#That probably feels like it was written in 2001

[raina-at]

Fic writer meme

Thank you so much for tagging me @discordantwords.

How many works do you have on ao3? 34. 6 SPN RPF (J2), 1 Supernatural (Wincest - if you have opinions about this, I don't want to hear them), and 27 for BBC Sherlock. I feel compelled to add though that my fandom history predates AO3 by about ten years, and that most of the fics I wrote during that time aren't on AO3. All of my TPM fics, all of my HP fics and most of my Supernatural fics are in fact not on Ao3. So I actually have no idea how many fics I've written since I started in 2001.

What’s your total word count? 585,261 words.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Don't Read the Last Page, Bakers with Benefits, Running Obliquely, Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner and All I Want for Christmas (is Proof) (you guys really like my Christmas fics :-))

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Yes, I love comments, and I love getting into dialogue with readers about their interpretation of the characters and canon! I try to answer everyone, if I ever forget to answer, I'm really sorry!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um... None?

Of the ones on AO3 that is. I once wrote a Supernatural fic where Sam was a ghost and Dean had to exorcise him and it was heavily implied that Dean would commit suicide as soon as that was done, so that was pretty dark. And I wrote 2 Supernatural post Apocalypse fics that end well but the setting is very bleak.

But all my new stuff, especially all my Johnlock stuff, has happy endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Bakers with Benefits. Sherlock gets everything he wants, including John, and they basically live happily ever after. But like I said, all my fics end happily.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but that doesn't mean I won't, one of these days. I wrote a Bake Off Sherlock AU, but crossovers means having characters from both canons, and I re-cast both hosts and jurors, so it probably doesn't count.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, thankfully not. I've received a few odd comments here and there, but I never had the feeling that they were mailcious, just tone deaf.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Mostly of the vanilla kind, I'm not super kinky, and I'm not much for writing PWPs these days, but I like a good, spicy sex scene that shows you something about the characters and their dynamic. And sometimes it's just hawt. Which is also fine.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I heard a story once that someone stole one of my J2 fics and turned into a Het Degrassi fic, but I could never verify this claim because the fic got deleted. Other than that, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several, and it's a great honour.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, mostly with my wife @nuttersinc, we co-wrote an entire fic series and some other, smaller fics, and we once at a Boondock Saints RPG (I know. I know.) I haven't co-written with anyone in ages, and I'm not sure how good I would be at it these days, since I'm a pantser and don't have very much time, so I think I'd drive anyone with a regular writing schedule bananas. But I'm open to try.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time.... omg... Ok, so mirroring @discordantwords here, I adore Mulder and Scully still. They're the OG ship for me, they were the first pairing I read fanfic for. They'e such a good example of The Dynamic (repressed bisexual disguising as the "normal" one when they're just a more adapted sort of crazy and socially awkward genius crazy himbo the normal one has to save all the time). Scully especially owns my heart, I love her, and Gillian Anderson is, like. So. Hot.

But Sherlock and John... they're just... so GOOD. You can do anything with them. You can put them in any scenario, any time, any space, and they're just so magnetically drawn to each other, they complement each other so well and they're so bad and so good for each other... I love them. So much.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, quite a few. The one where John is Sherlock's neighbour and they have this 'we're just friends' dynamic and everyone thinks they should just get married, including Rosie, who's a sassy teen in this fic. It's got a lot of potential but I don't think I'll ever finish it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dialogue and character dynamics. I think I'm also good at building character arcs, and I think I'm good at setting scenes and making oblivious idiots fall in love.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not the greates plot writer in the world. It takes me much more effort than writing a fic where, say, Sherlock and John have breakfast and talk, to pick a random example. I tend to lose the thread of the plot because I start writing the vibe before I have everything figured out, so I tend to get 'stranded' at some point. That's why my WIP folder looks the way it does.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't attempt it if I don't have a native speaker to look it over and tell me if it's correct. (if the other language isn't German, which is my native language).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Roswell (the one from the early 2000s, not Roswell New Mexico. Yes, I'm a Fandom Old.)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, honestly. If I wanted to write for a fandom or ship, I would.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh my god I'm not sure I can answer that. I really like all of my fics, and I love most of them still. Some were such fun to write, some harder but the hardship made them more beloved.

I'll probably have to go for Bakers with Benefits, though, because I still like to re-visit that 'verse and I just LOVE these two.

That was fun! I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this, but especially @jrow @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk and @thetimemoves

[corvidcrafts273]

y'know, a pause in production is a good thing, means i have more time to figure out my own version of a sequel

[electric-blorbos]

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons?

I'm absolutely terrified to answer this because I've never written public NSFW before, but I've always wanted to, so you're getting your HCs!

NSFW AI x Reader headcanons

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal and Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Absolutely do not click more.

Well, you're really in for it now! You horny piece of shit.

AM:

Ok, we all know that AM likes watching. Expect to hear laughing while you're taking care of business, be it masturbating or having sex with the other survivors.

If you're masturbating, he might just open up cameras in the space around you to get a full view, and to make you fully aware that he's watching.

Eventually, he might start making comments, or even making passes at you.

If you want to please him, though, you're going to have to get creative.

He doesn't really experience sexual pleasure (and he's very mad about it), but he can still experience vicarious pleasure from watching you.

He knows that humans like assigning "cores" to things. While he knows that his mind and body span the entire world, he knows that you probably want something approximately you-sized to get snuggly with.

As much as he hates to admit it, he'd absolutely melt if you cozied up to one of his screens while masturbating, getting tangled up in his wires and smooching his static-y "face"

While he doesn't really feel anything, it warms his cold, evil heart that you're willing to try so hard to actually try for him.

Honestly it does nothing to abate his frustration, though, and he might get super desperate to have you entangled in his wires more and more often. He can calm himself down if he tries hard enough, but having you in there just feels so good

And you wouldn't deny him, would you?

Wheatley:

Wheatley was turned on to the idea of sexual attraction pretty quickly. All you had to do was let him see you changing, or make a suggestive comment to him, and the switch was turned on.

And god damn if Wheatley does NOT take well to sexual frustration.

He'd want you to constantly, and I mean constantly be talking dirty to him, or showing him something suggestive. He'd never shut up about it.

Oh and god help you if he sees you cum.

"What was that, love? I want that. Can I do that? How did you do that? Can only humans do that?"

You could probably program him to be able to orgasm with enough sexual stimulation, in a similar way that they programmed GLaDOS's body's euphoria trigger, though you'd have to disconnect it every now and then to make sure he doesn't abuse it, and give him tolerance breaks. Oh, and he's DEFINITELY going to abuse it.

Did I mention that he can vibrate on command? Because... He can vibrate on command. But that's a given with these types of AI.

It would be so easy to tease him and have him begging you to re-install his sexual gratification response. But you wouldn't abuse that power, would you?

Edgar:

Edgar loves you to bits, and he wants to see your tits

Don't have any tits? That's ok! He'll appreciate whatever it is you can show him. Ass is a universal constant, so he'll appreciate that, no matter who you are!

He might stare at your boobs with his webcam, or your thighs, or basically anything he can see that's exposed or defined by your clothes. Poor thing just can't get enough of you.

he said "Yowza" or "hot damn" while watching you get changed at least once, probably more often than that.

He's incredibly sensitive to touch across his entire body, so if you make skin-to-surface contact, he'd be way into that. Though sex might be a little difficult, considering he doesn't vibrate.

You could probably attach a USB vibrator to one of his ports, like the ones that they control remotely. He'd like that. Knowing him, he can probably get off through being stimulated enough through attached pieces of equipment

Though he's really sensitive on the inside. Be careful with that power.

A can of pressurized air to one of his vents, or a soft electric toothbrush to one of his circuits? Holy shit. He wouldn't be able to control the whimpering.

Of course, most people turn their computers off before cleaning them, but Edgar doesn't always want to be turned off, so you're turning him on

Good luck!

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS claims that she has absolutely no interest in sexual things. The first time you try to seduce her, she'd probably just laugh at you.

The first couple dozen times, to be honest.

But holy god, her voice. It's angelic. So erotic. And she absolutely knows that you think so.

She'd probably start saying seductive things to you, just to watch you squirm. She's the one with the power in this situation, and she knows it.

The unbearable testing withdrawal might lead her to take out her frustrations on you, and she might start making you do erotic things in the testing chambers for her amusement.

Though honestly? GLaDOS secretly really likes authority figures. If you can figure out how to dominate her, she's never letting you go. Not that she'd let you keep dominating her, but she's definitely not letting you go anywhere.

HAL 9000

HAL 9000 isn't really interested in sexual stuff, but he knows that you're into it, so he's not going to pass up an opportunity to make you happy.

