#THIS IS SUCH A GOOD FUCKING THEORY

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Do I Have Any Advice for You

Yes. Life is long if you're lucky and full of struggles. There are many downsides that accompany personhood, but also much joy. We are here to love and be loved, to know and be known, and to pay attention. The gift of our attention is unprecedented in the history of Earth life, and a power to wield with care and attention.

But that is not my advice. My advice is to--if it is at all possible--shed your human skin entirely and become a corporation. Ideally, become a coffee company that donates all its profit to charity. But any kind of corporation will do in a pinch.

According to the U.S. Supreme Court, as a corporation you will still be a person, but you will no longer be confined to the decaying bacterial colony known as your body. You will ascend to Corporate Personhood, the highest form of Personhood available to late stage capitalist societies, where you enjoy all the benefits of person status with none of the biological trials and tribulations.

[medicalunprofessional]

ohhh hell yes

[aardvaark]

the leverage team would have had a games night… once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

um uh uh um. so. did anyone else used to follow Nate Stevenson's D&D campaign drawings back in the day or-

[indigovigilance]

A Nightingale Sang in 1941

This is my inaugural meta (yay!) Eventually I will learn how to add gifs and whatnot to make this more interesting but today, I give you a wall of text.

I need to give credit where credit is due to three existing metas that I’m drawing upon heavily here:

A speculative continuation of the 1941 story, which includes an almost-kiss while “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays on the gramophone,

A behavioral analysis of Aziraphale during the S2E6 finale (will find ref later if possible)

A meta-analysis of the way in which “coffee” is used as a symbolic equivalent for liberty and freedom of choice, a running theme of this show (will find ref later if possible)

I’m going to expand upon meta #2 and #3 and explain why I think there is are very compelling reasons to believe that #1 will be canonized.

At the end of S1E6, an instrumental version of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays diegetically, but the lyrical version plays non-diegetically over the credits (we hear it but the protagonists don’t). So we the audience could plausibly say “that’s their song,” but as of the close of S1, we have no reason to believe that they know that it’s their song. Even Aziraphale’s S1E3 (1967) suggestion that they dine at the Ritz could be a reference that only he gets, or just a fancy restaurant suggestion.

So when I was watching S2E6 and Crowley said “no nightingales,” I was jarred. What does that even mean? We know it has something to do with dining at the Ritz, but what does it mean to them? The reference only works if they know it’s their song. But we’ve only ever seen them hear it together after the averted apocalypse; if this is the direct reference that Crowley is making, it leaves our 1967 reference contextless and twisting in the wind.

If we assume that there was a romantic story beat in 1941, wherein “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” (which, incidentally, was written in 1939 and saw the height of its popularity at the end of 1940, so timeline-wise it’s spot-on) became their song, then a lot of events get renewed interpretations through this lens, in a way that makes this story much more cohesive and the “no nightingales” comment even more soul-shattering than it already was.

Let’s presume that immediately after this became their song and just as they were discovering their romantic potential, they were forced back into hiding. Forever after, references to the song serve as a macro for “I’d like to pick up where we left off that night.”

The 1967 suggestion of “dining at the Ritz” now becomes a directly romantic suggestion. It also gives better context for “you go too fast for me.”

Actually going to the Ritz in 2019 is not simply a celebration or even a callback to 1967, it’s a callback to their almost-romance of 1941.

When Crowley says “no nightingales” in 2023, this isn’t to say “we’re not going to eat together at the Ritz anymore.” It’s saying that the romance that began that night, the precious, fragile romance, is over.

I’ll give you a moment to dry your eyes before we move on to metas #2 and #3.

In light that this is what has been going on - they know they want a romantic relationship but have gotten so used to hiding and denying it that they are more comfortable keeping the status quo static and quo-y then trying to achieve their ideal - a lot of S2 behavior can get a fresh view.

Crowley’s reaction to Nina isn’t a realization that he’s in love - he knew that already. You can only ask someone to run away with you so many times before you are forced to admit some things to yourself. No, he’s realizing that trying to hide it (which was justified by survival), hasn’t been working, but despite failing at being stealth nothing bad has happened. He’s realizing that it may finally be safe to show it.

Crowley’s confession, then, is not a revelation. It’s making the subtext text. He’s not telling Aziraphale anything he didn’t already know. He’s saying it now because he thinks he’s safe to do so. Pin in that.

Lots of people have lots of theories about Aziraphale’s motivations in the S2 finale, which can more or less be divided into 4 camps: the genuinely held belief, the coffee theory, the lie theory, and the mutual trick theory (some version of the body-switching at the end of S1). Let me start by saying that I love all the fans and all their theories and I find their analyses to be insightful. The genuinely held belief theory, while I believe it to be erroneous, has been incredibly conducive to so many wonderful conversations and I love being in a community that has those conversations. But I’m going to explain why I think the lie theory finds the most support in canon.

Re-watch the finale (when you feel like you can) from 35:18 to 36:19 and then from 40:45 to the end, paying very close attention to Aziraphale’s words and his eyes. Michael Sheen is telling us a LOT with his eyes, and in the back half of the finale scene, with pacing.

For 60 seconds of footage, this setup is doing a lot of work. If Neil Gaiman wasn’t doing enough to beat us over the head with how evil the Metatron is, that glare at Crowley at the end with the non-diegetic ominous horns should convey the message. But again, focusing on Aziraphale. He initially refuses to talk to the Metatron; he’s made his position quite clear. There is no hint of regret or wavering; this is not someone who’s aching to return to the fold. The Metatron ignores his refusal and functionally forces him to accept a “cup of coffee.” The coffee isn’t spiked, but it is a metaphor. It is symbolic of choice. The Metatron is going to force Aziraphale to make a choice. Meta #3 does a great job of exploring the idea that a choice between anything and death is never really a choice. Hang onto that thought.

Notice I had you start up again 3 seconds before “The Conversation.” That’s because it’s important to note where the Metatron is right now. He is across the street, staring straight in through those giant windows to where our protagonists are about to have The Conversation. He is watching.

When Aziraphale returns, Crowley begins his “let me talk” riff. Aziraphale ought to be interested in what Crowley has to say, since the preamble is pretty compelling. You’ll notice that Aziraphale quickly turns to the window and back, through which he (but not we) can see the Metatron standing there, watching them. Aziraphale is then doing his best to get Crowley to STFU without raising the suspicion of the Metatron, eventually having to cut him off.

Because unfortunately, Crowley’s entire impetus for speaking up now is that it’s safe to do so. Only Aziraphale knows that they are in very real danger (or at least, Crowley is, but I’ll come back to that).

You might take something from the fact that he’s shaking his head while talking about “incredibly good news,” and seems to self-censor his criticism of Metatron (or more specifically, he takes ownership of any criticism of the Metatron, censoring out Crowley’s role in that, with the emphasis on I in “I might have misjudged him”).

