#Talk about things

[speed-metal-punk]

For the "talk about" ask game - 24 and 38!!

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

Its not really something specific that someone said to me, but more of an ongoing saying of things. My best friend/brother/husband/whatever you wanna call it AJ has been my friend for over 10 years now. Longest friendship I've ever had. We thankfully have gotten to a point as friends that he comes to me with anything he needs further input on. He repeatedly has told me that my input means a lot to him and that he trusts me a lot. That means the fucking world to me that someone would trust me enough to come to me with so much and so frequently. I'm not gonna say I'm smart or know much of anything, but its good knowing that someone trusts me like that considering I don't have a lot of people in my life.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Woof, okay, this one is kinda intense. Most of the time I get songs attached to people when its a romantic attachment. But there are the few songs I have for people who I'm not invested in that way with. Y'all Want a Single by Korn is a stupid but fun song that AJ and I used to sing together way back in the day. Daylight Nights by Burning Leather makes me think of Coyote, its what I'd imagine we'd listen to if we ever got a chance to hang out in person. Ever Fallen In Love by Buzzcocks reminds me of a certain someone I'm on not so good terms with right now. The Nightmare Continues by Discharge reminds me of my buddy Adam cause we were singing along together to that song while he was working on the tattoo on my shoulder. There's more but its gonna take a long time to write up and I don't want to get long winded.

Thanks for the asks friend!

[academicelephant]

One of my professors told in her lecture about how she had continued to ask follow-up questions, kinda kept pushing, when the interviewee hadn't given the kind of answer she expected. She let her preconceptions lead her and didn’t listen to the interviewee (which is something you should never do as a researcher). On the lecture she openly admitted this mistake, reflected on the reasons for it and presented ways to avoid doing so. I think it was great that she shared this, because I'm sure many novice researchers are afraid of making mistakes or feel ashamed if they do. In this way, my professor showed that these things happen even to more experienced researchers and that it's not the end of the world. You just have to learn from your mistake and avoid doing it in the future.

[cunning-and-cool]

idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[beebfreeb]

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[denburrito]

I really can't wait to see whether TF2 comic #7 or Silksong gets released first : )

[academicelephant]

It would be important that people would talk about the things they feel, think, and do, and I mean the everyday type of stuff, because I feel like people don’t really share their experiences (in my culture anyway), and that’s probably at least partly the reason why young people often are unsure if what they’re feeling, thinking or doing is normal or not, and might think they’re the only ones with the thing, whatever it is. In a situation like that it's really soothing to hear that you're not the only one and that's why I think adults have a responsibility to talk about things, even if it's just to casually mention something

For example, one of my professors told in a lecture that she had studied the life and work of a female scientist and had begun to feel like she’s close to her in a personal level, like she’d know her despite she had never met this scientist who had died a long time ago. The same thing has happened to me, but I didn't know that others felt the same way until she shared her experience. It wasn’t something I would have been worried about or anything, but regardless, little things like these are important. It might feel like nothing to you, but it can mean a lot to someone else

[faggotisaacfloofs]

the person who helped today when I fell out of my wheelchair actually did a really great job, so I want to share in case other people wonder what to do. [Note: this is not universal, this is merely a suggestion from one person, every wheelchair user's needs are different! I am a person who uses a manual chair usually pushed by someone else who is also disabled.]

Scenario: you see someone in a wheelchair fall out of their chair, and you have the ability to help.

1. Approach and ask "are you okay?"*

2. Next question if they say no, are vague, or open to continuing conversation** is, "is there anything I can do to help?" Or "what can I do?"

If they say no to help, then that's the end, just leave and go do whatever you were doing!

If they ask for help or say they are mildly injured, ask "what would you like me to do?" And wait for an answer before doing anything! If they seem dazed or confused, they might have hit their head or had another medical event*, or they might just be like that due to regular disability. Be patient.

Do not touch the person unless they say to, or they are like, unconcious in the middle of the road, ya know?? Wheelchair users usually have conditions that mean being handled improperly can severely injure us, you could cause much more damage than the fall.

Some things they might need you to do:

Bring their wheelchair closer (mine went about 5 feet away after it dumped me)

engage the brakes of the wheelchair

hold wheelchair steady if it's an unsteady surface (mud, hill, ramp, wet, etc)

offer an arm for them to hold onto to get up (them grabbing you, not you grabbing them) or move another solid item closer for them to use (i.e. a chair) [only do this if you physically have the ability to!]

If the terrain is rough (i.e. a parking lot), they *might* ask you to push their chair to a more stable area once they are back in their chair

nothing

Something else

Do what they ask, NOT what you think would be helpful. If for some reason you have to do something (i.e. you can't stop oncoming traffic and need to get them out) ASAP, tell them what you plan to do

Keep in mind they might also be D/deaf, have a communication disability, be stunned after the fall, have a head injury, not trust other people, etc. Be patient and treat them as a person with autonomy and agency! They might need to just sit on the ground for a few minutes to recover before trying to get back in their chair. They might want everyone to leave them alone. They might ask you to call someone specific. Their chair might have broken and that can be extremely distressing. All of this is like if your legs spontaneously stop working when you're out and about!

A lot of wheelchair users (NOT ALL) have ways to get into their chair on their own once the chair is close enough and brakes engaged (but it's hard from the ground!). Here's what brakes look like on a lot of manual wheelchairs, in case they ask you to lock the brakes. They're levers on each side and pushing the lever pushes a bar against the wheel to hold it still.

ID: A manual wheelchair with the brake levels circled in red and labeled "user brake levers"

*There is also the possibility of course that a person fell out of their chair due to a seizure or other medical event, so that is why it is important to ask if they are okay. If you saw them hit their head, tell them so. If they had a medical event, follow protocol for that, I'm not gonna get into it here (thought I could).

**sometimes a person will be clear after the first question i.e. "I'm all good thanks" clearly means they do not need you to ask another question, you can just leave them alone. Keep walking and don't stare. A lot of the time people will be a bit banged up but be totally fine and able to manage on their own.

TLDR: Ask the wheelchair user if they're okay, then what they need, and then do exactly that, including leaving them alone. Thanks!

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good