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#and yet I feel so…. distant from him
whenthegoldrays · 4 months
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now ​I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months
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I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.
Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.
Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents
#TVD#The Mikaelsons#Kol Mikaelson#Klaus Mikaelson#briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs#i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep#need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy#anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys#klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse#kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse#kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too#that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see#that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers#it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic#that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea#to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael#the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon#klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him#and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother#*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons#as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm
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diodellet · 8 months
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Hello, I saw your valentines post and thought I might join in
I'd really like prompt 3, the one with the dream if them , and Azul from twst
He's my fav of the twst cast and a comfort character (❁´◡`❁)
my pronouns are they/them/he/him, so do whatever you like with that info
maybe it's just me, but in a dream someone would have to do something cute and/or sweet in it to get me flustered and avoiding them (lol I'm weak to fluff but not really spice)
Anyways, I hope you have a lovely day or night and I wish the best of luck to you!
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💌Azul Ashengrotto + Prompt #3 (Seeing them in your dreams, being too flustered to face them in real life.)
Dreams end at the most climactic moment. That is to say, right when the zombies catch you or as soon as you hit the ground. The same holds true for good dreams especially.
Which brings you to your current predicament. 
The details were fading away, all that remained burned into your mind were those final moments—a wistful piano instrumental filling the air, the feeling of your hand in his as he led you in a slow dance, a lightness taking over your body as if you were floating, the steady heat of his palm against yours lingering even after you’ve woken up.
Of course, to be further spited by fate, the both of you are paired for a short research paper, carefully looking through the reference section of the library. Together.
“—if we could find more literature on—Hm? Is something the matter?” Azul looks up from the book he was skimming through.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’ve just got a few things on my mind.” You play it off with a wave of your hand.
He levels a concerned look at you. “Is our class representative overworking himself again?”
“N-no, not this time. It’s nothing, just some personal business.”
“If you say so, then. But if you need a listening ear, just know that I can make room in my schedule to assist you. It would be terrible if I let a dear colleague of mine carry such a burden, wouldn’t it?” There’s something about those words, or maybe his voice, that makes your stomach uneasy. 
There are some things you know about Azul Ashengrotto definitively. Anyone can spot his flair for showmanship. He’s busy, but also approachable. Maybe distant at times, but always polite.
(Not at all like the Azul in your dream. Not like the Azul of now.)
Scratch that point about distance, you didn’t get the memo that the both of you were close enough to be dear colleagues.
But here you are, on the receiving end of his complete and utter attention. It occurs to you now how little you truly know about Azul.
The ring of the bell cuts your conversation short, and you blurt out a flimsy excuse before rushing out and leaving him alone in the library.
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a/n: hiiii!! thanks for sending in a request and happy valentines day💕💕 i had a bit of challenge trying to pin down azul's chara because i kept thinking any sweet or tender gesture from him would first of all be off-putting to the target of his affection,,, and that kinda carried through in the writing,,, oops,,, these drabbles weren't meant to contain slowburn tension🤧🤧Either way this prompt was fun to write, i hope u enjoyed reading this💕💕
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ineed-to-sleep · 2 years
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Couple of little references I made for my prophet's design bc I love him a little too much
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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anotheruntitledsong · 6 months
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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hshouse · 2 years
