#The text in the photo is not really important is just Clark talking about bringing a pie and being late from a wild fire and

[sully-s]

Listen I've been watching a lot of movies with Gene Kelly lately and just wanted to dress up Clark as him. Even tho I think Gene Kelly looks more like Bruce or Brucie Wayne.

And if were talking about dance styles as a character study there could be a great case that Gene Kelly's dance style of using his whole body would be much more Bruce than Fred Astaire who Gene is often compared to who's dance style which is more foot-centric.

But Gene Kelly was known for dressing as the everyday man for his time and that's more Clark. Which doesn't matter.

Point being I bet Bruce has watched a lot of Gene Kelly movies with Alfred and you best believe if DC would allow a universe where Bruce could be at least bi he'd have a little bit of a crush on Gene when growing up and seeing his crush in the same atrie well ...

[snowonthebeachmp3]

July 2016

Jul 3rd - Taylor's 4th of July festivities kick off at her Rhode Island house. Guests include Tom Hiddleston, Abigail Anderson, Matt Lucier, Claire Winter, Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Josh Kushner, Austin Swift, Ruby Rose, Harley Gusman, Halston Sage, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne, Britany Maack, Ben LaManna, Martha Hunt, Jason McDonald, Uzo Aduba, Chioma Aduba, Jordan Masterson, Kesha, St Vincent, Ed Sheeran, Cherry Seaborn, Rachel Platten, Kennedy Rayé and the Haim sisters. (x) (x) (x) (x)

This is the day Tom wears the infamous 'I <3 TS' tank top while they're all at the beach. (x)

Jul 4th - The online mockery for the 'I <3 TS' shirt is quick to pour in. Daily Mail commenters are yet to shut up about it in 2021.

The party continues with a giant inflatable waterslide, body painting, karaoke, charades and fireworks. (x) And also Kesha and Haim getting tricked by Cara, Uzo and Ruby into thinking they heard scary noises in the night, and trying to call the police but not knowing their own location. (x) (x)

Jul 5th - The day after the party, when all the guests post their photos online.

Britany posts a photo of her & Ben, Blake & Ryan, and Taylor & Tom. (x) The internet has a field day with Ryan's unimpressed facial expression. (x) (Ryan later says that it's just his resting bitch face as he wasn't aware a photo was being taken. (x))

Taylor posts several photos to Instagram of her celebrating the 4th July with friends, but doesn't post any pictures with Tom. (x)

Claire Winter posts a bunch of Polaroids, including one of Taylor and Tom kissing. (x)

Abigail posts a photo to Instagram showing the banners Taylor put up to celebrate her engagement to Matt and the anniversaries of Cara & St Vincent (real name Annie Clark) and Ed & Cherry. (x)

Jul 6th - Taylor and Tom fly out of Rhode Island (x) and arrive at LAX that evening. (x) They then get on a plane to Australia.

Joe attends the Warner Music Group summer party in London. (x)

Rumours are swirling that Tom is no longer in consideration to be the next Bond, due to his relationship with Taylor. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Jul 8th - Taylor and Tom are flying on a commercial Quantas flight so someone is able to take a pic of them on the plane. (x)

According to another passenger on the plane, Taylor plays Scrabble during the flight (presumably on her phone because nobody takes big physical board games on commercial flights and the creepshot of Hiddleswift on the plane suggests she wouldn't have had anywhere to put the board anyway). In hindsight, knowing how Taylor and Joe play lots of Scrabble together including online Scrabble aka Words With Friends, and how they stayed in touch largely via texting that summer, it’s very possible she was playing against Joe.

Taylor and Tom arrive in Sydney, where Tom is about to start filming for Thor: Ragnarok. (x) Aussie media, including daytime TV, goes nuts over Hiddleswift's arrival in the country. (x)

Flying from LA to Australia involves crossing the international dateline, so they would have left the US on the 6th July local time and arrived in Sydney approx 15 hours later on the 8th July local time.

Calvin's new song Olé, written for John Newman, is released. There is speculation that it's a Hiddleswift song, written from Tom's perspective and containing lyrics implying that Taylor cheated on Calvin with Tom. However, sources also told multiple outlets that the song was written and recorded months earlier, and its supposed links to Hiddleswift were just for publicity. (x) (x)

Jul 9th - Tom goes out for a run (x) and avoids answering questions about Taylor. (x)

Jul 10th - Taylor and Tom go out for dinner to Gemelli Italian restaurant in Broadbeach on Australia's Gold Coast. (x)

Jul 11th - Taylor is named as the highest earning celebrity on the 2016 Forbes Celebrity 100 list, with earnings of $170m mostly due to the 1989 World Tour. If she and Calvin had not split up, they would have been the top-earning celebrity couple. (x)

Jul 12th - Taylor visits Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in South Brisbane. (x)

Jul 13th - Us Weekly makes a wild claim that Tom is planning to propose soon, and Taylor is going to say yes. The magazine cover also claims they're already talking about babies. (x)

TMZ claims that Taylor wrote TIWYCF, and that Calvin disrespecting Taylor following its release was the reason for their breakup. (x)

Taylor Swift really is the creative brains behind Calvin Harris' monster hit "This is What You Came For," and their relationship fell apart because he disrespected her when the song was released ... this according to sources connected with Taylor.

It's a fascinating story. We've learned an early fan rumor about the song is true, but to a deeper extent than anyone suspected. During their relationship, Taylor wrote the song, sat down at a piano and did a demo into her iPhone. She sent it to Calvin, who loved it. They both went into a studio and did a full demo with Taylor on vocals and Calvin doing the beat.

They both knew the song would be a hit, but Taylor wrote it for Calvin and both agreed it was a bad idea to let the world know they collaborated as a couple ... it would overshadow the song.

So Taylor, who kept the publishing rights, used the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg on the credits.

//

The problem in the relationship came the day the song was released. Calvin appeared on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and Ryan asked, "Will you do a collaboration with your girlfriend?" Calvin responded, "You know we haven't even spoken about it. I can't see it happening though."

We're told Taylor was hurt and felt Calvin took it too far.

It was a quick downward spiral from that point. One source called it "the breaking point in the relationship." The Met Gala was several days later, when Taylor danced with Tom Hiddleston.

Tree confirms to People magazine that Taylor did write TIWYCF under the pseudonym Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Calvin also confirms that Taylor wrote TIWYCF and goes on a Twitter rant:

Katy Perry tweets a gif of Hillary Clinton with a smug/'told you so' expression. (x) She also retweets an older tweet from May 2015 which reads, 'Time, the ultimate truth teller.' (x)

#TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trends on Twitter (x) (x) and Taylor's Instagram comments are spammed with the snake emoji. (x)

Following Calvin's tweets, TMZ publishes another article claiming he is downplaying Taylor's involvement in the song as she wrote the melody in addition to the lyrics. (x)

Jul 14th - Taylor goes out shopping in Gold Coast. (x)

Tom mentions Taylor in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter: (x)

You're in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now because you're dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you're involved in some sort of publicity stunt?

(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt.

Martha says at a Pepsi/World Emoji Day event that Taylor and Tom are 'both happy and free together. It's amazing, I'm all about people being happy in love.' (x)

Kim talks about Taylor and the Famous controversy in a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (x)

“I never talk shit about anyone publicly, especially in interviews. But I was just like I had so had it,” Kim says in the clip to her sister Kourtney. “I wanted to defend him in it. She legitimately quote says, ‘As soon as I get on that Grammy red carpet I’m gonna tell all the press. Like I was in on it.’”

“And then she just didn’t like the reaction?” Kourtney says in response.

“Yeah, and you know just another way to play the victim,” Kim replies. She then brings the infamous VMAs moment from 2009 by saying, “It definitely got her a lot of attention the first time… I just don’t think he should be punished for it still to this day.”

Jul 17th - Kim posts an edited recording of Kanye and Taylor's phone call. In it, they discuss the 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex' line and Taylor says, 'Go with whatever line you think is better. It’s obviously very tongue in cheek either way. And I really appreciate you telling me about it. That’s really nice.' However, nowhere in the Snapchat video does Kanye consult her about the line, 'I made that bitch famous,' which is the line Taylor insisted she had never approved. (x) The other Kardashian sisters retweet and support Kim. (x)

(The full recording of the call, leaked in 2020, confirms that Kanye never told Taylor he was going to call her a bitch. It also shows her reminding him that she sold 7 million albums before he had even heard of her, in response to him suggesting the lyric, 'I made her famous.')

Kim takes to Twitter to call Taylor a snake.

Taylor posts a statement on Instagram responding to Kim's Snapchat video. (x)

Selena tweets, 'There are more important things to talk about… Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters? This industry is so disappointing yet the most influential smh' (x)

Katy Perry tweets, '#RISE above it all' and links to her new single. People interpret it as a dig at Taylor. (x)

Martha Hunt tweets, 'It's pathetic how quick our culture is to sensationalize a fabricated story...' (x)

Jul 18th - #KimExposedTaylorParty spends the day trending at number one worldwide on Twitter. (x) To the point where 0.8% of all tweets posted in the entire week from the 18th-24th use the hashtag. (x) (Assuming that 1/7th of the week's total tweets were posted on each day, that means more than 1 in every 20 tweets on the 18th used the hashtag.) #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty also returns.

TMZ claims to have a copy of a letter from Taylor's lawyer, dating back to February, demanding that Kanye destroy the recording of their phone conversation and reminding him that it is a felony to secretly record a phone conversation in California. (x)

Taylor changes the name on her writing credits for TIWYCF on the BMI songwriters database. She is now listed as Taylor Swift instead of Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Camilla Belle, the subject of Taylor's 2010 song Better Than Revenge, posts a quote to Instagram which reads, 'No need for revenge. Just sit back & wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves & if you’re lucky, God will let you watch.' (x)

Abigail tweets against Kim and Kanye, saying, 'May God forgive you & your wife for doing to others the very things you pray are NEVER done to your daughter.' She deletes the tweets after receiving death threats but leaves a tweet which reads, 'Guys…I will always stand by my best friend. There's no point in fighting over that.' (x)

Joseph Kahn (director of many of Taylor's music videos) defends Taylor on Twitter. (x)

The aunt of Dinah Jane from Fifth Harmony tweets, 'I always knew @/taylorswift13 was a SNAKE! Trying 2 break up my girls & use @/camilacabello97 as her protégé bitch bye you’ve been exposed!’ (x) The tweet is soon deleted and she claims her account was hacked. (x) (Camila quit the band at the end of 2016 and has since said that Taylor had nothing to do with her decision to leave.) (x)

Paula Erickson, Taylor’s former publicist from 2007 until 2014, likes a two-and-a-half-week-old tweet dragging Hiddleswift for being a badly executed bit of PR by Taylor and Tree. (x)

James Corden spoofs the recorded phone call on the Late Late Show. (x)

Calvin is rumoured to be dating Tinashe. (x)

Jul 20th - Todrick Hall defends Taylor, saying, 'She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met in my entire life.' (x)

Uzo Aduba says Taylor is 'a beautiful person and strong' and that she will overcome the Kimye drama. (x)

Paula likes another tweet shading Taylor and Tree. (x)

A graffiti artist creates a mural in Melbourne 'in loving memory of Taylor Swift' (misspelled as Smith). According to the artist, they are then contacted by Taylor's lawyers and threatened with legal action. (x)

Jul 21st - Taylor's Wikipedia page is vandalised with insults. (x)

Taylor and Tom fly back from Australia into a private airport in LA, and are seen out and about. (x) (x)

Jul 22nd - Fergie, who had Kim appear in her M.I.L.F. $ music video, says she thinks the Kimye-Taylor feud was planned and 'they’ll probably all come together at the MTV Awards or something.' (x)

Taylor goes to the gym in LA. It is the first time she has appeared in public since Kim posted the edited video, and her phone screen is now shattered. (x)

She also returns to Instagram to wish Selena a happy birthday. (x)

Jul 23rd - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Tom is at Comic Con in San Diego. (x)

Calvin lip-syncs to Kanye's song That Part in a video posted on his Snapchat. (x) He also attends J-Lo's birthday party and is photographed with Kim. Apparently they have a friendly chat. (x) A source claims to E!, 'When Kim walked in Calvin saw her and stood up. He was clearly excited to see her and said 'hi' to Kim backstage.' (x)

Jul 24th - Taylor blocks the snake emoji from her Instagram comments section using a new Instagram feature. (x)

Tom is seen at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills with members of Taylor's security team. (x)

Jul 26th - Tom flies back to LA from NYC, where he has just spent a couple of days. On the same day, Taylor's plane arrives back in LA from Nashville, where she has spent a couple of days. (x)

VMA nominations are announced. Taylor is not nominated in any category, despite Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams being eligible, leading some people to think she has been snubbed. Gossip Cop, an outlet widely used by celebrity publicists to quietly squash rumours, says that Taylor did not submit any videos for consideration this year. (x)

Jul 27th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

John Newman, singer of Calvin's song Olé, jokes, 'Supposedly we had a holiday where he was movin’ on from his ex-missus,' referring to the trip to Mexico to film the music video, which involved girls and a yacht. He also says he doesn't think it's his place to say what inspired Calvin to write the song. (x)

Taylor and Tom go for dinner at Hillstone restaurant in Santa Monica. One source claims they 'seemed to really be enjoying each others’ company.' (x) It is the last time they are papped together.

Kanye makes a surprise appearance at Drake's concert in Chicago where he responds to Kim's Snapchat video for the first time, saying, 'All I gotta say is, I am so glad my wife has Snapchat. Because now y’all can know the truth. And can’t nobody talk shit about ‘Ye no more.' (x)

Cara appears on James Corden's show and talks about how she, Uzo and Ruby pranked Kesha and Haim at Taylor's 4th of July party. She mentions consulting Taylor and Tom first so that security knew what they were up to. She also says that Taylor and Tom got woken up at one point by all the noise they were making, and came upstairs together to find Cara and Uzo still making ghost noises. (x)

Jul 28th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Jul 29th - Sources close to Calvin deny rumours that he is planning to collaborate on music with Kanye. (x)

Abigail likes E! News' Instagram photo of Tom and Taylor going out for dinner on the 27th, which has a gushing caption about them. (x)

Jul 31st - Taylor is seen entering her gym in LA through the back door. (x)

A fan sees Tom and Taylor at The Church Key restaurant in LA. (x) The outing is not papped.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

[typinggently]

1) unanswered text messages, a crush, a golden sunset for superbat?