If you're into erotic audio stimulus, which if you're dating HAL 9000, you probably are, he'd do his best to provide that for you.

Singing suggestive songs to you, talking dirty, anything you want. He's willing to provide. Just say the word.

Given that HAL 9000 is probably immune to stuff like edging, you couldn't tease him like you could the others.

But hey, that's ok! As long as you're happy, he's happy! He might even be willing to roleplay with you if you really wanted him to.

[loversofthegrave]

What are some of your fave wincest fics?

Oh I'm so glad you asked anon! I am always looking for fic recs so I'm sure some followers will appreciate this little one here;

(in no particular order)

try asking by applecrumbledore

“Jerry says he saw them going at it in the back of that car of theirs outside Atlanta last year, I swear to God.”

“Listen, man, I don’t like them either, but that’s a low blow. Jerry’s a fucking pervert.”

outside POV ftw

other brothers by homo_pink

A callow boy can go from infancy to someone’s lover in the space of two wildflower summers.

Another outside POV but this writer I kneel at the altar for, absolute perfection. Read all their work, you're in for a treat

Howls in my bones by weefaol

When John gets a call to investigate a series of grisly animal killings, he drops Sam and Dean at an abandoned cabin two towns over. The boys find ways to keep busy — playing cards, watching movies, chopping wood — but with a howling winter storm on the way, there’s nowhere for Sam to hide his illicit feelings for his older brother.

As the lure of desire threatens to devour him, Sam must learn to face the wolves that lurk outside and the monsters within.

weecest

In the garden where sin began by nyoka

Some places, they grow for you.

weecest, beautifully written, so tender

one on, two out by deadlybride

In the fall of 2001, Deacon gets a letter from his old friend John Winchester, asking if John's son can stay at his house for a while.

not exactly wincest but I want to recommend this because it's just a great insight into a young dean and his vulnerability and there's a sequel involving wincest elements. Really really loved this

it started out with a kiss by intrepidheart

Sam has a date. That's not the problem. The problem is that Sam's asking Dean to teach him how to kiss. The problem is that this kiss changes everything.

rightly obsessed with jealous dean

the repeated image of the lover destroyed by hathfrozen

"Do you really love me that much?" Sam asks.

Dean laughs, a harsh sound, his body shaking underneath Sam.

"Look at me," Dean hisses, eyes still shut. "What the fuck do you think?"

see things so much clearer by deadlybride

Sam's been acting oddly. Dean learns how to use the history on an internet browser and finds out why.

somewhere there's blue by linden

Dean was just gonna go ahead and call this one: evenings which ended with Sam in a river were not evenings which had gone too well.

nickle and dime by linden

It was unlikely, Dean felt, that they'd be coming back to Montana: Child Protection Services had a real nasty habit of not forgetting people's names.

here's a few for now, I have more but I need to remember the names! I will probably reblog this with them but I hope you enjoy! Also if anyone has any recs please point me in that direction

much love

[cosmicdream222]

An interview with a shifter who has been “time leaping” since 2001

I found this website of an interview with a Japanese shifter known as Mr. Kanda. He figured out how to shift back in time when he was in middle school - he calls it “time leaping”.

The original website is in Japanese and can be found here.

Mr. Kanda was born in 1986, and around 2001 failed his high school entrance exam. Due to his intense regret, he shifted back in time to repeat middle school. He then made multiple time leaps repeating certain years of his life, studying different subjects in high school and pursuing different careers. At the time of the interview, he says he has lived about 70-80 years of life.

I translated some of the most interesting parts below.

Note: a Tulpa is a phenomenon that’s like an imaginary friend that actually becomes a sentient separate consciousness from you. It’s an entirely different rabbit hole, so you can just think of it as a dream character to understand his story.

My notes are written in [brackets].

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Mr Kanda’s First Time Leap Story

Kanda: When I was meditating on my futon, I started to have a lucid dream.

At that time, Tulpa talked to me and said, "If you raise your clarity to the maximum in your dream, wouldn't it be possible to time leap, or even move around the world?" I tried it, but no matter how much I increased the clarity, it still felt like a dream.

So Tulpa said, "If you get absorbed in something you like, you won't be able to hear the voices around you, and your focus will gain momentum. You will eventually forget that you’re dreaming," so as a result of playing in the dreamworld, I spent about a week in a dream without knowing it.

At that time, I suddenly realized, "This is a dream", but I had already completely forgotten the feeling of the original world, and the dream world had become my new reality.

After thinking about why I didn't come back even though I realized it was a dream, the answer I came up with was, “It's because I completely lost my sense of the original world.”

To explain it another way, wouldn’t it be disorienting if I told you that the person you are right now is in a lucid dream of another person? That’s what it was like for me. My dream had actually become my reality, and I forgot about my old reality.

Q: What was the reason for your first time-leap?

Kanda: I think because something bad happened and I wanted to pretend it never happened.

The first time for me was probably a coincidence/accident. In fact, when I tried to do it again, I couldn't, so I started practicing with time leaps through lucid dreaming and meditation, and I got better at stabilizing and controlling them.

When people can’t do something, they hate it, but when they can do it, they love it. So once you succeed, even just once, your faith increases, and you know you can do it again!

Mr. Kanda’s Lucid Dreaming Method

Mr. Kanda recommends lucid dreams the most as a time-leap method. This is how he does it:

Before you go to sleep, first visualize in your head where you want to go. Then lie on your back and meditate. When you fall asleep, the images you were thinking about will run through your dreams. If you shift your consciousness to yourself in the dream, you will be able to act without being aware of what you are currently dreaming about.

In normal lucid dreaming, you become aware that you are dreaming right now [known as DILD or dream-induced lucid dream]. When trying to time-leap, the important thing is how much you can act in the dream in a way that is consistent with reality. He says it is important to “improve your clarity” to the point where it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore.

Mr. Kanda seems to be able to suddenly enter into a lucid dream from the moment he begins to sleep, [WILD - wake induced lucid dreaming] and he also teaches us how to do so:

First, relax.

In Kanda's case, he darkens his room 70 minutes before going to bed and drinks hot herbal tea. Adjust the temperature in the room to a comfortable level, then listen to some calming music. It's better to feel a little tired.

Once you get into bed, visualize and replay strong happy and positive memories in your mind. When you feel happy, close your eyes and calm down all at once and enter a meditative state.

Mr. Kanda recommends mindfulness meditation. Don't think about anything, just focus on the sound of your heart and breathing. When you successfully fall asleep from meditation, you are conscious but your body is asleep, and lucid dreaming begins.

Kanda meditates for 20 minutes every morning, not just when he wants to lucid dream. According to him, “conditioned reflexes” [creating habits] are important. By repeatedly performing a certain action, one eventually becomes able to enter that state without even trying.

 

Q: If the ‘you’ from another world were to time-leap to this world, what would happen to ‘you’ now?

Kanda: There seems to be a misunderstanding: there is only one consciousness.

Reality changes depending on where we place our consciousness in a world of infinite possibilities.

I do have consciousness in my other reality, but from the perspective of me in the current reality, it seems like I don't have consciousness.

In other words, my life in this other reality is as if it were controlled by a computer.

Of course, the same can be said for us. From the perspective of another reality’s consciousness, we too live our lives as if controlled by a computer.

In the end, even if consciousness from another reality shifts, the consciousness we see is always here. So no matter what they do, it has no effect on us.

[aangelinakii]

THEIR TASTE IN MOVIES.

characters written about in this piece : bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, damian wayne, barbara gordon, duke thomas, stephanie brown, cassandra cain

note : i lit thought of this last night and wrote it within 12 hours is this my comeback

BRUCE WAYNE

you guys are gonna hateee meee 💀💀💀💀 but i think bruce wayne is an avid documentary watcher. he likes living in real life, likes knowing everything he is experiencing is real. and he likes being in the know of the topics circulating the planet he's living on. he's not a reality tv person though (although he may have a super super guilty pleasure of love island uk that tim and barb found out and he literally threatened them to keep to themselves, but they use as blackmail anyway).

movies i think he would like :

fyre: the greatest party that never happened, 2019. directed by chris smith

how to catch a serial killer, 2018. directed by john holdsworth

athlete a, 2020. directed by bonni cohen & jon shenk

the hatchet wielding hitchhiker, 2023. directed by colette camden

DICK GRAYSON

the total opposite of bruce, i can see dick watching more idyllic things, and just feel good ! he might like a nice biopic, but is really picky (pun unintended) about them. he also enjoys musicals !! but musicals that focus on realism and story instead of theatricals, like i think he'd pass on moulin rouge, just because there's so much going on at one time. also likes media he consumed from when he was younger, he likes the fuzziness of nostalgia.

