#THIS IS ABOUT TRANS MEN DO NOT DERAIL

[ablueberryblogs]

I don't know what trans man need to hear this but you're allowed to be angry. It doesn't make you evil. You are allowed to experience all possible emotions without apology and still be a good man.

*this is about trans men specifically, do not derail. You are free to make your own post*

[peripaltepsy]

TRANSMASC NAMES SOUND LIKE AWESOME 70'S ROCK SINGERS

FUCK THAT VICTORIAN CHILD NAME POST

TRANSMASC NAMES SOUND LIKE AWESOME 70'S ROCK SINGER NAMES

TRANSMASC NAMES ARE SO HOT IT MAKES ME WANT TO KISS THEM IMMEDIATELY

TRANSMASC PEOPLE ALWAYS CHOOSE THE MOST SWAG NAMES EVER AND THIS IS AN OBJECTIVE FACT. THIS IS NOT MY OPINION, IT'S AN OBJECTIVE FACT LIKE GRAVITY

ME, TRANSNEUTRAL REACTING TO TRANSMASC NAMES: 🤩🤩🤩🥰🥰🥰🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍😍😋😋😋😋🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤩🤩🤩🤩

[confused-canid]

For any transmascs and trans men and trans boys who need this,

Everything you do is masculine, because you're doing it. It's not up to others to call you too feminine for doing something.

Wearing that crop top or something pink and frilly, can be masculine if you want it to, because you're doing it.

[sharkgirldick]

What another beautiful day to love and respect fat women, especially fat women of color and fat trans women.

Have a wonderful day ladies 💚

[slesbian-engineer]

Neeed to jerk her off rn. I need to watch their eyelids flutter and face flush a bit as she lets out a shallow gasp with each stroke. I need one hand holding their hipbone, pressing them against the wall and leaving a bruise where my fingers gripped her flesh. I need to kiss her forehead and the tip of her nose when she finishes in my hands, and I NEED to tell her what a good job she did for me.

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

thanks for sharing that trans violence advocate article. I'm always afraid to share it because bringing it up always seems to bring a bunch of people out of the woodwork to call the sharers MRAs.

Yeah I do get that a lot, but for my own mental health I choose to believe those are fake accounts and not real trans women because what they're saying is so fucking stupid and cruel that it must be a psy-op meant to divide the community. And if there are real trans women saying that shit, they're fucking stupid assholes and I don't respect them or their opinions anyway. But to be fair, they are probably like 19 years old and I'm not about to fight a child.

[phoenshire]

trans women and trans boys huh. can we like. please refer to trans men as men.

[snazum]

i hate that i get the biggest surge of creative energy and Do Stuff motivation between the hours of 2am-5am. Like i’d like a normal sleep schedule.

ALSO! It’s I want to Do Stuff with Others. Like everyones asleep as they should be! But I’m over here like “oh I should ask this person what they think of this idea. Lets make this thing together”

Also! Wish capitalism would fucking die. Everyones busy and has jobs (and school but thats important stuff so please do it) and I’m over here being a NEET. Actually it’s embarrassing but moving on. (got a school advisor app thing this week super excited and nervous <not for reasons you’d think>) But like, I /know/ friends who’d want to create and do things but unfortunetly are burned out by work and school and shitty fucking people.

Can’t wait to get into the film program. Little scared cause I don’t want to have to deal with the whole “Oh u don’t watch movies? What was the first marvel movie budget” or smth. It was really fuckin annoying in highschool. And it felt like it was cause I was “fem presenting” (I wasn’t. I was p masc. Just higher voice, small, quiet and all around fem socialized) So idk, the way I react and read the situation is an attack on my knowledge <Which I’ll always admit I live under a rock>

[until-my-teeth-fell-out]

Okay I know we all joke about that but in fact I was reading an opinionated post about men and pregnancy and the "all i read was 'pregnant men' and I got so horny I lost track of thought" thing didhappe I n tome i☕️ouww

[lightthatibecome]

Men deserve to bite anyone who can't stand when a post isn't all inclusive and, upon seeing a post like this, lose all common sense and any semblance of good judgment because they think everyone should be included in everything, actually

Men on their periods deserve special biting permissions in the workplace

[drdemonprince]

have you defined the meaning of “white woman brain” anywhere and if not, can you? /gen

Many Black and brown feminist writers have discussed this phenomenon and I encourage you to seek out a lot of writing about this subject, because there are a variety of perspectives, but to distill it, white woman fragility brain is a phenomenon that is not exclusive to either white people or to women, but is especially common among those who can weaponize white womanhood, and it consists of the following qualities:

A view of oneself as a helpless victim that is constantly in threat of being attacked, especially by strangers (even though statistically, this is not the case).