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#taylor’s roll put#has me thinking sooooo much about H’s whole pr/brand/strategy#and my thoughts have been like falling into place#and it’s just very frustrating#to me bc her absolute MASTERY of building her brand#makes hshq’s mess#even more messy for me#there are MANY points to bring#but the one I am thinking tonight#is how she operates on an even bigger platform so she is one of the few ppl I think are proper to compare H to#and she shows how you can have absolutely crafted to the tee strategies where almost nothing is spontanous and everything is planned and $$#is front and center and YET feel personal and intimate and like she is our buddy and that we know her and she knows us and she likes us#the reason given for H’s distant persona is privacy but what this comparison shows is that you can get privacy without giving up warmth#harry on stage is such a drastic contrast to every other imput we have from him/his brand its kinda jarring#but it doesnt HAVE TO BE THIS WAY and he doesn’t need to sacrifice privacy to still craft a warmer closer persona. thats what I have been#thinking tonight. like I know 98% of you don’t follow or even like her. but trust ME when I say that being a fan of both its like oil#and water when it comes to how their public persona is. i genuinely feel like I know her. I DONT!! but thats what I feel. and I only feel li#I know H bc I am a super fan. but thats not what his brand portrays. also and this point is more nuanced so bear w me. there is an element#that comes from this brand of Cool and Private that i KNOW is completely inaccurate like I would put my hand on the fire over this but#hshq OFTEN puts out things or implies it that H is Cool and Different and would not like want to hang out w normal ppl that are not Cool#which one I don’t care if it is true and two I dont think it is true but its something that doesnt sit well w ppl. taylor has a persona that#seems like even tho she is a trillionaire she would still sit on your couch and drunk your grocery store wine and talk about dumb shit#this is largely because of ppl like fucking KID HARPOON who are into makinng harry seem like a weird etheral being and not just. a dude#but anyway. i think this is not great. and outside of this corner MANY ppl are fans of both like me. and this is v noticeable even if ppl#dont articulate it like this. and I think he is gonna have to pivot this strategy. i just hope they do it before ppl get more annoyed#and start being even meaner to him than they already are
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daydreamerdrew · 8 months
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The Avengers (1963) #29
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willowfey · 10 months
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tell me why i had a dream the other night that i had an affair with matty healy when i have not thought about that man for more than two minutes in my life
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youta · 2 years
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i pop in here once every month. hey everyoneee
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diabeticgirl4 · 2 years
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I find it very amusing (and idk how intentional it is) how distant percy seems to be from everyone? in the throne room battle he was literally hanging around outside while he waited his turns, and since his fighting style is long-distance and pretty independent he just kinda. waits his turn and does his thing during most battles (or in some cases spends his turn prepping while everyone else ko's the boss without him fsjldfjk). I thought of another specific example but forgot rip anyways in the current ep I'm listening to everyone's arguing over rescuing grog and/or healing vax, meanwhile percy's just "ok but let's sleep. I'm sleeping. gnight >:u" and idk I didn't initially peg him as the loner wolf guy at first, but he really is one huh
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I gotta say, it took me a bit to really get into Rune Factory 3 (in fact when I first got the game and tried it out I quit after like two hours and didn't touch it for a few months just because the gameplay was a bit janky and it was missing some quality-of-life stuff I was used to having in 4 and 5 and I got really frustrated), but on my second foray into the game it really sucked me in. I might even like the story and especially the romance aspect better than the other games.
I really appreciate that the romance is a forced part of the narrative; you literally can't access the final dungeon and beat the game until you pick a girl to marry. And BECAUSE of that, this game went hard on actually developing the girls and giving you ample time to spend with them. The request system basically functions as a "route" for each girl, and while I've only completed (9/9 one-time quests done) a few of them (Raven, Daria, Marian) I've really enjoyed everything thus far and felt the relationships develop from strangers to friends to love.
And unlike 4 and 5 where I have clear favorites in terms of who to marry, I honestly don't know who I'm going to pick yet. The only girls I'm NOT particularly interested in are Carmen, Colette, and Kuruna. All the other girls are great and I'd be happy to marry any of them, though I AM leaning towards Raven, Marian, or Sakuya (who I WOULD have completed already if not for some of her events being locked behind plot progression...).
