#i slurp that shit up like nothing else

[actual-changeling]

yes i am obsessed with touch-starved crowley and aziraphale being touchy and needy and clinging to each other.

yes i am ALSO obsessed with post-divorce era hate sex with as little touching as possible because they have capital I Issues TM and are suffering because they're still touch-starved.

we exist

[br0kenangel]

┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤ ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤ ┊ㅤ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

𝑌𝐴𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝐸 𝐵𝑈𝐿𝐿𝑌 who's obsessed with your pussy ⁺¹⁸

Yandere bully who is so mean to you in public, constantly teasing and making you cry, taunting you in front of everyone, pushing your buttons just to see you break. "What's wrong, baby? Gonna cry again?" He grins, acting like the bitch he's known to be. But in private, he's on his knees, your obedient pet, begging to please you however you want.

Yandere bully who's addicted to you, desperate for your approval. He'll do anything to have you, anything to make you cum, anything to feel like he's worthy of your attention -even if it means pushing you to the brink of pleasure every chance he gets.

Yandere bully who gets you alone any chance he gets and makes you cum over and over again, his cruel exterior gone as he worships you with his mouth and hands. "You're so fucking beautiful when you cum for me. 'Il do anything for you, baby." His fingers don't stop, even when you're shaking, his lips constantly moving over your sensitive skin, drawing out orgasm after orgasm until you can't take it anymore.

Yandere bully who loves catching you off guard when you're trying to study, slipping under the table and spreading your legs without a word. His fingers slip inside you while his tongue circles your clit, licking and sucking on it like he can't get enough. You try to concentrate, but it's impossible, and he knows it. "Come on, baby, keep studying while I make you feel good." He smirks against you, watching you fall apart as he fingers you under the desk.

Yandere bully who loves to suck on his lollipop in front of you, popping it in and out of his mouth with a teasing grin, only to push it inside your pussy without warning. "How's that feel, baby? Bet you never thought this sweet thing could fuck you, huh?" He moves it in and out, his eyes locked on your expression as he watches you struggle. And when he's done, he pulls it out, licks it clean, and goes right back to sucking on it like nothing happened, savoring your taste mixed with the candy.

Yandere bully who acts like he's in control, always smug and cruel with the things he says, but the moment you're soaking wet and he's got his mouth on you, it's like he's a different person. "Fuck, I can't get enough of this. You taste so good, baby... I need more, please."

Yandere bully who moans like he's the one getting head whenever he's between your legs, his voice breaking as he eat you out. He can't help the sounds slipping out of his mouth, so lost in the taste of you that he's grinding himself against the mattress. "Fuck, baby... you taste so fucking good. I'm gonna lose it.." The pleasure in his voice is unreal, like he's the one being pleasured.

Yandere bully who gets absolutely lost between your legs, so pussy-drunk he forgets everything else around him. His mouth is buried between your thighs, licking and kissing like he's been deprived of it for days. He's groaning into you, the wet sounds echoing as he slurps up everything you give him, completely obsessed.

Yandere bully who talks directly to your pussy like it's a person, his voice low and ragged, whispering how good it is, how perfect it feels for him. "Fuck, baby, you're so fucking sweet.. So good for me. God, I'm never letting you go." He kisses it like it's his lips, muttering praises to it while his tongue laps you up.

Yandere bully who gets so messy and sloppy, his face drenched with your slick, but he doesn't care. The more you give him, the more he wants, making filthy, lewd noises as he fuck you with his tongue. "Shit... I can't get enough. I need more, more of you." He's never satisfied, his fingers spreading you open just so he can see how you pulse for him.

Yandere bully who doesn't just lick, he makes love to your pussy with his mouth, slow at first, dragging his tongue in long strokes like he's savoring every taste. Then he's frantic, desperate, his lips locking around your clit, sucking so hard you can't hold back your moans, and he loves it. "Fuck, baby, you're so wet for me. Keep making those sounds, I'm fucking addicted to this."

Yandere bully who can't keep his hands off, always pinching and smacking your pussy between sloppy licks, just to watch it bounce and twitch under his touch. "God, I love seeing you like this, so swollen and needy for me." He'd smack it again, the sound so lewd it makes you blush.

Yandere bully who loves to spits on your pussy, his eyes dark with lust as he watches his saliva drip onto you before diving in with his tongue. "Look at this, baby. So fucking messy for me, just how I like it." He grins, dragging his tongue through the wetness and your slick, slurping noisily like he's savoring every second of it.

Yandere bully who bites your pussy just to see your reaction, his teeth grazing over your swollen lips, nipping at your sensitive skin. "Come on, baby, don't squirm. You know you love it when I get a little rough with you." His voice is low, teasing, as he watches your body jerk at the sensation. He alternates between soft kisses and sharp bites, pushing your limits.

Yandere bully who buries his face deeper, tongue pushing into you as far as it can go while his nose grinds against your clit. He groans with each taste, like he's drowning in pleasure just from having you on his lips. "You're so fucking perfect. I could eat this forever:" His words are so slurred and desperate, like he's too far gone to think straight anymore.

Yandere bully who tells you he loves you for the first time when you squirt into his mouth, the taste driving him so insane that the confession slips out before he can stop it. "Fuck... I love you. I fucking love you." His voice is hoarse, and he's groaning like he's the one cumming, licking up every drop you give him as his face gets soaked in your release. He's a mess, panting, eyes wide as the reality of what he just said settles in, but he doesn't take it back.

Yandere bully who gets so overwhelmed eating you out that he cums in his pants without even touching himself, his body shaking with how much he's lost in it. He's a mess, his cock twitching in his soaked boxers while he keeps his mouth on you. "Oh god.. fuck.. I'm cumming... I can't- shit-"And even after he cums, he still doesn't stop, licking up every drop of you like it's his lifeline.

Yandere bully who grinds himself against the bed, getting off just by eating you out, humping the mattress as he moans into you, obsessed with how you taste and feel. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum just like this... you're too fucking good. I can't take it..."

Yandere bully who stays between your legs even after you're spent, lazily licking and kissing, his breath hot against your sensitive skin. "l'm not done... Stay still..." His voice is low, almost hoarse, as he presses one last kiss against your pussy, so utterly drunk on it that he can't stop himself.

Yandere bully who takes so many pictures of your pussy that his phone is filled with them. He's got one as his lock screen, grinning every time he unlocks his phone and sees it there. "God, you're so fucking pretty. I can't get enough." He pulls out his phone to take even more photos when you're spread out for him, snapping pictures while muttering to himself about how perfect you look. He's gross, but he doesn't care-he's obsessed with having every part of you to himself.

Yandere bully who wants to shave you himself, his hands steady as he moves the razor over your skin, but it always ends the same way-with him making you cum so hard that your pussy is swollen and puffy by the time he's done. "You look so cute like this... all swollen for me." His fingers trace over your sensitive skin, teasing you even more, knowing you're already overstimulated. He never stops until you've cum over and over again, leaving you a trembling, swollen mess.

Yandere bully who isn't satisfied until he's made you cum more times than you can count, watching you shake and scream, completely addicted to the way your body reacts. "Look at you.. all mine. No one else gets to touch you like this. Only me." He's possessive, obsessed, and so pussy-drunk that he's practically begging for more, even when you can't take it anymore.

Yandere bully who cries when you cum on his tongue, so overwhelmed by how sweet you taste that tears well up in his eyes. He's moaning and sobbing, his face soaked with a mixture of your wetness and his tears. "You're so fucking sweet.. so perfect... fuck, I can't take it..."He presses his face deeper into you, tongue flicking desperately, crying with how much he loves the way you feel.

Yandere bully who steals your dirty panties every chance he gets, slipping them into his pocket when you're not looking. He hides them away just so he can sniff and lick them later, getting off to your scent like a total pervert. "God, you smell so fucking good.. I can't stop thinking about İt." He presses the fabric to his nose, groaning as he grinds against the bed, cumming hard while licking your panties, completely high.

Yandere bully who can be the meanest, most disgusting version of himself, using your body for his pleasure, but you can feel the way he's addicted to you, how much he needs to please you. It's a twisted game between love and hate-he's cruel, mean, but the moment he's got his hands on you, he can't stop himself from worshipping you in the most filthy, desperate ways possible.

@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐�� 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

[starkeyisthelastname]

trailerpark!rafe wakes up with one thing on his mind and it’s not what you are baking. 💦🍯 dirty sex below

Your pretty little self loved to bake and that didn’t stop even when you were over at Rafe’s. He had just woken up, tall body stretching as he lifted himself off the worn mattress. His nose caught a whiff of something sweet, his heavy footsteps carrying him through the creaky trailer and towards the small kitchen. You were quite the sight to take in, standing by the oven as your pretty eyes surveyed the pan you had just taken out by the looks of it. In nothing but a little pink nightgown with the fat of your ass hanging out and nipples poking through the thin material, had his mouth watering for something else sweet.

“Whatcha doing up so early, sugar?” His raspy voice vibrated through the kitchen as you began mixing the icing together. You got a little startled as when you were baking you were in your own world. You were of course happy he was awake though, bouncing on your feet to face him. “Making cinnamon rolls.” You told him, his large hands coming to roughly squeeze your waist.

His blue eyes looked over at the stove, before glancing down at you and raking across your body that looked tiny in comparison to his. “Cinnamon rolls, huh? You always gotta make somethin’ sweet for me. Don’t you?” He asked, voice low as he brought one of his hands up to grip your chin firmly.

You didn’t hesitate to nod, eyes wide and lashes long as they blinked up at your favorite person. Rafe let out a throaty laugh, his thumb coming up to rest against your pouty bottom lip. “I’m gonna do somethin’. Yeah? And don’t start worrying’ about those cinnamon rolls you made either.” He rasped out, watching your pretty face frown.

He moved your bowl of icing to the side, your little protest about it being cut short as he lifted you up onto the counter. He pulled you further down, his massive hand yanking your tits out of the nightgown and bunching it around your waist to see your perfect cunt. “Shit… pussy is beggin’ to be fuckin’ touched.” He laughed, his thumb coming out to rub your sweet pearl in circles. He loved watching you shudder, not knowing what to do as you were still new to all of these dirty things. He smirked, leaning down to bury his pert nose against your clit and shove tongue in your hole.

He was addicted, your cunt like a drug to him as he slurped your sweet sugar up. He couldn’t get enough, blunt nails digging into your fleshy thighs as he ate you like the poor starved man he was. Your sweet whines above only making him want more. He didn’t give a damn how messy he got either, moving his head back and forth as he buried his tongue even further to make you squeal.

His heavy blue eyes watched as you looked down him, your tits swaying as you breathed heavily from pleasure. He pulled back, sliding a thick digit in which you automatically clenched around. “That’s my good little fuckdoll.” He murmured, his free hand coming up to slap your tits. “I’m about to fuckin’ pound your pretty cunt sweet baby.”

His facial hair was sticky with your juices, tickling your neck as his thick cock rammed into you. He let out a breathy groan against your soft skin, the hard smacks of his thrusts echoing off the trailer walls. You were a babbling mess, his big dick stretching your drenched hole and his words growing dirtier.

He pulled away from your neck, both his large hands coming on either side of your head to hold it in place. His piercing eyes bored into you, making your corrupted little brain spin. “Fuck, how’d I get so lucky? Baking me treats and shit. Cleaning up this shithole of a place for me. Gettin’ to breed you with my little trailer park babies.” He said, making your eyes roll back as that funny feeling was growing more in your tummy. Especially the way held you and place, making you take his monster dick and hear his dirty words.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Okay, so vampire Eddie is a pretty standard trope at this point, but may I offer...Twilight vampire Eddie who is absolutely pissed off about his sparkly existence?

Eddie actually isn't that old, he was turned in the 80s when he was around 20. He lives with his small and not only vampire family. There's patriarch Wayne, his partner Scott who always becomes a teacher no matter where they move, Claudia Henderson and her son that have been with them ever since Scott noticed Dustin being unusually quiet in his class and soon after, Wayne kicked out his abusive father.

The problem with living with a smart man who loves educating people and a man who never received the education he deserved is - they take school really, really seriously. Whenever they move, Eddie usually has to re-join high school, it's all "just so that you have some socialization! Also we need to be able to blend in, so look around and see what's normal with young people! Also I'm pretty sure some of the stuff we know is now obsolete or disproven, so make sure to tell us!". And Eddie loves Wayne and Scott, he really does, but he had trouble blending in even when he was alive, so now? Impossible. As for gathering information, Eddie has been trying for decades to explain to Wayne that even if becoming a vampire healed the wounds from the lynching mob, it didn't do shit for his ADHD, so there. Wayne finds Eddie banging his head into a desk one day and chanting "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-TIK-TOK?!"

So yes, Eddie hates being a forever highschooler, but it also means he can run DnD clubs everywhere he joins and he's not even lynched for it like in the 80s, so hey, progress! He gets mostly content with his existence, except that he's fucking sparkly and can't turn into a bat, so what's the point?!

But then a huge group of people moves from the close town of Hawkins, they had a really fucked up earthquake - Wayne told him all about it, he often volunteered in rescue and high risk works, and he's never seen anything like it - and their little town becomes way more crowded. There are high school freshmen just begging to be introduced to his club, Hellfire, although one of them is scary observant and Eddie is really sure that Jane knows he's a vampire.

And then there's Steve Harrington. A young man with the prettiest hair ever who joined Eddie's class, apparently he needs to repeat the last year too because if your school burns down, you can't take final exams. He's stupidly pretty, snarky, bitchy, and even though he could be partying day and night and spending the rest of his time on dates, he prefers to hang around with the freshmen. Lucas tells him one day that Steve got badly hurt when he was digging through the collapsed middle school, finding and rescuing their whole group, and well...Eddie respects that. Dustin absolutely loves Steve and maybe Eddie feels a bit jealous, but he has to admit - the guy is cool.

The problem with Steve Harrington is this - he's seen so much shit that nothing really fazes him. Eddie loves shocking people. Steve is unshockable. It becomes their little game, they get close, Eddie realizes he has an embarrassing crush, all that jazz. He tries dropping hints, he slurps his bloody lunch from a bottle that has a "THIS IS DEFINITELY TOMATO JUICE AND NOTHING ELSE". He wears a cape. He adopts a horrible Dracula accent. Nothing works. Steve always just laughs and tells him that he's weird and that's why he likes him.

Finally, Eddie has enough. They walk in the woods to get high, Eddie decides to break the ice, he scoops up Steve, does his whole dashing-through-the-woods thing, and he hopes that he can finally share his secret with Steve.

Except Steve just pats his back and says "Wow, that was cool, man! You'd be amazing at track. Great core strength too," and Eddie's head implodes.

"Okay, Steve. Don't you think there's something rotten here?" he tries.

"I mean, it's the woods. Of course there's something rotting all the time."

Eddie tries again. "You've noticed something strange, haven't you. I'm inhumanly fast and strong."

"I sure didn't expect that! You must be secretly training. I didn't know this town had a gym."

Again. "My skin is pale white and ice cold."

Steve is watching a nearby squirrel instead of looking horrified. "Yeah, not all people tan great, Robin is like that too. And I told you, man. Your circulation is shit, you need better socks and some gloves too."

"My eyes change color."

"Yeah, I know, I do envy you that you can wear those cool contact lenses. My eyes are too dry for that."

Eddie is growing desperate, he's gesturing at the trees because Steve doesn't listen. "I speak like I'm from a different time."

"80s slashers will do that to you. You basically live on those. But I gotta admit that they're pretty fun. Oh look, she's got an acorn! Clever girl!"

"Very clever. Also I never eat or drink anything."

"Hey, I'm not judging. Some people prefer one or two meals in a day instead of the whole five meal thing."

Eddie feels like howling and he isn't even a werewolf. "I. DON'T. GO. INTO. THE. SUNLIGHT."

Steve's eyes finally leave the squirrel. "Duh. We've already established you can't tan."

And Eddie's had enough. He tears off his t-shirt, marches directly into the sunlight and throws the biggest tantrum of his life. "STEVEN HARRINGTON. PAY ATTENTION. I am 20. I have been 20 for a while now. You know what I am, right? I am a vampire. So ask me the question, what do we eat? That wasn't a fucking tomato juice Steven!!!"

Steve just watches him with quiet amusement, as if he's waiting for something.

Eddie doesn't notice. His monologue is reaching its most dramatic part. "I've killed people before! I'm the world's most dangerous predator!"

Steve snorts. "I saw you trip over your own feet in the cafeteria."

"Not the point!"

"You told a waitress "you too" when she told you to enjoy your meal."

Eddie actually howls now. "THE POINT IS." He spins in the sunlight and sees the reflections of light off his skin. "I wouldn't have minded becoming a vampire, but let me tell you. Being stuck in high school forever? Sucks. Craving chips and throwing them up whenever you try them? SUCKS. And thinking you've become the legendary creature of the night when you're a glorified glitter mascot?! And you can't even fly?! DOUBLE SUCKS."

He points at his bare glittering chest. "THIS THE SKIN OF A FUCKING DISCO BALL, STEVE!"

Steve just laughs and gets up from the tree stump he was sitting on. "Thanks for sharing. I was kinda hoping you'd finally ask me out since this is the first time we've had some privacy, but this was interesting too."

Eddie's sharing mania suddenly stops. He realizes he's shirtless in the middle of the forest, and his yelling has scared off the squirrel. He promptly grabs his shirt and puts in on. "Um. You...you wanted me to ask you out? Because I totally want to do that. Yep. But I thought it would have been unfair to ask you before I told you-"

"That you're a vampire? Dude, I know."

Eddie blinks once. Then again. "Excusemewhat?"

Steve smiles at him and touches his hand. "Look. After what happened in Hawkins, I know the smell of blood. I knew it wasn't tomato juice. Also I've accompanied the kids to enough monster flicks to know."

"Oh." Eddie licks his lips and doesn't really know what to say. "Um. What...does that mean for us?"

Laughing, Steve grabs his other hand too. "Definitely two things. One - you can and should kiss me. Two - you can stop wearing that cape. I got your point."

"Oh okay. Cool. Will do. Both."

And since Eddie Munson is a vampire of his word, he does.

(Wayne is absolutely delighted that Eddie is dating, he watches sports with Steve and discusses the pros and cons of Steve becoming a paramedic. Scott helps Steve with some of the subjects he's struggling with. In return, Steve works with Robin to find a makeup brand that is fully sparkleproof, giving the vampires a chance to walk in the sunlight again. And sometimes, he helps them answer the questions that have been plaguing the Munson-Clarke-Henderson household for years...such as: what is TikTok?)

(oh and also. Turns out Steve really thought Eddie was wearing creepy contact lenses. That one aspect of vampyrism he found very cool)

[wordsarelife]

—superman

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo won’t leave you alone after you broke your leg, you’re not sure you appreciate it that much

warnings: leg injury, but nothing else i think

students were jumping to the side as pansy parkinson was rushing through the halls of hogwarts, eager to spot the dark-haired boy she had been looking for for the past ten minutes.

“theo!” pansy called when she spotted him in the library, chatting away with the rest of their friends.

“hey, pansy” theo greeted but he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed her expression. “are you alright?”

“it’s not me” pansy shook her head “it’s y/n”

the chair made a loud sound as it was pushed over the floor as theo stood up abruptly “is she alright?”

“she’s in the infirmary” pansy turned around and theo was close behind her, following her back out of the library and down the hall.

“what happened?” theo asked as pansy started moving even faster. “pansy”

“i think it’s something serious” pansy answered “she send me a patronus to get you and meet her there”

“shit” theo was brushing a hand through his hair, his face having lost all its color. they were rushing through the hallway and theo was trying his best to not fall into a sprint, fearing that pansy would not be able to keep up.

finally, the door to the infirmary flew open and theo and pansy walked into the room. a few curtains had been drawn close and madam pomfrey looked up at the sudden commotion.

