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mistmarigold · 1 year ago

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What if Sunjae didn’t die that night? Part 3 (lovely runner au)

[Read Part 1 and Part 2 here.]

Sunjae stood outside Sol’s apartment, wearing a hat and mask, gazing at the door. His hand momentarily goes up to ring the doorbell but stops a breadth away.

This goes on for at least three times before he decides to turn away and leave, reprimanding himself for giving into his selfishness and choosing to do this. Just as he was about to take a step to leave, the door opens and Sol’s voice drifts out to him.

“Umma! I’m coming in 10 minutes.”

Except, Sol sees Sunjae and her eyes widen. There were only a few times Sunjae was able to truly look at Sol’s face. Each time was of such great magnitude that it forever altered both their lives. But strangely enough, there wasn’t a moment when he could just simply look at Sol - how her face brightens up and her eyes harbour tiny crinkles, how you can practically read every single emotion as it flits across her face, how there was never any holding back from her - no veils.

The door is about to close on her face when Sunjae grabs it. Did she recognise him?

“Sunjae-ya!”

Of course she did. It warmed his heart (even though his brain told him that not many people are built like him and a hat or mask doesn’t alter much).

“What are you doing here?” Sol asks once she got over her initial shock, beaming.

There was some chatter outside that both of them heard at the same time, Sunjae didn’t pay it much attention but Sol pushed the door open with one hand and grabbed him by coat to pull him inside the house. The door closing behind them as Sunjae leans over Sol, his hands on the arms of her wheelchair.

Sol’s eyes widen even more and she looks away from him, startled.

“I didn’t want anyone to see you and spread gossip about you!” Sol rushed out.

Sunjae takes a deep breath, a whiff of Sol’s soft floral scent coming to him. He gives her a slow nod.

Just then Sol’s mother comes through after spotting a tall man in her entryway.

“Oh, you’re here! I hope it wasn’t difficult finding the apartment. Come in, come in!”

Sol looks at her mom quizzically, her brows furrowed. But she couldn’t ask her mom much without offending Sunjae so she turns to him and gesture for him to go in - a big smile on her face.

As Sunjae goes ahead, Sol hurriedly asks her mom what’s up by frantic hand motions and expressions. She was blatantly ignored as her mom focuses on Sunjae and making him comfortable.

“I know you said you only have a short time so I’ve set up dinner already! Thank you for coming,” Bok-soon says to Sunjae as he bows.

Sol goes to help her mom out (and to ask questions) but she never gets the opportunity between back and forth from the kitchen and Sunjae being right there. When they finally settle down, it was a tad bit awkward because no one was really sure what to say. Sol couldn’t outright ask him about things as his fan - she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Sunjae was second guessing himself about every single thing anyway so he kept his mouth shut.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Sunjae bows to her.

“Eat well!” Bok-soon says before helping him to dishes.

As enthusiastic as Sol was about Ryu Sunjae literally being in her living room, she was a bit out of her mind. In her heart, she wanted to give everything to him and fatten him up before he leaves. In reality, she was trying to not stare at him and not make him feel like an alien. She wasn’t sure if that was working despite her best tries.

At last, Sunjae says, “I know your mom from way back.”

“Huh?”

Bok-soon joins in, “Correct, we were neighbours, Sol-a! They lived right across us when we had the dvd store. It’s a wonder that you didn’t know.”

Sol was flabbergasted.

“I know we moved from there soon enough but even then it’s strange that you never saw him!”

Sol refuses to believe it - how could Sunjae be right across her? It felt like a joke.

“Umma, it must be someone else. How could we be neighbours?” Sol insists.

Sol’s mom moves to hit her, “are you doubting my memory?! Ask him yourself since you’ll believe him.”

Sol makes a face at her mom but doesn’t ask Sunjae.

“She’s right, we lived across each other before your family moved,” Sunjae says softly, focusing on his food.

Sol goes silent at that. Today was full of surprises: first it was Sunjae at her home then she finds out they were neighbours. Was she dreaming? This couldn’t be real. She shakes her head with a small laugh. Both her mom and Sunjae look at her and she quickly shakes her head at them.

