#The idea that there was an order on the chips to fuck the jedi

[saggitary]

Order 69

I want a fic about the clone wars where everything is the same, except the Kaminoans had a small miscommunication and told Palpatine the Jedi kill order was Order 69 instead of Order 66. Instead of trying to kill their Jedi COs, the clone are now trying to seduce them and sleep with them. 

Fun little musings for a few legions if you would like 

212th

“The time has come Commander. Execute Order 69.”

“It will be done my lord.” Cody slips his helmet off. “Hey General.”

Obi-Wan looks around in confusion as Careless Whisper begins to play from an unknown source

The rest of the battalion watch as Cody quite literally sweeps their Jedi General off his feet and carry him back into the base

None of them have seen Kenobi that red in the face

“Do we need to... do anything? About the order I mean?” A shiny asks

“I think the Commander has it covered.” Boil responds

327th

“Execute order 69″

“Kriffing finally” Bly responds before shutting off his com

Palpatine stares at the dark com device for a few moments. That was unexpected

The Separatists are cleaned out in record time on Felucia, almost entirely by Commander Bly himself 

Aayla didn’t think she had every seen her commander so driven by anything, it truly was impressive

No one sees Bly or their General for a long time when they finally get back to camp

104th

Plo Koon is not with the 104th when the order goes out

He is also in a star fighter and by the time he gets back to the ground the battalion he is with is panicking because Plo Koon isn’t their regular General and Wolffe would kill them

By the time Plo returns to his men the issue has been resolved

157th (Billaba’s Legion)

“Execute order 69″

Grey put away his com device before walking towards his general where she was currently talking to Caleb and Clone Force 99

“Well shall we let them do what they-oh!”

Grey wrapped an arm around Depa’s waist and dropped her into a dip before kissing her

Caleb and the whole of Clone Force 99 stared at the two making out infront of them with either horror or confusion

Echo clapped his hand over Caleb’s eyes

“I can still sense it”

“Sorry kid”

332nd

Ahsoka was very confused, one minute Rex was looking more panicked than she had ever seen him, now…

Now he had calmed down considerably and had begun... flirting with her?

She was very weirded out because it definitely sounded like flirting, why her brother was flirting with her was beyond her

Then Jesse, ever the womanizer, had strutted into the com bay and she had been truly disturbed

As soon as she could she escaped her weird brothers and went to look up the file Rex had said, one about Fives

She called both Rex and Jesse to her location and prompt whacked them both on the head before getting their chips out

Both were extremely horrified that they had tried to flirt with their sister and apologized a lot

Now that Ahsoka knew what was happening she found it really kriffing funny

They quickly spread the word about the chips to the rest of the GAR

501st

As soon as Anakin, freshly fallen to the dark side, marched into the hangar where his men were waiting he felt like something was different

He led his COs to the com table to go over their strategy to attack the temple and to cover all entrances 

Appo siddled close, leaning forward to trap Vader against the com table with both his arms

Vader’s mind short circuited and lets just say that the march on the jedi temple did not happen

Morning After

Cody wakes up with Obi-Wan sleeping on his chest and his com blinking at him from the side of the cot

What the kriff did Rex mean by control chips?

[michi-beans]

I am taking your star wars and making it happy because it's too sad.

☆ brain thoughts:

》 Din was taken in and trained by Jango & Jaster instead of the Children of the Watch

》 everyone is ALIVE everyone is HAPPY and the only bad joojoo that happens is typical war stuff minus the empire, fuck you palpatine ya ain't hurting my babies

》 because this is my au and it's my rules, I say the Jedi Order have some sort of rule that only Jedi Masters can have "attachments" which Obi-Wan said fuck yeah and married the heck outta Jango. Later on with the usual Council being shit to Anakin and refusing to make him a Master, I say he ends up leaving the order and lives a life with Padme and his now mixed Mandalorian family because that boy has been through shit.

》 my favorite trope for Jangobi getting together is either of them having to return their kid back to the other because they're troublemaker gremlins and they bond over their babies, stop a war, save their clone army kids from evil old man chip and then boom they perform riduurok.

》 this is basically my excuse to draw baby Din and baby Boba together and growing up and being trained plus Boba pinning over his cute friend. They earn their armor and run off to be bounty hunters together

》 Korda Six still happened but Jaster survived because I say so and instead of trying to reclaim the title of Mand'alor he goes fuck this shit, come here son we're living the life of beroya and off they go

And that's pretty much it, my brain has been scream at me to continue this doodle I did a while ago so here it is. I have no idea what I'm doing with this my brain just wants me to draw some bobadin and jangobi doodles.

Also have a bonus baby Fennec :)

[awkward-tension-art]

Order 66 (tbb x Jedi!reader)

Ok, so i’ve had this idea in my head of the clones with a Jedi S/O during Order 66. I don’t mean they act on Order 66, I mean if everything sorta played out similar in canon (Chip doesn’t work)

Idk, I like me some protective boys.

CW: minimally proofread, jedi!S/O, Reader, Gender neutral pronouns, Order 66, violence, death, swearing, Hunter trying his best, Wrecker being a sweetie, Echo is ready to fight, Tech is the only one who is level headed, and Crosshair being somewhat emotional

You were following Caleb when the order came through. Your steps stumbled and your knees hit the cold ground. All around you, the Force was being ripped apart. Hands were on your shoulders. 

your lover. You barely realized through the haze.

With absolute horror, you watched helplessly as clones gunned down Depa Billaba. “Run Caleb!” You heard her scream through the overwhelming grief and death you felt. The padawan turned, lightsaber ready. 

“Get away from us!” he barked, calling your name, “Get up! Please!”

He was panicked, confused. So were you. 

You managed to look up, seeing the clone troopers across the field standing over Master Billaba’s smoking corpse. They were prepping to kill you and the padawan next.

Without another word you bolted, grabbing Caleb’s hand and sprinting to the trees. You didn’t look back. You had to make sure the kid was safe.

Hunter

“Wait!” He’ll give chase before stopping at the tree line. He had never seen you look so devastated and afraid. 

He’s going to follow you. Of course he is. He’s just as confused as everyone else. 

Until Tech finally finds out what's going on

“The Jedi have been ordered to be executed.” “Which one?” “All of them.”

“What!? Why!?” Hunter is panicked at this point. The troopers behind him have orders to kill. They won’t show you mercy. 

“Apparently they’ve committed treason.”

By the time he finds you, Caleb had already jumped across the ravine and was waiting for you. You turned, tears in your eyes.

“I can feel it…everyone is being killed.” 

“We’re going to figure this out,” He’s going to try and calm you down, “I promise, we’re going to figure this out.” His arms are around you. 

It wasn’t safe for you. Not anywhere near him and the others. He knows this. You know this. 

The two of you come up with a hurried plan.

“Go to these coordinates. Once we know what's going on, I’ll come find you.” He’ll kiss you passionately, “Get the kid and hide.” 

Hunter won’t go with you. He’s the squad leader. He can’t just go missing. 

Despite the fear that you’ll be found out, he trusts you and your skills to stay alive.

Once you jump across, he’ll watch, make sure no one follows or tries to shoot at you. 

Once he’s questioned on your whereabouts, he’s going to lie, “I managed to stab the kid and shoot the Jedi. both of them fell into the water.”

I will say, his nerves are shot until he gets to you again. 

But in the meanwhile? He’s antsy. Anxious and a tad distracted.

Also a hairs trigger from snapping.

Crosshair badgers him at Kamino and Hunter barely holds back a punch.

Hunter loves you, so damn dearly. And right now he can’t protect you because he needs to figure out what the fuck is going on.

But, after finding the truth and getting Omega, he makes a damn beeline for the coordinates he gave you.

Plus side? Caleb and Omega become friends.

Echo

What the FUCK just happend!?

He sprints into the trees to keep up, ignoring how Hunter is calling his name. 

“Echo, get back here!” 

“No.” He will cut off his comms. 

He’s an ARC trooper, he can track you to a degree. He’s not like Hunter, but he gets to the general area where you are. 

He manages to get to a clearing where you and Caleb are hiding in the trees. 

“Cyare!” Echo is clearly confused, worried and he swears he feels the same amount of death that’s overwhelmed you. 

Once you reveal yourself, his helmet is off and his arms are around you so tightly.

“I don’t know what's going on, but I’ll keep you and Commander Dume safe.”

Hunter and Crosshair catch up to you, and once Crosshair aims his blaster at you and Caleb, Echo is ready to brawl. 

He stands protectively in front of you, gun aimed at the sniper, “If your skinny ass doesn’t put the fucking gun away I swear to-!”

“Both of you stand down!” Hunter will have to get between them, because Echo is 100% willing to shoot Crosshair if it means you stay safe. 

He’s not aware Crosshair doesn't exactly have a choice at the moment.

Really no one is aware.

