#Their suffering is like sex to me
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Also before I forget Mister Samuel Winchester was absolutely SERVING the same flavour of sufferingwife/painedconfusion that Will Graham serves time and again (sam does remind me of will or maybe Will reminds me of Sam idk) on Hannibal.
They're the same but different but it was especially strong in this episode.
There was a little bit of Will Graham in Sam Winchester that day. In this essay I will-
#Sam winchester#will graham#sammy winchester#hannibal#supernatural#Spn#side by side#Is it the glasses#Can't just be the glasses it's the same look of long suffering suppressed pain#Sisters in arms#They are both wives to their respective husbands (brotherhusband for samofc)#Their suffering is like sex to me#sorry not sorry#Trialssam
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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Jenny Holzer, With You Inside Me Comes the Knowledge of My Death, 1994, Silver snake ring with inscription, sterling silver, 925/000, matt, centrifugal cast, hand-finished, in custom felt-lined wooden case1 5/8 × 3 3/8 × 2 1/8 in | 4.1 × 8.6 × 5.4 cm
#jenny holzer#feminist art#with you inside me comes the knowledge of my death#drink all the sex there is. still die.#it was the kind of sex where I suffer just like I am supposed to#hardstrut nothingness#art#contemporary art#word art#silver
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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yes i am obsessed with touch-starved crowley and aziraphale being touchy and needy and clinging to each other.
yes i am ALSO obsessed with post-divorce era hate sex with as little touching as possible because they have capital I Issues TM and are suffering because they're still touch-starved.
we exist
#alex talks good omens#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable divorce#the final fifteen#i am a very specific bran of person okay#in my mind touch starved and angry sex go SO well together the self denial torture and angst are off the charts#i NEED more#i slurp that shit up like nothing else#unresolved touch-starved tension or whatever you wanna call it#make me suffer and then make them HUG
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I am (not) sorry for showing this idea to the EPIC fandom,,
Timeloop A.U w/ Odysseus. Timeloop resets back to waking up to the Wind Bag opening every time Ody’ either dies or falls asleep after making it back home & after killing the Suitors bc hehe suffer short man 🤌🧍♂️.
so ye, obviously u got the usual Timeloop Angst + added trauma & all that,,,,, ye, ye, uh nu & also said Timeloop has ‘:3ly’ caused some lasting changes on Ody’ like more of his Demigod genes showing (+ added Demigod uncannyness hehehaha), scars of previous Loop wounds now appearing & staying on his body, body acclimating to have basically inhuman reflexes, strengh, all that Demigod jazz. Including: insane muscle memory.
Including the muscle memory of taking massive God Cock / Kinky Deity Stuff. Just- hear me out pls 😇
imagine, Ody’s’ currently on like, what??? The 997 Loop??? Kinda lost basically any and all previous remains of moral?, EXTREMELY FUCKING BORED- also kinda given up all hope of finding a way to break out of this living hell??? (So the usual stuff for timeloops). Now just trying to pass the now constantly resetting time??????? Has currently made it up to Thunderbringer & is feeling a bit less apathetic towards his crew plus just feels like switching things up from them dying again lol he’s very numb rn so:
decides he’s feeling for some ‘There Are Other Ways’ type activity (minus the attempted murder,,,, tho-), precedes to seduce Zeus n get whisked away to be bed, while crew is now being blown towards home, with a lot of shet 2 think about rn ggggfff but anyway & just when Zeus is smugly revealing his big ahh dick, he expects Ody’ to be wide eyed, maybe a bit horrified on “how is that suppose to fit????”, only to look down and. The mortal is just. Staring blankly (almost bored—) at his member, bc, he’s seen it before, taken it before, & at first, in those first few sexy encounter! Loops, it had been overwhelming, had felt rlly big & full inside of him,, but now???.
Ody’s’ body remembered the fullness, the stretch, the overstimulation, the ridiculous feeling of power radiating from it, matching who it belonged to hahaja- & now knew how to take it without nearly,,,,, any problem lmao.
it gets even more weird & a bit distressing 4 Zeus when he’s like “oooooookay- ehemanyways- I can still work w/ this & get the usual reactions” n starts doing the usual (to Odysseus ‘routine’) preparation n teasing. Is barely started when Ody’ silently huffs, still very bored, reaches out and grabs Zeus’s cock, lifts himself up towards the King of Gods while smoothly positioning said wiener :) to be right under his hole, & before Zeus can get a word out due to mental buffering (knew this bitch had balls but what—), he slides down onto his dick in one swift motion.
this has also happened w/ Poseidon. W/ both of them in fact, in Loops before :333333.
cue, the literal-out-of-the-Loop(s) crisis from Zeus :D🫶🫶🫶. (one of the many to be expected from everyone lolo)
,,idk I jst want feral man baffling dem Gods, & in general:
turning up the Monstertm to. 16.