“mister nott, miss parkinson” she greeted friendly and like she had suspected them both to arrive here soon

“where is y/n?” pansy asked out of breath

madam pomfrey smiled and pointed to the bed a few ones down. the curtain was closed and theo, closely followed by pansy, rushed forward, pulling it to the side.

“hey guys” you were sitting in bed, eating some jell-o. the rest of your body was under the blanket and a bit of your foot, wrapped up in blue bandages, showed up at the end.

“are you alright?” theo asked confused

“oh yeah” you laughed, making a throwaway hand gesture “i’m perfectly fine. poppy has been keeping me company”

“poppy?” pansy repeated confused. her and theo exchanged a glance, while you were busy waving at madam pomfrey

“this jell-o is amazing!”

“thank you, dear” she smiled and theo watched you gulp another giant piece of bright green jell-o.

“do you guys want some?” you held the bowl in their direction but both of them shook their heads.

“what happened? why are you even here?” theo asked

“yeah” pansy added, crossing her arms “and why do you call madam pomfrey poppy?” she whispered

“well, i fell down my broom” you brushed the blanket to the side, exposing your bandaged foot “it’s broken and it hurt like hell to put back in place, but whatever” you shrugged, slurping the rest of your jell-o down

“what?” theo and pansy exclaimed at the same time.

“i’ve been here for some time” you nodded “so poppy and i became kinda friends i guess”

“so when exactly did you have that accident?” theo asked exasperated

“oh, like this morning?” you wondered “right before classes began”

“it’s almost seven” pansy noted “that’s like ten hours ago, y/n”

“she’s right” theo nodded “you only thought about calling us now?”

“well you were in class and then i slept for a while, so yeah” you shrugged your shoulders, while your friends exchanged confused glances.

"so, y/n" madam pomfrey said when she came back to your bed "i'd say you're good to go. i got you a few more pain potions from professor snape that you can take whenever you feel like you need some, but apart from that you should be alright. we can remove the cast in two weeks, thanks to the quick healing potion i gave you"

"thank you, poppy"

the woman nodded, before she called for a house elf, who brought you crutches you could use during the time your leg needed to heal.

"you're free to take her back to the common room" madam pomfrey instructed pansy and theo. "she needs a bit of rest, but she should be alright to go back to classes on monday"

"so soon?" theo's eyes widened and the protectiveness was evident in his voice.

"of course, mr nott" madam pomfrey laughed at the boys eagerness "we don't want her to miss too much, or grow bored in her dorm, but i'm sure that y/n will gracefully accept any assistance you're willing to provide"

she really shouldn't have said that last part, because theo eagerly nodded. at that moment you had thought that theo's help would be a blessing, but over the coming week you quickly learned how wrong your judgement had been.

he spend every minute close to you, and with that there was no exception. even when you went to the toilet, he was waiting in front of the door for you to return.

he carried your books to every class, even if you didn't share it and made sure to wait after it was over. he often even carried you around, claiming that it had to be far too straining for you to walk around on crutches the whole day.

you loved theo for all the care he was directing your way, but you were also getting tired of it.

it wasn't until thursday that you were able to escape his sight for the first time. and that was only thanks to pansy and mattheo, who had promised you to keep him occupied so you could slip away.

you arrived at the infirmary quicker than you had thought was possible due to your injury, but you were sure it was because of the fear that theo was already chasing you.

"y/n" madam pomfrey said surprised when she saw you standing in the door.

"poppy" you ecxlaimed relieved at the sight of the older woman. "you have to give me something that'll make my leg heal faster, please"

"i can't" madam pomfrey shook her head "the healing potion i gave you a few days ago is the quickest there is. it's only one more week, i'm sure you can wait that long"

"no" you shook your head "another week is way too long"

"i'm sorry, but you'll have to endure that" madam pomfrey excused "healing takes time, sweetheart, like everything else"

"okay, sure" you nodded "can you take me back then? it's probably not beneficial for me to walk around and possibly jeopardize the healing"

madam pomfrey laughed and you send her a sulky look, before she suddenly stopped.

"oh" she exclaimed surprised "you were serious"

"of course" you crossed your arms, which was kind of hard with the crutches still in hand "i wouldn't joke about such a thing, poppy"

"but why would you—"

"here you are" you turned around slowly, like voldemort himself was standing behind you. it wasn't voldemort, but you had to admit, that you would've preferred him.

"theo" you smiled through clenched teeth.

"i searched half the castle for your whereabouts" now that he mentioned it, he did sound out of breath. "walking through the whole castle must've been tiring for you, why didn't you ask me to come with you? i could've carried you if necessary"

you turned your head to look at madam pomfrey, who seemed to slowly understand your situation as she looked a bit disturbed about theo's monologue. you send her a look to the extent of: this is what i had to deal with all week, before you turned back to the boy behind you.

"it's alright, theo" you smiled "i'm fine, really"

"are you sure, love?" theo furrowed his brows "because we do have to walk all the way back and down to the dungeons. you know what? maybe it would be smarter for me to carry you" he was already bending down, a hand on the small of your back, while his other was reaching for your healthy leg.

your eyes widened at that and you jumped away, so his hand was grabbing the air. theo furrowed his brows, but did not say anything, as he walked a step closer and tried the same again, with you hopping away just before he could reach your leg with his hand once more.

"what are you doing?" theo muttered as he grew embarrassed of your little charade in front of madam pomfrey.

madam pomfrey was grinning at the ridiculous dance the two of you were acting out in front of her eyes. she almost felt sorry for theo as he helplessly tried to lift you off the ground, back bend and his body in an umcomfortable stretch.

"what are you—" he reached around you and you quickly slipped away, hiding behind madam pomfrey. "y/n" theo sighed, when he looked up.

"i can walk on my own" you said defensively, one crutch in your hand, the other laying on the ground beside theo.

"but it's easier if i just carry you" theo pleaded "come on, don't be difficult"

you perked your nose up, offended by his words.

theo sighed again. "sorry, that was stupid" he shrugged "can i now help you please?"

you sighed too, exchanging a look with madam pomfrey, who shrugged, before you nodded. you hopped back in theo's direction. collecting your other clutch from the ground before your raised both of them up, waiting for theo to lift you.

"see?" theo mumbled, when you both had said goodbye to madam pomfrey and were on your way back to the slytherin common room. "it's way easier this way"

"yeah, yeah" you nodded, still a bit offended about the way he held you for completely uncapable. you knew he meant good, but god you couldn't wait to get rid of this stupid cast.

he sat you down on the couch, your leg prepped up beside you on a pillow and enlightened the flame in the fireplace.

"thank you, theo" you said reluctantly. "i really do appreciate your help, even if i think you could tone it down a bit"

theo smiled. "it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt"

"it isn't" you assured "but thank you"

you had laid back your head, lazily closing your eyes. theo was right, walking around all day was tiring for you.

"don't be a baby, draco" pansy's voice made both theo and you shriek up. you had fallen asleep, his head on top of yours.

"it hurts terribly" draco said defensively.

"i can't be that bad when she let you go back to the common room after two hours in the hospital wing" mattheo remarked.

pansy and mattheo had walked in first. behind them draco... on crutches!

"i don't even understand that! y/n was there for a whole day"

"well, y/n's not such a nuisance" pansy remarked, dashing out of the way, before draco could hit her with one of his crutches.

"what happened?" you asked and it was only then that the three of them noticed theo and you.

"i broke my leg" draco answered "it was a terrible accident, actually"

"was it?" mattheo had to hold back his laughter. "we were trying to finish our divination project, when draco said it was stupid, spilled his tea and promptly slipped on it"

"yeah, as i said, terrible accident"

"deserved accident" pansy corrected "i was not finished with that cup"

"whatever" draco threw himself down on the cushion beside you "the next two weeks are going to be torture.“

"don't worry" you smiled "i bet theo is burning to help you. are you gonna carry him around too, theo?" you asked, turning to your brunette friend and trying hard to stifle your laughter at the expression on his face.

"oh that would be pretty helpful" draco muttered, before theo had a chance to intervene.

"i don't think i—" theo tried explaining, but you interrupted him.

"it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt" you quoted his own words back to him, voice a bit lower than usual "weren't that your words?"

"i can't carry draco around" theo protested again.

"why not?" mattheo smiled smugly, having witnessed all the times theo had insisted on carrying you. "you did carry y/n around a lot"

"that's different"

"how is that different?" pansy wondered. you could see that she was enjoying the way, theo was helplessly searching for a way out of this conversation. "y/n's leg is broken, so is draco's"

"you can't really expect me to do this, guys" theo laughed uncomfortably, his laughter quickly dying out at all your serious expressions.

"don't you love me, mate?" draco asked disappointed and clearly high on medicine.

theo's face turned a shade paler. "draco, it's not that i don't care—"

"come on, theo," draco pouted dramatically, "i'm your best mate. plus, it's your obligation to help friends who are hurt, remember?"

you almost had to giggle. draco was acting totally out of character, clearly being the cause of all the medication madam pomfrey had given him. you could remember how you had felt after..

pansy crossed her arms, thoroughly enjoying theo's discomfort. "you can't argue with that, theo."

theo sighed deeply, realizing there was no way out. "fine, but only if you promise to stop calling me out for being too helpful."

draco's eyes lit up. "deal! now, could you please carry me to my bed? i think the couch isn't comfortable enough for my poor leg."

suppressing a groan, theo bent down to lift draco. as he did, draco whispered, "be gentle, theo. i’m very fragile right now."

"more than usual?" you laughed and draco crossed his arms, offended at the joke.

mattheo, pansy and you struggled to contain your laughter as theo gingerly picked draco up, muttering under his breath about "suffering for friendship."

draco grinned as theo carried him out of the common room. pansy turned to you, shaking her head in mock disbelief. "honestly, this might be the best entertainment we've had in weeks."

"agreed," you laughed, watching the spectacle.

you all shared a good laugh, your worries about theo's overprotectiveness momentarily forgotten. when theo returned, looking thoroughly exhausted, you couldn't help but smirk.

"enjoy your workout, theo?" you teased.

theo shot you a tired but good-natured glare. "just remember, y/n, i'm doing this out of love."

pansy snorted. "and draco’s enjoying every minute of it out of sheer spite."

"i think he'll come back to his senses tomorrow" mattheo announced, before he, quickly followed by pansy, excused himself to bed.

"in all seriousness" theo said, turning to you after your friends had left "i did it out of love for you too"

you smiled at him, admittedly feeling a bit bad about the way you had treated him, even though he was just trying to help you. "i'm sorry" you excused "i shouldn't have been as dramatic as i was, you were trying to be nice and i ruined it"

"i wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, you know?" theo shrugged "i admire that you always handle things on your own, but it was really courageous and sweet of you to accept my help."

"thanks" you grinned "and just so you know, i did it out of love"

theo's smile widened, his gaze softening as he looked at you. there was a moment of silent understanding between the two of you, a mutual recognition of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. slowly, he leaned in closer, his hand gently reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

your heart skipped a beat as his warm breath tickled your skin. the air around you seemed to crackle with anticipation as he closed the gap between you. his lips met yours in a tender kiss, a gentle affirmation of the unspoken emotions that had brought you both here.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and contentment.

“i’m glad i finally did that” he admitted.

"me too," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his cheek. "but you could've kissed me without hurting your back all week"

"well, any reason to be close to you is a good one" he grinned sheepishly, before he kissed you again.

[babygorewhore]

Greedy

Older! Rafe Cameron x fem reader!

Rafe is normally selfish in bed, doesn’t care about anyone’s pleasure but his own until he meets you.

This is a little blurb. Less than 1k words.

Warnings! Age gap! Reader is 25 and Rafe is 33! Oral! Fem receiving! Unprotected sex! Rafe covers your mouth so idk if that’s choking because I’m stupid. Also not proofread because I don’t have the willpower today. Dividers by the sexy, @xxbimbobunnyxx

Rafe normally didn’t eat a lot of pussy; he didn’t usually care enough to. If he didn’t pound someone until they saw stars right away, if he was feeling generous, he would sometimes use his fingers first. But you? The twenty five year old girl who was dog sitting for him, he literally dreamed about burying his face between your legs.

At thirty three, he was very used to female attention. You were different. You interested him, made him laugh and you made him feel…soft. He wanted to take care of you, take away all your troubles and of course fuck you until you literally couldn’t walk. And now, Rafe finally had opportunity after two weeks for you to stay over. It was late and dark outside. He didn’t want a young woman as yourself to drive home and he asked you to stay.

He half expected you to hesitate but you surprised him with a “Yes.”

Obviously, he had a guest room but he needed you in his room. And you didn’t have any clothes to change into to sleep in. So, Rafe told you, “You can sleep in one of my shirts.” You were wearing a Halloween shirt, black skirt and boots. Your nails were painted black, you fiddled with your rings as you stood in the doorway of his room.

He picked out a t shirt, nothing else and held it up for you. “Here. This one is comfortable.” Rafe crooked a finger at you as you lingered on the edge, giving you a smirk.

You cleared your throat and approached him, reaching up for the material.

You did the sneaky girl thing where you changed shirts without actually showing him anything in the corner but he didn’t want to scare you into leaving. However, when you looked at him, shirt only going to your thigh and wide eyes peering at him, Rafe extended his hand to you.

“C’mere, doll. I want you to sit down for me.” He guided you to sit on his bed and you did. He nudged your knees apart with leg and he moaned quietly as your panties peeked through. “Fuck, I guess it was pointless for me to give you that shirt. Since I want to just rip it off,”

You shivered and bit your lip, a tinge of shyness overtaking you. “I didn’t think you noticed me like that.” You trialed off and Rafe snorted with a quirked eyebrow.

“Didn’t notice you? Baby girl, normally I’d never be this fuckin nice. Lean back for me and let me taste your sweet pussy.”

You seem to hesitate for a second and Rafe wasn’t going to have it. “None of that overthinking shit, princess. Be a good girl and lay down.” You laid on your back and Rafe kneeled on the ground, pushing your legs apart. He pulled off your panties, the sticky material in the center and your cunt tightened around nothing.

He leaned forward, licking a firm strip around your clit before he flattened it and gripped your thighs. He pushed your legs up, exposing as much of you as possible as he shoved his whole face in. You whimpered and whined, your hands burying in his hair as he moved his head around and tongue fucked your pussy.

“Being so fuckin greedy, hiding this pretty pussy from me.” He grunts as he slurps and sucks your clit, he buries two fingers inside you and curls them upward. Rafe loved how you bucked your hips, moaned and clawed at him as he lapped your cunt.

He had been fucking missing out and he savored every single drop. Rafe slapped your ass and you cried out, “cream on my face, princess. Then I’m gonna fuck you, get it all wet for me.”

Seconds later and you came all over his mouth. Rafe was relentless as he tasted it, keeping his pace with his fingers as you rode out your high and he pulled away. He didn’t bother to wipe his lips as he crawled on top of you and smashed his lips to yours in a deep kiss.

He tugged down his pants and underwear down, ripping away from your mouth with a pant. Rafe pumped himself a few times before he pressed his dick inside. You mewled and threw your head back as he thrusted, his cock splitting you in half. “Shit, you’re so fuckin tight, baby girl. Squeezing me so hard I can barely move, must of really needed this, huh?” He huffed as he moved.

“Mhm, you could have cum from eating me out,” you pointed out and he latched his lips to your neck, hovering above you.

“Can you blame me? You have a fuckin porn star pussy. Bein all selfish and keeping it from me.” He said against your skin and he covered your mouth with his palm.

Your eyes rolled back as he gave you a particularly hard thrust, his balls slapping against your ass before his cum emptied inside you. Your substance mixed with his as you followed suit, you groaned against his hand as he sloppily kept going.

“Aw, my bunny so cock drunk you can’t talk?” He mocked as he removed his palm. You managed to nod as he wickedly smiled. “I’m not fuckin done, princess. Get on your hands and knees. I think you owe me a few more.”

Tagging, @marchsfreakshow @oceandriveab @starkeysprincess @drewstarkeyslut @gri959 @redhead1180 @rafescurtainbangz @rafeinterlude @rafesthroatbaby

[tiredcreatur3]

middle aged toji fucking his son’s girlfriend cuz he’s a fucking scumbag of a father and obviously, who wouldn’t wanna fuck a tight lil pussy like that, even the more when you’ve been so so obviously teasing him ever since megumi introduced you to each other.

-

toji’s son, your boyfriend was already asleep on the couch after he decided that he should maybe start visiting his father more often now that he moved away after college and toji lived alone in such a big house.

you couldn’t sleep so you decided to go and get a glass of water in the kitchen, just wearing your boyfriend’s shirt and nothing else because you’ve already visited few times and felt safe enough to do so, panties sticking out as the shirt barely reached the bottom of your ass.

you almost gasped out loud but definitely jumped up a little once you heard your boyfriend’s dad’s deep voice, blushing a little bit as he stood right behind you to get something from the upper cupboard above you.

“ ‘gumi’s asleep?” he asked quietly and you let out a soft ‘yes sir’, taking a sip of your water.

you had to admit that he turned you on, made your panties drenched and tummy all tight. he towered above you, wide shoulders practically hiding you completely and oh, his gaze really did something to you. he was a really attractive guy but from what megumi told you, he was quite the piece of shit yet you couldn’t help but admire him any time you saw him.

obviously, you noticed how he’s been staring at you ever since you and his son become a couple. never touched you, never said anything. just hungry tired eyes staring you up and down whenever you two visited. and maybe, just maybe you enjoyed that and teased him and all, leaving your panties there few times and acting so so surprised when you’d never get them back. or acting like the sweetest little girl ever around him which oh, that was his weak spot.

and honestly, you don’t know how toji’s cock found its way into your cute little mouth few minutes later after a short small talk at 2 am in the morning, kneeling down like the good girl he knew you were, sucking his big fat cock as he rested back against the kitchen counter, his poor dick finally getting some attention, head lolling back few times as oh, you had such a little mouth that he was afraid to even fuck it but god, you knew how to work it so goddamn well.

he stared down at you with those soft hungry eyes of his, always seeming like he hasn’t slept in days, hair quite messy from probably rolling around in bed, sweatpants pooling at his ankles, tank top slightly rolled up as you sucked, bobbing your head and keeping eye contact with the older.

you whined a little bit, slurping at his cock as you used your hands as well, nodding your head after he shushed you, knowing that in the room next to the kitchen was your boyfriend soundly asleep.

he soon pulled you away and lifted you up on the counter no problem, not even realizing how light you were but god, it did something to him definitely. along with your soft hips and tummy, tits resting prettily under your shirt, nipples hard and prominent through the fabric. such a pretty little thing.

you immediately pulled your legs apart, he didn’t even have to say nothing, making him almost wanna chuckle, how dirty a sweet face like yours could be. he hooked two of his fingers under your underwear and pulled it aside, revealing your puffy wet clit, which was so hard not to notice and not to play with, the older rubbing at the little nub with his thumb as you sighed shakily which cause the male to use his other hand to shut you up.

“be a good girl and don’t wake your boyfriend up, yeah?” he rasped out to you in a low voice and you nodded your head, wanting to listen to him and be a good little girl, staying dead silent even though you were shaking, toji’s fingers all sticky and wet with your juices after stuffing that tight cunnie of yours with two of ‘em.

and oh, you couldn’t wait any longer, you just really really needed it, that tight coil in your lower tummy so so annoying, staring at the male the whole time as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your entrance, knowing he was after a vasectomy so there was nothing to worry about.

you inched your hips slowly closer to him, practically melting and falling apart on his cock once he began to fuck you, leaving you practically stunned and dumb founded, starry fucked out eyes watching the older male as he rolled his hips into your wet slimy mess of a cunt.