Oh, thrilling request!! Thank you! I’ve been very into the whole tired-slim, black turtleneck, RobPat-inspired Bruce look lately and I haven’t had much opportunity to write something for him, so this was a great opportunity!

-

Bruce in general isn’t the biggest fan of giving out his actual phone number (Brucie has his own phone that Bruce curates for one hour every morning and that’s honestly all the social media and interpersonal contact that he can stand). But what’s even worse is the concept of his “colleagues” having his number. Especially now, when they all don’t know each other all that well yet. All possible things could happen.

They could make a group chat, for example. They could send him messages.  

Truly terrifying concepts.

Anyhow. Two weeks in, they all exchange phone numbers. It’s not like he really has a choice. And it’s not like he can just give them the Brucie number. So with a heavy heart, he adds six new contacts into his phone.

That, of course, is only the beginning. It all gets messy from there.

At first, not much happens. There are some minor things like “I’ll be late” messages in the group chat (terrifying concept), but other than that, most things had been quiet. Until. Until one day, Clark and Hal get into a friendly discussion about cows that turns into a heated debate on cows. Bruce misses parts of it, mostly because it doesn’t seem all that important, but some hours later, Clark posts a photo in the group chat. Bruce, alarmed, opens the message only to find that it’s a portrait of three cows. It’s early morning in Kansas, apparently, and the colours are still a little washed out, even though the long cow-lashes of the cow-ladies are already tipped in gold. They’re all smiling for their portrait (as much as cows can smile) and look warm and soft, curls around their big ears and pink muzzles. One of Clark’s hand is resting on the cheek of one of the cows and she seems to be pressing her face against his caress. He looks tan in comparison to her off-white, cream colour, his hand big and gentle.

“See?” He writes, “Very pretty!”

“Such beautiful eyes!” Diana says in response.

Barry goes “very nice!!!!!!”

Hal sends a line of emojis, most of them rolling their eyes, and ends with “fine, fine”

Arthur is typing…

Bruce closes the chat and checks his alarm once more before closing his eyes, determined not to dream.

-

That’s how the group chat starts becoming more active. Bruce saw it coming, now he can’t do much about it.

Usually it’s just the odd message or photo here and there. Sometimes the others share newspaper articles they stumble across (Bruce saves those), sometimes they discuss restaurants or take-out places (Bruce deletes those and drinks his shakes).

But naturally, it gets messier. Because while Bruce is fine just ignoring the group chat, another most unfortunate event takes place: Clark texts him. Privately.

It happens at 4am. Bruce’s eyes hurt from staring at the screen of the BatComputer for so long and his mouth tastes like caffeine. When his phone buzzes, he blinks owlishly at it. At first, he assumes it’s a mistake and turns back to his screen, but Clark doesn’t delete the message and doesn’t send one into the group chat. So an hour later, when he’s made his way from the screen-glow dark of the cave to the blackout-curtain dark of his room, Bruce reluctantly opens the new chat. It’s a photo of the Kent farm - Bruce assumes, it might be any old farm as far as he’s concerned - at dawn. The grass is high and looks cool and wet, the house itself is still a sleepy grey-pink. But the sky is slowly warming and the first hints of gold shimmer in the windows of the barn and the leaves of the apple tree to its right.

Kal-El (or Clark, or whatever) wrote “:) since you probably didn’t get to see it!” and that’s enough of that. Bruce drops his phone and rolls around to face the other direction.

-

It doesn’t stop. At least once a week, Clark sends him a photo of a sunrise. Bruce never answers, but Clark apparently doesn’t care. He sends photos of the farm, the skyline of Metropolis, but sometimes also other places. The green horses drawing Victory’s carriage on the Brandenburg Gate gleaming and caressed with pale sunlight, the windows of the Eremitage flooded with gold, White Hall glowing pink. At one point, there’s the Earth itself, glowing as it turns towards the sun, light flooding the continents, the ocean.

Bruce doesn’t know what to say. When they meet in person, Clark doesn’t seem to treat him differently, so Bruce doesn’t bring it up. Instead, he just keeps his eyes on his notes or on Diana and goes through the meetings as if nothing’s wrong. About 5 minutes in, though, he feels bad. Every time. So he subtly squares his shoulders a little, causing their shoulders to brush. It’s a nice point of contact, Clark running hot even through the suit and Bruce’s Kevlar, and it becomes so familiar that Bruce finds himself standing close to Clark, too, his cape brushing Clark’s.

-

This goes on for a number of weeks, but suddenly, the photos stop. First, Bruce thinks Clark just missed a day, but when there are no new pictures for a whole week, he feels oddly stranded. Not that it was an actual conversation, Clark didn’t write anything after the first pic, but still, he got used to the little photos just before he goes to sleep. And the problem is, he can’t talk about it with anyone. It’s too late, if he were to explain to Alfred that he’s been ignoring Clark’s messages for one month and a half, Alfred would no doubt look at him disapprovingly and choose one or two cold words. So that’s not going to happen.

And naturally the others are no option, either. He likes Diana, but he’s not going to explain this to her.

So he’s stuck, staring at his phone, unsure what to do. Another week goes past, then Bruce can’t stand it anymore. He has to do something.

-

“If someone were to send you photos, what would you do?”

Dick puts down his milkshake. “You know, it was lovely talking to you and all, but I think I have to go. Right now, actually-“

Bruce shakes his head and leans over the table to take hold of his arm just before he can slip away. “No, wait. Listen.”

Dick makes a pained face. “I’d rather not, actually. I mean-“

“It’s Clark.”

“Oh.” Dick’s eyes widen. “Oh!” He sits back down. “No way. What kind of photos?”

“I don’t think that matters.”

“Oh my God. Is Superman sending you- You know what, no. Good for you, but I don’t think I want to- I mean, I kind of do want to know. But no.”

“It’s sunrises. He sends me pictures of sunrises.”

At that Dick raises a brow. “Sunrises.”

“Yes.”

“Is that a metaphor?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“What do I do?” Bruce hisses, finally annoyed by the lack of progress this conversation is making.

“Oh, I mean. Send one back?”

Bruce sighs and runs a hand through his hair, gaze lost in his coffee.

-

It’s been a long day. Clark’s hair is still a little crunchy with salt after he took a dip into the ocean at noon to pull up a sinking oil cruiser, but he doesn’t feel like taking a shower just yet. After dinner, maybe. He drops his messenger bag on one of the chairs around the kitchen table and wanders over to the fridge to check on the leftover potato gratin. His stomach grumbles just as his phone buzzes on the table. He closes the fridge and carries the gratin over, putting it down next to a stack of as of yet unopened mail to pick up his phone.

It’s a photo from Bruce. A library, or a study, maybe an office? A room with a ceiling so high it doesn’t show on the photo, walls covered in dark, glistening wooden shelves. Rows and rows and rows of books. A tall window through which the golden light of the sunset spills on an ornamented carpet, stacks of paper. Dust is dancing in the honey-thick light. And out of the window, the leaves of a copper beech, glowing in rosy red. “just woke up” it says and “(not really, but bats are nocturnal)”, followed by a little bat emoji.

Gold pumps warmly through Clark’s veins. He sends a “:)”.

-

Thank you SO much!!! This was so much fun to write!!! :) I love soft, awkward Bruce.

[iamrheaspeaks]

omitted truths

Erik X OC!

Bold Italics: Flashback

Word Count: ~1900

Warnings: None

A/N: As always this was lightly proofread/ edited. Enjoy! 💋

Part 2 Part 3

Back pressed against the door Mila slide down roughly against it until she made contact. Settling on the hardwood floor with a thud. It wasn’t until a ball of fluffy white fur settled in her lap, the humming from it’s purring slowly relaxing her enough to speak. Lifting her head to the dark cloud that just shot her day to hell. “Why are you here, Erik?”

Sighing deeply before answering, “Look I know I’m the last person you want to see. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t necessary.”

Shock and denial regressing back to anger “Just fucking say it! She demanded.

“One. Watch your fucking tone Mila! And two it involves our last…day together.”

“I’m blissfully ignorant about there ever being a last anything with you.”

“Well, that sucks because there’s surveillance videos that say otherwise.” Erik retorted blankly.

Mila threw her head back as she cackled before leaving her seat on the floor going to stand right in front of Erik. “I’m sorry nigga? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you’re trying to tell me that there’s video surveillance of a day we both agreed would NEVER be spoken of again! You’re not supposed to fucking be here! What the fuck did you do Erik?”

“Look!” Erik pinched his nose to try and combat his frustration before continuing, “Imma go get a drink at the spot down the street from here. Here’s my number if you wanna talk when you calm down, if you don’t that’s fine too. But I ain’t going away anytime soon princess.”      

That was 3 months ago. Before that day Mila’s life had been simple. Just her, her husband Noah and Midnight, their White Chinchilla Persian rescue. Life was a familiar rotation of hellos and goodbyes. Judy, the only cashier whose lane she went to because she actually knew how to properly bag groceries. Mark, the drive thru bank teller who always gave her homemade cat treats for Midnight. Janine, an overly energetic and absolutely adorable three year old toddler whose cheeks she got to pinch while waiting for her morning coffee at the hole in the wall cafe next door to her apartment building. Now there was nothing but lawyers, endless questions from everyone, staring glances from strangers and friends alike, that damn surveillance video and Erik.

“Mrs. Day?”

“Yes”

“Can you confirm that this is indeed you entering the Stevens’ residence?”

“It is”

“And what were you doing there?”

“Visiting an old friend, sir”

“Friend is an interesting word considering I have it under good authority that you and Mr. Stevens dated exclusively for three years before the date in question.” Mila silently scoffed at the word exclusively. That would imply a monogamist relationship, something Erik wasn’t capable of.

“Objection your honor! That wasn’t a question!” Mila’s lawyer quipped almost immediately.

“You’re right counselor! Let me rephrase, Mrs. Day how do you know Mr. Stevens? From the beginning please.” The prosecutor corrected.

For the first time since this all began Mila looked over to Erik. He just smirked and nodded. “Alright then, the beginning. Mr. Stevens and I met sophomore year of high school. We began dating the summer of junior year and were dating on and off until about six months before that footage when I met my husband.”

The man who was dead set on proving Mila was some sort of informant for Erik was now scrabbling through his notes and mumbling to himself. His unraveling was truly as sight to see. Hmm, I guess the truth will really set you free, Mila thought to herself.

“B-but that can’t be true,” he sounded defeated as his frantic search through his files subsided, “unless, unless…” he never got to complete that thought thanks to the FBI agent who stormed into the court rushing straight up to the judge handing him a file with a big red CLASSIFIED stamp on it. After skimming the file, the pasty white man swallowed hard looking at Mila.

“Witness dismissed! Thank you Mrs. Day for your cooperation up until this point. You are no longer needed.” He then turned to face the rest of the room, “Court is adjourned for the remained of the day! With the exception of Mrs. Day everyone is expected back tomorrow morning.”

The ride home from the courthouse was the same it’s been since the trail started, deafly quite. All Noah wanted to talk about was Erik and Mila just wanted things to go back to normal. To take a long hot bath with a glass of wine and her ‘Chill Vibes’ playlist and finally, to wake up tomorrow like none of this ever happened.

“Mila, can you please tell me what the hell is going on? What was in that file? That was the fucking FBI! Who are you?”

“I was fine until you came in here demanding answers to shit above your level of clearance Noah” Mila snapped sipping her Merlot. “But since you wanna know so damn bad I’ll tell you when I get out. Until then I’d pack my shit if I was you. You won’t even admit to knowing me after today.” As the door to the bathroom shut behind Noah, Mila’s phone dinged with a message.

Erik 😓: Still hate me?

Mila: Yes!

As Mila moved throughout her bedroom getting dressed she noticed Noah had taken her advice. His side of the closet was empty and his toiletries no longer took up space on the dresser. Of all the things that she should feel in the moment, relief shouldn’t have been one of them. But she was ready for this to all be over. Dressed in a gray and blue pajama shorts set complete with blue knee high socks, Mila found Noah sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands.

“Look. This wont be easy to hear,’ She started ‘I’ll answer any questions you have after I’ve finished.”

“Well…”

“My name,’ Mila took a breath before continuing ‘My real name is Briana Clark. I’m originally from Oakland, CA. And I’ve been in Witness Protection since 2011.”

“That’s a year before we met.”

“I was placed as a means to keep my identity secret from Erik’s enemies and me away from Erik.”

“But you went to see him that day. I was in court. I watched the damn video!”

“Pretty sure I asked you to let me finish first but fine! Yes, I did got to see Erik that day. I broke protocol, but when I got a text from an unknown number on my phone with a photo of me and Erik from a class trip.”

“How the fuck is that important Mila? Or Briana? Or whoever the fuck you are?”

“It’s important because when I entered Witness Protection one of my conditions was that all evidence of me and Erik’s relationship before college was destroyed! That’s picture should’ve been destroyed!”

“You were in there for almost three hours! You expect me to believe that’s all that happened? You told him about some damn picture someone texted you?”

“At this point, I don’t care what you believe. No matter what I tell you, you’ve already come up with your own answers.” Briana pulled the antique gold ring off before sliding it towards Noah on the table. “Here, I know what it means your family.”­–––

Briana woke up to someone banging on her front door. “Alright, alright I’m coming! Stop fucking banging!” Two in the damn morning, this better be fucking good Briana thought. After swinging the door open her instincts told her to slam it shut again but his boot in the door jam let her know that wouldn’t work so she just stepped out the way letting him enter. “You have court six hours. What do you want Erik?”