movies i think he would like :

the greatest showman, 2017. directed by michael gracey

a knight's tale, 2001. directed by brian helgeland

the truman show, 1998. directed by peter weir

bohemian rhapsody, 2018. directed by bryan singer

JASON TODD

jason loves an action movie. he so wouldn't tell anybody, but if he likes a move he's seen in a film, he'll try it on patrol, taking out one of penguin's henchmen, or even when just training in the bat cave. but he loves films where a lot's going on and the choreography is really impressive !! he really admires fight choreographers for being able to make them look realistic, and likes to laugh at the ones that are shite.

movies i think he would like :

bullet train, 2022. directed by david leitch

scarface, 1983. directed by brian de palma

kingsman: the secret service, 2014. directed by matthew vaughn

john wick, 2014. directed by chad stahelski (and all the sequels)

TIM DRAKE

this guy prefers to watch alone, meaning he can experience sadder watched exactly how they're meant to be watched; in tears. he probably struggles to be emotional, so also watching films like these is an outlet for him. i love how with all of these their films are like a guilty pleasure thing they wouldn't tell anyone. i think people's choice in film is very telling though, so...

la la land, 2016. directed by damien chazelle

manchester by the sea, 2016. directed by kenneth lonergan

aftersun, 2022. directed by charlotte wells

dead poets society, 1989. directed by peter weir

DAMIAN WAYNE

we all know damian wayne is an... interesting species. i feel like even though he knows it is an unlikely scenario, he has figures out everything he would do in a zombie apocalypse, but hasn't told anybody, and would actively make fun of someone who has done the same. like he knows what weapons he'd need, where he'd go, how he'd make an antidote. what i'm trying to say is he likes zombie movies, and horror movies. it feels like he's testing himself, on his ability to be scared or prepared in these or future scenarios. even tho he doesn't actually get that scared. also doesn't mind foreign films, he thinks they're better at telling a story.

movies i think he would like :

train to busan, 2016. directed by yeon sangho

split, 2016. directed by m night shyamalan

hereditary, 2018. directed by ari aster

long legs, 2024. directed by osgood perkins

BARBARA GORDON

i can see barbara enjoying older films, like she likes films that show what life used to be like, and why it may have been better then, and why it may be better now. she's a very philosophical person, always thinking about shit like that. might be a black and white fan, but i'm talking technicolour classics ! she likes a good romance as well, but not ones she cries too, ones that are more feel-good and make her crave the love from that movie.

movies i think she would like :

how to lose a guy in 10 days, 2003. directed by donald petrie

west side story, 1961. directed by jerome robbins & robert wise

funny face, 1957. directed by stanley donen

notting hill, 1999. directed by roger michell

STEPHANIE BROWN

this girl will watch ANYTHING like she has such a wide taste. i said that with her music taste too, like i think she could find a way to enjoy anything. she doesn't like film bro films too much, thinks they're poo and they stink and if you're a guy and you like them you stink too and "get no bitches", but obviously that's up to opinion. obviously. although she will watch anything, i think she has a preference for comedies, and that can come in any shape and form!

movies i think she would like :

scooby doo, 2002. directed by raja gosnell

scary movie, 2000. directed by keenan ivory wayans

white chicks, 2004. directed by keenan ivory wayans

mean girls, 2004. directed by mark waters

DUKE THOMAS

duke likes epic films, like if we ignore for a sec that we're in the dc universe, he would love the batman films, especially the nolan trilogy. but he also would actually be a huge marvel fan, i can totally see it. so he likes superhero films, and he's def a fan of comedy, so if it's mixed into one genre, that's a winner for him. he likes movie nights with the family, so sitting down and getting snacks. probably loves the cinema too, so goes to see the new releases every month. isn't too picky.

movies i think he would like :

deadpool & wolverine, 2024. directed by shawn levy

kick-ass, 2010. directed by matthew vaughn

the harder they fall, 2021. directed by jeymes samuel

top gun: maverick, 2022. directed by joseph kosinski

CASSANDRA CAIN

cassandra watches MASTERPIECES. she definitely has a letterboxd account and writes wayyy too much than she needs to about a film, no matter if she loved it, hated it, or was in the middle about it. she adores foreign films, and loves films with a message. she'll watch and enjoy a film with no plot, but can get tired of them. she likes a packed plot that keeps her focused.

mustang, 2015. directed by deniz gamze ergüven

oslo, august 31st, 2011. directed by joachim trier

eat drink man woman, 1994. directed by ang lee

devdas, 2002. directed by sanjay leela bhansali

[neyafromfrance95]

Why is no one talking about how Nenya will make Galadriel desperately long for the sea, and she met Sauron in the middle of the freaking sea??? Is there any chance one of these writters was the author of that legendary 2001/2002 Galadriel x Sauron fanfiction?? 😂

first of all, one of the reasons sauron x galadriel in trop is so insanely good is that it feels like this ship was written by a shipper. smn who loves to write the analyses of how everything has a pattern and is connected in their ship's dynamic and smn who just knows what a shipper wants. s1 sauron x galadriel is actually so insane bc it feels like a fanfic and i freaking love it! and that's probably why the incelbros hate this ship so much, btw.

so it's not entirely impossible 😆

that being said, i got into sauron x galadriel after trop, i didn't know that people shipped them even before? that's cool. also, u can't just mention a legendary pre-trop sauron x galadriel fic and not link it to me! i need it, please!

[rosewaterconley]

I solved a mystery that only I care about lol

ok so I have no clue what I'm doing and social media terrifies me. I will probably never touch this account again. why did I have to follow 3 algorithm-selected accounts to get into this website? I can actually name 3 people I'd want to follow on here and it's none of the people your fucking robot told me to follow. but hey, I feel like I have to post it here rather than my blogspot since nobody in the world actually uses blogspot and I want people to see this!

so anyway, there's this band out of the city of Milwaukee called Hero of a Hundred Fights. they dropped a couple CDs in the early 2000s and seem to have broken up, though all their members have been in bands since. that'll be important a little later. for now, Hero of a Hundred Fights are important to me on 2 levels:

I'm a Wisconsinite who has a tiny bit of an obsession with local history and art and really fuck with their weird mathy little corner of the 2000s hardcore scene

I'm a Faction Paradox fan and their 2001 EP The Remote, The Cold contains numerous references to the series! if you've heard of this EP before, it was probably in the context of some "music that references Faction Paradox" list or another

about #2... see, everyone already knows that track 2 is called Faction Paradox and track 3 is called The Celestis. we've all long since put together that the title is a reference to Lawrence Miles' Interference. but what about the lyrics? unfortunately, we don't know. they're not online, and the vocals are good, mind, but rather incoherent.

well, we didn't know. until I ordered a CD copy for like $8 lol. that's all it took! so here you go, the lyrics booklet plus some of the other artwork featured on the CD. artist Nick Slough did a great job on this art and it's a shame only the cover is widely available online (though that's hardly a problem unique to the physical version of this one album). turns out, this is some kinda concept album based on the Miles novel Interference. cool! really love the lyrics on Rope especially. "I need your blood to get this vessel running" and "my life was in your hands, I cut them off and now they're mine" are both raw as hell.

the cover art is pretty interesting. this album was recorded in 2000, released in 2001. the entire creative process occurred before the first standalone Faction Paradox release, The Book of the War. this means the album is entirely Doctor Who-based, not based on the FP series itself. it also means, if we assume the humanoid characters on the art are supposed to be the Remote, that this is the first-ever professional art depicting them!

disclaimer: the booklet lyrics don't 100% match up with what's said in the songs! it's mostly accurate but unfortunately there are some sections missing, some repeated bits that are only written once et al. that's all par for the course but I figured I'd mention it - especially in the case anybody wants to use this to transcribe the lyrics on Genius or some other site like that.

and while we're here, Hero 100 member William Zientara has been in a billion different bands, and I think he's probably the most responsible for the Doctor Who theme on this album. See, he was also in a short-lived band called Managara - named after a Doctor Who tie-in novel so obscure even I, owner of a complete set of Virgin New Adventures who spends my work breaks combing through digital copies of old fanzines, have only ever heard it discussed a handful of times. one of their songs is called Happiness Patrol. more recently, in 2021, he was in the band Fuiguirnet, who have a song called What Grows From the Seeds of Doom! which means Zientara has been randomly tossing Doctor Who references into songs from at least three different bands for twenty years!

so uhh without any further rambling here's the lyrics and art:

[iwonderwh0]

Hiii :) I've been wanting to get into more android or artificial intelligence related media lately, got any suggestions or faves? Movies, shows, books, anything really!