“that’s a good girl, shit..” he whispered out, abs flexing whenever he pulled out almost all the way and could feel how tight you were around him.

your mouth was still covered which you were glad for, shaky little pants leaving you still, your boyfriend’s father basically destroying you on his dick, making you forget everything and anything you’ve ever known except for pleasure.

he knew you’ve been innocently teasing him, testing the waters, how much he could handle and withstand and oh, he wanted you to learn a lesson not to do that or this would happen.

his other hand caressed your body, resting on your to your thigh and eventually going back to stroking your clit, so so puffy and red like the rest of your messy cunt as he fucked you nice and deep.

maybe even few more times, bending you over against the counter, practically lifting you off the ground whenever he’d hold your hips, watching how hard it’d be for you to keep your mouth shut.

maybe, just maybe, even fucking you for the third time, letting you hug him and hold onto him like a tick as he’d rut his hips into your soapy cunt already filled with two of his loads and you yourself having came a bunch already.

and then letting you waddle back to your boyfriend’s arms, legs all wobbly and cunt full of his seed, all messy and trembly after fucking you nice and good to warn you what happens when you tease him for too long before going out for a quick cig.

not like it was of any help because this was definitely worth the teasing in your opinion.

[dinozarr]

brainrot of simply pussywhipped!gojo me thinks..

† part two.

𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃!𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 . . . who wants nothing more than to eat you out religiously. he doesn’t do it simply just to pleasure you, but also because he’s just that obsessed with your throbbing sex. he loves the way your kneading thighs wrap around his head so desperately. how every time you try to pull away and lift yourself from his vigorous tongue, he just pulls you right back down to lick every last droplet of juice that spread across your folds.

⠀⠀⠀⠀he will gladly lie down for hours on end, having you hit numerous orgasms with tears practically embedded into your cheeks. even when you’re doing calming activities such as reading a book in bed, or watching your favorite show; gojo is right there between your legs just slurping up all the juices you leak out. it’s obviously consensual because the man will not lay a hand on you until he hears a bold lettered “yes” come from your mouth.

⠀⠀⠀⠀every time you two do missionary his hands are always placed on your waist with his hips curling ever so diligently that has your eyes rolling so far back that you swear you can see the light. your back arches off the bed with ease, satoru’s opposite hand sliding it’s way to your lower back while he hovers over you and watches how you take every inch of him so well. it was like the universe hand crafted you solely for him and his dick alone.

⠀⠀⠀⠀the way he slides in and out of you with ease, each vein that trails down his sides caressing your walls so deliciously. how his throbbing tip pokes your cervix every few moments, causing that spine chilling knot to form in the depths of your stomach. it doesn’t help when he firmly presses a hand down on your lower abdomen to feel himself inside of you, your hands instantly going to grasping at his wrist with a slight chuckle tumbling from his lips. he watches as you whine and cry from the pressure, his bottom lip tugging between his silver lined teeth.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ “atta girl.” he murmurs softly prior to leaning down and catching your lips with his own, his hips picking up the pace just so he can feel your hands press against his chest with your mouth falling open ajar.

NOTEZ : erm !!! hope you guys liked this lil shit cause i have nothing else to post atm and i don’t like how my writing is turning out for the noritoshi drabble so i’m gonna fix it in the morning. anyways ENJOY🫶‼️

ᶻ z Z ! © TAKST4Z — all rights reserved. mature discretion. please do not plagiarize or steal any of my works or graphics.

[lighteyed]

driving miss mayfield

steve harrington x fem mayfield!reader

[5.8k] steve gives you driving lessons, max gives you heat, you give yourself no time to daydream.

disclaimer- no mention of blood relation to max, no physical descriptors of reader, they are sisters in any way you want them to be.

     “What do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” The disbelief in his words is almost as emphatic as the annoyance in yours, but he seems to be more disbelieving than you are annoyed at him, who could ever really be annoyed at him, so you let Steve gape at you and blink rapidly instead of telling him to mind his business.

   You slurp down the rest of your soda from the general store in his passenger seat, shrugging, fighting to push down that urge to snap. Mayfield girls, you, Max, your mother when she wasn’t bogged down by a soul-sucking man-leech draining her lifeforce from her right before your eyes, had a less than lovely temper most of the time, and you tried very  hard to keep it contained, especially around people who didn’t deserve it. It just felt like a ridiculous question. “I mean, why do you think I’m stuck drivin’ with Billy half the time? You think I get in that car willingly? You think Max gets in that car willingly?”  You shake your head. “No way. If I had a license I would’ve been, like, halfway back to California the second you people started dragging me and Max into your science fiction monster crap.”

    “As if she woulda let you,” Steve scoffs with a similar head shake, a lock of his hair falling nicely into place in the middle of his forehead. He swipes at it quickly. He has this ridiculous urge to never be anything less than perfect in front of you, you, who is perfect without effort, leading him to put even more effort into holding up this front for himself. “Besides, you’d miss this pretty face, right?” He points to himself, smiles, and waits for you to laugh. You do. It makes his heart constrict.

   “Think you’d miss my pretty face, actually,” you snort, shoving your now empty shake in the cupholder.

    “Yeah, I would,” he teases, just a little, just enough to make further attempts at breaking all that ice you’ve got protecting you, and he swears, he sees it crack the slightest amount, even though you don’t answer. You smile and stare down at your hands in your lap, twisting a mood ring around your finger and making sure you don’t look at him. He’ll take what he can get. “Well, anyhow,” he says, dramatically blowing air out of his mouth, the subject change swift and, in his opinion, a flawless execution, “I can’t in good conscience let you keep driving with him.”

    “You already drive me and Max and all her friends everywhere, you don’t have to do anything else.” You don’t like being indebted to anyone. Even if it’s Steve, who insists on picking you up for school in the mornings and dropping you off in the afternoons and, if he’s free, taking you anywhere else you need to go. And he usually is free, because you, and the group of middle schoolers (almost high schoolers, to be fair) he’s adopted since he protected them from Billy and the Demodogs and the whole Mind Flayer debacle (you’re still fuzzy on the details, honestly) a few months ago,  are his only friends nowadays, so it’s not like his schedule is packed and there’s no room to fit you in there. There’s more than enough room. If there wasn’t, he’d make it so. You both knew that.

    “I love driving you,” he insists. “But the thing is, my dad’s cutting me off.”

    “He’s what?”

    “Like, you know, he’s gonna stop paying for my shit. I’m not goin’ to college and he thinks I’m a useless sack of nothing-“

   “You are not a useless sack of nothing-“

   “You tell that to him-“

   “Take me there right now and I will-“

    “Alright, alright, easy.” As much as he’d love to see you go toe to toe with his dad, and you’d be able to, he’s sure, he doesn’t want to talk about it any further than the basic facts of the situation. He’s not going to college therefore his dad has no reason to pay for anything he does anymore. His car insurance is his responsibility now, anything else he needs is up to him to to get, food, clothes, gas, if he has to go to the hospital he’s sure his dad would shove the medical bills onto him, too. He was like that, unfortunately for Steve. But it was one thing he could relate to you on. You had him slightly beat, though. You had two dads to complain about, both terrible in their own ways. Sam Mayfield: emotionally distant, didn’t bother to call, didn’t ask you to visit, too busy when you lived with him to spend any time with you anyway. And then, of course, there was Neil Hargrove: controlling, abusive, cold Neil Hargrove. How he’d charmed your mother into marrying him was a mystery to you and to Max, but you supposed, for as much as you loved her on principle because she was your mother and you pitied her and looked up to her all the same, she was easily charmed by men. It killed you a little more every time it happened, but this was the first time she’d actually brought him into your family, integrating them together in a way she thought would be seamless, but you and Max despised your stepbrother and he despised you both right back. “Point is, I’m gonna have to get a job, probably at that new mall they’re opening up-“

   “Oh the horror-“ you feign a hand over your forehead and slump back in your seat- “Rich pretty boy Steve Harrington doing labor, at the fancy new mall, with those soft delicate hands of yours, whatever will you do-“

   “Shut it,”  he warns, but there’s a grin on his face anyway. “You just admitted I’m pretty, by the way.” He continues before you can dispute his claims. “I’m not gonna be around as much. So you need your license. Unless you wanna be stuck with Billy yelling in your ear all day long.” He pauses, thinking. “Which might make me kill him. So, actually, unless you want me to murder him in cold blood-”

   “Please? I’m begging at this point,” you joke back.

   “Let me get a word in would you?” He laughs and it sounds like music to you. You keep it to yourself. “I want you to be okay on your own. I don’t want him, y’know, hurting you guys, okay? So you need your license.” His words and his eyes go lovely and soft, all rounded ages, nothing jagged about them, just pure, undulated care and affection.

    It makes you soften, too. You spend a lot of time looking after Max, it hits you hard when someone takes the time to look after you, too. “I don’t know, Steve, I wouldn’t be getting a car right after or anything, my job doesn’t pay enough, and we can just take the bus or something. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

   ‘I’m teaching you to drive, and you can take my car wherever you need to go. I’ll come pick you up, we’ll go on over to wherever I’m working, drop me off, and then you go wherever you need to go and come back in time to pick me up.” He says it so easily, as if it’s the most obvious answer to your problems in the world. He doesn’t even fathom how much it means to you.

   “You’d let me drive this?” You brace both your hands on the dashboard, your turn to stare at him in incredulity. His car is nice. It’s beautiful, really, and you don’t know much about cars. It’s classic and shiny and new. And expensive. Expensive being the operative word. Billy’s car is nice, too, and it’s about the only thing he takes care of other than his physique, which he thinks about obsessively, but you don’t think it’s anywhere as nice as Steve’s. Not in your opinion, anyway. The fact that Steve is nicer in personality (and looks, quite frankly) might make you biased, though. “I can’t afford to replace anything if I scratch it or crash it or if it explodes.”

   “You won’t scratch, crash, or explode it, you’re gonna be learning from the best.”

   “And who would that be?”

   “Me, obviously. Welcome to your first driving lesson, I’ll be your instructor, Mr. Harrington, thank you for joining us Miss Mayfield.” He tips an imaginary hat toward you. You’re not sure what driving instructors wear hats but you let him have his fantasy anyway.

   “Right now?” You can barely process what’s happening before he’s popping open his door, lanky legs sliding right out. He raps the hood of the car with his knuckles, ducking his head inside to look at you.

   “Yes, right now, Mayfield, no time like the present.” He comes around to the side you’re on and opens door for you, ushering you out. He holds your hand to help you out of the car, entirely unnecessary but a smooth move nonetheless, and your hands fit together in a way that makes him want to keep them clasped like that forever. He ushers you into the driver’s seat with a quickness that almost gives you whiplash.

    Your hands prop up on the wheel, uneasy. Your palms start to sweat. “I don’t like this,” you tell him. You take your hands off and wipe them on your jeans. They immediately dampen again. You’re afraid of leaving sweat prints all over his wheel and leaving a car-shaped hole in the side of the now abandoned Benny’s Burgers, the parking lot almost empty, save for the car that you are now responsible for. It’s eight o’clock on a school and work night, so naturally no one else was around and Hawkins may as well have been asleep.

   “You haven’t even attempted to drive yet.”

   “My hands keep slipping off the wheel,” you grasp for his hand and press yours against it, raising your eyebrows. “Do you feel the sweat?”

   “Jesus, yeah.” He squeezes your hand with encouragement anyway. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m a much nicer driving teacher than anyone you could hire at the school. You’re in good hands. Great hands. The best ones. Perfect, amazing hands.”

    Your eyes flick down to Steve’s hands. You have to agree. “I don’t even have a permit. You could get in trouble.”

    “By who? Chief Hopper? Officer Callahan?” He nearly cackles at the notion. “You’ll be fine, don’t sweat it.”

    “Bad choice of words.”

    “Enough stalling, let’s get to the lesson.” He claps his hands together. His face retains a serious, focused quality to it. It’s very handsome (he’s always handsome and it kills you a little because you don’t have time to daydream). “Alright, hands here, and here,” he taps the wheel to show you the correct position. He thinks he might die if you connect your hands again. “That’s called the 10 and 2 position.”

    “Why’s it called that?”

    “I don’t know, it just is, doesn’t matter, that’s where they go so you have the best control for making turns and steering.” You do as he says. “Okay, so now, you have to relax.”

    “Girls love hearing that, Steve,” you grind your teeth.

    But your rigidity and discomfort is obvious, especially to you, and you know it can’t be natural to drive all scrunched up and tense like this. “You’ll be fine. You can’t be all stiff if you ever want to get comfortable doing this.”

    “But I’m not comfortable.”

    “Hence why we’re doing this, yeah?’

   “I thought we were doing this so me and Billy don’t strangle each other.”

    “That too. Can’t have my only friend dead. Then I’ll be stuck with all the kids by myself.”

   “Can’t leave Max alone, either,” you say, more to yourself than to him. You think about her most of all. While you spend all this time with Steve, you worry over her all the time. You constantly check in to make sure she doesn’t feel left out. You fret about her being left alone with Billy. She occupies almost all of your thoughts.

   “Never,” he agrees, even if you weren’t talking to him. You give him a thankful smile. His heart almost stops but he clears his throat to snap himself out of it. “Okay, now, let’s turn the key, turn the car back on.”

  “Turning the key,” you nod, licking your lips. You turn the key in the ignition until the engine rumbles to life. The car vibrates in response. You hate it.

   “Clutch pedal down with your left foot,” he says, pointing. You do as he says. “Move this,” he pats the gear stick, “into first gear, right here, left then up.” He watches you carefully, nodding back. “Good, okay, press down on the acceleration with your right foot now, gently,” he adds. He can tell by the furrow in your brow that you hate it. “You’re doing good,” he praises.

  “Yeah, yeah, continue.”

  “Now you gotta lift the clutch until you feel it vibrating, okay, then release the handbrake, keep slowly moving off the clutch until you’re moving with just the acceleration, okay?” He finds the deeply serious expression you’re wearing kind of endearing. “If it stalls we’re gonna start again, but don’t worry about it.”

But you don’t stall. The car moves as it should, with you controlling it, in the empty parking lot by the neighborhood park. “Great, great, almost perfect” he tells you, “we can probably go faster if you wanna try that-“

  “No, we cannot,” you say tightly, your shoulders hunched.

  The laugh he lets out makes your spine tingle. “You have to relax your face, I promise you’ll drive better if you’re not all… scrunched up,” he motions to your shoulder area.

  You try. You roll them back as you keep focusing on the road, trying not to furrow your brows so much. You’ll get a permanent forehead wrinkle at this rate.

   “See, there we go,” Steve reassures. Your let out a little huff, but your face goes placid, still. “Beautiful.” He’s not sure if he means to say it. If he should. He says it anyway.

  You look sideways at him as you drive through the parking lot. You’re driving slow. Slower than slow. You’re practically inching along. “You can’t possibly be flirting with me right now.” It’s not that you don’t like it. You do. It hurts how much you do. If he wasn’t freshly single and you didn’t feel so obligated to focus most of your time on taking care of Max, you’d flirt back. You weren’t new to it or anything. You knew your way around a guy. Even a gorgeous one like Steve. But he was only a few months over Nancy and you saw the grimaces he did when she and Jonathan crossed his path. You weren’t sure if he was over her. Or if Max was comfortable and secure enough here to be a little more independent.

  “I am not,” he scoffs. The blush creeping up his neck onto his cheeks betrays him. You shift your eyes to look at him again but he points, “eyes on the road, by the way.”

  “You were flirting, you just can’t help yourself, can you? King Steve, right?” You snicker, recalling the nickname from when you’d first met him, the one that had been rescinded just as fast. It’s easy to hide the fact that you liked the way he said beautiful, like a caress, like a kiss, behind your banter and snark. Maybe it’s one thing you and Billy could have in common. Everything’s easier when you hide it behind an attitude.

  “I wouldn’t say that stating a fact is… flirting,” he shrugs, flippant. At least, he hopes it appears flippant. You don’t give yourself much time to ponder this.

  “It is when you say it in that voice,” you retort.

  “Huh? What voice?” He balks at that. He does not put on a voice.

  “Like, low and sultry,” you flick some hair away from your eyes. It had been the way he said it, after all.  

     “You think my voice is low and sultry?” His ears practically perk up like a puppy’s. You don’t answer. It’s actually all the answer he needs. “I think you’re the one flirting with me now, Mayfield, not the other way around.”

  You scoff. You are scoffing and he is laughing away. “In your dreams, Harrington.”

  “Every night.” The joke registers with that one but it still makes your stomach clench. Every butterfly in the western hemisphere makes its way into your gut and builds a home there, an uncontrollable influx of new neighbors, fluttering madly, demanding to be seen and known and understood. You understood them, you just didn’t want to. “See, now that, that was flirting,” he says, satisfied at your quiet. “And you sound like your stepbrother when you say my last name like that, by the way. Excellent Billy impression.”

   You’re doing slow, lazy laps around the parking lot at this point, your nerves still present but for entirely different reasons now. “I do not sound like Billy.” You grimace. “And you probably shouldn’t be flirting with anyone when you just got out of a relationship, like, not even four months ago. I don’t think you’re ready to be flirting again.” You, again, are saying it more to yourself than to him. A subtle reminder of the predicament you’re in.  

  “Hence why I’m not flirting,” he informs you.

  “Uh huh,” you say, unconvinced.

 “But if I was-“

“Which you’re not-“

“Which I am not,” he agrees, “how would you feel? Just for, y’know, future reference.” He juts his lip out, wondering.

  “Let’s circle back to that when you’re not still reeling from the Nancy incident.”  

  “Well,” he shifts around in his seat. He wouldn’t say he’s still reeling. Still hurt, sure. But hurt sticks around longer than heartbreak does. You can be hurt by something someone did and not still be heartbroken over them. He wouldn’t say he’s still heart broken. Looking at you, his heart feels very much intact. Nothing broken here, no, definitely not. “That’s why it’s for a hypothetical future reference.”

  “Right, of course,” you slow the car to a stop. “Then I wouldn’t be opposed. Hypothetically.”

  “You wouldn’t?”  

  “I wouldn’t.” But, you remember, suddenly, that it’s not just you that you look out for. “Once Max is all settled, of course.”

   “Settled?”

   “Like, y’know, feeling better about being here.”

    “She’s got a massive group of friends she sees all the time.”

   “I know, but-“

   “You worry about her, I get it,” he places a hand on your knee, very light, not asking for anything. “Who worries about you? You should- you should be happy, too, is that crazy to say?”

   You place your hand over his.  “I’m happy. I’m happy, I promise. I don’t need you to worry about me, I’m okay.”

   “You should do more things for yourself.”

   “Like getting my license,” you gesture to the car.

   “Like getting your license, yeah.” Like going on a date with me. Like letting me show you how serious I am about you.

   “I’m okay how I am.”

   “I’m making it my job to look out for you, y’know.”

   You smile again. Very soft, almost embarrassed. You hated the attention being on you but you had to get used to it, being around him. “Yeah, Steve, I know.”

   He’s diligent in his effort to give you driving lessons. He takes you driving almost every day after school, Max in the backseat if she’s not with her friends, both of them encouraging and kind even when you hit the curb more often than not. You were a good driver, for all intents and purposes, even though your palms still sweat every time you got behind the wheel. It was a gradual comfort process. They were less sweaty than the first time, and that had to count for something. You even get comfortable enough to drive through Main Street, which nearly sends you into a panic and leads to a shouting match between the two of you while you furiously honk your horn at the other people of Hawkins on the road, Steve slumped in his seat to avoid eye contact with everyone, but after that, you’re a pro.

    A few weeks of this pass when he says to you, out of the blue as you drive aimlessly, “So, I set up your road test for you.”

   You’re still not used to this whole looking out for you thing he’s got going on. You almost stop the car short. “Did you really?”

    “I think you’re ready. You’re great, you’ll pass easily.”

    “You think?” You’re typically confident, strong-willed, but sometimes he sees those flickers of insecurity crop up and he attempts to smother that right then and there.

   “For sure,” he nods. “They’ll be begging you to be on the road.”

   “You flatter me.”

   “You deserve it.” His eyes, his smile, trained on you, always, is devastating. Maybe you do. Maybe you do.

    At your dinner table that night, you, Max, your mom, Neil, and Billy, Max does what she should never do in front of Neil or Billy, and that’s open her mouth.