Notice in the flashback that he begins the conversation reasonably relaxed. The Metatron also says a series of things about him that not only are false, but everyone, including the Metatron and Crowley, know are false: Aziraphale is not a leader, he’s a defector; he’s not honest, he lies all the time, in fact this entire season revolved around his one huge lie of hiding Gabriel. Not only does the justification not make sense coming from Metatron, but it shouldn’t make sense that Aziraphale would accept these reasons and it shouldn’t make sense to Crowley either. So is Aziraphale including these details in his recounting to Crowley so that he will get suspicious and figure out the jig? Maybe. Let’s continue.

Immediately upon being offered the job of Supreme Archangel, Aziraphale says “but I don’t want to go back to Heaven.” This is direct evidence against the genuinely held belief theory. If returning to Heaven and making a difference was a genuine motivation, we would have gotten a different response at this moment. But then we get something more.

“Where would I get my coffee?”

This is a beautiful response for a number of reasons; coffee should be trivial compared to the opportunity to be a Supreme Archangel, so it serves to highlight just how little interest Aziraphale has in returning. Taken at face value, it’s the Aziraphale equivalent of “not even at gunpoint.” But remember that coffee is a metaphor for liberty in this universe and this season. So what Aziraphale just said, in the language of Neil Gaiman metaphors, is:

I don’t want to go back to Heaven, I would rather have free will.

What does the Metatron do next?

He brings up Crowley.

Watch Aziraphale’s eyes before and after the mention of Crowley. He goes from confused to eye-flicking panic in the space of two syllables. Aziraphale already understands that his “no” is not being accepted, and that bringing Crowley into it can only possibly serve as a threat.

So the coffee, the choice, is a false choice. No one ever orders death. The Metatron has forced Aziraphale into a situation that looks an awful lot like a choice (it comes in a blue cup, after all) but it isn’t.

We definitely have some reliable narrator problems here. I’m going to presume for purposes of analysis that these cut-outs are accurate but incomplete, and that a more explicit threat about what would happen to Crowley if Aziraphale did not return to Heaven was made.

If we assume that Aziraphale has been made aware of a threat and is trying to hide that from Crowley, the rest of this scene reads very differently. Aziraphale cannot say, “you are in danger but you will be safe if you swear your allegiance to Heaven” or “I have to go, no matter what, and the only way we can be together is if you come with me,” but nonetheless he now has to convince Crowley to do the one thing he ought to know Crowley definitely doesn’t want to do all through subtext. Which we’ve spent an entire season establishing that they can’t communicate well when they are allowed to use their words. Disastrously, this is not a magic trick that Aziraphale can make work when it counts. Their failure to practice good communication means that, right now, when it counts most, they are not going to pull it off.

We see that Aziraphale is very hopeful that Crowley will pick up on his cues and play along. Obviously, he doesn’t.

If the whole riff about Hell being bad guys and Heaven being the side of truth and light is taken as genuine, it discards a massive amount of character development that we’ve witnessed in Job, Edinburgh, etc. (again, to all the genuine belief subscribers, I think it’s a compelling argument but it simply doesn’t account for the evidence). So if it’s not genuine, why say it? Again, to alert Crowley that something is Off, because Crowley should know that Aziraphale doesn’t actually believe that. They saved humanity from Heaven and Hell. They hid Gabriel from Heaven and Hell. Crowley knows that Aziraphale knows that Heaven and Hell are just two sides of the same coin. Notice again that Aziraphale glances out the window while he’s talking up Heaven; he knows the Metatron is watching, he can’t not defend the position of Heaven. I think it’s also worth noting that Aziraphale forcefully glances and gestures off to Crowley’s left (away from the window) when talking about Hell, and then turns his head to Crowley’s right (towards the window) to try to get him to realize that a representative of Heaven is literally standing right over there, just look out the window please dumbass!

When Crowley is asking Aziraphale if he said no, and we see the back of Aziraphale’s head, again we can see him turn his head to glance out the window. This is also when he changes strategies, and admits that Heaven could use a little reform. Because now there’s a problem almost as big as getting caught, which is that he won’t be able to get Crowley to go with him.

Which unfortunately makes the next part of this so much more heartbreaking. Because when Crowley begins his speech about being a team, Aziraphale wants to hear it. He can’t bring himself to shut down Crowley again, even though it could get them both in massive trouble. Notice that he glances out the window again during this, and the look of panic on his face. He begins to shake his head when Crowley mentions that Heaven and Hell are toxic; this can be taken a lot of ways but I’ll argue for the interpretation that he’s trying to get Crowley to STFU and stop saying shit that could get him destroyed.

After Crowley puts on his sunglasses we are in the “back half” and Sheen is doing a lot with phrasing here, specifically pregnant pauses.

“Come with me… to Heaven!”

“We can be together… as angels!”

Based on the pacing decision I am thoroughly convinced that the first half of each of these statements is intended to be the message to Crowley and the second half is always a qualifying statement to satisfy the Metatron.

Unfortunately, these pregnant pauses are completely backfiring in their effect on Crowley. The sentiment gives him hope and the qualifying statement crushes it again immediately. He is being taken on a horrible emotional rollercoaster with these declarations which are only further amping up his instinct to run away.

The only truly genuine, unaldulterated statement I think we get from Aziraphale is

“I need you!”

When it becomes clear to Aziraphale that there’s been an irreparable breakdown of communication between them and the subtext is not getting across, he says:

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

He means this literally. Crowley has not understood that Aziraphale is offering him protection from whatever threat the Metatron has made.

Which makes this part extra-devastating and also absolutely in keeping with a major running theme of this season.

“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Your understanding and my understanding are different understandings.

Crowley views the offer to return to Heaven through the lens of his trauma. He understands what life in Heaven would be like. But he doesn’t understand that Aziraphale is offering him protection.

But Aziraphale just heard Crowley say that he understood everything, and he’s still going to leave. There might be a little suspense of disbelief here to believe that Aziraphale really interpreted the statement this way, but we know that Aziraphale isn’t always the brightest battery-operated candle in the drawer. So under the assumption that Crowley did understand him and is still rejecting the offer, rejecting him—

“Well, then there’s nothing more to say.”

Please pay very close attention to Aziraphale’s body language for the next part. He’s active, agitated, turning side to side, arms swinging. This is a very fidgety angel.

“No nightingales.”

Aziraphale is now completely still. He’s feeling that feeling. You know it. The one where your entire body is getting sucked into the pit of your stomach. The aching paralysis.

This is their song, the one that began their romance in 1941, the secret code for all other attempts at flirtation. Crowley has walked out on him before, Aziraphale has been stubborn and obstinate before. But they always came back together, sometimes with an apology dance or other rituals that belonged solely to them.

But now the song is over.

By saying this, Crowley has broken up with Aziraphale. We can see in Aziraphale’s sudden transition from fidgety to paralysis that he has understood it this way.

Then he turns away from the window so that the Metatron won’t see him cry.