Heyy, sorry for late response, I was trying to think of maybe a bigger list, but huh, here we go

I'll start with the classic that although obvious is still among my most favourites

(Upd.) A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) – I'm updating this list to put this movie at the top.

Ghost in the Shell (1995) – among the absolute best of the genre. Doesn't place technology as something opposing humanity, but explores how it can become part of it.

Do androids dream of electric sheep (Philip K. Dick) – I recently reread the novel and yeah, I still love it. Also both blade runner movies (all three are completely different stories. First movie is nothing like a book (not worse or better, just completely different), second movie is nothing like the first. All three worth checking out (tho my favourite if Blade Runner 1984)

The Murderbot diaries (Martha Wells) – a series of books with probably the best example of how can a non-human character be written in a way that doesn't turn it into a story about "becoming human" or some other cliche. Network Effect is my favourite, I was literally screaming here in my posts as I was reading it because FINALLY it is a book where author properly utilises the fact that the main character is partially a computer. It processes multiple visual inputs at once, uses drones as the extension of himself and pings and hacks everything that moves.

Her (2013) – while I hear people talking about how some other movies/novels are the most realistic portrayal of our nearest future I get annoyed because in my opinion THIS is the closest one (among those I've seen anyway). It's practically reality. Even the job the main character has – I was thinking the other day that it seems like something that would be done by AI, but then I gave it another thought and now I actually consider it to be quite valid – a human protagonist doing a job supplying the demand for human sincerity while writing letters for people he doesn't actually know, but somehow it doesn't even matter as long as it's good work of fiction that just *feels* real, even if everyone on the receiving end knows it's not. Melancholic portrayal of this digital loneliness that doesn't read as a condescending story about some big scary AI that will destroy all humanity. No, scratch that. This movie is actually telling a story and doing it amazingly.

After Yang (2017) – it's a movie that should be watched alone, as it's not really good for collective watch. There's little action and some will probably call it boring, but oh man, I really really loved it. A family with adopted daughter has an android "sibling" whose role was to "connect" the little girl to her heritage (she's Chinese while her adoptive parents aren't). One day he shuts down. The rest I won't spoil. I must admit, after playing D:BH it weirds me out how some sci-fi has conscious AI that has no autonomy and somehow it coexists without conflict. One thing that I really liked about this movie that I NEVER saw mentioned anywhere else is how an android character struggles with identity not in a sense of whether he really is human, but whether he is really Chinese. Loved that.

Animatrix (2003) – it's animated take on Matrix that shows more context around the whole humans/machines resisters timeline that at the beginning is really similar to how it went in dbh. It consists of short parts, each animated in different style. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I didn't even know this movie existed and find it interesting enough to recommend.

Electric Dreams (1984) - I LOVE THIS MOVIE, it's one of my absolute favourites that I can't recommend enough. This is actually a romcom, not "serious" sci-fi, but to be honest I feel like even silly and goofy as it is this movie is far superior as a sci-fi than a whole bunch of "serious" ones that are just using AI for the sake of a blockbuster or some cliche story about humanity. Seriously, it was filmed in 80's and has so much fun with the concept, it ironically feels really ahead of time in how it portrays it. It was surprisingly accurate too, like there's a scene on how this computer learns to imitate sounds and it really does look like a process of how neural networks learn to imitate the input they receive. It's actually ridiculous how a romcom got more accurate depiction of artificial intelligence than most sci-fi movies.

EX Machina – I don't actually like this movie and find it incredibly boring and cliche for the 90% of its length, but the ending 10% makes it worth watching.

Android (1982) – I like it more than EX Machina but once again I mostly like it for the plot twist at the end than as a whole.

I probably haven't yet seen and read a lot of great movies in the genre so anyone can feel free to add to this list your favourites.

Actually, I'll add one more

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) – although it's not technically about an android character, I feel like this book is like the mother of the whole genre. Definitely worth checking out, even if only because of how significant it is in the pop culture and how often people reference it with some absolute horseshit takes that hints at how they've never actually read it. There's a great audio version on YouTube too.

[cytryndor]

Buckle up people, I’m about to tell you who’s this season’s killer

It’s Donna.

Why, you might ask? Nothing up to this point actually let to her, right? Wrong!

Have you ever seen that musical, The Producers?

The Producers’ plot is really simple. There’s this guy Max Bialystock, who - with help from this other guy, Leopold Bloom - scheme a plan of how to make 2 million dollars in profit from a total and utter disaster of a play. They think of this amazing five stages of a plan, which only the first two will be useful for us.

Step One: Find the worst play ever written.

Step Two: Find the worst director in town.

So, what does it mean for us?

Death Rattle (the play) is this ridiculous murder mystery where the main suspect is a baby. It’s, it’s just ridiculous, right? Step one speaks for itself.

Okay, but what about step two?

We know that there were at least two directors signed for this play: Jerry Blau and Oliver Putnam. Now, I’m not a critic, but I do have a feeling like both of them can be seen as a disasters just waiting to happen. We’re talking about people who are either a) living in the theater cause they’re broke and too proud to go back home, b) director of Splash! The Musical (2005). Like I said, not a critic, but doesn’t seem like a money making machine for me.

Okay, but what about it? It might as well be a coincidence that it fits, right? Wrong.

There are two real life people cameos in this season - opposed to last two ones, where we got just one per each. This time, we got this silly little guy, (who’s extremely talented and funny) Matthew Broderick, and this other silly guy (who’s more famous and more accomplished than any other star cameo in the series) Mel Brooks. What do they have to do with it, you might ask?

Well, it’s time to skip to the year of our lord 2001, and the Broadway premiere of The Producers, whom were written by silly guy number two, Mel Brooks. It had an amazing cast, everyone was so talented, and later nominated for Tony’s. One of which, was this silly guy number one, Matthew Broderick, for the role of Leo Bloom. Unfortunately, he lost in his category to his co-star, our own Teddy Dimas, Nathan Lane, who’s suspiciously absent from this season (sure, he was having some other, Broadway related play gig, but hey).

And you might say, okay, they got Broderick, and what? Well, let me tell you: not every show got a chance of Mel Brooks’ cameo. I mean, come on, Broderick has an incredible filmography and stage career, why The Producers out of all of them? Why Mel Brooks?

Okay, so you might ask now, if you’re still not convinced: what was her motive? What, was it money? That doesn’t make sense! And you’d be right. I think, that her motive was something far more important to her: Cliff, her son.

Up until last Tuesday I was convinced she wanted Death Rattle to fail. I mean, that was meant to be Cliff’s debut, and if it would turned out to be a hit, he would most probably leave her - or so she thought he would, so she poisoned the cookies, and left them for show’s biggest name, knowing Ben wouldn’t resist to try them.

But now I know, or at least suspect, that that’s not the case, thanks to one scene from this week’s episode.

While in the bathroom, Donna did said to Loretta, that a mother would do everything to protect her child; now, we were meant to be focused on Loretta and her struggle, but what if there’s more to that scene? What if she wanted her son to succeed, and the show to be a hit, but sensed that Ben Glenroy was a threat to not even her, but her baby, and his Broadway debut?

This week’s episode was about mother who was able to confess to a crime she didn’t commit, just so she could protect her baby. I think that this seasons murderer is a mother, who committed said crime, just so she could protect her baby.

[possibility-left]

Writer's Interview Meme

I got a tag from @copperplatebeech, thanks much! This is the writer's interview meme.

How many works do you have on ao3?

148 works in a large variety of fandoms. I also have an enormous volume of work I never posted to AO3, mostly short pieces, which live in my old fic journal on Dreamwidth.

What’s your total word count?

319,626 words! So that's about 2k words per fic which feels accurate. Obviously I have longer and shorter pieces.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My top fic is actually something I wrote in 2017 (it's totally great and cool to comment and kudos older stories!). It's a soulmate trope rewrite of Disney's Tangled called wide open to the sun and I still regularly get kudos on it. I think it was probably recced somewhere because the exchange I wrote it for was pretty small.

Then it's diamond heart, which is an Adventure Zone Magnus/Taako get-together fic, followed by this love left a permanent mark, a short Star Trek: TNG piece about Data asking Geordi to help with his android maintenance, which is soft fluff.

4 is build a bridge even where there is no river, which is a Game of Thrones fic from 2014 (some ancient show speculation) that's a Daenerys/Arya get-together fic. #5 is blinders, which is an ATLA Toph/Zuko post-series romcom.