   Billy had been going on about how he was sick of being the chauffeur, even though he really wasn’t anymore, and that if he was going to get a job this summer before college like Neil wanted you two would have to learn to get around on your own, because he can’t be responsible for two people if he also had to be responsible for a job.

   “She’s getting her driver’s license tomorrow,” she jerks her head toward you, a proud, beautiful smile on her face, and you want to drag her by the hair into your shared bedroom to ask why in the world she’d ever tell that to everyone and also give her the biggest hug for the evident pride she takes in the fact that you’re independent and doing things on your own and she looks up to you so, so much. You bite your lip as Neil’s fork scrapes noisily across his plate. “And Steve’s been driving us around anyway, so I don’t know what you’re going on about-“

   You interrupt her with a hard, socked foot coming down on her own. Your eyes go wide and your head tilts in her direction,  a please oh please stop talking expression.

    “Who has been driving you, exactly?” Neil asks, eyebrows raised.

   “My friend from school, it’s no big deal,” you answer, staring down at your plate and then back up at him. His cold gaze is fixated on you.

   “What happened to the agreement we had?” Neil turned his sneer to Billy, rendered speechless by Max’s unexpectedly bold statement. Billy then glares at you, and you really don’t want an argument, so you cut in.

  “It’s only sometimes, like once a week, and he doesn’t drive us to school, he drives us home. Rarely. Rare occasions. I promise.” A lie, flowing easily from your lips, and because Neil thinks you’re a smart, good girl, and his son is always up to no good and lying, he relaxes, and so does Billy, though you’ll get no thanks from him, not now, not ever.

  “Well, who’s been teaching you to drive where you feel ready to take your test?” Neil stretches across the table to get another helping of the meal your mother prepared from the middle of the table.

   “Steve, when we’re both free.” Every day.

   And because Billy can’t let you have anything, because he needs to instantly make you regret ever doing anything nice for him, he says, “I’m not a big fan of this Steve guy.”

   “Hm, and why’s that?” Neil continues eating.

   “It’s a petty high school rivalry,” you interrupt, narrowing your eyes at him.

   “He’s got a reputation with girls, you know. I wouldn’t want to see something bad happen to you.” Billy’s stupid grin eats shit. The feigned care makes your skin crawl.

   “What sort of reputation is that? You shouldn’t be hanging out with that sort of person,” Neil frowns. Again, with that feigned care. It’s not about genuine worry for you. It’s about control. Dominance. You won’t fall for it.

  “It’s all rumors. He had a serious girlfriend for a year. And we’re not together, anyway. He’s my friend.”

   “Guys all want the same thing,” Billy says back.

  “How would you know?” You push, nearly slamming your hands on the table.

   “I’m friends with the basketball team, there’s locker room talk, you get the picture.” He continues smiling in that mocking way of his that makes you want to jump across the dining room and put your fork through his eye.

   “You don’t actually know anything, though, do you, considering you’re not friends with him?”

   “I think I know enough to know that this isn’t the type of person my sister should be associating with-“

   That gets you going most of all, which is giving him exactly what he wants, and you can’t help it. “We are not siblings-“ your chair drags across the floor with a loud screech as you remove yourself from the table, just as Neil is telling you both to settle down.

  “C’mon, honey, sit back down, you can hang out with whoever you want, I’m sure this boy is very nice,” Susan coaxes you gently but you don’t even look at her, too caught up with the fact that it’s all her fault you’re here in this place with these people, these strangers, that you hate so deeply it makes your bones ache.

  “’M done eating, going to my room,” and you don’t care how annoyed it makes Neil that you’ve gotten up before he’s finished eating, which has become practice in this house now, you can’t even celebrate the fact that you’re achieving a milestone, getting your license, God damn it, without it turning into the Billy Hargrove one man show. He makes everything, everything, hurt.

   Max comes in a little while later, her footsteps light and hesitant on the floor. She crawls into your bed even though hers is across the room and she hasn’t slept beside you since your first night here.

   “Are you mad at me?” She asks. Her eyes are big and blue, worried.

   “’Course not.” You smooth her hair back. You’re not mad at her, truly. It’s not her fault Billy ruins everything. “I know you were just trying to get back at him for his complaining. S’not your fault, lovie.”

   “I should’ve known it would turn into that,” she frowns, uneasy. “It always turns into that.”

   “You don’t have to know anything. You should be allowed to say whatever you want to our parents, that’s what they’re there for. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.” You boop her nose with the tip of your finger. You’ve been sulking in your room because of him, not her.

  “Can I ask you something?” You’re face to face with each other, both your heads lying on your pile of pillows, hair fanned out behind you. Her expression is earnest and endearing.

  “Always.”

 “I thought you and Steve were dating already.”

 You hesitate. “That’s not a question.”

  “Okay,” she rolls her eyes. There’s no malice behind it. “Why aren’t you dating?”

  You crinkle your nose, dismissive. “Because, I’m- I’m, like, busy, with stuff, and he’s not over Mike’s sister and I just, I don’t wanna get mixed up with some silly boy.”

   She admires your dismissive attitude toward boys, and it might be why she breaks up with Lucas every other week in exasperation with his boyish faults. She just thinks it’s crazy that you have this attitude when a guy like Steve is the one following you around with shiny looks and dreamy smiles. She’s sure that you’d never deny Steve, who, when she observed you both from the backseat, did everything in his power to make you feel comfortable, safe, secure, was kind to her while also maintaining a brotherly banter, something she thought she was getting when Billy had been introduced to her, was funny, and generous. He was always letting you drive his car and buying you both food and making sure you had a ride somewhere if you needed it. And she drove her and her friends around everywhere even if you weren’t there, too. Steve seemed perfect.

   He was easy on the eyes, too, but it brought a hot flush to Max’s cheeks to admit that, so she never would. 

   “He’s not a silly boy, he’s Steve.”

   “A boy is just a boy no matter who he is, you know that.”

   “Yeah, but,” she huffs, indignant, “he really likes you. I bet he’d go out with you if you asked.”

   “I’m not asking him out, and he doesn’t like me like that. He’s a good friend. And I told you, I’m too busy for him.”

   “Busy with what?” She cries, exasperated. “Busy driving with Steve, busy doing homework with Steve, busy getting dinner with Steve, busy-“

   She’s running out of fingers to write her list on. You grab her hand to stop the count. “I get your point.”

   “You can’t be too busy for someone if you already spend so much time with them, is all I’m saying.” She has a point. You scratch your arm absentmindedly. “What’s the real reason?”

   “What real reason? You’re saying that’s not the real reason?”

  “Definitely not the real reason.”

   “Says who?”

   “Says your best friend.”

   You sigh at her, a loving sound. “Oh, yeah, her.” You run a hand through her hair again. The softness of it soothes you. “I don’t wanna leave you alone.”

    She pokes your cheek. “I’m not alone. I have my friends.”

   “Didn’t you hear that we’re best friends? I can’t leave you in the dust.” It’s more playful than you really feel. You don’t want to burden her by unburdening yourself, relaying all your fears about what would happen if you spent more time with Steve, things like her resenting you, something awful happening between her and Billy, her getting hurt, injured, killed, your brain delved into all sorts of dark, terrible places, and these spiraling thoughts led to one conclusion: you would never, ever, let your focus waver from her. “I take care of you, okay? I don’t have the time to think about anything else. Besides, he might not even be over Nance, remember?”

   “He is. He is over her. I promise,” she insists, placing her hands on your arms. “He looks at you like he’s in love, I’ve seen it!”

   “You don’t know what you’re seeing, babe-“

  “I do.” She shoves herself off your bed, your hand, where it was twined in her hair, falling back onto the covers. You sit up, confused, as she stomps off to her own bed.

  “Are you mad at me right now?” You ask.

   “I’d be happy if you were happy.”

    “Max, stop, I am happy-“

   “Not happy enough. He’s nice. You should just go out with him. Stupid to worry about me all the time.” She flicks off her lamp light and turns away from you toward her wall. You sigh. You think. Your stomach twists itself in a knot you don’t want to think about. Eventually, when her stubbornness about it overrides yours, you turn back toward your own wall and turn out your own light. Your eyes strain from trying not to cry, so eventually, you cave in to that, too.

   Your hands shake at your road test the next day. For a multitude of reasons. You look at Steve differently, with your head tilted toward him like the head of a flower tilts toward the sun, waiting and wanting. You’re running over all the ways it could go wrong. You resign yourself to never doing a thing about it.

    He notices your quiet, so unlike yourself, and attributes it to your nerves about the test. He rubs your shoulders, an attempt to hype you up. “You got this, okay? You’re gonna kill it. You’re gonna be the second best driver in Hawkins.”

   “Lemme guess, you’re the first?” It’s the first smile you’ve cracked all day and he takes it as the victory it is.

   “Well it’s certainly not Billy,” he rolls his eyes. “Seriously, how you feelin’?” He spins you around and the gaze he bores into you is too intense to bear. You look away fervently.

   “Fine, ‘m fine, nervous, but fine, should be good, my driving instructor was excellent.” He beams with pride at that, a blinding flash.

   “World renowned, I heard,” he brags.

   “Let’s see if I pass first.”

   “You will,” he says. Confident, assured. It makes you feel assured in turn.  

   And you do. You pass. By a hair, truth be told, but you pass. It thrills you, clutching the paper declaring your triumph in your fist, walking outside to greet Steve who leans against the hood of his car in his devastating way of his, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he taps his foot in wait. When he sees you come out, he brightens, straightening himself out.

   “What’s the verdict?” He asks.

   You wave the paper around. “I passed!” You can’t fake it for a second, your joy at this little bit of freedom absolutely inescapable. He lets out a loud, thrilled whoop for you, and his joy brings you even more of it. He picks you up off the ground and spins you in a circle, and when you’re back on the sidewalk, steady, he envelopes you in a deep, encompassing hug.

  When he hugs, his whole body goes into it, if that makes any sense. He throws his all into it. There’s no hesitancy, no timidity, he’s not ashamed of it in the slightest. He hugs you, hard. He’s that proud. And he likes holding you. You pull away first and he’s not surprised.

  “Proud of you,” he squeezes you arm again.

   “Couldn’t have done it without, Steve, really. You- you’re the best, y’know that?”

   He decides to push his luck. “Good enough to go on a date with?” He can see already that you’ll say no. That you want to say yes but you’re going to say no. He doesn’t care. He’ll wait until you’re sick of him.

  “You don’t wanna go out with me,” you squeeze his arm back.

  “You’re real silly, you know that?” His voice is warm and awfully fond.

  You can’t bring yourself to let him all the way in just yet. You walk with him back to the car and agree with him. Yes, you’re real silly, indeed.

[webslingingslasher]

Oh I just thought about something, (it’s always frat!Peter related when is it not?) what does frat!peter do when trouble faints for some reason in front of him, I feel like situationship or bf he would totallyyy panic right? I can just imagine him standing wide eyed like 😳

i feel like u also sent this..... u ain't slick!

'yesterday me and my friends were hanging out outside and i forgot to eat and drink all day and i passed out in the middle of the sesh 😭 can i get a frat!peter scenario??'

i mean, he does have spidey senses so maybe he feels a little off but can't place it. he'll sit next to you in case shit goes down and he needs to cover your body or get you out of there safely. peter's gone quiet, he's still included in the conversation but the better part of him is trying to place that icky feeling.

it's dialed to nine hundred when you loop your arm around his elbow, he looks right over at you, he thinks you're the reason his senses are going haywire.

'you okay, trouble?'

your blink quick, black dots are everywhere. your tongue feels thick, it's work to push the words out. they slur, 'i think i'm gonna.... pass..' your head smacks into his shoulder, you're limp against him. your hand drops, peter pulls you tight so you don't fall backwards.

'oh shit,' he's not sure what to do, his heart rate picks up. peter's a smart guy but when the person he cares for most passes out he feels frozen. does he call for help, slap you awake, pour water on your head?

you answer for him, slowly raising your head with a groan. it was ten seconds but it felt like a lifetime to him.

you smack your lips, you can't remember the last time you had water, it sounded heavenly. your vison is blurry, you went from seeing black to looking around disorented.

'what happened?' your hands slap around the table, you can't find your water bottle. you can't remember if you grabbed it this morning. your throat feels like sandpaper when you swallow spit, peter can't stop looking at your sluggish movements. his brain hasn't caught up.

'water,' that's all it takes for peter to wrap your arm back around his, making a point for you to squeeze him for dear life. he's handing over his personal bottle, heart rate settling when you choke it down.

you're not shy, you gulp every drop through the plastic straw. when nothings left but empty slurping sounds you set the metal down, gasping for air.

'wow, that's good.'

'are you okay?' peter can't think of what else to say.

'yeah, i don't think i had any water today. or food, do you have anything?' peter's busy rooting thorugh his backpack, he has to have something, even if it's a granola bar. 'i feel snacky, you know what i could go for? one of those sandwiches with white bread, the kind that sticks to the roof of your mouth?'

peter breathes out rushed, 'yeah, it's all gummy too.' his shoulders relax when he finds a crushed pack of oreos, at least it's something. he slides it to you, 'eat these and i'll take you home and make you a sandwich.'

you shrug, sounds like a good deal to you.

peter moves to wrap his arm around you, tucking you under his shoulder. he gives several kisses to your temple.

'thank god you're okay.'

you almost teased him, but his relief makes you feel warm. you accept his doting.

'i'd be better with a sticky sandwich.'

peter wipes crumbs from your mouth, 'lets go. you're piggybacking.'

[justwinginglife]

Going For The Gold

It's so cliche, I'm sorry lmao, Rin got me feeling all bubbly and happy and shit.

Rin was about to murder a man and ruin a proposal all in one go.

He’d been pleasantly slurping on his drink, enjoying Iwatobi High’s Culture Fest, when he spotted one eager Momotaro Mikoshiba getting down on one knee in front of his sister, holding up a plastic ring he’d won from a game, with the words “Will you marry me” sitting pretty on his lips. Right then and there, Rin thought to himself it didn’t matter how good Momo’s backstroke was if his back was suddenly, for unforeseen reasons, broken in half. But right as he was about to confront the boy who’d dared propose to his sister, in front of a gaping crowd, with a shitty plastic ring no less, a woman parted the sea of onlookers with nothing but her authoritative aura, dragging Momo away by the ear to a more secluded hallway. 

Gou followed behind her and Rin followed behind Gou, curious as to this mysterious woman���s next move.

When Momo had been properly subjugated, his knees burying themselves into the floor, bashfulness staining his face, hands fidgeting in his lap as he awaited his punishment, you finally spoke. 

“MOMOTARO MIKOSHIBA.” You boomed, brows twitching in aggravation. “DID I OR DID I NOT TELL YOU TO LEAVE MY KOUHAI ALONE??” 

Momo’s shoulders sagged. “Y-yes m-ma’am. You did. You did tell me.”

You loomed over him, hands on your hips, “And so what the hell do you think you’re doing proposing to her now??”

He shrunk even further from her gaze. “I-I just w-won a ring in a game, a-and I thought it’d be s-sweet and she’d l-like it.”

You flicked him in the forehead and Rin almost laughed. The boy who was so vexingly persistent in his pursuit of Rin’s sister was now looking deprived of all determination in the face of this towering woman. Any previous anger Rin had been feeling had drained away, replaced with pure amusement. He watched the scene before him entertained, wondering how else she might lecture him. 

But your voice suddenly grew soft and you bent down to Momo’s eye level. “Hey. You’re still young, okay? Don’t rush things just because you want a girlfriend. If you decide that you do actually like Gou because she’s Gou and not just because she’s pretty and you’re lonely, then ask her -like a man- if she’d seriously consider you. Be respectful, be responsible, be better than whatever it is you’re doing right now. Earn her. Deserve her.” 

Rin’s eyes widened, shocked by your sudden sincerity and maturity. 

But then you flicked Momo in the forehead again, eyes narrowing. “And if you don’t, and if you decide to keep bothering her, I will end you. Got it?” 

Rin covered his mouth with his hand to suppress the smile that was tugging at the corner of his lips. You were having a serious conversation right now and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about how attractive you looked when you were trying to be threatening. It was beyond cute. 

But apparently the threat worked because then Momo gulped, nodding his head quickly in response. 

You jerked your thumb towards the crowd of people passing by. “Now scram.” 

When he picked his trembling body up from the ground and disappeared into the crowd, you sighed, turning to check on Gou. “You okay? Hope he didn’t bother you too much. He’s an idiot but I think he’s a good guy. Probably. Maybe.” 

Gou laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. You didn’t have to scare him like that, senpai.” 

You shrugged. “How else was I going to get the message across? This is, what, like the fifth time he’s snuck into our school to confess his love for you? I can’t just let you get harassed like this.”

Rin finally cleared his throat, announcing his presence to you. “Thank you, by the way. For that. For taking care of my sister.”

You blinked in surprise, unaware you had an audience. “Oh you’re Matsuoka. The famous older brother Gou’s told me so much about. Nice to finally meet you.” You stuck your hand out for him to shake.

He eyed it for a second and then decided to take it.

When your hands met, time stopped.

His hand was cold, having cradled an iced drink in his hand for the last half hour as he made his way through the festival booths, and your hand was warm, having bustled around here and there to help where help was needed, and when your skin made contact with his, you unintentionally rubbed your thumb across his hand in a subconscious attempt to warm him up; you couldn’t help it- you were protective and overly caring by nature and something about him made you want to take care of him (certainly didn’t hurt that he was built like a Greek God). And when his shoulders stiffened in shock, when his cheeks flooded with red, he couldn’t help it either- he’d started to fall for you. 

Gou, observant as ever, took note of every miniscule detail that had been laid out before her. She discerned the hitch in your breath, the spark of interest in his eyes, the handshake that was several seconds too long for an average handshake, and she came to the conclusion that you were both attracted to one another. And then she made it her personal mission to get you both to admit it. 

“Oh dearest brother of mine,” She called out singsongy.

Trance broken, you both awkwardly pulled away from each other. 

“Why are you talking like that, what do you want?” He grumbled, scratching the back of his neck as he found some tile on the floor to be interested in. 

“I really want you to come see my class’ booth- ah, but it’s a couples cafe. But I really want you to see it, we worked so hard on it, oh- I know! Senpai, will you go in with my big brother? Just so he can see the cafe?”

You blushed, also finding interest in the ground now. “Gou, don’t make things weird, we barely know each other. I’m sure he has someone else he’d rather go with.”

Gou was unamused. “No. He doesn’t. He's as single as single can be.” She said plainly.

Rin winced. “Don’t say it like that, Gou. You make me sound undesirable.”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, you don’t seem undesirable to me in the least.” You gave him a reassuring smile. 

His eyes dared to meet yours again. He shifted awkwardly. “Thanks. Thanks for that.”

Gou rolled her eyes at your obvious flirting. “The cafe? Anybody remember what we were originally talking about? I need you to come see,” Gou tugged on Rin’s sleeve. 

Rin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, alright, okay, I’ll come.” He looked over at you. “Will you? Come with me, I mean. Just to the cafe.”

You searched his eyes, trying to decode his words, but then you shrugged. Fuck it. “Sure, why not?” 

Gou’s eyes lit up. “Okay! Yay! But now you have to hold hands or wrap your arms around each other or something.” She said, thoughtfully examining the two of you.

Rin coughed, “Excuse me?” 

“It’s a couple’s cafe. You can’t go in if you don’t look like a couple. C’mon, man up, wrap your arm around her.” Gou waved for him to hurry up. 

He looked at you helplessly. 

You inched towards him until your hips touched. “It’s fine.” You tried not to react as he gently settled his arm around your shoulder. Once he’d gotten comfortable -as comfortable as he could be with a woman he just met, a woman he could very well fall in love with- you decided to test the waters and you wrapped your arm around his waist. He sucked in a breath but he didn’t protest. Sensing his unspoken approval, you decided to lean into the girlfriend role, snuggling up against him and coating yourself in his scent. A sigh escaped his lips and you’d never heard a more wonderful sound. 