#rune factory#rf3#i find it funny that my top contenders are raven and marian. who is about as polar opposite of her as possible#literally what is my type. i've never been able to nail it down.#i will say i typically DON'T care for raven's 'type' - the distant/aloof girl.#but i think the writing for her as a character and her relationship with micah is EXTREMELY SOLID#one of my favorite moments thus far was her request where we go to oddward valley to mine ore together#and gaius catches us and it's CLEAR that they don't actually need ore. she's using it as an excuse to hang out with micah.#and gaius knows this. and raven knows that gaius knows this. but like a true bro he lets the lie go and just expects her to pay him back#with his favorite meal. i also might be partial to raven because it feels like micah DEFINITELY likes her in her requests#whereas some 'routes' are more slapstick/comedic or only highlight the girl's feelings... he's clearly into raven.#whole lot of mutual blushing and him WANTING to talk and hang out with her.#that said i'm not fully committed to marrying raven just yet. i still have to finish karina and sofia to be sure about my feelings for them#and marian is the biggest other contender. i love her design and personality. the fact that she directly confessed is WILD#and not even at the end of her 'route'! she had a few requests/scenes to go! so the looming specter of her feelings is just. there.#and while technically it's up to the player from a watsonian standpoint i find it Significant that micah still hangs out with her#and helps her after that confession. he still wants to be around her. even if he hasn't vocalized or directly reciprocated any feelings.#as for sakuya she was my early game fave. i was really digging her. and i like what i've seen of her route#but it's frustrating that i'll have to wait and delay my progress a bit if i want to pick her#and from an in-game perspective it's like she and micah had a falling out in that they hung out a lot at first...#but now they've drifted apart and he's gotten REALLY close to a bunch of other girls#so it's like. maybe she missed her chance? i dunno.
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yo9urt · 1 month
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linguistic discovery of the night:
from playing y0 i learned that real estate in japanese is 不動産 lit. "non moving products"/"non moving property" etc.
now i am watching someone play y0 in spanish for bonus dual studying/pseudo-immersion and the translator is using "inmobiliario" for real estate which, as you can tell, looks just like "immobile," which is the same thing as non-moving
conclusion: ?
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smol-tired-binch-blog · 5 months
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*head in hands* oh God my parental issues affect my view of Kiryu
#it feels so DUMB and CLICHE like is it not enough for me to fully understand this man and why he does what he does and the fact that it#always comes from a good place and yet his actions nearly ALWAYS hurt those around him so it makes me irratated with him. Is it not enough#for him to be a mirror that reflects back at me and reminds me of everything I hate about myself? Is that not enough?#Noooo I have to go and care about Haruka more than the writers do so what I see is a girl who wants stability and who loves her father#who tries to be like 'im always here for you you can always count on me' but in practice is distant and leaves her to struggle alone#the one man she always knows will be there is the same man she can count in to never be there. his actions being fuelled by love and his ow#untreated issues somehow don't dull the pain but they do make you think you should be grateful for what you have and don't be harsh#It is at this point I May Be Projecting but always I'm correct. Anyway their relationship isn't 100% me n my dad ofc#I wouldn't even say we're both LIKE the characters but I'm seeing the threads. I'm seeing the reflection. I dont like it dnbmhfgndgdn#smol speaks#once again life would be easier if I JUST hated Kiryu but he makes it very difficult to do so but he also makes it difficult to like him#He's so fuckin stupid. But also his upbringing sucked. His views of the world and how he's 'supposed' to act clash with his inherent desire#and nature to be selfless and help others. Trying to prove to himself and others a 'true yakuza' is some beacon of honour#the people's champion. imo he is proven wrong time and time again but he refuses to hear it. At what point does it stop being a case of#standing your ground an act worthy of respect but then becomes bullheaded stupidity#selflessness into selfishness. courage into idiocy. love into hurt. fuck off Kiryu. get some help. you have it#smol plays yakuza
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s0dium · 3 months
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Warning: Gojo fucking you in his domain
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You are suspended in the celestial infinity of Unlimited Void, your senses ensnared in the vast expanse that mirrors outer space itself.
Oh, and you are being fucked.
Stars and distant galaxies cast a surreal glow, as raw, boundless information floods your mind, yet in this bewildering cosmos, you are not alone. Gojo, stands ontop of you, inside of you, his touch a grounding force against the sensory torrent threatening to consume you.
"Come one baby stay with me, I know you feel good I know."
You cant even open your mouth to respond. Gojo's presence becomes the eye of your storm. His fingers brush against yours, and the chaos that raged within you calms instantly; his touch shields you from the domain's crippling effect.
Now, all you can focus on is the feeling of euphoria coming from your core. Each of his thrusts, every time he drags his dick in and out of you, it is enough to send you to a euphoric grave. His rhythm is slow, and careful, treating you like you are glass that could break at any second. But his thrust are hard, the tip of his dick hitting a spot inside of you with such perfection your toes curl from the pleasure.
