#TIMING MATTERS

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C file & her reverse psychology

She's a reflection, a shadow of the past and that was graphically depicted by Storer with the very first image we had of C on the show:

She showed up like that, not like this:

Carmy was blindsided when C showed up unannounced and uninvited.

Syd walked into his life right in front of him and knocked first, they were face-to-face, after calling for the sous position and scheduling an interview.

C was always represented as a mirage.

An unwanted figure in his life, that's why he gave her the wrong number to begin with.

The fact that later she forced herself into his life.

And he ended up giving in and even enjoying it, as I mentioned in this previous post → He let her take the wheel, is beside the point because in this case, the point is his real intention behind that behavior all along because he was compensating - projecting - sublimating and masking with her, as I thoroughly pointed out:

Here

So what was behind all that or underneath, what was he trying to cover with C?

His real feelings → More about that here and here.

The haunting

The haunting feeling Carmy described, is nothing but ruminating thoughts based on guilt, which is rooted in his own omission and irresponsible behavior and the fact that that relationship lacks closure, and that is what is keeping him stuck till he faces the consequences of his actions and turns the page but not just unilaterally as he did here and here, it has to be agreed upon or at the very least briefed. All parties should be in the loop for "the haunting" to end, the unfinished business is what's causing it, and giving it closure is what's gonna end it.

Reverse Psychology

What in this case triggered the ruminating thoughts was not just Carmy's inaction but also Claire's.

In the past C did the chasing now she's no longer doing that and the reactive nature of Carmy is reacting to that change of pattern C initiated. Since he noticed, his haunting began.

Typical reactive nature. If she had kept the chasing pattern they had going on, he would have either apologized and continued going out with her or apologized and ended things, but no "haunting" would have happened. One way or the other he would have "reacted" to her actions but since she halted all efforts he has no way to react, so he is stuck as I explained above.

This will end when they finally have a conversation and he reacts to her words.

As far as I know, that scene has already been shot, so we are cool.

Catalysis

C is a catalyst character as I explained here.

That being said her role can't be fulfilled unless Carmy is ready to realize what she's gonna show him.

Meaning: Claire shows him what he needs to heal because she's a healer, what he needs to change because after her he will be very clear on what not to do. And with her he will also learn to do what needs to be done, to use his words, to open up about what he wants and what he doesn't want, and also who he wants it or not with. She enables all of that in him. But not if he doesn't react.

So right now her role is unfulfilled because they are yet to have that conversation and that will enable Carmy to make a final decision. At that point, the catalysis will be complete and her role will no longer be necessary in the story. I'm not sure how they will go about this, therefore IDK if she will definitely break up with him after that conversation, or the other way around, or even if they will agree to give each other another chance, which is a possibility. What I do know is that when Carmy goes through this catalysis with her, she will no longer be necessary for his redemption arc because after that all those feelings that he keeps in his BOH, will move to his FOH, more details on that metaphor → here. This catalytic process will enable that.

Bonus track: The L Carmy already made a decision about his priorities, which are the restaurant, and the star, in that order. That leaves no room for C, and that decision was confirmed in the last scene where symbolically he was being "signaled" by the L to Loop back → The Loop. If he'd loop back to C, assuming she'd still have him, that is, he couldn't focus on the star, because he has always seen her as a distraction and he has already vowed not to leave Syd alone again:

And regardless of how Syd feels, in his head, he hasn't broken that promise because the one who is haunting him is actually → Sydney.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[hamsternamedmarinette]

Italian microaggressions

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

This theory is just like my fic LAST CLAUSE

And my meta

i have a theory about the bear & carmy’s artistic talent and no one else (that ive seen!) seems to be talking abt this. gotta get it out there so if it happens i can say i predicted it

carmy is going to leave the restaurant industry. we see time and time again that carmy is not happy in the industry, and maybe never has been. he’s traumatized by the fancy restaurant he worked at. he wanted to work at the beef, but only to be with mikey. he took over the beef because he (felt he) owed it to michael — and because he had the skills — not out of some great love of cooking. he only got to his level of skill out of a self-professed “fuck you” to mikey! carmy’s not happy. “this shit’s not fun for me,” he says to richie. make no mistake — he’s really, really good at it. but he’s not happy. the industry brings out the worst version of him, every single time. the stress of the kitchen turns him into the bear from the 1x01 opening, into his mother.