“Perfect.” Gou held up her fingers as though she were snapping a photo of the two of you. “Now just stay like that for the rest of the day.”

“You mean until we’re done in the cafe right?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gou grins. “Yeah. Sure. Right.”

“Matsuoka, are you sure you’re o-”

Gou shook her head, pointing her finger at you. “No more of this Matsuoka. You’re dating, call him Rin.”

You shot her a warning look. “Gou, that’s too much.”

Rin cleared his throat. “You, uh, you can… you can call me Rin. It’s fine.”

You swallowed. “Right. Um. Okay. R-Rin.” You might’ve imagined it but you swore his arm tightened around your shoulder. “Well. I’m ready to go if you are… Rin.” 

He nodded. “Ready.”

“Great! Let’s go!” Gou began marching through the crowd, leading you towards her class.

“God, she’s walking fast.” You grumbled, trying to keep up.

Rin laughed and you felt it rumble against you as you clung to him. “Yeah she gets like that when she’s on a mission. You don’t have to keep pace with her though.”

“She’s on some mission, that’s for sure. Girl doesn’t have a subtle bone in her body, making us fake date like this. What does she think is going to happen?” You rolled your eyes in complaint, but he didn’t miss the way your fingers gripped his shirt tighter as though acknowledging this fake relationship of yours was a sure way to bring it crumbling down and you were hanging onto whatever fleeting moment of chemistry the two of you had. But he wasn’t ready to stop holding you either. And now there was no mistaking the way he pulled you even closer to him. 

“Careful. Crowd’s tight here.” He said, excusing his clingy behavior as nothing more than chivalry. 

You cracked a smile at that. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want to get lost. Might want to keep your arm around me.” 

“I might want to, yeah.” 

Finally, the two of you found yourselves in Gou’s class, huddled together on a loveseat, splitting dessert, while love songs played in the background. 

How the fuck did we get here, you thought to yourself.  You weren’t sure what you had been expecting- maybe that you’d both pop into the cafe for a moment, admire Gou’s hard work, maybe even have one drink, then leave and part ways and never see each other again (you were due to graduate soon and in no time at all, you’d be off to some boring, run of the mill college, while he took the swimming world by storm; you lived in two separate worlds and it became more evident the more people passing by stared at the odd couple that the two of you made). And now that you were sharing heart shaped confections beside other couples who were flirting and fawning over each other -as though it wasn’t already debilitating enough to have to hold onto him the whole way here with your heart thundering in your chest- you realized you’d never felt more out of place in entire your life. 

You picked at a heart shaped cookie for a bit before finally glancing over at him, wondering if he felt as bizarre as you did, wondering if he also felt like some circus attraction. 

He had been watching you. “Not a fan of cookies?”

“Just, you know. Making sure it’s not… poisoned or something.”

He burst into laughter, clutching his sides. “And what would it be poisoned with?”

You poked him in the side. “Hey, don’t laugh. There could be, like, a love drug or something.”

He smirked. “Would it work on you?”

“Who’s asking?”

He shrugged. “Curious third party.”

“Does this third party wanna test out my cookie for me, then? Tell me if this tastes like drugs.” You shoved the cookie into his mouth without warning.

He captured your wrist, holding your hand in place as he swallowed down the dessert before licking the crumbs off your fingers. “Well? Do I seem like I’m in love?”

You yanked your hand away, cheeks turning as red as the heart shaped decorations that were cluttering up the room. “I wouldn’t know what a man in love looks like. I’ve never even been on a date.”

Rin watched you thoughtfully. Then he remarked, “And if I asked you on a date, what would you say?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I’d say you were crazy, you barely know me.”

“So let me get to know you then. I dunno if you know this,” He grinned cheekily, “But there’s, like, a whole festival happening out there. We could grab some food, play some games, watch a play. And if you’re still interested by the end of it all, I’ll take you on a real date.”

His eyes were lit with such sincerity that you couldn’t help but give in, cracking a smile. “Maybe if you win me a prize, I’ll let you take me on that date. Maybe.”

You thought he’d laugh, maybe kid around with you. 

He simply tucked a hair behind your ear before he leaned in to whisper, “For you? I’d even win the Olympics.” 

“Sure that’s not just the drugs talking?” You joked, attempting -and failing- to remain unflustered. 

He pulled back, chuckling. “Could be the drugs. Why don’t you stick around, see if I’m still in love with you later, yeah?”

A smile tugged at the edge of your lips. “Sounds like a deal.”

Somehow, in the span of an hour, your entire life had been flipped upside down.

But you didn’t mind.

You had a feeling being with him would be like winning the Olympics.

And you intended to go for the gold. 

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Hey, is there any chance that we could get like, a human p.red with A.sgore or A.sriel p.rey with d.isposal?

Yeah, I can definitely do something like that! I can't get enough of those two, if that wasn't obvious.

A.sgore kneels down before the human, head down and eyes closed. He’s on his last legs now and he knows that there’s nothing else to do. The man before him has won. But maybe that’s for the best. This can be his repentance.

“Please, take me and leave the underground,” the king says. “I’ll give you my soul...as my apology for all that I’ve done.” That’s all he can do anymore. The human doesn’t say anything, but A.sgore stays like that regardless. His ears twitch slightly as he hears the man approaching. He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. Is...the human showing him mercy? “Human--” He looks up...and finds himself staring into the back of the human’s jaws.

A.sgore’s muzzle is engulfed, a muffled sound escaping him. He locks eyes with the human and sees hunger. A hand pushes down on the back of his head, and everything goes dark as the human gulps and drags his head down. He’s too weak to resist at all, and even with his bulky armor on, the human continues to swallow and start dragging in his bulky shoulder and chest.

Each swallow drags A.sgore down deeper and deeper, slowly pulling his hulking form down the hatch. His legs kick around a bit as they’re lifted off the ground, but the human’s hands grip onto them to help shovel A.sgore deeper. He’s already in up to his waist, then a gulp drags his ass down, and the human begins to slurp his legs up.

And all the while, the human’s stomach is bulging out more and more. It’s stretching tightly over A.sgore’s form, shoving off the bulges of his horns and the curvature of his royal armor. Muffled yells come from the human’s gut, the shape of A.sgore’s muzzle moving around as he tries to yell. But he’s just sinking in more, his legs being dragged down...until his twitching feet are finally slurped past the human’s lips and sent down the hatch.

A.sgore is panting as he’s crammed into the man’s gut. He’s forced into a tight and uncomfortable ball, upside down. The heat is immense as the human’s stomach gurgles and groans around him. After their battle, he’s already feeling incredibly weak. So the human’s stomach has no issue with him at all. A wet, rumbling gurgle rings in A.sgore’s ears as his body simply falls apart on him.

“BWWWWWWWOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPPPPPP!!!!” The human lets out a wet, crass belch as his gut suddenly loses size and shape. It was nearly instantaneous, his gut having rumbled before rounding out. A.sgore’s cape comes back up, landing on the ground with a splat and dripping in slime. The king is already pumping along fast, flushing through the human’s systems and making him groan slightly.

The human drops his pants and squats slightly over the large throne in the middle of the room. A loud rumble comes from his stomach and he pushes, immediately having the king come slopping out the back end in a heap. The most solid thing of the mess is A.sgore’s armor, which lands with thuds and clangs as it piles up on the throne. It’s all mostly buried in soft shit, though, thanks to how quickly he went through the human’s digestive system.

Tufts of fur and bones come out occasionally as well, giving a lot less trouble than the armor was. The human groans and grumbles as he steadily pumps the king out and onto his throne. The chest plate got a real whine from him. It makes the goat’s skull feel like nothing, even when the horns stretch him out awkwardly. It’s one of the last things to come out, landing on the pile with its jaw bone open, A.sgore’s crown sitting inside.

The human sighs deeply once he feels emptied out. He doesn’t bother looking back at the mess or the ruined throne. He picks the cape up off the ground to wipe himself clean with and throws it over the pile as he walks past. At least he can leave now. “Can’t believe he was the best tasting thing down here...” the human grumbles to himself as he leaves.

---

“But Dad!” A.sriel whines, sounding more like a little kid than a college student. A.sgore puts his paw up, though, and shakes his head.

“No buts, Azzy. This is what the customer requested and that’s what we’re going to do.” Even if he was a little nervous of it himself, A.sgore wasn’t going to back down now that it’s been decided. The customer is always right, after all!

The human standing before the goats smiles. He’s clearly a gardener, dressed up in dirty clothes well used. “Thanks so much for this,” he says, clasping his gloved hands together. “Nothing works nearly as well for my garden. This’ll last me for a while.”

“Of course!” A.sgore smiles warmly and nods. He had to respect a fellow garden and their personal tricks. He plants a hand on the small of A.sriel’s back and gently pushes the smaller goat forward. “Why don’t you start with A.sriel? Since he’s nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” A.sriel grumbles. “I’m supposed to be going back to class in a week! Do I have to do this?”

“Azzy.” A.sgore gives his son a stern look, making the younger goat sigh and lower his head with a grumble. He then looks back at the human and smiles. “Sorry about him.”

“It’s alright,” the human says with a chuckle. “I’ll get him settled in quick. At least he won’t have to worry about grades anymore.” The human grabs A.sriel and pulls him in closer. They’re about the same height, so A.sriel gets to look straight forward as the drooling jaws yawn open wide in front of him. He opens his own mouth to say something, but his head is engulfed and wet gulps begin to drag him down.

A.sriel disappears fast, his slim body being slurped down with little issue. The human’s stomach bulges out with a slosh, stretching around the form of the college student. He kicked and wiggled just a bit but ends up curled up tight. The human lets out a soft belch and licks his lips. “Tasty kid you had there. Mind if I see if his dad lives up to that?”

A.sgore blinks and perks up. “Oh? You want me already? Can you handle--”

“Yep!” The human pulls A.sgore in close now. “You monsters go down smooth no matter the size. That’s what makes you such good manure!” His maw opens wide again and he crams A.sgore’s head in next. The long horns make it a bit awkward to fit, but once it does, wet gulps begin to drag A.sgore down as well. He’s bigger and bulkier than his son, but other than taking slightly longer, he goes down just as smoothly.

With a wet slurp, A.sgore’s kicking paws disappear past the human’s lips. His gut is massive now, nearly resting on the ground as the dad is crammed in alongside his son. The human belches deeply, rubbing over the top of his gut. It’s stretched tight over the two and they’re shifting around in the cramped space. He can see paws and legs and muzzles and horns bulging out all over. “Aaaah...perfect! Now for the hard part...” The human smacks his gut gently as thick gurgling sounds begin to rumble out of his gut.

Over a few hours, the human’s stomach gets louder and more active. The two goats thrash a bit more from it, but other than some white-furred belches, it doesn’t do much. His gut steadily shrinks down over time, bulges sinking inward and smoothing out. He can feel the two monsters breaking down more and more, and pressing into his gut every so often lets him feel how soft they are. A.sriel goes quiet about halfway through, smooshed under his dad. A.sgore lasts a good while longer, even when the human’s gut is too round to make out any features. But he goes out with a good belch at the end.

Then the human just has to do the final act. Using some of the fertilizer bags around, the human squats down and pushes with a grunt. Thick, soft shit starts to coil out of him quickly. Bits of white fur and leftover bones can be made out in the muck, but otherwise it’s a dark brown mass of waste. It doesn’t give the human much trouble. A.sriel is fairly smooth, filling up two bags on his own. The human doesn’t even notice his skull in the last one as its tied off.

A.sgore is a bit more...everything. Nearly double the amount of waste, and a lot thicker on its way out. It takes more effort for the human to pass him. The skull is the part that he grunts with the most as those horns give him a bit of trouble. But it comes out as well and gets mostly buried under a few more logs, just the tips of the horns poking out as the bag is tied off.

The six bags are packed up in the human’s car outside and he makes sure to flip the sign on the shop to ‘Closed’. No one’s going to be running this shop anymore, after all. The goats are relocating to a much more private garden from now on.

---

A.sriel hiccups, his mind a buzz now that he’s several drinks deep. He’s finally old enough to go drinking, and some of his friends from college took him out to a local bar to celebrate. He’s since lost track of them but he’s not too bothered. The goat has cozied up with an apparent regular, a large, older human. He’s the one who’s been helpfully supplying drinks to the goat this evening.

When the offer to ‘go have some fun’ is made, along with a good squeeze on A.sriel’s ass, he’s more than eager to play along. He wobbles along after the human, disappearing into the bar’s bathroom. The older man drops his pants and sits on a toilet. With some guidance, A.sriel straddles the man’s hips with a drunken giggle. He puts his arms around the human’s shoulders and leans in for a kiss.

What he’s greeted with is an open, drooling maw. A.sriel doesn’t register this very well as he ends up planting his nose into the human’s maw with a surprise bleat. A hand shoves on the back of his head, wedging him in deeper, forcing his face into the man’s gullet. A.sriel wriggles around a bit in confusion, trying to figure out why things are getting slimier and darker, all while heavy gulps echo in his ears.

The human tips his head back as he gets to the goat’s perky ass. He swallows it up with a wet gulp and then slurps down his kicking legs. He never can get enough of college boys, and the ones like this goat are always his favorite. Easy prey. His gut bulges out a bit in his lap as he feels A.sriel sink inside and he lets out a crass belch, a bit of white fur fluttering on his breath.

The human’s gut groans wetly as A.sriel settles inside. The poor goat is so wasted, he barely knows what’s happening. He tries to move around but the walls keep squeezing and clenching him back into place. The steady gurgling is somewhat relaxing, though. He starts to go still, not even stirring as the muffled sound of the bar comes back through the stomach walls.

The human burps into his fist as he returns to his seat to get another drink. He feels like washing the cute goat down with something good. His guts are already starting to gurgle heavily, working on the meat inside. After a couple of hours, it’s already gotten a lot softer. The human ends up just missing some other college guys trying to find their friend as he returns to the bathroom.

Planting himself on the toilet he’d eaten the goat in, the human grunts and pushes. There’s a trumpeting fart that sounds out in the bowl before thick, soft shit starts sliding out. A.sriel melted down easily in the man’s take, completely overtaken by the older and stronger human. Other than some bones and tufts of soiled white fur, there’s little of him left.

A.sriel at least fills the bowl up full, his skull buried in the top as the human lifts his ass again. The man doesn’t even look back at the mess, whistling to himself as he flushes. The mass of goat-turned-shit slowly chugs down the drain and out of sight, A.sriel gone for good after only one visit to the bar.

[basu-shokikita]

Dethentines 2024 Day 7

Will you be my Valentine?

Picture me arriving to the finish line wheezing and dying, 'cause that's me right now. I don't know why I thought that finishing the entries on the very same day of posting was a good idea but that's what ended up happening. Never again, hopefully.

Either way, here's my last entry for Dethentines, aka the one that matters the most because it's for Valentine's Day so I made an extra effort and you get a whooping +2k words for today. It's Skwistok, obviously, but the rest of Dethklok get a pretty decent amount of participation because I wanted to go out with a bang. Or try to.

Also, I'm linking to this song for no reason.

Thank you so much for organizing Dethentines this year! I had lots of fun and I'm happy to have managed to participate in all days ✨ See you around~

“And then we does the things like-” Skwisgaar made a high pitched noise. “Like-” He made an explosion sound. “You gets?”

“Right, like-” Nathan made a deep growling noise. “And then-” A boing-like noise followed. “And then some more…”

“Ja!” Skwisgaar nodded enthusiastically. It was really easy to talk about music with Nathan, it’s like they read each other’s minds somehow. “We has to…”

Suddenly, Toki walked into the living room. He stopped right when he saw the two of them. Skwisgaar raised a hand to wave at him, a reluctant smile on his face. However, Toki only frowned in response and left.

“Uh-oh.” Nathan watched Toki’s silhouette slowly get smaller. “What did you do?”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar let his arm drop on the couch. “He ams mads abouts Vals and Tines days.”

“Valentine’s Day?” Nathan repeated in confusion.

“Ja, he askeds if I wanteds to spends wif hims. Goes ons a dates togethors…dats stuff…”

Nathan waited a moment and, when Skwisgaar didn’t continue, he asked. “And what did you say?”

Skwisgaar winced a little. “I says it was fuckings stupids and jackoffs things whats we donts needs.”

“Woah!” Nathan sat back in shock. “Woah, Skwisgaar!”

“Whats? We ams alreadies togethers sorts of, okeys?” Skwisgaar shrugged. “And Valentines ams dildos” He mumbled. “ I don’ts gets it.”

“Yeah, but Toki likes that shit, remember? He’s, uh…” Nathan struggled to find a word that wouldn’t be offensive. “...Different.”

“Pfft.” Skwisgaar snorted. “Differents ams rights.”

“Besides…” Nathan’s eyes wandered to the living room. “I don’t think it’s that weird to want to do all romantic shit when you’re in love. Love might not be cool at all, but it is pretty brutal.”

Skwisgaar pouted, unable to refute Nathan on that. Discovering his feelings for Toki had been a pretty brutal experience. “I guess you ams rights.”

“You gotta apologize to him, dude.”

“Eugh.” Skwisgaar looked up to the ceiling, unable to find reasons against. 

–

They were having lunch and Toki was too busy finishing up his mountain of spaghetti to notice Skwisgaar had been staring at him for the past 5 minutes. It was late and there was nobody else in the kitchen but them. Well, besides the Klokateers.

Skwisgaar decided to make an attempt. “Toki?” He called him hesitantly.

Toki kept eating as if nothing had happened, slurping loudly and spreading cheese on the pasta like his life depended on it. Frankly, Skwisgaar wasn’t sure Toki had heard him or not.

“Toki?” He called him a second time.

Still nothing, Toki was gulping from his glass of water. “Mores, please!” He said, after slamming the glass on the table.

“Sire!” One Klokateer immediately appeared with a pitcher of water and filled Toki’s glass to the brim.

“Thank yous.” Toki said before he resumed eating.

“Tok-” Skwisgaar decided to cut the bullshit and sat on the seat next to Toki. There was a subtle acknowledgement, as Toki glanced to his side before returning his attention to his food. “Toki, listens.”  Skwisgaar said, gently placing his hand on Toki’s arm. 

Toki kept eating, completely unbothered.

Truth to be told, Skwisgaar wasn’t used to being this ignored, especially not by Toki, so he felt the discouragement in his gut. He cleared his throat. “Ams sorries about de other deis, okeis? I didn’ts…realize how imporkstants it ams was to yous, soes…”

“Dat was goods.” Toki said and Skwisgaar raised his eyes with expectation, but Toki was staring at his now empty dish and rubbing his belly.

He sighed. “Tokis, please, we can does what you wants. I won’ts complains, justs-”

Abruptly, Toki stood up and walked away without looking back. Skwisgaar buried his face in his hands in frustration.

He really fucked things up this time.

“Ye gotta mehk it up to him, dood.” Pickles suddenly spoke behind him and Skwisgaar almost did a somersault from shock.

“Eugh! Pickle!” He glanced at him, horrified. “Whens dids you get heres?”

Pickles grimaced like he was offended. “Dood, I’ve been here de whole time.”

“Huh…” Skwisgaar could not remember for the life of him seeing him here but , oh well. “Waits, what does you means makes it ups to him?” He squinted. “Whats does you knows?”

Pickles snorted, gesturing dismissively with one hand. “Nethan already told me ‘bout it. You broke Toki’s heart, didn’t ye?”

“Wells…” Skwisgaar winced. “I wouldn’ts…puts it like dats…”

“An apology just wahn’t do.” Pickles leaned into Skwisgaar’s ear. “Ye gotta surprise him yourself.” 

“What?” Skwisgaar turned to him in horror. “You means…?”

Smirking, Pickles nodded slowly at him. 

–

Skwisgaar looked at the door with preemptive regret. He was one second away from leaving and forgetting the whole thing. This was his dignity on the line now, nothing to joke about.

Toki’s face flashed in his mind and Skwisgaar closed his eyes in defeat. His breath hitched and his heart raced as he knocked on the door thrice.