Gojo's eyes, those endless pools of blue, lock onto yours, and in this realm where time and reality seem to bend, he leans in. The kiss is a contradiction—both a surge of adrenaline and a peace beyond measure. Pleasure, intense and unbridled, washes over you, each sensation amplified by the void that engulfs you both but cannot touch your shared moment.
"God you are so beautiful." He murmurs and you almost cum right there and then from his words. And you do. As your nerves ignite and you fall off the cliff of pleasure, you can feel him, really feel him. Feel the twitch of his member inside you, feel his length scrape against your walls with delicious friction. Your tongue falls out of your mouth and your eyes roll back. Your whole body experiences this orgasm with such unbridled force that you shake. It's maddening. It's euphoric. It's him.
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evilgwrl · 1 month
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ExHusband!Simon x Reader
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You Want a Divorce? (Two)
Note: I feel like this is so bad im sorry!!!!
CW: Angst, titty sucking, passionate asf sex, simon missed ur pussy and you very much and vise versa, breeding kink, PIV (no protection, pls use it irl), squirting, simon eats the FUCK out of ur pussy, multiple orgasms, praise, hint of degradation, possessive!simon, OVERSTIMULATION, slight daddy kink… sorry
Part One
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It was a quiet ride, the subtle sweeps of cars fleeting by as Simon gripped the wheel, eyes trailing off to the side to look at you briefly. Your head was leaned against the window, your knees knocking together anxiously as your daughter babbled in the back, cooing about how Mummy and Daddy were now back together.
You tried to hide the shed of tears that filtered across your iris, every small childish mumble like a stab to the gut as you listened to the genuine happiness in her tone. You would turn around occasionally with a small smile as you reached out to tickle her foot, giggles filling the car.
Simon pulled in, the car bouncing slightly as it hit the gravel carpark, his hand swerving into a spot before he turned to the back. “You excited, baby?”
Ella’s face lit up as she fumbled to take off her seatbelt, “Get me, Daddy! Get me! I wanna see the lions!” It was refreshing knowing she still viewed Simon as her hero, no matter how distant he was in their lives. You knew that even though your ex-husband was rarely around, his time with them did everything it could to mend the time apart. Toby woke up at the commotion, the toddler having slept the whole way there despite his older sister’s constant bickering about what animals she had to see first.
Everything seemed to flash past you as you walked inside, the whir of kids and noise sending your brain into overdrive as your eyes flickered to Simon with Ella swinging around on his shoulders and Toby kicking his legs in the stroller. You looked away; breath shaky as you attempted to compose yourself. This was supposed to be a happy day, for all of you, yet seeing him with your children, something that was supposed to be normal, felt so distant and unknown. Gathering yourself, you plastered a fake smile, hands reaching out to pinch your son’s cheeks as you grabbed the stroller.
Your heart hammered in your chest for the remainder of the day, fingers tingling with anxiety that bled into your veins, consuming your lungs with what seemed like everything but oxygen. It was a series of squeals and commotions from your young ones, their elation evident through the bright glow of their face, soft red resting on the apples of their cheeks. As the day quieted down, Toby slumped in the stroller as you tucked him into the car seat, his new plush crocodile cradled into his arms, mouth wide open as subtle breaths snored out.
Ella was cradled into Simon’s shoulder, her shoes half hanging off as she clutched onto him, dead asleep. You settled into the ride home yet your anxiety only seemed to heighten. You were alone with Simon, with no kiddish voices to break the tension, brown orbs glaring into the side of your face.
“Should we talk about this morning?”
You scoffed. “You have some nerve asking to talk about this morning,” you screamed into a hush, “What you did was completely disrespectful. Not only did you break into my house and kick my date out, but you left our kids in the car! What the fuck were you thinking?”
He cleared his throat, almost like he wanted to hold back how he felt. You noticed the white in his knuckles as he gripped the wheel, right eye twitching as he stared at the squiggles of tar ahead. “I don’t want our kids growing up thinking it’s normal for parents to separate. They need their mum and dad together, y/n.”
The world silenced for a second, the screams of the wind rushing past you seemed to slow as your voice cracked, seeps of emotion pouring out as you choked on your breath, “Then you should have fought for your family, Simon. There is no us anymore, it’s just them. They’re all that connects us now.”
