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Thorn: I think there's something wrong with Fox. I walked into his office and he told me to make an appointment. Thire: So? He's a busy vod. Thorn: I was delivering caf. Thire: ... Thire: Okay, something might be wrong. Thorn: You think???

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That's so relatable. And there's all those tangled up feelings around the idea of writing. Not wanting to write, feeling guilty for not wanting to and not being able to even consider the idea of facing a blank page much less actually open one. Writing for yourself is really freeing. I don't think I could even have conceived of writing crack the way I do now back before everything went wrong, yet it's the best part of my writing now. So yeah. I hope you find your own joy again.

Today I re-read some old (like, 10 years old) bits and pieces of half-finished fics that have been languishing on my computer

I haven't written something I was happy with in a year and a half now, I think. Haven't written much at all, really

I was surprised how much I like those old bits. The ones that are actually written out sound so good, and the ones that are just bullet points and bits of dialogue still have so much emotion, and connection to the multi-book canon they're woven between. (I actually got super emotional over a bit that was just 5 lines of dialogue between a man and his dead lover's young daughter, that ended with "Can I tell you a story about your daddy?")

I realized I've forgotten so much of the canon that some parts of it don't make sense to me anymore. It made me really want to re-read everything. Which would take a while! It was about 12 novels when I was writing, and more have been published now.

I've had so many ideas recently, in other fandoms, and I haven't even bothered to write out the summaries or any bits and pieces. I've felt like it wasn't worth it if I wouldn't be capable of writing the whole thing. I've felt myself losing the ideas too, forgetting what they were about. I was surprised how moved I was by those decade-old bits, and it made me think I should really write down what I've got going through my head now. If nothing else, it would be nice to re-read it down the line and feel something.

It all just somehow made me feel connected to the craft of writing, and not just the idea of a story. I think that's something I've needed for a while.

Mostly I've only written for bangs or exchanges lately- I felt like I needed the external motivation. But now, I really want to try writing for myself again.

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"Are you still the one I used to know?"

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Fives: I'm not crazy, Echo had me tested! Tup: Really? Echo: Of course I did. Fives: And the test said I was perfectly sane. Echo: Because you sliced the testing program! Echo: Given that I might not have caught you if you hadn't added that you should be made Duke of Fries, I'm questioning that diagnosis. Fives: You forgot the bit about me being a sexy beast! Echo: I know. I was trying to repress that part.

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The thing with humans is that 'where there's a will, there's a way' is literally true. A little something I wrote for the 'humans are space orcs' reddit.

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Fox: Hello, senator. I hope you die in a fiery speeder crash. Thorn: ::hissing:: Fox! You can't say something like that just because you're having a bad day. Fox: Thorn. I got electrocuted by the chancellor for the third time this month and haven't slept in 48 hours. Let me have this. Thorn: Just be nice to the people who can have us both killed, pretty please? Fox: I hope you die in a fiery speeder crash, senators. Have a nice day. Thorn: ::facepalm:: Fox: What? It's not like they're listening. Bail: Did Commander Fox just tell us to die in a fiery speeder crash? Amidala: That's very unlike him. It must be some kind of coded message. Perhaps warning us of an assassination attempt? We should take special precautions. Bail: And perhaps send the commander a thank you gift should this turn out to be a legitimate threat. Amidala: Some caf? He sounded more tired than usual. Bail: I know just the place.

Thorn: Fox, you got a box from those senators you told to die in a speeder accident! It's probably got decommissioning orders in it. Should I destroy it and pretend it got lost in the mail? Fox: Coward. ::opens box:: Thorn: Is that... the good caf? From the tap cafe in the upper levels who won't even let clones on guard detail stand outside? Fox: I guess you were right. It does pay to be nice.

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Tech: I cannot find the fleet. There is no sign of them despite the impossibility of the entire GAR vanishing at once. Hunter: Have you looked everywhere? Tech: ::adjusts glasses:: Do you have any idea how big the galaxy is?  I could search for a hundred years and not cover half of it.  I am attempting to sort the possibilities brought up by search criteria into order by likelihood.   The sheer number of rumors to sort through is a bottleneck.  Do you have any idea how much data is reported every day? And how exponentially that amount increases when you include mere speculations? Wrecker:  Yeah!  So you just have to take out all the places they aren't and then we'll know where to look! Tech: … Tech: Where they aren't? Wrecker:  Yeah!  Crossy's gonna be with the ones who deserted and people'd notice a whole lot of ships hanging around anywhere obvious.  So after you take those places out, you're gonna do your criteria thingy and we'll know where to go! Tech: Excuse me.  I need to bang my head against the wall. Hunter: Again??

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Fives: It's so unfair. Dogma: What's unfair? Fives: How kriffing pretty Tup is! That vod could literally commit a crime and just smile his way out of it! Dogma: On that note, sometimes it's a good thing. Fives: What? Dogma: One time, we got stopped for recklessly piloting a speeder in heavy traffic and the Guard let us go because Tup "looked trustworthy". Fives: So? Dogma: I was the one driving. ::later:: Fives: Wait. You were driving recklessly? Dogma: You try telling Tup 'no' when he looks at you with those big brown eyes and asks you to go fast because playing nuna bird with traffic makes him feel happy. Fives: ... Fives: Point taken.

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the inevitable conclusion

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Alpha-17 definitely encountered one of the Nulls while raising the CC batch and he definitely handled it by chucking the cadet he was carrying at them. The Null — who for the sake of clarity we’ll just assume was Ordo —, regardless of any moral deficiencies, caught the cadet on instinct, having not expected 17 to just do that.

Unfortunately for him, the cadet was Fox. Who promptly started attacking his face like a rabid honey badger.

(It took a full forty-five minutes to pry him off Ordo, and it only really worked because 17 got bored and told Fox to get his ass over there so they could rejoin the others.)

(Needless to say, 17’s kids aren’t too impressed with the Nulls.

Cody: Well if it isn’t Flighty McBitchass.

Mereel: Great, you’re one of his.)

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Alpha-17 definitely encountered one of the Nulls while raising the CC batch and he definitely handled it by chucking the cadet he was carrying at them. The Null — who for the sake of clarity we’ll just assume was Ordo —, regardless of any moral deficiencies, caught the cadet on instinct, having not expected 17 to just do that.

Unfortunately for him, the cadet was Fox. Who promptly started attacking his face like a rabid honey badger.

(It took a full forty-five minutes to pry him off Ordo, and it only really worked because 17 got bored and told Fox to get his ass over there so they could rejoin the others.)

(Needless to say, 17’s kids aren’t too impressed with the Nulls.

Cody: Well if it isn’t Flighty McBitchass.

Mereel: Great, you’re one of his.)

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I was trying to decide where my current fic falls in this and coming up with 'but he's not NOT a ding dong' -- then this gave me inspiration for where to take my next chapter, so thank you.

Fanfic Search, Hard Mode: Find a fic where Fives is written in character and not as a flirtatious ding-dong.

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All I can think of when I see this is:

can you put commander fox in a fly trap?

Yeah idk if he likes that tbh

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My cover for @untoldstoriescwzine!

Featuring my favorites, the best twi'lek baby Numa and the best boys Waxer and Boil! It was my first ever cover and it was such a great experience!

There’s still the leftover sale going on, so don’t miss it!