#Source: parks and rec

[curtis-brothers-hug]

Darry: “Dallas is like the little brother I never had. Because the little brothers I do have are normal and not terrifying.”

[stephreynaart]

Was never super into the reverse falls au, don’t know all the details, and not interested

But I always imagined the gleeful twins being exactly like the Saperstein Twins from Parks and Rec

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Can I speak with you about a personal matter?

Damian: Normally no, but given that there’s only twenty minutes left until the end of human existence... also no.

[percabethconvos]

Chiron, walking up to the Poseidon table: Annabeth my dear, you can't sit here

Annabeth, handing him a slip of paper: Oh don't worry I have a permit

Chiron:

Chiron: This just says 'I can do what I want'

[imsofreakingtired]

[Sevika at the doctor's office]

Nurse: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?

Sevika: One.

Nurse: One bottle?

Sevika: One shelf.

Nurse: Do you exercise?

Sevika: Lovemaking and woodworking.

Nurse: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?

Sevika: I have an uncle who does yoga.

Nurse: Allergies?

Sevika: Cowardice and men. ...And hazlenuts

Nurse: Sexual history?

Sevika: Epic and private.

[aprill-99]

*After the Gauntlet.*

Amber: “You can’t do that!”

Violet: “Not to worry, I have a permit.”

Dain: “This just says ‘I can do what I want-’”

Xaden: “-And she can. 10/10. 5 Stars.”

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

Derek: Those pants look great Y/N

Y/N: Thanks!

Derek: I bet they would look even better on Spencer’s floor

Spencer: Are you hitting on Y/N…for me?

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Ahsoka, to Anakin: You know, Master, when I first met you, I thought, "There is someone who loves his job."

Ahsoka: And then I thought, "Oh, wow. He’s intense."

Ahsoka: And then I thought, "Oh, no. He’s insane. My Master is psychotic, and I need to call Master Obi-Wan."

[dontremembermejust]

Agatha: Aw, you have a crush on me!

Rio: We’re married.

Agatha: Still…

[fandomnerd9602]

Natasha: I couldn’t believe the crush Wanda had on Y/N…

Y/N: (laughs) oh baby you had a crush on me? How embarrassing!

Wanda: we’re married

Y/N: (laughs) still

Natasha: of course that was nothing compared to the crush Y/N had on Wanda.

Y/N:

Wanda: (laughs) how embarrassing!

For @lifespectator

[riverroan]

Logan: There is no quiet anymore… There is only Wade Wilson.

[incorrectgliyeraba]

Elphaba: My sweet, you're sick. Glinda: If I was sick, could I do this? Glinda: [sits there and does nothing] Elphaba: What are you doing? Glinda: Cartwheels...am I not doing them? Elphaba: No.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Raph: If there is credit to take, I will humbly take it.

Raph: But if there is blame, it’s Leo’s fault.

[emmikay]

Penelope: We have each other.

Odysseus: I love you so much.

Penelope: This is real.

Odysseus: I know.

Penelope: You’re here.

Odysseus: YOU’RE here.

Penelope: Every one of the suitors is dead.

Odysseus: I know, I killed them.

Penelope: For me.

Odysseus: For you.

[incorrectbatfam]

Barbara: Why would I want you as my assistant?

Kory: I will work for you. I’ll be on you 24/7. I’ll be like your family. I’m here when you get here in the morning, and sure enough, I’ll be there tucking you into bed at night. Don’t worry, it’s not gay. Do we have questions?

[imsofreakingtired]

Sevika: baby, you're sick. You have a fever

You: I am not sick! If I were sick could I be doing this?

You: *stares intensely into Sevika's eyes*

Sevika: what are you doing?

You: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?

Sevika, softly: No.