You felt like all the ivory had been sucked out of your eyes, endless pits of your pupil consuming you whole, blurring your vision with fog as you blinked, hot streams of liquid salt spilling onto your cheeks, brimming at the cracks of your lips as you sniffled. You could feel his hesitation as he looked at you.
His words regurgitated in his throat as he stammered, tangled limbs reaching out to grip yours as you pulled away.
“Just drop us home.”
Your eyes had dried now, soft stains of bare skin caving through your foundation as you smudged your fingers against it. Simon stuttered as he pulled up to the driveway, tyres screeching to a halt as you sat in silence.
The soft strum of fingers caught your attention as you turned around, the innocent face of Toby looking back at his parents, tongue blabbing out of his mouth. “Dadda! You have dinner?”
“No, sport. Daddy’s gotta go-“
“Yeah, baby. Daddy will have dinner with us.”
You blinked at your own words, Simon’s surprised expression meeting yours. The wrench in your heart would never subside, the entirety of the beating organ still belonging to your ex-husband, but being a mother was a sacrifice. And you would sacrifice yourself in every existence you become one if it meant your children didn’t have to battle the same internal wounds.
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“They’re tucked in,” Simon said, voice soft as he noticed your withered body in the couch. Your hair was messy now, strands spitting out as you anxiously tucked them back in, smoothing them down with the dampness of your palms as you ran around all night, ushering to the demands of your children.
“Thank you.”
You felt ill, your tongue cascading down your throat as you palmed at your knees, desperate for him to leave yet desperate for him to stay. Simon stilled, keys jangling in his hand before he sat down next to you, his weight disrupting the couch as he shuffled around.
“I need you to know that I did want to fight for you, y/n. I have counted every single day since you handed me those papers, waiting by my phone every single night on deployment hoping for you to text me, call me, fuck - blow my phone up. I never wanted the temporary absence that we had apart become permanent. Everything I said,” he breathed, voice cracking slightly as he looked away, “Everything I said on October 6th, 7 years ago, I meant. You weren’t supposed to get away from me - I shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t have let you get away from me.”
It was strange. Simon was never one for feelings, the brutality of his job allowed for any harsh emotions to crack through his fingers as he pulled a trigger, any dampness of tears would sweat through his skin as he pummelled a blade into an enemies head.
But it was you. And you weren’t violent, or any enemy, you were his wife, the person he vowed his entirety too.
Your anxious cascade cracked as you whimpered out a sob, chest heaving as you buried your face, tight with tears, into the pillows of your hands. You felt warmth spread through you, the texture of Simon’s fingers burning through you like wildfire, every ember he felt scorching through your flesh as he pulled you in.
Arms tangled together, intwining like wool as he wrapped you into his chest nimbly. A zephyr ran through you, your wrists clutched in his hands as you straddled him, the weight of you feeling like the grandest treasure upon him.
It was nothing strange, nor sexual but Simon recognised that cry, the differing pitch as you shuffled your frame into his. Simon knew you like the back of his hand, every crevice, every crease, every scar. He knew your backstory, and the one you made up to impress people. He knew the hex of the colour of your eyes and the print of your thumb. No papers would take that away from him.
Soaked eyelashes clumped into one as you looked up at him, orbs resembling once of a doe, innocence seeping through every inch of a salt-stained tear. His eyes met yours, apertures of cocoa reflecting your weary frame as you gripped onto him.
“Let me come home, please.”
Simon’s voice was desperate, it was raw, any shed of arrogance erased through the lines, eyebrows knotted together as he rubbed at the small of your back.
Your nod was subtle, but he could practically hear it, calloused hands gripping at the plush of your cheek and seeping through the tip of your spine, thumb rubbing at your earlobe as he clutched onto you.
Hot, seething pricks ran through your limbs as your lips connected, saline lining your mouth as he lapped at the heat of your tongue, rough groans leaving his lips as he savoured the taste.
Any diffidence left your body as familiarity sunk back into you. Hands pawed at the globe of your ass, gripping the flesh as anguished limbs wrapped around Simon’s waist.
With an easy tug, he lifted you, your hands wrapping around his neck as he pulled you in closer, teeth kissing. You never questioned Simon’s strength, and you wouldn’t start now as you felt your back hit your mattress.
