#THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY CAUSE IM PROUD OF THIS
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Bonus points to whoever recognizes what @askcupsandcasinos AMV these are based off of hehehe
original screenshots under cut!
The original animation was created by @brightgoat and is linked here!
#My art#fanart#cddwtd#cddwtd mugman#cddwtd cuphead#cuphead#mugman#casino cups#pretty proud of these tbh#I felt so unmotivated for a while and was watching a bunch of cool animations on YouTube and came across this again#I rember stumbling across brightgoats YouTube channel after finding casino cups and I didn’t know they were the creator#And then I watched this AMV and was like HOLY SHIT#been a brightgoat stan ever since#OH MY GOD ITS OVER 1K NOTES NOW??#THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY CAUSE IM PROUD OF THIS
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You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)
In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!
Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)
[text under cut]
1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined
2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both
3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer：I just wanted to see him one more time).
4. Define two (2)： Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore
5. True or False： i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.
thumbnails:
sketch cover thing for imgur link:
#team ranchers#team rancher#rancher duo#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#trafficshipping#mcyt recursive exchange#events#fic fanart#my art#“canary has butterfly-shaped wings it cant do a dramatic spread like that” watch me. (draws dramatic wings) (sorry)#“you have 90 minutes” have been rattling in my brain for so long ever since i suddenly remembering a web weave using it (yes the beeduo one#very glad i can release it (using it in art) from its confines (my mind)#hm i suppose the title would be more in theme if its abt limited life ranchers#← havnt watched limlife yet#but! happy with what i come up with. lil bit proud even#had so much trouble with the panelling and layers in p2 cause it looks too busy (explodes)#also punching the floor bc i only noticed the “yes-no” pair(?) in the original poem when im already half-done w/ the comic#me when making silly comic makes you do poem analysis#i dont even go there ← does not have enough poetic braincells
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I WANT ENDLESS BLISS!!!
HALF-AWAKE, HALF-DEAD, HALF-LIFE CRISIS
ALL NATURAL POMEGRANATE PULP.
FERMENTED TO PERFECTION, SAVOUR YOUR SAVIOR.
Q: What's your favourite food? A: THE ALE THEY SERVE AT THE TAVERN!
other versions : )
#uhhhh happy pride month have a fucked up chilchuck that im really proud of#i took so long on that hair rendering just so i could cover it up with the stars...#this was a reaaaally experimental one#if i had another go at this id change a lot of things but sometimes you gotta know when to stop#ive learned my lesson from this one so ill do another one with my knowledge now ykyk#ive discovered i reaaaallly reaaaaaally like thin lines#still figuring out how rendering + painting works but hey it was a nice attempt!!#this is my first finished peice in a looongggg loooooongggg time and it makes me really happy how well it came out#i guess switching things up really helped with things.. i usually get stuck at flat colors because i get so bored#cw alcohol#cw alcoholism#eyestrain#<- maybe? its really saturated#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#by the way i always thought him saying “ale” as an answer to “favourite food” was odd#maybe its a translation thing where theres a japanese wprd that covers both food and drink and the translator just estimated it to “food”?#cause if its not... sir??? chilchuck thats not a food... my man... you have a problem...#this is#[ tragedy au ]#but honestly you could take it as set in canon#by the way do you like my little poem : ) im pspspsps-ing at the dungeon meshi fandom/fandom in general to write more poetry/short lit#maybe ill tweek it and post the poem on ao3.... shrug !
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I’ve officially memorised all the longforms!! :D
I sometimes mess up the order on “The Hare Who Wore A Sweater” and “Once Upon A Time I killed Mum” (accidentally swapping them) and “The Prime Minister’s First Day” and “The Ingredients” (also with accidentally swapping them) but other than that I’ve got the order right!!!
#I’m actually so happy and proud of it lol#(like it’s absolutely obviously not something everyone needs to memorise let me make that clear lol)#(Like im not saying that people should)#(Just that I have for fun lol)#Whenever I’m having a Bad Time I recite them in my head and it helps a lot#I also have a piece of paper with all of them written down in order (but I do need to update it) but i don’t always have that with me#Which is one of the main reasons I memorised them :D#it was very hard to do cause of my bad memory and dyscalculia#but I DID IT#:)))#shoot from the hip#:P
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Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!