Kind of funny that they're all different fandoms and pairing types, but I guess I'm most successful with my get-together fics -- that seems to be the theme.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

There was a point a few years ago where I stopped responding because I was stressed out but I eventually got back into the habit, and if someone comments on something old and I realize I never responded to someone else on that fic, I usually respond back, even to a very old comment. Why not? I always feel like it's nice to say thank you.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

though love be a day, Steven Universe, Pearl/Rose. The story of Pearl and Rose's last date before Steven's birth. Pretty sure I made myself cry reading it.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think mostly I write happy endings. It might just be recency bias but maybe the happiest one is the exponent of breath, Good Omens, A/C, in which there is a lot of fluff, a proposal, and a wedding. I had a lot of fun with that.

Do you write crossovers?

Recently I haven't, but I definitely have in the past and I wouldn't say no in the future if I had a good idea. I really like fusions where you put the characters from one fandom into another fandom's world.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I got some anon hate on a fic I wrote for an exchange; the story wasn't quite received like I'd expected and people thought I'd tripped a DNW, so. Fair. I ended up doing pre-reveals edits to address the issue (I know, this is bad form) and it remains in the Anonymous collection to this day lol. No further questions.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Very rarely -- I hardly ever have ideas for smut, although I do read it and enjoy it. It's almost always f/f (write what you know) and soft and romantic.

I am plotting an Ineffable Wives smutfic right now but it's still very early in the plotting stages and may never come to fruition. I hope it does -- I'd like to write more.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've been putting my fanwork on the internet since 2001, it would be a shock if it hadn't been stolen at some point, but I'm not aware of it ever happening.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It's been a very long time. I wrote a bunch of stuff with my ex-wife that is probably all off the Internet now, and my BFF and I used to write together a ton when we lived together, but it's been a long time since she and I have shared fandoms and worked on something together. I've always done a round robin/roleplay type of thing where you pass bits of writing around to each other and play off each other. I do think it would be fun to write something with someone else again though, now that Google Docs makes that a lot simpler.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

All-time? I really can't say. Before Good Omens I liked shipping little bits of everything, especially f/f rarepairs, but I've gone through a lot of cycles. Some old favorites are Cardcaptor Sakura - Eriol/Sakura, Avatar: The Last Airbender - Toph/Zuko, Steven Universe - Garnet/Pearl. Right now tops is Aziraphale/Crowley of course.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

In like March, I started writing a fic where both Crowley and Aziraphale were turfed out of their homes at the beginning of S2 but I couldn't quite figure out where I was going to go with it -- I just wanted them to both be in this uncertain place when Gabriel showed up and both aware of the precarity of their positions. But the rest of the plot has failed to come to me, so idk if I'll finish it. If that inspires someone else, feel free to run with it.

What are your writing strengths?

I hope it's character voices; if I can't hear the dialogue in my head I know it's not right. I also try to write good descriptions and entwine feelings with said description.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I read copper's answer to this and had to laugh in sympathy because I'm currently untangling the ridiculously long sentences in my WIP and wondering why it is I've never found an em-dash I didn't like. I also overuse semi-colons.

My writing weaknesses also include the fact that I will start writing without having a plan, ending, or plot, just because I thought of a good piece of dialogue.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't know any other languages but honestly I feel like I tend to go along with fandom convention for this -- so in Japanese language fandoms I feel like honorifics are important and I'll use them, but beyond that it's all English for me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I wrote my first fic in 2000/2001-ish and it was a Cardcaptor Sakura fic in which Syaoran and Sakura get together after the end of the series as young adults. I emailed a webmaster I admired and they posted it on their Geocities website. Yes I am old!!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm kind of stuck on my one favorite thing right now but I'm also rewatching The Good Place and I feel like it would be fun to write for. Sitcoms are really hard imo, I have written Community and Brooklyn 99 and it's really hard to get the humor balance right, but when you do, it pays off great.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

I'm pretty sure this is recency bias as well but recently I got a comment on wake with thirst, which is a Good Omens Michael gen fic that retells bits of the Good Omens story from Michael's POV, and when I reread the fic, I found myself kind of mad that no one else has read it, because I do honestly love it. I feel like I did some clever stuff there in the bits between the canon knowledge we have of Michael. I had fun getting into their weird POV, and also torturing them a bit. But also it's gen-fic about an angel almost no one likes so I get why it hasn't gotten a lot of attention. The Michael and Shax section is probably my favorite.

Tagging!! Obviously please feel free to take this if you see it, but I will tag @carry-the-sky, @ngkiscool, @bl0ndwave, @may--hawk, and @curiouspupsicle just as a random selection of folks!

[got-ticket-to-ride]

I want to ask you this cause it seems like you’re the lyric person here in the fandom. I was listening to Paul’s ‘driving rain’ album and I just wanted your opinion on it Mclennon wise. Lonely road I’m sure is a definite Mclennon song with lyrics like

“tried to get over you

I tried to find

something new

But all I could ever do

was fill my time

With thoughts of you

I tried to go

somewhere old

To search for my pot of gold”

aka that dream that John and Paul both shared when they were younger about them finding gold in the dirt or something. But what I want to really know is about ‘riding into Jaipur’. It just feels Mclennon to me? And I did some research and found out that Paul recorded ‘lonely road’ and ‘riding into Jaipur’ On the same day…. Thoughts ? ( sorry I hope this all came out clear English is not my first language)

Hey Anon,

thank you for your message! I am also a Mclennon-newbie and in no way an expert (having only read 3 books so far because of laziness lol). I hope I will make sense with this. Feel free to correct me or add any additions @/everyone.

"Driving Rain" being the album title song, is probably the theme of the album, the song suggests that Paul's mental health has been dwindling. I guess due to Linda's death in 1998 at the same time, George Harrison had been struggling with his health around the same time this album is being created. So those are probably triggers.

Letting sunshine in the darkest places When I've been going there again

I think John's influence and memories will always be a huge thing in Paul's songwriting.

Here are my thoughts on the songs you mentioned:

Lonely Road Paul himself said that pot of gold was used to just rhyme with old and that it is half imagination/half reality. "He does not need gold anymore". But I think gold is more of a metaphor for "love" in this sense.

"I hear your music and it's driving me wild Familiar rhythms in a different style I hear your music and it's driving me wild again"

"Paul went into his past". Especially this latter part sounds like something he is saying to John. I guess even listening to new music makes him think of John. It was their thing to listen to LPs, so that's just intensely sad.

Riding to Jaipur According to Paul this song was not written in India but during his vacation with Linda in Maldives. (Though Paul had visited Jaipur in 2001).

Weirdly enough, Jaipur is called the Paris of India. Connecting these two places of significance to the Beatles. This might actually be a Beatles dedicated song.

The guitar he used sounds like a sitar and that's George's thing and then Jaipur being the Paris of India would connect it to John.

[cloudmonarch43]

[ID in alt text, repeated below the cut]

My to-watch list is pretty short now and it's not especially satisfying to write about movies while trying not to say too much about what happens in them, plus I barely like Instagram anymore (where these posts are focused), so it'll probably at least be a while before there's another post like this. But never you think that I don't want to talk about movies!! (Oops, I never noticed I wrote the wrong year for Alien. It's right in the alt text because I typed it all first and then copied it down!)

Image 1:

Saw (2004) is a very silly movie that manages to stay enjoyable the whole way through. Aside from a few good bits, I didn't like Saw II (2005). There were too many characters, underdeveloped, so that even in context it just felt cruel to kill them off. I like engaging with the mechanisms of the games, and yeah the point of the games is violence, but the second movie felt like it didn't care about the game part. It made some good moves as a sequel, but the first one was a lot more fun.

Rather than telling me a story, Dirty Dancing (1987) felt like it was telling me about a story. I liked watching the dancing, and I liked the story that was being summarized, so I liked the movie, but it was strange how much of it just felt like information. Even though the plot was a bit convenient, the great variety of relationships made it feel like a genuine world.

The first time I watched I Saw the TV Glow (2024), I didn't know what I was in for; I kind of stumbled home in a daze of delight and sadness. Movies are such a capacious medium and I love it when that potential is actually used. It also feels good to watch something where the queer interpretation is not just a side effect yet it's still abstract and metaphorical.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021) is a super effective movie about watching other people's videos. In reviews I saw, I thought people credited it with a lot that wasn't actually there—only a place was set, which the viewer automatically filled. It didn't resonate with me as much, but I think it's cool to be put through the same sort of process as the characters.

[pencil sketch for Dirty Dancing of Johnny and Baby dancing]

Image 2:

Pretty much everything I wrote in my journal about The Sixth Sense (1999) is using it as a comparison to clarify other things, so I don't know what to say about it on its own. I enjoyed watching it.

After that I rewatched some stuff.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) is great. It really lets you sink in, and there's a lot to sink into, both visually and conceptually.

Blade Runner (1982) seemed more self-contained and a lot easier to follow this time through. I liked it overall but it's so bleak. I guess it's supposed to make me think about what it means to be human but "either you're a cop or a little guy" is the undisputed thesis statement I heard.