“What? No thank you? If it wasn’t for me your mans would’ve heard in court what you were really doing at my crib that day.”

She didn’t have to see his face to know he was wearing his signature shit eating grin. The one he gave whenever he was feeling himself, which was always. “Yes! Thank you for revealing my being in Witness Protection because of your stupid ass decisions and uprooting my life yet again. How could I fucking forget?”

Erik stomped his way over to Briana grabbing her by the neck and pushing her against the wall, “Watch your fucking tone with me girl!” he growled before using his thumb moving her head to the side whispering in her ear “Besides, you know that’s not what I was referring to love.” Erik released his grin around her throat before he made his way into the kitchen. Refrigerator door open about to grab a bottle of water before the door was slammed shut just missing his fingers.

“Like I said three fucking months ago when you showed up before catapulting my life to shit, I don’t know what you’re fucking talking about! Get the fuck out Erik!”

“Nah!”

“Erik. Please. Just go” all the fight starting to fade into desperation.

“Nah. I’ll leave when you admit it” Erik deadpanned before picking up Midnight and petting him taking a seat. “I’m waiting Bri.”

Looking out the window as it started to rain Briana thought back to what should’ve been her last day with Erik.

“Hey, I can’t believe you’re here”

“Don’t get used to it. After today I’m gone Erik”

“Yeah, I got that. So what you want?”

“A parting gift”

Erik looked up about question further only to see Briana standing in his living room stark naked with her coat in a puddle by her feet. “Damn!” was all he could say in response as he stride over to her. Briana jumped into Erik’s embrace wrapping her legs around his waist as he attacked her neck with nibbles and kisses while ascending to his bedroom. “You sure about this princess” he asked from between her thighs with his member hovering by her apex. Briana sat up on her elbows kissing Erik’s lips lightly before nodding her head and letting out a hushed yes.

Sex with Erik was always an event. He took pride in knowing Briana’s body better than she did. Bringing her to her peak over and over again without remorse or any signs of slowing down. Totally selfless. All things that set her over the edge but not what she wanted. Needed. Briana wanted to hear Erik recite something he’s told her many times but she stopped believing. She needed to hear it until she was convinced that she truly was okay with everything she’d ever known being gone after today.

“T-Tell me. Tell me, that you love me” Briana breathed through moans.

“I love you” he spoke into her neck. The vibrations against her neck causing her walls to tighten.

“Again.”

“I love you princess” Erik grunted, picking up his pace.

“Fuck! A-again! Please!”

“I. Love. You.” each word punctuated by a hard thrust right to her sweet spot.

Once her body stopped convulsing underneath him Briana took a deep breathe, sitting up on the bed. Looking over her shoulder, Erik was laid out staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. “This never happened.”

Erik turned his head looking Briana in the eyes before nodding “I got it”.

“I love you. Goodbye Erik.”

“What do you want me to admit to exactly? That if you weren’t so hell bent on things being done your way none of this would’ve even happened?”

“That you never stopped loving me.”

“You were a huge staple in my life. You taught and showed me things I’d never know otherwise. I wouldn’t be who I am if I never knew you but love? My love for you along with the memory of that day, no matter how vividly I remember it, is the truth I choose to omit Erik.”

Tags: @savagesensitivity @cancerianprincess @another-imaginesblog @loosewindmill @bidibidibombaclaat

[missrkl]

Intentions Behind Lies Chapter One

Gabi was sitting in makeup as the makeup artists did their most prolific work. Teasing her hair, putting things on her face. This was part of her job. There was times she liked it, but sometimes it felt too much like ‘hiding behind lies.’ Even her producer edited her photo’s quite heavily, taking of a bit of weight here and there, making her out to be this super skinny celebrity, when she was anything but. Even her name was phoney, Brittany, that wasn’t her real name. She had to do everything to keep herself number one in the charts. As the hairdressers teased Brittany’s hair into bouncy curls for the stage she sighed heavily. Chin up, said one of the makeup artists, “You’re living the dream! Do you know how many girls would kill to do and have you what you do and have?!” Britanny wasn’t so sure if it was a gift or a curse anymore. It had started out as a gift. In the beginning she loved the fan’s attentions, she loved the applause of the crowd, she even loved the finances that rolled in. Until her Father took it all away saying she wasn’t the right age to handle it yet. He did give her some and she had learned to become content with that. Brittany was soon being ushered into the fitting room area to put on her skimpy outfit, she really did not like waltzing about naked on stage for all to see, but that is what filled concert halls, that is what got the highest views, “sex cells” was the commentaries made by her producer. Brittany inhaled and exhaled deeply, emptying her mind of all her secret inner turmoil, the stage was hers tonight, not one of them would be there, she could just pretend she was at a big massive party singing and dancing her guts out. As Brittany stepped out onto the platform she smiled and cooed at the audience, they all cheered in response. Sometimes this could be fun. 

On the other side of the world was a guy named Fabs, literally that was his stage name. He was a singer too. He did love all his adoring fans, but some of them seemed to be a little too much to handle. He had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and he was half British and half Italian, “a man to die for” as the tabloids labelled him. Every single female on his arm at any event was a a cause of uproar in the tabloids and his fans, wondering if any of them was his actual for real girlfriend. Fab’s got up on stage and took the mic sporting his famous leather jacket. The leather jacket made him look like a cute little boy in a big man’s outfit, super sweet. Fab’s heard the screams of his fans, all the female attention, he did seem to have a weak spot for a lot of them. Women were like delicate angels, he would never wish for harm to come to any of them. He did have some stalkers, but that was part of the business, it came with the fame and he had to learn to get used to it and use them for the spreading of his fame rather than working against them. Fab’s was his own producer, that’s how great he was. Nobody promoted him but himself, he got himself to where he was, he had a lot to be proud of and his reputation preceded him everywhere he went. Business industries wanted to have interviews with him on how he made it happen, on what led him to do produce himself, how did he know what to do and about the finance side of things. 

Britanny finished her concert and slowly walked off the stage, turning back every few steps to the crowd cheering her on. She felt the exhileration, some audience’s really brought back all the energy that you put out there. She enjoyed those crowd’s a whole lot more. Finally alone in her camper van Britanny wiped off all her make and showered off all that spray off her hair. Blonde hair, back to being Gabi,back to being herself. As she ate her dinner and lounged on the sofa she thought about her upcoming events that might bring joy to her life. She remembered there was this party hosted by Naomi Campbell on the boat, she was going and she hoped to have a good time. It was hard to meet guys being a celebrity, all the men she ever met being Britanny was a bunch of guy’s who just wanted to wank over her or get her laid. She just wanted to be loved and accepted as she was rather than some persona she put up every time she performed. Maybe she could meet meet a guy there.Gabi was into the whole brown hair brown eyes rogue handsome man, she hoped there would be one for her there. 

Fab’s ran off the stage with deep excitement coursing through his veins. All the women were beautiful tonight, he was a sucker for a pretty face. He couldn’t help but flirt with some of the audience tonight, which had been met with shrills of delight by the audience, all dreaming that they were that woman he was talking to. As Fab’s got into his SUV he thought about the party he was going to go to Naomi Campbell’s boat party, he was a close friend and he liked her very much. A time for relaxation and a lot of fun. As he drove down the road he did have this earnest desire to have someone who liked him beyond his reputation, he had met lots of women who wanted his finances, or wanted his fame and status, like some sort of ‘man trophy.’ He wanted to meet a nice genuine woman, someone who wasn’t afraidto be herself around him. 

The week dragged slowly for both Gabi and Fab’s and soon the weekend was here and Naomi’s boat party was happening. Gabi dressed up in a gold sequin dress and her blonde hair tied up in a high pony tail like Ariana Grande. She sported a gold sequin bag to match and all she had on her was lipstick, keys and her iphone and charger. The important things clearly. Fab’s on the other-hand was running late, he had to meetup with Clarke before the event and he was racing down the road in his SUV. He wore a suite, black, and he was really looking forward to tonight. Gabi arrived on time and was soon shown around the rooms of the boat and led to the dining table and handed a glass of white wine. She stood with some other famed artists and they talked about nothing in particular, although the commentaries on crazed fans did come up and she did have a few stories to contribute. Fab’s arrived late and was also soon shown around the rooms and handed a glass of whiskey and this is the place where these two meet. They happened to meet when Fab’s was ushered to Naomi’s group of friend’s and Gabi was one of them, a new one. Fab’s eyed her up, exceptionally beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, pink lips, sexy slinky gold sequin dress and gold heels to match. He liked her almost immediately. He felt his cheeky boy side wanting to come out and play. Gabi was always apprehensive with new guys, and she had heart about his reputation in the newspapers, different girls always on his arm at different events, except for tonight it seems. Gabi had no intention of being one of those girls. 

As Gabi and Fab’s locked eyes together there seemed to be a spark between them. Gabi felt it loud and strong. The group was talking about the sexuality gender confusion of this day and what they thought about it and whether or not they would cash in on that exploit it as artists, Fab’s had made some comments that really pushed her buttons. He had said that he would exploit it for sure, he could use all the publicity he could get. Gabi had asked him “so you would feign being gay or feign having a gender confusion or supporting the gender confusion just for fans and ratings?” Fab’s had said yes, anything to get his numbers up. He was producing himself after all, it was a lot harder than say “some singer who had a producer who did all the hard work” and Gabi felt like this was a dig at her and she decided she didn’t like him anymore, he was rude and obnoxious and clearly only out for himself. She felt herself rising with boiling anger at his remark and had made some excuses to leave the group. Fab’s had made some excuses too and followed her, much to her annoyance. Gabi walked to the other side of the ship and looked over the ocean in silence away from the main thrust of the party and Fab’s had followed closely behind and she questioned his motives and Fab’s had remarked “how easily you are spooked, I only came out here for some quiet time, it’s you who followed me.” Gabi wrinkled her nose at him and made a comment how there’s a nasty smell going around the boat, how it must be him and stomped off. Fab’s just laughed, clearly getting some excitement from her frustration, her nose wrinkling was cute.

Gabi went home alone that night and Fab’s went home with two women on his arm, friends or friend’s with benefits she wasn’t sure, but she was sure glad it wasn’t her. Gabi went home frustrated and decided to create a fake persona online, an account where she could be herself, use a different picture, maybe an animated one for the purpose of remaining anonymous. Maybe it would be better for her to meet someone online who had no idea who she was. She set up the account as Geraldine and began scrolling around. She soon found this handsome looking man who had brown hair and brown eyes as well but wasn’t Fab’s, was someone else. He looked just as tantalising. She added him and said hello. Fab’s got a message on his instagram account from a woman named Geraldine asking him how he was and hello I liked your profile pic. Fab’s checked her out and found only an animated profile photo. Clearly a woman with something to hide, but he had something to hide too. His celebrity status. He had put a photo of his twin brother with his permission in order to maybe find the woman he would one day walk down the aisle. They soon began talking via text and found a mutual companionship in each other. Gabi found him to be interesting and easy to text chat to, at least he had given her a chance, with her animated photo and all. Fab’s sat up straighter in his chair, who was this woman? They had a deep connection even on their first chat, he really liked that, he never truly connected with anybody, but this woman, there was something, like a spark, and she didn’t even have a real photo! Which spoke volumes to Fab’s that must mean she was beautiful on the inside and that would last a thousand lifetimes more than the physical appearance that would fade away with time. Although, he did like Gabi yesterday, he had enjoyed their little chat both in the group and in private, and she was beautiful. He would have really liked to get to know her. Maybe one day they would meet again.

[craniumhurricane]

i’ll have the eggplant emoji

So I started writing a fic back in February and intended for it to be a Valentine’s gift for @katchyalater but that never happened SO! Merry Christmas Kac!

On AO3!

Bellamy: Can I come over tonight?

Clarke: It's Saturday?

I thought you had a date tonight??

Bellamy: I did

It ended earlier than I planned.

Clarke: Shit!

Yeah sure

Did you make it to dinner?

I'm ordering takeout

 When Bellamy lets himself into Clarke’s apartment he's wearing what she considers his “dating outfit”; a pair of nice dark wash jeans with a blue button up and a jacket that has those weird elbow patches that he somehow pulls off. He’s even got contacts in instead of wearing his glasses which is really a shame. He’s adorable with his glasses and artfully messy hair. Not that it matters, all forms of Bellamy are attractive to Clarke. But she refuses to let that get in the way of helping her best friend. She’s already got a beer waiting for him on the coffee table which he immediately grabs and twists off the cap before taking a pull.

“Food should be here soon,” she tells him as he sits down next to her on the couch. “And the cat will come skulking out once she realizes you're here. Bad date?”

“Just what I came for,” he says with a rueful smile and then frowns, bringing the bottle up again but pausing before it reaches his lips. “We broke up. Or rather we aren't seeing each other anymore. Fuck, I don't know. Do you consider it dating after only four dates?”

“Some people might but hey, what are labels really?” She shrugs and takes a sip of her own beer.

“Thanks,” he says with a smile before finally taking the swig.

She really does feel bad for him. Not that Clarke liked Echo. To be honest she couldn't really stand her, but Bellamy hadn't dated anyone since Gina broke up with him two years ago for reasons Clarke doesn't even know. It was amicable and the two of them are still friends but Clarke just wants her best friend to be happy. And for all intents and purposes, he did seem happy with Echo. Even if she was a royal bitch to most of his friends.

The cat comes out from the hallway and Bellamy seems distracted trying to get her attention so Clarke clears her throat and asks, “Netflix or Discovery Channel?”

Which is how they end up finishing the six pack Clarke had in the fridge and starting in on the bottles of weird foreign beer that her mom gave her as a Christmas present last year. They're watching some cheesy romance movie that came on after a Parks and Rec rerun marathon and were both too lazy to reach for the remote. The cat is curled up in Bellamy’s lap and Clarke's not sure when his head ended up on a pillow in her own lap or when she started carding her fingers through his hair but she's not going to comment on it.

