#Standards
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Things women should never feel ashamed of:
• Orgasms
• Receiving money
• Receiving compliments
• Pretty privilege
• Being smart
• Dressing up
• Menstrual cycles
• Emotions and being sensitive
• Expressing our sexuality
• Resting and relaxation
• Asserting our sexual needs
• Maintaining our standards
• Saying No
• Wanting or having children
• Choosing to be childfree
• Our body count
• Our nude body
• Wearing makeup or not wearing makeup
• Having boundaries and protecting ourselves
• Our spiritual practices
• Using witchcraft
• Being ambitious
• Going to college
• Being a housewife or stay at home mom
• Loving who and what we love
#succulentsiren#postive affirmations#dark feminine energy#writers and poets#divine feminine#it girl#femininity#dark femininity#affirmations#dark femme#femme fatale#high value#high value men#high value woman#positive mindset#high mindset#self confidence#manifest#witchcraft#spirituality#emotions#sensitive#woman#women#female#femme#standards#pretty privilege#speak your truth#speak
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THIS
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You should be using an RSS reader
On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, GEORGIA, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.
No matter how hard we all wish it were otherwise, the sad fact is that there aren't really individual solutions to systemic problems. For example: your personal diligence in recycling will have no meaningful impact on the climate emergency.
I get it. People write to me all the time, they say, "What can I change about my life to fight enshittification, or, at the very least, to reduce the amount of enshittification that I, personally, experience?"
It's frustrating, but my general answer is, "Join a movement. Get involved with a union, with EFF, with the FSF. Tell your Congressional candidate to defend Lina Khan from billionaire Dem donors who want her fired. Do something systemic."
There's very little you can do as a consumer. You're not going to shop your way out of monopoly capitalism. Now that Amazon has destroyed most of the brick-and-mortar and digital stores out of business, boycotting Amazon often just means doing without. The collective action problem of leaving Twitter or Facebook is so insurmountable that you end up stuck there, with a bunch of people you love and rely on, who all love each other, all hate the platform, but can't agree on a day and time to leave or a destination to leave for and so end up stuck there.
I've been experiencing some challenging stuff in my personal life lately and yesterday, I just found myself unable to deal with my usual podcast fare so I tuned into the videos from the very last XOXO, in search of uplifting fare:
https://www.youtube.com/@xoxofest
I found it. Talks by Dan Olson, Cabel Sasser, Ed Yong and many others, especially Molly White:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTaeVVAvk-c
Molly's talk was so, so good, but when I got to her call to action, I found myself pulling a bit of a face:
But the platforms do not exist without the people, and there are a lot more of us than there are of them. The platforms have installed themselves in a position of power, but they are also vulnerable…
Are the platforms really that vulnerable? The collective action problem is so hard, the switching costs are so high – maybe the fact that "there's a lot more of us than there are of them" is a bug, not a feature. The more of us there are, the thornier our collective action problem and the higher the switching costs, after all.
And then I had a realization: the conduit through which I experience Molly's excellent work is totally enshittification-proof, and the more I use it, the easier it is for everyone to be less enshittified.
This conduit is anti-lock-in, it works for nearly the whole internet. It is surveillance-resistant, far more accessible than the web or any mobile app interface. It is my secret super-power.
It's RSS.
RSS (one of those ancient internet acronyms with multiple definitions, including, but not limited to, "Really Simple Syndication") is an invisible, automatic way for internet-connected systems to public "feeds." For example, rather than reloading the Wired homepage every day and trying to figure out which stories are new (their layout makes this very hard to do!), you can just sign up for Wired's RSS feed, and use an RSS reader to monitor the site and preview new stories the moment they're published. Wired pushes about 600 words from each article into that feed, stripped of the usual stuff that makes Wired nearly impossible to read: no 20-second delay subscription pop-up, text in a font and size of your choosing. You can follow Wired's feed without any cookies, and Wired gets no information about which of its stories you read. Wired doesn't even get to know that you're monitoring its feed.
