#Source: parks and rec

[stephreynaart]

Was never super into the reverse falls au, don’t know all the details, and not interested

But I always imagined the gleeful twins being exactly like the Saperstein Twins from Parks and Rec

[percabethconvos]

Chiron, walking up to the Poseidon table: Annabeth my dear, you can't sit here

Annabeth, handing him a slip of paper: Oh don't worry I have a permit

Chiron:

Chiron: This just says 'I can do what I want'

[aprill-99]

*After the Gauntlet.*

Amber: “You can’t do that!”

Violet: “Not to worry, I have a permit.”

Dain: “This just says ‘I can do what I want-’”

Xaden: “-And she can. 10/10. 5 Stars.”

[dontremembermejust]

Agatha: Aw, you have a crush on me!

Rio: We’re married.

Agatha: Still…

[fandomnerd9602]

Natasha: I couldn’t believe the crush Wanda had on Y/N…

Y/N: (laughs) oh baby you had a crush on me? How embarrassing!

Wanda: we’re married

Y/N: (laughs) still

Natasha: of course that was nothing compared to the crush Y/N had on Wanda.

Y/N:

Wanda: (laughs) how embarrassing!

For @lifespectator

[riverroan]

Logan: There is no quiet anymore… There is only Wade Wilson.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Raph: If there is credit to take, I will humbly take it.

Raph: But if there is blame, it’s Leo’s fault.

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Anakin: If there is credit to take, I will humbly take it. But if there is blame, it’s Obi-Wan’s fault.

[incorrectbatfam]

Barbara: Why would I want you as my assistant?

Kory: I will work for you. I’ll be on you 24/7. I’ll be like your family. I’m here when you get here in the morning, and sure enough, I’ll be there tucking you into bed at night. Don’t worry, it’s not gay. Do we have questions?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Clint: How long have you been sleeping with Natasha?

Y/N: What

Y/N: I don’t even get…

Y/N: Why would I…

Y/N: I’ve never had sex with anyone. Anywhere.

Y/N: It’s none of your…

Y/N: You have the nerve, the audacity

Y/N: And how do I know, frankly, that YOU’RE not sleeping with her?

Y/N: Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off!

Y/N: Check and mate.

[ladyredsclassroom]

Luna: i made a marshmallow Professor Snape. See? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the marshmallow students for annoying him. You like it?

Professor Snape (choking up): It's fine.

[five-flavor-soup]

Zuko during ‘The Waterbending Scroll’: It’s a white flag and you might as well start waving right now, waterbender—

Katara, still tied up: The ONLY thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!

Zuko:

His soldiers:

The pirates:

Iroh:

Yue:

Zuko: Good spirits,

[liv45no]

*everyone standing around the broken coffee maker*

Remus: so. who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Lily: ...I did. I broke it.

Remus: no. no you didn't. Pads?

Sirius: don’t look at me. Look at James.

James: what?! I didn't break it.

Sirius: huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

James: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Sirius: suspicious.

James: no, it's not!

Marlene: if it matters, probably not, but Reg was the last one to use it.

Regulus: liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Marlene: oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Regulus: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Marlene!

Lily: okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Remus.

Remus: no! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Peter: Remus... Mary’s been awfully quiet.

Mary: rEALLY?!

*everyone starts arguing*

Remus, on the couch: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Remus: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Remus: :)

Remus: good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[dontremembermejust]

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Agatha: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Teen: ...I did. I broke it.

Agatha: No. No you didn't. Lilia?

Lilia: Don't look at me. Look at Alice.

Alice: What?! I didn't break it.

Lilia: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Alice: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Lilia: Suspicious.

Alice: No, it's not!

Jen: If it matters, probably not, but Rio was the last one to use it.

Rio: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Jen: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Rio: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that!

Teen: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Agatha.

Agatha: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Alice:... Mrs. Hart’s been awfully quiet.

Sharon: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Agatha, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Agatha: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Agatha:

Agatha: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N approaches Wanda at the annual Avengers costume party…

Y/N: so what are you dressed as?

Wanda: the Scarlet Witch, mistress of all magic. And you?

Y/N: a Shield agent. I borrowed it from Coulson…gotta be honest i thought your costume would be a little sluttier-

Wanda playfully slaps them…

Wanda: how dare you!

She gives a smirk and wink before sauntering off…

Y/N: (smiles) nice!

Y/N quickly follows her…

[daddiesdrarryy]

James: We are throwing a Halloween party at our house. It’s gonna be the greatest thing ever!

Regulus: Someone will die

James: Of fun!

Regulus: And of murder

James: There’s going to be butterbeer, pumpkins—

Regulus: Bloody goblins

James: Fake ones. It’s gonna be awesome. We have decorations—

Regulus: Dead people that we just murdered

James: Not murdered! But pictures of dead people from Muggle movies

Regulus: Mutilated bodies

James: But fake ones. Candy, dancing, firewhisky. All kinds of food and snacks

Regulus: Blood orphans

James: No—no blood orphans…I don’t know what that is