#YURI SEX DOESNT LEAVE MY MIND

[mothinabottle]

Imagine. Imagine a new ritual in-game where the temple tries to convert a demon PC back to a normal human again. Like some type of shit involving a high rank temple member cumming inside PC 7 times (Because 7 is the holy number supposedly? Jajsjajsja)—Preferably Jordan

Spoiler: It doesn't fucking work. This is just an excuse to have porn with plot, ok??? I am at my wit's end cuz I haven't been able to draw Jordan in a GOOD while and I just need them???

I NEED YURI SEX, YAOI SEX, WHATEVER THE FUCK IS AVAILABLE WITH JORDAN 😭

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

nart ships: a (very long winding tangent-ed) summary

danzen: hiruzen and danzo. they are not officially together and they never will be because of the nationalism. hiruzen is selfish and doesn't want danzo to die because he loves him. he would much rather sacrifice himself for his sake so that he doesnt have to live with the aftermath of losing him. classic hiruzen trait!!!! doesnt make moves because he also loves inaction. danzo is selfless to a fault and also applies this selflessness to everyone else whether they like it or not. the ends justify the means!!! (he has forgotten what the ends were). he doesnt make moves because of the catholic guilt. they pine after each other silently and occasionally send assassins after each other and then feel bad about the indulgence. fascinating.

the kakashi polycule: kakashi is a sex-repulsed gay demiromantic but he feels most comfortable not referring to his relationships in romantic terms regardless of whether or not the involved parties reciprocate romantic feelings. qprs for life baby!!! obito gai iruka and zabuza are usually my go-tos. all of them are desperately in love with him (the sad wet horse appeal. you know how it is.) but through sheer proximity they also get entangled with each other. mostly sexually. every single possible combination is terrible and everyone is aware of this and it is funny as hell. gai cant remember anyone but kakashis name but he objectively the best one in bed so thats just something they all have to live with. iruka wants to leave but he never does. he never leaves. he has no one but himself to blame.

tenzo: hes transmasc hes so transmasc and he's also gay and demiromantic and asexual. but i think he's pretty sex-positive and doesnt mind participating, even if he doesnt really get anything out of it. he and kakashi are also in a qpr but tenzo is not touching the rest of the polycule with a ten foot pole <3

minakushi: saw a post last week suggesting transfem 4 transfem minakushi and ive been obsessing over it ever since. the vibes are impeccable. war criminal no thoughts head empty minato and girlboss lying to herself to get through the week kushina and they were BOTH GIRLS???? that being said im also a big fan of malewife minato so idk. i go back and forth. any way you spin it kushina HAS to be transfem though i just. need her to be. these guys are one of the healthiest couples in the series i think. which says a lot.

kagurin: KAGURIN KAGURIN MY BELOVEDS!!!!! kind of like narumitsu except rin is literally nothing like edgeworth its just that kaguya has that "i can fix her" vibe that phoenix has (she is just as bad). absolutely impeccable. they have the symbolism. they have the chemistry. toxic yuri forever!!!! rin is aro but in denial and so she Decides to fall in love with kaguya because Moon Lady you know and kaguya tries to fix her and then they both die after a week because they are trying to destroy the world at the same time <3 women <3

tsunade: aroace romance repulsed sex repulsed touch adverse QUEEN!!! she and orochimaru meet up to bitch about everyone else's drama. (orochimaru is allo its just that he doesnt date because no one meets his standards.)

poly team 7: i will die on this hill. all of them are bi and they have a beautiful toxic codependent relationship <3 sakura and ino have flings every once and a while, same with naruto and gaara. the good ending in my head is the one where the three of them run off into the hills to live on a little farm as civilians after the war arc. the canon arc where they trudge back to konoha to drown in bureaucracy as they slowly drift apart from each other and the vision of a better world they once shared is kind of fun too except for the fact that thats DEFINITELY not the intend reading

rock lee: he is the perfect man. i believe he is straight as a ruler and the best guy you could possibly meet and incredibly unlucky. every girl he dates for longer than a week finds out that shes a lesbian. he has an army of lesbian best friends. eventually he had to result to mitosis to produce offspring. this is the only thing i know about boruto canon.

ankrin: yes rin gets two ships this is because she is my favorite. anko and rin happens in the timeline where she is the sole team minato member to stay in konoha and they meet and bond under orochimaru's tutelage. he ends up becoming hokage after minato is drawn and quartered by iwa for his crimes (<3) and they just kind of chill. both of them are aro and lesbians so this arrangement is GREAT for both of them. friends with benefits type of thing i think.

kisita: kisame is a mom friend. that being said i do not think he enjoys mothering itachi all that much. itachi is the exception to the worrying. kisame does it anyways. fascinating relationship. closer to that of a plant that produces flowers to attract an extinct species of bee and the fruit fly that has not adapted to co-exist with the plant but keeps it alive anyways than anything romantic i think.