But he’s lost domino squad, he’s lost Fives, he's lost legion, right now his former general is probably being killed…He’s lost so much already.

He refuses to lose you too.

So Echo pulls the trigger first, settling on stunning him and making a dash towards the ravine. Hunter has to keep up.

Once Caleb is across, he’ll get meetup coordinates from Hunter.

Echo goes with you. He doesn’t return to Kamino. The moment he's across the ravine with you and Caleb he’s a deserter. 

He doesn’t care. He just doesn’t want to lose you.

He’s a strong, determined guard, and one who didn’t let you or Caleb get hurt.

Wrecker

He casts a glance at Hunter before running off after you. 

He has no idea what Order 66 is. Nor does he care.

The guy saw you so…out of it. So scared and confused.

His protective instincts have geared up to 11. 

Hunter goes with him, while Crosshair is the one who remains behind to stall.

Once Tech informs everyone that the Jedi have been named traitors and should be executed on sight, Wrecker gets serious. Very serious. 

He becomes so unlike himself, even Crosshair is surprised.

Honestly? I see Wrecker as someone willing to gun down any ‘reg’ if they’re threatening his squad or s/o. 

Even this early into the Empire.

When he sees you, he’s immediately grabbing you into his arms which causes Caleb to attack.

Admittedly he’s gonna tackle Caleb, only adding to the poor kids terror. 

“Wrecker, you're scaring him!” 

But after a strong bear hug and an “Easy kid! I’m tryna help you!” The padawan calms down enough to listen. 

He puts Caleb down, rips off his helmet and gives you one hell of a kiss. 

He’s worried. He’s scared. And he wants to protect you. 

Hunter will have to talk him down from running off with you.

The sergeant has to keep his squad together. It sucks but they need to figure out what the heck is happening at the moment.

Wrecker desperately wants to go with you but he can’t abandon his squad.

However, he feels much better once Hunter gives some safe coordinates to lay low and hide.

He’ll get you to the ravine and stand guard until you and Caleb are across and out of sight.

You bet your ass when he meets up with you again he’s not letting you go. 

Tech

He isn’t as emotional as the others at the moment. He’s actually focused on gathering as much information in the least amount of time.

He waits, listening to the comm chatter. What is going on? why?

“Execute Order 66.”

After a second, he shares a look with Hunter.

“Tech, go after-”

No more words need to be said. Tech is gone and going after you.

He’s smart. He knows your patterns. He knows where you’d most likely hide. So he focuses on that.

Once he’s confident he’s in a broad area where you and Caleb are, he’s going to call out to you, “Cyare? There’s something called Order 66 on the comms.” 

Tech gives you information first. He won’t make you reveal yourself if you don’t feel safe enough. 

When Echo announces that the Jedi have been charged with treason, he’ll relay that to you. 

“The comms say the Jedi committed treason against the Republic,” He’s going to keep looking around for you, “I know you. You’d never do such a thing. I’m here, Cyare. I can help you.”

Once you reveal yourself, Caleb behind you, he feels the biggest amount of relief. 

He pulls off his helmet, giving you a small smile.

“Tech…The Jedi…” your voice cracks, “They’re being killed…I can feel it.” 

“I know, Cyare…I’m sorry.” He tries his best to comfort you, but he knows he can never understand. 

The amount of Jedi he’s worked with can be counted on one hand. 

But he knows this is your family. Your friends. Your very life.

Once Hunter meets up with you guys, a plan can be put in place. 

He gives you coordinates for a location to meet-up and hide. You’ll lay low with Caleb.

In the meantime, Tech will return to Kamino, figure out what's happening, and from there a better, more long term plan can be made.

Before you leave though, he’s going to give you the longest, most passionate kiss he's ever given you.

He’s well aware that there's a chance you can be found and killed. 

Tech is the only one who has accepted that you may not make it out of this.

But he’s going to keep his mind occupied, distract himself until he’s by your side again. 

Crosshair

As soon as the order goes out, Crosshair is under the influence of the inhibitor chip.

He just doesn’t know. No one does at this point.

He watches you run away with Caleb and the drive to hunt you down is hard to ignore.

He needs to find you to kill you, to protect you.

But, the sudden headache he has is damn near blinding.

Crosshair follows Hunter, keeping his comms on.

He freezes when Tech finds out the Jedi have been marked for execution.

The Inhibitor Chip in his skull is contending with his feelings for you.

He needs to execute save you.

When he spots you he pulls his rifle and aims but barely manages to stop himself.

He can’t hurt you. He needs to kill loves you.

Crosshair draws some sort of conclusion that Kaminoans had conditioned all clones to follow specific orders.

He doesn’t know of the chip. He just assumes it comes from the troopers' conditioning.

When his arms are around your body, for a brief moment he thinks of snapping your neck.

Good soldiers follow orders.

He hates orders.

This is the point where Crosshair knows something is seriously wrong with him.

But he’s not going to say anything yet. He can still fight if need be.

“You need to run…hide…get away from here.” it's a rare moment that he’s scared.

The sniper is desperate to shoot protect you.

The headache is persistent, and it’s somewhat distracting.

But he’ll power through.

Crosshair will wait for Hunter to come up with…something. 

His eyes are on the area around you, gun set to kill in case any reg tries anything.

The plan? Clone Force 99 returns to Kamino while you and Caleb go into hiding. 

You have coordinates. He can find you later. 

But…well Crosshair doesn’t like that. At all.

Hear me out. Like Echo, Crosshair goes with you. He knows somethings up with him, but he trusts himself more than he trusts anyone else.

“Tell Kamino they killed me.” He instructs Hunter, “That I died trying to stop the Jedi and you managed to get justice.”

He crosses the ravine with you, only looking back to nod back to Hunter. 

By the time Crosshair, you and Caleb safely get off the planet, his headache is a small annoyance that goes away with time.

Crosshair sticks with you until he reunites with his squad and notices Omega

Welp, you got Caleb, what's one more kid?

[fellthemarvelous]

Without hope, we have nothing.

(Spoilers and speculation included a bit further down)

This is actually a post about the Bad Batch and not Star Wars Rebels, but this bit is important so...

Try not to cry when you remember that Tech is the one who taught Hera Syndulla how to mask her ship's signature, a move that made her a massive threat to the Empire and a move that she often used to her advantage. She was such a threat to the Empire that they wanted to capture her alive so they could make an example of her for her years of defiance.

And then also try not to cry when you remember that when Hera was taken prisoner by the Empire, Kanan Jarrus sacrificed his life to free her and save the future of the Rebellion. Try not to cry when you think about the fact that Kanan Jarrus aka Caleb Dume was the Jedi padawan the Bad Batch protected (except for Crosshair) from the Empire during Order 66 by claiming Hunter killed him.

Hunter, Tech, Wrecker and Echo lied to the Empire to protect a Jedi.

And Tech taught Hera how to evade the Empire when the Bad Batch helped her family (Chopper included) escape Ryloth after being accused of treason.

Clone Force 99's actions had a direct outcome on the success of the Rebellion. They refused to commit treason against the Republic and all they did was commit treason against the Empire. They were strong enough to resist the effects of the inhibitor chip (Crosshair and Wrecker for awhile), outright ignored Order 66 (Hunter and Tech), or were tortured and turned partially into a machine against his will by the Techno Union and used as a weapon against the Republic who, upon rescue, immediately jumped back into Separatist territory and fucked their asses up (Echo). Luckily, with the help of Rex, they got their chips removed after Wrecker tried to kill all of them.

Everything under the cut is pure speculation. I'm having a galaxy brain moment, I just have no idea if it's pointing me in the right direction or not lol.

If you disagree with me, I don't need you to rudely tell me why.

After his time on Tantiss, Crosshair can now identify with Echo more than anyone else in the Bad Batch (and Tech if CX-2 is Tech).

When they went to rescue Echo, Crosshair is the one who snidely told Captain Rex that he would have left Echo behind too.

Which is exactly what happened to Crosshair when the Empire turned him into a weapon against his own brothers. He had no choice because the Empire attached him to a machine and amped up the effect of his inhibitor chip so he could not disobey orders.

Rex told Cody "I think Echo is still alive" and Cody told him that was impossible. Anakin accompanied him on this rescue mission with The Bad Batch (we know Cody would have too if he hadn't been injured).

I think that if Tech is CX-2, Crosshair already knows or highly suspects it. He's terrified of Tantiss. I think we're going to have a parallel moment of Crosshair possibly saying the same thing, knowing that he could never leave a brother behind again after what he went through, especially if CX-2 is Tech. (I also wouldn't be surprised if Omega suspected something after her trip back to Tantiss with CX-2.)

We never saw Echo's body after the explosion. Instead we got this image. An empty helmet and a droid arm.