This was getting worse by the minute. All that confusion wouldn’t even let her enjoy Sunjae having dinner with her.

But she was inquisitive by nature so Sol continues, “where did you two meet again?”

“Oh, just down-“

Sunjae interrupts, a bit of panic in his voice, “I was in the neighbourhood with my manager since he had to pick something up from someone and your mom saw me when I stepped out to get some air.”

Sol’s eyes narrow, she puts her finger on her chin doubting every single thing in that moment. But how could she call her Sunjae a liar? So she gives him a big, wide smile and nodded at him to continue eating.

The sheer panic that gripped Sunjae when Sol was about to find out that he was there that night - that he had followed her friend’s car to her home - a chill went through him. Yeah, he didn’t want her to know many things but especially that. He’d rather be a stranger to her than considered stalker.

But was he a stranger to her? The amount of bright, wide smiles he had received from Sol…. his heart expanded and expanded. Every. Single. Time. His regular, slowed heartbeat felt like it was in a constant marathon in her presence. For a second, he felt tempted to hold his heart and physically calm it down somehow. But he was sure Sol would think something was wrong with him so he abandoned that feeling. It was the first time he knew Sol in an ordinary, mundane setting. And he realised one sure thing about her: she had a penchant for dramatics. He chuckled, much to the surprise of his manager who stared at him through rare view mirror.

It went better than he thought. There wasn’t boisterous conversation or anything but it felt light and comfortable - Sunjae hadn’t felt that in ages. He thought back to Sol’s sweet goodbye.

“At this time, there shouldn’t be anyone so you’ll be fine! Have you called your manager?” Sol asked as Sunjae wore his shoes.

He nodded at her.

“Okay then it shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll come with you so you get to the car safe and sound, don’t worry!” Sol nodded to herself, decisiveness in her tone.

Sunjae wanted to laugh - it wasn’t as if he couldn’t go down by himself. But it was endearing to see her like that. He smiled to himself before turning around.

Only to see Sol beaming up at him, yet again. There was no other word for it. He wished he could pocket that smile forever.

Sol’s mother comes to the entryway, “Thank you for coming, Sunjae. It was so nice having you here. Thank you for letting me do this little thing.”

Unbeknownst to Sol, Sunjae and her mother were on a different tangent. Despite her suspicion, Sol didn’t pry too much about the story - not that there were any lies, they were just half-truths.

“Thank you for hosting me, everything was great. You didn’t have to do this,” Sunjae bowed to her.

Bok-soon shrugged, “nonsense! It was just a meal. Feel free to come again whenever you feel like.”

Sunjae bowed to her again before turning to the door.

Just as he was about to go out, Sol went, “oh no, wait! I had to give you something. Let me go grab it!”

She quickly circled and wheeled to her room. Sunjae’s heart prickled and he looked down. He didn’t even want to see her mother lest he sees her sadness. But when Sol came back, there was a bouquet of sunflowers on her lap and her mother smiling at Sol.

He looked down at Sol who held out the bouquet to him, “these are from my plants so they are extra special and very important to me and I want to give them to you.”

She looked down shyly, still holding out the flowers.

Sol’s mother laughed, “You’re lucky, Sunjae, because she doesn’t give her sunflowers to anyone!“

Sunjae took the flowers from Sol, his heart felt like it was about to burst out from his chest.

“Thank you,” he knew that those two words would never be able to encapsulate even 1/4th of his feelings, forget all of them.

“You’re welcome, Sunjae!”

“I’m going to head in and check in on Umma, get home safe,” Sol’s mother said before leaving.

Sunjae was about to say bye and leave before Sol went, “okay, let’s go. I’ll drop you to your car.”

She opened the door, checked both sides, and then gestured for Sunjae to come out.

With his mask and hat on, he looked comical next to Sol. Their height difference extra stark with her sitting.

“You know you don’t have to come with me. I can go by myself just the way I came up,” he said as they moved towards one end of the floor.

“Yeah but what if someone recognises you? Oh no, we can’t have that!” She kept looking around as if someone would fly in from the sky on 3rd floor.