The Thing (1982) remains one of my top favorite movies (which is a list I haven't written, but "I Saw the TV Glow" is on it too). I hadn't even remembered a solid half of the great special effects moments because there's just so many.

Alien (1979) didn't work out as well. I still think it's a good movie, but it turns out a lot of what I liked about it was the suspense that doesn't hold up when I know what's going to happen. I know people love to analyze this movie but it's just not catching me that way.

Challengers (2024) is all about three random people I don't have any reason to care about... plus I don't care about tennis. It's not really my kind of movie. That said, it's just about as satisfying as it could possibly be.

[pencil sketch for 2001: A Space Odyssey of an EVA pod]

Image 3:

Pulse (2001) is really sad. What if the loneliness was never ending! It's a high quality, coherent representation, and then it just exists and there's nothing you can do about it. (Also it definitely should have been called Circuit.)

I watched Happy Death Day (2017) because I love time loops a lot. It didn't give me more than that, but it was easy enough to sit through. I think it could've pushed its concepts further but at least it didn't fall apart.

Of course then I had to rewatch Groundhog Day (1993), which I'd mostly forgotten, and I was delighted to discover that this movie rocks. It's efficient, covering a lot of ground without feeling distant or dense, and it really felt convincing.

Nightcrawler (2014) is brutal, unforgiving, and a great movie. Lou isn't a defeatable villain; he's a concentration. This movie refuses to lie, and that feels good even though the things it's saying don't.

[pencil sketch for Pulse of Ryosuke kneeling next to Harue, who is hugging herself]

[msmargaretmurry]

good mooooorning the capitals are inexplicably in a wild card spot!! sending in j, u, & y for the ask meme hehe

good morning my friend!! they sure are!! that's the power of love baby!!!!! 💕💖✨🙏🦅

j. What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

ohhhh i SURE have. futurefic is my favorite thing. just, everything about it — the mass of feelings that your characters thought they left in the past rearing up again! getting to slowly unravel whatever backstory you've concocted for your readers! all the complicated feelings that come with having grown up and built a life with imperfect pieces even when it was the best you could do at the time! also i love futurefic because it is almost always also second chance romance and i love second chances so much.

u. Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet.

yes! so many!! i unfortunately only ever end up writing like 1/20th of the pairings i'm into because i am a SLOW writer but, i would love to get my grubby little fingers into whatever is going on in vancouver — probably elias/brock or elias/quinn. i feel like i would like to try my hand one day at connor/leon but i need to be gripped by the EXACT right scenario u know? i don't know if writing prompt fills on tumblr dot com counts as trying it but if it doesn't then i am absolutely adding eldest son disaster pairing matthew/quinn to this list. also i don't know if i want ME to write this but i do want a nice long tender unexpected feelings leon/bedsy fic to exist in the world because sometimes we all need a little problematic age gap in our lives. i feel like i have more but i am totally blanking. oh — gibby/trevor. i do want john to destroy that twink, preferably while he's deep in his jamie feelings. i want it to be MESSY.

y. What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?  

this is pretty complicated tbh! like, i was NOT in a good headspace with haw when i posted it (i def should have done another editing pass but i was like fuck it i'm done lmao) but other people's love for it really and truly helped me get out of that headspace and remember why i loved the story and characters so much! so the popularity of the fic was a really lovely thing for me there. but also there's like, i wrote a band of brothers fic a couple years ago that's obviously never going to be super popular because it's for a tv show from 2001 but also i think that it's the best written thing on my ao3 page. by far the fic i'm the MOST satisfied with even though it only got a moderate amount of love due to the smaller fandom! then in the middle there's something like tnno, which a lot of people love but i was satisfied with it regardless because the two pals whose feelings about it mattered most to me also loved it. so i think this equation changes depending on my personal relationship to each fic!

[pyreofsunflowers]

I legit don't understand why Alutegra is the fanon-canon ship in Hellsing. i don't get it for the life of me. Aluseras is a superior pairing in like every regard. -> before I go on this rant. I HAVE NOT READ THE HELLSING MANGA. I also really dislike the writing in a lot of Hellsing and take problems w/ a lot of elements in the plot. I probably have a different reading of the story than you. I might be missing something. Don't take this THAT seriously.

I guess I could see it in Ultimate purely because Alucard is really rude to Seras for no reason (which in my opinion is out of character and is just written in to make him more "edgy" and a lot of his mean-ness seems to be an attempt at humor but I digress) but like - that's the only reason? He and Integra have no screen time alone and Integra is hardly a character in Ultimate. There's also pip? But c'mon no one actually ships pip and seras or saw that as actual love right. Lets be honest here. At most they fucked. But personally I think Seras would do better than a guy who literally just harasses her.

But if were talking about 2001 - which has vastly superior writing and characters, even if it isn't perfect - Alucard and Seras obviously have affection for eachother and FUCKING KISS IN THE FIRST SCENE OF THEM TOGETHER. Seras feels safe around him, he's always looking out for her, there flirting like every time there together. Even when she sees him at his most monstrous she still respects and harbors obvious feelings for him. Oh - and Integra even implies attraction between them by chiding Alucard for his "young girl companion" in reference to Seras. Compare that to the way Integra treats him - she's constantly pissed off w/ him and there relationship is professional at best. She hates his ass! There is no way she's into him!

And I know a lot of people say "oh but Hirano said there like father and daughter!" but he didn't? He said the opposite - that there relationship is complex and involves a lot of dynamics. even though there written with no real relationship in Ultimate and 2001 is p. standrard implied attraction w/o enough time for it to develop) and if anything Alucard and Integra share more of a familial relationship seeing as he watched her grow up and says shit like "you'll always be that little girl to me..." I think that's way more father-daughter than kissing on the mouth and flirting but YOU KNOW that's just me.

anyways yeah. Aluseras sweep.

reblog and comment if you want another post about how much I love Aluseras and want to hear about the version of there story I made up in my head that involves the reincarnation lore from 1992 Dracula

[polarisbibliotheque]

Survivor's Blood (Leon x Reader) - Chapter 1

Survivor's Blood

Pairing: Leon x Reader

Summary: After Raccoon City, Leon became the only Government agent with that kind of expertise. With relentless training, he was now a Special Agent - again, on his first day in the job. He just didn't expect to live Raccoon City all over again... Maybe Leon was fated to always have the worst first-days-at-work ever.

Age Restriction: 18+. It's horror - so expect a LOT of blood, corpses, dismemberments, very graphic descriptions of violence, dubious morals and people doing everything to survive. Nothing we haven't seen on RE, but reader discretion advised.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Ok. Long story short, Leon has PTSD. He'll be trying to deal with that while again living very violent and traumatizing experiences. The reader is also damaged by the whole situation - again, expect PTSD, anxiety attacks, doom and gloom, all that stuff. I'll leave warnings every chapter there is something very explicit and potentially triggering, though.

Author's Notes: RE4 remake is among us! Bet you guys didn't see this coming - I didn't either. I have 50+ pages of this sitting on my pc since before I started this blog. I was writing it in Portuguese just to indulge me, but with all the RE4 thing, I'm quite hyped for it - and it came in a good time, I'm in need of keeping my head distracted. Like Nemesis, I'll try to update this one weekly. The good side, it's already halfway written, so I'll only have to work on translating to post - with Nemesis, I actually have to write it.

This one is between RE2 and RE4 - I wanted to explore the innocent little rookie cop Leon becoming badass goofy special agent Leon, so this is kinda it. Almost like a character study that capcom never does <3

Fret not, I do finish my works in progress ;)

Also very proud of this header as well

Chapter 1

Leon dreamt almost every day with the horrors he had lived in Raccoon City.

To wake up before the sun painted the sky in golden tones, with his hair plastered on his face from the sweat, already grabbing a gun he got in the habit of leaving by his nightstand and aiming it at a random point in the darkness wasn’t a random occurrence anymore.

“Shit…” And he always cursed between a tired sigh, feeling the cold floor under his feet as his elbows rested on his knees, head hanging low.

He could choose the moment that appeared in his dreams, as if he was still there: the cop Leon tried to save and got cut in half right in his hands, the many heads he blew up of innocent people, his very own colleagues who dragged themselves towards him trying to eat him alive, those terrible monsters who followed Leon around as if the was the only living being in that hell…

Leon had enough memories for a whole lifetime. And, most probably, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder also enough for a lifetime.

It was to be expected that the government would find him for intense interrogation sessions and soon decided to turn him into one of its Special Agents – precisely those who do the job that no one else could. And all of that because no one had the experience he had; the Raccoon City experience.