Crosshair defected from the Empire when he witnessed the Empire tell him that Mayday was only a clone and not worth giving medical attention to. Those actions resulted in the death of Mayday and that's when Crosshair chose to shoot an Imperial officer between the eyes (similar to Dogma's execution of General Krell in many ways).

If Tech is CX-2, that is the second Bad Batcher the Empire has turned into an enemy against his brothers.

This is the last we saw of Tech.

Hemlock was fucking lying when he said that Tech's glasses were all they recovered. Why the hell would he have found Tech's glasses and not Tech? All we see below him are clouds. And this is the last bit of Tech we see. That gun is in the shot with his glasses for a reason.

I feel like this is going to parallel Echo's rescue from Skako Minor. Tech and Echo are both highly intelligent huge ass nerds (remember that the battle plans being used against the Republic were written by both Rex and Echo, and Cody acknowledged that Rex was one of their best strategists in the GAR) who always ended up working best together.

Part of me wonders if we are heading into a show centered on the clone troopers in a post Order 66 world going up against the Empire as they try to rescue more of their brothers. Enough to become a problem for the Empire.

Part of me also wonders if the inclusion of Force sensitive children in the Bad Batch means Rex will need to call Ahsoka into the fray. Wolffe has only appeared once so he hasn't even switched sides, let alone even started blocking Ahsoka's messages to Rex yet. During the Clone Wars she had to save Force sensitive children from Darth Sidious. During the Rebellion, the saved more Force sensitive children from Darth Sidious. It makes me wonder if she is also going to save Force sensitive children from this too? I might be reaching a bit too much here, but it could be a possibility! She seems to always show up when Force sensitive children need to be rescued from Darth Sidious.

No matter what ending we get for the Bad Batch, I know it's going to leave us with hope for the future because the message in Star Wars has always shown us that hope will always be stronger than fear.

A simple act of kindness can fill a galaxy with hope.

Without hope, we have nothing.

These episodes are all relevant to Echo's journey. The Domino Squad was referred to as a bad batch and Echo was the one who seemed to struggle the most with orders that conflicted with doing what needed to be done. He is the one who memorized the regulations manual after all. And now the Bad Batch are on a similar journey because they have never trusted regs before, but now it seems they might have to trust the regs to come to help them the way they helped Rex and Echo before the war ended. The way they helped Gregor after the war ended.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but that's a fanfic I can always write!! I don't want to get into who I think is going to die or survive, but I have my suspicions there too and I'm already in too much pain to keep going.

[0h0possum]

A Codywan and How to Train Your Dragon crossover that turned into a the Mandalorians factions are dragons AU, because I can never just do something simple and for the heck of it.

If you’re not interested the AU lore, leave now or suffer my rambling lol.

Basically, the idea is that Mandalorians started as a race that could shift into dragons. The Mand’alor line and those of most influence were notably ‘Fury’s (for example Mand’alor Tarre Viszla was a Nightfury and so is his generational line). But over time most Mandolorians who could shift were killed off or just lost the ability as more non-shifter Mandolorians married in. Eventually only a few of the Fury’s were around, and when Mandalore split most chose factions lead by the remaining Fury lines. AKA: the New Mandalorians/Lightfury’s, the Haat Mando'ade or True Mandalorians/Duskfury’s, and the Kyr’tsad or Death Watch/Nightfury’s.

Basically this also helps explain (in my head) why Mandalorians would follow Death Watch (terrorists) or the New Mandalorians (Intense Pacifist). It’s because they see those lines that can still shift as chosen leaders or a physical embodiment of the Ka’ra’s will.

How is Obi-Wan a shifter though? Well in this AU he’s the son of Tor Viszla. Long story short, early on when Obi-Wan was born he displayed being force sensitive, and Obi-WAN’s mom (Tor’s wife??? Idk it’s not important to the story) basically went ‘Aw hell naw’ and tried to drown Obi-Wan. Only to be stopped by a traveling Jedi who stole Obi-Wan and saved him. Totally unaware that this baby was Mandalorian, the son one of the biggest Mandalorian factions, AND also one of the last few existing Mandalorian dragon shifters. (Also Obi-Wan’s mom doesn’t want to admit that she lost Obi-Wan to a Jedi and just tells Tor that he was force sensitive and she succeeded in drowning him).

Maybe I’ll get into it later but basically Obi-Wan grows up as normal in the Temple, but obviously at some point he shifts and has the biggest panic of his life. But with help from friends (Quinlan, Garen, Siri, and Bant) he figures out shifting (enough to control it) and helps keep it a secret (Mandalorians and Jedi still don’t have best relations and Obi-Wan is paranoid about being kicked out of the Order anyways *cough cough Brandomeer cough cough Melinda/Daan*). To be clear, Obi-Wan isn’t like ashamed of what he is. He just doesn’t want the judgments of coming from CLEAR Mandalorian roots, and Death Watch at that. Plus he kinda just decides to not think about how he’s pretty much definitely related to well known terrorist Tar and Pre Viszla, because then he doesn’t have to address it. Besides he’s happy as a Jedi.

Anyways, NOW CODY-

So without getting to detailed (mission failed lol) all the clones ARE shifters (Duskfury’s just like Jango Fett), but they have it suppressed by the Kaminoans (probably part of their chips? I haven’t thought it fully out yet). BUT THINGS HAPPEN, probably Cody and Obi-Wan get stranded alone somewhere for a long time and Cody gets his chipped fucked up somehow, and now he’s shifting into a dragon???? And scaring the shit out of both him and Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan exposes himself as a dragon shifter as well to comfort Cody and show that he will keep his secret. Plus he clearly understands him. (At this point they both are under the impression the clones aren’t shifters, and think Cody is just an outlier and “late bloomer” so to speak). Cue them learning how to be dragons together and be comfortable in their other form.

And eventually they get rescued and find out somehow all the clones are shifters, and therefore find the chips and discover Palpatine’s plan, SO THE GALAXY IS SAVED!

(Additionally the clones get rights and go to form their own society/group (Obi-Wan comes with to be with other dragons, but mostly to be with Cody), and they form an alliance with the New Mandalorians and accidentally unit Mandalore purely by the three Fury types (Nightfury/Obi-Wan, Duskfury/Cody, Lightfury/Satine) being around each other lol.

[threebea]

Order 66 where the Force is like: ... Eh nah and the chips just don't go off.

So Palpatine: Commander Cody, execute order 66 😈

Cody who has no idea why order 66 would be given but super aware of the stakes:

Under this directive, any and all Jedi leadership must be executed for treason against the Republic. Any soldier that does not comply with the order will also be executed for treason.

Then he realises, ah the Chancellor must be under duress, or it could be a shape shifter which has happened before.

Cody: yes milord (turns off call)

He proceeds to send out coded signal for the other commanders to acknowledge, but disregard 66. Not that he needs to, but he doesn't want anyone to give away they're on to whoever is behind this.

Cody: Sir I believe the Sith have control of the Supreme Chancellor.

-

Palpatine (already on his next call): Commander Rex, execute Order 66

Rex: .........? Uh... Sir, there are no Jedi on board.

Palatine: I'm sure it you think about it you'll understand my meaning (hangs up)

Rex: .....? (Gets code from Cody) Ohhhh oh thank force.

Meanwhile: dramatic March up to the Temple.

Appo (he's absolutely in disbelief that the Jedi would betray them but it's his General telling him this so it has to be true) sir, how are we going to seperate Jedi military personal from the children and elderly.

Anakin who has been told his men aren't going to have qualms: sorry what?

Appo: the children and elderly. There are civilians that work there as well. Should we call for them to surrender.

Anakin: no, we ... You know. Order 66. My Master said you'd know what that means.

Appo: yessir! (The one time Rex isn't here. He's way better at talking to the general than Appo). We must kill all Jedi Leadership. All the Generals.

Someone in the back: Wait does that include Padawan Commanders?

Murmurs from the group that were already kinda not okay with this.

Anakin: it-- no we need to... The Jedi are traitors!

Appo: (oh no I'm fucking up) yessir... We only want clarification of orders. We must execute Jedi command, but we would like to know if it includes Padawan... Oh also healers.

Another guy in the background: why would it include healers!?

Anakin: yes it-- I mean... It includes everyone!

Appo: (oh he gets it now) oh! No sir! You see these are command that have to do with our military structure. I know the Jedi have been woven in quite tightly, but an order wouldn't have us kill unarmed non-conbatants! No wonder you looked so tense. Did you think-? Wait you didn't actually think we were...

Anakin: uh... (Sheev rhetoric not really useful against regulation and military law that the clones probably know better than he does)

Appo: besides sir, you're a Jedi General the order would include you.

Anakin: I am no longer a Jedi!

Appo: ...... Then.... You can't command us unless you've been given a new official rank. We need to report to the Chancellor directly.

Anakin: uh.... I think I have? Wait stop arguing! If you refuse to kill the Jedi you will be executed with them! This is what he wants!