contrast this with syd and richie, tina, even marcus. even under stress, even with everyone yelling at each other, the kitchen brings out the best in them. they’ve improved their skill levels because they feel they owe it to themselves. richie thrives under the pressure of being a concierge, he’s a new man, he wears suits now. tina is a transformed person because she’s begun to believe in herself (and knows others believe in her). marcus (although thwarted by his own hyper-focus sometimes) delights in the craft of being a pâtissier, creates spectacular, thoughtful dishes — he flourishes.

and sydney. sydney, under stress, opening night, is throwing up in the bushes, like we know carmy did in a job that was Bad for him. but it’s not the stress of the job per se that’s getting to syd, but the pressure she’s put on herself to do well enough that her dad will see the bear as she sees it — her very own place in the industry she loves above all else, a place to practice her beloved craft, to take care of people, to pour everything she has into this one thing. it’s not the job making her physically sick, like it did carmy, it’s the pressure of showing how much she loves the job, of her dad thinking she’s doing well enough to deserve to love and devote herself to it as much as she is. and in the kitchen, under pressure, with carmy locked in the fridge, syd doesn’t panic, doesn’t yell and scream — not really. she collaborates with richie, delegates as necessary, steps up — and leads. she shines.

carmy as a chef is doing what he’s good at, performing the skills he’s cultivated. it might be the only thing he feels he’s good at. it’s all he’s ever really known. but it’s not healthy. it’s killing him. it’s ruining his relationships with everyone important to him. he needs to get out.

i predict that sydney and richie will take over the bear. probably with nat’s help behind the scenes. they love it. it gives them purpose. it makes them thrive.

and carmy… will go to visual arts school. (or simply become an artist. do people still do art school these days? if so… like… he could do worse than SAIC)

i don’t think the show has been dropping all these references to carmy’s artistic talent for no reason. the pants he designed (thom browne’s!), the drawings of claire they mention and then flash during his panic attack, the speculative drawing of the bear he gifts michael in 2x06, and the menu drawings that sydney gushes over. the painting he hates that’s hung in the restaurant? could you do a better one, carm?? in the future, will that get replaced with one of yours, carm??? his artistic talent is lingered on too much to not be indicating something about what carmy really loves. a talent he innately has but doesn’t seem to realize the depth of. what he’d spend his time doing absently before he got caught up in the rat race of the restaurant industry. he talks about art like it’s something he’s compelled to do, like it’s something he loses himself in. a flow state.

carmy can flourish too. it’s just that he’s going to need to go somewhere else to do it.

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[unknown-cold]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!

Even if most people are just joking, it bothers me when other people actually think it's all due to a failed relationship when the problem is actually bigger than that. Vi getting to this point isn't because she broke up with Caitlyn. She has bigger, more difficult things going on than just a failed relationship. Adding to that the most painful factor for Vi is when she fights Jinx, which is one of the factors that really affects her. She went from being protective of her sister to "hurting" her sister. (Even though her sister Jinx brought this on herself, but anyway)

"Losing Caitlyn was the last straw, as they say"

Caitlyn was the one who got Vi out of prison, She got her out of the worst place Vi had ever been in. And Caitlyn was the last person Vi could trust and now she's gone.

I mean you can see she wasn't that miserable when she was in prison because she said herself, "The only thing that kept me going, was the thought of getting back to you." Now her sister is gone and Caitlyn is gone, the only two people left in her life. It's only natural that she would come to this point after literally losing everything.

Vi now has no hope no purpose and no one left after all the people she's lost along the way. It's really hard for Vi.

[hinamie]

10 years later

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

[scrupulosity-comics]

sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

please check out my The nefarious anglerfish tribute video i am such a big fan

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmy is a hypocrite

Like most cowards are

But unlike most cowards, he had a point.