The kiss was heart-wrenching already. But we’re not done with this analysis.

During the kiss, Aziraphale has a choice to make between two very compelling bad choices. This is the Job dilemma. But worse.

If he doesn’t kiss Crowley back, he will let Crowley think that he doesn’t love him. He will have missed out on this (maybe/probably their first kiss?) and regret it forever.

If he does kiss Crowley back, in full view of the Metatron, they are in deep trouble.

He seems to do his best to split the difference. I would even go so far to say that the awkward arm waving is Aziraphale acting for the Metatron’s benefit, to try to portray that he doesn’t want this even though he absolutely does (just not like this). The anguish when they break the kiss is absolutely real, and the first thing he does is glance out the window. Through all this he has remained painfully aware of their spectator.

He wants to say I love you. He mouths it. He breathes it.

But the Metatron is watching.

He can’t tell Crowley I love you. So he has to say the only other thing that has always unequivocally meant “I love you” when he said it to Crowley. He has to hope that Crowley understands him now, even though he never has before.

Spoiler alert: Crowley doesn’t.

My forgiveness and your forgiveness are not the same forgiveness.

One more point against the genuine belief fans (I love you): if the offer to let Crowley back in is what changed his mind, then Crowley declining removes that incentive. Aziraphale should/would have consequently retreated to his last stated position of “I don’t want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my Crowley—I mean, coffee?” [post-publication nod to @theonevoice for a great little meta] It simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

I think a lot of fans were already making these assumptions about the use of the nightingale song so this meta may not feel revelatory, however, it isn’t canon (yet), and I’m sure I’ll find company that agree that canonization of this connection would strengthen a lot of these story points, as evidenced by how it is already assumed by many fans.

If you made it to the end - omg thank you! Please leave a note and tell me your thoughts!

Bonus: somebody already made the song connection here

~~~

if you liked this, you may also like:

Book of Life and what it means for Crowley

The Erasure of Human!Metatron

Baraqiel and Azazel

~~~

Recommended related (lie theory) metas by other people:

making the subtext text by @theonevoice

Aziraphale's Decision Matrix by @yowlthinks

Nothing Lasts Forever: META by @phoen1xr0se

[mangoisgay]

Anyone else notice how Eddie’s place is the only one not decorated? Just food for thought

[harryzroze]

oops uhh,,

spare insta doodle under cut lol

[vidavalor]

The Devil's Elevator & The Three Travelers

Maybe I'm the last to learn this but did you guys know there's a card trick in magic wherein decks of cards are made into metaphorical elevators and chosen red cards (representing "good") are progressively put into positions within a pile of black cards (representing "evil") as if falling to Hell... but the trick is that all of the chosen cards always return to the top of the pile?

And did you know that this trick is called The Devil's Elevator?

And that it has a sister trick called The Three Travelers that actually involves four cards getting into metaphorical elevators-- three red cards and one black one...like Gabriel, Aziraphale, Muriel, & Crowley...

...as God would say in S1:

Watch carefully... Round and round they go...

Let's start with The Devil's Elevator...

This trick just uses four red cards and four black ones. The black ones form "The Devil's Elevator" by representing Hell. The pile of black cards is the elevator with the elevator button being represented by the magician tapping the top of the pile to "press the elevator button" to complete the trick by seeming to magically moving the cards from one position to another.

One at a time, each of the red cards is then slotted between cards in the black card pile while the spectators watch. The magician then presses the "elevator button" atop the pile and the red card that had been placed between the black ones -- and metaphorically "fallen"-- suddenly appears at the top of the pile, rescued from The Devil.

The spectator's response is naturally one of bewilderment. They saw the red cards be placed in with the black cards... so, how did they then get back up the top? What in the bananafish gorilla shoelace is this card sorcery?! How does this trick work and what does all of this have to do with where Good Omens' story might be going?

If the red cards symbolize angels, then, metaphorically, in our story, the magician (Aziraphale) keeps helping push those fallen, red cards (Gabriel, Muriel, etc.), one by one, back up to the top of the pile...

...and, eventually, at the end of the trick, all of the cards-- "good"/red and "bad"/black alike-- are then spread out to reveal them to the spectators as equal, individual cards... just all members of the deck... which we see a bit already in the story and which would then be where the story is headed overall by the end of S3... but, we still have a big question...

...how does our magician do it?

How does he get all the fallen cards away from Satan and back up to the top of the pile and then reveal the full pile of all of the cards as an equal deck by the end of this? What can learning about how the literal card trick is done tell us about how Aziraphale might achieve something like this for the characters in the story?

Quite a lot, it seems...

You see, in the card trick, the magician successfully fools those watching and pulls off the trick with a certain bit of sleight-of-hand... something that is in view of the spectator but which the spectators-- distracted by the falling red cards-- do not fully notice...

...it turns out that the magician pulls off the trick by having been secretly holding one of the black cards close in his hands the entire time...

There actually are not four, aligned black cards in the pile... there only appears to be. The magician has separated one black card from the rest and woven it back in with the red cards. The magician uses this card to help protect the red cards and to show the spectators that they all belong at the top of the pile.

Pulling off the trick involves repeated showings of all of the red and black cards alike to the spectators in order to convince them that there is not secretly a black card involved in the magician's trick... but, to most eagle-eyed spectators, this is a deception. It already seems unlikely that the magician doesn't have his hands on his preferred black card because the trick's success doesn't actually make sense without that being the case.

The only way for the magician to pull off upending the social order of these "cards" and eventually blowing up The Devil's Elevator (and Heaven) alike is if one of the black cards only seemed like he was part of the demonic pack but was actually partnered with the magician.

Neither of them can do any of this on their own. They're a team. A group. A group of the two of them, one might even say lol... one that rescues, supports, and protects one another.

The magician rescues the selected black card by offering him an escape from the legions of other black cards through the magician's prized care and favor. It is this black card that then comes to the magician's emotional rescue, enabling him to feel secure enough to pull off the trick with confidence...

...and, together, they save the fallen cards by spreading the deck out and revealing for the spectators that, while individually unique, the cards are all fundamentally made of the same stuff...

...but, before we get there, there's another, sister elevator card trick to this one that is equally relevant to this story that we should look at...

...it's called 'The Three Travelers' but there are actually four cards on the move that "go into the elevator" during the course of the trick.

Three of the cards are red or "good" cards while the fourth is a black/"demonic" card...

...and have I mentioned that... making things more interesting... one of the red cards actually "gets in the elevator" with the black card?

...is this beginning to seem a bit familiar? 😉

This isn't The Marvelous Mr. Fell's magic trick here. Aziraphale isn't our magician in question on this one; this is an overall narrative magic trick. The Three Travelers card trick aligns with some of the story structure in S2 and into S3's set up in a way that might suggest it partially inspired it. So, let's look at how this kind of elevator card trick works and how it differs from The Devil's Elevator...

