#The two normal couple in the back
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*gross kissing sounds*
#hellsing ultimate#hellsing integra#hellsing alucard#hellsing fanart#hellsing organization#my artwork#hellsing#seras hellsing#seras victoria#pip bernadotte#SerasXPip#Carelsswhisper#The two normal couple in the back#sir integra#Seras and Pip slurpin eachother
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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6000+ years, together
#good omens#good omens s2#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#good omens fanart#fanart#yall never guess my favorites#this could be the most annoyingly LONG post in history but i decided to be mildly normal about it#i was eating the new seasons hair so much#crowley has a more red-red tone and curls it back#aziraphale is the same but he is perfect so i love him and his WHITE hair ...it was whiter tho but it could be more the lightning on set#i'm still missing some.... if we get s3 i might add them#a group of two is a - couple -Crowley called them a couple in the most non-commitment way possible im crying
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Very rushed value practice before I sleep!! They are vibin'
#I feel like my lack of understanding of contrast/value holds my work back a lot#If time allows there'll probably be more pieces similar to this in the future as I learn and practice more#I like to think that freenoodles is the kind of couple that is very casual#Like date wise they don't need to go to some fancy restaurant or go on a special all day trip or anything#They just hang out and enjoy the other's company#I like to think that their version of dates are just finding a quiet comfortable place and then talking all day long#+picnics or “romantic” dinners together#(pigsy cooks a majority of if not all the food)#(they call them romantic but it's literally just like a normal dinner except it's just the two of them and maybe there's a candle lit)#They're just very chill and domestic in my head idk#freenoodleshipping#lmk freenoodles#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#Zaacoy art💫
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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sorry for houseposting do you still think i'm hot
#i have more to say#like how in ep 4 they introduce a lesbian couple just to have someone's baby to kill#hatecrimes really atarted early huh#but i will spare you more thoughts. for today. my headache finally has gotten Bad#i hope i wake up tomorrow and this madness with me gone. unlikely tho bc when have i ever been normal about this series#house md#no sorry back to these tags to talk some more#i think watching things almost exclusively with friends for the last two years spoiled me#now i can't watch anything without running my mouth#whom wanna take one for the team and spend their weekend marathoning hatecrimes and malpractice the tv show with me
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question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?
#i'm trying to figure out which doctor appointments I want to bother making and spending money about for potentially no return on investment#and right now i'm trying to figure out if I'd get way more practical help from a dietician or if I need to suck it up and find a#not-elderly not-male not-dismissive GI doctor first and THEN see a dietician#although I cannot afford a bunch of tests#so like???#trying to figure out if a dietician would be more helpful overall with me not HAVING any GI diagnoses or eating disorders#and just really struggling with food in both sensory ways and unpredictable digestion ways that don't correlate with food allergies#god i sometimes wish i had food allergies so i could have some predictability#but yeah. i'm leaning towards dietician but figured i should crowdsource experiences#since I know a lot of you have health issues you've also been trying to manage for years and probably have good advice#if it helps i'm also in a major city now and have a decent-but-not-great health insurance plan so I'm good on those two fronts#to do#health#I know a dietician can't diagnose anything but I'd love help figuring out how to get maximum nutrition even when i can barely eat anything#or when my body decides to start getting sick from or (tw emetophobia) puking up fiber or fatty foods#which thankfully isn't often#now that I do cannabis daily in microdosing I have so much less pain and bloating and nausea#but when it hits it HITS#and the last time I tried going without cannabis for a couple days and then eating a fiber muffin I was sick six times in one morning#and didn't get my normal eating ability back until dinnertime#luckily that's not normal for me#but my issues bounce up and down so much#and I lose weight so fast whenever my appetite goes from 'barely ever there' to 'negatively nonexistent'#and I had like. two months last year where I think i reached my body's natural healthy set weight#and i needed so much food but it felt so good energy wise and temperature wise#and i'd like to STAY THERE FFS#and I feel like a dietician would be helpful for making meal options for good#*good and hard and nuclear alert level eating difficulty times#anyway. crowdsourcing. yay!
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The Great Gatsby (1974) au where Gatsby doesn't die and instead Nick takes on the no-paying job of trying to get Jay to move on from Daisy.