A refusal to consider oneself as capable of doing harm to others, especially a lack of consideration toward others' body autonomy or consent. (even while being highly concerned about one's own autonomy and consent).

A generally passive or passive-aggressive orientation toward the world: seeing oneself as a romantic or sexual object to be approached, but never wanting to initiate (or feeling that one never can), never feeling comfortable directly communicating displeasure or one's desires, believing that others instead must guess at it. (and then resenting people when they don't, but never expressing it).

A tendency to cry, excessively berate oneself, complain about being made to feel "unsafe," or give up when criticized or challenged, especially when challenged by people of color.

A tendency to associate a person's body type with how much of a threat they are. For example, feeling unsafe around people with penises and expecting a social space to accommodate that fear to cater to you, a fear of people who come from cultures where it's common to speak loudly, a fear of those who are large, assertive, and/or darker-skinned.

Instinctive fawning-type responses to stress, and a pattern of feigning happiness, agreeability, and ease when one is not genuinely feeling it, and expecting all other people (but especially other women) to feign happiness as well, paired with a deep-seated resentment of anyone who violates this illusion and expresses any negativity (being especially punitive toward women of color).

Instinctively "smoothing over" conflict between other people before it even begins, even when healthy conflict is necessary and not at all your business-- often performed by gossiping behind other people's backs, triangulating information when it is not yours to share, asking people to alter their behavior in order to avoid a reaction from somebody else, presenting your concerns as if they were somebody else's ("what will people think!"), tone-policing the airing of grievances, derailing hard conversations with more light-hearted topics, and excluding people who are known to be candid and assertive.

Here are some articles on elements of the phenomenon and why it is so dangerous:

Now, I single white cis women out a lot when I am describing this phenomenon, because they have the most to gain from exhibiting these qualities, but make no mistake: this is a pattern that many types of people can and do use. I have seen white trans women use white women's tears to silence critique. I have witnessed women of color being passive-aggressively derailed and silenced by a Black manager who was in a position of institutional power over them. Multiple of the women who sexually harassed me in the story linked above were not white. And LORD knows I see plenty of t boys falling back on this shit, as well as cis men from wealthy backgrounds. It's a mindset that has deep colonial roots and we all must be on the look out for it in ourselves and others, and we must be vigilant in uprooting it.

[camomileapplesyrup]

today i got into a heated argument with two TRAs over the twoXchromosomes subreddit. i made a post about the woman-centric subreddit now being overrun with men & MRAs who harass women that share their traumatic experiences with men. from SA, to spousal abuse, women found a space where they felt safe discussing their experiences in life.

posts expressing feminist thought, traumatic experiences & general fear of men were met with downvote bombings & harassment.

men pretend to be underage girls pretending not to understand masturbation and acting they don't know how to wash "down there", asking for advice for sexual gratification of course.

men CONSTANTLY adding their two cents to posts that absolutely do not need it.

the subreddit is now uncomfortable & stifling, mods do absolutely nothing about it. so i made a lengthy post and so many women responded. over 500 comments of women responding positively, and thanking me for calling out an ongoing issue.

well, apparently i am transphobic and i am acting "sussy" with saying; “every time i come here and a woman makes a post with the most MINUSCULE feminist intent, or sharing her trauma, or difficulties in her personal experiences, it doesn't just get downvoted to oblivion, but filled up with comments of dudes adding their two cents, tone policing, making sexual & or fetish comments or "not all men"ing her. this is a woman centric community. two X chromosomes. we aren't going to make our tones softer, be gentler and tip-toe around our individual experiences to make YOU, a dude, comfortable.”

all it took was this for two TRAs to gang up on me & call me transphobic. saying this is why they don't trust cis feminists, and patronising me with expressions like "you must be so brave for calling yourself a radfem". they claimed that i cannot call myself a radical feminist because it's just bigoted towards trans women, despite me living in a 3rd world country where we don't even have working woman's shelters and proper laws against spousal abuse. "im sorry your life is hard as a woman living in a misogynistic country, but that is here nor there with regard to the terminology we're discussing" i'm sorry, what?

most of us aren't privileged enough to be libfems. i wish pink fucking girlboss they/she queen xenogender discourse was what my country could be doing, but life is not fair for everyone. if a woman here gets abused, stalked, or raped, she has nowhere to go. no phone number to call. no police to call. no prosecutor to trust in. and i went through this, personally.

by the end i had to block them, because they were derailing the conversation. but fuck, even when i literally do my best and try to be inclusive to everyone, i get spat in the fucking face.