I don't mean to pick on Wired here. This goes for every news source I follow – from CNN to the New York Times. But RSS isn't just good for the news! It's good for everything. Your friends' blogs? Every blogging platform emits an RSS feed by default. You can follow every one of them in your reader.
Not just blogs. Do you follow a bunch of substackers or other newsletters? They've all got RSS feeds. You can read those newsletters without ever registering in the analytics of the platforms that host them. The text shows up in black and white (not the sadistic, 8-point, 80% grey-on-white type these things all default to). It is always delivered, without any risk of your email provider misclassifying an update as spam:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/10/dead-letters/
Did you know that, by default, your email sends information to mailing list platforms about your reading activity? The platform gets to know if you opened the message, and often how far along you've read in it. On top of that, they get all the private information your browser or app leaks about you, including your location. This is unbelievably gross, and you get to bypass all of it, just by reading in RSS.
Are your friends too pithy for a newsletter, preferring to quip on social media? Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to get an RSS feed from Insta/FB/Twitter, but all those new ones that have popped up? They all have feeds. You can follow any Mastodon account (which means you can follow any Threads account) via RSS. Same for Bluesky. That also goes for older platforms, like Tumblr and Medium. There's RSS for Hacker News, and there's a sub-feed for the comments on every story. You can get RSS feeds for the Fedex, UPS and USPS parcels you're awaiting, too.
Your local politician's website probably has an RSS feed. Ditto your state and national reps. There's an RSS feed for each federal agency (the FCC has a great blog!).
Your RSS reader lets you put all these feeds into folders if you want. You can even create automatic folders, based on keywords, or even things like "infrequently updated sites" (I follow a bunch of people via RSS who only update a couple times per year – cough, Danny O'Brien, cough – and never miss a post).
Your RSS reader doesn't (necessarily) have an algorithm. By default, you'll get everything as it appears, in reverse-chronological order.
Does that remind you of anything? Right: this is how social media used to work, before it was enshittified. You can single-handedly disenshittify your experience of virtually the entire web, just by switching to RSS, traveling back in time to the days when Facebook and Twitter were more interested in showing you the things you asked to see, rather than the ads and boosted content someone else would pay to cram into your eyeballs.
Now, you sign up to so many feeds that you're feeling overwhelmed and you want an algorithm to prioritize posts – or recommend content. Lots of RSS readers have some kind of algorithm and recommendation system (I use News, which offers both, though I don't use them – I like the glorious higgeldy-piggeldy of the undifferentiated firehose feed).
But you control the algorithm, you control the recommendations. And if a new RSS reader pops up with an algorithm you're dying to try, you can export all the feeds you follow with a single click, which will generate an OPML file. Then, with one click, you can import that OPML file into any other RSS reader in existence and all your feeds will be seamlessly migrated there. You can delete your old account, or you can even use different readers for different purposes.
You can access RSS in a browser or in an app on your phone (most RSS readers have an app), and they'll sync up, so a story you mark to read later on your phone will be waiting for you the next time you load up your reader in a browser tab, and you won't see the same stories twice (unless you want to, in which case you can mark them as unread).
RSS basically works like social media should work. Using RSS is a chance to visit a utopian future in which the platforms have no power, and all power is vested in publishers, who get to decide what to publish, and in readers, who have total control over what they read and how, without leaking any personal information through the simple act of reading.
And here's the best part: every time you use RSS, you bring that world closer into being! The collective action problem that the publishers and friends and politicians and businesses you care about is caused by the fact that everyone they want to reach is on a platform, so if they leave the platform, they'll lose that community. But the more people who use RSS to follow them, the less they'll depend on the platform.
Unlike those largely useless, performative boycotts of widely used platforms, switching to RSS doesn't require that you give anything up. Not only does switching to RSS let you continue to follow all the newsletters, webpages and social media accounts you're following now, it makes doing so better: more private, more accessible, and less enshittified.
Switching to RSS lets you experience just the good parts of the enshitternet, but that experience is delivered in manner that the new, good internet we're all dying for.