“See and that's all it really takes,” he says suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence and gesturing at the TV.

Clarke knows he's nowhere near drunk. They've gone to Gina's bar more times than any of their friends and those drinks usually consisted of hard liquor which Gina was very generous with. Bellamy has spent more than one occasion holding her hair back and in return she's held onto his glasses and few times for him. She's pretty sure they're both fine right now, if maybe a little tipsy.

“Emotional manipulation until you have the girl right where you want her but surprise! You’ve been a good guy all along?”

Bellamy frowns and then suddenly sits up, dislodging the cat from her position with an indignant meow. He's back to sitting next to her on the couch but now he’s close enough that their shoulders graze each other. “No, just a simple gesture to show you like someone. Like,” he gestures at the TV again, “sending flowers. All these kids today sending dick pics and eggplant emojis. People still want to be courted. Gestures that are cute and thoughtful are way more intimate than grainy photos of hairy dicks.”

Clarke stares at his profile for a second and feels a slight blush creep up her neck and onto her face that she will blame entirely on the alcohol. It isn't until he turns to look at her that she realizes that he probably wanted a reply.

“Do people send you hairy dicks often? Isn't manscaping supposed to be a thing?”

He laughs, like she knew he would, and shoves her lightly which gratefully creates some space between them. “Shut up and put Netflix on.”

Bellamy helps her clean up the takeout boxes and leaves without any fanfare about two hours later. Clarke offered to walk him halfway but he turns her down mumbling something along the lines of it being only a 10 minute walk. She crawls into her bed and aimlessly scrolls through her social media feeds, actively ignoring the thought that hasn't left her alone since Bellamy had mentioned it when they were lying on the couch.

She pauses once she gets the text that he made it home, interrupting her scroll through Tumblr. She considers it for half a second and then opens a new tab in her web browser and before she knows what she's doing she's found a reasonable florist in the area that makes deliveries.

“That’s all it takes,” she breathes as she types in the delivery information.

*

She'd like to think she's the type of person that wouldn't obsess about it but let's be real; she is definitely the type of person to obsess about it. She spends most of Monday morning checking her phone every 5 minutes for the time. Not sure if the delivery confirmation or a text from Bellamy will come first. She's honestly not sure which she wants to receive first.

Thankfully she actually does get swept up with patients at the clinic and is gratefully distracted until close to her lunch time.

It's just after 11:30 when she's walking Mrs. Kane out that she gets a text from Bellamy. He has combination lunch and office hours from 11:30 to 1:30 which is why she indicated this as the best time for delivery. Clarke quickly announces to the front that she'll be in her office before she hurries in and shuts the door. The text is a picture of the arrangement but she’s too distracted by the blinking dots that indicate he's still typing to really appreciate them.

Bellamy: [image]

Thanks for the flowers, Princess.

I'm really not that upset over Echo but I appreciate the gesture.

Clarke stares at the messages and waits for more... But none show up. She exits out of her texting app as if that will refresh it but when she goes back in there's still nothing. Now she's scowling at her phone because that idiot didn't get it!

Or maybe he doesn't feel that way about her?

Once upon a time she thought he did but the timing wasn’t right. She had just gotten out of a rough relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious. And then, when she was ready, he was dating Gina. Next was Niylah for her followed by, most recently, Echo for him. When she was ordering the flowers, Clarke didn’t allow herself to debate over whether it was a good idea. She just thought, with both of them single, that this could finally be it. But maybe it was too late. Maybe they missed their window.

Halfheartedly, because she knows he'll think it's weird if she doesn't reply, she types out a response.

 Clarke: Glad you like them.

 And a part of her means it. Her friendship with Bellamy is more important to her than unrequited feelings. Still, she pockets her phone and doesn't think about it for the rest of the day.

It's later that night, when she's sitting at home with a bottle of wine, that he sends her another picture. He’s brought the flowers home and put them in one of the shitty vases she made when she thought pottery was going to be her new hobby. An assumption that she had been so so wrong about. He mostly kept it as a reminder that not all her ideas are good ones but she has to admit that the arrangement does look good in it now that she actually looks at it. The vase is simple, if a bit lopsided and lumpy, yet colorful and with the flowers it looks very... homey. He has them displayed in the center of his kitchen/dining table where she knows he does all of his grading.

 Bellamy: [image]

Look, your vase has a real purpose

Other than taunting you

Sorry, couldn’t resist. I really do appreciate the flowers though

 A goofy smile returns to Clarke’s lips and a flicker of hope reignites in her chest. She decides that she isn't giving up that easily. The gesture was sweet but maybe not grand enough...

*

Bellamy teaches at Ark University and Clarke knows his schedule as well as she knows her own which is how she knows he has lecture hall on Wednesdays. She plans her next delivery accordingly.

She purposefully took a late lunch and at 2pm she shuts herself in her office, pulls her phone out, and waits. At four minutes past the hour her phone lights up with a selfie of her and Bellamy at the fair, indicating a phone call.

“Hi,” she answers with a smile.

“I think the florist you used messed up your order.”

She startles upright in her chair, “Wh-What?”

“You ordered a delivery for Monday, right?” Bellamy asks before barreling on as if he's distracted, “They just came in at the end of my class with five more arrangements. You might want to call them and make sure they didn’t charge you for all of these.”

She blinks a few times. Of course, of course, he would worry about something like that.

“No, that's right,” she says carefully.

“Which is why you should call them,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing to do. “Tell them you only wanted the Monday order. The guy already left and I doubt they'll take these back so I'm giving them to my students.” She can hear him shuffling and talking to other people.

“No! That's not what I -”

“Related note; this does not help me get my students to stop hitting on me,” he says pointed.

She’s slowly moving from exasperated to frustrated. The smart thing to do would be to wait for his attention to be back on her and slowly and calmly explain that it's not a mistake and that, yes, she did send another five arrangements to his place of work, in front of his students, so there would be witnesses.

But Clarke's brain doesn't always work when she's frustrated and now this declaration of love is a thing. She's not backing down yet.

“We can work on that,” she says with determination.

* 

Bellamy's taking his classes on a field trip to the museum on Friday and won't be home all day. The clinic is only open until noon so Clarke has a free afternoon. It's the perfect opportunity.

Clarke has a key to his apartment because of course she does. He had given her a key after that one time when she waited outside in the hallway because he was running late and felt guilty about it. She uses it all the time to let herself in so she really doesn't feel bad about using it now...

She smiles when she sees the original flowers she sent him on Monday are still in the vase she made and are still sitting on his kitchen table. He must be changing the water every day because they still look really good considering they're a few days old.

She doesn't have long to admire them because the delivery guys are right on time. Clarke lets them in and begins directing them on where they can put stuff. Once they’re done unloading, she gives them a generous tip and sets about adjusting the arrangements herself. If five wasn’t enough for him to get it then maybe fifteen will do the trick.

In a true moment of feeling sappy, she decides to put her note in a card holder in the original arrangement.

After one last look around she gives herself a nod of approval and locks up as she leaves. She manages to keep the skip out of her step but not the smile from her face as she walks the few blocks to her place.

She’s playing with the cat and still smiling when Bellamy calls just after six.

“What the hell, Clarke?!” he yells into the phone in lieu of a getting. Loud enough that the cat startles and runs away.

“I had to get your attention,” the smile is a little hard to keep with him yelling at her.

“And bringing on an allergy attack was the way to do that?”

She feels the frustration begin to set in again, “Didn’t you see the card?”

“What card? Clarke, what is going on?”

She lets out a strangled noise. “The card on your kitchen- you know what, I'll be right over.”

When she arrives at Bellamy’s apartment she uses her key once again to open the door. He's standing in the middle of the room, eyes darting around to each arrangement as if he's unsure where to begin before his eyes land on her.

He sniffles and that does make her feel a little guilty, especially when his eyes are slightly red.

“Seriously Clarke, what the hell?”

She squares her shoulders like she's preparing for a fight and walks over to the table where she had left her note. “You said a simple gesture would work but apparently, with you, that isn't the case. So I had to go bigger.” She pulls the note out and whirls around.

He's frowning at her when she turns around so she just thrusts her hand out and shoves the card into his chest.

“And when that didn't work I decided I had to go even bigger,” she gestures around the room.

His eyes drop to read the note and there’s suddenly silence in the room. She doesn't know if it’s as awkward as she thinks it is but thankfully he starts talking before she can start rambling.

“You love me?” he looks up at her with something that looks like hope in his eyes.

All at once she lets out a breath and feels the tension drain from her shoulders only to be replaced by nerves and that damn blush again. “Well, yeah.”

Instantly, he closes the space between them and kisses her. Clarke's hands immediately go to the hair at the nape of his neck as if they were magnets just waiting for permission. Likewise, she can feel one of his hands thread through her hair while the other rests on her cheek.

They break apart for air but he doesn't go far, just rests his forehead against her’s with his eyes closed. “I'm in love with you too,” he says and suddenly they're both smiling at each other before she’s surging forward for another kiss.

They continue to make out for a few minutes before Clarke breaks out into a fit of giggles.

“What?” Bellamy asks as he pulls back to look at her.

She’s still chuckling but the look on her face is fond, “I should have just sent you an eggplant emoji.”

“Shut up,” he says with absolutely no heat, unable to keep his own smile off his face. “But yeah, could have saved yourself the trouble.”

“I'll remember that for next time.” But she doesn't think she'll need it.

[nathanielbrennan-blog]

Research Report

BA (Hons) Photographic Arts

Major Project 1

Research Report

Name:  Nathaniel Brennan

Major Project Title:  Who’s that?

Research Methods

I don’t know if I've used a specific method for my research, I’ve just found/come across other pieces of work that I feel correlate with my project. Whether that's through the concept/foundations or the imagery. I’ve found myself buying a lot of books lately, a lot of photo books from various different artists and photographers with various different concepts. Not always relating to mine. However, there's always been something I could take from the works, even if it was just the composition of images or layout within the book. Gathering a personal library of books has probably been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Having convenient references around me really spurred me on to produce more work towards my project idea and the language combined with different concept and context has really helped me make more sense of my own project and explaining it in my proposal.

Pilot Project

Through doing my Pilot Project the first thing I realised is that my second idea is far more interesting and exciting to me than my first idea. I recognised that its actually going to be possible to produce the idea I want to convey effectively. The Pilot project has taught me about the different formats I can present my work in, and where I can take it. I've learnt that I really need to take my time with my project and produce the best quality film images I can because when exhibiting in prints and in books they need to be perfect to have the best effect on the paper its printed on. For my Pilot, I used aspects of my main idea just tweaked differently for the subjects and work I had. After completing my Pilot a lot of things to do with layout and structure became more clearer to me and showed me the best formats and layouts to use in my final piece.

Audience and Context

This is very interesting. I would say for my project it's extremely important to be aware of the public expectation, that’s what I want to work with. For my project, the more relatable it is for the viewer the better. The history surrounding stereotypes is something I’m trying to showcase in the work I produce. I mean, it kind of already helps that my subjects play into the typical stereotypes but I feel the work that comes after will juxtapose this. To be honest, I don’t think I would change an idea of mine to suit a context people would more generally understand, I have my idea, I produce it, the people can have their own opinion/point of view. Stereotypes are pretty general in everyday life and I’m sure people will understand the terms I use in company with the images

Production and Presentation

There have been multiple different formats I’ve wanted to present my work with this term, more than I have in my previous projects. Throughout my pilot I’ve been working with physical digital prints, a format I don’t usually use in my work because I mainly use film.  How I present my work factors massively into my project I’ve come to realise. If I’m looking to create an immersive atmosphere I want it to be as relatable and as grasping as possible but at the same time easy to understand.  For my Pilot I decided to create zines, putting personal info and a Q&A section for both subjects. To show comparison and similarities. However, the idea of audio with conversations speaks to me more. Allowing the viewer to actually hear the individual I feel would create more of a picture for the viewer in their head.  

The presentation is big, especially in regards to image choice and layout throughout my work. A lot of editing decisions had to be made in regards to image choice. I needed coherence, and powerful atmospheres to come through my images, as well as my text. What questions to ask and where to put the text was a stressful process for me. I'm so precise with my work so every detail has to be to best it could be or the most effective it could be. I was determined to show a coherent flow in my images and easy exploration of text and structure throughout. Something I feel I accomplished well in my Pilot. So overall a lot of critical decisions were made during the making process of my work. A lot of decisions that could really make or break my project. I feel I handled it well and I feel the work will be something easy for the viewer to grasp. I had to make sure they had the best possible chance at giving an insight into my subjects and concept. had to be made during the process of my zines to make sure they had the best effect possible so the viewer has the be the best insight possible. This aspect is critical for my concept and I feel I did it justice. Obviously room for improvement though.

Visual References / Bibliography

Throughout this module visual references have been at all time high for me. I usually find myself getting books out of the uni library but this time I’ve been very fortunate with the bookstores that have been loyal to me. Each day I’ve been going in and finding a new book nearly every time. Not necessarily in coherence with my concept but defiantly for structure, composition and image layout/presentation

- Albert Watson Mad Dog Schirmer/Mosel

This is a book acquired from my local bookstore. One of my favourite books I’ve recently bought. Like my other books, the majority, if not all the images in black and white. However what stands out to me the most the composition of photos, contrasts and the layout of the photos. I'm a huge fan of deep tones throughout black and white which is another aspect I want to try and display in my work. I love the juxtaposition of images next to one another. No matter how different it may look from the one next to it, there's something strange linking the two together. Maybe something I might incorporate in my day in the life zines. Finally, the small crops/images In the middle or top corners is another layout style I really like. Minimalist work appeals to me just as much and big collage pieces.