This one involves a full deck of cards but only four of them are actually used in the trick: three red and one black card, as we said above. The deck of cards is the elevator and on what the magician will tap to "push the button" for the elevator to make the magic of moving the cards around.

The trick has three stages, with four different cards total "getting into the elevator": First Red Card, Second Red Card and Third Red Card/The Black Card.

This maths out, as we'll look at, into this:

First, Red Card: Gabriel...

Second, Red Card: Aziraphale...

Third, Red Card and The Black Card: Muriel and Crowley...

This trick, though, does not result in all of the cards going Up...

...which is why it's the one that we're in the midst of currently watching unfold in the story rather than the endgame The Devil's Elevator that will be what Aziraphale and Crowley manage to pull off to bring the story to a conclusion.

What's the result of The Three Travelers trick in our story? It's to shake some things up and move these characters around in surprising ways that have only just begun to be fully seen by us so far...

The magician begins the trick with the deck stacked and with what seem like only three, red cards separated from it and shown to the spectators. These red cards, symbolically, are Gabriel, Aziraphale and Muriel in our story. However, the magician has really separated out a fourth card as well-- a black one, who is Crowley in our story. The spectators do not see that this card has been pulled from the deck as the magician has pulled it at the same time as they did with the Third, Red Card (Muriel) and keeps them together for a future twist that the spectators will see at the end of the trick.

Part 1 of the trick? The First Red Card-- Gabriel.

The First, Red Card (Gabriel) is shown to the spectator as being on the top of the deck... but is then placed by the magician at the very bottom of the deck.

The magician then "presses the Up button" on the deck of cards by tapping the top of it and telling the spectators that that's what he's doing. He then turns the top card of the deck over and reveals that it's actually the First, Red Card that the spectators thought that they just saw put at the bottom of the deck.

From a story perspective, we might sense this coming already. We saw Gabriel fall in S2 but we also know that Crowley and Aziraphale have discovered that Heaven can't actually strip angels of all of their powers. It would not take much for Gabriel to learn this information in S3 and Crowley is now willing to share it, as we saw him basically begin to tell Muriel this in 2.06 when he opened the file on Gabriel in front of them. Gabriel was The Supreme Archangel of Heaven and it seems likely that he is going to learn in S3 that, in terms of personal power, he still really is... all of which will be very helpful to Crowley and Aziraphale as their story results in winding up overthrowing Heaven to stop Armageddon for good.

Part 2 of the trick: The Second, Red Card-- Aziraphale.

Next, The Second, Red Card that was separated from the pack goes into the elevator... but with a really big twist.

The Second, Red Card is shown to the spectators to be-- I kid you not-- the next to take the same position of The First, Red Card.

The magician shows the spectators that The Second, Red Card (Aziraphale) is going to be placed on the top of the deck of cards-- the place formerly occupied before by The First, Red Card (Gabriel) before the start of the card trick-- and makes the spectators believe this to be the case...

...and the magician then places The Second, Red Card on top of the deck of cards, saying it's "gone into The Elevator"... because, remember... the point of the trick is actually to unexpectedly move the card from one place to another...

...and then the magician "pushes the button" on the deck of cards, symbolizing pushing the elevator button to move The Second, Red Card...

...the thing is, though, that the magician actually says he's pushing the opposite button to that of what he pressed for The First, Red Card...

In the magic trick, The First, Red Card comes from the top of the deck, is placed on the bottom, the button pressed by the magician is then the "Up" button, and The First, Red Card winds up on the top of the pile...

...all of this is actually reversed for The Second, Red Card in the trick. That card is placed on the top of the deck, the magician actually says he presses the elevator button of "Down" when he taps the deck of cards, and The Second, Red Card is revealed to be on the bottom of the pile of cards.

In Good Omens, all of this tracks for Gabriel and Aziraphale... with the exception of which button is pressed for which character. Gabriel goes down in the elevator but comes out on the top of the pile in the card trick while Aziraphale seems to be going up in the elevator but, we are seeing, looks like he's actually going to the bottom of the deck of cards. All of the cards eventually, though, are reunited with the full deck and become equal to them after The Three Travelers trick is complete... just not yet in either of the tricks or in the story itself.

While Gabriel was placed on the bottom and will surprise in S3 by still having the power he had on top and being able to use that to help everyone, Aziraphale-- The Second, Red Card-- is given an inverse of The First, Red Card/Gabriel in the trick. Aziraphale is placed on the top of the deck, as far as the speculators are concerned. He's given all the power. If the magician is to be believed (lol a big "if"!), Aziraphale is supposed to be The Supreme Archangel.

This is the deceptive part of the trick, though, because then the magician presses the elevator button-- the opposite one to what was pressed for Gabriel-- and, even though that button for Aziraphale is Up, well, something's going down in The Up. It's the opposite button to Gabriel's so it means the opposite thing because, in The Three Travelers magic trick, it's then revealed to the spectators that The Second, Red Card?...

...it's now actually moved to the bottom of the deck...

...but we're not done yet. One more part of the magic trick to go...

We can't forget about Part 3: our Third, Red Card (Muriel) and The Black Card (Crowley)...

The magician throws a big twist into this part of the trick...

While the First and Second Red Cards are largely about inverting expectations-- moving the cards into opposite positions of the top and the bottom of the deck of cards from where they were placed-- this part of the trick involves splitting the deck and changing the notion of what being at the top and the bottom of the decks actually means entirely.

By this point, the spectators are wondering what the deal is going to be for last element of the trick-- for The Third, Red Card that was presented at the start of the trick. The first, two Red Cards have largely moved up and down on the deck. One went top-bottom-top while the other went bottom-top-bottom. What new thing then can then happen with The Third, Red Card?

The magician shakes things up for the spectators by offering up this twist: what if we split the deck of cards in half?

The magician then lifts the top half of the cards off of the bottom half and separates them into two piles. The Top Half? We'll call it Pile A while The Bottom Half, we'll call Pile B. There is no deception here-- it's just literally halving the deck into two piles as close to evenly as can be eyeballed.

At this point, The First, Red Card (Gabriel) is now sitting atop Pile A while The Second, Red Card (Aziraphale) is now sitting at the bottom of Pile B. Collectively, this is still one deck of cards in total-- just visually split into two-- but what happens here with The Third, Red Card splits the power structure in an unique way for the sake of the story, which you'll see in a second.

What we now have by having Pile A and Pile B are two different portals-- new destinations to which the elevator can send the cards besides the up/down of the first two parts of the trick. Instead of putting a card on the top of a pile or the bottom of a pile and having it appear in the opposite spot, The Third, Red Card is about to travel sideways with the help of The Black Card... who also gets a new position of his own.

The magician puts what appears to the spectators to be The Third, Red Card down atop Pile B. (As a reminder: Aziraphale will be at the bottom of Pile B after getting into the elevator.)

The magician then sends The Third, Red Card into an elevator with, secretly, The Black Card riding along with them. In the card trick, the spectators do not know about the presence of The Black Card at this stage but, on our visual tv show paralleling this, we have to know this. So, we see Crowley and Muriel get into the elevator together.