Carmy was quick to judge his brother and get out of the family household to "show him".

But he didn't take this into account:

Michael Berzatto is immortal

Carmy expects Syd to be legally obligated to push him and let herself be pushed, but when he's pushed he can't handle it:

Carmy wants to change the menu every day but when Syd wants to make changes, he prefers to go his way:

Granted there is a valid explanation for that I already went over

Here → Yeah, right.

And Syd can easily put an end to it by signing the agreement and exercising her rights as a partner. But she's avoiding it and delaying it and making things worse as time goes by, so it's a 50% / 50% here.

But in terms of Carmy's discourse, it's nothing but hypocrisy, no matter how unconscious his behavior is and what reasons he has to justify it.

Carmy wants Richie to accept his apologies because he loves him but he won't accept Donna's who clearly wants to reconnect with her strange son, while he avoids her:

And the list can go on and on and ooooonnnnnn...

Because he is a HYPOCRITE and as with all hypocrisy, it's rooted in what in essence can be labeled as a "lack of balls".

He's clearly not the kinda guy who avoids conflict, as a matter of fact, he's the opposite because he's → Donna's son and → reactive in nature.

But he's scared shitless of true mature behavior, he's not ready for that, as I explained here. And if we dig deeper, we can clearly see that part of his fear has to do with his mommy issues, which I mentioned here. And of course, also with his many psychological conditions that remain untreated, which I elaborated on in previous posts such as:

Let's put the ship in partnership

Carmy Berzatto and his erotic transfer

Or are being incorrectly treated, because the AA meetings are like trying to put out a wildfire with a glass of water, in his case. He needs a whole team of professionals who develop a personalized healthcare plan for him and follow up regularly with him to help him stick to it. Especially since changing his surroundings is not an option.

So summing up, he's a hypocrite.

BUT

He has a point, which is, that if he stops being a hypocrite, he will have to change his ways, which requires courage, and balls, sure, but most importantly, he will have to face the truth about his feelings for Syd, face the C person and act like a man and go on an apology tour, which is something that requires something he doesn't have yet:

MADURITY

He's a kid trapped in a 30-31 year old body. And that's exactly what happens to abuse/trauma victims. There's this arrested development that mentally freezes them up in the time of their lives when the abuse began. And they can look like very adjusted people for most of us, they can look like accomplished chefs, like wannabes who are really into their artistic hobbies that are actually nothing but escapism, like people who "just want to do what's right", perfectionists even, etc... but in their case, that's nothing but a mask that hides their level of immaturity. They can ONLY HANDLE getting their asses kissed all the time, anything else is something they just can't take. Imagine a toddler: if you go and say (in a baby voice, ofc): "Oh you're soooo cute, I love your drawings! Wow! Did you make this? I love this! OMG! It's soooo cute! Awwww" the kid will be all smiley and over the moon, right? They will love it.

But try telling a 5-year-old:

Don't yell.

Stop.

Drop that.

No, you're not right.

Etc.

They will always find a problem with accepting limits and behaving BECAUSE THEY ARE TODDLERS. They will probably even throw a TANTRUM, even in public sometimes... They won't care how it looks. They are not above making a scene. All parents have to deal with that for a few years, no matter how well-adjusted and healthy their kiddo is. It's normal behavior IN A TODDLER.

Well, adults can be toddlers too (mentally). And that leads to HYPOCRISY. Like in Carmy's case.

Fortunately, maturity levels and development are dynamic. Hardly ever static. So Carmy is not a hopeless case.

I'm confident that S4 will be the season in which he will FINALLY GROW THE FUCK UP.

Because he has already reached his breakthrough.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

I think I said this before here, because Mitocondria and ThoughtfulC are kinda right, and as a therapist of therapists, I have been seeing his ways even before season 3 and kinda warning us all hahaha!

I also saw that it's deeper than that:

And as to the "new fridge scene" I think he definitely picked Syd and was not only sublimating as I explained here:

But also it's an erotic transfer, not just sublimation.

But yeah, definitely, I think we all have a point.