Appo: (oh fuck oh fuck) sir you cannot order us to kill children. You are unfit to command.

(every single clone points their blaster at Anakin)

Anakin: you can't do that! This is mutiny!

Appo: (😭 Rex help our Jedi is being mind controlled or something)

[fanfic-obsessed]

Unavailable

This started as the seed of a different idea, but it fit so well into this beginning that it was like they were made to go together.

Just before the intel starts arriving that would lead to the Rako Hardeen mess, the Force gets a warning to the Jedi. This warning, once translated, is very clear. Obi Wan Kenobi needs to be out of communication for a while (can’t be sent on a mission whose real purpose is to fracture the relationship between Obi Wan and Anakin, if Obi Wan is not there…).

So Obi Wan and Cody get sent undercover to infiltrate some criminal enterprise whose main base is on Endor (while they are undercover the 212th will be on leave-part of an initiative to prove that the clones are not actually being abused).  Their cover is married mandalorian bounty hunters, thus their faces can be covered. The mission is that they will arrive on Endor, find a place to live, and start taking bounties that would make them highly visible to the criminal enterprise. It is anticipated that this mission will be at least 4 weeks, and there cannot be any contact (Because this is not faking Obi Wan’s death, Anakin is warned the Obi Wan will be out of communication for a while, though he is still given no details) throughout this time. 

It all goes well at first, then three days in (due to Force shenanigans, and a Force artifact that was disguised as an antique) both Obi Wan and Cody wake up with no memories. They were just far enough into their mission to have found a place to live and all of their idents and paperwork is in the names of Ben and Kote Beroya, married bounty hunters. Ben (Obi Wan) is just aware enough of the Force to know that they both need to keep their armor on while they are not alone.  Not knowing about their other mission, they find a decent bounty, complete it, and leave the planet. 

Meanwhile on Coruscant Palpatine tries to go forward with the Rako Hardeen plan, in spite of his main goal (which requires Obi Wan Kenobi) being impossible.  Without the additional emotional damage to Anakin Skyalker to distract everyone, Palpatine is found out.  The high council, barring Obi Wan but with Anakin, goes to confront Palpatine. 

It is the middle of an emergency senate session. 

Palpatine activates Order 66(galaxy wide it should be noted) … for about 45 seconds before a Force fueled panic attack from Anakin disables all of the chips at once (also galaxy wide-incidentally giving Kote Beroya a headache from half a galaxy away).  Palpatine was planning on relying on the controlled clones and might have considered going quietly (with an idea to salvage the 1000 year plan) with the realization that the clones were now free. It was all a moot point, since moments after the clones (now very confused and more than a little horrified themselves with their new knowledge) were freed, Palpatine is fatally shot by Bail Organa (Bail has been up for five days working on a draft of the clone rights bills. He is tired, cranky, and pissed that this meeting cut into his scheduled Comm call with Breha). 

In the aftermath it is found that Palpatine used Dark Side Magic to partially (at varying degrees) control a number of people in the Senate. This includes Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala. In this one Palpatine’s control is what caused Anakin to slaughter the Tuskens.  Anakin is not the only one who needed specialized Jedi therapy (meant to deal with the topic of ‘so the Darkside fucked with your head/possessed you’). It very quickly became the most common type of therapy in the Senate

Palpatine also forced the relationship between Padme and Anakin. There was attraction there, and it was possible that the attraction would have grown into something more but their entire relationship was hijacked by Palpatine (Padme alone had been mostly controlled since she was 14 and needed to go through 4 Jedi exorcisms). More horrifyingly Palpatine used more Sith Magic to put Padme’s womb into stasis, which was currently occupied by fraternal twins, held at the three week marker (so that he could make her ‘become pregnant’ when he was ready to start his end game) that were biologically Anakin’s and Padme’s, though after the Sith magic controlling them was removed, neither remember having sex. 

Everyone involved is utterly horrified. It seemed impossible to conceptualize the level of violation on all parties.  The Jedi Order eventually bought an incubation tube from the Kaminoans and, with Padme’s grateful permission (who had been a bit conflicted, she truly did not want to be pregnant- especially in these circumstances- but did not personally feel comfortable with getting an abortion), moved the twins there for the duration.  The Twins would then become part of the Order and both Padme and Anakin would be allowed to decide how much the children would be told.

At this point Anakin requested that his Master be brought back from his mission. Anakin really needed Obi Wan, and a couple of dozen hugs.  The clones are doing their part cuddling their general and Ahsoka is trying too, but sometimes you just need your dad/older brother figure to tell you everything is alright. Especially when everything is fucked up. 

The Jedi Council agree and reach out to the secret Comm to contact Obi Wan and recall them (theoretically the whole operation became moot after the Chancellor's death). There’s no answer (as it was a hidden, secret comm neither Ben nor Kote knew to bring it along). The council looks at each other. They try again. Still no answer.  They manage to get in contact with the landlord of the place that was rented to Ben and Kote, who goes ‘Oh those guys. Good tenets, quiet. They left six weeks ago (two weeks into their mission). Think they said they were heading toward Corellia.’ 

Now the Jedi council are wondering just what happened that sent Obi Wan and his commander to Corellia and why they didn’t get in contact about the change. It is decided that this was a good mission for Anakin to go on, as it would help distract him, leading both the 501st and the 212th. 

So now Anakin is on the galaxy’s biggest scavenger hunt, being evaded by two bounty hunters that do not know they are being hunted. 

Back with Ben and Kote, they have been taking bounties and slowly learning about themselves and each other throughout (and what married means to them). They realized quickly that they had some specific standards (they DO NOT kill kids or innocents, but Kote has found that he takes a particular glee in bringing betrayers in and Ben has a hatred for anyone who would hurt kids). They have also found that Ben had a tendency to draw the attention of slavers, without fail. They had shut down an even dozen slavery rings in the middle rim.   Because they are always wearing a helmet, except for around each other, they have not realized that their faces are really famous.   They have also realized in that time that Kote is a hand to hand fighter and Ben can do some really weird things (lifting things with his mind) when he concentrates.

It takes another few months before they start to hear that Galactic General Anakin Skywalker is apparently asking for them by name. Rather desperately, at times almost violently. Ben’s instincts (supplemented by the Force) says that General Skywalker does not mean any harm. Both of them, in a fit of whimsy, decide to lead the General on a merry chase across the galaxy (incidentally giving Anakin more time to not focus on the body horror of…well everything to do with Palpatine or Padme). 

During this time the Galactic War ends. 

The chase eventually ends because Ben and Kote encounter another member of the Beroya clan (Obi Wan had been legitimately inducted into the clan when he protected Satine as a teen), who they are around long enough to take their helmets off around them.  

This being blinks twice and basically says holy fuck you are a famous republic general and his commander, you have been missing for months. Ben and Kote blink at each other, shrug and go ‘that explains Skywalker stalking us’ and admit their amnesia to the being.  

Anakin is greatly surprised that the next time his fleet comes out of hyperspace he is greeted by his former master, in armor, asking what took him so long. 

For a moment Anakin considered Falling right then and there. 

Then he considered it again when he met up with Ben and Kote and realized they had no memories.  

How the fuck was he going to explain this to anyone…

[pencildragons]

snippet from my upcoming foxquin fic sinner, sinner (come to dinner) for foxquinweek !!!!!

