in your favour.

you barely had the chance to get to know him; told on your first night to keep house, left with his set of rules and chores to occupy you while he rode off with his tall masked friend.

it could be days, weeks even, between the morns you saw him. you didn’t ask where he went or what he did when he didn’t come back home. you didn’t care, happy to take advantage of the empty bed.

and for months, crossing paths only a handful of times, it worked for you both. you kept your horse fed and brushed, used it to travel into town for your perishables each week and made sure the space out back was kept neat for if johnny arrived back on his own mare.

it worked. you were happy. but then johnny was shot; part of a train robbery gone wrong, the sheriff had told you stiffly.

he apologised for your loss, but you could tell he didn’t mean it. he told you if you had any clue who johnny’s partner could be then it’d be wise to turn him in sooner rather than later before leaving you to organise the funeral. closed casket, he’d advised wryly, in fact just ask the undertaker to seal him in a box and pay him direct. save yourself some time.

watching johnny’s casket get lowered into the ground you couldn’t help but think about how you’d never even kissed. husband and wife, though a true sham of it behind the walls of your home. not that you’d admit it so.

you stand next to his friends, people you hadn’t gotten to meet, and watch them grieve at his funeral. the tall man, his lower face still masked, seemed beholden with his grief; shaking with anger as his wet eyes stayed firm on the casket as it was lowered to the dirt.

you once again deigned not to think of where johnny may have been staying when he wasn’t nipping back home to you or how likely his partner in crime may have also been his partner in life. you’d let johnny keep his secrets.

you take the deed to his house - now your house - and shake and cry yourself to sleep that evening. it wasn’t grief that kept you awake though, but guilt. guilt over feeling thankful for his death since it brought with it your freedom, no strings attached.

johnny’s gentle, if not disinterested, countenance towards you had been reassuring, but not a guaranteed permanence. this however, was.

you continue to keep house, visit the stores in town and generally continue on as before for months after. you don’t see his tall friend and you don’t hear from anyone else that had been present at the funeral throughout the entire time. in fact, it’s almost a year later to the day of his death when you’re disturbed in your home.

steps crunching along the dry mud out back, irregular scratching at the windowsills and knocks on the doors inside the house.

when you think you see a man in your mirror you finally go to one of johnny’s friends still living in town and ask about your late husband, if they’ve seen or heard anything, but they just look at you pityingly.

you leave before they can get a doctor involved, blame it on a bad night’s sleep and a lonely heart - the horse wouldn’t settle for the wind and it is close to the anniversary as you know - and wave them off when they offer to come to the house. instead you buy a peashooter from a condescending clerk at the hardware store and hope for the best. hope to god it’s just big rats.

but you should’ve accepted their offer.

you should’ve moved out as soon as the noises started because finally one night when you’ve been kept up for hours and frozen still by the noises and movement in your house, you shakily take the gun and drag yourself downstairs. you follow the sound to the front door and sling it open.

you gasp at the sight before you. johnny sat on his horse, wearing the same clothes as he was a year ago when he was lowered into the ground; but dirtier, dustier, and his horse’s front leg has too many bends in it to be natural, its jaw hangs too low, its eyes too cloudy.

you daren’t look at johnny’s face beneath his hat, tilted low until your shaky breaths register and he looks up with a growing grin. grim and broken and hollow. his eyes are a cold grey, no longer blue, but clear and seeing unlike his horse. he stares at you as you take in the blood staining his chest, the unnatural, sporadic twitch in his hand as he removes his hat. you gasp a second time, shudder with it, when you finally see the wound that killed him.

a hole in his temple, gaping and splitting out into minute cracks and bruises across his forehead and down his cheek. hairline fractures and ruptured blood cells reaching out like tree roots.

his smile didn’t reach as high on that side but you tried not to dwell. you didn’t understand what he had to smile about in the first place.

“johnny…?”

“in the flesh, hen. come give yer husband a kiss, eh?”

“i don’t— i don’t understand. this can’t— you died. i saw them bury you.”

“aye. ye let them bury me.”

“i didn’t— i didn’t know—”

“ah ken, ah ken. i forgive ye. or i will, if ye let me in.”

you swallow thickly. there was a heaviness to his words that suggested you’d be doing more than just letting this… man, your husband, back into your home. you know he meant more than that.

“it’s late, johnny.”

“all the more reason not to dawdle. ne’er thought you were one to waste time even if ye were skittish.” he eyes your gun, held in shaking hands but still aimed higher than the steps before you, not fully dropped yet. “ah see ye’ve gotten past that in my absence.”

“it’s late.”

johnny huffed through his nose like a bull. angry like one too.

“so ye’ve said an’ ahm well aware. hen, let me in, before dawn comes knockin’. now, c’mon.”

you frown, clear your throat even as it felt full of cotton.