It only took a few seconds for it to open, and behind it, a confused Murderface appeared. “Schkwisgaar? What do you want?”

“Is never thots I woulds says dis, Moidaface.” Skwisgaar was already short of breath. “But I needs yous helps.”

Murderface crossed his arms with a scowl. “Thisch better not be a prank.”

“I don’t has time for pranks.” Skwisgaar said as he made his way into Murderface’s room.

“Hey!”

Uncaring, he slammed the door behind him and Murderface gave him a stunned stare. “I needs yous helps now.”

Murderface looked him up and down, like he wasn’t sure what to make of Skwisgaar’s words. “Thisch ischn’t a gay thing, right?”

“Whats?” Skwisgaar was appalled. “N-well, it ams kinds of gays, actuallies.” He sighed. “You ams goods friends with Tokes, rights?”

“I guesch.” Murderface shrugged noncommittally which honestly irritated Skwisgaar but he decided to let it go.

“Does he, eugh…Does he talkeds about Valskentines with yous?”

“Oh,” Murderface rolled his eyes and turned around. “All the fucking time! Me and Schkwisgaar are going to do thisch! Me and Schkwisgaar are going do that! It’sch my firscht Valentinesch ever, Murderface! I’m scho exschited!” He made a disgusted noise. “Made me schick, really.”

The guilt piled up on the pit of Skwisgaar’s stomach. “Does you…remembers any specificks?”

“Uhh, he schaid it would be the firscht date ever for you guysch so he wanted to do everything…” He rested his back against his deck. “Firscht, have breakfascht in bed. Then, go to the petting szchoo to pet the catch. After that, walk in the park while holding handsch and eating…” He shuddered. “Hot dogsch. Then, planetarium vischit to look at the starchs. Then, go to the theater to watch a movie…and then dinner at a fanschy restaurant. He did schpare me the detailsch for the night after that, thank Chrischt.”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar was impressed. “You shores remembers de hole thingks.”

“Well, he wouldn’t schut up about it!” Murderface defensively and opened the first drawer of his desk. “Look, he even made drawingsch of it!” At once, Murderface spread a bunch of drawings over the top of the desk.

One of the drawings had them petting cats, in another they were walking in the park with the hot dogs, looking at the stars, at a fancy restaurant…there were even some drawings of things Murderface hadn’t described, probably things Toki couldn’t fit into their schedule.

“Why does you has dese?” He asked.

Murderface blinked a couple of times before looking away. “We like drawing together, okay? And he alwaysch leavesch hisch drawingsch here. Idiot.”

“Rights.” Skwisgaar stood up. “I thinks I gots all I needs now, so I’m goingks-”

“Wait, what do I get in exchange?”

“Eugh…Toki’s unconskditionals loves?”

Murderface buffed. “Big deal.” Skwisgaar was walking to the other when he spoke again. “I know it’sch not any of my buschiness but…” Skwisgaar turned to look at him. “He kind of, really likesch you, scho…yeah.”

Unbelievable, even Murderface was lecturing him now. Skwisgaar couldn’t imagine sinking lower. “Rights. Thanks, Moidaface.”

“Whatever.”

Skwisgaar closed the door, a new determination finding its way inside him. 

–

“Whats ams dis?” Toki asked, upon finding a letter next to his plate during breakfast. It was a bronze envelope with a blood red seal. 

“Hm?” Pickles was stuffing oatmeal down his throat. “No idea, dood.”

Toki was skeptical, looking at Nathan and Murderface eat in silence. “Where ams Skwisgaar?”

Nathan, currently attacking a beef steak, replied. “Uhh, probably sleeping? Who knows. It’s Skwisgaar.”

Still not quite convinced, Toki ripped open the envelope and found a letter inside except there was nothing written in it. Just a red guitar vaguely shaped like a heart. “Alrights, who ams doings this? It amsnt funnies.” He asked with irritation. He wasn’t in the mood to get pranked on Valentine’s Day.

“It’sch probably schomething to do with playing the guitar.” Murderface blurted and the other two glared at him. “Or schomething.” He added to save face.

Toki squinted at his friends. “You guys amsnt collsudings togeders, ams you?”

“No.” All three of them said at the same time, which only made it more suspicious.

“We’re just eatin’ our breakfast here.” Pickles said.

“Yeah, why would we care about anything that ischn’t our breakfascht?”

“It’s not like today is a special day or anything.”

Toki got up from the table, unamused. He wasn’t going to bother with this, he would just get to the root of the problem and cut it off. Simple as that. 

“Skwisgaar.” He knocked on his door. “Ams not in de moods for dis okays? Soes just-” The door opened with a creak, revealing an empty bedroom. Toki looked inside, intrigued and found lit red candles melting on the floor. Upon closer inspection, he realized they were skull shaped. 

On the bed, there was a guitar made of red rose petals and a pile of Deaddy Bears in different brutal outfits laid in place of the pillows. The TV was showing ‘Love and Guts 4’ Toki’s favorite horror movie and, under it, there was a box of sugar-free chocolates with a note on them. 

Meets me wheres we first kiss

Toki’s eyes widened upon reading. Did he mean….?

–

He couldn’t help it, he was supposed to be mad but he couldn’t help running towards the location, excitement drumming inside his chest. What was he expecting? What was going to happen? What had Skwisgaar planned?

When he reached the double-door, he found it only marginally open so he grabbed the knob to reveal the inside. 

Skwisgaar was sitting on a stool inside Murderface’s closet, guitar in his hand. He seemed to have been caught off guard because he made a surprised noise when he saw Toki.

Toki tried to catch his breath. “Skwisga-”

Abruptly, Skwisgaar started playing the guitar. First the E, then the G sharp minor, then the C sharp minor, then the A. Then he played the whole sequence again. 

“Does you wanna be mines girls-boyfriends…” He sang unsurely. “We’lls walks to the cemeteries and alls kiss you agains…And makes ours dead friends blushks…We ams getting marrieds right dere on de seens…” He inhaled shakily. “Does you wants to be mines best friends? Yous can drives me crazies alls over agains…And alls bores you death oooh, doesn’ts matters when we ams in love. Rights?” He smiled at a speechless Toki.

Then the guitar got heavier, but Skwisgaar’s eyes were still on Toki. “Does you wanna be mines boyfriends?” He continued. "Does you wanna be mine boyfriends? Does you wanna be mines- Does you wanna be mines?” He stood up and kept playing, now closing the distance between them as he finished up the song. When it ended, he had essentially backed Toki against the wall.

Skwisgaar’s expression softened, the confidence from playing was fading into reluctance. “Ams sorries about everythings, Toki. I didn’ts realize how impskortants dis was to yous. Lets me makes it up to yous. Is calleds reservations fors a restaurants and bookeds de movies and plansetariums, ands the pettings zoo has spots fors us and-” Impulsively, Toki locked their lips together and Skwisgaar lost the trail of his thoughts.

“It ams okay, Skwisgaar.” He said when he pulled away. “I just thoughts you didnts…” He shook his head, smiling. “Doesn’ts matters.” Giggling, he laced their fingers together. “Soes, boysfriend?”

Skwisgaar felt his face heat up from embarrassment. “Dats- Dats what de songs-” He stopped babbling and his face turned solemn instead. “Eugh, ja.” With a heavy swallow, he asked. “Does you wants to be mines boysfriends, Toki?”

Toki’s smile was like a thousand beams directed at once at Skwisgaar. “Ja, I wants to bes your boyfriend, Skwisgaar.”

Smiling back, Skwisgaar brought Toki closer to him. “Cans I kiss mines boyfriends now?”

“You cans.” Toki said, the happiness leaking from his face.

As they wrapped around each other, Skwisgaar felt only slightly bad for the mess they were about to do in Murderface’s closet.

But only slightly.

–

“Well, it sure sounds like they’re havin’ fun.” Pickles commented, ear to the closet door. 

“Now who’sch gonna clean after them!” Murderface complained. “My closchet isch gonna be dischguschting!”

“Murderface, you don’t even clean your own room.” Nathan countered, already looking tired. 

“Yeah, well, neither do you!”

“Yeah, ‘cause we’re fucking rich. Just call a Klokateer to get it done.”

“I guesch!”

The closet door banged so loudly that all three of them jolted.

“Okei!” Pickles clasped his hands together. “Who wants t' get wasted to feel less miserable on Valentine’s Day!”

“Me!” Nathan and Murderface replied in unison. 

“Let’s leave the lovebirds, then.” Pickles made an example as he walked away from the closet and the two soon followed him.

“Fuck Valentine’sch Day!” Murderface said.

“Yeah, it’s capitalism brutality, and not the kind that benefits us.” Nathan agreed.

“It’s stoopid as hell, like whoa! I’m in love! Big deal!” Pickles threw his hands into the air.

“Yeah.”

“Totally.”

They smiled at each other. Seriously, fuck Valentine’s Day. 

[bellysoupset]

Sick Wendy during the holidays + Caretaker Vince. Fever, stomach bug and some much deserved belly rubs.

-----------------------------------------

"Honey," Wendy whispered, shaking Vince's shoulder lightly and he groaned, rolling away from her as much as the passenger seat allowed. She bit down a smile, shaking him harder, "Vince, wake up."

"Are we here?" he groaned, not bothering to open his eyes and Wendy opened a fond smile, rubbing his back. Vince had these terrible dark circles lately that were worrying her, but he swore everything was fine, he just couldn't get a good night of sleep. She decided to let him sleep.

"No," she whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to his curls, "we're at the gas stop, I'll be right back. Do you want anything?"

Nothing but a soft snore answered her.

It wasn't a hole-in-the-wall type of gas station. It was part of a much bigger chain and had a restaurant area, as well as a trinkets store and a coffee shop.

They had had breakfast back home and Wendy was still feeling quite full from it, but that didn't stop her from buying a large caramel latte, as well as a box of cupcakes for Vince, then took her sweet time browsing through the trinkets.

Everything was overpriced, since this was the last store before reaching town and they knew their clients were people who had forgotten to buy gifts, especially during holiday season.

Wendy smiled as she saw a beautiful headband, all bejeweled and with turquoise stones. She put it inside her basket, continuing to go through the products, while slurping on the rest of her coffee. Wendy grimaced as her straw hit the bottom of her plastic cup. She hadn't realized how fast she chugged it.

Her stomach gurgled, complaining, and she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, standing up straight and going to pay for the headband, as well as other useless trinkets she thought were cute.

Vince was awake once she got back to the car. He had jumped out and was leaning against the metal, hands shoved in his jacket's pocket, cheeks kissed by the cold and all pink, the tips of his curls poking out from under his black beanie were twirling with the wind.

"What you got there?" he asked, once Wendy moved closer. She handed him the box of cupcakes, the one she had already forgotten about and felt vaguely queasy as he opened it to reveal the icing covered goodies.

"Ooh, they look great... I'm starving," he reached for one, before pausing and frowning, "dairy free? I don't wanna shit my pants during Christmas, honey."

Wendy wrinkled her nose at his crass language, shifting on her feet. Her stomach was starting to throb and continuing to gurgle, "it's just the 20th," she told him with an eyeroll, then before Vince could interrupt, "and yes, they're dairy free."

"Uhm," he didn't need to hear anything else, all but shoving one of the tiny cupcakes whole in his mouth, "eel'goo."

"Ew," Wendy grinned, putting the other bags in the backseat and circling him, "switch with me?"

Vince nodded, still eating as he circled the car and then planting the box on her lap as he fixed the car seat and put them back on the road.

"These are actually great," he said happily, fishing another one from the box, left hand drumming on the steering wheel, "thank you... Aren't you gonna eat, Wen?"

Wendy's stomach squeezed at the thought and she shook her head, fighting to keep a smile on, "not hungry..."

"Are you sure?" Vince glanced at her quickly, before looking back to the road, "they have a red velvet one..."

"No, I'm good," Wendy stressed, fighting the urge to shove the cupcakes off her lap. She could smell them and all that sweetness was making her already unsettled belly even more so.

Vince frowned and seemed like he wanted to argue, but he didn't say anything, only ate another cupcake and kept driving. Wendy was graceful, her stomach was souring quickly and her head started to throb with the sweet scent filling the car.

It was snowing, so it wasn't like she could open a window and she mentally cursed, leaning back on her seat and closing her eyes, breathing through her mouth. Maybe she was just carsick, she could fight through it.

Her mouth felt sticky and she licked at her dry lips, gulping down and bouncing one of her legs anxiously, feeling the latte churn in her belly. In the cramped space of the car, she was sure Vince could hear all the little noises her stomach was making and Wendy felt terribly embarrassed on top of the nausea, trapped like a caged animal and wanting to put as much distance between them.

Vince's freezing hand upon her forehead startled her so much Wendy gasped and coughed, rushing to sit up straight.

"What-"

"You don't look so well, honey," he had slowed down and seemed to be looking for a spot to pull over, much to her dismay. The cupcake box had been closed and Wendy glanced around in search of it, finding it sitting in the backseat.

"I'm fine, I'm just..." there was cold sweat gluing her clothes to her back and Wendy groaned, squirming on her seat, "don't laugh," she said, wrapping an arm around her stomach and pushing his hand away from her face, "I drank a latte back at the stop and it's not sitting well."

"Oh," Vince sounded relieved, which only made her want to curl up more. Wendy pressed herself to the door, rocking her body slightly to keep her mind off the waves of queasiness and the pressure in the back of her throat, "why didn't you just say something, hon? Do you want me to pull over?"

"Nu-uh," Wendy shook her head, then brought up a hand to her mouth and muffled a little sick, airy burp, "no, I just want to get to Doveport as soon as possible..."

"We're fifteen minutes out," Vince planted a hand on the middle of her back, switching his attention back to the road, "think you can handle it?"

"God, stop-" Wendy groaned, leaning further in and breathing through her mouth, "stop babying me, it's my fault I feel like shit, Vince. I shouldn't have drank a freaking gas station caramel mocha."

Just the thought of it made her spine curl and Wendy gulped down as she could taste the sweetness all over again. She shuddered, again, goosebumps covering her skin.

"Don't be silly," Vince reached in the cupholder between them, passing her a water bottle, "it's not your fault, honey."

"Uhm..." the water was refreshing, but it landed on her stomach like a brick, immediately wanting out. Wendy's rushed to cup her mouth as her body betrayed her and yet another little burp rushed out, this one morphing in a gag at the end. She swallowed convulsively the sweet saliva pooling in her mouth, her throat seeming to refuse her.

"...Just a second..." she heard Vince say in the background and then the car came to a stop on the side of the road and he reached over her, pushing her door open when Wendy didn't move. She let out a groan, shaking her head, still in denial.

"Nooo..."

"I don't think you get a say on that, honey," Vin said sympathetically, knuckles brushing her cheeks, "c'mon, better out than in."

Her belly let out a nasty growl, a nauseating string of burbles rolling around and Wendy whimpered, giving in and turning on seat to hang out of the door.

She tugged on the ends of her pink scarf, tugging it off her neck and balling it up in one hand, the one squeezing the doorway. Her stomach turned once more and Wendy spat on the grey snow on the side of the road, knowing there was no chance to swallow it back down and not throw up.

Vince's hand was still in the middle of her back, rubbing soothing circles and she wanted to tell him to stop touching her, not when she was feeling this gross and embarrassed... Wendy let out a sick burp and whined, gulping the acid in the back of her throat.

"Let it up, honey, you'll feel better," Vince thumped her back lightly and she nearly snapped at him, when the motion only made her feel worse. She couldn't swallow it back down like this, as he forced up another belch... And then she puked a gush of beige vomit all over the snow.

Wendy coughed, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to spit the horrible taste in her mouth, without setting off another round. Her nausea didn't lessen, on the contrary, it only seemed to grow and grow... She nearly fell off the car with the strength of the next heave, vomiting a much larger amount as her belly squeezed with a cramp.

Vince had moved on his seat, so he could gently hold the pieces of hair away from her mouth with one hand, the other one planted on her shoulder to stop Wendy from taking a dive at the disgusting side of the road, and she let out a whimper at the realization he could see exactly what she could see, which was quite the gruesome sight.

"Stop- Stop touching me..." Wendy whined, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and falling back against her seat, wrapping one arm around her stomach. She was wearing a graphic sweater, as well as a thick baby blue skirt, with a belt around her middle. When they left home, the belt had been loose, but right now it felt like it was squeezing her in half.

However, just the idea of undoing it was too humiliating. Wendy gulped down nervously, shuddering again and wiping the little tears clinging to her lashes. She avoided Vin's worried gaze and his outstretched hand, holding the plastic bottle of water. Her fingers came back brushed with black and Wendy groaned again, imagining just how gross she looked, with her mascara all smeared.

"I'm so sorry," she sighed, wiping at her mouth and her eyes again, trying to regain a scrap of composure, "I'm sorry, this was disgusting, I just-"

"Oh, can it, Wen," Vince scoffed, cupping her face. His hands were freezing and they felt lovely against her cheeks, even if they made her shiver. Wendy whined, closing her eyes as her stomach continued to flip, not feeling one bit settled, although it was much emptier, "did getting that out of your system help?"

She nodded, lying, and Vince let out a huff, suddenly pressing a kiss to her brow, "I don't know if I believe it, you're the color of the snow."

Wendy gagged at the thought, "covered in sick and disgusting?"

"White," Vince corrected her with a chuckle, reaching over her to slam the door shut, "white like a bunny," he teased lightly, kissing her temple again, "take a minute, okay? We're not in a rush."

"We sort of are, though," Wendy sighed, but couldn't help but lean back on her seat with relief. Her stomach was still feeling horrible, churning ominously and she felt far from done. To makes matters worse, she was covered in sweat and couldn't seem to stop shaking, "I feel like crap."

"I'm sorry, honey," Vince rubbed her arm, then reached on the side of her seat, lowering it a little bit, "we're really almost home, just try and breathe, okay?"

That wasn't as reassuring as he thought it was. Home for Vince, sure, but to her it meant a much larger audience witnessing as she made a fool of herself, her stomach hellbent on emptying itself from the caramel latte and Wendy was terrified her intestines would join her body's riot against her. She wanted her own apartment, her own bed and bathroom and no audience.

Still, she didn't say it out loud, and true to Vin's words, not even 10 minutes later they were entering his street. Wendy lowered the mirror to get a look at herself, then cringed as she saw the smudged mascara around her eyes, and how pale she was. She quickly wiped the black vestiges away, grabbing the water bottle and taking some sips, swishing the water around to get rid of the horrible taste in her mouth and the puke breath. It was the best she could do.

The water had been a horrible idea, it added to the churning in her tummy, making her feel even more nauseous. She felt overly full and dizzy, but right now was not the time.

The front door opened and Vince's mom rushed out to pull her 6'4 baby into a hug, squealing when he pulled her off her feet. It was a heart warming scene and Wendy would've basked in it, wasn't it for the fact she could feel her belly squeezing again, her mouth watering.

"You too, c'mere," Ma said, tugging Wendy into a hug, "darling, I missed you... What's wrong?"

Wendy wanted to cry. She had hoped she could simply lie her way through and go up to Vin's room to curl up in his bathroom and die, but clearly his mother had other ideas. The woman cupped her cheeks, then touched her forehead, a wrinkle appearing between her brows, a frown forming. Ma looked every little bit like her son when she glared like that.

"I'm fine-"

"Mamma, she's alright," Vince interjected, noticing his girlfriend's pale face and weak, strained voice, "carsickness, that's all."

Carsickness was much less embarrassing than I-drank-a-fucking-side-of-the-road-latte-because-i'm-stupid-and-have-no-self-restraint, Wendy thought sourly, wincing.

Ma let out a little unhappy noise, "you poor thing," she pulled back, patting Wendy's arm, "come inside, lie down for a bit. I'll get you a ginger ale."

She mumbled another string of words, but that Wendy couldn't piece together since it was in italian. She hoped it was just amiable cooing, but Wendy's swirling thoughts couldn't help but feel like she was being judged.

