#THAT IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO EVER DO | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itsahotminuteinbetween · 1 year ago

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could animatic ideas STOP HAUNTING MY DREAMS FOR ONE FUCKING NIGHT PLEASE

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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago

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personal happiness or what the fuck ever

bonus:

#xmen #xmen comics #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #professor x #magneto #jeans here too but ssh #snap sketches #i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i #so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic #i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now #which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again #LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me #maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw #anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone #i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE

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starry-bi-sky · 3 months ago

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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

#mxtx svsss #svsss au #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #disciple shen yuan #scum villain #svsss #*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival #and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst #he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna #see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i #*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM #i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways #so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt #revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about #demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he #couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss #this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on #his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]

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oh-no-its-bird · 4 months ago

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Started doing smthn, got bored like 2/10ths of the way in, decided to maybe not do it. Take what I did manage to do before getting bored as an apology

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sweeneydino · 8 months ago

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Spikeangelo, Reference sheet... again, I think

Yes, this is a hint...maybe

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aroaceleovaldez · 6 months ago

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they cast a 28 year old for Tyson 💀

[relevant rants: here and here]

yeah, i saw - i wasn't holding onto hope of them casting a disabled actor for Tyson (still disappointed, just not surprised) but casting a 28 year old for a middle schooler is really out of left field. It's just an odd choice? Particularly given how much they've been emphasizing age-accurate casting so far.

It makes me really wonder what major rewrites they have planned for Tyson's character. Because as things stand currently there's no way to make Tyson's existing character work with this casting. Tyson is supposed to be in Percy's grade, but Daniel Diemer sticks out like a sore thumb against the child actors. Tyson being in Percy's grade is pretty important for the entire arc of Sea of Monsters with the main character arc being Percy combating internalized ableism and establishing him as a character who stands up for other marginalized kids. If they remove that, what's Percy's arc going to be for that entire season? At what point are they going to establish that about his character? Or are they just going to exposition it at us like usual with nothing backing it up and no actual character progression? And in later seasons the age gap is only going to be more prominent - like how is Tyson going to work in BoTL or TLO? Are they planning on removing his character entirely for those scenes? Are they going to remove him as a recurring character in general? It'd be really weird if they killed him off or something.

I'm also afraid for if they do try to keep Tyson's disability coding in some form - cause there's kind of no good way it can go at this point. Either they completely erase Tyson's coding because they cast an abled actor for him and that messes up the entire arc of the book and his character particularly in relation to Percy, or they have an abled actor attempt to portray a character heavily coded as having down syndrome (and i believe they're already doing similar with iirc Chiron's actor is abled but they're doubling-down in the show on Chiron being disabled) and given how they've written the neurodivergence themes (or absence there of) in the show so far there's just no way that'd end well. Like, Tyson's characterization is a little questionable to begin with in the books, but given the show's writing so far it just feels like we're very rapidly ramping up for an extremely ableist characterization of Tyson. Like i'm sure Daniel Diemer is a great actor, but... i'm just getting real tired of the show erasing the entire premise of the series :T

anyways as per my initial post about pjo tv tyson casting theories i guess it's time for me to start tearing stuff apart with my teeth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#pjo #riordanverse #pjo tv #pjo tv crit #tyson pjo #Anonymous #ask #sorry to play debbie downer i just would really like the Disability Series to. yknow. keep the Disability part in it.#the show has kind of already had subtle problems in the casting with stuff like a lack of plus-sized actors for plus-sized characters #and again with like Chiron casting abled actors for disabled characters. im glad they did it for Hephaestus #and im VERY happy about Hephaestus' casting. but he seems to be the only time they've actually done that in the casting so far #im not even sure if any of the demigod actors are adhd/dyslexic? i havent heard anything about it #like its not uncommon so i wouldnt be surprised if they are but i would think we would have heard about that by now if so #deepest sigh. i think the most annoying part is the series has so much potential to be really good!#like most of the casting would be the best thing ever if only the script was actually decent #i mean im not surprised if disney is afraid to cast more than one disabled actor or any plus-sized actors for major roles #cause it's disney. of course they'd be like that. which just kind of continues my point of - if youre gonna adapt a franchise #you should really be aware of like. the major details about it and the characters. before you dive head first into it and go #''oh whoops! no we cant do any of that because we dont want to. guess we'll just Change Everything or blatantly ignore it.''