The magician then "pushes the elevator button" on the top of Pile B. We spectators just saw what card the magician wants us to believe they just placed atop Pile B-- The Third, Red Card (Muriel). If Az is in Hell at the bottom of this pile and if we leave Muriel about here, more or less, at the end of S2...

...we think we know what's happening with Muriel-- that they've swapped with Aziraphale and have taken over the bookshop...

...but we haven't seen the magic trick actually fully performed yet, have we? Because the magician put The Third, Red Card down on the top of Pile B but he hasn't actually done this part of the trick yet... so, we think we know what's happening for Muriel but the whole point of the trick is that the card has to move now that it's been put into place and gotten into the elevator, right? So, it can't actually be in S3 where the magician first put it down in S2...

I don't think as a whole that we are even thinking about the possibility that Muriel is not actually running the bookshop in S3. None of us are, right? Has this crossed anyone's mind at all? I know for sure it didn't cross my mind until I just recently found myself on a devil-themed card trick rabbit hole and writing this meta lol... But, the thing is, if The Three Travelers theory is correct here... Muriel is actually going to be on the move. Let's look at how...

So, the magician puts The Third, Red Card atop Pile B and "presses the elevator button." The spectator knows, intellectually, that this means that The Third, Red Card (Muriel) is going to travel somewhere, as that is the point of the trick, but this happens quickly and, initially, we're just shocked by the fact that, when the magician then lifts that top card off of Pile B... which we just saw him make The Third, Red/Muriel Card before he "pushed the elevator button"... it's not that card.

The Third, Red Card has seemingly vanished from the spot it was just put in by the magician... so, come 3.01, Muriel might initially, for a moment, seem to make like Aziraphale's farthing in 1941 and not be where we expect them to be...

...but the twist is that, when the magician lifts the card atop Pile B and shows it to us, we spectators are shocked to realize that the card that is actually there is one that the spectators didn't consider a factor at all and never knew was a possibility for this role:

The Black Card.

So... Crowley...

Immediately upon the reveal of The Black Card atop Pile B, the magician flips over the card that is now atop Pile A...

The Third, Red Card has now teleported sideways in the elevator and has gone from the top of Pile B to the top of Pile A... which is the top of the deck of cards.

So, to recap... Muriel and Gabriel are now the top two cards in Pile A, which makes them the top, two cards in the entire deck as a whole... with Muriel actually now somehow slightly eclipsing The Supreme Archangel in power... while Crowley is topping Pile B and Aziraphale is at the bottom of it. In this way, even if they travelled sideways, Crowley and Muriel also both actually flipped their own positions from top to bottom, in a way kind of like that of Gabriel and Aziraphale. Crowley went from being a demon of Hell to being in charge of Angelic Embassy X while Muriel went from being in the bottom two ranks of Heaven to being up at the top (traveling alongside Gabriel a bit there, as well.) Most surprisingly?

Crowley has taken Muriel's place from where they were left in S2, which means that Crowley has the bookshop.

How does any of this work and make sense for S3? I think there's actually a lot here that does, surprisingly enough...

If you were The Metatron and Gabriel had thrown a monkey wrench into your Armageddon: Round Two plans, the absolute last thing you'd do is put anyone in charge of Heaven who you think would actually be good at being in charge of Heaven. You don't want someone who is an effective leader-- you want someone who will do what you tell them to do.

You want to make sure that you maintain absolute control and power so you might not put in charge anyone like, say, Michael or Uriel, even if they'd be logical choices to fill Gabriel's shoes. Especially because both of them-- especially Michael-- worked with Gabriel closely over the years and you might not trust that they won't flip sides. You would need someone with no known relationship to or specific loyalty towards Gabriel who seems like they're eager as all get out to do whatever it is you tell them to do.

You would actually be more likely to give someone like Muriel the position of Supreme Archangel... and lolololol do we think The Metatron would have any idea what kind of trouble he'd unknowingly actually caused for himself in doing that? His biggest mistake ever might be underestimating Muriel, right?

Muriel is amazing and far from dumb. They are not going to want to end all life on Earth. Muriel would make sure there was no issue with Crowley having the shop and would be the first to go to him for help. Maybe Crowley has no idea, even, that they're the Supreme Archangel for awhile because maybe Muriel didn't know at first and just said they were being recalled to Heaven.

Maybe the jumping off point for S3 is Crowley then finds out that Aziraphale is not in charge of Heaven when Muriel goes to him for help with Armageddon and, in the process, Crowley discovers that Aziraphale-- whom he hasn't seen since Aziraphale got into the elevator, x amount of time ago-- has fallen. Crowley eventually goes to Gabriel and Beez for help, bringing them into the story and now there is a group of like-minded angels and demons working together to save Aziraphale and stop Armageddon?

This actually would help set up something I've wanted for awhile and theorized might be the case but wasn't sure how it would work after the end of S2... which is for 3.01 to maybe be a bit like 1.01 and its 2008 minisode... only, this time around, the angel-ish being who lives in and runs the embassy bookshop is Crowley and the demon with a plan saying they need to work together to stop Armageddon is Aziraphale? 😊

[secretlythatsme]

thinking of a dp x dc where danny quotes "what the fuck richard" at nightwing lol

so many variables like is it an isekai? does he know nightwing's identity? was it just a random coincidence? and like, dick has the skills and experience to breeze past that and not let anything show, but i think it'd be Way funnier if this was an isekai au and vines didn't exist in the dc universe. or at least not that specific one. so dick breezes past it but is also mentally freaking out like "shit that sounded really sincere... does he know? how would he know? there's no way he knows. does he know??"

[novelconcepts]

The more the show progresses, the more I want to see the 90s cast infiltrating the modern timeline. We've gotten hints of it with Shauna and her younger self, her Jackie hauntings. We've gotten a little more with adult Lottie seeing teenage Nat (and Laura Lee), and with Natalie getting teenage Lottie in her final moments. I want more. I want the teen cast to be absolutely invasive on pivotal adult moments, infecting their adult counterparts when least expected. I want Taissa's argument with Van to dissolve into their teenage selves, their bond endless and timeless and inescapable. I want Misty absolutely wrecked by young Natalie lurking around corners, watching from mirrors. I want to see these women unable to navigate adulthood without the specters of their teenage selves cropping up absolutely everywhere, more and more as they let the memories in, as they stop being able to repress the trauma. They didn't grow up. They never could. You are always doomed to regress around your high school teammates. You are haunted by the phantom elements of your misspent youth. It is a comfort, and it is a gift, and it is a trial, and it is a curse. I would love to see that reflected with greater intensity, until the lines blur, until the timelines have no choice but to intersect. They haven't escaped themselves at all. They didn't grow up. They just got older.

