#THEY HAVE SUFFERED BUT ITS GONNA BE OK NOW | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jaaklops · 2 days ago

Text

so. the s2 intro sure is something huh

i was rewatching it and i found a LOT of symbolism in just the shots alone and im not good at analyzing so be warned

spoilers for s2 act 1 ahead! now you’ve been warned for that too

so first we start off with vi and jinx. vi rubs off the tattoo on her cheek or smudges something on it; she’s losing herself/her real self is buried in the grief and anger she feels after losing jinx during the battle, and now losing caitlyn. vi remains sitting, lingering in her emotions, while jinx stands up, and i read this as her standing up to be the new symbol zaun needs like sevika told her. vi, with her head down, is left behind while it focuses on jinx

new shot to ekko. he’s still. not moving. he’s off in the distance, not really involved at the time. he is standing in the other side of where jinx was,, maybe this signifies how far apart they are now??

second picture, he’s more active, he’s up front. it doesn’t seem like hes a major part right now but when things start to pick up he’s going to be involved

i honestly don’t know about this one but if you have any clue than do assist

cut to viktor. he’s in a cloak, picking up and holding a plain white mask. he’s becoming this god like figure who can heal the suffering (those who don’t show their true faces..the mask?) and he believes this is his new destiny. there’s light from above

later in the intro he is about to put on the mask/looking more closely at it. by now the light is gone, and it’s only coming from the mask. maybe he puts all his motivation into taking the suffering away from these people and that’s all he can see..and then jayce steps in.

(jayce/viktor’s arcs are still gonna be close together even though viktor leaves)

cut to ambessa. her face is covered by darkness and its overall just a bit dim. she’s holding a black rose and black petals are behind her. she makes no move to pick them up, instead leaving the mess for someone else. she planned the attack at the memorial in secret, and she gives power to caitlyn when in reality she’s the one pulling the strings.

in this she’s relaxed, and it looks suspiciously similar to a painting i’ve seen before but i DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE omg

cut to caitlyn. she’s almost entirely shrouded in darkness, with the exception of a bit of light in front of her face. she looks down, away from it, and she looks almost annoyed by it—her spiral into madness(i think we can call it that?)

her back is facing what looks like a curtain, and then she looks up, as if facing an unseen crowd, much more pulled together than what she was just a second ago. signifies her pulling herself together to lead piltover.

assuming it’s a stage though, shouldn’t she be at the front?

it’s very…very. that the shot of ambessa and this shot of caitlyn were put right next to each other ykyk

gonna be so honest i have no idea what this one could mean…very vague

intimidating shot of ambessa holding a black rose—the rose is the focus, while ambessa’s face is blurred. perhaps symbolizes piltover and how they’re in ambessa’s hands, not whoever the piltovians think is leading them. of course they don’t really know that, and they probably won’t until later in the season

MELLL ok for a while i too wondered what some of that even meant but then i was like WAIT.

in the first picture mel is surrounded by hands we only see in shadows. this is maybe to communicate the pressure mel feels from her mother and how it’s closing in on her all at once/she’s struggling to come to terms with everything thats happened, and now she has to deal with ambessa scheming and she wants to dismantle it, since she knows first hand just how ambessa is and she doesn’t want piltover to face the same fate

in the second picture, she’s breaking free from the hands around her and standing up for herself/fighting back

in the third picture she finds herself where ambessa once was. there’s much more light here, and the black rose (maybe still symbolizing piltover?) lays beside her. the black petals ambessa left behind are going away with the wind..l ambessa is defeated

cut to jinx again. she’s becoming fully realized as the new symbol of zaun, one that neither vander nor silco could be. waving the flag even though it looks just a tad too big for her

pretty self explanatory. caitvi’s arc

unless?