Her parents would be judging the shit out of Vince if it was the other way around, the talking behind his back would simply never stop. It was hard to believe in Ma's genuine affection as she pushed Wendy inside the house and towards the couch, telling her to sit down and lean back her head.

"You'll feel alright in un attimo," the woman cooed, while Vince brought in the bags. He flashed Wendy a smile, crossing the living room to crouch in front of the couch.

"Sorry, mom's a lot," he whispered, pushing a strand of hair away from Wendy's eyes, "how's your belly?"

"I wanna die, Vince," Wendy answered him, her voice hoarse from the previous puking, "I'm sorry, this was so stupid- I don't know where my mind was."

Vince rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss her forehead, "whatever do you mean, honey?" he cupped her face, thumb on her chin, "you couldn't possibly have guessed you'd get sick."

"It was gas station food, I definitely could have not eaten that," Wendy scoffed, wrapping an arm around her stomach as the thought made her all the more queasy. She hated that she could still just taste it.

Across the room there was a noise and then Livia rushed in, bundled up in a snow coat, grinning the whole way.

"VINNY!" She squealed, throwing herself over her brother with her whole body, causing him to almost fall on his back. He opened a big smile, kissing her cheek and moving his arms to Liv was sitting on his knee, her arms wrapped around his neck.

The little girl finally saw Wendy, still smiling as she said, "Hi principessa," she jumped from Vin's lap to press a kiss to Wendy's cheek, before frowning, "why are you sad?"

"Wendy's sick, bambi, leave her alone," Vince pulled his sister back, grabbing the little kid and throwing her over his shoulder, then turning to Wendy, "I'm gonna get you some water, do you think pepto would help?"

Wendy shrugged, she didn't feel like she could hold the medicine down, but it was worth a try. Vin let out a little sad, sympathetic sigh, before whispering, "be right back."

She let out a groan once he was out of sight, curling up on the couch and trying to figure if she could get away with leaving the living room or if it'd be too rude. Her stomach was sloshing uncomfortably and she still couldn't stop shivering.

"Here," Sophia's voice startled her and Wendy glanced up from her curled up position, in time to see Vince's cranky teenager sister drape a blanket over her.

It made her heart sink and Wendy opened a strained smile, "thank you..." she said, her voice all raspy. Sophia blushed, shrugging.

"Do you need anything else?" she reminded Wendy of Jonah and Wendy smiled at the thought, pulling the blankets tighter around her. She wanted Vince, but he had only been gone for ten minutes, so it was too pathetic to say out loud.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, Soph."

Still Sophia hung around, uneasily shifting her weight from foot to foot, clearly wanting to do more but unsure of what. She was thankfully interrupted by Vince coming back, a thermos in one of his hands, as well as a ceramic mug held only by his pinky around the handle, the little bottle of pepto bismol sitting inside of it.

"Mamma made some peppermint tea, honey," Vince said, messing Sophia's hair as he circled around her to get to the couch and causing his sister to hiss and shove his back.

Wendy groaned at the prospect of drinking anything, especially something sweet, when her stomach already felt like it was crawling up her throat. She turned on the couch, pressing her lips tightly closed and breathing deeply through her nose, looking at the ceiling.

"I know you don't wanna drink anything right now, but this could help," Vince said, sitting on the ground in front of her. Even sitting down a level lower than her, he was still taller. Wendy sighed, pulling the ends of the blanket and shaking her head.

"I don't... I don't think so, Vin..."

He pouted, then leaned in to push a stray hair away from her eyes and his brows dipped into a frown, "oh Wen, you're really warm..."

She leaned forward, planting her forehead to his hand and still taking measured breaths, as her stomach started to feel more and more uneasy, "that..." her mouth pooled with overly sweet spit and Wendy gulped it down, "that'd-explaininnit..." she slurred, the words barely forming. Her face felt numb.

"Vin..." Wendy heard Sophia saying, but she was far too nauseous to pay any attention. It felt like the couch was swaying... Her throat constricted as if she couldn't breathe and up came another wave of vomit.

This time it was much chunkier and harder to get up and Wendy was left gasping for air and crying when she finished off the first round, her stomach still flipping inside of her, letting out a little acrid burp. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, sure she had just thrown up all over her boyfriend's parent's living room, probably ruining his mom's rug.

"I'm-" Wendy hiccupped, her head throbbing in the same rhythm as her belly churned, "fuck, i'm so-sorry..." there were tears streaming down her face and Wendy started to openly cry as she felt Vince shush her, pulling her closer to him. Her forehead met his chest or his tummy, she wasn't sure, she only knew she could smell the fabric softener in his hoodie and that it was soft and inviting... And she was probably ruining it with tears and drool.

"Soph, potresti prendere il...?"

"Sí, sí-"

Whatever Vince said to his sister, suddenly Wendy was no longer half covered by the blanket and his arms were wrapping around her, one under her legs, the other around her back, lifting her up.

"No-" Wendy groaned, as he moved so her head could rest on his shoulder, "no, Vin, I'm-" her belly contracted painfully and Wendy muffled a burp against his chest, gasping for air, "stooop..."

"Sorry, doll," Vince whispered back, his voice rough with concern. Wendy groaned louder at the movement of him carrying her, probably up the stairs judging by the up and down that was making her head spin.

"I'm gonna... Vince, wait-" Wendy complained weakly, trying to warn him she was about to be sick again. He sped up, but didn't show any other sign of having heard her and Wen let out a frustrated noise, trying to pull back from his hold.

"No, hon, don't do that," Vince said softly and then hit a light switch and Wendy realized they had just entered his bathroom. It was just a cramped and messy as she remembered it.

He put her down gently in front of the sink and Wendy let out a sob as she noticed a wet dark patch on his hoodie, already wiped at, "oh no-"

"It's alright," Vince tugged his sweater off, balling it up and throwing it under the sink, closing the distance between them so he could pull her hair into a low ponytail.

"Did I..." She leaned heavily over the sink, squeezing her eyes shut against the mounting nausea, "did I puke on your mom's couch...?"

"No, just my lap," Vince teased her lightly, planting a kiss to her temple, and Wendy groaned, letting out a tiny airy burp.

"It's not funny," she scoffed, voice thick with tears and wanting for the ground to open up. She caught Vin rolling his eyes on the mirror.

"Wendy, you're sick, sweetheart. My family adores you, please don't worry about this..." he rubbed her back, "can you get in the shower? I think your fever is up..."

"Uhm," Wendy folded in half, pressing her forehead to the cold sink and shivering violently, "maybe... Do you- Can you give me some space? Please?"

Her belly was still a mess and she had never felt so mortified before, but she knew she'd feel even worse just stripping in front of him. Vince let out a little unhappy noise, his hand still planted in the middle of her back.

"I can... But I'm gonna be right outside, okay? And please don't lock the door."

"Okay," she sniffled, tearing up, "can you get me some clean clothes, please?" Her belt was still squeezing the hell out of her upset tummy and her sweater and skirt felt like they were glued to her sweat covered body. Vince nodded, kissing the top of her head.

"Of course, doll. I'll get you something comfy. You can use my towel, I'll get another one later."

"Thank you," she waited for him to step out and then Wendy's flimsy hold on her self control all but crumbled. New tears sprung up and she immediately started stripping, despite feeling sluggish and awful. The sensation of the clothes was constricting and she especially hated it rubbing on her belly, reminding her how bloated she was.

The hot water took a second to heat up and Wendy shivered violently hugging herself and sitting on the closed toilet in just her panties. Her belly was sore as fuck and she could still hear it let out all sorts of noises, bubbles shifting under her hand.

The warm shower did wonders to how gross she was feeling and relaxed the muscles of her back, but did absolutely nothing to the woozy feeling, except make it worse. She stumbled slightly, pressing her forehead to the cold tiles and letting the hot water run down her back, trying to find any strength to shut it off and walk out.

Instead, her legs were feeling more and more like jelly. Wendy breathed through her mouth as the bathroom spun around her and slowly slid down to a crouched down position, doing her best to not fall on her ass.

Her stomach flipped and she gagged, barely having to heave for more frothy yellow bile to spill out of her and get washed away by the water. There was a knock on the door, Vince's muffled voice calling out her name.

Wendy let out a groan, washing her mouth with shaky hands and tried to get up, only to find out that she couldn't. Instead she sat on her ass and curled up her knees, hoping Vin would overlook her request for privacy and enter the bathroom, because she was seeing a whole new collection of black dots and stars.

She didn't hear the door opening, but she did hear Vince's loud voice exclaim "WENDY!" and then she felt water hitting her face... And next she woke up she was freezing cold.

Wendy didn't think she had been out for more than a couple minutes, because Vin hadn't moved her. He had shut off the water and she was curled up in his arms, shivering violently and he was talking in rapid fire italian-english with someone...

The thought that she was naked in front of his family was enough to have Wendy waking up from any slumber. She whined and tried to move, only to feel Vince's arms squeeze around her, keeping her put. He let out a relieved sigh, "thank fucking God, Wendy..." and only then did she realize he had wrapped her up in a bathing robe.

Ma Monacelli was standing in the doorway, with a phone pressed to her cheek and Wendy dizzily blinked, trying to get a hold of the situation. She couldn't make sense of what his mom was saying and it took her a minute to realize it wasn't in english.

"What... What's your mom..." Wendy grumbled, squirming again. Vince helped her sit up slightly against him, his hands never leaving her once. She realized his curls were glued to the side of his face and his cheeks were blazing red and he was shivering too, water clinging to his lashes... He had gotten in the shower with her.

"She's talking with the doctor. It's better if you don't move yet or you'll get lightheaded," he rubbed her back quickly, in order to produce warmth and Wendy groaned, curling up further.

"No, don't- I don't need a doctor," she whined, shaking her head, "really, I just need to go to bed... It was just- Just the hot water..."

Ma lowered the phone, looking almost angry, "no, we're calling Dr. Bianchi, she's not well."

Wendy felt a small flare of annoyance. She was right there.

Vince probably sensed it, because he interrupted his mother's next words, by saying in a calm voice that didn't belong him, "mamma, we're crowding her. Let me just get Wendy settled in bed and we can discuss a doctor."

Magda crossed her arms, face all scrunched up as if she wanted to argue, "I'm worried, you can't just-"

"Ma," Vince said in a steady, rougher voice that Wendy had never heard him use with his mom. The woman sighed, before nodding and stepping out of the bathroom. She left the door open, but Wen could clearly hear as she shut the bedroom door, having fully left the suite.

"I'm sorry," Wendy whispered, "I didn't mean to make you fight your mom..."

"She'll live," Vince rolled his eyes, pushing the wet hair away from her face, "how are you? Can we move to the bedroom?"

"Dizzy," she answered him honestly, shuddering from cold, "freezing."

"Figures," Vince snorted and Wendy could hear the wind howling outside, probably it had started to snow again, "and your stomach?"

"Still feels really sick," she admitted, "but empty."

"I'm gonna count that as a win," Vince's shoulders dropped and she could clearly see how worried he was, the deep concern lines all over his face, "I'm gonna get you up, okay?"

Very slowly they made their track back to his room and Vince promptly sprung into action as soon as Wendy was sitting on his bed. He grabbed a matching set of his old hoodies in the wardrobe, instead of the suitcase, and crouched down before her.

"What... Why....?" Wendy frowned, confused and trying to understand what he was doing through the brain fog caused by the fever, the headache and the nausea. Vin tapped her knee lightly, sliding his large pants over her legs.

"It's warmer than your stuff," he explained, "and won't squeeze your tummy. Besides, if you end up being sick on it, it's no big deal, these are super old and don't fit me anymore."

"Uhm..." Wendy felt boneless as he removed the bathrobe and slide the hoodie over her head, "can you cuddle me...? I don't want you to get this, but I-"

"Honey," Vince chuckled slightly, pressing a kiss on the corner of her mouth, then over her lips, "we're so past that, don't worry about it. Besides, I never get sick."

"That's a lie," Wendy scoffed, but she couldn't fight the warm sensation that spread all over her as Vince pushed her against the pillows and tugged on the blankets so it was draped over her.

"Just let me change," he whispered, the moved around again. Wendy was too tired to follow him with her eyes, she felt weak and still disgusting, so instead she closed her eyes and hoped Vince would be back soon enough.

She woke up with the bed moving. Now she was warm, for the first time in hours, so warm she was sweating. Wendy could tell she was lying against Vince, because while his tummy was soft, it was much sturdier than the pillow that had been under her head previously. His fingers were running through her hair and he was speaking in a soft voice.

Too soft.

"You can't be here, bambi, you'll get sick too," he was whispering and Wendy forced her eyes open, noticing Livia was sitting on the foot of the bed, looking terribly worried. She was clad in a footie pajama, holding a stuffed bear to her lap, her little hand tracing over Wendy's.

"I don't care," Liv pouted, "is Wendy dying?"

"No," Vince scoffed, stroking Wendy's cheek, still unaware she was awake, "it's just a tummy bug, she'll be fine in a couple of days."

"Are you sure?" Liv squinted at him, then studied Wendy's face. Wen was thankful for the dark room, she wasn't ready to be awake just yet.

"Yes, Liv," Vince smiled, then moved slightly on the bed, so he could slide out from under Wen, "c'mon, let's go to bed, okay?"

He picked up Livia and she whined, but threw her arms around his neck, complaining as he carried her out of the room.

Once more alone, Wendy rolled on the bed, so she was flat on her back. Her muscles were all aching and her belly specifically was hurting, as if she had done a bunch of crunches, as well as if it was still stuffed with food, which she knew it wasn't.

She pushed herself up against the pillows, letting out a sigh of relief as she realized Vince had left the thermos and a bottle of water sitting on the bedside table, as well as there was a trashcan on the ground, within her reach.

Wendy took a tentative gulp of water and when that didn't immediately upset her belly, she took a larger one. It sat like a brick in her belly and she still felt terribly queasy, but at least it didn't immediately want out.

"Hey," Vince whispered, entering the room again, "you're awake."

"Just barely," Wendy smiled, kicking the blankets so he could join her. Vince didn't come cuddle her, instead he grabbed a thermometer sitting right next to the water bottle and handed it to her.

"Just for my peace of mind," Vince said, planting a hand on her forehead, "but you're not that warm anymore, I think it broke while you slept."

"Uhm," Wendy leaned on his touch, "is your mom pissed at me....?"

"Pissed at you? She was so worried she was considering calling 911, doll, she is not pissed at you. She made dad go to the store, did you know they sell gatorade in six packs?"

Wendy's cheeks caught on fire, "oh no... I really didn't mean to-"

"Wen," Vince rolled his eyes, pushing her mouth shut so the thermometer could get a good reading, "we all love you, you're not a bother. We're just worried."

"Uhm," Wendy sighed, waiting until the little device beeped. A low grade fever, but not that high. Vince's shoulders dropped in visible relief and he leaned forward, his forehead meeting her lap.

"You worried the shit out of me, Wendy."

"I'm so-"

"No, stop, stop," he glared at her, pushing her back against the pillows, "stop apologizing, okay? Just let me take care of you."

"You really shouldn't have to, it's Christmas..."

"You don't even celebrate Christmas," he chuckled, kissing her cheek and then moving on the bed, kicking off hsi flip flops so he could get closer to her, "can I rub your belly?"

Wendy's cheeks caught on fire and she awkwardly bit her lip, unsure if she wanted him to touch it or not. The idea of a soothing belly rub sounded amazing, but she still felt so gross and so... So disgusting. She didn't want Vin to come to this realization too...

"You think too much," he whispered, pushing her hoodie up slightly. His hands were really warm and he rubbed them together before planting them on Wendy's bloated, upset tummy.

The organ let out a growl and Wendy pressed her hands to her face, her cheeks aflame, but still she didn't push him back and Vince kept at it. He rubbed it in steady, slow circles and caused her to let out a little burp.

Vin glanced up, worried, but Wendy only shook her head as if to say she was fine. He smiled, then leaned in and planted a kiss on her belly, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Not that much better," Wendy said, her heart stuttering as she felt him plant a bunch of little, fluttery kisses all over her tummy. Vince chuckled, his laugh vibrating against her skin.

"No? How can I help?"

Wendy pressed her knuckles to her mouth, biting down a delighted smile at his teasing tone, "don't stop."

"Not planning on it, honey."

[topsurgerystuff]

Now, I will expound upon the scary things. These are things that happened after top surgery that spooked me.

All of these things ended up being harmless, I just wasn’t told they would happen and couldn’t find any info about them so they scared me shitless. My intention here is to save others from similar needless panic. This is not medical advice, just a description of my experience. Well some of it is advice, but keep in mind that I’m fucking stupid and I don’t know shit. Also, Never for one second have I regretted this surgery. The only thing I miss about my tits is being able to grope them whenever I wanted.

Okay so first of all there was the bruises. Blood from the surgery had pooled in my love handles and all over my thighs under my skin and made these HUGE bruises, right, and they didn’t hurt but they were large and had funky colors and I thought “What if the blood rots under my skin”. I googled it, I asked all my friends, I tried to reach my doctors but it was the weekend so they didn’t answer so I went to urgent care and the doctor there was like “I dont know…. That’s scary….” So I was freaking out and decided I would simply wait for death to claim me. It was fine. When I finally got ahold of the doctor she said she’s never seen it before but to just watch it and tell her if it gets bigger. My body slurped that shit back up in a couple weeks, totally harmlessly. Why haven’t surgeons ever seen shit like that before? Probably because nobody’s ever freaked out about it enough to mention it to them. Either way, it was fine.

Secondly, when I had those drains in me, that was spooky because I thought “What if they get yanked out and tear up my shit” and I couldn’t take off the bandage too see or nothing but when I did eventually take them off, I saw that there are stitches around the pipes but not like holding them in you, just there to make sure the holes they put in you stay the same size they are. So if they get pulled out you don’t get seriously damaged, you just call them up and say yo can you put this shit back in me pls. There will also be little meat chunks coming through your tubes with your soup and the soup will be mildly funky smelling. That’s normal. I was told to tell them if there was like CRAZY amounts of meat or if the soup smelled absolutely nasty. Also the bolster things they put on your nips are attached directly to your nips and nothing else, so if you feel shit sliding around under your bandage, that’s the bandage sliding, not the bolsters. They didn’t tell me that so I thought I was gonna wake up with one on my back or something and not be able to put it back where it was. And they make it so it’ll be nice and slippery in there the whole time so don’t worry about the bolsters getting ripped off, there’s not enough friction in there to do that.

There was also the hydrocodone they gave me. For me, the incisions didn’t hardly hurt at all even immediately after surgery but they prescribed me hydrocodone so I took it, and I assumed I wasn’t hurting because of the drugs and that if I stopped taking them I would hurt a LOT. So here I am taking opioids and I’m so fucking dizzy and I’m violently throwing up for two days. I texted my doctor and begged to stop taking it because I thought I would get in trouble or something if I stopped without asking and she’s like “Yeah, you didn’t have to take it if you didn’t want to, its just there if you need something stronger” ohhhhhhhh well fuck me I guess. So I stopped taking it and it turns out I didn’t need pain meds at all because it barely hurts, it just feels like a really long paper cut.

Some other things, I popped a stitch in my armpit because when you first come home and your shits still all numbed up, you can’t feel it when you overstretch your arm so if you forget you’re not supposed to do that, you can pop a stitch. It got infected, I put some antibiotic on it, it took a long time to heal and it made the scar a little uglier but it didn’t cause anything crazy. I will say that my incisions go up into my armpits really far and it was real hard to keep them clean on account of all the sweat. My nipple grafts also had many tiny, shallow stitches and I thought “What if they fall out because they’re so shallow”. That’s normal. My dad said that’s how you do stitches for sensitive areas so they look pretty, and they do look pretty, and also they are supposed to fall out after a couple weeks, that is also normal. Just make sure they don’t fall out too soon I guess. Pretend you’re made of glass for the first 4 weeks, honestly.