#my characters#deacon gets mocked for being weird by every other deity but her and ymber (though he does think hes a TAD weird)#and ananza is like NOPE THATS MY LIL BOY !!! I LOVE HIM! and after deacon and ymber leave from their visit#she gets all huffy with fulj because YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT DEACON SO MUCH ??? my sweet lil angel?#and fulj just what - hey wait - did we meet the same person? sweet lil angel?#also for if you care cause i definitely do#ananza is like hmmmm since thats my son now i HAVE to give him something but .... ymber is so protective....#and then she is like OH YEAH ! ohime said deacon recognized my dance !#then she is like deacon please come dance with me i formally request a dance come here away from him please here hey#and since deacon is a nice guy hes like ok but i cant really dance well and shes just noooo worries!#and then as they dance she slowly gets him away from ymber and after they are at a decent distance she just#takes his hands in hers and then FWOOSH there's a bunch of wind and deacon is left speechless like ??? what was that?#and so then she is so proud to say that while ymber placed a very PASSIONATE blessing on him she did no such thing!#it is a simple blessing for him since hes like a son to her and hey it might not make you immune to stuff like drowning#but if you are ever in combat which i hope you arent then you will be super duper agile and quiet#and so hes like oh thats pretty cool actually! hey wait what did you mean by passionate hey what#but then the super light footsteps actually are not simply for combat and now hes just a very tall quiet guy#and since he cant remember faces if he sneaks up on someone and they say AGAIN? HOW ARE YOU SO QUIET? hes just#im sorry i didnt mean.... to.... do that.... again.............. (whomst is this and how many times did i spook them)#and ymber is just really happy that thank goodness his blessing and ward act as a GPS and so at least HE knows when deacon is nearby#and fulj is like i hate him even more now did you know he nearly gave me a heart attack like two hours ago ??? this is a crime against me#anyway ananza and deacon are just cute together and hes her precious lil son!
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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hey guys have u guys heard abt the darkness that’s on the edge of town……..
#TN ILL BE ON THAT HILL CAUSE I CANT STOP ILL BE ON THAT HILL W EVERYTHING I GOT LIVES ON THE LINE WHERE DREAMS ARE FOUND AND LOST ILL BE#THERE ON TIME AND ILL PAY THE COST FOR WANTING THINGS THAT CAN ONLG BE FOUND IN THE DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#hai tumblr it’s been so long……….#moved so far away to a new college and it has been so wonderful and beautiful and perfect yayyyyyyyy :D ^_^#i got an awesome internship and i’ve been making friends and taking sick urban studies class and i’m so happy and proud of myself ehehehe!!!#I AM SO WOERIED IM GONNA FAIL ALL OF MY CLASS ACTUALKY THO LOL#and my adderall has been iffy or my tolerance is fucked or SOMETHING BUT ITS OKAY ITS OKAY THERES A DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN#bruce is playing near me in like a month and i wanna go SOOOO BADDDDDD i saw him last february it was MAGICAL#TIL SOMEDAY THEY CUT IT LOOSE CUT IT LOOSE OR LET IT DRAG EM DOWN WHERE NO ONE ASKS ANY QUESTIONS OR LOOKS TOO LONG IN UR FACE IN THE DARKNE#SS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️#em.txt#bruce springsteen
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Unbeknownst to my friend they've opened the floodgates by giving me explicit permission to ask for/give hugs whenever I want cause now every time I visit them I'm gonna want one
#I asked for a hug for the first time ever when I visited last and it felt so good#like. what the fuck do you mean I could've had this the whole time. are you fucking serious??#gone are the months of touch starvation#as long as I can visit while their partner isn't home I get to have hugs on a regular basis now I'm over the moon#I'm unbelievably salty that I have to get plain ass hugs from my friend in ''secret'' because their partner has monogamy brain rot#but whatever man I'll take what I can get I'm not gonna complain#cause they make me so unbelievably happy 🥰 I'm still riding the high of the last one it's wild#proud of me for doing the big scary task of asking ''can I have a hug'' there's no reason why that should feel like such a Huge deal for me#im gonna train that fear outta myself tho im determined to#he's gonna be surprised at how affectionate I am now that I'm allowed to show it this way#I've been painfully stoic and reserved on this front my whole life and I hate it#so I'm changing it. I'm gonna be sickeningly sweet and I'm so excited about it#simi speaks
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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video games....
#mine#i love my steam deck sooooooooo much im so happy i can actually play games again like a big proper library of them#and everything#everything on steam AND emulators is available to me. do you know how many games that is!#i started a new beegee3 playthrough on the HARDEST DIFFICULTY (!) today. which is also a single-save difficulty#and im in one of the most difficult parts of the game right now (level 4) and kind of nervous lol#but at the same time im really proud of myself for learning the game to the point i feel comfortable challenging myself in it#and im happy i get to at all :D i love you video games#and sooner or later ill come back to stardew valley cause there was that big update and i have some games on my wishlist too#and its not verified yet but i might play that pomeranian making the house dirty game cause it looked cute#oh and yakuza also because my friend got two of the yakuzas for me#YAYYYYY GAMES#also kind of sad though because tomorrow i pack and sunday i go back for babys last quarter of college#and im worried about how busy its going to be with classes and job apps and then of course actually graduating#and moving out and haivng a job and stuff#when all i want is to enjoy being able to play video games again.... sig#sigh*#WHATEVER...future mes problem#oh i almost forgot...one of the best parts of the deck imo is the versatility because with games like beegee3#you can play it in controller mode which has its pros and cons but you can also swap to computer mode#which also has its pros and cons so like. i can adjust as needed#when im just exploring or trying to loot an area etc i go controller#but when im in combat i go computer because the hotbar is REALLY helpful for decision making#its really nice to have the option to choose since no console players have that it seems#and the only pc players who can do that are the ones who have and are willing to connect controllers#and most of them dont seem to be into that#but im really glad to be able to do both#ok done yapping now
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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im tired
im just so unbelievably
unbearably
tired
#someone please be proud of me fuck#im doing uni while extremely mentally ill suicidal every day with an unstable home i dont feel safe in and no support system#im trying so hard and all i want to do is give up. ive wanted to give up for years. the only reason i havent is because i dont have the#option. i think that if i try again i'll mess up and end up in the hospital and that will make everything somehow collossaly worse#i get so little happiness from anything#what a pathetic fucking life i lead. i should just die. god i hate myself#im so far beyond the point of depression i dont self harm like 90% of the time i think to cause what even is the point#no one will see it wont make anyone care i have no one who cares who it will distress#it only stresses ME out cause then thats one more thing on my plate and i cant be assed#i was so ready to go to bed like 3 hours ago and now im wide awake#theres more to this that i cant bring myself to type out#im going to play zelda#because its all i ever do#adventures
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Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal
Demons Curse
—
WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this
i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!