Sublimation and Intellectual Orgasms

During a conversation with @thoughtfulchaos773 about Freud and his theories surrounding sublimation (you can read thoughtfulchaos773’s brilliant post about it here) I found this in a psych review by Richard Bukowski:

In the third form of sublimation, “the rarest and most perfect…the libido evades the fate of repression by being sublimated from the very beginning into curiosity and by becoming attached to the powerful instinct for research as a reinforcement…Sexual repression, which has made the instinct so strong through the addition to it of sublimated libido, is still taken into account by the instinct, in that it avoids any concern with sexual themes.”

The key to sublimation to go in this direction is having a strong enough repression, from either disgust or shame, that the projects of research and understanding replace sexual release. For example, if I research something I don’t understand about a Freudian concept, it can be a setup that requires a payoff, like the stress of dating and then sex. Then when a profound intellectual understanding is achieved it’s like an intellectual orgasm.

This idea of sexual repression being redirected into intellectual revelation reminds me of Carmy’s struggle during season 3. Carmy is suppressing his feelings for Sydney and redirecting these urges towards menu creation and getting that star.

In Apologies 3x09, Carmy tells Sydney he is close to figuring out the plate. After Sydney leaves, Carmy realizes that her recurrent use of polka dots in her wardrobe has made its way into the dish he is working on. Carmy is having intellectual orgasms through dish creation as a result of his sublimation and sexual repression of his feelings for Sydney.

According to Freud, sublimation happens when sexual urges are repressed due to shame or guilt of those urges. Carmy harbors both of these emotions towards his feelings for Syd. Shame because he made himself believe he is not worthy of enjoyment or amusement. Guilt because he is supposed to love Claire. This is why he throws out the dish and then attempts to apologize to Claire, for closure and atonement of his guilt and shame.

[jjskiaraa]

You know what I cannot wait for? The day we have an election and we don’t have to say vote like your life depends on it because it does. This man has seeped into every facet of our lives for almost TEN years. Think about that. With one simple vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz he’s cooked-forever, and we won’t have to deal with that urgency again. We can have real policy debates and make actual progress again, once he is gone for good. So let’s do this thing one last time let’s vote like our lives depend on it and get back a better politic.

[bet-on-me-13]

Bruce owes Danny money. He does Not want to pay up.

So! Danny had to run away from Amity Park when his parents discovered his Powers. But every time he tried to stay in a single place in America, they somehow managed to find him.

Turns out, they were working with the GIW to track him using the GIW's resources and the Fenton's Genius to find him everywhere he ran to. Eventually, Danny figured he had had enough and ran to Europe where the GIW had no Jurisdiction.

After wandering for a while, Danny was found and recruited by the League of Assasins. He was powerful, skilled, and connected to the Lazarus Pits, so they approached him with a job offer.

They would hide him from the Fentons, who had began to search for him in Europe independently, and in return he would work for them as an Assasin.

Considering his situation, Danny agreed.

He began training to be an Assasin, supplementing his Ghost Abilities with the abilities of an Assasin to become even more Stealthy.

While training under the League, Danny met another recruit simply known as Bruce. They trained together for years, even going on a few missions together gathering intel, and using disguises to hid in plain sight.

On one of these missions, Danny lent Bruce some money with the promise to get paid back when they returned to the League. That same night, Bruce left the League of Assasins and never came back.

...

Bruce was sitting in the Batcave going over a case with Tim, Jason was off to the side cleaning his Guns, and Dick and Cass were holding an acrobatics competition in their Obstacle Course, with Damien, Steph, and Duke cheering them on.

Suddenly an Eldritch Emerald Light sprang to life in the center of the Batcave, and everybody dropped what they were doing and sprang to action.

Slowly, a glowing green figure emerged from the Light. He appeared Eldritch in Nature, as if he existed in multiple layers of reality at once and looking at him gave them minor headaches. Then, the figure spoke up.

"BRUCE. ITS BEEN 15 YEARS. YOU STILL OWE ME 16 DOLLARS."

Recognizing Danny, Bruce took a moment to compose himself before responding.

"Fuck Off."

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3