- Brick Magazine Inspiration

Brick Magazine is a fairly new published magazine giving insight into the latest musical artist, producers and youth culture. This issue, in particular, is one of my favourites with my some of my favourite artist and some of the nicest/most interesting photographs and composition. Throughout the magazine, there is constant conversations and stories about said individuals. The text layout on top of the fully bled imaged is something I want to try and bring to my zines I make for the project, as well as the hard-hitting close-up portraits.

Spike Lee Book Inspiration

‘The Films of Spike Lee Five for Five. A behind the scenes photo documentary of five Spike Lee films, documented by his brother David Lee. What stood out to me the most was the composition, layout of the images and their content throughout the book. Very old school feel and traditional layout, atmospheric images. Each image made me feel so familiar with the subjects and the characters they play In the films. The powerful angles, a mixture of soft and deep black and white tones. The composition and rawness of the images spoke volumes to me. The documentary style is something I want to implement in certain areas of my project, mainly in relation to my second idea.

Dana Lixenburg - Her project Imperial Courts 1

The relationship she has built purely through photography and revisiting over a certain period of years with these strangers in LA is something I find so inspiring. Having individuals become familiar enough with you to allow them to take their photo while not even knowing you is a huge achievement in its self but the portraits that come of it are even more remarkable. The full body to 3/4 body portraits of these less fortunate individuals speaks volumes to the viewer. The crisp detail and emotion captured leaves the viewer's empathy throbbing. Something I'm hoping to accomplish with my projects, just in slightly different ways. I've found in my own work, the more comfortable I get with new friends and old the more they will show of themselves In a photograph. I'm not talking about literally showing more of their body but more into how they are feeling In a certain moment, a true representation of a particular aspect an individual has. Whether that's a happy or aggressive side. Something I feel can be taken away from the images in this body of work.

Larry Clark

My second place of inspiration comes from Larry Clark and his body of he produced titled Tulsa. Not so much in the content of images but the foundations behind his work. Larry Clark happened to know some very different individuals, people he would be around every day. Absolutely fascinated by his friends be decided to document them in the book Tulsa. I feel very privileged to know the individuals I know (how Larry Clark might have felt) and I want the world or others to know of these individuals. I want to show the talent I’m surrounded by and how influential they can be. The candid photos which also make up this body of work is an aspect I’m looking to implicate with my project ideas as well. Creating more of a picture to the type of atmospheres generated by these individuals. A possible insight, just how Clark has accomplished with these images.

[fabglance1]

#XD30 - Day 6 - ‘GOOD’

She looked down at her hand, a flawless cushion cut diamond sat perched on her ring finger. She still couldn’t believe it. They night they’d had, the way he proposed, all those flowers, and the fact that she got him by being a good girl. Jordan and Jack were celibate during their entire courtship. It was so hard for her not to fall to the temptation, but now it was all worth it when she looked at the rock on her hand. She was ready to grow a family with the love of her life.

  “Let me see it! Let me see that ring girl!” Jordan’s best friend Kia was already squealing from across the restaurant. Right behind her was Tasha, Jordan’s favorite cousin. The three girls grew up together. They were Jordan’s door to the real world when her dad wouldn’t let her do fun stuff.

  After Jordan’s Mom died, her father didn’t know what to do with the little girl. The thought of raising a girl child all by himself was too scary for him to comprehend. So, he headed to church. Jordan grew up under the watchful eye of the women of Greater Harvest Church of God in Christ. She often thought they cared so much because they were trying to date her dad. But he never entertained one woman in that church. He was a devoted volunteer, member of the deacon board, and did pro-bono work when someone’s son got in trouble.

  Jordan was often told how pretty she was with her green eyes and chocolate skin. But, she was inadvertently taught that compliments from boys were bad. The devil was in those little mannish boys and only fast-tailed girls entertained their games. If he wasn’t almost like Jesus, he’d never do her any good. She was taught to wear her skirts long, keep her silky hair pulled back, and never open her legs until marriage.

  And Jordan believed it. She prided herself on holding on to her virginity through high school, college, and Law school. She always made sure to keep herself busy by going to the gym, volunteering in the community, and pursuing her education. Jordan graduated with honors and won numerous awards. Walking in her father’s footsteps she practiced law with the best of intentions. She prided herself on being honest with her clients and helping them even if she didn’t see a win.

  Kia and Tasha always made sure that Jordan wasn’t so heavenly minded that she was no earthly good. In high-school the pair persuaded Jordan to stop dressing like the Clark Sisters and more like TLC. In college, the girls knew that Jordan wasn’t having sex, but made sure she knew about birth control. By the end of Law School Jordan had found her balance. No longer a member of the COGIC girls of America, she didn’t feel guilty wearing a pair of pants, going on a cruise to Jamaica, or having a sip of wine every so often.

  But sex, sex was something she would not budge on. By the age of 29, Jordan was still holding up the standard. She’d only seen a real-life penis two times in her life: once with her high school boyfriend an again with her college beau. Jordan dated often, because of her good looks and cool demeanor, but didn’t stay in relationships long due to her no-sex rule.

  “Not even ORAL!” Jack said, looking at the gorgeous girl sitting on his couch. “You’re trying to tell me; you’ve never had a guy put his lips on your … lips!? You are almost 30!”

  It was their third date and Jack had invited Jordan to his downtown apartment. With floor to ceiling windows, hard wood floors, and kitchen fit for a celebrity chef, bringing a woman back to his house was a sure way get her naked. And he wanted to see Jordan naked! He remembered watching her walk into the gym just weeks earlier.  

  That day he spotted the slender yet toned lawyer chat with the gym owner, put her hair in a ponytail, change her sneakers, and start her workout. He didn’t mean to stare, but she was just so smooth and her smile so radiant. He’d never seen a woman come to that gym and generally enjoy being there. She worked out for exactly an hour, picked up her bag and left. The next day Jack spotted her again, same routine, different color work-out gear. He didn’t understand how he never saw her previously, but now he saw her almost daily.

  By the end of the next week he got up the nerve to ask her on a date. She smiled, but declined. Looking at Jack she knew he’d be no good. He was just too attractive. Standing at 6'5", slim basketball build, wearing the newest Air Max running shoes, she knew he was out of her league. His pecan-colored skin looked so smooth as he asked her questions about her life. She still gave him her number, thinking he’d be a good friend. He called daily and they talked a lot.

  Jack was new in the city. He experienced a horrible break-up and his best friend persuaded him to come to her town. Jack took a job at an investment firm, moving away from all the heartbreaks of living in Atlanta. It was nice to be back in the same place as his best friend and entertaining a beautiful young lady.

  “So what you’re saying is, if I choose to date you, we ain’t having sex?” Jordan nodded her head, “for how long? 90 days or something?”

  “Until I get married. Maybe I’ll marry you, maybe not. But it’s what I believe and its what God wants for my life.” She stood firm on her decision, although her knees were shaking. After just three dates, she had really fallen for Jack. He was funny, smart, and just the right amount of nasty to keep her emails to Tasha and Kia entertaining. If she was gonna give her virginity to someone, she wanted it to be someone like Jack, married of course.

  Jack sat next to her, she could feel the heat from his body. She could smell the faint scent of cologne. She watched him search her to see if she was full of BS or truly genuine. This was the part she hated. She’d been here before. All the men she dated would act like they could be celibate, but then they’d break. She’d been cheated on more times than she had fingers and hoped this one wouldn’t do the same.

  “Alright. I believe you. I guess I’m gonna be dating a green-eyed virgin. You are really like a unicorn, you know that?”

  “Just, please tell me if you can’t take it. Don’t cheat on me. Don’t lie to me. Just leave if you can’t take it.” She batted her long eyelashes and looked jack straight in his face. Jack suddenly felt nervous. He hadn’t had a woman hold him accountable in a long time. He hadn’t had a woman be so straight forward. Jordan, although quiet and chill, withheld the demeanor of an earthquake. You didn’t know when she was going to break, but you better be prepared when she did.

  The next five months were blissful. Jack had never experienced the type of affection that Jordan gave him. What they didn’t do in the bedroom she more than made up for in other places. The girl could cook, she had amazing style, she knew all the right people, and they liked the same movies. She wasn’t an extrovert like Jack (who never met a stranger), but her unspoiled honesty and considerate attention excited him. She had a small circle of friends, a couple of great colleagues, and frequented her church about three Sundays a month. She was regimented and often talked about how her routine kept her true to herself and closer to God.

  She even got Jack to start coming to church with her. She told him if he’d just listen to the word of God and not be so focused on the actions of men, he’d understand why her religion was so important to her. Jack started to see God through Jordan’s eyes and loved her even more for it. He wasn’t at church when the doors opened, but he did play basketball with the men’s ministry and found some fraternity brothers who attended just as often as he did. Jordan was right, focusing on something other than sexual conquest helped their relationship get stronger. He knew this was the woman he wanted to marry.

  When Jack told Ahlia he wanted to marry Jordan, she was pleased. She liked Jordan, and was happy to see her best friend happy.  She was also glad to have her friend back in town. Ahlia and Jack hadn’t lived in the same city since their high school days. After, Jack went to Morehouse and Ahlia went to Fordham, they found very little time to kick it. During her junior year, Ahlia went to a Study Abroad program which allowed her to study in Cambodia for two years while finishing her undergrad degree and starting her Master’s program. The two would communicate through email and a random phone calls, but the romantic feelings they shared as teens seemed to disappear. Jack asked Ahlia to come help him pick out the ring, and Ahlia went.

  On the night of the proposal, Jack rented a gorgeous hotel suite, he purchased 150 white long stem roses, several dozen candles that smelled of rose oil, vanilla, and jasmine, along with plates of all Jordan’s favorite desserts. He arranged everything in the room. He left a hand-written letter at her office telling him to meet him at the hotel wearing the dress accompanied in the letter. That night he told her that she changed his life and he wanted her to be his wife. She kindly accepted snapping photos of her giant ring and informing her friends. She, so, wanted to have sex with him that night, but didn’t. Instead, she let him see her naked for the first time telling him to promise not to touch. He obliged.

  The next morning, Jack texted Ahlia the great news. Ahlia looked at the photos of Jordan’s excited face and Jack amazing smile. She replied that she was, “sooooooo happy for them!” and that she, “couldn’t wait for the big day!” Putting the phone down she had a sudden pain in her chest. Were these old feelings coming back? Of course, not! She was SO over Jack. That was puppy love, they were adults now. He’s marry Jordan and they’d have an amazing life. She’d find her true love and do the same.

She texted Jordan and Jack in a group message saying, “If you need any help with the wedding, let me know. Love you guys! You’re lil sis!”

[kane-and-griffin]

What happened to Lindsey makes me sick and sad and it makes me feel like it's not even worth it to participate in fandom at all. Which isn't what I want! I want to be able to enjoy content and have discussions and put myself out there to make fandom friends but the pure vitriol the gets spewed when people disagree with each other and the pure hate the actors get for literally doing nothing imo is bad for all of our health. :/ I just want one event to pass without something horrible happening.

It is SO SHITTY. She spoke so eloquently all weekend at the con that we got chills every time. The way she talks about representation, about being a proud woman of color, about what Raven means to her, about the cast and this show, are so beautiful and inspiring. She is INHUMANLY charismatic and anyone who has ever been in the same room with her just feels lit up all day. When we were in line for Bob’s autograph she was at the next table (that was her first appearance), and Erin - who is straight - looked over and caught a glimpse of her and was like “oh my god she is so beautiful my brain just like … short-circuited a little bit.” She is like such a magical unicorn princess in real life and after spending the weekend just falling AGGRESSIVELY in love with her, we all felt so sick and angry that she was getting hate like MINUTES after the beautiful positive experience of the con was over.

That being said, a few important pieces of context. First, while ANY amount of malicious fandom hate towards ANY actor (or writer) (or Jason) is unacceptable, this looks like it was maybe one or two people. I beg of everybody to dial down the rhetoric of blaming entire fandoms for the actions of their fringe crazies. That’s what causes ship wars. I think every fandom needs to be hypervigilant about coming to collect their own people when they step out of line, and every shipper I know from the fandom to which those assholes claim to belong pounced IMMEDIATELY to report them, block, and loudly denounce the harassment. From my corner, everyone in the fandom of any ship handled this exactly right - report and block the accounts, then bombard Lindsey with positivity. THAT is my fandom. I don’t claim those one or two assholes who want to drag Lindsey with unbelievably ugly insults for something she didn’t even say. I DO claim all the Bellarke shippers posting messages of support and gratitude to Lindsey for all she gives to this fandom and who aren’t afraid to publicly speak up when someone from their own ship is out of line.

Hurtful words hurt. They just do. There’s no way around it. We had a really upsetting experience at the con with a photo that Erin took for me of a pair of AMAAAAAAAZING Bellarke cosplayers with Theo the awesome Kane cosplayer holding their baby. She tweeted it so I could see it with a caption about “the Griffin-Kane-Blake family” and it started getting quote-tweeted by Clexa shippers with all kinds of rude comments. We were both really upset about it. And the group we were hanging out with all weekend, which consisted of people from every ship, was upset on our behalf. Sam and Brittany ship Clexa and were texting us “OKAY WHO DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE LITERALLY DRAGGING A BABY?” They don’t claim the people from their own ship whose behavior is cruel and awful, just like Erin and my other Bellarke friends don’t claim the people who attacked Lindsey.

This is a really important distinction. Bad behavior is not caused by ships. It is caused by people. And most of the people in this fandom, I truly and genuinely believe, are good people. I was ASTONISHED at what a healing and transformative weekend Unity Days was. We had a pizza party in our hotel room with like a dozen people of all ships (some in pajamas) piled up on the beds. We didn’t argue about Bellarke vs. Clexa. We marathoned “Say Yes to the Dress” and swapped crazy wedding stories and talked about Anne of Green Gables. Ship divisions exist on the Internet. They aren’t a thing that divides people in real life, unless you let it. Erin and our ride-or-die Clexa shipper friend Meg bonding over mutual exhaustion at the drama between their respective fandoms was like the most pure moment of the whole weekend. Oh, and then we were in line for autographs and Erin was yawning and talking about how tired she was because she was up too late reading fic, and the woman in line in front of us, who was SOLIDLY decked out in Clexa gear, turned around excitedly and said “OH MY GOD ME TOO!!!”