...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD
can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH
additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.
and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?
speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH
anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly
#ARE YOU HAPPY... IM SO SAD. THIS FUCKED ME UP#I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE#i was originally gonna do chilaios/whole party angst but then i was like “wait. marcille.” and got so fucked up about it that i had to do i#AJ. GRIPS YOUR SHOULDERS. WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO SAY SOMETHING SO CRUEL TO ME.... (<- silly)#but no yeah frankly i was really (pleasantly!) surprised to see this ask#anyways as someone who is both scared of death and scared of immortality i had many thoughts about this#thank you! i will be haunted by this forever#marcille#marcille donato#laios#laios touden#dungeon meshi#<- tagging just cause i need to hit people with psychic damage#im proud of this one! it looks pretty even though i struggled with the anatomy#big shout outs to that hand me my shovel im going in animatic by the way. crazy. i love it so much#dungeon meshi spoilers#I FORGOT TO ADD THAT
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I love making aro characters as an aro person cause it's just self inflicted relief after spending so much time seeing the weak alloro aro hcs as the "nothing" option for a characters romantic orientation to just remember that aro characters can in fact be written to be complex and interesting characters and their aromanticism can be incredibly meaningful to their character and story even if it's not a point of conflict
#rat rambles#just me thinking abt my aro ocs and going oghhhhh ahgghdjdgkfjndjdh#idk I just like that reminder that being aro is a thing I can be proud of. and that I am proud of#also cause god Im so starved of well written aro characters I could name like One#and its riz and thats still pretty surface level stuff#dont get me wrong that made me super emotional and happy and it meant A Lot to me to actually see an aro character like that#but it makes me long for more at the same time. idk I just want more varied aro stories in the world and more aro stories in general#anyways shout out to my stinky aro incel man who I am too attached too for my own good tkfndjd#smth smth guys with abandonment issues who believe that romance is the only thing that ppl care abt and as such romantic relationships are#the only thing ppl want to keep you around for excetera excetera#so when his ex/bestie got a new boyfriend he immediately freaked out a bit abt being potentially abandoned#which wasnt helped by how fast the two moved and by them going missing soon after#and he has a lot of shit goiny on that I wont go ibto rn cause Im tired gjxjdndh#oc posting
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[Image description: Two images, the first a collage of three drawings of my D&D character Saube (she/they) and the second a collage of two drawings of Saube's sister Vere (she/her), the collage meant to show a progression of my art. The collage of Saube shows two old pieces, both with black line art, and a more recent piece, which is lineless. The older images shows simple drawings of Saube in a static pose on a solid background, while the newer image is more dynamic, but still with a solid background. Like the comparison of the images of Saube, the drawings of Vere compare my lined and lineless styles, with a more dynamic pose in the more recent piece. End description.]
Links to original pieces (with more detailed IDs):
Saube: Old/(never posted 2)/Recent
Vere: Old/Recent
I've been doing a bit of a personal retrospective on my art journey recently and it's amazing seeing how much my art has improved and changed over a few years. I'm so proud of myself for sticking with this hobby bc it's something that makes me really happy but it's also really hard and I could have very easily just given up long ago. But I didn't! And now yall get to see my be obnoxious about my OCs <3 lmao
#Eli's Art#Eli Speaks#Saube#Vere#i just wanted to share this cause it made me happy#i was so proud of myself for making those old pieces#and i still am!!#im proud of the improvements ive made but i also still cherish all those old pieces#that helped me to get to where i am!!#im just bein gushy lol
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Did another redraw but this time with the actual first piece of Homestuck fanart I ever drew.
#homestuck#karkat vantas#cicadart#its pretty fun doing this#its the opposite though with my eridan one#where I was unhappy with the first 2012 attempt but very happy with my redo#I was so proud of this one but Im meh about the redo#karkat was always hard for me to draw tho#especially cause I liked to do the blood hue to the skin and that's hard to make it subtle esp since he does make an effort to hide it#i always hc'd he did body paint lol#i also didnt have as much to fiddle with like with eridan#karkats design is very basic but lovely
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