“And then I’ll have to come and drop you back to your home,” he teased, surprised at himself.

Sol scrunched her nose before looking at him, “why would you do that?”

He shrugged, “because you were my neighbour. I need to make sure you’re home safe.”

Sol shook her head, “it doesn’t make sense. How could I have never seen you?”

He shrugged, not getting into details.

They had reached the stairs and accessibility ramp.

Sunjae stopped and turned to fully face Sol before kneeling down, “thank you for having me for dinner and thank you for these flowers from your plants. I’ll treasure them for a long, long time.”

Sol chuckled, “flowers only last for a short while. You don’t have to be extra sweet and say that.”

“What if I prove you wrong?”

Sol doesn’t reply, just shakes her head as if he was silly.

Gaining whatever little courage he could muster, he went ahead, “how about I give you my number and you can check in on updates about these flowers if you like?”

Sol’s eyes widened, she shook her head. “No, no, what if it gets accidentally released?”

He raised his eyebrows, “you’ll release it?”

She almost smacks him before realising he was Ryu Sunjae, “I would NEVER do that but still you should be careful with your number and not give it to anyone.”

“Are you anyone?”

She nodded. Sunjae almost laughed out loud.

“How about I give you my number and you can just text me about these flowers when you’ve figured out the magical solution to keep them alive, okay?” Sol pressed her hands together, biting her lip, unsure.

Sunjae handed his phone to her to add in her number.

“Thank you for trusting me with your number,” he comments, putting the phone back.

“Well, you aren’t a stranger to me. Now let’s go!”

Sol made a move to go down the ramp but Sunjae stopped her.

“You really don’t need to come drop me off. I’m a grown man, I can go down by myself. You should go back home, I’ll feel much better.”

She shook her head, “nope, I’ll come. What if something happens?”

Sunjae put a hand on her arm to stop her, “and then I’ll come back up to send you home. This will keep going on the entire night. Plus the longer we argue here, the more chances of someone seeing us.”

Sol looked around again, she was about to say something but then saw Sunjae’s face and gave in, “okay, can you text me when you’re in your car?”

He nodded. But to tease her, he couldn’t help but add, “then you’ll have my number.”

She shrugged, “then text me from your manager’s number. I won't bother him, I promise."

He turned away from her to lowly chuckle, "okay, I'll do that. Now you go home."

“Okay, goodnight, Sunjae! Get home safe, eat well!” She bowed a bit to him before waving and going back to her apartment, turning around once to urge him to leave.

Back in the car, Sunjae texts her from his number and receives a thumbs up on his update. No more, no less. Still, he smiles to himself.

—

[Part 4 here.]

#im lowkey struggling #with finding the time #hence the slowww updates #also have no solid plan i just figure out as i write #apologies for the wait #thank you for reading and commenting!#it forces me to show up and write #lovely runner fic #lovely runner #soljae #my fics

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everchased · 1 year ago

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i have a small headcanon that one of the reasons finch and lae'zel get along so well and so quickly is both of their tendencies to subtly express themselves through their long fuckign ears

#statement ;#those things move change my mind (you can't)#it's not 1 to 1 obv bc she is an alien but it's #it's like a intuitive supplement to spoken language #people read her tone as bitchy 100% of the time but that's not what she means and he naturally picks up on that nuance #the best comparison i have is like. so i irl have apd and one time spoke with someone who had aphasia #and the pantomiming she did to help her find words almost completely erased the delay i usually struggle with #it was wild #anyway that's kinda finch and lae'zel #the other reason is she's very authoritative and he LOVES being told what to do #who said that #bg3 #oc: finch

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sp-growingpains · 2 months ago

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Rowan B. ☆

Its the eldest of the goobers, Rowan Broflovski! He's finally drawn out! I've drawn so little of him, and what a crime that was! Sweet, tired son boy!

Harper | @patchoululi

📓 - As mentioned before, he was the first twin to make an appearance! Absolutely something he will never let Ronnie forget!

📓 - The more introverted of the two. Most of the time he has major resting bitch face, most of the time it is on purpose.

📓 - This does change when he's around Ronnie. It's a very small change, but his brows tend to relax more and he's more likely to smile.