in the first picture it almost looks like vi’s staring into a mirror but no, they’re standing right in don’t of each other. neither vi nor caitlyn can see each other eye to eye, with both of each other’s emotions flying

they come to embrace but they almost seem to be thrown apart by an invisible force or pulled away from each other. so close to understanding each other but so far at the same time

ok now this i LOVE this one. see on another post that the second picture is a reference to macbeth and i just MWAH.

also pretty self explanatory..caitlyn’s arc

first picture, she’s spiraling absolutely losing her shit. pretty close to what we saw in act 1 except we were never showed it to this degree. a mental picture. she’s trying to pull everything together so she can be the leader she’s been appointed to be but she just can’t

second picture is said macbeth reference. also symbolic to her being blinded by her tunnel vision of revenge. she’s grieving you guys :(

third picture, her eyes are open and she’s looking at us like she knows something she didn’t before. it’s a realization and it’s definitely gonna be something surprising

—

hoo boy that was a doozy

honestly guys i do not know how to analyze well so i will say now that this sucked☠️but its been bouncing around in my head for a little so maybe someone can see this and make something wayyyy better with it

and besides its early in the season so this is probably all wrong😭

#arcane #arcane season 2 #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #jayce talis #ekko arcane #viktor arcane #ambessa medarda #mel medarda #jinx arcane #arcane s2 speculation #keyword speculation #roryposting #arcane league of legends #caitvi

32 notes · View notes

nerdydowntherabbithole · 2 years ago

Text

I GOTTA LAY DOWN SINK INTO THE DIRT AND CRY LIKE A BABY. AAUUUGGHHHH THANK U

The latest chapter of TLAI got to me alright

#TLAI Fic #Taking Life As Is #Umbilicals Severed AU #ITS THEM #DAD AND HIS BABY ARE REUNITED #THEY HAVE SUFFERED BUT ITS GONNA BE OK NOW #OHHH THEYRE SO SOFT LOOKING AS ALWAYS I AM OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING ABT HOW U DRAW #AUGH #SCREAMS AND SOBS #THEY ARE SO GOOD #SCRUNKLES UR HONOR #THANK U MEDI A BANGER AS ALWAYS

349 notes · View notes

rainingincale · 27 days ago

Text

.

#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed #liam payne #death #i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways #ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the #way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything #else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one #out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel #for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage #self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally #enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i #didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore #and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final #straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways #so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was #disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a #part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this #im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine #le text post

12 notes · View notes

carcarrot · 5 months ago

Text

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me #oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving #but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done #and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be #and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything #and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else #and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch #and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me #that i wont find an easier job than this one #well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else #by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think #which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free #and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok #i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god #but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face #and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus #anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore #but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh

7 notes · View notes

minhmynchi · 2 months ago

Text

(venting in the tags ignore this lol)

#minhmy.rambles #(i just need to shout this somewhere where my friends don't see so they don't worry too much about me)#but oh my god work just got worse for this week im already working every day but tomorrow (aka in six and a half hours)#i will start at 5am and end at 9pm aka a double shift bc my coworker tested positive and there's no one else that can work #just for tomorrow but the rest of the week ill be working 1-9 #which i hate even though im used to it night shifts are just boringgggg and takes up a lot of my time #which i already have so little of #my mom said i should clean my closet and i was going to tomorrow bc i wanted to play grandfest today but now i cant do that #bc ill literally be at work all day lol #and god its just so hard its so so hard but it could be worse. it literally could be worse #i cant be here as much anymore bc im so busy and tired i just draw when i can and drop them all here and leave #and i miss writing a lot but i have even less time and even less motivation and the more i work the more awful i feel #and i don't want to worry anyone like . i just don't #but its so difficult for me it really is #theres so many things i want to do but i cant do any of it and im so tired im literally so tired #like im not gonna end my life kinda tired i have a lot to look forward to. but work just really sucks and i am Tired #and i Like my job its literally the easiest and ill never have something like this again #but urghghghh. urggfhhghgh. death pain and suffering #if i draw more sif and loop suffering lol. this is why. i need to get the emotions out somehow and i don't want to cry over it #i cant cry bc i need to work i just have to keep my head up i just have to keep at it i just have to be strong and not break #i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse #its just. augh.#ok done. sorry i rly rly should sleep soon bc of my 16 hour shift tmrw lol its past 10:30pm already

2 notes · View notes

agayconcept · 4 months ago

Text

.