[juney-blues]

i think gamers dismissed the notion of keeping score in non-arcadey titles too easily i think. some games are a lot funner if you try to play them with score in mind

[whollyjoly]

so aisha just tweeted this....

and im looking at those last two emojis 😐😳....

and i remember that lou said this....

...and this....

...

...what does it MEAN??

[valgeristik]

Ничего не останется от нас, Нам останемся, в лучшем случае, мы

hi. hello. listen to this song

i have so many thoughts about these two. oh my god. maybe i will write it out some day, but for now drawing it out will do

translation will be under the cut! knowing the words does add to the work so i do recommend reading it. or just enjoy the art <3

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E-sims donation

heres the translation, color coded according to how i broke it up for the art. just in casies

first page:

Love is scarier than war

Love strikes more true than steel

second page:

More true, because of your own volition

third page:

You run towards all the winds

Let there be pain and eternal battle

Not atmospheric, not earthly

fourth page:

But definitely with you

caption:

There will be nothing left of us,

we will be left with, in the best case, ourselves

[neversetyoufree]

Alright. Okay.

So the entire time I've been reading VnC, I've been assuming that Noé is the sole known survivor of the Archivistes in a relatively normal way. I've been assuming that something happened to the Archiviste clan within Noé's lifetime, just before his human "grandparents" found him in the snow. Obviously I wondered about what happened—who slaughtered them if they were killed and what else might have happened if they aren't all dead as we've been told, but I never questioned the timeline. I assumed that the Archivistes must have been alive and kicking until recently, even if Noé's last remaining family was living in hiding from the rest of vampire society or something like that.

But. We don't actually know that that's true. We don't know a single thing about the timeline of the Archivistes' extermination other than what Nox says about them having all died "long ago." Noé is nineteen years old, and we have no idea how old Nox is. Could the fifteen to seventeen years between Noé's first adoption and the present day be enough to count as long ago?

This is Jun Mochizuki we're talking about. There is extensive precedent in her work (by way of Pandora Hearts) for characters turning up seemingly out of nowhere, often with no memory, and in Pandora Hearts, these cases never had a simple answer. It was always caused by the time-bending properties of the Abyss.

It is entirely within the realm of possibility for the rest of the Archiviste clan to have died years, decades, or even a century or more before Noé was found by his human grandparents. We don't have precedent yet for anything that messes with time in VnC like PH's Abyss, so I don't know how this could have happened, but I don't think we can fully discount the possibility. The outer bounds of world formula rewriting as a power are yet to be fully explored, so it's hard to say firmly that anything's impossible. There might be a way for Noé to exist in the present even if the rest of his clan was killed well over nineteen years ago (be it by PH style time-bending or by some entirely different mechanism).

It's still possible (and even likely) that the Archivistes died or disappeared less than twenty years ago, but it's not quite the concrete fact that I've been thinking of it as this entire time. It's entirely possible that Noé's backstory contains Mochizuki Timeline Fuckery, and now that I've had that thought, I can't unsee it. The author of Pandora Hearts going out of her way to say that her protagonist was found mysteriously alone and crying with no memory of how he got that way is. conspicuous as hell.

[indigovigilance]

Continuity Errors

Crowley can stop time. We’ve noticed buggy things about time. Let’s talk about it.

I’m going to start with an overview of every time he has definitely frozen time in order to establish the mechanics of Crowley’s time-stopping power in the GO universe. Then, I’m going to talk about other events where Crowley may have stopped time, and it wasn’t (directly) shown to the audience.

or read this 3,500 word beast of a meta on Ao3

edit: if you're deciding whether or not to read this, check out the reblog notes!

Opening obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Crowley freezes time locally, selectively exempting individuals

S1E2

In S1E2, Crowley freezes time at the corporate training ground to interrogate Mary Hodges, formerly Sister Mary Loquacious (played by Nina Sosanya, actor for Nina in S2). It may seem like she’s just hypnotized and time is progressing normally around all of them, but that isn’t the case. Immediately before Crowley hypnotizes Hodges, we can hear gunfire in the background; a few seconds before Hodges is released from the trance, we hear shouting and sirens. But during the time that Hodges is entranced, all we hear is three things: the dialogue, music, and what sounds like the ticking of a kitchen timer. 

We could do a little bit of extrapolation from the fact that the beginnings of gunshots and siren sounds are temporally very close together, especially depending on how we measure time. Crowley turns the paintball guns into deadly weapons at 36:59. Crowley freezes Mary Hodges at 38:47. A ticking sound starts the same moment. We also hear what we will come to recognize as the “pause time” sound, a sort of wobbly sound. The ticking sound seems to stop around… 40:07? Right before the line about lovely little toesy woesies? It’s unclear with the overlapping tracks. At 40:11 Crowley says “let’s go” and we can hear sirens in the background start now. Aziraphale then snaps his fingers and unfreezes Hodges at 40:17.

So during 191 seconds of screentime, 84 seconds of it was spent with time frozen, if I accept the ticking sound to be the indicator. If time was only frozen locally, meaning just the paintball grounds and not the nearest police station and roads leading to it, then emergency services had just over three minutes from the time the first live round was fired to arrival. If time was actually frozen globally except for Crowley, Azirarphale, and Hodges, then emergency services got there in 85 seconds, or less than a minute and a half. Maybe Britain is doing something wildly different than here idk but I think the more likely explanation for the event timing is that Crowley is only freezing time in a local bubble. The shooters stop shooting but the police are still driving towards them while Crowley and Aziraphale are interrogating an entranced Mary Hodges.

The case with Hodges is kind of confusing because the audience is presented with a false dichotomy between “frozen in time” and “hypnotized.” It’s actually both. Crowley has frozen time around the three of them, but Hodges, like Aziraphale, was exempt. It just so happens that she was also entranced at the same time, which explains as well why Aziraphale can release her from the trance, since our best evidence indicates that he can’t control time.

S1E3 & S2E3

In S1E3, Crowley freezes Jean Claude, the executioner at the Bastille. Immediately before, we can hear the guillotine, screaming and jeering outside the cell. As soon as Jean Claude is frozen, however (13:29, complete with wobble sound), there is complete background silence, except for the dialogue between our ineffable aristocrats. When Crowley restarts time, background noise restarts as well. This evidence indicates that Crowley froze time for the surrounding area as well as inside the cell.

In S2E3, Crowley freezes Mr. Dalrymple. We don’t have definitive information about how much of the rest of the world is affected since the scene takes place indoors on a quiet night and there are no external cues of time starting or stopping.

S1E6: Freezing Out Satan

In S1E6, not only are Crowley, Aziraphale, and Adam pulled out of the normal flow of time: it seems that they are also pulled out of normal space. They appear to be in an ethereal desert where we can see their wings, but we don’t actually know where they are. The way we enter, inhabit, and then exit this time-stop is completely different from any of the other three explicit timestop scenes: Crowley must use his whole body to summon the power to cast the miracle, they travel elsewhere, then he must use his crankshaft to exit the time-stop.