THAT’S my fandom. That’s who we are. We are just people, united in our terrible sleep-related decisions when our fave writer posts new chapters. She didn’t care that we were talking about Chash, who writes Bellarke. Erin didn’t care that she was wearing a Lexa t-shirt. In real life, your ship is not the defining element of your identity. In real life, we aren’t faceless mobs of strangers facing each other from either side of the battlefield of who Clarke Griffin loves the most. We talked about books and our jobs and our families and how cute all the actors’ dogs are. We talked about how Luisa and Tasya had amazing shoes and how Chris looks like a college student and how Sachin is a ray of human sunshine. We didn’t demand ship credentials first before we decided if someone was worth being nice to or not.

This post is rambly and long and disjointed because I’m writing it on my phone on the bus from Vancouver to Portland. I already miss Unity Days. It was an extraordinary experience. But all I can do - and intend to do - is to try to bring as much of that experience as I can into my online world as well.

So I’m not giving up. I’m not getting discouraged. I’m going to be right here, spreading positivity and encouragement as much as I can. I want to be a force for unity instead of division. I want to be kind. I want to create and contribute things instead of tearing people down. I can’t undo how shitty it feels to receive fandom hate, or to watch someone you care about - whether a friend or one of the actors - receive it. All I can do is gently remind you that the people who say that shit speak for no one but themselves, that the good people in their own fandoms disown and shun them, and that anything you have to do to curate your online experience to make it a positive one is worth doing, whether it’s having a one-strike policy with blocking and muting, or only following like the ten people you like the most whose feeds always make you feel good instead of terrible.

Fandom should be a place of positivity and unity, a collective shared experience based on the fact that we all love the same thing, just in different ways. Don’t let assholes take that safe space away from you.

[kiishou]

1-98! Not 99

1) Sexuality?

I am pansexual and demisexual

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I would love to meet Obama

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4) What do you think about most?

I think about a lot of things but I think I mostly think about the beauty in life and how often it goes unnoticed.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Ok”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I usually do because I tend to fall asleep in whatever I’m wearing (usually like jeans and a sweater)

7) What’s your strangest talent?

I took a quiz on what my talent is and I got “Secret Singer” so there ya go

p.s. my boyfriend says organization is another talent of mine

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are so pretty you should look at the nearest girl and admire her. Boys are misunderstood and raised to live up to some bullshit standards and should learn to be more forgiving and understanding of the world.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

“I’m working on it” - Shane 6:00p 22.03.2017

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um never i’m not a loser HAHA

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

Atelophobia, metamfiezomaiophobia, and i forgot the word but… fear of automatic toilets

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

when i was younger i stuck a grape up my nose

13) What’s your religion?

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

probably either going for a walk/enjoying the weather OR on my way back inside

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind the camera

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

i have more like favorite artists of the month or a period of time so the one for this month is: in love with a ghost

17) What was the last lie you told?

“i’m not upset”

18) Do you believe in karma?

YES i do (it’s been kind of good to me lately)

19) What does your URL mean?

it’s my gamertag and literally just a dumb pun on my nickname

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness: proving others wrong / impulsion

my greatest strength: cheering others up /  “fucking” selfless

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Emilia Clarke

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope it would be too cold

23) How do you vent your anger?

I cry out of frustration but I’m never really angry. I know things make me upset and sometimes I’ll take it out on myself by like self loathing and shit; other times I get upset at others as well.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I’ve been collecting figures and other nerdy shit over some time now (I can post a photo of my shelf), I’ve been collecting the C9 season posters but I’m missing two of them currently, and I also collect different skins in League of Legends/Overwatch

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I like video chatting because I think it is such a great invention and it should be utilized at all costs #WhatATimeToBeAlive

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’m starting to be happy with myself and being loving/forgiving of myself

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

my biggest what if is “what if I didn’t exist”

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm: Jerry’s face

left arm: nothing

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

I can’t smell i am noseblind

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Neuvo Laredo, Mexico

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

Texas

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Childish Gambino tbh

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

I don’t really know but I think that IS the meaning: trying to figure it out because it’s different for everyone. I think it’s trying to bring a little more sunshine in this cloudy world

36) Define Art.

visual imagination: images from the mind 

37) Do you believe in luck?

yes i do; i also believe that i am kind of unlucky

38) What’s the weather like right now?

it’s kind of sunny

39) What time is it?

4:00p

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive, I’m not fond of it. I’ve never crashed but I’ve been crashed into.

41) What was the last book you read?

I am currently reading The Catalyst: Rogue One

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no it is too strong and my nose is sensitive (don’t tell it mean things)

43) Do you have any nicknames?

gen, geny, yen, yeny, gun kuhknee, dad, nina, flaca, chiquita

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Freedom Writers

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I almost cut off an entire finger once

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yes i’ve caught many actually i used to really like bug catching as a child

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

right now i’m obsessed with sleeping and spending time with friends 

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

i was/am asexual but recently i’m learning that i am demisexual (my friends have a joke saying i’m Shanesexual)

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

probably but i don’t care enough to remember or think about it

50) Do you believe in magic?

ya i graduated from Hogwarts

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I wouldn’t call it holding a grudge: i forgive people but i never ever forget what they have done

52) What is your astrological sign?

virgo

53) Do you save money or spend it?

depends on what i want or what i need to do

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

spicy chick fil a sandwich, fries, strawberry gansito, sno-berry peace tea, and two scan trons 

55) Love or lust?

love love love

56) In a relationship?

yes i happily am in one

57) How many relationships have you had?

two and the one i’m currently in

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59) Where were you yesterday?

@ my house

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

not currently

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

nope bc i wore cute flats today that hurt my Achilles 

62) What’s your favorite animal?

sharks, rabbits, cats, foxes

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

if i had one i would have more friends :^)

64) Where is your best friend?

she’s in another town rn 

65) Spit or swallow?(;

neither

66) What is your heritage?

i am hispanic w/ mexican heritage 

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i was finishing my math review for an exam and watching a movie with soem internet friends

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Santana

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

nope

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

the ones i have rn 

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog fuk the job i can get another one 

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I probably would only tell the one person closest to me about the situation. I would spend my remaining days with people i love and doing things i would miss. I wouldn’t be afraid.

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Waterloo - ABBA

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

0126

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, honesty, and communication

77) How can I win your heart?

you can’t it belongs to shane, sorry

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

finally doing things towards my happiness

80) What size shoes do you wear?

5 ½

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“it was lit fam”

82) What is your favorite word?

pantooflas

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

shane

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

“it’s a warm up game”

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

idk the name but the last one i can remember is Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

gray, and pale yellow 

87) What is your current desktop picture?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

nothing tbh ask away i’ll always be honest

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go to sleep 

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the power to always be right

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I think I would like to re-live the night of my first date with Shane (we went to the carnival and it was gr8)

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i think they were all important in my growth/development so none

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmmmm im good dude 

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Japan

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

kind of?

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no i think i would die of embarrassment 

98) Ever been on a plane?

yes but only twice

[vsplusonline]

Virtual health care is 'not the answer for everything,' critics warn

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/virtual-health-care-is-not-the-answer-for-everything-critics-warn/

Virtual health care is 'not the answer for everything,' critics warn

TORONTO — Millions of Canadians are trying virtual health care for the first time during COVID-19 lockdowns but critics warn that it raises the risk of misdiagnosis, and could increase inappropriate prescribing and testing. Some fear it will lead to fragmented care, and could reduce health care interactions to impersonal transactions.

Also referred to as telemedicine, digital health, or remote care, virtual health care is the administration of health care at a distance using technology – phone, video conference, or via live chat, text or email.

Quality primary care is continuous, comprehensive and co-ordinated, says Aude Motulsky, an assistant professor in the School of Public Health at the University of Montreal. The idea is a family doctor knows their patients and their stories. If, under a virtual care model, the system becomes one where patients sees a different practitioner each time, quality can suffer.

“Technology is useful, but it can’t be allowed to lead to disintegrated care.”

And rather than spreading apart the practitioner and the patient, Motulsky says sometimes the solution is bringing a clinical team together in the patient’s home. That approach has had positive outcomes in France, for instance.

“Virtual care is part of the picture but it’s not the answer to everything. It should be used where needed through a national strategy that aligns it with policies that ensure standards and quality.”

PARADIGM SHIFT

When Dr. Jacqueline Bucko first heard about Lumeca a little over a year ago she thought it was an opportunity to broaden her skills, provide health care in a new way, and be part of the vanguard of new technology rolling out in Saskatchewan.

“I just thought, everything is going virtual. Why isn’t health care?”

She had no idea how fast that would change.

Pre-pandemic, a 24-hour on-call shift might mean four consults. Now she’s doing that number in an hour. The platform went from about 100 users per week at the beginning of March to more than 10 times that now, said spokesperson Tyson Liske.

“Virtual health care has been thrust from the periphery into the mainstream. You experience it once and the paradigm shifts and a light bulb comes on,” he told CTVNews.ca during a phone call from Regina.

An initial rush of calls about potential COVID-19 symptoms has subsided and has been replaced with the type of things walk-in clinics typically see, including minor injuries, prescription renewals, rashes, and abdominal pain, says Bucko, who is also a physician at a clinic in Saskatoon that specializes in women’s health.

Patients log in to the platform, answer a series of questions and are added to a virtual waiting room. They get a notification when the doctor has joined the consultation.

Patients can upload photos and Bucko says the video resolution is such that she gets a good sense of the patient’s appearance. But asking questions and gathering a patient’s history, takes on even more importance in a virtual consultation, she says.

Liske says Lumeca had been meeting with provincial health authorities for years to try to get virtual health visits covered, without success. The coronavirus changed that in weeks.

Many of the platform’s users don’t have a primary physician or face long waits for appointments, he says. It especially fills a need for remote and First Nations communities.

Right now, Bucko finds herself often reassuring frightened people that emergency departments are safe. That’s a key role, she says, because emergencies don’t stop in a pandemic.

One story that stands out was a boy of about five who had been vomiting for three to four days whenever he ate. When Bucko was finished taking his history, she felt strongly that the youngster had something stuck in his esophagus and told the parents to get him to the ER right away.

It turned out he had a toy lodged in his throat.

Meanwhile, for Judy Clark, the pandemic meant that she couldn’t be there when her 90-year-old father was treated in hospital for pneumonia in mid-April. It also meant she couldn’t take him and her mother, 91, to their family doctor for a follow-up appointment.

A conference call was a good stand-in, says Clark, who lives in Hamilton, Ont., but she wonders if a doctor can get as complete a picture during a phone call.

“I think it really depends on the doctor and how thorough they are,” she said.

“Sometimes people don’t want to admit everything that is happening with them, especially seniors. I just think it’s easier to withhold information when talking on the phone than it is when it’s face to face.”

She also worries about virtual care leaving behind seniors and others who either don’t feel comfortable with technology or can’t afford to be connected.

THE FUTURE

A CMA-Ipsos report released in August found Canadians are generally optimistic that technology will improve health care over the next 10 years, through better access and more timely and convenient care. But they have concerns about how it is implemented, with 77 per cent citing losing the human connection of health care, 75 per cent worried about their privacy, and 71 per cent concerned about opening the door to private health.

The true power of virtual care isn’t in apps and gadgets, say experts, but in reorganizing the medical system so that individuals are empowered to manage their health better, there is much greater connectivity among all points of care, comprehensive electronic health records are easily accessible for patients, and there are a range of targeted and timely solutions that give people the information and guidance they need to make good decisions.

“I think we’re at the beginning of a huge innovation cycle and health care is just entering the space that online retailing, and Airbnb and Uber, and so many others have been aggressively rolling out for a number of years,” says Dr. Ed Brown, founder and CEO of the Ontario Telemedicine Network (OTN).

Health care is more challenging because it’s public, it’s heavily regulated, and is literally about life and death. But consumers are driving the demand for choice, nonetheless.

OTN piloted a program in which about 30,000 patients could text questions to their primary care provider. Brown says 99.9 per cent of patients said they would use it again, a satisfaction level he has never seen before. And the 275 physicians involved found it to be an efficient and effective way to communicate with patients.

OTN, which became a part of the province’s new health agency Ontario Health as of April 1, now has funding to grow the program to about 1,000 physicians.

How virtual health care has stepped in and performed in this time of crisis will not only be a massive testing ground but also a source of data, research and lessons for a generation, says Brown.

“I think people are getting a pretty good feel for what it can and can’t do. Obviously, it’s not doing surgery and it’s not giving you a needle or taking your blood, but certainly for an awful lot of things, it’s not only adequate, it’s even better.”

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[askwwwwd]

WHAT WOULD WONDER WOMAN DO?...about the Westboro Baptist Church (Originally posted Feb. 11, 2016)

The vitriol with which they spew their venomous zealotry has made them a national household name, and rightfully so. That’s right, the Westboro Baptist Church is at it again. They claimed to be going to San Francisco last weekend, for the 50th annual SuperBowl, and pledged to picket last Saturday morning’s book signing of Square Zair Pair, A new children’s book by Journalist of The Year award winner Jase Peeples. The writer received multiple threats of picket. However, one can’t help but wonder...Why a children’s book? Well, I think it is pretty clear that the ‘Church,’ which has been deemed a hate group by both the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center, has proven that they are not above much in this world. Founder Fred Phelps was first brought national attention in 1998 during his picket of the funeral of Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming man who was killed for being gay. The church’s fire and brimstone antics have continued even after Fred Phelps’ excommunication and subsequent death. Matter of fact, their picketing of funerals and LGBTQ events has become happenstance in America. Sadly, they vowed to turn their attention to children last weekend. Mostly because Peeples’ Zair Square Pair delivers a message about the importance of acceptance and diversity, and that is a message, in the words of the WBC, that “God Hates.” I personally come from a strict Pentecostal Christian upbringing. So, the group has both fascinated and confounded me for a very long time. As with everything in life that confounds me, I continue to pose the same question. Today I ask, in the case of the Westboro Baptist Church: What Would Wonder Woman Do?