-> This changes more when they're older. He finds himself actually smiling and able to be a goober in public.

-> Ronnie acts a bit like a security blanket for him. That thing when you're with your friend and can just relax because at least someone there gets your sense of humor

📓 - Dry! The most dry humor you could have in a human being! There's a bit of a gallows humor in there, too. Which doesn't always go over well with other people, so he tends to keep to himself.

📓 - While he got Jean's hair, he inherited his dad's nose and eyes. He relates to his father more on personality, too.

-> He didn't really get his father's temper, just that no patience for bullshit attitude. Ronnie tends to pick on him when he tries to give him the stare ™.

"You know you look like Dad when you do that, right? You have no power over me. Put it away."

"I hate you."

"No~ you~ don't~"

-> That being said, the boy struggles with depression at a pretty young age. The tired look isn't always because he's bothered.

-> He's introduced to medication pretty quickly, something Jean is immediately on top of. As he gets older, he stays with his therapist for as long as he can.

📓 - Does very well in school. He has a heavy hand in Ronnie passing any of his classes. Rowan will accept nothing less than perfection. Straight A student the whole time.

📓 - He's got a small phobia of failure. A small compulsive need to be the very best because messing things up stresses him out. He gets caught up in his head over the slightest fuck up.

📓 Hobbies Inclide-

🎸 - Rowan plays bass! He loves music just like his brother! But unlike Ronnie, he doesn't just stop at one instrument.

🎹 - Piano is his guilty pleasure. He loves classical music sure, but just about anything that can be played on those ivory keys puts him at peace. He'll often use this to calm down if he's going through it.

⚾️ - Rowan found himself really enjoying baseball! He likes basketball, too, but only when he's playing with his family. But with baseball, it's his. He doesn't share that with anyone else. A lot of nights when he's supposed to be sleeping spent at the field.

📓 - Writing! Writing! Writing! Oh god does the boy write! Poetry, stories, lyrics, even plays! You name it, Rowan dabbles in it!

⛺️ - And of course, just like Ronnie, he loves camping. It's quiet. Most of the time, it's relaxing. Most of the time, he's alone. No expectations. Just nature and maybe finally getting some sleep.

📓 - He sleeps very poorly. A lot of that comes from that he feels like he's wasting time when he's asleep. Rowan can't accept anything less than perfection as stated above, so that means every moment MUST be dedicated to doing something.

📓 - Most times, you'll find him with his headphones in. He's not shy about it either. He buys the big ones that go over your head so you know he doesn't want to be messed with.

-> That isn't to say he doesn't want the company. He very much does. He's just afraid.

-> Living with depression is hard. Especially when you have your downs. Rowan often feels like he's too much to deal with, so he doesn't let many people get close.

-> That part of him that feels like he needs to be good at everything he does doesn't translate well with social encounters. He often feels he's not as good as Ronnie is, so it stresses him out.

-> Eventually, if he's around you enough, he'll loosen up. It just takes time.

📓 - His relationship with his grandparents is very special to him. As is his relationship with his religion. Rowan keeps to himself about it for the most part. After all, it's his relationship with his religion... no one else's.

📓 - Spends a lot of time with his grandparents, helping them with the holidays and learning as much as he can from them. He loves his grandma Sheila very much.

📓 - As much as Ronnie is a mama's boy, Rowan gets along with their father more. Kyle is one of the few people where Rowan can just be at peace around.

-> So his relationship with Jean isn't rocky, like Ronnie and Kyle's is. It's more like... both of them are walking on ice around each other.

-> There's a lot of times when Rowan feels like he can't compete with Ronnie. He sees how his twin brother and his mother get along so well, and it kind of hurts sometimes.

-> Jean fully blames herself for any and all of Rowan's mental health. She struggles with depression and now her baby boy has it. It's heavy stuff.

-> So these combined insecurities just cause them to dance around one another. But, just like how Rowan had to call his brother out, Ronnie calls him out for it when they're older. Telling him to talk about it and stop holding it in!

📓 - Rowan does, however, think his "Uncle" Stan is the coolest guy ever! He grows up listening to all of those old Crimson Dawn albums. Steals his mom's old shirt and watches every recording.