#when im extra depressed i watch old yt compilations #this week is critical role moments #and ugh. Ugh #i always forget how mf touch-starved and affection-starved i am until i watch those 8 interact w each other #like. always touching. so much touching #i havent had a cuddly / touchy friend in like 6+ years and i am Suffering for it #like as much as w any other people im v touch-averse and dont want that at all #when it comes to friends i am extremely pro touch and genuinely love being affectionate #and i Can't #and sometimes that sucks ngl #no shade to my friends who aren't comf w that obviously #that's 100% gr8 and i would never push or wanna make them uncomf lots of ppl dont like that #i just. used to always have at least 1 friend who /was/ okay with it that i could be as cuddly as i wanted with #and now i dont and it ??? is getting to a point where it is almost painful #like str8 up i've had to talk to my therapist abt this the last 6 months bc its becoming a bit dire #hugs r wonderful dont get me wrong but thats the max amount of touch for my ok-with-touch friends #and the rest r no-touch #whereas im sitting here like 😭😭😭 PLS I JUST WANNA HOLD SOMEONE'S HAND #OR LEAN MY HEAD ON SOMEONE'S SHOULDER OR HAVE AN ARM AROUND A WAIST OR A HEAD IN A LAP #OR STR8 UP SNUGGLIN ON A COUCH #I DESPERATELY NEED IT #ANY OF IT IT DOESNT NEED TO BE ALL OF THAT #I FEEL LIKE I AM SHRIVELLING UP LIKE A SENTIENT RAISIN INSIDE #JUST HAVIN ALL THE LIFE SUCKED OUT OF ME THRU LACK OF TOUCH #I WANT SOMEONE TO RUFFLE MY HAIR OR PAT MY ARM OR KISS MY CHEEK #HELL I'LL TAKE A HAND ON MY BACK PURELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF STOPPING ME FROM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC #WHICH AT THIS POINT I AM TEMPTED TO DO DUE TO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS LMAO (DEVASTATED LAUGHTER)#aiyaiyai and i cant even just go and Make New Friends bc most spaces to do that arent accessible or safe for me #the only friends i've made in the last few years r thru Mutual Autism Vibes~ and they're all anti-touch #WHERE R THE OTHER TOUCH-STARVED CUDDLY AUTISTICS AT ??? WHERE R U ??? COME FIND ME PLS I BEG !!! i feel like im gonna die fr

4 notes · View notes

therosevest · 7 months ago

Text

and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever

#not to be a sensitive little bitch except im not.#i dont want to be rude or too explicitly open about the things i dont really like to talk about #but sometimes. frankly. people need to take on the weight of their own feelings. insecurities. thoughts. etc and then some #some of us grew up with little to no emotional support and in fact took on the weight of their family's issues and the brunt of their #emotional immaturity and sometimes that makes someone feel fundamentally rattled and unsafe in moments like that #some of us had pretty much every big personal emotional. thing. that happened to them minimized and turned into some tragic #family conversation. or had someone reply like huh idk if that could have happened to you i certainly dont remember that #and then you wonder if people were ever looking out for you and if the ones that did just truly didnt care.#um. anyway. this is not just to be like oh im so quirky and different and traumatized lol but im reaching a boiling point when it comes #to people just like. doing this shit. or whatever. im going to start screaming #i shouldnt have to bare my fucking soul to you for you to go oh huh maybe this is a sensitive subject perhaps #frankly we arent the same and we dont relate and aw bummerooni ik im not the only sufferer but good god.#our lives were very different in some ways!#and sometimes all i want is for someone to say its ok kid you did good #again. not to be dramatic. but when ive talked about MY upheaval of feelings or w/e like if thats been impacting #how ive been acting and people start crying at me or get all whatever. oh it makes me wanna be the one to pass the torch #yeah man imagine how tired we are.#ok talking incoherently now so im gonna go do my job i guess.#abby talks #i know no one will save me but maybe sometimes it’d be nice to share the weight regardless