“Commander Fox,” says the Chancellor, smiling his kindly smile. Fox stands very still and stares straight ahead, past Palpatine and through the great transparisteel window at the city below, skyline exploding in the brilliance of the sun’s final dying rays. The fanciful part of him that will one day be responsible for his death imagines that, if he’s just still enough, Palpatine will forget him entirely. It’s ridiculous, he knows, he knows, of course he knows, but he clings to it anyway, endeavours to move as little as possible, turns trying to hide even the slight rise and fall of his chest into some sort of test of how good his impression of being a block of stone is. “Sir,” says Fox. “Commander Fox,” Palpatine says again, still smiling that awful fucking smile, but sadder, now, mournful, bushy eyebrows doing something terrible and expressive. “You have disappointed me.” “Yes, sir.” “I gave you a very simple directive, Commander, and still you failed.” Fox is barely breathing now. Only a few klicks away, the spire of the Jedi Temple burns in a halo of pink-red, spearing through the cloud-strewn sky. It looks like one of the paintings hung in the Senate rotunda corridors, the ones that like as not cost more to procure than he did. His throat is dry. He tries to swallow. It sticks. It is likely he is dehydrated. There is a little light flashing on top of the spire, warning away in-atmo transports and low-flying starships. Orange-blue-green. Orange-blue-green. He stares at it, so he doesn’t have to look at Palpatine. “Yes, sir.” “Such inadequacy is, of course, unacceptable, Commander, as I’m sure you’re aware. I really had hoped it would not come to this, you understand.” Liar, Fox thinks. You love this. “But there is only one way to learn, and that is through experiencing consequences of your actions. Perhaps next time you will not take your sworn duty so lightly, hmm?” “Yes, sir.” “Draw your blaster, please, Commander.” Fox blinks and, in his surprise, breaks his stillness to turn his head to face Palpatine properly. “…Sir?” “Must I repeat myself twice? Draw your blaster from your holster.” Slowly, Fox draws. He wonders if this is some sort of test, if he’s going to be punished further for making his weapon naked in front of the Supreme Chancellor of the entire fucking Republic. (In the light of the dusk spilling through the window into the opulent office, Palpatine’s eyes seem almost gold. It is for but a brief moment, just the rays of the fat sun catching oddly, and then they return to that sharp, ice-chip grey like nothing at all happened.) “Good,” says Palpatine, and smiles again. Like this, he looks like some natborn’s father’s father—grandfather, he believes the term is—all benevolent wrinkles and knowing looks. “Set it to kill.” Fox sets it to kill. It is not a difficult thing. He is just as much a weapon as the blaster in his hands, well-oiled, clean, smooth. Efficient. He was designed for this. It is easier to follow orders mindlessly; his brain, like all their brains (except, perhaps, Kote’s, but Kote’s a little fucked up and is an outlier for everything else, anyway), is primed for command, made to obey. A perfect, thoughtless gun, with just enough ruthlessness and self-determination to set them apart from the CIS’ droids. That’s the idea, anyway. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time the Kaminoans failed in the execution of something. “Turn around, Commander,” Palpatine murmurs, words soft and smooth and rich as the heavy velvet-fabric from his home planet that he has all his clothes cut from. “And fire at will.”

rbs deeply appreciated :]

[antianakin]

Oh cool, so Omega suddenly remembers there were other captives on that fucking mountain only after she and her personal favorite escape. It's way too fucking late for that, babe, sorry.

Like it's VERY hard to believe she cares when she never once spoke to any of them even though she walked by all of them EVERY DAY to go speak to fucking Crosshair instead and when her first reaction to Rex was "I thought we didn't like regs." They showed her bonding to the DOGS instead of the actual CLONES. That shows where those clones rated on Omega's list to me.

Even if the idea was supposed to be "They couldn't have all escaped, so it was better to leave and bring back a bigger force to help get the others out" then you could make a solid argument that she should've and could've just left Crosshair behind and gotten out herself. She wastes precious time and resources going to get Crosshair out, it's far more suspicious for her to get Crosshair out because he's literally in a prison while she has the ability to walk around freely and won't have people asking questions when she shows up somewhere the way Crosshair would. And going by this episode, she clearly doesn't really need Crosshair's help to escape and find Hunter and Wrecker at all.

The other reason that that argument wouldn't work for me is that we never see Omega ever express that to anybody. She never expresses any care about the other clones until she's already escaped, she only expresses care for Crosshair, the dogs, and Emerie. She never speaks to the other clones, she never goes up to them to try to bond with them, she doesn't say anything to the prisoners she's leaving behind to explain she won't be able to bring anyone else with her but that she promises she'll come back to get them all out with more help.

It almost would've made more sense for that kind of sentiment to come from CROSSHAIR, at least it would've demonstrated more growth for him. He had an entire episode last season where he grew to care for one of the regs, despite all of his prejudice against them, and that's what got him sent to Tantiss in the first place. It would've been SO NICE to have Crosshair refuse to leave without the rest of them because NONE OF THEM deserve to be left behind, and if Omega wants to escape, then fine, she can go, but he won't leave with her if it means the others have to stay on Tantiss.

This could've been a way to sort-of showcase the way Crosshair has developed while away from the rest of the Batch. Hunter and Wrecker and Tech don't spend time with other real clones and have expressed a distinct lack of understanding about why Echo even CARES about trying to save the clones. They left and have been on their own since Order 66, relying on friendships with other people to get them through. But Crosshair stayed behind, Crosshair has been spending a lot more time around the chipped clones, Crosshair has been getting a front row seat to what's happening to the clones under the Jedi, Crosshair is the one who bonded with Cody and then Mayday and saw what was done to both of them. Crosshair betrayed the Batch when he stayed behind, he was disloyal, but it allowed him to see the real clones in a way he never had before, to find a way to connect to them a way he never could before, and so now he refuses to just abandon the other captives on Tantiss the way he abandoned the Batch. The Batch made friends among regular civilians and war refugees, but Crosshair learned what it meant to be part of the actual clone community, what it's always meant to be considered one of many. Crosshair could've taught Omega about that bond, he could've been the one to be the bridge between her and the clones she's been so distant from.

Instead, they just have Crosshair abandon them with Omega and it's OMEGA trying to insist they go back later to save them and Crosshair doesn't care about them any more than he has before and is happy to just leave them all behind to die.

[laurabwrites]

WIP I'm Accepting I Will Never Write

My brain has been generating too many Star Wars ideas for me ever reasonably get around to writing all of them, so I'm going to start dumping them on here (maybe AO3 as well, not sure yet) once I've accepted it's an idea I won't get to. So, to start off:

Anakin got Arrested at the Start of the War

In this one, Anakin's massacre on Tatooine was revealed shortly into the war (Qui-Gon Jinn's ghost, A'Shared Hett or Padmé having a conscience, doesn't matter it's not the point of the idea and I don't think it affects the plot). Anakin goes to Jedi jail in the Temple and the war proceeds apace.

At the end of the war, when Palpatine sets off Order 66, the Temple Guard who in another timeline became the Grand Inquisitor lets Anakin out. They would be killing all the Jedi, but somehow the Jedi have been alerted and the Temole seems strangely light on clone troopers they could be using as backup. The Grand Inquisitor knows this, Anakin doesn't. He's been in Jedi jail and has no idea what normal operations in the Temple have looked like for the past three year. They manage to get to the atrium of the Temple with the objective of getting out and rounding up some clone troopers to come back with. Except there's this Tortuga fighting both of them. She's not getting in any hits in on them but this scrappy, can't be more than 16, 17-year-old is holding both of them off while simultaneously organizing the Padawans and Initiates to grab younglings and run.

Then the 212th enters, Cody and Rex frog marching Obi-Wan in.

Which gives Anakin the opportunity to villain monologue about the Jedi Order not understanding emotion, they threw him away, Palpatine recognizes his true power, Obi-Wan will see the destruction of everything he holds dear, blah blah blah. Basically entitled white boy I did no wrong (ignore the dead children), you'll regret being so mean to me (enforcing the consequences of my own actions), ranting regurgitating Palpatine's bullshit about Jedi.

Meanwhile, the Grand Inquisitor is noting that a lot of kids are safely getting the fuck outta Dodge and the 212th is getting some good lines of fire. Why are they letting Anakin monologue instead of enacting Order 66?

Finally as Anakin is winding down, Obi-Wan speaks up: yes but, you see, you made one critical mistake.

Anakin, sneering: oh what's that

Obi-Wan: you hurt your Padawan-sister

Obi-Wan Force pushes Ahsoka and every remaining kid out of range while the entire 212th opens fire on Anakin and Grand Inquisitor.

Inquisitor is dead on the ground (sorry buddy, you were just a plot device to get Anakin out of his cell and show off how badass Ahsoka is with Soreasu mixed into her Jar'dai (I think I spelled those right...)). Anakin is on his Force bullshit, not quite dead, as Obi-Wan, Cody, and Rex come over to check.

Anakin: you won't finish me off, you're a Jedi, you're too weak.

Rex putting three rounds in his chest and three in his head: I'm no Jedi, slaver.

Backstory to get to this scene that slammed into me like a ton of bricks months and months ago:

212th never split the 501st off since Anakin wasn't there to get Knighted. Therefore Fives went to Obi-Wan when he found the chip. Obi-Wan got Shaak Ti to distract the Kaminoans, so Quinlan (or another Shadow, but I like using Quinlan for the known connection to Obi-Wan) could dig in Kaminoans' files and find documentation as well as an emergency counter signal. Obi-Wan dechipped his battalion anyway, not wanting to rely on the counter signal being permanent. They then jammed Coruscant's communications when Cody got the Order from Palpatine. 212th then uses the counter signal on the Corries, as they go to the Temple to grab whatever Masters were on planet. The clones and a fourth of the Council go kill Palpatine as he's declaring the Empire on the floor of the Senate.

[phoenixyfriend]

Entry of the Gladiators: 2

Chapter 2: They Fucked Up

A plan is made. The plan is not very good. They cannot exit the plan. Heck.

-------

Obi-Wan does his best to focus on the problem at hand, rather than the… choice of decorum that Anakin is exhibiting.