Both are creatures of myth and story (yes, I said it). Both are products of divine birth. Both were gifted with divine powers. Both charged by the almighty(s) to show the world a better way. If you’re wondering who I’m talking about it’s Jesus of Nazareth (Jesus Christ) and Diana of Themyscira (aka Wonder Woman). Many aren’t aware of the clear and direct Messiah-like parallels of her story, but I’m here to tell you that they are there. Or at least they were there for the character’s first 70 or so years prior to DC Comics’ ‘New 52’ revamp...

Dr. William Moulton Marston III’s depiction of Wonder Woman’s divine birth, but that’s fodder for another article. Today I’m going to concentrate on the character’s first 70 years with an emphasis on Dr. Marston’s original creation. Because ultimately, that’s the source material and what I believe for what Wonder Woman was intended. In my humble opinion, the ideals of Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman are complimentary and very near to be equally parallel. Since the WBC has claimed to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, I figured I would take their most popular three word slogan “GOD HATES FAGS” and utilize it as a template, to compare: a) their Lord and savior’s message, b) Wonder Woman’s message and c) how the church falls in line with said doctrine. All in an effort to lead me to an answer of ‘what Wonder Woman would do’. Okay,...here we go!

FIRST WORD: ‘GOD’ – Who is this God in the bible that the Westboro Church follows? The Christian faith says that God is three in one: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. So, when referring to Jesus Christ we are also referring to God. Well, the bible also gave a very clear and direct definition of who God is. In 1 John 4:8 says that “...God is Love.” (Siri, create a Reminder for me to thank John for being so thoughtful and breaking it down for us). Ok, so how does the bible actually define love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says that, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” By these definitions, God is love and love is exhibiting goodness and kindness...Seems pretty simple to me, right? Dr. Marston also seemed to have similar views.

In the previous photo, Marston’s Wonder Woman proved to the personifications of Love and Wisdom (Aphrodite & Athena), that she was worthy to have people obey her, due to her mastery of love and wisdom. Essentially, in one panel, Marston made a clear statement that Diana being of service to love and wisdom was the prerequisite for her to lead. His character was literally governed by the two ideals, and was commanded to lead with love and wisdom. Seeing this panel really blew my mind on so many levels. Those who I personally consider to be some of the greatest and most memorable writers of Wonder Woman (Perez, Jimenez, Rucka, Simone, Badower, etc.) continued to expand upon Marston’s idea of Wonder Woman being a creature governed by love and wisdom. It’s very clear, to me and in my opinion, that both God and Wonder Woman have love as their foundation. I have yet to see a display of that kind of love (patience, kindness, etc.) from the Westboro Baptist Church. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure if they are aware, but the Westboro Baptist Church has exhibited the equal and exact opposite of every single description Corinthians gave of what love is supposed to be. Especially with the word ‘hate’ being at the nexus of their most popular slogan. Which brings me to the next word in today’s template for examination...

SECOND WORD: ‘HATES’ – I can’t blame the Westboro Baptist Church for concentrating on this particular word. Hate is actually mentioned often in the bible, and they do a very great job of listing many of the mentions of hate in the good book. There is a definite through line of ideas about hate weaved through the holy text. Though ultimately, if you ‘hate’ and claim to be a follower of Christ then you, “...shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 50: 20-21. This passage is conveniently left out of the Westboro Baptist Church’s list of hate mentions. God (Jesus) also told us himself (directly) that one of the greatest commandments was to love our neighbor as ourselves, and John 3:14- 15 says that, “...Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart.” And aren’t we all brothers and sisters in the Lord? So, if I’m correct, God pretty much sees hate as a sin, because “Vengance is MINE sayeth the Lord.” Romans 12:19.

It seems to me that Wonder Woman continues to reflect similar principles of loving everyone regardless. Marston exemplified his intention with Wonder Woman when he has her saying things like, “...keep your hands extended to all in friendliness but never holding the gun of persecution and intolerance.” I personally don’t see any kind of ambivalence there. It’s very cut and dry; always be friendly and don’t persecute or be intolerant. Three words sum it up for me: Don’t hate people. That’s were Wonder Woman seemed to stand in my eyes. It’s a stance that once again parallels what I’ve garnered to be the bible’s. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the interpretation of the Westboro Baptist Church with their “God Hates Everyone” slogans. Moving on...

FAGS – This is not a word I would use in mixed company. I believe it to be common knowledge that usage of the word ‘fag’ is clearly one meant to be derogatory towards homosexuals. Since today I’m comparing Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman (a comparison I know for which I’m probably going to catch a little heat), I’ll defer to what each of them has said in their books. Because I feel it is always better to get information ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’. Otherwise, you run the risk of playing the telephone game. First, let’s look at Diana. She was always an advocate for all people. In the previous panel she talked about learning love and respect for human rights. Since Marston did spend some time as a Hollywood writer of sorts, and he was consistently liberal with his views (especially on relationships...*cough-cough*), I can only speculate that he was in support of LGBTQ rights. Some of the greats expanded upon this idea as well. Perez introduced a gay couple with whom Diana spent time, Jimenez reinforced this, and Rucka eluded to a possible gay relationship. But it was Jason Badower who had Diana come right out and say the obvious. In Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman issue #48, she says to Superman, “Clark, my country is all women. To us, it’s not ‘gay’ marriage...Its just marriage.” Jesus Christ was also very good at articulating his stance on gays. He said....oh wait. That’s right. He didn’t say anything at all. Well, I guess that’s that.

I can’t help but notice that the WBC continually puts special emphasis on the word ‘fag’ and systematically adds it to the majority of their phrases describing sinners. Again, just to clarify, they do not attribute this singularly as a derogatory adjective describing gays, but to most things describing sin... curious. My guess is that if I had the magic lasso and wrapped it around Shirley Phelps, she would reveal that my longtime theory is true. My theory is that Fred Phelps was actually a closet homosexual, who in the last year of his life started coming to terms with how harmful it is to hang on to hate. Then when he decided a love based approached was more appropriate, and revealed this new discovery and updated philosophy to Shirley Phelps she excommunicated him from the church in August of 2013. I can just see the knee jerk reaction someone would have when being on the receiving end of that information. I can only imagine how painful it would be to have the foundation of your entire value system be pulled out from beneath you in one fail swoop. Denial via excommunication would be a totally logical and instinctual action in these circumstances. Yes, this is probably the most obvious answer, because it has been proven time and time again, that those who dig in their heels the deepest, and are the strongest advocates against homosexuality; it is those are who are usually struggling with it the most. So, yeah I think that the Westboro Baptist Church is based on the beliefs of a closet homosexual. Why else would “the lady doeth protest too much?” But again, it is just a theory and I could be way off here. Regardless, it’s plain to see that once again, the ideals of Jesus Christ and Wonder Woman appear to line up almost perfectly. While the Westboro Baptist Church’s do not.

So what I’ve learned here today is that in my eyes, the Westboro Baptist Church doesn’t seem to line up with the principles of Jesus Christ. Yet, they are principles Wonder Woman seems to continually parallel. I find that it is unfortunate that a pagan seems to embrace and uphold the principles of Jesus Christ better than a group that claims to serve him. We have seen the group behave unapologetically offensive, express hate, and insight anger and discord in people. So, what would Wonder Woman do? In the previous, we saw that Wonder Woman is of service to love and wisdom via her greatest weapon: truth. I realize that we don’t all serve the same God, but something tells me that isn’t the case in this situation and that there is a clear and identifiable inauthenticity going on here. I think that Wonder Woman, although always prepared for battle and having the power to do what is necessary, would see through the veil of inauthenticity and would first extend her hand in friendliness. Gail Simone had a fantastic quote coming straight from Wonder Woman’s mouth that exemplified this: “Don’t kill if you can wound, Don’t wound if you can subdue, Don’t subdue if you can pacify, and don’t raise your hand at all until you’ve first extended it.” I think that Wonder Woman would always look for truth in the situation. That she would inspire conversation and debate, very much the way that Rucka depicted her in her Reflections book tour. I think that Wonder Woman would see through this hate, and would use Aikido like principles via her greatest weapon of truth to redirect this hate into love. But do not ever take Diana’s mastery of love and wisdom to be a sign of weakness. Love is never weakness, it is strength and power personified that always wins over hate and war. The Westboro Baptist church proved that when they didn’t show last Saturday to Jase Peeples’ book signing, as reported by theHuffington Post. Jase had organized an anti-Hate rally to combat the ‘church’s message of hate with one of love and acceptance. Peeples wrote on his invitation that he wanted to combat their message of hate with one of acceptance and love, and was prepared to engage in actual open conversation. The church of hate knew what was in store for them. They knew this was a loosing battle because like each and every time #LoveWins!

You can check out and purchase Peeples’ book on Amazon and a big thanks to the Westboro Baptist Church for giving the publicity to the book and helping to spread the message of diversity, acceptance, and love.

[traciedemars]

When is a pre-approval a pre-approval...and when isn’t it?

Upcoming Free (& non-promotional) Home Buyer Classes:

Saturday February 24th , from 11am - 2pm (ish)

        Vancouver YMCA, conference room

       11324 NE 51st Cir, Vancouver WA (off SR500 at 112th St & Gher Road)

Saturday, March 3rd, from 9am-12pm (ish)        Marshall Community Center, conference room        1009 E. McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College)

If these class dates and/or times don't work for you, please let us know.  We understand that you have lives, and families, and work.  We will work something out that works better with your schedule.  Just let us know....                                                                                  

....we also have home seller classes available too...link on left on website

                   Remember...with reservation...we will throw in lunch, or dinner

Happy Sunday evening....or Monday Morning...depending on when you see this.  :-)

  I want to start this week asking for YOUR pictures for a 2019 calendar.  At the Client Appreciation event this December, we are going to offer a calendar for this next year, but we don't want to just put together the boring, standard calendar with the pictures that everyone has.... we want our calendar to be yours... with your pictures.  So, email me your pictures... going hiking?  Send the picture.  Going to a fun local event?... send us a picture.  See a beautiful sunrise?  a stunning sunset?  something that just takes your breath away?  Email me those photos to

traciedemars@aol.com

.  I will put them on the 'Tracie DeMars Real Estate' facebook page, and those pictures with the most 'likes' will get put into the calendar, and the sender of the winning photo gets a gift card out of my 'gift card stash'.

So, what to talk about this week?  How about the current market pretty quick?  

  The market is pretty crazy pretty early this year.  The mild winter seems to have brought on the 'homebuying season' earlier this year.  Last year, the market didn't get crazy until mid-April, and we had a pretty hard winter.  What we also seem to have this year (as early as it is) is some volatility with the interest rates, and they have gone up quite a bit.  This is something that we have been talking about and hopefully preparing for though.  Spring season always seems to bring this up as the market heats up... just seems to have happened earlier this year.  

    What this means for you is that when you get pre-approved to make sure that your lender is taking into account that interest rates are pretty volatile currently.  Please remember that your lender can not lock in your interest rate until you are about 30 days from closing.  Interest rate fluctuations could affect your pre-approval, so if you have any questions...please talk to your lender.  

  A pre-approval is a snapshot of your current financial situation...as we have talked about in the past.  An actual pre-approval is where you have sat down with a lender and provided concrete evidence of your finances...  your last couple of paycheck stubs, your last couple of bank statements, your social security numbers to the lender for approval to pull your credit score, verification of employment, and of course, your last couple of years of W2's/tax information.  

  A pre-approval only means that, based on the information you have provided to your lender, that you 'could' buy a home if you find a home and get a signed around, agreed upon, purchase sale agreement.  It does NOT mean that you are guaranteed to buy a home... because sometimes people change their financial situation... and don't get a home.  DON'T change your financial situation!  Do not cut your work hours, and on the flip side... do not start working a whole bunch of overtime if you are using a loan program that has an income cap. Do NOT go buy appliances, or furniture. Do NOT go buy a new car, or a boat...or get any new loans.  NO new credit cards.  Do NOT quit your job.  Do NOT spend the money you need to buy a home....and yes, even if you are using a program that will help with your down payment, or closing costs... you still need money to buy a home...

Some things you Do want to do.. Please...by all that is holy... PLEASE continue to pay your bills...ON TIME!  I can stress this enough.  Paying your bills on time is 33% of your credit score.  Any questions on what you can/can not or should/should not do while in the process of buying a home?  Contact your lender...  

PLEASE use a local lender, someone you, and your agent, can contact...this is very important. 

  So, when isn't a pre-approval a pre-approval?  A pre-approval is like the golden ticket in American Idol...it means you are on to the next step...which is meeting with your Realtor and going out to find a home.  A pre-approval does not mean that you have won American Idol and that it's time to get groupies... it's just the second step in the process.  A pre-approval is never concrete... you still have to do your part in keeping it up, and keeping your financial situation the same, or better.  Until you receive keys from your Realtor...anything can happen.  There's a reason I don't drink much, my friend...it's because sometimes I think that if I start...I won't stop!     A non-approval is one that hasn't been verified by concrete evidence (those papers I mentioned above).  For some, a non-approval is one that hasn't been looked at by underwriters.  A non-approval is one that has been expired.  A pre-approval is consistently updated throughout the home buying process.  You get pre-approved... you meet with your Realtor....you find a home.  You make an offer (hopefully the offer gets accepted), but once the offer has been accepted, your Realtor sends the purchase/sale agreement to your lender.  At this point your lender will contact you to congratulate you on finding a home...and ask you to come in to sign loan disclosures.  Now that you have a signed around agreement to buy a home, your lender can actually start your loan.  This is awesome, and where your fabulous lender takes over to help you get that home.     If it has been some time since you got pre-approved, and you haven't found a home yet...or decided to wait ...now would be a good time to re-connect with your lender to check on your pre-approval, and update it.  Times...they are a-changing... as always.  

