#The Courage to be Disliked

[deeply-winter]

books that have changed the way I think:

the courage to be disliked by ichiro kishimi

braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer

women who run with the wolves by clarissa pinkola estés

the day the world stopped shopping by jb mackinnon

the red tent by anita diamant

the art of frugal hedonism by adam grubb & annie raser-rowland

caliban and the witch by silvia federici

when the body says no by gabor maté

a swim in a pond in the rain by george saunders

[hergreensmagazine]

Perspective.

'That's what it means to live in your subjective world. There is no escape from your own subjectivity.' (From The courage to be Disliked)

If you don't like the world you live in. Change your perspective. Go within, look at your beliefs and the ideas you have accepted as your innermost truth. It's time for a clean up.

[haveyoureadthisbook-poll]

[jadeseadragon]

Jane Seymour Fonda, born December 21, 1937.

I saw her in person at the FTA Show (Fuck the Army or Air Force depending on which base she was near) in 1972.

I respect her intelligence and courage to speak her mind. She stood up to conservatives despite her privileged background and men kissing her ass because she was beautiful.

As usual conservatives were hypocritical. Ronald Reagan was applauded and admired for speaking his mind, but she was villified

[malsuppet]

“Suppose that I had two choices in front of me—a life in which all people like me, and a life in which there are people who dislike me—and I was told to choose one. I would choose the latter without a second thought. Before being concerned with what others think of me, I want to follow through with my own being. That is to say, I want to live in freedom.”

- Ichiro Kishimi

[1941-crowley-slut]

A few things I got from The courage to be disliked so far.

[keanuquotes]

[crstnjnblr]

Finally finished The Courage To Be Disliked. I must confess there were moments of frustration and grappling with the ideas and literally tossing the book away lol. Welp, it really challenged my mind's framework but coming into the last chapters, the pieces finally fell into place.

"The life that ends at the age of twenty and the life that ends at ninety are both complete lives, and lives of happiness." This is my nth self help book since my mom died. Idk, perhaps I'm looking for an affirmation or something about her life, her death, or just human life in general. And this felt like it. Every time people talk about my mom, most of the time, it goes about how untimely it was. And even within my own family, I would constantly hear my brother say "sayang, hindi ko man lang naparamdam kay mama 'to *insert typical milestone*"... I know (and it also awfully pains me tbh) that she died without experiencing a lot of things. She didn't get to see my brother finish law school, didn't get to see me in my Sablay on a stage, didn't get to see another country, didn't get to see us married or have grandchildren, etc. I totally get the guilt and regret, but there's also a strong internal debate that it isn't right to feel that her life went about just like that because she missed some "core memories." I know deep in my heart that she lived earnestly and the people saying "sayang kasi hindi *ganito*, hindi *ganyan*" - we are all wrong. She's the kind of person who actually lived the series of moments of her life (that's why she's such a sunshine even if she's just playing candy crush or watching K-drama) and that is enough. Her life wasn't unfulfilled just because she didn't get to see these milestones set by others and arrived at their expectations.

She danced and her dance ended at fifty-eight. It is a complete, fulfilled life, a life of happiness.

[keichanreads]

The Third Night: Discard other people's tasks

this book IS FUCKING GOLD

i am at 40% AND I WANT TO HIGHLIGHT EVERY WORD IN IT

[middleagerunblog]

XVIII.

I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself To hold on to these moments as they pass

I am far from perfect, but I like to think I'm trying my best. I am bad at gift giving and wish I could do this Christmas over. It's going to be a long last week of December if I'm going to continue to be this sad.

Yesterday, I went for my run. Ran the appropriate mileage at the appropriate pace, the only act I completed with any semblance of intentionality. For everything else, I just sort of went through the motions.

After my run, I reread--as I often do when I struggle to communicate my feelings to the people I love--my notes on The Courage to be Disliked. You only notice your shortcomings because you've resolved to not liking yourself. You were so afraid of interpersonal relationships you decided to dislike yourself.

Later I reread the chapter in Kafka on the Shore where the school teacher describes Nakata as a young boy before the incident that stole his memory and his intelligence, and the way she talks about him haunts me today as I feel sad:

I felt a sense of resignation in him. Even when he did well on difficult assignments, he never seemed happy. He never struggled to succeed, never seemed to experience the pain of trial and error. He never sighed or cracked a smile. It was as if these were things he had to get through, so he just did them.

Today, I will go for another run. I will log on to work. I will spend time with my family. Hopefully, I will find some courage, I will communicate better, and I will be happier, or at least less sad.

[deeply-winter]

remember when they told us that failure is not an option?

I’m learning now that failure is, in fact, an option. Sometimes it’s the best option, the option that allows you to move forward with your life, the option that stops you from being stuck.

[kitabcorner]

Transformative Lessons from 3 Inspiring Books on Resilience, Self-Acceptance, and Inner Strength

Discover powerful insights on resilience, self-acceptance, and inner strength from The Art of Being Alone, The Courage to Be Disliked, and Can’t Hurt Me.

[minesinger]

You choose your lifestyle.

(With your personality).

Lifestyle is a representation of how you see the world. You choose your world vision consciously which is the representation of your character.

For example, a person that is pessimistic see the world in a pessimistic way. And has a pessimistic way of life. And pessimistic lifestyle. And a pessimist personality.

So, all the negative personalities are counsusly chosen by the own person.

You have to have courage to choose a positive lifestyle. Your have to have courage to change your negative lifestyle/personality and change it for a positive one.

[malsuppet]

- “We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them.”

- “The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment”

- “To get rid of one’s problems, all one can do is live in the universe all alone. But one can’t do such a thing.”

- “Those who go so far as to boast about things out loud actually have no confidence in themselves. As Adler clearly indicates, ‘The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.’

- “In our culture weakness can be quite strong and powerful.”

- “The moment one is convinced that ‘I am right’ in an interpersonal relationship, one has already stepped into a power struggle.” “It clouds your judgement, and all you can see is imminent victory or defeat. Then you turn down the wrong path. It’s only when we take away the lenses of competition and winning and losing that we can begin to correct and change ourselves.”

- “Everything is an interpersonal relationship issue.”

- “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

- “YOUTH: The counsellor does not change the client’s life?

PHILOSOPHER: You are the only one who can change yourself.”

- “Children who have not been taught to confront challenges will try to avoid all challenges.”

- “freedom is being disliked by other people’.”

- “There may be a person who does not think well of you, but that is not your task.”

The courage to be disliked by Ichiro Kishimi.

[convivance]

One has to get recognition, or one will suffer. If one doesn’t get recognition from others and from one’s parents, one won’t have confidence. Can such a life be healthy? So one could think, God is watching, so accumulate good deeds. But that and the nihilist view that “there is no God, so all evil deeds are permitted” are two sides of the same coin. Even supposing that God did not exist, and that we could not gain recognition from God, we would still have to live this life. Indeed, it is in order to overcome the nihilism of a godless world that it is necessary to deny recognition from other people.

—Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi, from The Courage to Be Disliked.

[wisemancax]

The Courage to Be Disliked

Key Learnings from “The Courage to Be Disliked”: 1. Freedom of Choice: We have the power to choose our own responses and actions, independent of past experiences or societal expectations. Taking responsibility for our choices empowers us to shape our lives. 2. Letting Go of Validation: Seeking validation from others can be limiting and can hinder our growth. Embracing our true selves and living…