His former padawan is sitting on the floor, legs crossed, and eating from a bag of vegetable chips that he’s scavenged from the warlord’s refrigerator. Ahsoka sits next to him, and is intermittently trying to steal some.

She really shouldn’t. As much as a Togruta does need some vegetables in their system, Obi-Wan’s willing to take Anakin’s word for it that these are liable to upset Ahsoka’s stomach if she has more than one or two. Something about the type of oil that was used. If Anakin’s way of enforcing that limit is to insist that Ahsoka can only have some if she can successfully steal them… well, so be it.

“Count Dooku isn’t a Sith yet, correct?” Cody asks. He and Rex are still wearing their helmets and the rest of their armor. Obi-Wan’s pretty sure they’re monitoring possible threats from the warlord’s court, somehow, but he isn’t sure what method they’re using. Most likely, Anakin patched them into the existing security system.

Obi-Wan drags himself back to the moment. Sith. Right. “He isn’t even a Count, yet. He’s a Jedi. It’s still another five years, at least, before he leaves the Order.”

“So probably not a Sith,” Cody prompts.

“No, probably not a Sith.”

“And whoever taught him is probably the same person who taught Maul?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan shrugs. “If we assume the Rule of Two… I don’t know that we ever confirmed if Ventress counted towards that number, but regardless of either, there must be someone to have taught Maul.”

“How old would Maul be now?” Ahsoka asks.

“Mid-teens?” Obi-Wan hazards. “He’s… I think he’s younger than me, but I can’t be sure.”

Cody makes a small noise. “And your local self, Sir?”

“Eighteen,” Obi-Wan says. He glances at the screen again, just to check the date, and yes, it’s after his birthday. “Yes, eighteen. If Master Jinn and my younger self haven’t finished up with the mission to Mandalore yet, we will soon. I can’t honestly say I remember which month it ended, let alone which day.”

Anakin snorts. It might even be a snicker. Obi-Wan does the mature thing, and ignores him.

“So, there are at least two Sith, one of which is Maul and the other of which is his teacher,” Rex summarizes. “We need to know who the teacher is, in order to do anything about them before war breaks out.”

Obi-Wan rubs at his forehead. “The only leads we have are Maul and Dooku, and we have no idea when the Sith Master approached Dooku. We’d have to tail him indefinitely to know. If it was something like Qui-Gon’s death that pushed him to the dark, we might avoid it entirely.”

“Probably isn’t,” Anakin says, and only then swallows the mouthful of chips. That boy. “You said he was the name on the Kamino project contract, right? According to Fett?”

“Whose word we can’t really trust,” Obi-Wan points out. He glances at Rex and Cody. “Unless you have other information?”

They both shake their heads. “Financial espionage wasn’t ever on our list of duties,” Rex says, almost apologetic.

“Then we’re down to Maul and the hint that Dooku provided when I met him on Geonosis, which might well have been a lie in the first place,” Obi-Wan says, “so really, we’re down to Maul.”

“What lie, Master?” Ahsoka asks.

“He claimed that his master, that a Sith was in the Senate,” Obi-Wan tells her. “We, that is, the Council, tried to follow up on it, just in case, but the war took up too much time and we couldn’t find anything. The Chancellor had us call off the investigation after a few months. Unless we had new information come in, we were to focus on the war effort instead of the wild nuna chase that Dooku had sent us on.”

Anakin’s making a face. Obi-Wan tenses, ready for some comment or other about the Chancellor, but his padawan just heaves a heavy sigh. “So our only option is to either find Maul or wait for Dooku to get tapped?”

“No way to draw them out?” Cody asks. “Perhaps someone at the temple might have a plan.”

It’s true, but Obi-Wan’s gut lurches at the idea of going to the Temple. It’s like a hook through his abdomen, not truly painful, but… awfully discomforting.

Anakin and Ahsoka look just as sick as he does.

“…sir?” Cody prompts, hesitant in the way he usually isn’t. “Is there a problem with the Temple?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says. “I don’t know what, but… yes.”

“The Force is more insistent on that than most things,” Anakin says, grimacing. “Ugh. I’m going to be sick.”

(Continue on AO3)

[dixieconley]

In Which Anakin Was Chosen To Fuck Shit Up

Idea courtesy of @justafanwarrior: What i'm seeing is Anakin calling Padmé in panic because "I took down the Senate! It was an accident! Well not really they were allowing slavery, but I didn't mean to like, take over the Galaxy! Please help me manage things and uh not having to be in charge? Please Angel?" and @vaugemessenger: He would probably also take down the senate in the process for allowing the zygerrian slave empire to exist without consequences

Sequel to:

Rex (the one with the brain cell): You do realize that by killing the chancellor, we've essentially declared martial law, leaving you in charge of the Republic right now, sir? Anakin: ::anakin.exe has stopped working:: Rex: Sir? They want to negotiate a surrender. What do you want to do? Fives: Overthrow the patriarchy! Establish a fast food empire! What? I could really go for some fries right now. Echo: We're free and in charge. I guess that means the general really *is* the Chosen One.

[Flashback to two months after arriving at the temple: Obi-Wan: I want you to visit the creche, Anakin. The initiates there are your age and it would really be best if you had friends that aren't droids. (Everyone really hates C3P0. Vos is considering going dark side. 'Just to violently dismember it then melt its metal in the nearest sun. Then I'll come back. We can go to Dex's after and celebrate. It'll be fun!') Anakin: I really hate you right now. ::at the creche:: Initiate: ::::pissed that this dickhead somehow has a master and she's maybe never going to get one:: How do you rate a master, pipsqueak?:: (Yes, it's Barriss. Of *course*, it's Barriss.) Anakin: I'm the Chosen One! Initiate: Chosen for what? Fucking shit up? Anakin: … Initiate: Yeah. Thought so. Get back to me on that.]

Anakin: ::panicking:: Angel, Angel, I really need you. You have no idea how bad I need you right now. Padme: Well, okay, but this is a strange time for a booty call. Anakin: No, listen-- wait, what? …uh, what are you wearing? ::twenty minutes later and relevant explanations issued while relaxed and no longer panicking:: Padme: I was born for this.

Anakin: Master, please! I really need your help! Obi-Wan: What did you accidentally on purpose destroy this time? Anakin: Hey! That's so not fair! I… okay, so I *did* kinda take down the chancellor, but only 'cause he made me a slave master, and now Padme says I'm technically in charge of the Republic because he had all these powers and for some reason made me his heir plus they're kinda scared of what I'll do since I blew up half the Senate building. And Dooku called and I kinda maybe ordered the GAR to glass Serenno and guess what? Dooku, um, made *you* his heir which makes you technically in charge of the Separatists, so… Obi-Wan: … Anaking: Master? Obi-Wan: What I'm hearing is that the war is over and I can finally get some sleep. Anakin: Master?? Obi-Wan: ::already snoring:: Anakin: I really hate you right now.

Anakin gets named emperor and nopes out of the day-to-day side of running an empire. Padme's his wife, which makes her the empress, she can do this. She was a queen once, right? How different could it be?

But being emperor *does* give him power to give the GAR orders and a LOT of sway with the Jedi council. So Anakin takes up slaver hunting as a hobby. (Senator Free Taa, I'm looking at you.) The Zygerrians and the Hutts go on the endangered species list. So do the Kaminoans. Most of the GAR joins in gleefully. (They take holos for everyone who isn't be there when Tipoca City is destroyed then exploded then vaporized. They may be holding a grudge. There's a huge viewing party. And a yearly celebration.)

Fives is named the duke of fast food. Dex's becomes the official caterer for the royal family and entourage. And if that entourage coincidently happens to be officially defined as the 501st? He isn't the one who determines such things. (Echo is, and is in on it for the milkshakes.)

The Force bubbles with delight. It chose the right person to fuck shit up.

[mamuzzy]

I only wanted to answer in reblog but it got so long i decided to make a separate post. But it had me thinking about media consumerism and how it could affect the open-mindedness for different shows soooo...

Here is a guide to...

HOW TO GET SOMEONE TRAPPED IN THE CLONE HELL

... not entirely a guide but more like an observation.

If we want to look at the problem with the fast-paced media consumer viewpoint, I think starting with the Bad Batch it's actually not a bad idea for someone who never watched Star Wars animated media before. It's sad but cartoons, animations can repulse people to watch things because they link them to child stories, something only a child would watch, also most of the people prefer live action instead of animated stuff. Especially if the said movie/series is quite old. cont. under the cut...

There could be a reason why people are not interested in clones

If a friend, family member, boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever only saw the movies and were not interested in TCW before, had not seen it as a child on TV, they will probably have prejudice against the clones. - They weren't the main characters in the movies therefor we have not seen them interacting that much with the main cast. - But even if you don't know star wars, you will probably know the clones for Order 66, white armored assholes who murdered the jedi aka good guys. And when the movies came out, inhibitor chips weren't in the picture. ---> this observations came while watching TCW with my dad who didn't like the clones because for this exact same reason: the clones basicly serve antagonist without question in a world where rules were set: jedi are good, sith are evil. -> I don't care that it is more complex that. It is what was shown. While he enjoyed the clone-centric episodes, he still stood at his point. They killed the jedi. End of story. - People have different interests :'(((((((

THE CLONE WARS 2003

Why do I recommend this first.