4 notes · View notes

hauntingblue · 7 months ago

Text

Strong world is the nami and luffy twins manifesto written by oda this is my one piece.

You see luffy's finishing attack with his giant hammer being fueled by lightning which is nami's main weapon with her clima tact and she even made the guy steer the islands towards the cyclone so even if the lighting isn't produced by her the lighting is provided by her either way so luffy AND her finished that guy and even luffy attacked after nami announced how he will lose which also means nami knew and trusted luffy to end him after that and of course he did and

Oh my god luffy making nami explain herself about the message he left on the tone dial and being pissed that she didn't trust him to save and protect her but he got so mad and didn't hear the whole message and she asked luffy to save her omg....... she knew after all that they will come and win..... I love this ending I am going to walk into the sea now goodbye.

Why are whitebeard and ace on the ending credits I already cried. Watching aces part again cause he looks so good. Hello alive dead wife

#the animation in this one..... hell yes.....#img little luffy i missed you!!!! robin doesnt look like herself in this one and franky doesnt have his voice 😞😞 what a disrespect in his #first movie appearance....... franky i will avenge you. your fit is hard tho. well his voice could be his va with a cold. its weird #why is brook smoking a blunt ajdhsksj and sanji tease......#the 3d is too good here.... and someone wants nami bc of her abilities instead of like well everything else.... i might accept this #sanji going insane ajdksjsk zoro what are you wearing on your head......#love the duck following nami like well a baby duck... omg i thought if the duck electrifies the animals in the water nami is fried too #and indeed he was i didnt expect it to follow logic ajdhsj nami found luffy of course #why is nami on top of luffy ajdhsjs doesnt she trust the bird to fly or what #THE BARTENDER FROM THE PIRAGE RACE MOVIE IS HERE TOO!!!!#nami getting arlong flashbacks but now worse #kinda love the crew being protective over her and not to fall into stereotypes but it goes off every time.... they got her away form arlong #nami and usopp omg...... nami once again sacrificing herself... suffered more than jesus.... also her bracelet... i didnt know that #luffy is so mad.... he gets so mad when people leave.... (he gets sad but ofc he cant be sad so next best thing)#NAMI GOT SICK FROM THE TREES!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!#they got changed and everything..... did robin tell them they had to follow the dress code and they all did?? qjsjaka luffys first cape also #luffy that was such a slay. why are they all carrying fire power. he called them a suicide squad... and well a lot of them actually #wasnt expecting this to turn into a mafia movie. surprised luffy knows how to shoot one of those.#nami isnt gonna sacrifice herself luffy said... while she rigs epxlosives in a place she cant move.... luffy she needs an intervention #oh my god. nojiko telling her to have fun.... every time i remember luffy promised gen san to keep her happy i die a little #luffy is gonna get a stroke he is so fucking mad 'nami ill beat this guy and well go back together' ok 🥺🥺#sanji understands perverted gorilla 😭😭#brook got robin instead of sanji.... sick ennies lobby reference bro #also how come franky didnt get his own movie.... like in this one franky AND brook join. confirming my theory that brook doesnt let franky #get confortable in the crew and be with them as the new one for a while bc brook joins immediately after and he doesnt get time to breathe #nami don't cry omg.... she was ready to never see them again omg #i thot nami was gonna electrocute him..... or make him eat the cyclone or smth.... well she said her peace at least #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies

5 notes · View notes

drbtinglecannon · 2 years ago

Note

I was actually wondering the other day what the local Darius Connoisseur's opinion on Darimila was. I have no strong feelings on it myself other than "yeeeaah get it Camila!!!" but I'm curious if you have thoughts

Being called a local Darius Connoisseur is such a high honor, I think of that fancy purple bitch so often haha

My feelings on darimila are actually the same! I'm not super passionate about it, but I do think it's very cute. However I mostly think it's hilarious that after Zeno made his twt handle "Hunter Noceda" a bunch of people were like "ok so here's how Dadrius & Momma Camila can both win" and then started earnestly shipping them. Hunter's dad-mentor-guy dating his-&-his-sister's-mom is extremely funny to me, but from Luz's standpoint it's even funnier because the One scene she had with Darius was him (a grown ass adult that's a CH) climbing up on top of a transport vehicle to ensure he was far away while she (a teen that was already restrained) was threatening to rampage and asking her "please try not to bite anyone". He really took one look at her and was violently reminded of Eda haha!

That said for both Camila and Darius I don't really care for any ships for either of them aside from "polycule with Raeda", and even then I think of them as casual additions. Raeda has my whole heart, but like sometimes Darius and/or Camila can be there too, as a treat. Coparents that mayhaps kiss occasionally

But yeah, given the situations with all the kids involved I don't really get into ships for any single parent but Eda, I mostly focus on all their respective familiar or platonic dynamics instead. Most of my Darius thoughts involve Eberwolf also being there, like Lilith & Hooty "bonded pair do not separate" energy, the hot mess witch needs their weird beast bestie next to them at all times.

I doubt the last special will give any moments for my opinion to change, but we also haven't gotten to see Camila meet any of the BI adults yet. Which I'm so excited for! She deserves to make some genuine friends, and god knows each of the BI adults could use another friend too haha

#asks #answered #thanks for asking local huntlow connoisseur! but yeah unpopular opinion here i dont really vibe w darius ships & camilas been a widow for #a few years but doesnt really get me the impression shes over manny or interested in dating atm. i do also really love camila x manny #& love seeing stuff about them #i firmly hc darius as ace but i have multiple hcs for his romantic inclinations. like aroace solidarity lilith & darius suffering through #hs w mutual pining idiots raeda & then subsequently drifting apart in adulthood despite working closely together bc of differences in #ideals but lilith didnt realize why until she finally defected' is a classic one for me. its also very specific lmao #me: dariraeda good. also me: darius lilith aroace solidarity. hcs that contradict each other? its more likely than you think!#ok im gonna stop now but tldr darimila cute but i dont actively seek it out

14 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

Text

...

#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose #very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body #so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with #energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we #can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like #losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my #ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things #less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out #but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional #range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes #so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like #oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to #understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have #to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make #me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain #fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like #lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes #me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs #will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u #plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im #trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying #to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me #more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something #how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at #first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into #academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u #gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer #then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement #well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw #unrelated