“what— what did you say to me on my first morning here after we woke up together?”

he squints at you, clenching his jaw tight before letting his unnatural smile stretch back across his lips. “forgive me if mah memory’s spotty but ah think ah said ‘good morning’.”

you raise the gun and point it towards him. “me and johnny never shared a bed. he left me alone here that first full week and he took the chair downstairs when he did stay. always.”

johnny’s grin turned mean in front of you, the cracks splintering further across his face.

“i was happy to try an’ do this the nice way, but now…” he threatens, twisting to drop off his horse.

you shoot him in the chest when his feet his the ground but the bullet doesn’t stop his even pace, doesn’t even startle his horse, and you feel dread finally rise above your adrenaline and chill you to the bone.

“shouldnae a done that.”

fanvid by serastonins

[certainty2witch]

Croc didn’t like that 😭😭

Or he secretly does?

From this @mercyannmay ‘s comment on twitter:

Connect to this

[gothixm00nz]

So I put off seeing the live action One Piece because I was so so scared it'd be bad and it actually isn't bad!

Also why the fuck did none of you fake bitches tell me that live-action Sanji is hot????

Nah.

NAH.

I am genuinely SO FUCKING MAD at how hot LA Sanji is. Like FUCK ME BRO. I already loved him in the anime, and then they have to go and make him a genuinely sweet guy with no perverted nature whatsoever!!!

LITERALLY THE KINDA GUY YOU'D TAKE HOME TO MOM. FUCK OOOOOOFFFFFFFF

How fuckin' dare they make him hot and NOT LET ME MARRY HIM.

[chandralia]

bkdk: *suppressing emotions, navigating feelings, getting comfortable with the role in each other’s lives, avoiding confessions, uncertain of the future but knowing their paths always intertwi—*

Todoroki: so you guys are opening an agency together yeah?

bkdk:

based on this newspaper ad we just got sgdkfhdj

[hypewinter]

Danny was helping in processing new ghosts for the afterlife when he came across a young man. Considering the costume it was obvious that he was a hero who had died saving the world. After inquiry, the young man explained that he had died because he couldn't keep up with the speed of his relatives but he would do it all again. Even if it meant leaving his friends and girlfriend behind. The sadness of the situation weighed on Danny too much so he decided to bend the rules a little just this once. After all, what was the point of being High King of the Infinite Realms if he couldn't overstep the regulations on occasion. Besides, if it were really so bad, Clockwork would probably pop in to warn him.

[abluescarfonwaston]

Look. I just think that in a No DL-6 au that Miles Edgeworth should still end up studying under Manfred Von Karma. He tried defense work- he really did. But he came home one night real quiet and admitted it wasn't for him. And Gregory held him and told him that was just fine, that there was no shame in that and Miles would always be his little boy.

And then Miles turns around and studies under Von Karma.

Obviously Gregory is stressed out. Told Miles not to OR ELSE but Miles called his bluff and now he's just sitting across from his son eating dinner like its nothing that Miles is studying under the most corrupt prosecutor in the province. Biting his tongue to try and save the relationship. Save Miles from whatever foolish teenage stunt this is.

But its not a stunt. It a plan. One only he, Manfred Von Karma and his daughter-Franziska Von Karma are in on. One to take on the supreme court of Japanifonia and force them to agree that gay marriage is legal in this country.

Because Phoenix told Miles he loved him. And Miles said: I need to marry him. I must overthrow the laws of this land for him. And I will not lose. I refuse to.

So Miles is using Von Karma to train him to take down the highest law in the land. Franziska has already planned their engagement and wedding so he has to get a move on already. And Manfred is taking great delight in making Gregory twist and squirm by being a loving and supportive mentor. Why he even taught Miles how to drive!

Gregory, crying: I would have taught you how to drive

Miles, mouth agape: Father you don't have a license. Or a CAR.

Gregory gets back at Manfred though. He teaches Franziska how to ride a bike. And makes her dinner and supports her how Manfred never could. So really, who's winning?

Franziska. This is how she wins in a no DL-6 au.

[defectivegembrain]

I know we joke around about "guys being bros" and all that, but love the fact that even within the fucked up study group, who will constantly mix family terms with romantic entanglements, it is never suggested in the show itself that Troy and Abed are like brothers. Like they can get called boyfriends and barely react at all, but I think if either ever actually tried to call the other bro they'd have a shared identity crisis

[levemetal]

Local minor heavenly official ignoring instructions to not approach calamity ghost.

Day 5: Caught / Found

Ascended Yue Qingyuan and Calamity SJ! Consider this a continuation of Day 2 :) There's their happy ending, they finally meet again. Fits for both prompts tho I drew this with Found in mind.

memey extra under cut

[jurassic-cunt]

jfj wants that old man to raw him

insp.

[mel-kusanagi]

one thing i can say about today's royal rumble is the fact that cody is paying homage to randy with snake prints on his gear during the ladder match

i see how it is mr cody rhodes 🙄🏳️‍🌈

[pathogenrot]

and they were coworkers. in an office.