📓 - Even though Ronnie gets the reputation for being a bit of a flirt. It's Rowan, who's a bit of a heartbreaker. He turns a lot of people down, usually using the excuse that he's too busy. (The real reason is that fear mentioned above.)

📓 - Rowan is demisexual. It's takes him a while to get comfortable with another person, even more so when it comes to romance. Like his twin, he doesn't care what gender you are...it's who you are that matters.

-> He is very protective over his people, though. A very big, protective older brother figure.

-> But when he falls, he crashes. If he catches feelings, that's it. He's done for. There's a tight feeling in his chest, he mistakes for anxiety, and he's a certified fumbler.

📓 - His voice claim is the singer Sawyer Hill! A few of his songs are on Rowan's playlist for a reason!

📓 - He very much wants to be an author when he's older. I definitely share the headcanon that Kyle becomes a professor later on in life, namely English.

-> But I think Rowan puts that to the side when he's a young adult in favor for Ronnie's dreams.

-> It's not something he'll ever bring up to his twin, but Rowan sacrifices a lot of himself for his brother.

-> The whole reason he picked up bass in the first place was FOR Ronnie. The bass is often the instrument that holds the band together, but it takes more of a background role to say, the guitar. Even though he was named after Dio's guitarist.

-> And that idea sort of represents their relationship as a whole. Ronnie relies on Rowan to keep him grounded and put together. While Rowan relies on Ronnie to sometimes take that step into the unknown, to remember to breath.

-> A lot of Rowan's personal story is growing up too fast, and like his brother, finding your own identity in all of it.

-> On a more uplifting side, it's also about accepting that your feelings are valid and depression is a struggle, but you're so very strong for overcoming it. For learning to live with it!

-> Rowan often feels indebted to his brother. For as much as Ronnie thinks he needs Rowan. He feels it to be the other way around.

Hey, once again, thanks for reading this far! I truly adore you, and I'm floored every time I read those kind tags! I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for sticking around! Here's a Playlist for your troubles!

#south park #south park oc #sp oc #my oc stuff #next generation #Rowan Broflovski #oc x canon #that's right baby; Jean names her kids after TWO members from Dio #Rowan's post is a little more sad than his brothers #I actually had a hard time writing this one up #I've rambled about it before; but mental health - namely depression - is something I take very seriously #I hovered over that with Rowan and Jean because I wanted to tell a story that connected me to other people.#A way of me kinda going - hey I get it #you're not alone; those struggles you feel everyday; that exhausted uphill and down hill swing; I fucking get it #If just once person feels heard; or seen from these little brain action figures; then I've done my job #these are topics that are rough and hard to read and I may not always articulate them well #But I DO care; I care so very much.#I feel that way about my religion too; I gave Rowan a little bit of my quiet love for that too!#Find what makes you feel good; love it because its apart of you; because there is no one in this world like you #And I love you; I think your soul is contagious~!#oc art #oh yes; btw I did spell idiot wrong the first time in Ronnie's pic #CAPITALIZE ON YOUR OWN FUCK UPS BABY #HE GETS IT FROM MEEEEEE #bro has chronic 🤨 face #Spotify #sp-growingpains

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saveme-storybrooke-potc · 1 month ago

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when will people start writing fics with Hope as a teenager and not her as a baby-7 year old? I'll (maybe) take like the pre teen ages lowest age 9. but I am SICK of seeing fics where she's a baby that does absolutely nothing but is a prop that has her mini mouse/croc/swan/snow white stuffy that dresses as some DISNEY character for halloween and wears either "big sis" or "little sis" shirts, with like 10 siblings from either disney or named after Killians brother (if you didn't already know im the biggest anti for that), or even alice/tily as a sibling or hope with ariels kid. I just want to read Hope going on adventures that don't involve Pan. I want to see cygnet scholar fics, Hope as a raging hormonal teenager, Hope under a curse and has to break it, Hope having dark magic or light magic. just ANYTHING but her being at an age where her skull isn't fully developed.