3 notes · View notes

tittysuckersworld · 13 days ago

Text

vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-

#ok so. to preface this for anyone with depression going past this point. im not gonna be nice. this isnt about you #this isnt about you in particular or how your secretly constantly a burden to everyone you love or how you just cant get it right #its not about having to deal with a person with depression but more how the social climate has made it so its so hard to deal with every #thing. thats all. if you read more do not blame me for feeling bad.#that was your only and last warning #okay so! now that hopefully all my homies with depression out there are ok- it is hard being surrounded by people with depression #sorry like. i am the only one in my imediate family without depression. and its. its hard a lot #like i care so much about these people and yet i cant help them because their either sad or tired or angry or numb most of the time #and i cant do anything. i cant do anything at all. and thats fucked!!!!! i think. sorry i am not one for curing mental illness but i really #really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok #i dont want to constantly worry in the back of my head if what ill say next will lead them to going quiet and sad #or worry about how a few too many wrong moves and a hard time could push them off the edge. i know it wont happen.#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate #and i care for them so much and i just wish they could feel happy most of the time. just more than half is enough. more than half #gosh its gotten to the point a sertain tone of voice or someone saying their tired can make me feel bad #like bad enough i need to leave the room and go cry. everyone is alwase tired and i dont know what to do #i feel like a little kid being so sensitive by others emotions- but i cant help it. i cant help it when im surrounded #again this isnt a bash against anyone with depression. this is a bash against depression because of all the pain its given my loved ones #if i could fight depression as a just. thing i would mawl it alive. tooth and nail til all that was left was either bones. cartalige.#blood and flesh that hadent somehow made it into my stomach. and id keep it alive for a long as i could as i killed it #it would suffer 10 times the amount its made others suffer if i could. i can be a cruel bitch and i will if i ever got the chance.#and u h ya! sorry lil bit of silly moment i am just. sick of the tired. if i could id honestly never hear the phrase im tired again

1 note · View note

phagodyke · 1 month ago

Text

every time I open the blinds of my bedroom window these last few days I've had this really weird feeling that something is wrong with the view and I've just realised now that the scaffolding which was up outside since we moved in (15 months ago) has FINALLY been taken down. put it backk the buildings naked 😭

#its so surreal to me why isnt it there #they had it on one side for 6 months and then random changed it to the other side for another 9 and now its just GONE. wild #anyway... woke up w a fever at 5am which took a few hours to break. which i was expecting bc i got vaccinated yesterday #but still disrupted my sleep a lot so im a bit shattered this morning but thats ok im taking it easy <3 #gonna polish my boots n write my shopping list n sort a card/package for my friend and then ill post it omw to food shop #and if i can do a round of laundry this afternoon once my roomies is done then thats basically all my essential chores done. and vacuum #oh and pick up my meds thjs morning too. and then im gonna paint my nails and play animal well and maybe watch another movey #me n a friend watched alien factor last night n need to work thru all the don dohlers now. 70s sci fi schlock my beloved MWAH #andddd im still sitting on my blue velvet review for letterboxd i just need to cut it down and make it coherent i have SO much to say #ive been feeling really okay lately. like at times id go so far as to say im happy. many things im content with in life rn #that might sound like a silly thing to say but i was chronically depressed for a solid decade. so this is kind of new for me still #i have bad moments and bad days ofc but they pass so much faster and easier. and there will always be things i want to work on #but i have a corner of peace now and thats so so important to me. trying my best to centre around it lets keep this flowing!#ok sap aside im gonna watch more true detective while i do my boots... even when im not suffering ill always love a grimdark drama hehe #.diaries

1 note · View note

coridallasmultipass · 2 months ago

Text

.

#ughh tfw i cant remember if i did or didnt take meds literally 2 seconds ago #i usually pull out every bottle i need and put them back as i take them so i dont lose track #(or turn them upside down but only for my sleeping meds which have a table. regular meds are in a bag bc its too many to line up)#but just now i was distracted and idk if i took it bc i was pulling them one at a time #i gotta come up with some other system of checking when ive taken them this shit is frustrating #my cup water level is not telling me the answer bc i just chugged a bunch a minute ago (ive used this method in the past tho)#hfffffff #i think im just gonna take it. or. yknow what split the difference ill take half the dose (one pill instead of two)#((its not at a dangerous dose if i do accidentally take 3. and i wont suffer noticable consequences if i take a half dose))#i hate doing this tho bc then i end up with an odd number of pills left in the bottle #meaning i gotta take the last pill from this bottle and then only one pill from a new bottle #oh actually nvm theres 7 pills in there (see i do this compromise often enough lmao)#so ok one pill works out then #meds taken i just gotta remember to take my sleeping meds in a few just ugh #i hate how stress and pain have really worn me down over the past months #vent #personal #delete later / /#Cori.exe #Post.exe

0 notes

agayconcept · 2 months ago

Text

.