You can always say it's made by the same guy who made Samurai Jack. Strategically speaking Clone Wars 2003 would be a good starting point despite not being canon anymore because TCW is adapting some of the stories shown here. It recaps well what happened between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Also this is the first media where Asajj Ventress and Grievous were introduced, and where you can actually see Grievous in his prime, an absolutely terrifying foe who actually can mop the floor with the jedi. Lots of jedi were introduced here which later also appeared in TCW. Why is this important: Having familiarity with the characters shown in memorable scenes helps that you will recognise them later in other media. Like... Hey it's the jedi dude who stripped in the middle of a fight! Hey, aren't these the same guys who mutated an entire village out of fun who kidnapped Echo??? And so on. TIME: 25 x 5 minutes episodes full of action so it keeps up the interest, and... FORDO. 5 minutes of full clone badassery. While TCW emphasises on the theme that the clones are living, feeling human beings who can die exactly like a human, in CW2003 they are shown like really the badass super soldiers (especially the ARC Troopers) who were bred for war. How much time it takes an episode to watch is an important factor. Because someone who binge watches 10 x 1 hour long netflix series under one day without sleep, drink, eat is not a guarantee that they will be able to sit through 133 x 22 minutes episodes. The sheer numbers will scare them away, nobody has a time watch 133 episodes when you can watch like... 5 different series instead! STORY TELLING COMPARED TO TCW: CW2003 goes for mostly visual story telling instead of talking. It's suspenseful, it's scenic, it's extreme, sometimes silly (rocket-launcher clone in the elevator with zero fuck given is still my favorite) but it's guarantee that you will remember. TCW episodes are varying from episodic to two-to-four episode arcs, it has silly comic relief episodes, it has serious dark episodes, obligatory beach episode, obligatory valentine day episode, obligatory school festival episodes obligatory-just kidding lol , so the lenght of one story can be varying, so is the quality of them. So unless you have a hyperfixation, or are a completionist, or interested enough, the episodes - in psychologycal term -, won't urge you the continue. Because in one 22 minutes episode you got a complete story without cliffhanger it won't make you think, because all the questions asked in the beginning of the episode was answered at the end. It won't rush you to continue, because you know that probably the next episode will be about an entire different conflict. You can stop anytime without the feeling of "just one more episode, just one more episode". Also, it doesn't help that you know how the story will end if you saw Revenge of the Sith. The forementioned uglyness... It took me years to finish TCW. I hated when it came out back in 2009 despite loving Star Wars and CW2003 and only after a decade picked up my interest again, it still took me years to finish it anyway. Back then, I really hated how everything got quickly 3D in neglection of 2D. But can't say it's ugly because it's old, it was ugly when it came out! You really have to force yourself to accept how it looks until you are fine with it, because your eyes got used to it. Also some episodes were boring, not entertaining, I just lost interest and only came back later to continue and I even forgot what happened before. I can't remember most of the arc expect those I was interested in to rewatch it again in the last years. Yes, the quality will improve. Season 7 is beautiful. The visuals of Bad Batch is also beautiful. But between season 6 and season 7, years passed.

THE BAD BATCH

Why do I recommend TBB for someone who ain't got time for shit™:

- TBB season are 16 episodes long. It's friendlier than 133 number wise. - There are only a few main characters to follow. It's important because when there are a large cast of characters, it's easy to get confused who is who and with literal CLONES as main characters, it's hard to distinguish them from each other. I know I can distinguished them, because I'm so fixated on them that every single verbal and non-verbal gesture they make will shoot me into outer space. - The Batch uses popular character tropes, different looks, different voices and tones, so they are recognisable, therefore, you will remember them for the rest of the show. So it will be a chance that you will fall for at least one member of the batch. And then you'll be thirsting mess over one character and eventually you'll be staning all of them, and eventually you will seek out more contents,fanfics, fanarts, headcanons with them that will attract TCW characters or events as well that will lead further deep down into the clone-hell. --> You can start showing the Bad Batch arc TCW where Jesse, Kix, Rex, Cody is also present, so there are plenty of topic and characters to talk about later. Also... Who is this Echo guy, how did he end up here? You can show the Domino Squad episodes, Kamino arc, citadel arc... - This could be a double-edge sword, but TBB are shown resemblance to Delta Squad, Omega Squad and Null ARC troopers. You know Delta Squad from the Video Game, Republic Commando, while the Omegas and Nulls are the main characters of the book series with the same name by Karen Traviss. I say it's double edged, because without these fantastic characters we wouldn't have The Bad Batch, but also I can understand the fans who wanted the Deltas adapted properly instead. - In season 1, the "fillers" add to the story and the characters as well and they won't get episodic-amnesia. (they may have TCW amnesia though... yes, I look at you Echo.) - In Season 1, there is a clear conflict which shadow always lingers even if the plot of the episode does not directly touches it. - Returning characters from TCW like Rex and Gregor could make the consumer ask the questions: who are these guys and why are they important? Rex is cute, is there more episodes with him? Oh yes, my dear prey friend, there is a whole series about him. - I only say season 1 because I'm not entirely satisfied how season 2 were handled while I enjoyed the first one. My hyperfixation for TCW last year literally started with Bad Batch. The trailer was so misleadingly awesome I wanted to watch it before season 2 would come out, but I wanted to finish TCW first (finally!). Season 6 and Season 7 were basicly binge watch and it got me interested again in the previous seasons too.

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS 2008 (movie)

Why do I recommend this before TCW - It has Fox - Because sitting through a one-night movie is still easier than watching 133 episodes while maintaining the same quality of the show. - It has Fox - It shows the story how Ahsoka is introduced as Anakin's padawan the first time and we get a glimpse of their initial relationship and dynamic. - It has Fox - Basicly two arc in one movie but the introduced characters stay the same the entire time so you have time to get to know them, recognise them, and later you can remember them. - It has Fox - It has Fox.

TALES OF THE JEDI

It has that one episodes with the clones where they train Ahsoka. Possible questions could be asked: wtf happens at the END? Where is the rest of it? You can instantly show the last arc of season 7. Which would lead to another questions: wtf are the mandalorians, why Maul is here, wtf happening with Rex during O66, why is he hesitating to shoot Ahsoka? Now you can show the Chip conspiracy ARC with Fives! This Fives is a nice guy, is there more episodes of him? Oh boy~

And if they are interested in watching TCW with you..

- Watching together as spending time together usually helps. I think discord also has a function where you can stream movies to others. - You don't have to watch it in the exact order the episodes came out - Show arcs. There are lot of clone centric arcs. I literally collected all the episodes where Echo and Fives are present. --> Dad remembered Echo the whole time and he felt sorry for him. I showed the episodes in such order that his story could be followed easely. ------------- I know. I get it. Every episode is awesome. Every character is awesome. They are. They are all blorbos. They are our blorbos.

[warsamongthestars]

My absolute canon (headcanon for others), about the fates of the Bad Batch post TCWshow, would be exactly as TCWshow intended--they fall under the chip, and go from the super-special-awesome-squad to "uh oh you fucked up now" bad guy agent team.

And no, there is no happy ending here.

One the best, most heartfelt things that just, utterly crushed me for months, was the concept of the chip, the long term effects and the absolute utter tragedy.

The tragedy that these men, these soldiers, who knew nothing but war and military, who were given the promise through the Jedi's treatment of them that they could grow and live once it was all over...

... only to be snatched away, near permanently, into the darkness and to never been the same again. Even if to wake from the Nightmare, would only result in worse state from actions performed.

And many, if not all, would never wake again.

That's a beautiful tragedy, a beautifully written tragedy, a build up of years to solidify a single moment (Order 66). Its part of what kept me with Clone Troopers, part of how there's the "need to save them" in imagination.

We can make a happy ending in our minds, but the story NEEDED the Utterly Crushing Tragedy. The idea that "No, until the Emperor is Dead, there will be no Happy Endings".

Hope strikes with the return of the Jedi and no more, no less.

( Hope is not a dove delivered, its a soldier that picks its self up from the mud and marches again in the no man's land. Its the thing that find beauty in the starlight reflection of muddy waters, admist the death and destruction of an ended battle )

[ You can guess that I've read Tolkien ]

Clone Troopers are meant to be, by TCWshow weaving, the Biggest Tragedy of Star Wars. To be cursed as manufactured men when they were alive, and to be cursed as the Jedi killers after the war ends, utterly bound by the purpose they were created for unwilling.