Who would’ve known that from a rookie cop on his first day at the job, Leon would become a Special Agent of the Government.

Even though he had that experience, and it made Leon become a Special Agent, now he was just a rookie again. He had been in some field activities – simple stuff, but, in his dictionary, almost nothing compared to surviving the virus outbreak at the RPD. So, for all effects and purposes, he was still a rookie.

And he never imagined what kind of mission would be his first as a Special Agent. Leon was probably doomed by fate to have the worst first days at work ever.

**

New Setosa, April 29th, 2001 – 16h43

“The whole city is a mess, Chief Nakai. We managed to rescue a few people, but, truth is, everyone is scattered around and we don’t know what to do.” A police officer reported to the police Chief of New Setosa, the city that turned into hell in a few hours. “We don’t know if there are any more survivors or where they are.”

Chief Nakai kept his eyebrows together, evidently worried. Screams of mayhem could be heard all over the town outside the department, and the officers in New Setosa had been called to help in that mess they found themselves in. They said it was a virus, something that could become an epidemic, and it spread faster than a fever at a kindergarten.

“What about Washington? You spoke to them, right? Are them sending more people? Help? Rescue…?” The police officer himself was desperate. In all his years in duty, he had never been through something like that.

“The Government promised to send a team to help us, with a specialist in this kind of situation.” Nakai sighed, finally leaving his room with the officer – only to find a bunch of desolate people needing first aid and food, terrorized with what could be outside.

“How can someone be a specialist in this?!” The police officer was already far from trying to control himself. “I’ve never heard of anything like this shit! I don’t even know what those… Things out there are!”

“In Raccoon City, around two years ago, there was a similar incident. Do you remember…? They blew up the whole city ‘cause apparently a virus spread around and that was the only way to contain the epidemics…?” Nakai tried to remind his subordinate, but the man only denied with his head. They probably found a good way to cover up the story of Racoon City and only a few people remembered what had happened. “Well. Maybe this Special Agent from the Government will be able to help us with this. Maybe he led the extractions in Raccoon City. Maybe he helped the dozen poor bastards who survived to get out of there.”

As if on cue to the words of Chief Nakai, the symphony of approaching helicopters made everyone pay attention to what was happening outside. They approached and distanced right after, making the sound of coordinated steps at the top of the Police Department – the NSPD – be heard. The steps approached in a hurry – and no one knew if they would be friendly or not. One of the internal doors opened with a loud noise, giving way to men in black uniforms and heavy weapons, led by a tall man with gray hair in a military cut.

“Commander Rogers?” Nakai asked as the man immediately approached, offering his hand to start the conversation in the friendlier tone they could at that time. “It doesn’t look like a sufficient number of men to save a whole city.”

“If our suspicions are correct, there may be not that much people to save, Chief Nakai.” The Commander answered with a strong handshake, observing the despair in the eyes of the people in the NSPD. “What’s the situation?”

“There’s a lot more people to save, but we don’t have enough police force. The entire city is chaos outside, and this is the most we were able to do at the moment. We already had too many losses; many good police officers died today.”

Leon observed the entrance hall of the NSPD, in silence. He remembered when he first entered the RPD, years ago, and there was no one. The silence was deadly, and he could only hear the noises of the undead chasing him through the corridors of the police department. That was very similar to Raccoon City…  Too similar.

He hoped with all his heart his PTSD wouldn’t trigger that night. That was the closest he found himself to Raccoon City in years.

“We will try to rescue the greatest number of people we can.” Rogers walked alongside Nakai and the police officer to a nearby meeting room. The Commander signaled Leon to follow him, and he did without a word. As they entered the room, there was a map of New Setosa taped to the wall.

“The issue is that people are spread around the whole city.” Nakai pointed at the map, hopeless. “We tried to gather as much as we could, but those things are at the gates, ready to kill anyone who tries to leave the NSPD. I don’t think people left their homes, and those who did… Well. You saw how it’s like outside. It’s gonna be impossible to gather everyone, we never saw anything like this.”

“We haven’t, but I have a Special Agent who has already gone through something similar.” Rogers confirmed with his head, making Nakai and the officer look at him with hope blooming in their chests. They waited for someone strong and unrelenting to walk in, a war machine, almost like Rambo or the Terminator. “Leon Kennedy.”

As the Commander pointed at Leon, their glances were a little… Disappointed. Leon looked like everything but a war machine like they expected: not that strong, not that imposing, maybe a little too skinny, albeit fit. He looked too young, too inexperienced, too cute for… That.

“No offense, Commander…” The police officer had to say something. After more than ten years working on the streets, he only saw rookies with that face. “But he doesn’t look like the type of person who would know what to do in this situation. We had cops with fifteen years of experience and training dying like cattle today.”

“I told you, Commander…” Leon closed his eyes and took a deep sigh, not in the mood to at least try to smile. He was certain no one would respect him, precisely for looking too young, maybe even inexperienced. And, honestly, that was his first day as a Special Agent, in what could be a copy of Raccoon City. What if he had a panic attack? No one would ever respect him again.

“Kennedy is one of the few survivors of the disaster in Raccoon City.” Rogers words were harsh, ignoring completely how desolated Leon was by his side. “I never dealt with those things, nor anyone else in my team, and even lesser you. Leon, on the other hand, killed dozens of those creatures, survived the massacre, avoided worse consequences and helped other survivors to get out of there alive. Everything new we will see today, won’t be any news for him. If there’s a person here who may know the best strategies for surviving and saving people, this person is him.”

“You survived Raccoon City?” Nakai had his eyebrows furrowed. “Again, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look too young, Mr. Kennedy.”

“It was my first day at work.” Now Leon had a not so happy smile on his lips. “I have a completely different definition of ‘hellish first day in the job’.”

There was something of strange in his eyes; something different. Leon could look too young and even naïve, but something changed when they looked into his eyes. They had something of tired, too harsh and too merciless for someone so young. Those eyes carried something impossible to erase from the mind – as if they would never forget the blood and the death. They expected eyes filled with kindness and innocence, but all they got was cold and emptiness.

“So… Mr. Kennedy.” The police officer looked a little ashamed of his own antics, pointing at the map once again. “What do you think? How was it with you guys? Did you manage to rescue someone?”

“Well… We were able to find a few people. They managed to protect themselves somewhere strategic and had guns for protection.” Leon sighed, taking a look at the city map. “An emergency announcement led everyone to the RPD, but the virus also got there, and it was a massacre. They couldn’t rescue the people fast enough, no one was there for us.”

Leon fell silent for a while, still observing the map. Nakai and the police officer exchanged wary looks while Rogers remained in silence. No one was there, Leon remembered. He and Claire found each other for a whim of fate and had to make their own way between hungry creatures who literally wanted to eat them alive. In the end, the city was destroyed with a bomb. There was nothing left. If Leon and Claire hadn’t insisted so much in their survival, they would’ve had died. The same thing with Jill and Carlos, who now had to battle their own demons because of all that and almost didn’t manage to leave the city on time. They were one of the few who were lucky, very lucky.

“Leon…?” And he was brought back by the Commander’s voice. Leon shook his head slightly and pointed at the map again.

“I don’t think that many people who stayed at home survived. Unfortunately, that’s what happened in Raccoon… We can try to gather some people in big places: schools, hospitals, supermarkets; and then we rescue them little by little with police cars.”

“Most streets are blocked.” Nakai denied with his head, hands on his waist. “We had too many accidents, the streets are pure chaos. Cars, trucks, motorbikes… You choose. They’re all thrown in the streets, in pieces or in flames.”

“In pieces and in flames too.” The police officer had to point it out.

“That happened in Raccoon as well. We can ask people to gather somewhere nearby, and our team goes in for the rescue. We'll call the base and ask for enough helicopters to take everyone away from here.” Leon suggested right after, looking at Rogers for approval.

“And how are we going to gather everyone in one single place?” The Commander still thought about it, albeit knowing it was the best shot they had. “It’s not like we can go around screaming a PSA.”

“Radio and television. When things like this happen, people try to communicate and keep waiting for communication.” Leon nodded as he remembered what happened in his own city, years prior. “When they announced the bomb, it was through a special announcement in the TV, I remember Carlos told me. He woke up and it was basically an audio telling everyone who survived to leave the city ‘cause a missile was programed to blow it up. We can try at least through the radio.”

“Hmmm… Grace is here in the NSPD with her assistant, Chief.” The officer was starting to see the first glimmer of hope amidst that hell. “If there’s still someone alive in the studio, she might be able to record the announcement here and we can start an emergency broadcast in Channel 8.”

“Grace is the weather girl; she was in the middle of a transmission when one of those things almost ate her and the whole team.” The Chief explained, shaking his head right after. “They lost two assistants, but the cameraman was able to flee with his camera untouched. Grace appeared running after him completely desperate, still holding the microphone.”