#rants #ouat #hope swan jones #cygnet scholar #captain swan #ouat next generation #PLEASE i need to read actual fics #im not into all the fluff #or family stuff #or captain swan going through their struggles #ive read it one too many times #ouat fics #help me find fics

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emilydorp · 1 day ago

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Something that always breaks my heart is how Seunghyun‌ really struggled to accept his own identity. That’s what led to those long depressions and made him keep his distance from Jiyong… he just couldn’t accept his real self. Was scrolling through old blogs and found these two interviews. One from around 2011,( you can tell by his blonde hair and haircut), where he says he’s still going through an identity crisis. Then the next year, 2012, during the Fantastic Baby era, there’s this interview where he says: “Last year, it was a hard year for me. Emotionally.” And if I’m not wrong, that was also when GTOP had emotionally broken up too. (Not totally sure about the timeline tho.)

I just really hope he’s at peace with who he really is now.💔

a) Oh, the 2011 Secret Garden Parody remark was a joke. He was having an "identity crisis" about his sexuality since he had to kiss two boys (liar, you were already dating Ji).

b) The other interview, however, is pretty important. He also spoke about the weight of his persona, as well as how cautious, worried and perfectionist he was becoming, in either the same interview or an interview from about the same time. GTOP weren't emotionally broken up yet, we have some pretty good GTOP moments (but Tabi had been doing some VERY intense filming and had a lot of angsty thoughts and feelings within him, and by his own admission (in a different interview from a slightly different timeframe), he said that he shut a lot of people out because of this pent-up frustation from filming). I linked the interview where he spoke about this yesterday in the post where I tried to explain the Coup D'Etat-making era break-up.

In the same interview, he praises the GD&TOP album, so he probably wasn't emotionally done with Jiyong at all (and the fact that he says "something felt good" and in the past has spoken about his attachment to the GD&TOP album and how he put his heart into it... Yeh idk I feel like he was glad to have Ji with him).

c) It's okay, he turned out just fine. Here's an interview from 2022. He was on the edge of a depressive episode and/or was already having one ending 2012, so his words will ofc worry us all. But yeh, what you feel and say while you have depression isn't representative of what you truly feel about yourself, who you are and what you've achieved. You should read it, it's very positive (and gives me HOPE that we're gonna get an album like "After Hours", which is a clear STORYLINE, which is DOPE! Hopefully it's more positive tho). I explained more in tags fyi :D But in this interview he even said he’d say his younger self to “be more courageous”, which oddly warmed my heart. Cuz it takes acknowledgement and reflection of your actions to come to such a conclusion.

#emilysaittt #Dw our baby is doing SO much better than he did ending 2012-mid 2014 #That wasn't the best time for him (often by own admission)#But by the time 2015-2016 rolled around he was doing better #Then beginning 2017 (before the scandal even mind you) was another painful time #And then ofc ending 2019-beginning 2020 was also confusing #Till we get to mid 2020 where everything *settles*#And I think he was temporarily shaken in beginning 2023 (especially cuz of his chaotic way of announcing that he left BB)#But he seemed to get better again and find settlement by the time he needs to film SG2.. working on projects with freedom really calms him #The same way 'Tazza' seemed to have calmed his soul down back then as well #I think (and maybe this is an “anecdotal (?)” feeling since I have similar issues as Tabi) he's in a slightly more peaceful place rn?#Since his identity isn't being shaken anymore it's more so about the current settlement of his soul rather than who he is as a person #Idk if I'm explaining myself correctly lulz but what I'm trying to say is that these old interviews aren't reflective of how Tabi feels now #Since he was genuinely struggling at the time (by that I mean that I agree).. honestly reading R.O.D’s lyrics is very interesting #With this interpretation of Tabi in mind #I haven't properly read the January 2025 interviews (since I get upset when I encounter stuff that's too sad) but he seemed PENSIVE #Which isn't immediately a bad thing imho because being pensive doesn't immediately he's sad.. CUZ LOOK HOW HAPPY HE WAS IN 2022!!#GD&TOP were both SOOOO happy in 2022 I can't say it enough!! So SO happy!! So yeh just trust Seunghyun ig?#Also he has the world's best husband :D

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