[radfemsiren]

The Neil Gaiman situation really was predictable… men who go on and on about trans issues are the new predatory male feminists.

They know it will make them popular with young girls, and it will make any woman that comes forth about them seem like an anti trans bigot trying to derail his cause.

It’s just so shocking how little men have to do for society to jump to their defense… he’s not even trans or involved in the UK elections , and still people are saying this is a conspiracy theory ….

[ugly-anarchist]

Even if I wasn't trans and bi my aroness would make me so extremely queer

Romantic relationships are the norm, not wanting them ever and not being romantically attracted to people is seen as literally inhuman. Especially when you're afab.

When you're raised as a "woman" everything in your life, every decision you make, 24/7 365 days a year is dictated by potential romance.

"Don't dye your hair or get a tattoo, your future husband won't like that"

"Don't get that job, men don't like women who earn more than them"

"Don't work out too much, your future boyfriend will feel emasculated"

"Dress like this to attract a man"

"Men like this kind of personality"

"You'll need to learn these skills so you can be a good wife someday!"

"You need to dedicate time to putting yourself out there! You can't spend all your time doing [thing you actually enjoy]!"

And yeah, it's linked with misogyny and women have been choosing to be single and childless for centuries despite the norm but the fact that it's not my choice is what makes me queer.

I didn't choose to not feel romantic attraction. I didn't choose to be averse to romance. I didn't choose to be aromantic.

I didn't choose to oppose the norm, I was born outside of it. And that's what queerness is all about.

(And yes, cisgender heterosexual aromantic men are 100% queer, I'm just speaking from my own personal experience)

[This post is about aromanticism, do not derail or tag as ace/asexual/aroace]

[the-kingshound]

I hope my criticism (more like opposing opinion because I fully acknowledge that this story is your creation) doesn't derail things/come across as if I'm trying to insult you but I'm not a fan of Arthur being trans or labelled as a lesbian.

It's definitely a subjective opinion of mine that with historical fiction I like having a well known constant, while that is my preference, I realise that fiction is fiction and not every or even most historical fiction works will be for me. But even though Arthur is generally more fiction than fact anyway, I think long repeated legends of a particular figure should be respected. But again: fiction is fiction.

The whole trans and lesbian thing is a separate issue. Trans, straight, gay, bi and lesbian are rooted in sex not gender and blurring the lines is just erasure the long way round. As a bi woman I already feel that social media has destroyed what it means to be bi and made everyone pan, the same is happening with lesbians imo. To be homosexual, you are sexually attracted to the same sex and for heterosexuals it's the opposite. If an individual couple decides to shirk all labels between themselves then that literally has no bearing on anyone else and I have literally no problem with what individual couples get up to beyond both parties consenting but the idea that everyone should partake in such loose labelling is the very antithesis of language. We give meaning to sound so we can all understand eachother. If everything is without a label how can a person discern or describe anything?

I went on a bit about sexuality but onto gender expression, it was very important historically as in a lot of importance was put on it at the time but from a modern perspective a feminine man does not immediately mean a trans woman and while I have no idea what your narrative choices are, I hope that it's not just because Arthur isn't a knuckle dragging bore in your story that he can't be a man.

To be trans, as in medically alternating sex characteristics, automatically means a rejection of your birth sex. Dress sense, hobbies and occupation has nothing to do with that hence the very real warrior women and nurturing men in both human past and present that are at peace with their birth sex.

Wall of text over, just wanted to add my opinions into the mix.

Hi, thank you for sending this in!

But even though Arthur is generally more fiction than fact anyway, I think long repeated legends of a particular figure should be respected.

I think I am respecting Arthuriana, not by making it as accurate as possible to the original legends or historically accurate (and even then, Arthuriana was born centuries after the time period it was set in, with Arthur Pendragon not being an historical figure at all). I am respecting Arthuriana by taking its characters, rewriting the story, making them relive a thousand years after the legends were set - as many authors have done before me.

I do not believe making Arthuriana as historically accurate as possible would be the only way to respect it.

We give meaning to sound so we can all understand eachother. If everything is without a label how can a person discern or describe anything?