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sensei-twinkles · 5 months ago

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Dadmight Day One: Quirk Training

DADMIGHT WEEK IS HERE AND IM ON TIME OKAY DONT LOOK AT ME! Also uhh time to out myself, I love them and would die for them, that is all I need to say 👋

Thanks for hosting @dadmightweek 🥺💕

#dadmight #dadmightweek #dadmightweek2024 #I definitely won’t be able to do full pieces so sketches that are cleaned up is all you get #BUT GOD #IM GONNA BRING SOMETHING #FOR THEM #BECAUSE THATS THE DUO EVER FR #izuku midoriya #deku #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #all might #my hero academia #mha #mha fanart #boku no hero academia #bnha

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deep-space-lines · 6 days ago

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can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever

#i just want art to be able to be a hobby again aaaaa #i can talk about it here bc nobody who's commissioning me knows this is my blog. ive gotten like 2 commissions off tumblr ever lmfao #and tbh i am tired of pretending to be enthusiastic about drawing other peoples ocs. im so tired of customer service voice #im not gonna lie most of the time i do not care about your blorbo. i'm glad you're having fun im happy for u but i just need money #im happy you like my art enough to pay for it but im so TIRED #being self employed sucks like yeah i can choose my own hours but im also always thinking 'i could be working now' and i HATE IT #i don't wanna make it sound like i'm gonna starve or anything I can ask my parents for money if i really need to #im not like in genuine poverty or the biggest victim of capitalism here i just have a family that's deeply unpleasant to interact with #but im starting a half-time job at the university physics department at the end of the month and that'll be enough to cover Being Alive!!!#and will also hopefully be something i am genuinely interested in & enjoy with people who seem relatively cool #(they're gonna let me into the machine shop!! im gonna get to build things!! they were genuinely interested in my robotics experience!!)#so once art stops being the Thing Temporarily Feeding Me i'm hoping i'll be able to draw more fun stuff again. & maybe even enjoy comms #it's somehow easier to be enthusiastic about commissions when i know the money will be going to buy a Cool Sword instead of food

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motoriks · 19 hours ago

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To volve

Aka My horrid amalgamation of different scenes from batgirl 2000 for @casscainweek day 4 (quotes|panels) :)

#ooohhh cass shes so cool characters when they have a chatarcter arc augh #casscainweek2025 #cass cain #cassandra cain #dc #and for anyone curious what panels/quotes im loosely referncing its all from batgirl 2000 like i said. purple hoodie is the am i volving?#scene my beloved #foreground cass is from when she tells whats his face that you can change #and background cass is her before her death match with shiva saying and then il die #because i am insane about all of that and more #cass is so cool guys for real she is in my brain #duuudeee women when they go thinking perfection for a year is worth death rather than being meidorce and girls when they are filled with #dread that nothing they will do will forgive them from their sins but maybe you can change or you must be able to change because otherwise #she might as well kill herself and girls when they realise they have come far from that horrible place she was and that she is in motion an #and really she can change she is changing and if she can change so can everyone and maybe everyone can change and volve becauuse we are in #motion and im gonna throw up #and then her city blows up and whats even the point duudeeeee #shes just in a better place by the end cradeling my head duudeeeee #most fucked up woman ever filled with so much hope or is it hope who fucking knows maybe its just guilt i dunno but like she gets betterdud #ahem #yes #wohoo cass week. sadly dont have time for more art tho ://#also casscainweek mods hope its ok to tag ypu guys? makes it easier for people to find your blog so i hope you dont mind :)

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lynn-tged-posting · 4 days ago

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tged webtoon ep 176 spoilers except its mostly me having a great time bc the panels this week were incredibly fun YAY and thoughts below the cut

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oh my god these motherfuckers are up to their scheme again. LMFAOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT THEM HAHAHAHAHAHA

IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY THAT THEY'VE MASTERED THIS ROUTINE. THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO PREP ANYTHING JAVIER JUST KNEW. THAT'S SO GOOFY LMFAOOOO I LOVE THESE TWO SO DAMN MUCH HAHAHAHAA

also obsessed w javier's expression. whenever he has these moments his expressions are always the BEST because theyre SO MINIMAL. the slightest curl of his lip,,, the menace in his eyes,,, compared to lloyd's expressions, javier's are always technically lowkey, but the artist always gives that lowkeyness an extra edge in the art that completes the entire panel. i love javier's expressions so much WAHAHAHA THEY'RE SO GOOD

LOOK AT THEM BEING MENACES ADLFKJSLDJKF absolute thugs. god it's like when they're together they sync a braincell that tells them to go Scheme mode. they're so ridiculous i love them sm,,, alicia ur gonna have to get used to this LMFAO

ALSO I AM SO SO HAPPY LLOYD IMMEDIATELY WENT TO COMPROMISE W THE SPIRIT KING. I KNEW U WOULD THATS MY BOY ILY BUDDY!! i really like how nice his expressions are here,,, i want to think that there's a part of him in there that's actually genuine abt this. esp w the panels that are upcoming,,,

like he looks so soft here! it's sweet,,, i'm really glad he's doing this,,,

AND THEN THIS. THIS PANEL OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. THIS IS GORGEOUS I HAVE TO SHOW IT

REALLY enjoying all these soft lineart from lighting moments that the artist is putting in. god i love this so much,,, there's a metaphor in here somewhere,,, idk,,, i like this a lot!!! alicia seeing pieces of suho's heart poking thru,,, like sunrays,,,, hehehe sweet,,,, so sweet,,,

i love this panel to pieces but i do think its funny af that in this panel lloyd is crouching like that LOL what a creature ily bud

ALSO. ALSOO lets talk about what alicia's thoughts are here as she's looking at him,,, she says smth along the lines of "ur interesting to me bc i cant figure u out,,," and i love that a lot,,, maybe im looking too far into this but i read this as her saying "im seeing pieces of who u really are, i want to figure u out / explore ur true and honest self". she's learning more abt the side of lloyd thats empathetic, thats selfless, that brings out a good outcome for everyone,,,, she wants to see more of that side of him methinks,,,,, regardless of what she actually meant by this, it's a very cute moment and i really like it,,,

it again makes me think that alilloyd as a ship has soooo much potential. it could be so so good,,, this moment especially helps give it a little ground to stand on,,, i just wish there was a stronger foundation,,, it could be even greater,,, ohhh,,,, maybe in future eps who knows? we'll have to wait and see,,,

also hi artanis!! this line from her caught my eye i wanted to bring it up

im willing to bet that this belief is also one that was sourced from credos/jang-cheol, just like the rock paper scissors game and just the farming/pacifism schtick as a whole. it probably played a part in how he had to convince the demons to follow him in the first place,,,

this could also indicate that living honestly and working to earn is a principle that jang-cheol followed in korea, and he decided that he would stick with it when he became credos. alternatively, he had the complete opposite principle (he was a gamer after all, with a max level character,,, could imply that he spent all his time on the game) but when he got transmigrated, he realized that he had another shot at making a living honestly and decided to commit to that. there isn't really enough to make a solid conclusion on how jang-cheol lived, but this is an interesting indicator and i think it's worth a bookmark! i hope the prequel gets a manhwa so i can read it,,, manifesting,,,

oh also the railroad! yay!! y'know idk if this is quite the preservation of nature i had thought they would do LOL this,,, could be considered manipulating the ecosystem too much,,, but also i am not a biologist! so i wouldn't know! it looks nature-preserved so i'll take it!

seems like the demons won't be too far from home too, since they'll probably be the ones employed to run the railroad tracks once it's complete. lloyd essentially gave them jobs! yahoo!