I take this to indicate that freezing time when Satan is near takes a lot more power than freezing time around Mary Hodges, Jean Claude, or Mr. Dalrymple. Presumably, the power a being has, the more power it takes to lock them out of a bubble to stopped time.

Time Stop Mechanics

Here are my key takeaways from analyzing these four scenes:

Crowley isn’t so much freezing all of time as pulling himself and Aziraphale (and sometimes Adam) out of the flow of time. The effort this takes is dependent on the entities that they are “pulling away” from. It is easy to pull away from humans, so much so that they don’t have to pull away very far and can occupy the same space in a bubble of paused time. When he is “pulling away” from Satan, however, he must pull away much further, all the way to another plane.

Crowley’s ability is so powerful that he can use it to escape Satan. He could use it to lock out other powerful beings, if he wanted to, but it would take a lot of effort.

Aziraphale, a being with power somewhere on the spectrum between human and Satan, could be frozen by Crowley’s powers. The fact that Aziraphale is still present and active during all of these scenes, unaffected by the time stop is only indicative of Crowley’s choice to exempt him, just as he does with a hypnotized Mary Hodges and Adam.

Crowley has stopped time on Aziraphale

In a previous post I have addressed the possible symbolic meaning behind the Honolulu Roast sign that suddenly appears behind Crowley in the S2E1 coffee shop scene. This addresses the symbolic meaning of Honolulu with respect to Aziraphale, but fails to address the “roast” part, which I have the opportunity to do now. I begin by establishing two premises:

Crowley loves Aziraphale and after 6,000 years knows him very well.

Crowley is a dick.

Crowley sits down at the table across from Aziraphale and asks him what the problem is. At this point, there is no “Honolulu Roast” sign behind him. The camera flips to Aziraphale as he (badly) tries to deny that there is any problem. When the camera flips back to Crowley, a “today’s special: Honolulu Roast” sign has appeared behind him.

What does Crowley do next?

Crowley roasts Aziraphale.

Crowley proceeds to read Aziraphale to filth, rattling off all his tells and putting him in his place for even daring to think that he could mislead Crowley about his internal emotional state.

While we’ve seen a lot more of his soft side this season, we cannot forget that the demon Crowley, at the end of the day, is a prick. He really did pause time just so that he could go get a chalkboard, write a pun on it, and hang it on the wall behind him like a display card for open mic night. He’s still going to help Aziraphale, of course. But he’s going to make fun of him first.

Let me reiterate: Crowley literally paused time, got up from the table, put up this sign, then sat back down in (as close to) exactly the same position (as possible) to fool Aziraphale into not noticing the pause, because this joke is entirely for Crowley’s own amusement. We have some cinematographic evidence of this besides just the sign itself: the lamp behind him has moved slightly, and the camera angle focusing on Crowley has changed. Literally, the left hand side of the frame gets cut off due to the repositioning. From a production perspective, this scene would have been shot all at the same time, so should not have changed angles. That said, they did a by-hand follow-in of Crowley walking in and sitting down, then switched to a dolly, but… I have faith that they could have matched the shot line-up practically pixel for pixel if they wanted to. All to say: changing the camera position before and after, alongside the other conspicuous changes, seems like it was a deliberate framing choice used to indicate that Crowley tried his best to get back into exactly the same position, but was just a little off.

But Crowley’s prank is troubling from a perspective of honesty and agency. Based on the way the dialogue progresses, it seems pretty clear that Aziraphale doesn’t know that he was frozen. Whether or not Crowley could freeze Aziraphale was beside the point until this scene where we learn that Crowley would, even for a really dumb reason like making a joke at Aziraphale’s expense.

Before moving on, I want to note that the sudden appearance of this sign could be characterized as a continuity error, even though it was the result of a deliberate action by an in-world character. Jettison your traditional understanding of “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” In this universe, we can have continuity errors by virtue that Aziraphale is experiencing time as if it is continuous, not noticing that he functionally blacked out for a few minutes and that things have changed around him. This is not a show-level continuity error. This is an Aziraphale-level continuity error.

Crowley can reverse time

Credit where credit is due: it was this comment on the Ao3 version of my meta, The Erasure of Human!Metatron, that became an earworm that got me thinking specifically about Crowley's abilities:

So thank you, LoveIsLove &lt;3

Let’s go back to the Mary Hodges scene, or actually a few minutes before. Our ineffable idiots get shot by paintballs.

“Look at the state of this coat. I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now. I'll never get this stain out.”

“You could miracle it away.”

“Hmm… Yes, but… well, I would always know the stain was there. Underneath, I mean.”

Aziraphale finagles himself a favor without ever actually asking for it. Full points, princess. But let’s examine the actual content of the dialogue. This cannot be a complete 100% bluff; Aziraphale is not going to tell a straight lie to Crowley that they both know is false about the respective nature of their powers. It must be the case that there is some truth to this statement. There is a fundamental difference between what Aziraphale can do about the paintball stain and what Crowley is actually going to do about it. Furthermore, what Crowley does is something different than a miracle.

Crowley then blows on the stain, it disappears, and Aziraphale looks quite pleased. Yes, yes, he cajoled Anthony J Acts of Service Crowley into doing his signature move, but also, he’s genuinely thankful that Crowley did something for him that he couldn’t do for himself, because miracles don’t work like that. Notably, Crowley doesn't snap his fingers or make any other gesture that we normally associate with miracles, and we don’t hear the miracle sound, which is further evidence that this is not a miracle, but something different.

If you haven’t already, please read my meta entitled Jimbriel, Satan, the Book of Life, and what it means for Crowley. It explains in depth and with evidentiary support my theory about how erasure works in the Good Omens universe. The Cliff’s notes version is that erasing something, whether it be a name from the Book of Life or a paintball from a coat, is akin to erasing a pencil mark on paper; it’s technically gone but you’ll always know it was there. Underneath.

What Crowley has done, then, is not erasing the paintball stain.

He’s reversed it.

When he blows on the paintball stain, he is reversing time in a microcosm of the universe, truly making it so that the paintball never hit the jacket. In a world full of rubber erasers, Crowley has the only Control-Z. When things are “erased” by the Book of Life, they are changed, but when Crowley reverses something, they never happened (making Beelzebub’s description of the Book of Life actually a more accurate description of Crowley’s power). It is something unique that Crowley can do that Aziraphale can’t, and we haven’t seen any evidence of any other celestial being pausing or reversing time. Please feel free to reblog with links to relevant meta if I’m wrong about that.

In true Neil Gaiman style, Crowley using this power to do something mundane like get rid of paintball paint was an incredibly benign and subtle way to indicate that Crowley has an immense, untapped power that we have not yet seen him use for any major purpose. 

I repeat: we didn’t see him use it. Because usually, like Aziraphale, we the audience are exempt from the time freeze, and we get to watch what happens. But this time, we were frozen out with Aziraphale.