My own newsletter is delivered in fulltext via RSS. If you're reading this as a Mastodon or Twitter thread, on Tumblr or on Medium, or via email, you can get it by RSS instead:
https://pluralistic.net/feed/
Don't worry about which RSS reader you start with. It literally doesn't matter. Remember, you can switch readers with two clicks and take all the feeds you've subscribed to with you! If you want a recommendation, I have nothing but praise for Newsblur, which I've been paying $2/month for since 2011 (!):
https://newsblur.com/
Subscribing to feeds is super-easy, too: the links for RSS feeds are invisibly embedded in web-pages. Just paste the URL of a web-page into your RSS reader's "add feed" box and it'll automagically figure out where the feed lives and add it to your subscriptions.
It's still true that the new, good internet will require a movement to overcome the collective action problems and the legal barriers to disenshittifying things. Almost nothing you do as an individual is going to make a difference.
But using RSS will! Using RSS to follow the stuff that matters to you will have an immediate, profoundly beneficial impact on your own digital life – and it will appreciably, irreversibly nudge the whole internet towards a better state.
Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise
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Dating a man with money or resources doesn't make you bad.
Women are supposed to choose the winners.
It's literally nature.
Even the female birds in the animal kingdom know better...
#hypergamy#date up#marry well#socioeconomic#socioeconomic dating#feminine dating#marry rich#marry money#date smart#gold digger#sprinkle sprinkle#marry right#black femininity#leveling up#level up#finances matter#high standards#standards#dating standards
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Amazing to me how many violence loving bigots are trying to act like their fetish for the brutalization of innocents is somehow progressive or in support of any cause.
Equating a brutal group of terrorists with all Palestinians is bigoted and untrue. Saying Hamas's tactics are acceptable since Palestinians just can't help committing war crimes because they are incapable of not brutalizing old women and children is bigoted and untrue. Saying it's ok to rape and torture people to death as long as they're Jews is bigoted and untrue.
Hamas stands for nothing. They are a hate group. Just like their supporters.
#so many ppl acting like it's not a bigoted and regressive take to be like:#oh. well. that would be a war crime if the WEST did it but we can't hold palestinians to the same#standards#Hamas oppresses Palestinians. They don't care about them. Just like these people who support Hamas and celebrate a massacre.#also Hamas is a terrorist organization. they are not the same as#Palestine. But just like Hamas most of ya'll don't care about Palestinians. You're just violence lovers excited by the idea of carnage.#Hamas is a hate group and their supporters don't care about Palestine. They just care about watching Israel burn.#Hamas#Palestine#Israel#Gaza
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#Easy Listening#Standards#Vocal Jazz#Adult Contemporary#Pop#Christmas Music#2000s#2010s#Canada#poll#Spotify
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#albert kretschmer#art#costumes#armour#items#weapons#medieval#middle ages#oriflamme#helmets#swords#history#europe#european#crown#throne#trumpets#cups#dagger#sword#tiara#pope#banner#censer#standards#carl rohrbach#spurs#arrow#bow#ring
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“Stop dimming your light for people who can’t light up a cardboard box”
@jaylenrene
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Your emotions should not solely depend on others. It's important to cultivate emotional resilience and a sense of self-worth that isn't solely reliant on external factors. When you have a strong sense of self-love, your relationships become a choice rather than a means to fill an emotional void.
#healthy relationship#toxic relationship#relationship advice#self love#dating advice#life advice#standards#boundaries#confidence#emotional intelligence#level up journey#self confidence#self improvement#self development#self esteem#self awareness
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Jisung: I think you dropped something Minho: What did I drop? Jisung: Your standards Jisung: Wanna date?
#minsung#lee minho#lee know#minho#han#jisung#han jisung#stray kids incorrect quotes#stray kids#stays#skz#incorrect skz#kpop incorrect quotes#drop#standards#dating#something#hwang hyunjin#lee felix#bangchan#seungmin#jeongin#changbin#lee#korean#south korea#kpop group#boy group
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Never let a broke man make you feel guilty for being expensive
#high standards#standards#feminine#high maintainence#high maintenance#boujee#gold digger#women#femininity#black femininity#feminine dating#hypergamy#expensive#black women#confidence#self esteem#self improvement#feminine confidence#feminine community
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Shifting $677m from the banks to the people, every year, forever
I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.