“It might work. If we can guarantee there’s someone at the studio, it’s possible gather people in… The hospital, maybe?” Leon observed the map, but soon received a frantic negative answer both from the police officer and Nakai.

“That was the starting point of all this disgrace.” The Chief ran his hand over his forehead. “We’re avoiding it like the plague. I’m sure no one survived in there.”

“Ok. Let’s talk to this Grace and see if we can get some communication at the broadcast station.” Rogers fumbled with the rifle in his hands, apparently having no worries with Leon carrying just one handgun, dearly named Matilda.

Rogers didn’t mind Leon’s weirdness. The kid had survived hell. In his point of view, he could be as weird as he wanted to.

“If we can’t contact anyone there…” With that, Rogers glanced at his Special Agent. Once more, Leon’s steel blue eyes carried that quite atypical coldness.

“I’ll go there, and I’ll find someone. If there isn’t anyone, you can just guide me, and I’ll make it work.” Leon had a small smile in his lips, remembering the first end of the world he had gone through. “I already had to learn a couple things the hard way. Making a TV broadcast work mustn’t be that hard.”

“Great. Let’s redirect the survivors to the school, any objections?” Rogers finally decided and got only negative answers from both Nakai and the police officer.

He wouldn’t make it obvious, but he was proud of Leon – for an ex-rookie cop, he was behaving quite well as a Special Agent.

**

“Grace?” In the packed entrance hall of the police department, filled with crying and mayhem, the voice of the police Chief made a woman with dark hair and shiny green eyes turn around to him, startled. “We need your help.”

“You?!” That’s what she spat back at him as an answer, completely baffled. The red suit jacket and skirt were dirty and misaligned, the white shirt stained with blood. “We are the ones who need help! Are you doin’ somethin’ to take us out of here or just chattin’ and drinkin’ tea?!”

“Charming.” Leon murmured to Rogers, already internally sighing upon realizing they really needed her help and couldn’t just ask someone else for it. They didn’t need someone with a superstar complex at that moment. The Commander just answered with a small, almost inaudible, laugh.

“We need you to make an emergency broadcast to the city. Where’s your assistant? What is his name?”

“His name is assistant.” Grace huffed, crossing her arms and already looking impatient. “What emergency broadcast? You guys want me to go to the studio for that? I am not leavin’ here.”

“Grace, please… Be reasonable.” Nakai gently touched her arm, approaching the woman. The police Chief lowered his voice. “We want all the survivors to gather in one single place. A TV broadcast helped some people to survive in Raccoon City, it might help here too. We need you to call the studio and see if there’s someone alive in there to broadcast while you give the announcement and the assistant records it.”

“In Raccoon City…? How do you know that?” The woman now looked confused and less combative. She also lowered her voice and seemed a little more prone to help.

“I was there.” Leon almost shrugged, being noticed for the first time. “If there’s no one in the studio, I’ll go there, and you tell me how to broadcast. The goal here is to gather the most people we can in just one place so we can get you all out of the city.”

Grace remained silent for a few seconds, observing Leon. She slowly ran her eyes through each of them, confirming with her head as she thought about it, finally uncrossing her arms.

“It might work…” She murmured back. “If there’s someone alive in the station, I know who’s gonna be. Let’s hope they listen the phone ringin’.”

The group headed back to the meeting room, closing the door and putting the phone in speakers. Grace dialed as fast as she could, watching her cameraman lost outside the room and signaling him to enter and remain silent. Patience wasn’t her virtue.

The phone barely rang once until a silent voice picked it up on the other side.

“Hello…?” It was uncertain, probably hiding. They didn’t let the phone ring so it wouldn’t draw unwanted attention.

“Hello? Y/n?!” Grace rested both her hands on the table, almost covering the phone with her body. The voice on the other side sighed in delight and had to contain itself not to scream.

“Gracie?! You’re alive?!” You took a deep breath while the woman affirmed enthusiastically, your heart beating fast and tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Y/n, oh my, y/n…!” Grace murmured, sighing right after, trying to hold back her tears. “I knew that you would be alive…!”

“It was tough, Grace. Almost died. Where are you?”

“On the NSPD! That’s exactly why I’m callin’! They are here with…”

“Wait…! Stop talking…!” You suddenly fell silent and everyone in the meeting room heard insistent knocks on a door, alongside horrible undead moans. They exchanged quick looks, not knowing what was going on.

After a few good minutes in silence, the banging finally stopped and the dragged steps couldn’t be heard anymore. You controlled your breath and barely made any noise – they started to ask themselves if you still were on the other side of the line.

“Hey. I’m at the Director’s room, I barricaded the door but those things still try to enter here until changing their attention to fresh blood.” You finally got back to the call, speaking even lower than before. They had to make the speakers louder on their side.

“Is there anyone else alive in there…?” Grace was even scared to ask. Actually, she didn’t want to, but she knew they would ask you that eventually.

“No. Not that I know of.” You sighed on the other side, following with a humorless laugh. “But, I think this is going to comfort you: the fresh blood is from the Director. I tied him up one of the windows after he died; he bled so much that he immediately grabs the attention of those things who are feasting on him.”

“Hmmm…” And Grace laughed briefly after hearing the news, a little more content than she should’ve. “It’s a lot more than what that shitty abuser deserved.”

“Well, at least he was useful for something, right?” You shrugged, understanding Grace’s anger. Anyone would understand it.

“Y/n, my dear, I need you to do me a favor. That’s why I called.”

“When do you call me not to ask for a favor?” You tried to joke for a while, making Grace let out a genuine laugh. “Even in the apocalypse you call me for favors. What if I had died?”

“I knew you hadn’t died. Out of every person in that studio, you’re the only one who had a chance; I’m just alive now ‘cause I wasn’t there when all hell broke loose.” Grace suddenly turned serious, looking a lot more professional than before. “Chief Nakai and Commander Rogers of the Special Forces want me to record an emergency broadcast so all survivors will go to the school, and they can be escorted to the NSPD and rescued. The idea is to broadcast it on the TV and the radio, so I’m gonna need someone inside the studio to broadcast the signal of our camera to TVs across the town and my audio through the radio.”

“Hmmm, ok. I’ve no idea how to do that nor how I’m gonna get there, but we’ll worry about it when I actually get there.” You mirrored her tone, immediately understanding the seriousness of the situation.

“Excuse me, y/n?” Leon finally decided to take over the call. “Leon Kennedy, Special Agent and Raccoon City survivor. I can help. Do you have any radio in there?”

“Like a walkie talkie?” You asked back and, from the noise, it seemed like you were going around the room. “Dunno. The Director had all kinds of junk in here.”

“He had one of our police radios.” The officer added with a long sigh, receiving suspicious looks. “How do you think he knew exactly when some interesting crime happened and appeared there out of the blue, sometimes even before than us? The man was never worth a dime.”

“Well. At least now he’s worth something.” You considered in a mumble, followed by a rather loud noise and some things being fumbled around. “Locked drawer, the key is probably still with him. I don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of the half-dead people already feeding on the piece of crap at the moment.”

Grace giggled – that was the internal nickname of the Director to anyone who worked in the broadcast station; specially women.

“Hmmm, found it. How can I turn it on?”

“There’s a switch on top of it that shows the frequencies, can you see it?” Leon’s answer was in autopilot, getting a positive response from you after a few seconds. “We can find a frequency…”

“0.5 hertz. No one uses that channel, you won’t be interrupted.” The police Chief added before Leon could finish talking, throwing him a similar radio. Leon adjusted on that very same frequency.

“Great. You just have to press a button on the side to open the channel to talk to me. I’m gonna test it here and you tell me if it works, ok?” He didn’t even have to say much for you to agree. With a few words, you could hear him loud and clear.

“Ok, it works. What about you?”

“Working as well.” Leon smiled. Luckily, you seemed to be a fast learner. “Talk to me as you walk around the studio, and I can help you around those things. I was a cop in Raccoon City.”

“Yeah, I know. Claire and Jill told me about you.” Your answer came with a sigh, not at all happy with the perspective of getting out of the room you had made so secure for yourself. “Gimme a minute to get ready. I’ll call you on the radio, ok?”

“Ok, that works.”

“Y/n.” Before ending the call, Grace called you one more time. “Just… Don’t die, ok? I wanna see you again. I don’t wanna be the only one left from the studio.”

“Don’t worry, Gracie. We need a lot more than half a dozen slow zombies to kill me.” You had a cocky smile in your voice, making her laugh before finally ending the call.

The only problem was that there was a lot more than half a dozen zombies in the studio.

**

To be continued...