(technically) cannibalising Deities :3.
looking at his whole crew dying like 😐.
trolling crew w/ Demigod uncannyness. Especially in serious situations.
using said Demigodness to fuck around, explore, be free & feral :D.
beat the shit out of Calypso.
beat the shit out of sea monsters.
doing the crouching cryptid pose, freaky yellow glowing eyes & all :3.
more murder.
other morally fucked stuff idk yet <].
#shitpost#bullshit to keep me going ♾️✨#epic zeus#epic the musical#epic fandom#epic odysseus#epic poseidon#feral behaviour mentioned#Tw nsft#tw size difference#tw implied violence#tw implied death#zeusseus#odysseus x zeus#odysseus x poseidon#odyseidon#mentioned anyway#time loop#Feral! Odysseus#Feral Odysseus#Lmao I luv pulling the Timeloop A.U on my fav characters like#Yes please do suffer & become batshit insane#tw implied sex#thunderclap#salty#would put their poly ship names but. I don’t have enough room i think#Pure crack right here ha#Odysseus in the blender (suffer :)) AKA Timeloop A.U#Also technically#manwhore au
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“im glad that at least one of us has maternal instincts” zhu when i fucking get you >:(((
#ma was so happyyy with the kid oh my goooooddddd#rlly i REMEMBER when i finished reading swbts i was rooting for zhu/ma messy divorce in the second book dkfgjdk#when zhu is like oh i know that every step in my journey to greatness will only bring suffering to ma but well. sucks to be her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#MA BABY LISTEN TO ME NOW DUMP HIS AAASS!!!!#i was at least hoping ma would yell at her until zhu realized she fucked up big time but alas :(((#once again tragedy of characters bound to society's roles :(((#fr in a kinder future modern au ma should dump zhu's ass a few times#and then get back together with them juuuusttt as baoxiang is gearing up to shoot his shot#laying his heart at her feet and she's just like ah that's so sweet of you but uh. the call of toxic lesbian situationship was too strong#you see i'm 95% of zhu's morality#we're getting married tomorrow <3#and so ma is off getting 6 orgasms in a row while wbx is once again rebounding on mid nefarious sex with ayushiridara#u see the vision#anyway ONTO HWDTW WHO'S READY FOR THINGS TO GET MUCH WORSEE??? YIPPPEEEEE#tre reread#send post
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Imagine. Imagine a new ritual in-game where the temple tries to convert a demon PC back to a normal human again. Like some type of shit involving a high rank temple member cumming inside PC 7 times (Because 7 is the holy number supposedly? Jajsjajsja)—Preferably Jordan
Spoiler: It doesn't fucking work. This is just an excuse to have porn with plot, ok??? I am at my wit's end cuz I haven't been able to draw Jordan in a GOOD while and I just need them???
I NEED YURI SEX, YAOI SEX, WHATEVER THE FUCK IS AVAILABLE WITH JORDAN 😭
#THIS IS A CALL FOR HELP#SOMEONE DRAW THEM FOR ME#TAKE THEM TO THE MOON FOR ME#I NEED—#I AM CAGED LIKE AN ANIMAL BECAUSE OF COLLEGE AND I BARELY HAVE TIME TO ANSWER ASKS LET ALONE DRAW MY POOKIE#This is not a rambling this is just a pure display of suffering#and horniness#do I want to fuck Jordan? no#but I WANT MY PC TO DO IT#YURI SEX DOESNT LEAVE MY MIND#Idk just smtg about sister Jordan lately#I am probably going to wake uo in a few hours and ask myself what the fuck did I just write#and you guys are going to see my full blown embarrassment as soon as it happens#I am down bad#fuck#dol jordan#jordan the pious#dol#an apology to my followers and moots in advance#BUT I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
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The "ohhhh fuck dolphins, dolphins are evil they kill and rape, ohh otters are evil they rape seal babies, not so cute now are they" people are like the children who would smugly tell anyone who would listen that ring around the rosie is about people dying of the plague. Like ok. Do I need to explain how high intelligence correlates with complex behavior or can you shut the fuck up on your own
#stop trying to cancel dolphins. they can't be 'evil' they haven't developed a moral sense like ours. our morals cant be applied#what do you think you're accomplishing by telling ppl to hate vulnerable species. this take is so stupid it gives me a headache#this goes beyond pet peeve all these people can suck my free willy#what if i started saying 'ohhh they rape and kill bet you feel stupid now' under videos of like. people.#like yeah. some animals have figured out that sex feels good but don't yet have understanding of others' suffering.#they can't be 'good' or 'evil' by human standards. they have a variety of complex behaviors whether they are helpful or harmful to others#animal behavior#dolphins#otters#zoology#sa mention#sa tw#just in case#not soc
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The sooner people remember that the way we treat fictional characters is not the same the way we treat real people, the fucking better.