#i rly need someone to tell me its ok not to meet my nutritional goals for the day and just put some food any food in my body #bc i know that deep down #but my mf autistic brain is like 'but!!! u didnt meet all ur dietary requirements!! so u need to fix that asap!!#except all that food is gross rn! so u shall suffer and starve instead!!'#like. bish no. i need to put sustenance in my body. now #and yet. i cannot make myself #why do i always need like. Permission to do that (ik why. The Disorders™.)#ughshsjsksk #@ my brain: LET ME EAT !! SOMETHING ANYTHING !! B4 MY BLOOD SUGAR DROPS TOO LOW AND I HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY #fml #i just. get weird guilt when i eat something that ik isnt ideal for my health and dietary needs #which is dumb bc any food is better than no food #i know this. i know it. and yeT #aghdgshsj #save me #ask to tag #disordered eating #not totally but its part of the reason so im gonna tag it to be safe

0 notes

dynamicks · 1 year ago

Text

having responsibilities with adhd really is just having the dread of the tasks consume your entire mind body and spirit just so you eventually end up doing it. because if you dont let it do that, you wont do it. its too much. its no wonder i was depressed and didnt find life worth living when i was in school. to do anything i had to be miserable all the time. life ceases to become about just life. it just becomes about "not failing," "not getting a bad grade," having all your thoughts and emotions surround the things that dont make you happy. even when you try to distract yourself with other things in life, the dread is still there if there's still something to be done (it never ends in school). your entire life ceases to become just life, it becomes all about dreaded tasks. the simple things dont make you feel relief or gratefulness anymore. the stress and dread taints it all. things that make you happy just dont have the same effect because youre so wrapped up in the misery. the only way to do anything with adhd: misery.

#i need to wait a month to get evaluated....#its ok i made it all these years i can take a month #dynamicks #if i prioritized being sane when i was in school. i wouldnt have the great grades i do now.#yeah sure “everyone” suffers and “wants to die” in school. but everyone just kept fucking going.#i was legitimately falling behind and neglecting other aspects in school that others were just doing like no problem #they move on quickly. meanwhile i legitimately could not fucking move on quickly with shit.#now theyre all in grad school. and im 3 years behind them #i havent been studying hard for GRE like im supposed to be and its happening in mere days #it costs so much fucking money but i dont want to feel miserable anymore #i dont want to make the dread of that test destroy me mentally like school has for years #i think im just gonna let myself take the fucking L on that. even if it costs a fuckton of money. i want to protect myself now.#i went through too much.

0 notes

sunrizef1 · 2 months ago

Text

Bed Chem

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader

Warnings: None

Authors Note: Im working lateeee cuz I'm too busy pretending Logan has a seatttt | this took so long actually wtf

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Paris, France

liked by iamrebeccad carlossainz55 and 12,888,999 others

yourusername what a show @givenchy

load comments…

user1 mother

user2 my queen

user3 prettyyyyyyyyyyy

user4 🤭

iamrebeccad my fav girl 💋

liked by yourusername

user5 hot

user6 ❤️❤️

user7 I'm in love

user8 the sheer is giving

user9 I love you pls reply 😭

user10 my favvvvvvv I love HERRRRRR

user11 NEW MUSIC PLEASE BAE

carlosainz55 do you know your dress is see-through 😓

yourusername its givenchy!

user12 I need that dress 😭

user13 Y/N WHATS YOUR OPINION ON LOGAN SARGEANT

theweeknd 🔥

liked by yourusername

user14 MY pop icon

——

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

iamrebeccad

🫶

yourusername

ilyyyy 💋

——

carlossainz55

y do u insist on calling me father so much

yourusername

Mama y papa

carlossainz55

what

yourusername

Papa y mama

carlossainz55

Okay

——

MESSAGES

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

NEW MUSIC???????

——

user2

IS THAT JACK????