"Switching costs" are one of the great underappreciated evils in our world: the more it costs you to change from one product or service to another, the worse the vendor, provider, or service you're using today can treat you without risking your business.
Businesses set out to keep switching costs as high as possible. Literally. Mark Zuckerberg's capos send him memos chortling about how Facebook's new photos feature will punish anyone who leaves for a rival service with the loss of all their family photos – meaning Zuck can torment those users for profit and they'll still stick around so long as the abuse is less bad than the loss of all their cherished memories:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs
It's often hard to quantify switching costs. We can tell when they're high, say, if your landlord ties your internet service to your lease (splitting the profits with a shitty ISP that overcharges and underdelivers), the switching cost of getting a new internet provider is the cost of moving house. We can tell when they're low, too: you can switch from one podcatcher program to another just by exporting your list of subscriptions from the old one and importing it into the new one:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise
But sometimes, economists can get a rough idea of the dollar value of high switching costs. For example, a group of economists working for the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau calculated that the hassle of changing banks is costing Americans at least $677m per year (see page 526):
https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_personal-financial-data-rights-final-rule_2024-10.pdf
The CFPB economists used a very conservative methodology, so the number is likely higher, but let's stick with that figure for now. The switching costs of changing banks – determining which bank has the best deal for you, then transfering over your account histories, cards, payees, and automated bill payments – are costing everyday Americans more than half a billion dollars, every year.
Now, the CFPB wasn't gathering this data just to make you mad. They wanted to do something about all this money – to find a way to lower switching costs, and, in so doing, transfer all that money from bank shareholders and executives to the American public.
And that's just what they did. A newly finalized Personal Financial Data Rights rule will allow you to authorize third parties – other banks, comparison shopping sites, brokers, anyone who offers you a better deal, or help you find one – to request your account data from your bank. Your bank will be required to provide that data.
I loved this rule when they first proposed it:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/10/getting-things-done/#deliverism
And I like the final rule even better. They've really nailed this one, even down to the fine-grained details where interop wonks like me get very deep into the weeds. For example, a thorny problem with interop rules like this one is "who gets to decide how the interoperability works?" Where will the data-formats come from? How will we know they're fit for purpose?
This is a super-hard problem. If we put the monopolies whose power we're trying to undermine in charge of this, they can easily cheat by delivering data in uselessly obfuscated formats. For example, when I used California's privacy law to force Mailchimp to provide list of all the mailing lists I've been signed up for without my permission, they sent me thousands of folders containing more than 5,900 spreadsheets listing their internal serial numbers for the lists I'm on, with no way to find out what these lists are called or how to get off of them:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service
So if we're not going to let the companies decide on data formats, who should be in charge of this? One possibility is to require the use of a standard, but again, which standard? We can ask a standards body to make a new standard, which they're often very good at, but not when the stakes are high like this. Standards bodies are very weak institutions that large companies are very good at capturing:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/30/weak-institutions/
Here's how the CFPB solved this: they listed out the characteristics of a good standards body, listed out the data types that the standard would have to encompass, and then told banks that so long as they used a standard from a good standards body that covered all the data-types, they'd be in the clear.
Once the rule is in effect, you'll be able to go to a comparison shopping site and authorize it to go to your bank for your transaction history, and then tell you which bank – out of all the banks in America – will pay you the most for your deposits and charge you the least for your debts. Then, after you open a new account, you can authorize the new bank to go back to your old bank and get all your data: payees, scheduled payments, payment history, all of it. Switching banks will be as easy as switching mobile phone carriers – just a few clicks and a few minutes' work to get your old number working on a phone with a new provider.
This will save Americans at least $677 million, every year. Which is to say, it will cost the banks at least $670 million every year.
