#if i prioritized being sane when i was in school. i wouldnt have the great grades i do now.

[dynamicks]

having responsibilities with adhd really is just having the dread of the tasks consume your entire mind body and spirit just so you eventually end up doing it. because if you dont let it do that, you wont do it. its too much. its no wonder i was depressed and didnt find life worth living when i was in school. to do anything i had to be miserable all the time. life ceases to become about just life. it just becomes about "not failing," "not getting a bad grade," having all your thoughts and emotions surround the things that dont make you happy. even when you try to distract yourself with other things in life, the dread is still there if there's still something to be done (it never ends in school). your entire life ceases to become just life, it becomes all about dreaded tasks. the simple things dont make you feel relief or gratefulness anymore. the stress and dread taints it all. things that make you happy just dont have the same effect because youre so wrapped up in the misery. the only way to do anything with adhd: misery.