AND THEEEN THE SECOND REALLY NICE PANEL FOR THIS WEEK YAYAYAYY WAAAAHHHH LLOYYYD LLOYD

i will be honest the glare is pretty uh. harsh but i dont mind at all bc YAYYY YAYYY NICE MOMENT WITH LLOYD YAHOO YAHOO. he seems and looks super tired here too,,, one of the panels before this was his heart freezing up again and alicia asked if they should stop bc of his heart, but he refuses,,, ghhh,,, stupid fucking martyr i love you stop doing that though please take a break

this panel is again another alicia pov panel and i really really like it,,, he's so Sun character to me idk how to explain that (javier is Moon to me). maybe ill break that down in a different post another time but yeah,,, yeah,,, sun and moon,,, yeah,,,,,,, also alicia is Comet. one day ill elaborate

and then there it is, goofy lloyd panel HAHA there's the greedy front he always puts on, welcome back! alicia's reaction too LMFAOOO she's sick of his antics /lh

like bud u dont have to say anything else,,, we know u care lloyd u dont have to put up the money part at the end anymore,,,,,,, goofy ass

their lil moment here was also rlly cute,,, alicia laughing at lloyd's antics and just. his big ass smile HAHAHAHAH so so cute i love this a lot,,,

and then the railroad got completed YAYY YAYYYY YAYYY ONE STEP CLOSER TO A HAPPY ENDING!!!

lloyd got like a jump ability and according to my mutuals thats not in the novel? so im curious as to what thats for,,, lloyd says it already but yeah he's a swordmaster now and has tons of other skills and summons too. what would a super jump be useful for,,,? so far, most if not all of his skills have had some use in the story,,, skills that are deliberately brought up like this are always used eventually. what in the world will a jump skill do??? what kind of situation will lloyd find himself in?? is this not almost over??? i'm so curious,,,

also this panel lloyd looks really tired, exhausted even,,, his irises look dulled and theres slight bags,,,, the construction plus the effects on his heart is probably doing him in,,,

and then we see him keel over LAKDFJLSDKJF

I GASPED SO LOUD WHEN I SAW THIS AND IM NOT SURE IF ITS OUT OF WORRY OR IF ITS OUT OF GIDDY. bc listen, on the one hand, oh my god im so worried for lloyd please be okay dont DIE. on the other hand,,, on the other, fic-brained character interaction-pilled hand,,, WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP CHARACTER WHUMP WHUMP MOMENT HURT COMFORT. YAHOO FIREWORKS EVERYONE CHEER!!! WHUMP!!! WHUMP IN MY TGED!!! WAOWIE WAOWIE WAOWIE!!!

sorry. my demons. anyway

alicia catching him is so good,,, sweet,,,, so sweet,,,,, ANOTHER POINT FOR ALILLOYD. again i wish the foundation for alilloyd was stronger, bc if they had established it in a better or more solid/connected way this moment would hit even harder,,, BUT NO,,, its missing impact for me simply bc alicia and lloyd do not talk/share/save each other enough. but it's so cute,,, sweet,,, this moment is nice,,, ghhh,,,, i feel heartbroken over this its bittersweet

and off they go,,, yes,,, a queen, her boyf, and her boyf's boyf. beautiful. alicia is carrying him again hehe,,,

off they go to get the eye of summer!! YAYYY!!! lloyd will stay alive!!! YAHOO!!! we are one step closer to beating fate and getting that happy ending,,, hold on lloyd, hold on everyone,,, it'll be over soon! if they don't get a happy ending i am going to cry and sob for forever and ever!!!! i'm serious!!!!!!!!

i genuinely had a lot of fun reading this ep the moments were all so fun and i'm very glad that things are looking up for them,,,!!! this does also worry me that there's going to be one more final obstacle before we actually get their good ending. bc now that i think abt it, getting the eye of summer does save lloyd but it doesn't stop fate,,, so,,, there might be more trouble ahead. but i'm not gonna worry about that right now!!! i'm coping!!! i'm coping.

that's all from me tho,,, i have to get back to the school grind,,, i'll see y'all next time!!!