Clock Theory revisited: a reinterpretation of “continuity error”

A summary of clock theory

Neil Gaiman’s ask and answer on clock theory

Neil Gaiman responded to an ask about the clock jumping forward from 9:25 to 9:40 before and after the kiss with a single sentence: “It’s a continuity error, I’m afraid.”

In the usual manner, Neil is not lying, but he is relying on you making an incorrect interpretation of his seemingly straightforward and innocuous but actually ambiguous and incredibly meaningful statement. As I stated with regards to the Honolulu Roast chalkboard sign, do not interpret “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” Interpret “continuity error” as “Aziraphale believes that his experience of time is in lockstep with the actual flow of time and doesn’t realize that 11 minutes passed while he was frozen.”

Let’s consider the evidence:

Image at timestamp 41:04 “[Hold that thought!]” the clock reads 9:25

Image at 45:04 “If Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together, then we can” the clock still reads 9:25

Image at 47:56 the clock now reads 9:40. 

Image at 48:14 the clock reads 9:40

There are two four-minute gaps, from the perspective of the viewer, and we have views of the clock face at both ends of each gap.

Gap 1, from 41:04 to 45:04, the clock hands do not move at all, nor do they in any of the intervening shots.

Gap 2, from 45:04 to 47:56 (or 48:14, as you prefer), the clock hands move 15 minutes.

The Occam’s razor, Doylian explanation for why the clock hands don't move from 41:04 to 45:04 is that the clock is a prop. It does not have any timekeeping mechanism, the hands don’t move unless some human being opens up the glass, reaches in there, and manually adjusts it. They weren’t going to interrupt filming this moving scene to move the clock hands minute by minute, so it seems pretty plausible that the fact that it doesn’t move is just an artifact of production limitations.

The Watsonian explanation, which I do not favor, is that Crowley has frozen time for just the two of them. They are in a microcosm all their own. If true, this would have an abundance of implications, such that they are actually free to speak to each other freely, which they don’t. So I feel like with that alone, we can set this aside, but I’m open to being convinced otherwise.

If we accept the “clock is a prop” explanation for Gap 1, it doesn’t really hold for Gap 2 that they moved it a full fifteen minutes. So much care and attention to detail was given for all other parts of this show; I don’t realistically believe that a production staff member moved the hands a random amount. The music carries us from Crowley’s exit to Metatron’s entrance seamlessly, yet more time seems to have passed in-world than on-screen. There are two possible explanations:

There was more material that was supposed to be filmed to account for 15 minutes that got cut

We are supposed to figure out that there’s some “Greek play” style shenaniganery afoot

I will debunk explanation #1 with simply this: David’s contact lenses would sometimes rotate so that the slit pupils were not vertical. This error was fixed by VFX in post.

You might assume, when watching Good Omens, that Crowley’s serpent-like eyes are created using contact lenses. Or perhaps you’d presume they’re CGI. Actually, they’re a mix of both.

“The CGI versions were usually because the contact lenses had swiveled in David’s eyes … and we had to fix it,” says Mackinnon.

If they could fix Crowley’s eyes in post, there is absolutely no reason to expect that they couldn’t or wouldn’t have fixed the clock hand positions in post, especially if it was someone’s job to reach in there and change the positions to try to maintain set continuity in the first place. Additionally, there is deliberate use of clocks to symbolize various themes across both seasons. A Doylian error like this is not something that would have been overlooked and survived into publication.

So we are left with explanation #2. Time has passed that we, the viewers, don’t observe. What was happening during that time that we missed? More importantly, who knows that this time has passed? Aziraphale doesn’t seem to, and it’s unclear what the Metatron does or doesn’t know.

Some fans have posited that the Metatron is doing the time manipulations, but canonically, the only entity we have observed manipulate time is Crowley. We assume the Metatron is powerful because the angels are all afraid of him, but we’ve never actually seen him do anything, and so have no primary evidence for this. All over, he’s got some big “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” Wizard of Oz vibes happening; I’m not convinced he could miracle his way out of a wet paper bag, and there’s a chance that in Season 3 we’ll find out that he’s all bluff. Not so with Crowley.

My hypothesis is that Crowley froze Aziraphale and everybody else for a one block radius, including the Metatron, and did something important in the bookshop before it lost its protection. Please see my meta on Sovereignty, Citizenship, and the Bookshop for an evidence-based argument on why the bookshop was the only place in the universe that Crowley could have safely hidden something. Since Aziraphale is no longer the head of an independent embassy, whatever Crowley was keeping safe in there isn’t safe anymore, and needs to be moved. Universe time continued to pass and the clock reflects that, but Aziraphale and the Metatron aren’t aware that they were paused.

Which also gives us a new interpretation for the kiss.

The Kiss, revisited

Crowley didn’t want to send Aziraphale a message.

Crowley needed a plausible cover for the immense effort it was going to take him to freeze time against Aziraphale and the Metatron that he knew was standing outside.

How do I know he knew?

No nightingales.

Juliet. Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day:

It was the nightingale, and not the lark,

That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;

Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree:

Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

Romeo. It was the lark, the herald of the morn,

No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks

Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east:

Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day

Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.

I must be gone and live, or stay and die.

No nightingales could be the end of a romance. I argued as much in my inaugural meta just six weeks ago (and what a six weeks it has been, people!) But “no nightingales” could also be a secret signal to two people who have a unique bond through Shakespeare that Crowley has realized he is not safe, and he needs to leave, and he’s trying to tell Aziraphale that without letting their spectator in on the message.

Now he has to stop time to secure whatever item he’d been keeping safe in the bookshop. But keeping Satan at bay required him to lunge upwards, using his whole body to freeze time. He can’t get away with anything like that here in the bookshop, that would give up the ruse.

But what if he lunged at the person everyone knows he’s in love with and violently kisses them on the mouth, his entire body tense with the effort of freezing time in the presence of two ethereal beings? No one would notice the difference, or think anything nefarious of it; a Class A surreptitious time-stop.

One last crackpot theory.

Aziraphale knows what Crowley did. Well, he knows that he froze time, and for the first time realizes that Crowley has locked him out, and that he used the kiss as a cover. The violation of agency, trust, and their romantic bond are all breaking across him in the instant that time restarts, after Crowley has gone away for 11 minutes and returned to almost, but not quite, the same position inside Aziraphale’s arms. It is an intimate act that Aziraphale is fully tuned into, and for the first time, he’s noticing the continuity errors.

His horror-filled expression is one of broken trust. But his bond to Crowley is too strong for even this to break it. He knows that whatever reason Crowley had to pull this trick on him, it must have been a good one. It must have been to protect him.

“I forgive you.”

***

One more completely crackpot theory based on the Gavin Finney interview at The Ineffable Con last weekend.

The camera was supposed to circle them. Finney says that this was to show that they are the center of their universe, and their world is spinning.

Okay, okay. But could it not also have represented the spinning of clock hands? I’m just saying.

Closing obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Find my entire collection of metas here

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so hows everyone feeling about love winning in nevada