Also, your nip has the little oil glands in it, right, and when you’re nip scabs over as it is supposed to, it will scab inside these oil pores and you’ll lose the whole rest of the scab and have these little leftover scraps, and you Must. Not. Pick them. Those pores in my nips are little craters now because I picked the scabs out of them. Every scab you pull off, even the ones that are thin and tiny and already hanging halfway off, is going to make your nip even uglier. You wont die but you will say “Ugh why did it do that”.

Also, my nip hole collects nasty shit in it that I have to clean out all the time and since I can’t feel anything in there I have the be VERY careful. Skin is actually very easy to puncture. And there’s like little caverns in there that also get stuff in them a lot so I still put antibiotic on my nips after I shower just in case? Not really sure if its infection or like dead skin… its been getting better over time at least. Sorry if that’s TMI but listen, somebody’s gotta talk about it.

Sometimes my scars, the main incisions, will get these little blackheads right in the middle of them or little pockets of infection, and I always pick at them and the scar tissue isn’t very strong so when you pick at things on your scar, you will break open all the blood vessels around it and have a big red spot and the scar tissue is such that you will not get the blackhead out anyway so just dont do that. Put some antibiotic on it. Honestly just put antibiotic on anything that looks sus. Antibiotic can solve anything.

Okay idk what else to say so end post goodbye.

[nehswritesstuffs]

Sanji, Warrior of the Sea

So, um, my husband very specifically asked for this fic so everybody pls thank Mr. Nehs; this is very silly; things don’t happen in here precisely as in the series canon, but what do I care?; essentially rated T but with a bunch of strong cussing (and that bathhouse scene) so be warned I guess; no shipping unless you put goggles on idc

Sanji, fresh out of Whole Cake Island, decides to make good of a shit situation and have Franky tinker with his raid suit. He just didn't take one thing into account: NERDS. [3696 words]

The weight of the canister was heavy in Sanji’s hand as he removed it from his inner jacket pocket. He and the rest of the crew were headed towards Wano, where the advance party was already in place. Leaning against the railing of the Sunny, he was tempted to chuck the thing as far as he could and forget about it, leaving the device to the briny depths of the ocean. It was only just barely slipped to him by Reiju, her ability for sleight of hand almost nostalgic.

“Use it better than we ever did,” she had whispered, and then had been gone. Now he was leagues upon leagues away, with little instruction on how or why.

He might have been his mother’s son, but as he held the device he thought of his father and what he would say. The geezer would cuss and kick him with the peg, most likely, but would also tell him to figure out a way to use it better than those sacks of skin that called themselves his family. Beat them at their own game and all that shit. He weighed his options: use it, shove it deep in his locker, or fucking yeet the piece of garbage as far as he could, use Moonwalk to catch it, and then throw it again for maximum coverage.

Then again, when he boiled it down, there was one more option that he needed to consider…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You want me to what?” Franosuke slurped up soba as he looked at the device in Sangoro’s hand. It didn’t look like much, but from what the cook was implying, it was honestly one of the highest-tech pieces of equipment either of them had ever touched, which was impressive given the present company.

“See what you can do about making this thing… better,” Sangoro said. “I got it from my sister—Father thought he knew best and made one for each of us.”

“…even though you hate him?”

“He was hoping that I’d… come around one day.” Franosuke scoffed at that. “You get what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, yeah; I get you, brother,” Franosuke chuckled. He held out his hand and Sangoro handed over the device. “Usohachi and I are supposed to be hanging out tonight to work on some other projects, so I think we can fit this in.”

“Thanks; I owe you one,” Sangoro said. “Burgers might be a stretch, but I think I can manage some steak if you want.”

“Nah… I’ll take a rain check on that. Too busy this week.” Franosuke pocketed the device and went back to his soba. “This is good eatin’ though. Wouldn’t mind maybe an extra serving of this.”

Eh; he’d think about it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Sanji kicked the dinosaur in the face, hard. Who the fuck was this guy, thinking he could just destroy people’s lives just because he was searching for him? He hated assholes like this, acting like nothing they ever did came with consequence, and he’d had enough. Taking the canister out of his kimono sleeve, he activated it, knowing that although he could take the asshole without it, he was going to need some seriously big guns to stop him before anyone else got hurt in the middle of the sleeping city.

Out of the canister came a costume, which wrapped around his body with precision accuracy. Sanji could feel that the fabrics were different from what his sperm donor had engineered and he was put more at-ease because of it. The raid suit finished forming and he felt damn good, like he was taking everything those bastards worked for and was pissing and ashing on it simultaneously. His opponent scoffed, however, or at least as much as a spinosaur could.

“Are you mocking me?!” he growled. “Real men don’t use a fight to play dress-up.”

“That’s selling it short,” Sanji smirked. He pressed his fingertips to the side of the helmet, activating the sensors. Varied readouts and stats flashed across the visor—bingo.

Using Moonwalk, Sanji bounced around in the air, confusing the shit-mannered mook until he was able to find an opening. Once he saw it, he acted swiftly, slamming a flaming foot into the back of the dinosaur’s neck. His opponent was knocked out cold without him damaging any other buildings.

“That’ll teach you,” he smirked. He watched as the spinosaur shrank down to a Human shape. Tch; asshole had no right to challenge him. It was then, however, that Sanji heard a surprised gasp. He turned around and saw… Traffy…?

“Holy shit,” Traffy marveled. “It’s Sora!” Sanji cringed at the sound of his mother’s name—what the fuck?!

“I’m no one!” he claimed. “Just… uh… just passing through!” Traffy replaced himself with a pebble and got directly within Sanji’s personal bubble, touching his cape and admiring his clothes.

“The attention to detail is absolutely exquisite,” he said. “Excellent craftsmanship; they spared no expense.”

“Get off me,” Sanji grumbled. Where the fuck was Traffy when the dino-jerk attacked? Way to have shit timing. He pulled the cloak out of Law’s hand and sneered. “Don’t touch the goods.”

“Uh… yes, sir,” Traffy mumbled. Sanji did not like the way his captain’s ally was looking at him, so he took one step back, found where the settings were, and… oh, thank fuck, Franky kept it. He turned on the cloaking device, essentially granting him invisibility, hoping it would allow for a quick getaway.

Trafalgar Law instead squealed like little kid…? Oh, he did not have enough smokes on-hand to unpack that.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Okay, granted, Sanji knew that sliding into the mixed baths was going to be trouble. He was likely to see way too much man peen for his liking, not to mention be in a position to get caught, but it was worth it to spy on wome—ahem—test the limits of his raid suit. Opportunities like this were becoming fewer and farther between as everyone prepared for the upcoming raid on Onigashima, and he needed to know exactly what the thing could do before throwing himself headlong into battle.

It was practical, okay? Field testing. Tactical information gathering.

Oh, there were a lot of women in the bathhouse that afternoon that made his heart race and the front of his pants feel tight. He swallowed hard as he watched them all from his perch in the rafters, above where others might see his invisible form displacing steam. The desire to palm himself was almost unbearable—this was definitely good… erm… data he was collecting.

Usopp was going to shit bricks when he told him what this thing could do.

Then, suddenly, he saw her come out of the changing room: Nami. All others seemed to fade into nothingness as he drank in the beauty of her in a towel. She was gorgeous, as always, with her silky skin and curvaceous body. A paragon amongst goddesses, she was, and it was enough for him to cave. He put his gloved hand on the front of his crotch and felt how hard his cock was underneath it all. Beloved Nami-swan, who graciously allowed the world to merely glimpse a tiny fraction of her beauty, was right here for all to see, and she was only in a towel.

Sanji stayed where he was for a moment while Nami was attempting to lay low, which was near-impossible thanks to all the looks she was getting. The local ladies loved her—fine by him—but… wait a second?! What were those men doing leering at her?! How dare they! He was certain that they couldn’t appreciate Nami like was right and proper! What did they know about a woman’s form? There was no way these men knew what he, a true connoisseur, did after all! He was so incensed by their unrefined palates that he nearly did not notice the new person walk in: Hawkins.

Shit; he was looking for people with the reverse crescent moon tattoo. A bathhouse was the perfect place to look for such a thing, wasn’t it? Oh no, what was he going to do?! He couldn’t give away his position, but Nami might be in danger. Well, she was strong and could take care of herself, but did she have her Climatact tucked away under the towel? What about the other women? He didn’t trust these losers to protect them, not to mention the fact that Nami shouldn’t have to protect herself unless there wasn’t a man like him around! Shit, shit shit… how was he going to explain this…? His infidelity to Nami’s beauty…?

Then it happened.

Like a shimmering light shining forth in the darkness!

A beacon of hope for all those who felt lost!

The pinnacle of the feminine form!

Nami-swan dropped her towel!

Maximum full-frontal!!

Sanji couldn’t take it any longer! Oh, the unfettered beauty! The pristine curves! The raw, natural majesty! He blacked for a moment, for the next thing he knew he was covered in blood down his front and everyone was staring at him.

Oh shit.

“Drake…” Hawkins said, his voice cracking high. He didn’t pull his eyes off Sanji despite the fact he was trying to gesture and grab at the same time with the arm closest to the door. “Drake, it’s him!”

“Did you find a suspect?” asked a voice from the foyer. X Drake… oh, the last thing he needed was another dinosaur idiot to deal with. Drake stepped into the bath area and glared at Hawkins, though once he saw Nami he froze in place, eyes wide and face red in blush. “That’s not a suspect, is it?”

“Not her, you idiot!” Hawkins hissed. “It’s Sora!” There was that name again! It was really beginning to grate on Sanji’s nerves, but he guessed he could handle it if it meant that Hawkins and Drake were distracted enough to let the people who were escaping… well… escape. Hawkins side-shuffled over to Drake and touched the other man’s face, turning it towards Sanji.

When Drake’s eyes finally followed his face, his jaw flopped open.

“It’s Sora, Warrior of the Sea!” Drake gasped. “That’s his vintage uniform from the Jutrich Island Saga!”

“Specifically his landing in Kester,” Hawkins agreed. By now, Sanji was on his feet and feeling incredibly awkward—what the fuck were they talking about? “He is more dashing in person, isn’t he?”

“That’s… not the word I’d use.”

“That is because you have no taste.”

“What in the hell are you two talking about?” Sanji scoffed. He activated the readouts on his visor again and they showed that the three of them were quickly becoming the only ones in the building—excellent.

“Surely you jest,” Hawkins said, trying to sound casual. “That uniform? The cape? Helmet? You are none other than Sora, Warrior of the Sea, taken straight from the comic pages.”

…comic pages?!

“Neither of you have known the touch of a woman, have you?” Sanji deadpanned.

“Like you’re one to talk!” Nami snapped. Sanji glanced over towards her and saw that a robe was now covering her as she scrambled to leave with, wait, Robin-chan was there too?! Oh, and they were there with Shinobu. He needed to make sure they got out safely, but with the way these two were… seas… ogling him, he wasn’t sure that they’d get out of there if he moved even an inch. “Keep them distracted! We’ll meet you later!”

“Nami-swan, I…!” Sanji reached out with his hand, but he was too late… she was gone. He let his hand clench into a fist and turned towards Hawkins and Drake, who both seemed too star-struck to care that potential captives were fleeing the scene. “You two made me lose my chance with Nami-swan!”

“I didn’t think he’d be based off a real person,” Drake marveled. He looked… deeply confused, but also like he wanted to screech happily like a little kid that just found a frog.

“You need to answer us something,” Hawkins said. He somehow narrowed his eyes further. “Something only the real Sora would know: how did you escape from Germa 66’s clutches in the Gezelligate Arc?”

Sanji was ready to murder something.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Law stood in the prison corridor, Drake not too far away, as he waited impaitently. He didn’t like doing it this way—neither did the dinosaur, it seemed—but at least it was doable. It could fit in his grand plan. Not very well, but it fit.

“Here you are,” Hawkins announced from around the corner. Law’s ears perked up and he watched as the aforementioned Supernova led Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo into view, all three of his crewmates half-in tears.

“We’re sorry, Captain!” Bepo sniffled. “We didn’t mean to get caught!”

“No worries,” he replied coolly. “I know something they don’t realize.

“What’s that?” Penguin wondered. Law simply smirked and opened a Room.

“The famed Warrior of the Sea is on our side.”

Before his crewmates had a chance to react, Law swapped them out with pebbles and dropped the Room. He held up his arms in surrender, unable to not laugh at the look of horror on Hawkins’s face.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t think I knew?” He felt Drake put seastone cuffs on him from behind, jostling him roughly. “Hey, watch the goods—I need those hands to perform surgery.”

“Like you have a medical degree,” Drake grumbled.

“…and for all I know, you’re probably still a cop,” Law scoffed. For that, Drake pushed him towards Hawkins, letting their prisoner stumble into the dirt floor. “Hit a nerve?”

“You know what? I don’t even care anymore.” Drake took a step back before turning to walk away. “Do whatever hoodoo nonsense you want to him. I’m washing my hands of it.”

“Hoodoo is a completely different discipline,” Hawkins droned, “but I’ll try.” He snapped his fingers and two Pleasures guards came by to lift Law from the floor and drag him off to a torture cell. “I’ll make him regret invoking the name of Sora.”

Law chuckled to himself as the mooks dragged him away. These two losers were in for it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Okay, mooks taken out and transported to varied Flower Capitol alleyways, check. Hawkins—aka: Senior Mook—unconscious and bleeding out on the floor, check. His sword and hat back—check. Information he pried out of Senior Mook before allowing him to pass out. Check and noted. Law was feeling good as he got ready to leave the prison house. Just a few more moment of checking out the outlying areas with his Devil Fruit and he could accurately pinpoint a safe getaway. He stepped out into the corridor and began to walk out—he was a free man, after all.

“Trafalgar.” Oh, yeah, there was one more that he didn’t get rid of, though to be honest, it felt like an afterthought. He turned and saw Drake standing there, staring at him with an… well, the look eas cryptic, that was for certain.

“You’re not stopping me,” Law said casually. “I’m finding a place to go as we speak.”

“Then before you leave, I have a request,” Drake said. Law raised an eyebrow.

“What’s a not-cop want from a humble pirate like myself?”

“Do you think…” Drake blushed, not believing he was saying this. “I mean… could you get me an autograph from Sora?”

“We’re on different sides… you know that, right?”

“All my time I was in the Navy, he was their best-kept secret. To get an autograph from one of the best special ops agent? Whose solo work inspired all of us? It might get you a favor or two.”

“Hmm… I’ll think about it.”

In a flash, the man vanished and an upset tomcat appeared in his place.

Well, it was worth a shot.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“What the fuck did you do to this thing?!” Sanji hissed, shoving his raid suit in Franky’s face. The cyborg simply scoffed and kept on eating.

“I improved it—made it super—just like you asked, brother,” he replied. It was the night before they were to raid Onigashima and all he wanted was some relaxation time before putting his nose to the grindstone. The surrounding area was a mishmash collection of their crew and varied allies, whether reluctant or not, the vast majority not paying attention to them. “I don’t know why you’re so pissed off.”

“I’m pissed off because I keep on running into weirdos and creeps who think I look like a comic book character!” Sanji complained. “Did you design it to look like something else, or did you use an original design?!”

“It’s just a little thing I remember from when I was a kid,” Franky shrugged. “Every so often in Water 7 we’d get these collection books of this super comic where a guy with a robot and pet seagull would fight bad guys. Only ever got a couple of books—flat broke compared with only ever seeing random volumes. Probably wasn’t something that did too well.”

“It did well enough that three different people have called me by the exact same name,” Sanji scowled. “What was the name of the comic?”

“I dunno—Sorne… Sorley… Sohan… Solly…” Franky snapped his fingers between each name as he tried to remember. “…Sorrel… Soslan… Sota… Sora…”

“That’s it!” Sanji shouted, pointing at Franky. Ooohhhhh… he couldn’t believe this was happening! “That’s what those nutjobs keep calling me!”

“Sora…?” A moment, then it clicked. “Oh yeah, that’s right! Sora, Warrior of the Sea! Kind of a weird series if you ask me. Total Naval propaganda. Then again, I was only really there for the robot…”

Sanji screamed in anguish and began to storm away, stomping his feet angrily as he went off to have an entire packet of smokes at once. He slammed his shoulder into Law on his way, which caused the other to stop and glare—what the hell…?

“What’s the matter with him?” he asked Franky. The cyborg simply shrugged.

“No whimsy,” he claimed. “Meanwhile, I’m full of it this week.”

Law simply shrugged and walked off—not his crew, not his problem.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was the Raid on Onigashima. Sanji was attempting to hold his own against the throng of solders that were coming at him. Okay, so he wasn’t attempting so much as succeeding, but it was beginning to wear on his nerves that each time he knocked one of the Beast Pirate freaks down, five more popped up in their place. It was like there was a never-ending sea of them waking up and he smelled like breakfast.

Suddenly, over the din of the battle, Sanji heard a familiar scream. He looked up and saw that Kaidou was up on a balcony, holding Momonosuke over the drop that would have the boy splatter on the Performance Floor. As much as he wanted to trust that Momonosuke could turn into a dragon and fly away once let go, he also didn’t trust that Kaidou or any of his goons had gone and put seastone on—let alone in—the kid.

Shit. No matter what, this wasn’t going to be good. He could let the perverted little shrimp fall to his potential doom, but… Nami would be really pissed at him for letting that happen, wouldn’t she? Not to mention Luffy. Damn it. Sanji decided to break out the big guns and put on his raid suit, immediately cloaking himself in invisibility. The Beast Pirates he had been fighting all stared in confusion—there had been someone there before, wasn’t there?

As Sanji catapulted himself up into the air with Moonwalk, Kaidou did precisely what Sanji thought he would and dropped Momonosuke. Lucky, he was able to snatch the kid after he fell only a few feet, bringing him back up to Kaidou’s level while still invisible.

“What the fuck is this?” Kaidou slurred. He grabbed a large bottle of sake from a nearby Beast Pirate and took a swig—he clearly didn’t know if he was too drunk or not drunk enough. “I didn’t think little piss-brats like you could fly.”

“Who has hold of me?!” Momonosuke whispered in a panic. He grabbed hold of Sanji’s cape and attempted to pull it around himself. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Sanji grumbled. Someone unseen threw a rock, meaning to hit Momonosuke but hitting Sanji in the side of his helmet instead. His cloaking device sparked before fizzling out—it overloaded and needed some time to reactivate.

“Who the fuck are you?” Kaidou frowned. He did not seem like he was very amused by the whole thing.

“Hey, I know that tech,” Queen realized. “You’re one of Judge’s brats, aren’t you?”

“Wrong: I’m Sora’s boy,” Sanji spat. Without another word, he turned on his heel mid-air and jettisoned himself towards the Performance Floor. There, he was able to spot a trio of Traffy’s men—the Mink and two of the ones with dumb hats—and he tossed Momonosuke at them. “Keep him safe until someone approved comes to get him, alright?”

“Yes, sir, Sora, sir!” Penguin said as he picked up Momonosuke. Shachi saluted. Fuck… more of them…

“Uh… guys…” Bepo seemed to be uncomfortable. “That’s just one of the Straw Hats…”

“Bepo, Bepo, Bepo…” Shachi tutted. “Here we thought we raised you right! The Captain said it’s Sora, so it has to be Sora!”

“…but that’s clearly…”

“Sora!” Stupid One and Stupid Two said in unison. Sanji honestly felt ready to kill them both, Traffy and the alliance be damned. At least the Mink was able to use his brain…

“There he is!” Sanji looked over his shoulder and saw Law, Hawkins, and Drake all running towards him. Shit! He turned his attention towards the Mink and nodded gravely.

“All of you are from the same place, aren’t you?”

“The North Blue, yeah,” Bepo said, “but I’m originally from Zou.”

“Then I thank you for your service,” Sanji replied. The Mink seemed puzzled, only to yelp in surprise as Sanji picked him up and tossed him at the three incoming Supernovas before running away.

Goddamned nerds needed to leave him the fuck alone!