——

iamrebeccad

Wait!!! What!!!

Can I hear it 🤭

yourusername

Ofc love 🤞

iamrebeccad

Is it about a certain American….

yourusername

Ahhh

Can't say 😶

iamrebeccad

That's a yes to me

——

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

ARE YOU GOING TO THE RACE QUEEN

——

user2

Logan????

——

carlossainz55

Are you finally coming to a race???

yourusername

I have to be in Paris Sunday for a shoot 🫣

But I will be there the other days

But secretly

So don't tell anyone 😶

carlossainz55

Your secrets safe with me 🤐

——

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎵Paris - Taylor Swift

liked by logansargeant carlossainz55 and 12,999,888 others

yourusername je pense que vous souffrez d'un manque de vitamine moi

load comments…

user15 oui oui oui baguette

user16 viva la France

user17 someone call char lechair

user18 I thought she was gonna be at the race 😓

user19 BESTIE YOUR BOYFRIEND FINISHED 8TH DID YOU SEE

liked by yourusername

user19 SHE LIKED THIS COMMENTTTT

user20 “I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me” lmfao the caption

user21 wait what does the paper say????

user22 “I'm so fucking sick of having to hide how deeply I feel and how passionately I love you”

user21 WAIT THATS ADORABLEEEE

user23 my francophile queen

user24 I didn't know the Eiffel tower was so small

user25 this is so aesthetic core

user26 the yellow Parisian lighting really makes it

user27 I can name a certain American who's probably suffering from a lack of you

oscarpiastri oui

yourusername ok

user28 Oscar and y/n: my fav deadpan icons

user29 ooh la la huh huh huh 🥐

user30 are you happy to be in Paris?

yourusername oui

user31 y/n whats your favourite part of Paris

yourusername smells of piss. Constantly.

user32 pretty pretty pretty girl

logansargeant 🇫🇷🥐

liked by yourusername

user33 THE SONG FOR THE POST BEING PARIS BY TAYLOR???? IM SO IN LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING DREW A MAP ON YOUR BEDROOM CEILING???? She's in love!!!!!

——

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

LOGAN??????

——

user2

boyfriend spotted

——

user3

Soft launch?????

——

user4

don't be shy

Post him on the feed

——

carlossainz55

you're welcome

I was the messenger

I did this

——

yourusername

liked by logansargeant maxverstappen1 and 15,999,800 others

yourusername surprise! My new single “bed chem” is out now… come sleep with me 💋🛏️

load comments…

user34 WOOOOOO

user35 its so good 😭🫶😭😭🫶

user36 LOGANNNNNNNNN

user37 no tag????

user38 the first verse just being the most thinly veiled reference to the givenchy show… like girl 😭

user39 “I was in a sheer dress the day that we met” we've all seen the black dress 🤭

user40 “we were both in a rush we talked for a sec” that one video of them lmfao

user41 “your friend hit me up so we could connect” I say that's Oscar.

user42 Ive chosen to believe its Alex

user43 THIS SONGS ABOUT LOGAN?????

user44 “manifest that you're oversized” I'm going to pretend this isn't about Logan so I still see him again

oscarpiastri a lot of words I don't want to hear about my friend btw

yourusername well… idc

user45 who's the cute guy with the wide blue eyes? 😍

carlossainz55 ive finally made it into a song

liked by yourusername

user46 ok wait but the Paris pic is so cute 😭

user47 those messages are so funny 😭

user48 he only has eyes for his girl 🤭

iamrebeccad SO GOODDDDDD

yourusername 🫶

user49 I sense logie bear

user50 Logan Sargeant hard launch on the feed

logansargeant 🔥

yourusername 💋

——

logansargeant added to their story

yourusername

Ily lo 💋💋💋💋

logansargeant

🤭🫶

——

Taglist:

@c-losur3 @llando4norris @lokideservesahug @casperlikej @evie-119 @awritingtree

1K notes · View notes