He tugged at his shirt, the black fabric pooling on the floor as you sucked in a breath. Your eyes traced every scar, lighter flesh engraved into the skin of his torso, a short trail of hair disappearing into his pants as you stared at his burly physique.
Simon gripped at your shirt, the material practically ripping before his hands were at your chest, grabbing at your flesh desperately as you tangled your fingers into your bra, sliding it off. His mouth was hot on your chest, the sound of moans and pants filling the air as he positioned himself between your legs, teeth grazing the hard nubs, sucking with fervour as you whined, your hand at the base of his head, cradling it.
“Missed these so fucking much,” he practically whined, groping your tits as he pinched your nipples, lips sucking deep marks of possession into the soft skin. Your pants were desperate, begging him for more as you pulled his hair, fingernails clawing at his scalp.
Your hands fumbled with your pants, hips raising as he slid them off, clumsy fingers chucking them across the room as you laughed, lips connecting once more in a giggly state as his thumb pushed against the wetness of your panties.
“Missed how fucking wet you got for me. Such a good fucking girl,” he groaned, fingers rubbing at your heat through the thin cloth eliciting a pained moan from you.
“Simon - I need more, been so long.”
He choked out a laugh as his fingers hooked into the fabric, lace dribbling down your leg before he mewled at the sight of you. His hands held your thighs apart, your soaking cunt on display as it throbbed, slick folds glistening in the poor lighting.
“Prettiest fucking pussy,” he choked out to himself, placing your legs over his shoulder as he knelt down. Your back arched as you felt his tongue lick a long stripe of your pussy, his body seething for a taste of you as his lips found your neglected clit.
He lapped at you mercilessly, your cries and moans moulding into one with the filthy squelches of his mouth against your heat. Long digits circled your entrance, teasing you, before they curled in.
Your eyes rolled, pools of ivory exposed as you let out a guttural moan, your thighs tightening around his ears as he smirked against your pussy. Cocky fingers rubbed at the right spot, favouring the clench of your tight hole as he pulled every noise he could get from you.
You were barely cohesive as he lapped at your slick, the throbbing of your clit edging him on as he soothed your g-spot with the pad of his fingers. The coil you had only ever felt with Simon began to build, the familiar sensation pooling in your stomach as you stuttered out a whimper.
“Si- too much - I’m gonna-“
“That’s it baby,” he cooed, pulling away from your pussy for a second to take in your expression as you came, your face contorted with pleasure as your legs jerked, pussy wrapping tighter around his abusing digits as he fucked you through it with them. You looked down at him, saliva and your slick coating his mouth and chin as he grinned.
You stammered out a groan as his mouth attached back on your pussy, slurping up your liquid gold as you attempted to push his head away in overstimulation.
“Oh my- fuck - Simon - too much,” you whimpered your words commanding him to continue as he guzzled around your clit, teeth grazing the sensitive bud as your legs shook uncontrollably.
It wasn’t long before the continuation from your previous orgasm rose again, heat swarming your lower belly as you screamed out, your hand slapping over your mouth as you felt Simon’s spare hand wrap around your thigh, squeezing tightly.
You pulled at his hair, tugging at the ashy roots before you were gushing around his fingers and tongue again, sloshing liquids soaking your sheets as he groaned at the taste, mouth lapping it up with vigour. You whined in humiliation, the overwhelming pleasure becoming too much as you heaved.
“Si - no more -“
“I’m sorry baby, too fucking good. Will never get enough of your pussy.”
His words were filthy yet only held the truth, his continuous slurps against your heat causing your body to jerk as you relentlessly bucked your hips. Simon’s abuse continued on your pussy, your pussy gushing and coming another 6 times before he was satisfied, the sheet under you drenched in both your slick and squirt as Simon milked your overwhelmed cunt, claiming he was “making up for the months lost”.
You were dry heaving, throat dry as he captured your lips in a kiss, the taste of you infiltrating into your glands as you groaned, his hands reaching to tug at your breasts as he took in your fucked out state, legs jiggling and twitching as your pussy convulsed at the number of orgasms he dragged out of you.