**as a quick reminder...all home buying adventures should START with the Home Buyer Education Classes.    Don't talk with lenders, and agents until after the classes so you know the questions to ask, what the paperwork means, and fully understand the process.  As always though...the classes are Free and Non-Promotional.  We are not there to promote ourselves or any 'special' agenda like some classes, and while we certainly hope you will call Chris or I, or both of us, to help with your home buying adventure, that certainly isn't the main focus of the classes.  :-)  We are, both of us, as always, here to help!

              Information is power, and I hope that I am able to help you.  Good luck, and as always...

May the odds be ever in your favor out there

....  AND If you are looking for a real estate agent, I would love to be able to help you.                                                                              As always....this is just a quick overview.... again...and I can't say this enough...please remember that your agent is NOT a salesperson, and should not be acting like one.  Real Estate is not really about houses, it is about relationships.  Your agent, and your lender work for YOU.  You drive the bus...we are merely GPS to help you get to your goals.  Like the classes, this weekly blog email is to help you with your home adventure.  The goal is to be informative and non-promotional.  :-)  We are, however, hoping you will call and want us to help with your adventure.  

If you have any questions about this, or something you have heard...or if you would like me to help you with your home adventure, please call, email,  text, or facebook me anytime.  I am, as always, happy to help!   Thank you again for your business and your referrals!!  ...and thank you for referring these classes to your friends, family, and co-workers.     .   ..disclaimer...if you have already purchased a home, or would no longer like to receive these emails, please let me know and I will be happy to remove you from any further mailings...      Upcoming Topics: What happens after an offer is made? or  

                              When is the pre-approval, not a pre-approval?

Last Week:  Escrow Accounts?

Have a great day, and I will talk to you soon,   

;-D   

Tracie DeMars   

Real Estate broker 

Re/Max - Van Mall   

360/ 903-3504 cell   

360/ 882-3600 fax   

www.traciedemars.com

traciedemars@aol.com

“Interested in free and non promotional home education classes?  Go to www.freehomebuyerclasses.com for local upcoming home buyer and home SELLER classes, or facebook: Tracie DeMars Real Estate for my home buyer education blog.”

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."    

   - Shel Silverstein, American poet, cartoonist and composer, (1930 - 1999).

[carinaclicksaway-blog]

Dissertation tutorial - Proposal feedback

I have found throughout this degree that recording tutorials and critiques are the best way for me to absorb information, especially on complex topics such as a dissertation. Quickly written notes are ok but it is often the case that when I come back to them and they have become obscure and meaningless. Here is the audio recording of  my Lecturer, Dr Matt Bowman and I discussing areas of my proposal and some points on my dissertation research. A result of which I have returned to Allan Sekula’s essay, “On the Invention of Photographic Meaning” and Arthur Danto’s book, “The Transfiguration of the Commonplace” in an attempt to understand the meaning of the photograph and how it is derived. I will use this to discuss the theories behind the value and meaning of photographs in the dissertation. As mentioned in the discussing with Dr Bowman, I find that breaking down theories is like multi-tasking and I often feel like I am balancing many theories at once to try and decipher them all. Hopefully the answers to my questions on value, meaning and allegory will be within these texts! 

MB: Theres a couple of things that I was thinking about in relation to the dissertation. Partly to do with chapter 1 and chapter 3. At the moment Chapter is looking like possibly the thinnest chapter. It may not be that after research has deepened or not; but the possibility at the moment is that chapter 1 is posing the question and that’s all it is doing. Perhaps it will go down the line of, heres an example of one photograph and heres an example of another photograph and so on, what’s the difference? And in some ways if that’s all that chapter 1 is doing then in a way you could do that in the introduction very quickly. You could use your proposal example of Waitrose and Irvine Penn and say that this is your initial starting point. Here I have two photographs of food. They are valued in different ways and that could be a good way of kicking off your dissertation. If it becomes difficult in making it a full blown chapter in itself then it becomes a question of, what will I do with the chapter as it stands? So if it does become quite thin and if there’s not that much you can do to give it that kind of depth then chapter 2 will be your chapter 1.  You could say, introduction; here’s two types of photography. What kind of differences do they have and why? Lets start thinking about the role of food photography… Chapter 1. See how you go with that at the time being and how your research develops.

CI: When I was writing the proposal I was thinking along the same lines. Reading it back I could see how the introduction blurred into chapter 1. I totally agree with your comments. I don’t want it to be, what’s the difference and battling back and forth between images. I wont be able to construct a proper argument to kick off chapter 2 and so on.

MB: Chapter 2 is a good firm basis. Chapter 3 might be where things get a bit tricky again. The proof will be in the pudding as they say! Which is the ideal metaphor for talking about your dissertation. You have Roland Barthes appearing in Chapter 3. You also have Tillmans, Shore, Parr and Letinsky. The difficulty might be that it is far too much to get into a chapter. Barthes is hard work in any case. When you use Barthes in any writing you need to show that you understand Barthes. Looking at quotations from him and explaining to the reader what this means and why it is relevant.

CI: If I picked three photographers from that list could I unpick them using Barthes?

MB: That could be a possibility. They could become interconnected in a way using a photographers and Barthes could follow it on from those photographers. For example, to help us understand Martin Parr photograph lets look at Roland Barthes essay. That could be a way to make things more interwoven. A great kind of question would be for any dissertation when writing about at history is, “if you could use theory where do you put it?” If you see philosophers talk about art, very often what they do is spend half the time talking about philosophy and then shove in some artworks and then spend the other half talking about philosophy. That can become quite mechanical in a way. Art historians sometimes talk about artworks whilst trying to attach some philosophy to it and that too can be quite mechanical. The ideal and hardest thing to do, and it mostly fails unless you are really really good at it, is talk about art and theory at the same time as if the art is the theory and the theory is the art.

CI: I do feel like I’m multi-tasking when I’m trying to explain and understand Barthes essays. Barthes will bring up one thing and I feel like I have to balance three or four theories in my head to understand it. The only way I can understand it it to take each part individually.

MB: He’s deeply theoretical and deeply historical and really attentive to the artwork simultaneously. So if he’s talking about Walter Benjamins theory of allegory in relation to romanticism of Casper David Friedrich it doesn’t feel like he’s added Benjamin to Friedrich, it feels like Friedrich was already a Benjaminian a hundred odd years before Benjamin was even born. It shows how Friedrich is already a Benjaminian painter, study him and thinks in the same way even though Benjamin doesn’t exist yet. That is the trick of writing. TJ Clark is also a great writer who knows a lot of theory, is well versed in Marxism and yet when you read his essays and books at his best it doesn’t feel like he’s applying Marxism to French painting or a Picasso. It feels like it is already there in the painting. It is very hard to do it in writing convincing which is why Joseph Leo Koener and T.J. Clark are some of the finest writers on art. Another way of going about it for example, if your chapter 2 is chapter 1 then you have a missing chapter. What else can you do with the missing research?

CI: I see what you mean now. chapter 1 could easily be the introduction. Talking about the comparisons of photographs. Chapter 1 could begin at the beginning and I could start by referring to Roman alfresco and going back through history and look at the progression of food through history. You don’t think that an alfresco could be a still life. You automatically envisage a bowl of fruit on a table by a dutch master. An alfresco for example was a document rather than the feature itself. Somewhat inconsequential. That could be the link into food in photography. Similar to what you mentioned before, that food in photography is not about the food. It is always about something else.

MB: Yes. In a way what this dissertation is doing is partly trying to understand the difference between the Waitrose photograph and the Irvine Penn photograph. But probably more forcefully, what it is trying to understand why the Irvine Penn photograph is of any interest whatsoever. I think the Penn is more important (than the sword. Ha ha!) and the Waitrose isn’t.

CI: There are the obvious visual comparisons. The spoon and lettuce etc. Bar the advertising text what is the difference? Like you said, “The meaning isn’t the image, it’s the writing next to it.” I will need to research more and understand why Penn’s image is more superior. Is it because Penn is who he is?

MB: The puzzle that you have set yourself is effectively one that is extra visual and by that I mean it is outside of a visual object. I recommend reading Arthur Danto’s, “The Transfiguration of the Commonplace.” In his first chapter he imagines an exhibition and in this exhibition they are all identical red paintings. There is no visual difference in them whatsoever. One painting is an abstract canvas, a modernist work. Another painting is called, “Egyptians growing in the Red Sea”, that depicts the Egyptians trying to escape from the Israelites. Another painting is called the artists mood and it is about how the artist feels on that day. Was it passion or nirvana? Another painting is actually unfinished and the artist had painted the canvas red as many Renaissance painters did first before painting a picture of Jesus or a landscape. Another painting isn’t even a painting. it is a piece that has broken off from somewhere. They are all visually identical and Danto’s question is, “How can we tell the difference between all of these different paintings? How can there even be a difference? They all look exactly the same. The are all visually identical but all have different meanings.” Danto’s answer to the question is, “Looking at these things is not helpful. Reading about them is. Knowing about their context. How they are valued. That is what tells you about them and the value. He also thinks about this in terms of Andy Warhol and the Brillo Boxes that he exhibited in 1964. Made out of plywood and screen-printed. They are visually similar to the brillo boxes that you can find in a shop back then. Warhols one are works of art but the ones in the shops are not. If Warhol decided to use cardboard and the shop version was made from plywood, Warhols would still be works of art. It is art theory and its position in the art world, the way things are valued by galleries and museums. That what defines something as that thing. Irvine Penn is respected in the art world, respected photographer, a key figure and his place within a context. Irvine Penn is only considered as a great photographer because he’s been valued by the art world. So the art world has given him value and significance.

CI: It is odd how one is viewed as more talented than the other…

MB: …Not more talented but judged more favourably. You could look at the Waitrose photograph and say that it is a better photograph than the Irvine Penn photograph. It can well be a better photograph but it doesn’t tell you how it categorises as a photo.

CI: There is no meaning in the Waitrose photograph.

MB: It’s purely for advertising purposes.

CI: Penn’s photograph is more than just visual advertising stimulation. When we were discussing, The Steerage, the basic visuals show that someone is taking a picture of how the classes are. Am I correct in thinking that it was about the lines and circles and attract form. The lettuce looks like an abstract form. MB: Look at Allan Sekula’s essay, “On the invention of Photographic Meaning”. Sekula wrote this essay in the mid 70’s and it appears in a book by Victor Burgin. Sekula looking at two photographers, Alfred Stieglitz and Lewis Hine. Sekula is looking at Stieglitz, who’s an art photographer lending towards modernism and abstraction. Hine is a bit of a documentary photographer. His photographs a led towards social justice and poverty. When Stieglitz takes the picture of The Steerage, it can be looked upon as documentary photography but it is not. Sekula's question essentially is, “What happens if Stieglitz is a documentary photographer with the photographs he has taken and what happens when we imagine Hine as an art photographer? How do photographs have meanings in the first place?” The answer being that photographs do not have meanings. Meaning is not something in photography. Meaning is something given to photographs. Photographs are meaningless until they are given meaning by museums, galleries, the photographer even.

CI: Can the photographer be the one to define that meaning or does it have to be defined by the museum or art world?

MB: Sekula’s answer to that would be, for the most part the photographer will fail to give a meaning to the photograph because photographs are inherently meaningless and ambiguous. The only way the photographer can give meaning to a photograph is to introduce text, information that fixes the photographs meaning. Which is why when you go to an Allan Sekula exhibition there are lots of photographs and lots of text. Sekula does not want his photographs to be misunderstood and wants to fix the meaning in a trance. The interplay of text and photography is utterly essential for him and he takes that from Roland Barthes. Look at Sekula’s essay again, On the invention of Photographic Meaning. That could give you a way of understanding how we get a distinction between the differences. Danto and Sekula have already given you an answer. A framework in effect for resolving this issue.

“We can only appreciate food as art when we’re not hungry!”

[faithful-grigori]

”#Thank you for coming to my TED talk about Gene Kelly and Bruce Wayne lol, #The text in the photo is not really important is just Clark talking about bringing a pie and being late from a wild fire and, #And gushing about Alfred's hardwork setting up the party which is a labor day party for the league”

Listen I've been watching a lot of movies with Gene Kelly lately and just wanted to dress up Clark as him. Even tho I think Gene Kelly looks more like Bruce or Brucie Wayne.

And if were talking about dance styles as a character study there could be a great case that Gene Kelly's dance style of using his whole body would be much more Bruce than Fred Astaire who Gene is often compared to who's dance style which is more foot-centric.

But Gene Kelly was known for dressing as the everyday man for his time and that's more Clark. Which doesn't matter.

Point being I bet Bruce has watched a lot of Gene Kelly movies with Alfred and you best believe if DC would allow a universe where Bruce could be at least bi he'd have a little bit of a crush on Gene when growing up and seeing his crush in the same atrie well ...

[esmeralda-anistasia]

#Thank you for coming to my TED talk about Gene Kelly and Bruce Wayne lol#The text in the photo is not really important is just Clark talking about bringing a pie and being late from a wild fire and#And gushing about Alfred's hardwork setting up the party which is a labor day party for the league

Listen I've been watching a lot of movies with Gene Kelly lately and just wanted to dress up Clark as him. Even tho I think Gene Kelly looks more like Bruce or Brucie Wayne.

And if were talking about dance styles as a character study there could be a great case that Gene Kelly's dance style of using his whole body would be much more Bruce than Fred Astaire who Gene is often compared to who's dance style which is more foot-centric.

But Gene Kelly was known for dressing as the everyday man for his time and that's more Clark. Which doesn't matter.

Point being I bet Bruce has watched a lot of Gene Kelly movies with Alfred and you best believe if DC would allow a universe where Bruce could be at least bi he'd have a little bit of a crush on Gene when growing up and seeing his crush in the same atrie well ...