#fandom#its sad that people stupidly forgot it#no me loving smut doesnt make me obsessed with sex irl#nor me loving angst means i like seeing my loved ones suffer#this is ridiculous#stop making it weird
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of course terfs would get mad at a post reminding them that there’s more to being a woman than misery and suffering: they’re misogynists. they hate women. their misogyny is just the ‘woke’ kind where they re-enforce the idea that women are weaker and stupider and generally less capable compared to men but like, in a ‘feminist’ way 🤪💅
when you hate women and genuinely believe they are inferior, that they are lesser, it’s impossible to see that there’s any joy or pride or anything positive about being a woman. especially if you yourself are a woman who believes in this kind of self-deprecating mindset.
#terfs haven’t opened their eyes to misogyny and sexism they are hyperfocused on it#so much so to the point where nothing else exists#misogyny exists and the world is unfair and therefore it always will be and women will always suffer and be miserable#how could anyone be happy when other people are being treated unjustly?? they must be fake women#they must be pretending to be women. that’s the only possible explanation#because all REAL women know is be weak and dainty and dumb and subservient and lesser#no REAL women could ever beat a man at chess or throwing darts or jeopardy or any sport or ANYTHING#men are better than women in every single way and there’s nothing we can do about it besides warn young girls of the suffering of womanhood#do you think maybe there in lies the problem with your way of thinking??#your train of thought shouldn’t stop at ‘men are better than women’#(which isn’t even objectively true by the way. which you’d know if you weren’t a misogynist)#if you really cared about women you actually be trying to do something for little girls to be hopeful about in the future#so maybe they can grow up and realize that being a girl isn’t so terrible and awful and miserable#but no. you’d rather focus on problems that don’t matter and attack and shame women who don’t agree with you#or don’t look like how your whitewashed eurocentric idealized version of what a woman should look like#or god forbid do sex work and actually be comfortable and happy and proud of that line of work and lifestyle#yeah. those are the real issues REAL women should care about#give me a fucking break#anti terf#misogyny /
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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#whew! i did it!#maior hawke pt#fenhawkebela#maior x isabela x fenris#grapecase plays da2#taking a lot of esc convos and playing thsi go round on casual not normal#bc im not suffering this nonsense for the polyam#but i WILL replay for that fictional dick#roflmao#so fucking funny to me how isabela is like THIS IS NOT SERIOUS and fenris is like I CANT DO THIS!!!#and theyre both just walking around with 'devoted to you' armbands post sex#and sebastian is just there in the bg. glad to be included. reminding them that theyre not alone and the Maker loves them#eyeing the armbands and hawke and blushing like maior is like going about her business#rofl!#team THE EMOTIONS ARE TOO OVERWHELMING D/T OUR PAST TRAUMAS AND LIVELIHOODS BUT WE'RE STILL GONNA TAG ALONG MAKING COW EYES#(as merrill puts it)
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god. i have like three billion things im trying to write at once and i cant focus on fucking ANY OF THEM because im stressed about MOVING AT THE END OF THE MONTH AND FINDING A JOB IN THE CITY
#RAGHGHHH#pain. suffering#im just opening and closing my various word docs and staring at my fucken computer like O_o#ive got bug boy rolan deep ive got weird fizzfangs sex ive got tidalwave ive got pd villains ive got wiwi and the greats#AND i want to start writing an original fiction story but i havent started yet. explodes#so many fuckinmg. THINGS!!!!!!!!!#aghhhhhhh. someone tell me what to focus on. i need direction#whiskey yelling into the void
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Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?
/takes angycat.png typing to my tags
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.#[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ]#[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ]#[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ]#[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ]#[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ]#[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ]#[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ]#[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ]#[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ]#[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ]#[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ]#[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ]#[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ]#[ the fanon i hate so much. ]#[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]
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everyone including my parents: *complains nonstop about their children*
me: I don’t want kids
everyone including my parents: what do you mean you don’t want kids? Kid’s are the greatest thing in the world. You’ll never be fulfilled in life unless you have kids. You’re missing out.
me: 🙃
#But for real why is it like this#I think it’s because they want me to suffer like they have suffered#Sorry I like spending my limited money on myself#Sorry I like spending my limited free time on myself#Even people who know I’m ace and sex repulsed tell me I should adopt instead#Like trust me I’m not worried#I am not missing out on anything
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