You felt like you had been lying here for hours, yet you weren’t satisfied. You would only be content when he was inside you, stretching you to the brim as he pumped a load inside your worn-out hole.
“Simon - please - I can’t… I need you now,” you were practically crying, tears shedding at the brim of your eyes, bottom lip jutting out as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, slicking back the sweat on your forehead.
“I know baby, done so well for Daddy, hm? Even after all that you still need to be plugged full of me don’t you?”
You nodded as a harsh slap landed against your clit, your body jolting as you squeaked. “Yes, please,” you cried, “Please Daddy.”
His hands were like clockwork, tearing at his jeans as they released his cock, a satisfied groan leaving his body as he gripped at the tent in his pants, a sticky wet patch soaking the material before his length throbbed out, angry tip slapping his stomach as a trail of precum glistened against the base of his cock.
His dick was flushed red, begging for release as he ran it through the squelch of your sopping folds, rubbing against your manipulated clit as you moaned.
Your hands gripped his head as he leant down to kiss you, his arm holding him up while the other positioned himself at your entrance. He stilled for a moment, cock almost pressing in before he whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you.”
The words were soft yet meaningful, your eyes interlocked as he began to push inside, your mouth gasping open as you clutched onto his shoulders. It was hard when you were together all those years to get accustomed to his frightening length, and now it had been a year and the stretch was searing through you.
“I know, sweet girl, you can take it. Such a tight cunt for me, so fucking good.”
Fingernails clawed at his back as he pushed in, your whines muffled by the palm of his hand as he held himself up his elbows. “Holy fuck,” he spluttered as he bottomed out, his lips connecting to your neck as he sucked, resting inside you for a second as you whimpered.
The burn slowly faded as you rutted against him impatiently, the tip of his cock resting against your sweet spot as you gasped.
“So fucking impatient, always been such a slut for me. Haven’t you?”
You nodded, whining as he began to move, moving his hips slowly as he rubbed inside you perfectly, your mouth wide open as your head lolled back. A series of expletives tipped from your tongue as you choked on the air, Simon’s pace picking up at your dramatic noises.
“Fuck - taking me so well-“ he grunted, hands groping at your tits as he watched your pussy absorb his length. It was an obscene sight and he loved it. Every fibre of your being belonged to him and it was something he constantly craved.
“All fucking mine - shit - my fucking pussy,” he grunted, thumb rubbing at your clit as you mewled, twitching below him as he spat, “my fucking wife - got the tightest fucking cunt just for me.”
You clenched around him at his words, knowing it was true as his balls slapped against your ass, skin spanking against each other as the sound filled the room, ecstasy roaring through both of your veins as you made love.
The squelch of your pussy was taboo as he lapped in the missed sound. His eyes took in the way your body reacted to every movement, no matter how small. He took in the way your breasts bounced with each thrust, lower stomach bulging as he pounded into you.
“Fuck - Simon - oh my God,” your words were a mere blabber, barely making sense as you clutched onto him, pulling him down to meet your lips.
“I can’t pull out, baby - fuck - gotta cum in this pretty pussy. Give you another kid, hm? - shit -“
His hips didn’t falter as his pace fastened, chasing his own high as he rubbed at your clit, your breaths growing shallow as your orgasm began to build. “Gonna fill you with my cum until it takes. Need your belly round again and your tits full - such a good fucking mum, makes me so fucking proud.”
His words were the final straw as the build up in your stomach popped, your whole body convulsing as your pussy clenched around him, a loud groan leaving his throat before you felt the hot splashes of his cum pumping inside you.
“That’s it baby, milk my cock. Such a good fucking girl for Daddy, gonna break you apart everyday on my cock until you never forget who you belong too.”
He didn’t pull out immediately, his cum plugged inside you as some seeped out, rolling down the crevice of your ass below you. Your eyes shut, gentle pants leaving your lips as you felt Simon’s absence before a soft cloth was wiped gently across your sex and masculine arms were gripping onto you, carrying you into the guest room before engulfing you into a thrill of heat, Simon’s chest against your back as you fell asleep.
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TAGLIST: @kiiwiipie @nijiru
Disclaimer: im sorry if this is disappointing im super tired :(((
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