( They're also the biggest symbols of Hope. )

( Leia was the first one in the whole of Star Wars to ever mention the Clone Wars, to make it an element as part of the world-build and to pull Obi-Wan Kenobi back into the fight. All the way back in the first, the beginning. Where do you think she would've learned what Hope was, when faced in impossible circumstance? )

( Her dress was as a white as a Shiny's shell, and she painted it in camouflage for battles won. )

[ She did say her father fought in the Clone Wars, together with then General Kenobi... Why imagine a Jedi father, when there were thousands of Clone Troopers? ]

To add my personal twist, Clone Force 99 would've become Vader's personal special forces. After all, he had the 501st and the 212th, why not 99?

Vader's 99 would've been clever enough to even kill wayward Inquisitors. ( Of course, something would've had to happen before the Deathstar Plans were caught, or there wouldn't have been an original trilogy--but that's a story to be created another time. )

I would've loved it.

The idea that these once good if flawed men, playful and goofy brothers, outcasts one and all--now monsters, unrecognizable even with their unique faces? And the only help that could be given, is impossible to give as you're trying to survive them now?

The only option in war to take the enemy out.

Now that's a painful story to live and breath for.

[spiritofthenortheners]

CLONE BANG 2023 PROMOS

Team #19 presents a little sneek peak of our work for @clonebang - official release in January 2024!

Deserted Minds

writer: @spiritofthenortheners | AO3

art by the amazing Marbledpolecat 💛 @marbled-polecat | AO3

Summary: During the chaotic early weeks of the Empire, a rogue Imperial Commander survives Lord Vader’s wrath. Onboard a stolen freighter, IC-1010 leaves Coruscant behind, with nothing but his fragmented memories and the Emperor's pet project in tow. The man who used to be Commander Fox sets himself one last mission: to find the remnants of ARC-5555 from the broken mind of a brand new Death Trooper.

Rated E

Word Count ~15000

Tags/ Major warnings: Commander Fox/ ARC-5555 Fives; Post Order 66; Mind Control Aftermath and Recovery; Memory Issues; Dehumanization; Angst and Hurt/Comfort; References to: Drinking, Drugs, Casual Sex, Suicidal Ideation, Torture; Angst with a Happy Ending

Snippet:

Fives had started babbling about another him, a black-clad, weird and threatening and wrong trooper who’d been in his cell. Fox had grimaced, wanting to tell Fives that maybe Force users fucking with both of their minds had caused that. He had no idea how much damage the former Chancellor had inflicted on Fox’s own mind during the past years, with or without the chip. Fives’ nightmare trooper was explainable. Just a dream. Fives had been a puppet for the Emperor’s advanced-level dark side mind fuckery but it was more likely Fives was just suffering from drug withdrawal–induced hallucinations. No Force or other puppeteering was necessary. Maybe. Hopefully.

Probably.

The biggest issue was that Fives seemed to be losing it and this was not a good time to try to explain anything. Fox absolutely shouldn’t talk about Vader’s true identity to a confused half-amnestic man who might not even remember anything about his former General.

Fox had watched Thire’s helmet camera footage from Mustafar. All of it. Seen what the cripled creature under black cybernetics and breathing apparatus looked like. Seen acidic yellow in the former Jedi’s eyes.

Of course he would explain. Just not yet. At the moment Fox settled for snatching the sharp object from Fives’ trembling fingers and flopping down next to him with a grunt. Fox sighed and dragged Fives closer, almost on his lap.

They had time. Maybe.

[graylinesspam]

Glad you’re finally updating your ASOI series!! haven’t heard about it in a while

Speaking of… I had a thought the other day about the public’s view on the clones (and I had no one to share it with so I’ll just dump it in your ask box if you don’t mind)

Anyway, civilians in most of the clone centric fics I read are very hostile towards clones for some reason and I find it very implausible.

Just think of it, there are genetically modified soldiers who are badass, wear cool armor and are also extremely hot.

And now imagine if that happened in real life… I really think people would love them and also sympathize with them due to them technically being slaves. And Ahsoka’s interviews would only add fuel to the fire because now they have NAMES and can hear stories of their beloved heroes.

But what’s more important, everyone would be thirsting over them.

And what happens in real life when people unanimously thirst over someone? They make edits. They make edits and write fanfiction and create whole ass blogs dedicated to the object of their thirst.

I bet the boys constantly record holos of them being badasses on the frontlines and a lot of recordings would mysteriously end up leaked, so the editors would have more than enough material

I can imagine Ahsoka sending Rex some holo and it’s an edit of him to the most unholy track you’ve ever heard which has like a billion likes and WILDING comments (something among the lines of “he walks like it’s heavy” with the replies “I can hold it for him”). He honestly doesn’t know how to react to that, like he is mortified (and a bit flattered really).

And some parts of it might actually be cannon given how many girls hang out at 79’s, they definitely know where the good stuff is ;)

And then the fangirls become a big group of clone-sympathizers who go on strikes for for clones’ rights and it somehow leads to the discovery of the chips and somehow palpatine dies and order you-know-what never happens and the war ends and clones get refund for years of service and everyone lives happily ever after. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

No but this 1000% percent. You nailed it in one. Theres already a lot of bad feelings toward the jedi that Palpatine has been sowing the seeds for a long time. So I'd be hesitant to say that the citizens are immidietly chill with the clones. That's just not how the propaganda machine works. Especially since pretty much the only reactions the citizens have to the clones in cannon are negative. HOWEVER, firstly the anti-clone protests are primarily on Coruscant where the clones are not doing anything positive, they're acting as an unwelcome military police (which is literally always bad) or they're being drunk and disorderly in public (which is objectively funny).

But as for the rest of the galaxy? especially the planets where the clones are actively doing some good? GIRL. The republic is trying to portray the clones as a professional unified military force, but Ahsoka totally undermines all of that by bringing clone business to public attention. And as internet culture always does the citizens have a fucking field day with every scrap of information she gives up.

Like babes you have no idea how much of this AU is fueled by me joke watching clone thirst traps and thinking "I bet this would actually happen in SW" It starts with the public hounding her for details about Anakin cuz he's like a heart throb and she's all like "can we talk about anything other than how bad you all want to fuck him?" and she insists on talking about the clones instead, so all these thirsty ass hos who've hopped on the stream to hear some juicy Anakin content get introduced to a ROSTER of clones instead and some are like "y'know they are kinda cute" and then theres simps and people asking all kinds of questions about them and Ahsoka's doing shitty personality breakdowns.

I just don't know how to write that content in a way that's like Interesting. like just get on tiktok yourself i guess.

But like also Ahsoka reading the guys to filth too. Like she starts hyping them up then realizes that she's just fueling the simps so she just starts being painfully honest with the fangirls about their favorite clones.

like "wolffe girlies, I hate to tell you this, He does not give a fuck about you. He is not the grumpy to your sunshine. the man is a surely old bastard. He's like 6 I think? doesn't matter he was born a pissed off old man. He doesn't like you. He'll never like you. He likes exactly five people in the entire galaxy and I'm not even on that list anymore. And you don't even want to know what I had to do to get on it. Please realize that you are not special and he's not secretly soft and protective on the inside. He will hurt you're feelings."

And when I say that she is ALWAYS ragging on Fives. Every time she compliments him she has to pause and say "This is just gonna go to his head." And she takes every chance possible to humble him. "He might be one of my favorite brothers and one of the best men I've ever known but he's a fucking disaster. If it wasn't for my entire force ability and the best luck streak I've ever seen he'd be dead." She knows he thinks he's a hot shot ladie's man and she will NOT support his ego.

With Rex though? GIRL! Ahsoka shows such obvious favoritism for Rex. She shares the most information about him and his fandom absolutely pops off. He is that clone. footage of him and his easy-to-identify blonde hair absolutely flood the fan sites. THE EDITS??? THE COMMENT SECTIONS????? But Ahsoka's like nah that's MY Captain. (I don't ship them at all but I do think of Ahsoka as a very possessive person and Rex is literally her platonic soul mate) Like she's split between saying "Of course Rex has the biggest fanbase he's the single best man in the galaxy. literally, the only man who hasn't disappointed me. he's perfect of course they like him." but then also, "None of you are good enough for him. You should be honored if he shows interest in you on account of him being perfection incarnate"

The clone fandom in my Au mimics the actual one quite a lot including the small personality traits of the clones being way over exaggerated and then universally accepted. Like Kix gaining popularity bc Ahsoka still responds to all questions about her health and wellbeing with quips like "Of course I took my meds, wouldn't want an angry medic on me" and "Yes i disinfected the wound. If I didn't Kix might have a stroke" or one time she shook a vitimin bottle and said "See Kix, I'm responsible, I'm taking them."

I could seriously go on forever like this, I've practically written an essay already. But yeah. You get it.