Naturally, America's largest banks are suing to block the rule:
https://www.americanbanker.com/news/cfpbs-open-banking-rule-faces-suit-from-bank-policy-institute
Of course, the banks claim that they're only suing to protect you, and the $677m annual transfer from their investors to the public has nothing to do with it. The banks claim to be worried about bank-fraud, which is a real thing that we should be worried about. They say that an interoperability rule could make it easier for scammers to get at your data and even transfer your account to a sleazy fly-by-night operation without your consent. This is also true!
It is obviously true that a bad interop rule would be bad. But it doesn't follow that every interop rule is bad, or that it's impossible to make a good one. The CFPB has made a very good one.
For starters, you can't just authorize anyone to get your data. Eligible third parties have to meet stringent criteria and vetting. These third parties are only allowed to ask for the narrowest slice of your data needed to perform the task you've set for them. They aren't allowed to use that data for anything else, and as soon as they've finished, they must delete your data. You can also revoke their access to your data at any time, for any reason, with one click – none of this "call a customer service rep and wait on hold" nonsense.
What's more, if your bank has any doubts about a request for your data, they are empowered to (temporarily) refuse to provide it, until they confirm with you that everything is on the up-and-up.
I wrote about the lawsuit this week for @[email protected]'s Deeplinks blog:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/10/no-matter-what-bank-says-its-your-money-your-data-and-your-choice
In that article, I point out the tedious, obvious ruses of securitywashing and privacywashing, where a company insists that its most abusive, exploitative, invasive conduct can't be challenged because that would expose their customers to security and privacy risks. This is such bullshit.
It's bullshit when printer companies say they can't let you use third party ink – for your own good:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/
It's bullshit when car companies say they can't let you use third party mechanics – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms
It's bullshit when Apple says they can't let you use third party app stores – for your own good:
https://www.eff.org/document/letter-bruce-schneier-senate-judiciary-regarding-app-store-security
It's bullshit when Facebook says you can't independently monitor the paid disinformation in your feed – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#quis-custodiet-ipsos-zuck
And it's bullshit when the banks say you can't change to a bank that charges you less, and pays you more – for your own good.
CFPB boss Rohit Chopra is part of a cohort of Biden enforcers who've hit upon a devastatingly effective tactic for fighting corporate power: they read the law and found out what they're allowed to do, and then did it:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis
The CFPB was created in 2010 with the passage of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which specifically empowers the CFPB to make this kind of data-sharing rule. Back when the CFPA was in Congress, the banks howled about this rule, whining that they were being forced to share their data with their competitors.
But your account data isn't your bank's data. It's your data. And the CFPB is gonna let you have it, and they're gonna save you and your fellow Americans at least $677m/year – forever.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/01/bankshot/#personal-financial-data-rights
#pluralistic#Consumer Financial Protection Act#cfpa#Personal Financial Data Rights#rohit chopra#finance#banking#personal finance#interop#interoperability#mandated interoperability#standards development organizations#sdos#standards#switching costs#competition#cfpb#consumer finance protection bureau#click to cancel#securitywashing#oligarchy#guillotine watch
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How to receive Princess Treatment from men:
Raise your standards. Never settle for the bare minimum or less.
Expect the best. Have high expectations.
Act like a princess. Take being called "boujee", "high maintainence" or "gold digger" as a compliment. Not everyone can have access to you or afford you. You are a luxury.
Look the part. Looks matter. You have to look good. The reality is men will treat you better if you look good
Have a PRIZE mindset. Know that you're the prize.
Be Feminine. Feminine Energy is a valuable asset to have. Heal your wounded feminine energy and embody your divine feminine self. (My How to be more Feminine playlist)
Learn how to RECEIVE. Get comfortable with receiving. Say "Thank You" & express gratitude. (Learn to receive)
#princess treatment#dating standards#high standards#standards#looks matter#level up#siren#receive#high maintenance#gold digger#boujee#dating tips#feminine dating#hypergamy#provider men#providers#feminine#date up#marry well#polarity#feminine masculine polarity#dating#dating 101#dusties#no dusties#dating advice#provider mentality#black femininity#black women#femininity
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