Bad ending is Gatsby never does & he and the Buchanans become a never-ending shitshow. Good ending is Jay moves on. Super special bonus ending is Jay and Nick fall in love (toxicity optional)
#I specified the movie because I havent read the book so idk Book Nick or Book Jay I havent met them#the great gatsby#the great gatsby 1974#the great gatsby (1974)#My favorite idea is a mix of the Good and Super Special Bonus endings#Where Gatsby moves on and spends a good few years learning to be a normal fucking human being#(ft Nick being a supportive friend (but also getting back to being normal after his summer of bullshit))#(and Jay figuring out how to have normal fucking relationships means he visits his dad in person more often :'3 )#anyway after 5 years or so Jay falls in love with Nick in a way that is Healthy and Not Obsessive#and the two of them become a Normal Healthy couple#which is of course difficult because. time period#but I like to imagine that Jay's dad is happy about it :']#also. assuming Jay doesnt go to jail for Crime. he's got enough money to basically deal with any problem#(if i had a nickel for every time i shipped a blond x brown-hair gay couple from the Great Depression i'd have two nickels)#(which isnt many but it's strange it's happened twice)#Also yeah I know this au of mine is Boring. dw I don't think toxic romance stories are Horrible or that fiction has model ideal behavior#I just personally find joy in imagining mundane healing stories :'))#jay gatsby#nick carraway#my words
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I went into bg3 fully ready to have a good time and have done so despite many ways in which the game is not good and have not worried too much over various dramas about patch changes but my chill streak has finally ended and I am wailing gnashing my teeth etc. about patch 7 (the supposedly final one with story/content changes) not adding companion reactivity for any of the durge content in act 2
#gotta regain my chill about this. it doesn't change the good version of bg3 that exists in my head#but like. durge is literally the protagonist character. and a huge chunk of story is just bizarrely missing from act two#all the baddies recognize you and no one reacts#warden says you were an important guest no one reacts#kressa says she had a great time torturing you for weeks no one reacts#and it's so misaligned with companion reactivity for everything else. like#I am one of those players who goes around the camp circle talking to every single companion after anything even mildly important happens#to hear the couple of lines of dialogue they have about it#because they've got a couple of lines of dialogue about every plot development and significant moment in other companion storylines!#but they don't have a single word for enormous central plotline revelations about the player character#it makes the act 3 reactions bizarre too because everyone's shocked by what gortash says and it's like#literally everyone in moonrise was like 'oh hey it's you again' what did you THINK 😭#a lot of people complain about the resist!durge final scene after killing orin being lackluster#and yeah sure I feel it's lacking in a few ways but like. at least it exists.#a cutscene does play and afterwards the companions do react. ymmv on whether those reactions are impactful or fitting#but they do--crucially--exist#whereas in act 2 there is straight up nothing#when people say right in front of the companions 'hello fellow villain fancy seeing you back here again'#there is not even so much as a 'dude are you okay' after kressa talks about keeping durge prisoner and torturing them#okay okay it's fine I'm getting it out of my system I'm gonna be normal about this again#the companions had reactions in the good version that exists in my head 😔#scribblingface plays bg3#okay actually also like larian has made so many changes based on fans complaining a lot about something#often changes that made the complaining people happy but pissed off everyone who already liked the current version#not weighing in on the merit of various specifics but it has struck me as a sometimes odd and unwise degree of#listening to what the players want. like just tell your story and accept that some parts won't please everyone#but THIS THING is universally agreed on by every durge player#because it's not something 'wrong' it's something completely absent that should have been there in order to align with the rest of the game#and yet. we don't get this change in the final update.
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the passage of time is so fucked. felix is brand spanking new what the hell do you mean that was two years ago
#over two years of Being So Normal about an OC with NO CONTENT#[softly and with feeling] what the fuck...#god also I was going through old art to link back to a couple relevant drawings in those doodles about melliwyk's parents#and that plotline has ALSO been cooking for like three fucking real human years#entire campaigns have begun and ended in that span#dnd for us is honestly so fucking weird#it's so hard to get schedules lining up that I'm in multiple campaigns that are ~two-year campaigns with a standard Weekly Session#but thanks to inconsistent and sparse game nights have instead been running for like......... closing on a decade.........#it's. weird. it fucks the flow as they say. it's also making me increasingly existential tbqh :')#about me#my OCs#felix
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Anyway, I have a Strahd/Ireena playlist 👉👈
#I also made other playlists from the arcana but this is definitely the longest one I made#tehee I'm normal about them#Vampire from Ireena's pov and Fairytale from Strahd's are always OOF#I also had to remove a couple of songs because they were spoilery for my players but hopefully I'll be able to put them back soon#strahdeena#still not sure what ship name to use for these two so I'll just go with this one#curse of strahd#strahd von zarovich#ireena kolyana#Spotify
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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The way my father and aunt are both religious but in a total opposite way is insane
#its very easy to not know or to forget my father is catholic#you cannot not see how catholic my aunt is#there are crosses everywhere in her house its insane#not in a bad way im just amazed two people raised by the same parents and who dont have a big age gap have so different view on religiob#*religion#also my dad believes in evolution while last year i had to be confronted facetoface with my aunt with the fact she doesnt believe we and#chimpanzees are cousin species#bc you know. adam and eve god created us perfectly theres no way we're cousins with monkeys and all#it had been.. surprising and totally unexpected#also my own cousin has voiced the fact she finds interracial couples and gay couples disgusting and not normal so yay /sarc#how can my dad and aunt think so differently. what the actual f#my dad isnt the best but hes decent and is a great & kind man above all. my aunt is nice too but wtf is going on with my cousin#going back on the first topic: my dad rarely goes to church meanwhile my aunt goes every week and learnt to play organ she's very active in#church life - again just stating how my dad and aunt are different. not judging it just surprises me
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i feel like yall should know every time any of u rb my art with nice tags i literally have to stop whatever i was doing to go pace around a room for like two full minutes because I get so overwhelmed by the kindness SHSHDKSL
#genuinely two full minutes. its so silly but i am not used to ppl being so cool abt the things i make sjdjsksl#i rarely show my art and I haven't had a lot of support for it ever so any time anyone says anything nice abt it i get so overwhelmed /pos#me pacing up and down my hallway just bc someone says smth nice to me: more likely than you think! SBSJDKSL#ITS SO FUNNY TO ME THOUGH DJDKSL I LAUGH AT MYSELF ABT THIS#like. ''kind comment'' stands up. walks in circles/back and forth for a couple mins. sits back down. returns to normal.#SHJDSKLS FUCKIN GOOFY#dandy.cmd
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