I agree, however labels are always just a way to try to convey something that is deeply personal, and in the LGBT community more than most, it's difficult to make a definition that works on anyone - without exceptions or variations. At the end of the day, the way a person is comes first, not their label. And even then, finding the right label can sometimes take years, especially when one is assumed to be conforming to the current set standards of being.

In this case, Arthur simply would need years to explore themselves, their gender identity in all its complexity.

To be trans, as in medically alternating sex characteristics, automatically means a rejection of your birth sex.

Being trans doesn't necessarily mean medically transitioning. In Arthur's case, while being AMAB, she would simply want to be adressed by she/they pronouns, and find herself more comfortable with identifying in a feminine way. In regards to their transition, they will do whatever makes them feel more comfortable in their body.

Dress sense, hobbies and occupation has nothing to do with that hence the very real warrior women and nurturing men in both human past and present that are at peace with their birth sex.

I very much agree with that, but in Arthur's case this doesn't apply. Arthur, cis or trans, is the same person. Same personality traits, same hobbies - some that could be considered more feminine, some more masculine. They do not define them.

It's Arthur who chooses how to define themselves, in the way that feels most true to what they are.

[olderthannetfic]

Okay, I need advice: I'm in a very tiny fandom (like less than two dozen active people and everyone knows each other) and one of the women in it is kind of freaking me out.

We became mutuals because we had some good discussions on some of the characters we liked, but I soon became sort of uncomfortable with a lot of her online behavior whereas simultaneously she's DM-ing me more and more.

She's one of those people who's a hardliner on the issues she cares about (mostly feminism- and SA-related) while talking over people when it comes to issues she doesn't care about (mostly racism and related things). And I see a lot of her trying to intrusively police how other people talk/act, derailing people's posts, arguing with people online over the most stupid shit (where not even her own opinions come off as overly coherent - this week she'll argue something along the lines of "men are evil" and the next she'll argue that people are "demonizing masculinity" - I'll add for clarification that she's not a TERF and supports trans rights but boy... Does she sound like one sometimes) and then digging through people's profiles to find and publicize minor transgressions and bad takes, passive-aggressive vagueposting, and going into mental breakdowns over the most innocuous of online interactions.

TBH she scares me. As someone who suffered through toxic people getting overly attached to me, I genuinely sometimes get a physical reaction when I see her lashing out on the dash.

And she keeps initiating conversations! And sometimes I don't reply or bring the conversation to a natural closure and she keeps at it, or sends me random fics of hers to read that I don't have the heart to tell her don't interest me or whatever. And recently when she disagrees with something I reblogged she direct messages me to rant about it - with a lot of sort of indirect language because she doesn't want to offend me but I can see the intent. The last couple of times I replied politely because I cared about clearing misunderstandings on the topic but next time I'm just gonna tell her I dislike it when she does that.

I really want this person to stop interacting with me, to be honest, and all my polite hints to the effect go unnoticed. But the fandom is so small I feel awkward and uncomfortable about unfollowing or blocking her. I don't think she's too bad of a person, she just comes off as very... Mentally ill, I guess? And since I've tried to be polite so far I feel like it might come out of left field for her?

TBH I feel like something about her behavior also triggers some kind of freeze/fawn reaction inside of me that I don't often get and consequently don't know how to deal with.

So I need impartial advice because I don't see the situation clearly myself

--

To summarize, a person who is a walking red flag wants to be friends, and you can't easily ghost her because the fandom is small.

I think you have to accept that there is no low-conflict way out of this.

That's what's holding you back, right? You don't want more drama and you know it's coming. I think you already know in your heart of hearts that you need to get away from her even if it's a pain in the ass.

Step one is to stop responding to her DMs. That will probably make her reach out more, but you should keep not responding. If she escalates and attacks you over it, block her.

The more you offer reasons or try to gently hint, the more that will encourage her. I don't think that's true of everyone, but I do think it's the case here. This is both because it doesn't sound like she's good at perceiving or respecting boundaries and because she inspires a bad lack of ability to assert boundaries in you.

I agree that it's unfortunate that you can't stand up for yourself or tell her plainly when she's out of line, but since you can't and that probably won't change any time soon, you'll need to protect yourself a different way. Sometimes, we just have to avoid people who are bad for us even when it's an us problem. (And here, whoaaaa red flags, so I don't think it's just a you problem anyway.)

There are many sad, lonely, needy people in the world. Some of them are officially mentally ill in some way with a diagnosis. Some just need things they aren't currently getting. That sucks...

But it's also not your job to fix.