#tged #the greatest estate developer #the greatest estate designer #lloyd frontera #tged lloyd #alicia magentano #tged spoilers #lynn misc #tged javier #javier asrahan #tged alicia #not a lot of bonus thoughts from me here actually #just that my courses r gonna get a lot worse from here on out so... hopefully ill still be able to post each week #its my favorite part of the week! gathering my thoughts and putting something cohesive together (or well as cohesive as my brain can get LO #im having a lot of fun reading and writing abt tged and i wanna keep doing it #ill prolly keep doing it long after it ends theres so much i wanna analyze and say!#especially since theres other works in the same universe to yap abt hehe #i used to always be a lurker in fandom but ever since my rottmnt attachments ive gotten more and more involved and that makes me happy #im very happy to be here and to just tged-out like this its very fun! im so happy #ok guess i did have a bonus thought after all LOL ill post now gnite yall

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peacockrulz · 3 months ago

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Funny stuff happens on twitter sometimes dkslfjsdlkf

#these tags are dedicated to the person who told me to stop hiding headcanon info in the tags #im still doing it LKSDFSDFKLFJ #anyway some exposition for my tumblr fans:#J never sleeps. like ever #if she does “sleep” she usually does it sitting in the drop-pod #a lah inuyasha style LMAO #if that makes sense #she never even slept during Tessa's sleepovers #she'd just lay there letting her mind wander #But it always stressed Tessa out that J never relaxed #so one day she was finally able to convince J to TRY. just once.#the first time J ever slept and the first time she truly let her guard down in that manor #was curled up. as small as she could be. next to Tessa.#J was so scared of being found. of being hurt for stopping just once.#so Tessa sat with her the entire time. So she could feel safe enough to finally rest #J can't sleep because it means she'd have to physically stop #and after so long since she the last time she was allowed to rest #I don't think she knows how any more.#and if she did I doubt she'd let herself stop for even a moment #because stopping means letting it catch up to you #its easier just to keep moving; isn't it?#its easier then facing the fact she'll never lay next to her ever again #or smth idk im not a writer lol #ANYWAY thanks for reading :]#murder drones #serial designation j #serial designation v #uzi doorman #tessa is mentioned but I don't really think it warrants a tags :p #I really should be making text posts if im gonna make tags this friggin long

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artificer-real · 6 days ago

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ive started to really despise self help posts because all they do for me is illustrate just how apparently fucked i am compared to most other people

#vent #bloody hell #like gods this shit works for you??#such bullshit #i know its not good to be mad at other people for being happier than you #but fuck dude why cant i ever get a win bigger than ''fine i guess i dont wanna kill myself''#like thats great and all but im still in the exact same hole as before!#ive never even needed self help posts in the first place- all i need is to pull myself together and fix things #... no thats a lie. i havent been able to do that in years.#call it lack of energy or motivation or willpower or whatever #nowadays even when people like my brother try to help me as much as they know how #i just cant manage to try #i tried so hard for years and where did that get me? burnout 2 electric boogaloo #i can try to light the spark like i used to as much as i want #never gonna catch if theres nothing left to burn #cant even slow down #because i know that wont fix anything #ill be just as exhausted as before because my energy levels are perpetually at 0 i guess.#''just try harder'' WHY???#WHY ARE YOU TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE??#what is giving you the motivation to keep pushing on like that??#what could possibly be so important to you that its worth ALL OF THIS!??#i dont understand #i remember i used to push on despite everything #but there was no reason. i was fighting cause what else could i do?#but as soon as i realized that i ran out of steam. not quite the same when you realize youre ruining yourself for literally no reason #because you never considered doing anything else #what a fucking joke

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jellophoid · 1 month ago

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thinking more about haruka and yumi,,,,,,cus she did regularly visit her throughout the years at sunflower and she was always there even if it was a lie

#///#and haruka is like 9 in the first game right ?#so thats a lot of time they spent together #I know it meant a lot to yumi and the fact that she was able to at least be in harukas life #its just crazy how they never mention her beside name again #like....thats the only woman that kiryu ever loved too !!#its just so unfortunate how she was not in yakuza 0 at alllll !!!#and how tf were we supposed to recognize her name being brought up like it doesnt make sense #anyways im disappointed in rgg for that #but they hate women so what do I expect #yuki being kiryus LI in ishin was really funny but I wish it was yumi v_v))#like if the story says she was really important but never shows it then !!!! im gonna make it happen !!!!!#they didn't have nishiki as kiryus brother but their bond in the end made my fucking heart hurt

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multifandomhoodies · 22 days ago

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anyone else hate long distance relationships and lack of consistent feelings on their part